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* Posts by Wombling_Free

397 posts • joined 15 Sep 2011

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CSIRO spells out cash-strapped astronomy future

Wombling_Free

Here in Austfailia

The earth is flat, and full of holes where we dug all the stuff out.

What we don't dig, we frack.

The sky is now illegal, and it is an Act of Terrorism to look at it.

Stars are the bits where GOD ALMIGHTY'S GLORIOUS LIGHT shines through.

Recant! Recant!

OR DIE...

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Turnbull says NBN 'most reckless commitment of Commonwealth funds in our history'

Wombling_Free

Re: Most reckless use of Commonwealth funds?

Er, which Goverment agreed to buy F35s? And Eurotigers? At least the NBN might, you know, ACTUALLY WORK.

C'mon Bunny-boy (you cannot actually BE Tony Abbott, as I doubt he's brave enough to use an new-fangled computamatronik keybyplank) lets see you sing the praises of F35s and Eurotigers. Sing for Tony! SING!

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Hubble Telescope loosens Kuiper belt to reveal ICY BODY for NASA boffins' PROBE

Wombling_Free

Re: thought it was a hoax, however....

What do you mean 'worst'?

Humans are a disease...

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Wombling_Free

Re: Give the Hubbles popularity

I think there are actually about 11 Hubble-class telescopes up there. Google 'Keyhole' or 'KH-11' - all of those spy satellites have the same basic chassis and optics as the HST, but just some different sensors. Oh, and they all point at Earth (or 'credible TEEEEERRRRSST threats') rather than the far more interesting stars.

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POND SCUM shine a path to more efficient solar cells

Wombling_Free

Oh, THAT kind of pond scum.

For a moment there I thought you meant ground-up politicians made good solar cells.

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Chinese Jade RABBIT SIGHTED ON MOON by NASA probe

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Wake up Sheeple!

When will people realise that it is the MOON ITSELF that is the fake? It is an advertising stunt by McAppleCocaDisneySoftMonsantoShell.

Want proof? Try finding a photo of the Moon from before 1827 - YOU CAN'T! The conspiracy was started then by the International Bavarian Magi (IBM -see? SEE?) and has been perpetrated by their descendant cabals since then.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

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ESA readies Rosetta for next year's comet touchdown

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Forget Bruce Willis

Barrel-size? Sounds perfect for fitting in Jebediah, Bill & Bob.

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'I shot the sheriff': Turnbull asked for NBN Co board scalps

Wombling_Free

Weekly reports eh? Oh yeah, that'll fix things and make everything ticketyboo.

It usually takes, oh, what 4 days to write a report like that?

Line up for the GRAVY boys!

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'Catastrophic failure' of 3D-printed gun in Oz Police test

Wombling_Free
FAIL

Re: (Streisland Effect && Do NOT press ME!) {GOTO FAIL;}

Yeah, NSW finest are worried they're going to be undercut by skriptkiddies.

Did I imply that NSW P'lce Farce might be slightly inundated with criminals already, and be possibly a source of many of the actual real guns on our streets? I may have....

Also, BAN SUPERMARKETS and HARDWARE! You can kill people with stuff from them!

AUSTFAILIA - YOU'RE STANDING IT IN.

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3D printed gun plans pulled after US State Department objects

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Sure, you could take this onto a plane.

I'd like to see you try to take the AMMUNITION for it onto a plane though.

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FTTN cabinet survives Kiwi car crash

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Don't feed the trolls.

Come on Reg, that's Rule 1 of Internets isn't it?

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS.

DON"T FEED SMARMY GITS.

DON'T FEED MALCOLM TURNBULL.

Bloody hell, it's bad enough living this armpit of a nation without encouraging the Bogan's Hero to keep up with his rabid slather. Malcolm Turnbull makes Arnold Rimmer look like a pretty nice guy.

