* Posts by Wombling_Free

460 posts • joined 15 Sep 2011

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Rodent rescue reckoned as remedy for cursor crisis cruelling BYOD

Wombling_Free

Well, if its targeted at enterprise users...

Those mice will be a bargain at $799 US each.

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Almost EVERY SAP install hackable, researchers say

Wombling_Free

and that's how we do it in Austfailia

I happen to know a very large retailer here runs entirely on SAP.

And as far as I can tell, hasn't patched anything since, oh.... 2009? Maybe? When did Windows XP SP1 come out? well, whenever. Since then - thats the last update that shows up in the syslogs.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Hubble hits 25th anniversary IN SPAAACE – time for telescope to come home

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Who really believes the mirror tale anymore?

The Hubble's mirror was the 11th made. You're really telling me that Lockheed (hmmm, that name rings a bell) built 10 mirrors then screwed up the 11th? Or did the NSA tell Lockheed "just muck it up a little bit, we don't want people to figure out how powerful Keyholes 1 to 10 really are. Those astro-boffin dome-heads won't notice" Occam's razor - sudden error on critical spacecraft component or deliberate mistake? This doesn't take a huge conspiracy either, just a few key people at LH & NSA.

Secondly: "parts of the massive instrument will survive the trip back through Earth's atmosphere and could fall on populated areas" Oh, yeah sure. The Columbia broke up and scattered itself over some very heavily populated areas, and no-one was killed or injured. Plenty of spacecraft have come down over populated areas (there's even a chunk of Soviet spacecraft that landed on Sydney in the Powerhouse Museum) and there is not a single case of anyone being hit. The chances of damage are astronomically (hah!) low. However the chances of someone getting their hands on some of the kit from a Keyhole Spy Satelite? Ah, well, of course THAT is the real problem isn't it?

It is so bloody sad that we have pretty much had single-figure numbers of actually useful space-science telescopes, while there are hundreds of warmongering spy sats of far greater power up there, at hundreds of times the cost, while science has to beg and plead for the tiniest scrap of funding.

Little wonder The Culture aren't interested in Contacting us, we would ruin the party. We really don't deserve to survive as a species. (I might have been reading some Stephen Baxter lately, yes)

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Makerbot axes 'scores of staff' – 3D printing just doesn't pay the bills

Wombling_Free

Re: F**k them and the horse they rode in on

Totally agree! After looking at a lot of 3DPs I settled on the FF Creator Pro too - its very well made, totally open source.

I also think the Makerbot thought the Singularity had already come, the Culture had got in Contact at last and everyone wanted a 3D Printer.

Nope. 3D Printing is still at about the same level as aircraft in 1911 - strictly for hobbyists with cash.

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Dallas Buyers Club doubles down on Oz Torrenters

Wombling_Free

Wait a moment...

How are 50% of Austfailians going to download a film?

It would take years on a 28.8k modem wouldn't it?

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Wombling_Free

Re: Priacy

metadata. You should retain and delete your metadata.

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'Arkansas cops tried to hack me with malware-ridden hard drive'

Wombling_Free

Occams razor

Never assume malice when the event can be explained by stupidity.

It was a hard drive from a police station after all.

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Nuclear fusion simulator among boffinry tools picked for monster Summit supercomputer

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Cray are still around?

Presumably their computers now look like hipster converted warehouse studio apartments.

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NASA probe sent to faraway planet finds DWARF world instead: Pics

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Here's hoping

That the fancy telescope isn't based on a model used on spy satelites, or we'll have the Hubble "Ooops we made it wrong, derp" all over again.

Can't have those pesky astronomers being able to work out the imaging power of our spy satellites now, can we?

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Wombling_Free
Boffin

Headlines

HUMAN DNA FOUND ON PLUTO !!!!one!!!!eleventy!!!!

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Revealed: The AMAZING technology behind Apple's $1299 Retina MacBooks – a lot of glue

Wombling_Free

Simple answer

Don't be stupid enough to buy an Apple.

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Comet 67P found to be COMPLETELY UNATTRACTIVE

Wombling_Free
Boffin

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

Hopefully the slightly more jovial ESA have made Philae's radio "Hello, I'm here" beacon a looping recording of 'I'm still alive' sung by GLADoS from Portal.

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NO, Joe Hockey, a 'Netflix tax' wouldn't raise 'billions'

Wombling_Free

Where Hockey gets his metadata

Most likely from the anti-pirate brigade, who claim that Austfailians download eleventytrazillion dollars worth of films each day.

Quite how we download as much as they claim is beyond me, its not like we all have the NBN or something.

Also, Yes Minister looks like a serious documentary compared to the tuckfards who run this shothile.

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Jawbone Up4 tapcash wristjob: Get BONKING with the latest sweaty hipster toy

Wombling_Free

Is it too much too hope?

For a piece of hardware from Jawbone that isn't totally crap?

I was given an UP2, which got sent back 3 times due to button falling off.

The fourth time the button fell off I just put it in a drawer and left it there.

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Forget viruses: Evil USB drive 'fries laptops with a power surge'

Wombling_Free

I don't think you need a circuit diagram for that.

I'm currently (haha geddit?) building a Nixie clock, and that little demon doesn't look terribly difficult to recreate. It doesn't even need a USB interface chip, it would just get in the way.

As for plugging in unknown USB sticks, that's what my work desktop is for. I'm sure our my employer's AV software will deal with it. It does keep warning me that the last AV update was in 2009 (I wish I was joking) but I am sure our outsourced IT dept is hitting all their KPIs.

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HAPPY 20th Birthday MICROSOFT BOB

Wombling_Free

Re: How to be a hipster part 47

No, I won't. WordArt is indefensible.

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Wombling_Free

How to be a hipster part 47

You must hate Comic Sans. It is a hipster rule.

It is a FONT for Jove's sake; it's not exactly a threat to civilization as we know it.

Unless you consider books or reading a threat.

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Botched NBN installs leave folks with no internet, or recourse

Wombling_Free

Give up now; sell ENTIRE NATION to Russia / China / venture capitalist

No, really, this country is a freaking joke. We cannot do a SINGLE THING right.

I suggest giving up now, cut our losses, sell the entire nation as an open cut mine, with the proceeds going to the current government and their donors, trust funds and offshore accounts.

The population is probably worth a few hundred each as indentured labour or something, but don't expect too much as the majority of them voted the current government in; they clearly don't have much between the ears. On the positive side they don't seem to notice when they are fed on sh1t3 so they are cheap to feed.

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Frontier promises it won't 'dumb down' Elite: Dangerous for Xbox

Wombling_Free

El Reg should be proud

since there is now a 'Vulture' flyable ship.

Pretty good ship too. Now we just need El Reg logos for it...

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Australia threatens to pull buckets of astronomy funding

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

If Australians needed science

then why is there the Bible? ANSWER ME THAT ELITIST SCIENCE SMARTY-PANTS

- actual quote from Tony 'RedBudgieSmugglers' Abbott.

EYES FRONT OR YOU'RE NEXT.

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'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

Wombling_Free
Trollface

Transfer tennis

I once worked in a small office - about 6 of us in a large studio. We had a game - Transfer Tennis. Easy to play. You transfer the call to the next person - +1 point. Each time you get it back, you increase your points gained, eg, second time, +2; third, +3. If you get hung up on, thats -5. Each swear word from the caller is +1 (must be on speakerphone to get this) and +5 for death threats.

It would go like this:

<ring>

Me: Good morning this is blah blah blah, etc...

India: Yes very good morning to you too sir we have detected a fault with your...

Me: Ah, is this IT related? I'll transfer you to IT.

2nd Player: Hello, etc (longer and more complex greetings are good form)

India: Yes it is a very fine morning indeed sir could I just get you to turn on...

2nd Player: Ah, you're after IT? Sorry, this is finance, we use abacusses. I'll pass you to IT...

etc. When it gets back to you, you could try a silly voice (Indian accent: Oh, hello? You are being transferred too? What a coincidence! Please hold!) or just use the same voice, pretend to be a different division - if challenged, say 'Oh you must mean Roger, he sounds just like me.'

Scores in the teens are considered legendary and you will receive fame and your colleagues ovation forever.