Do you fail to understand that swuts like Turnbull have NO INTENTION of ever providing even FTTN (of course their mansions will have FTTFB - Fiber To The Fucking Bathroom) as once they get in power the plan will be subject to review, after review, after review, after inquiry, after review, after review, after inquiry, all in the name of 'FISCAL MANAGEMENT', with the reviews being outsourced to OH MY GUESS WHAT? Their brother-in-law's Fiscal Management Consultancy firm based in Fucking Bermuda.

Have a look at the state of NSW with Fatty O'Barrel in power - management consultants are making a mint, while nothing much happens. 43billion spent on infraftructure - yeah, a few compactuses (compacti?) to hold all the FUCKING REVIEWS. We are up to meta-level 4 for the reviews on the NW rail link, something that was mooted in 19-fucking-28!

Chairman of the review committee (pig-trough) is Nick Greiner, Liberal premier in the 1980's. Another failure, but bugger the gravy-train, he's swimming in the lido-deck gravy-pool of the MV.Gravyboat, the world's largest ocean liner - MADE OF GRAVY!

Most expensive nation on planet? check. Most corrupt nation on planet? check. Most likely nation to end up on the B-ark? checkity-check-check-check!

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Australian Bureau of Statistics denies hacking report

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

A login attempt is not a hack according to Australian Bureau of Lies, Damn Lies & Statistics.

In other news, ABS reports indicate that 267% of Australians are in fact orangutans called 'Denise' and 9*squirrel/artichoke3% of them live in Ulladulla.

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Oz sports discovers IPTV, just a little

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Re: The (fast) Internet is dead, long live the (slow) Internet

Mate, if you are getting 25-50mbps you must be livin' next door to Tony.

Bugger the TV, try doing Architecture over the arsehat system we currently have - we only need to have real-time access to 10GB+ databases from laptops on building sites - doesn't matter what your mates have dreamed up, tech experts that Tony & Malcolm so obviously are, but it bet it leaves Austfailia FAR behind the rest of the civilized world when it comes to BIM!

Don't know the acronyms? Don't understand the applications or the needs? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND.

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Oz broadband speeds collapsed in 2012

Wombling_Free
FAIL

Geez louise...

Maybe a high-speed FTTP solution might fix things?

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

MAYTE!

dere's moor minrals out dere ta be dug mayte.

Gotta keep me boss in dere tax-free jets and mansions and horse studs!

givvus another beer!

Austfailia, you're standing in it.

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Turnbull 'flat out' seeking NBN killer blow

Wombling_Free
Trollface

We don't call this place AUSTFAILIA for nothing you know....

Hi, Welcome to Austfailia maaaaaaaayte... just hilp yersilf ter ar BEWT dirt an minrals.

Darn wuury bart tem f'in smart arse whiners wif dere NBN, we's gunna shoot dat in nar nuts win we git in.

F'in red-head bitch runnin da playce, maaaaayte wis gunna git rid a her tooos.

BEWDY, a proppa cuntry for BLOKES whos loves BEER, FUDDY, ROOTING, SHOOTIN, an DIGGIN STARF UPS.

Nunna dem smart-arse-pooftas roun' ere.

BEWDY.

Hopes yers dogs are root'n good.

TONE. XXXX

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Australian Feds charge 17-year-old 'Anon' with four crimes

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

Scale?

I think you get 20 years for murder. Sorry to the hardliners above me, but no, he did not commit anything near as bad as murder.

Defacing a website? GET OVER IT.

As Billy Bragg said: "This isn't a court of justice, son, this is a court of law"

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Storage glitch sends Curiosity into safe mode

Wombling_Free
Trollface

Re: Hang in there littly buddy...................

It's fine, they just got a message back from it:

"INSERT BOOT FLOPPY AND PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE."

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Australian Bureau of Meteorology apps to map future rain

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

The Austfailian Govmint. Leading the world in FAIL technology.