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BOFFINS: Oxygen-free, methane-based ALIENS may EXIST on icy SATURN moon Titan

Wombling_Free

If this follows the plot from 'Titan' by Stephen Baxter

we all have only about 11 years to live.

One of the highlights to look forward to are carving statues of oneself out of ones own sh1t using ones teeth.

Oh, we've grounded the shuttles already? Just the statues then, not the sweet oblivion of a Chinese asteroid to the Atlantic.

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NASA 'nauts complete another EPIC SPACEWALK to route cables around ISS

Wombling_Free

Cables? Piping?

Or very secure straps to the Russian modules....

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BOFH: The ONE-NINE uptime solution

Wombling_Free

Uncanny

Or you happen to work for a certain large retailer.

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MELTDOWN: Samsung, Sony not-so-smart TVs go titsup for TWO days

Wombling_Free

Any Samsung fail counts as a win

if it means their bloody awful software isn't running.

I do note that my Chromecast, plugged into my Samsung TV, is working perfectly.

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'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

Wombling_Free
Holmes

just the single reference

Did you not notice that Bob Howard's full name is Bob Oliver Francis Howard?

I also have a theory that Charlie Stross and aManFromMars share the same quantum waveform.

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Australia's Akamai ranking has nothing to do with the NBN

Wombling_Free

But how is Big Tony going to collect our metadata?

If we can't send the metadata, they can't collect the metadata.

If the governmonkeys want my metas, they can bloody well up the speeds so I can send it to them.

Maybe we'll all have to mail it in via AusPist.

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Telstra copper at crisis point, endangers NBN, says union

Wombling_Free

Re: All Telstra's fault

"to let it rot then find some way of getting paid to fix it. Looks to me like they've managed to do that quite nicely, and even get paid twice for it..."

should read

"to let it rot then find some way of getting paid. Looks to me like they've...."

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Wombling_Free

Telstrash

Well, some of the faults were self-inflicted: twice in 2014 Telstra crews cleaned out our local junction pit with a 75mm firehose - directly connected to the mains hydrant in our street. A water jet strong enough to knock you over being directed into the patch frame. Stay classy, Telstra.

Oh, and when I lived in a flat in Kirribilli that dated to the 1890's we had bloody awful wiring, both electrical and phone. A Telstra tech came round to address our complaints of no phone, and when we did have a phone we seemed to share the line with most of our neighbours. I watched as he stripped down the patch frame (which was more oxide than frame - it crumbled in his hands) and exposed the wiring beneath - which was copper RODS - not wires. Wrapped in what was apparently horse-hair & tar. Which, he told me, was quite common in the area.

Austfailia; you're standing in it.

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Samsung gets KINKY with new Galaxy in 50 SHADES OF GREY

Wombling_Free

It's a Samsung

So it's more like GALAXY FORKED. As in 'totally FORKED'. As in 'anything Samsung makes is FORKED'.

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Tiger Moth: Old school flying without all those pesky flaps, brakes and instruments

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

Blue above, blue below

I've done two flights in a Tiger Moth; one aerobatic flight over the Pacific Ocean off the Gold Coast, Queensland; and one flight where I had the controls for 20 mins over the hinterland west of Coolangatta.

Love it; love it; love it. The Tiger is I think my favorite aircraft ever - they are the absolute spirit of flying.

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THREE vans and FIVE people: that's what Telstra needs to fix one fault

Wombling_Free

The top photo is wrong

Thats what your connection box looks like AFTER Telstra have "fixed" it.

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Spent the weekend watching Game of Thrones? You're a FAT LONELY SADDO

Wombling_Free

Re: Could you perhaps tone down your laddish editorial? This isn't RALPH

Two down votes already? Wow! Aren't 'saddos' funny, eh?

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Wombling_Free
IT Angle

Could you perhaps tone down your laddish editorial? This isn't RALPH

Hi Reg editors & writers,

Do you think that describing people people with depression as 'lazy saddos' is either good journalism or even constructive in any way? Perhaps you think it is 'funny'.