Sharemarket, housing prices, the fortunes of mining magnates and career criminals rose sharply today after the government announced wide-ranging plans to privatize all aspects of the public service including the Bureau of Meteorology, the Austfailian Defence Farce, the Bureau of Farmin', Minin' Shootin', Drinkin', Bettin', Fuckin', Rootin' & Circle-Workers, the Department of Jingoism & Sports Sponsorship and the Upper and Lower Houses. Speaking today from COKEanberra, Prime Minister T. Abbott said while boarding his private jet bound for the traditional Austfailian protectorate of Majorca "This is a great day for all APPLEustfailians. From today, this glorious NISSANation will finally have the rulers it has always deserved - ultra-wealthy foreigners. So long, SUCKERS!"

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Stargazers spot first-ever planet forming in dusty disc

Wombling_Free
Pint

Re: Aussie names

90-mile Beach

Blue Mountains

Shelly Beach

Boat Harbour (no, really)

Yep, the Smart Country alright.

Also: I thought Fosters was 'strayn for 'Camel Piss'. Fosters exists only to make people drink VB; "nah, mate, I'd rather drink VB." XXXX is entirely palatable, favorably compared to a mid-range Budweiser.

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Dalek designer Ray Cusick passes away aged 84

Wombling_Free
Pint

<WE ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS>

They were.

They still are.

Thank you Mr. Cusick for a childhood full of proper scary things.

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Drone quadracopters throw and catch inverted pendulum

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Aaaand a ban on publicly available quadcopters...

and some jail time for anyone found flying one, or publishing open source plans....

in 3...

2...

1...

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Microsoft: Office 2013 license is for just one PC, FOREVER

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Replace CPU, replace HDD, replace GFX, keep mouse.

It's still the same computer, MS. Yes, I am prepared to take it to court.

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Sexual harassment case costs Oracle $AUD18,000

Wombling_Free
Unhappy

$18,000

Wow, I bet Oracle shareholders are leaving in droves.

$18,000 is a slap on the wrist, you can't even buy a really crap car for that in Austfailia. The plaintiff needs better lawyers; the famed harassment case at Myers walked away with several 100K for about 1 or 2 verbal incidents!

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Firm moves to trademark 'Python' name out from under the language

Wombling_Free
Happy

Great publicity!

Veber? Aren't you the firm that tried to trademark "Python"?

Yeah, we won't be doing business with you; you're too much of a risk.

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Official: America now a nation of broadband whingers

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

"nationalised telcomms infrastructure"

Um, why? Because it worked so well for Australia? The only thing worse is when they go and denationalise it again, making the fustercluck even worse.

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New Zealand court hands out second peppercorn downloading penalty

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

Bloody slow download!

TWO SONGS?

So either their download speeds are appalling, or the 'three strikes' emails can be sent 10ms apart, and have no legal requirement for a read receipt? "My anti-spam blocked the email, m'lud"

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NABERS ... every server needs good NABERS

Wombling_Free
FAIL

So does this mean....

Your data center must now be covered in brick veneer, fill the whole site apart from 40cm strips of weeds on the sides, have 5 bedrooms per human occupant, use only colours that include the word 'beige', have no eaves whatsoever, must have at least 10kW of airconditioning per human occupant (passive heating/cooling? nah, mate, that doesn't work down 'ere) , if built within 5km of trees must have no timber in construction*, must cut down all trees within 40m*, must have room for at least 15 large SUVs along the street front, must use native vegetation & trees (thus conflicting with the one about having no trees), and must have heavy curtains over all windows**.

* - due to recent changes in legislation 'Construction in Bushfire Prone Areas' ie, THE WHOLE FUCKING CONTINENT.

** - yes, that's a NABERS requirement, pretty much all of them are, actually.

Registered Architect (a REAL one)

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Space station 'naut supplies Reg with overhead snap of Vulture Central

Wombling_Free
Coat

Is it just me?

Or does anyone else get the theme from 'Eastenders' in their head?

Yes, UKTV guide in the pocket, thats mine.

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Australia joins hunt for corporate tax dodgers

Wombling_Free
Flame

Why only foreigners?

Oh, thats right, all Aussies are good law-abiding citizens who are sparkly clean, don't do any of that naughty corruption & graft, and always pay their just and fair taxes.

Like all of our mining & media fatties (why are our rich always so GODDAMN FAT? Do they revel in the stereotype or something?) who are all such good corporate citizens. *cough* Packer *cough* Rhinehardt *cough* Obeid

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US diplomat: If EU allows 'right to be forgotten' ... it might spark TRADE WAR

Wombling_Free
Megaphone

Would 6pm be a good kick-off time for you?

Tough words, yankees.

Come at us, we'll have you.

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Boffins propose satnav tracking for 'KILLER KOALAS'

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Further dangerous Australian fauna

The dry country / scrubland sub-species - LEAP bears. Attracted to taller mammals looking UP to guard against drop bears.

Narguns. Actually THE Nargun, there is only one. Currently living in the Hunter Valler, it just eats you. Looks like a boulder during the day. Said to be 'watching the stars wheel' so it's either a relative of Cthulu, or is going to take cthulu down. I'm betting on the Nargun. You should always rub some earth on you out in the bush because it fools the Nargun into thinking you are part of the earth. VERY good advice. Vegemite behind the ears will also work.

Aquatic Funnel Web Spiders. Think you're safe in the pool? Think that spider on the bottom is dead because it's been there two weeks and hasn't moved? You've just met the AQUATIC Funnel Web Spider. They like to go for a swim when it gets hot, and have to wait for a human to climb up to get back out. Since a Funnel Web Spider's default mood is 'PISSED OFF AT ENTIRE UNIVERSE' this is not a good thing.

Some of the above is BS, by the way, but NOT all of it! The spider bit is true, as is using dirt to scare away Narguns.

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Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

Wombling_Free
Alert

Yikes.

No, I am Not A Laywer.

Under Australian law - you're screwed. Get caught with CP and they assume you're guilty; your trial is pretty much a formality & sentencing (serious goal time, and THEN permanent CP register - good luck living more than 5km from children...). If it's on your drive, it's yours. You get to try to prove it isn't - the courts don't seem to need prove you guilty. Nasty, and I'm surprised it hasn't been used more often against politicians etc, but maybe we'll see a rise in this sort of trap soon.

Can a HDD be recovered after the platters have been hammered and blow-torched?

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RAT-flingers target human right activists in watering-hole attack

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Watering hole attack?

Bloody hell, now they're attacking our beer. THIS MEANS WAR!

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Microsoft's ARM blunder: 7 reasons why Windows RT was DOA

Wombling_Free
Facepalm

How many people, so much money spent...

and they got it so horribly wrong.

Not even governments fuck up that bad.

I would have told them it was a FAIL for only 1% they paid their top marketing consultants, and I'd still be quite well off from the income.

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Security audit finds dev OUTSOURCED his JOB to China to goof off at work

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

"Bob"? Bit of an odd name...

It wasn't Robert Oliver Francis Howard by any chance was it?

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Anger grows over the death of Aaron Swartz

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Re: RIP Aaron

Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time; almost before the current web, actually.

Fitting words & sentiment.

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Wombling_Free
Pint

Many changes need to be brought on.

"Still, suicide is an incredibly selfish act that leaves a lot of family and friends utterly bereft."

Well, maybe. For some it's a form of defiance. For others, release; you really haven't experienced pain until you've tried severe chronic depression. I strongly suggest NOT trying it , by the way. It's amusing to have preachers try to scare you with stories of hell - physical pain? That'd be a relief, at least you can point to where it hurts.

As for bringing on many changes - maybe this suicide will. It would be nice if it did.

I fear things will get a lot, LOT worse before it gets better. Big Gov views the Internet as Pandora's Box, and most probably wish DARPA had kept it top top secret.