If you personally have suffered or know someone who has suffered depression then you will know that it is not a fun disease, nor is something anyone chooses to have; it is a life-threatening and devastating condition, one that continues to endure a stigma of disbelief & doubt due to articles such as the one above.

That people who suffer from depression binge-watch TV is hardly surprising, and to be honest hardly relevant on a site that purports to be relevant to the IT industry. 20 years ago this research would have found that depression sufferers tend to loose themselves in books or VHS videos, 40 years ago books or comics, 80 years ago books - you get the picture - all of which are of little relevance to what The Register purports to focus on.

At least these days there are medications which can help; but unfortunately the most common side-effect of these compounds is significant weight-gain, due to the way neurotransmitters also affect our digestive metabolism.

Given a choice of being either 'over-weight' by current society's rather harsh standards, or being so depressed that every morning is a struggle, every day a chore and every hour of the day you fend off thoughts of suicide - which would you choose?

A bit of escapism is hardly a bad thing - binge-watching doesn't cause or trigger depression, and just by turning off the TV the depression isn't going to magically go away, and no, you can't THINK yourself out of it. Binge-watching is just another symptom; and another indicator that our current lifestyle and society (and I'm making no east/west distinction here) is stressful to the point that a large percent of the population is beginning to suffer from these illnesses.

Maybe a bit of support, or some real journalism about the extent, causes and effects of depression in the IT industry would be a good idea.

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Researcher says Aussie spooks help code Five Eyes mega malware

Wombling_Free
FAIL

It can't be Austfailian

Was it coded in coal dust?

Was it distributed by LNG carrier?

Did it cost about 47 times the projected budget?

Was it even delivered at all?

Was it very, very slow?

Did it even work?

Did it spend any time on Nauru?

If the answer to any of these questions is NO then it cannot have been Austfailian!

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Australia tries to ban crypto research – by ACCIDENT

Wombling_Free
FAIL

Usual Guvmint idiocy

I mean, why not just put "kick us, we are idiots" on our flag?

How are we meant to write the world's malware if we can't use encryption?

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PlayStation-processor-powered plutonium probe prepares Pluto pics

Wombling_Free

They don't make them like they used to.

And sadly, given our current attitudes, they probably won't ever again.

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Elite: Dangerous 'billionaire' gamers are being 'antisocial', moan players

Wombling_Free

my cobra makes a whining noise

Oh, wait. I just left the Elite:Dangerous forum window open.

I've never heard such a pack of over entitled whining brats as the E:D forums; but then again its the first MMO forum I've been a member of.

Frontier have done a wonderful job, and took a well publicized break over xmas - they did launch on the 16/12/14 after all.

It is a shame to see the Reg reporting only the forum trolls; those of us in the alpha/beta phase diligently reported bugs; hey it still has some, what doesn't? The can't connect failures are likely due to their apps on their PCs, not ED. ED lime any network app is sensitive to the actions of other apps - for instance I found that ED and the Citrix receiver don't get along very well. Close Citrix and my issues vanished.

I also suspect most of the glitches are peoples attempts to cheat / hack / crack ED for their own gain, then cry like babies when they corrupt their profile.

Disclaimer - Alpha supporter. Missed kick starter. Mature adult who has spent too much time over xmas break having hours of trouble free, glitch free fun in my Cobra MK3.

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Renault Captur: Nobody who knows about cars will buy this

Wombling_Free

drive like a Christian? eh?

Ayrton Senna was devout Catholic, and when once asked how he got around corners so well answered: "Jesus is there pointing to the apex for me"

No idea if that's true or not, but as a certified agnostic I find that to be quite a beautiful image.

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How much for a wrist job? A tenner normally, but for this one, over $30k

Wombling_Free

We aren't going to make it, are we?

We are doomed as a species. The universe belongs to nematode worms.

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So - you thought you knew all about the INSTANT COFFEE DUNES of TITAN?

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

First astronaut on Titan

Comradeski, I'm just going outside for a smoke.

BANG.

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Telstra's NBN boondoggle nearly set in stone: reports

Wombling_Free
FAIL

In other news...