I'd like an icon with a seedling on it, but will resort to that other symbol of life finding a way - beer.

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Sculpted 66-pound jubs survive lightning blast, 26ft drop

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Re: Is it wrong...

Yes, because it happened in Darwin which means it is drunken delusional bullshit.

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John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

Wombling_Free

Re: sticking a tampon up his nose to pretend to be a Guatemalan trinket salesman

I prefer a ferret myself.

Though how it got there I don't know; now it's there it hurts like hell and it radically alters my sense of smell.

I don't think there is an icon even remotely relevant to this.

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Wombling_Free
Happy

Re: Waste of Time

Nutters like this...

I think they are referred to as 'lightning rods'.

Look for interesting little stories from the other side of the world involving Belgians with quiet online trading algorithms.

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Wombling_Free
Trollface

Why use a doctored version?

"I wonder if any of these laptops had a doctored version of McAfee antivirus so that the users would think they were protected."

Why use a doctored version? I thought the standard version of McAfee led users to believe they were protected - mostly from McAfee's own woeful 'upgrades' admittedly.

And why are you all cowering behind AC? Are you scared of John? Is he some uber-cyber-god who can make electricity leap from your wireless mouse and kill you?

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Bob Dylan's new album is 'Copyright Extension Collection'

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

only 100 copies?

Well, it IS Bob Dylan, there must only be about 100 people left who care about the aging whiner.

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Making MACH 1: Can we build a cranial computer today?

Wombling_Free
Devil

Re: Coat in advance

and you wouldn't be able to see the colour red or turn left between 15th March and 9th July.

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Wombling_Free
Pint

Re: Try Peter F Hamilton

I love the ideas in his books, but his female characters give cardboard cutouts a bad name *cough* Ione Saldana *cough*, and his endings tend to be non sequiturs; massive lumps of deus ex machina or 'if-it-wasn't-for-you-meddling-earthmen-we-would-have-got-away-with-it'.

Wormhole railways are totally bonkers and the occasional highly detailed descriptions of locomotives make me wonder if the young Peter was a trainspotter, or still is.

I'm happy I discovered Iain M. Banks after Hamilton; the Culture series utterly nails the sheer power a post-singularity civilization could wield, and the utterly decadent lifestyle one could have within such a society.

Beer, because in the Culture you could wake up one morning and decide to spend 200 years becoming a master brewer, simply because you could.

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Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Re: Can't be.

My Kindle does, especially as it's the use-anywhere 3G model.

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Wombling_Free

One thing ST:TNG got right

The complete ubiquity of tablets.

They even called them PADDs. According to the STTNG tech manual, you could fly a starship with one, which sounds a whole lot like Remote Desktop. The description of the 'Tricorder' is also very similar to a modern tablet, as it was communications device, sensor, camera and frequently a small bomb if you shorted out it's battery.

The memory sticks were also just that - memory sticks, though I think their storage capacity which was considered large in the late 80's (Petabytes I think) will be normal for a USB5 thumbdrive of 2019.

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Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Permutation City

Quite a creepy short (in modern terms) novel of the old-school sci-fi.

Doesn't have much beyond what we have now except neuron-perfect digital copies of human brains, and some mucking around with philosophical concept of what data (and consciousness) actually IS.

Recommended. Creepy as all heck, but definitely recommended.

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Lego quad-copter: your ultimate drone nightmare

Wombling_Free
Happy

Dear Lego factory.

Please make this as a kit before next Christmas.

Please

Please

Please

Here, have my wallet, just take it!

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UK cops: How we sniffed out convicted AnonOps admin 'Nerdo'

Wombling_Free

Re: Whom does the law serve?

"This isn't a court of justice, son, this is a court of law"

'Rotting on remand' - Billy Bragg

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Wombling_Free

Re: Pics?

Yes, she was lovely! Wonderful cook too if my memory serves me.

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