The Austfailian Governmunt unveils a new Intertubes-to-the-hovel scheme agreed personally with Fox, the big movie studios and other copyright owners called 'Damper-Net'. The cheap infrastructure, conservatively quoted by Telstra to be worth $23beelion Austfailian pesetos is based on CSIRO-developed fibre infrastructure, invented by DNA testing of the unique fibres harvested from the unique Austfailian animal known as the 'sheep' or ('girlfriend' in some parts) combined with the latest results of the spectacular Austfailian mining industry - the steel can.

Also...

Telstra washes out telecoms pit in suburban Sydney with a FIREHOSE for the third time this year. Yes, washing out a switch frame, with WATER. If I wasn't in traffic and thus liable to be thrown in jail for using digital technology while moving I would have been able to provide pics.

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'Regin': The 'New Stuxnet' spook-grade SOFTWARE WEAPON described

Wombling_Free

Put the evidence together

it targets hospitality, health, airlines - this was a country looking for a person/s,

USA, remnant software looking for Saddam, then for Bin Laden, then for whoever else is on the watch list.

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Wombling_Free

When I drive on twisty mountain roads

for maximum safety and ethics, I drive a bulldozer. Especially in tunnels.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Wombling_Free

Austfailian media report is fail.

I heard this on the morning radio news in the car - and it was on the ABC, not one of the shite paid-for-comment commercial stations:

Austfailian Government Minister all a-bluster about this DIRTY PERVY HACKING by those HORRID RUSSIANS.

uh, right.

I did not know entering a search in Google now qualifies as 'hacking' in Austfailia; I guess it's just another one of those ways they will round up all the dissidents before the next "election".

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

Wombling_Free

Next time, Gadget, next time!

If civilization doesn't collapse before we get a next time, can I make the following suggestions as a non-rocket scientist, but a keen observer of history:

1. Send two craft. It worked for Voyager, Pioneer, Viking, Mars Rovers etc. If one fails, you've got a second attempt. It's probably not even twice the price!

2. Redundancy. Did no-one think the comet might have the density of merange, and that pressure-sensitive feet might not work? Two independent thrusters - one a backup? (see above) Maybe a laser rangefinder for landing?

Good job though, at least we go something back. If the EU could maybe trade in a couple of Eurofighters the ESA could send another 4 probes or so...

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Amnesia: A mad Aussie dash through history, hacking and the CIA

Wombling_Free

Maintain the rage.

All conspiracy theories here are plausible. The Governor General acted without the Queen's Consent, something he was required to gain before sacking PM Gough Whitlam.

The next election was a landslide to the Lib/Nats, despite massive public opinion in favour of Labor.

As we say down here: "Vote early; vote often" - our ballot system is pretty easy to rort if you have good organisation...

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Wombling_Free

5,000+ people show themselves to be slightly illiterate...

Including the Reg it seems.

The newsletter did not state that offline was being removed.

It stated, quite clearly, that offline mode (it's still there!) is required to connect 'from time to time'. I think this can be taken in a positive light, as there are *plenty* of examples of software that needs to connect 'from time to time' for all sorts of reasons.

Frontier have only modeled the entire Galaxy - probably a bit of a stretch to fit that in 4GB of RAM at 32bits, really!

I for one can't wait - I've been looking forward to this day for about 28 years...

Declaration of Conflict of Interest: Alpha Backer, who has spent way too much time of late carving up asteroids in my Hauler, about to upgrade to Cobra to do some heavier trade runs. I want to try to get a Clipper before the next wipe! Right on, Commanders!

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Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

Wombling_Free
WTF?

Logo on the back I can understand...

..it's free advertising after all.

Why the logo on the front though? Do people regularly forget what phone they have, and wonder why their iOS apps aren't on it? Do they have to sift through a pile of phones to find the right one? "I'm pretty sure the Microsoft one was ringing, I think I left it under the Nokia, but I'll have to move the Blackberry and the Erriccssonn before I can move the Apple to get to the Sony that's covering the Microsoft"

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Australia's going to need a standalone metadata retention bureau

Wombling_Free

Re: I for one will be creating as much metadata as possible

I think a small Google Apps script could do a good job of that.

Might be a nice way to send the incumbent bunch of oxygen thieves broke...

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