* Posts by Wombling_Free

420 posts • joined 15 Sep 2011

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So - you thought you knew all about the INSTANT COFFEE DUNES of TITAN?

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

First astronaut on Titan

Comradeski, I'm just going outside for a smoke.

BANG.

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Telstra's NBN boondoggle nearly set in stone: reports

Wombling_Free
FAIL

In other news...

The Austfailian Governmunt unveils a new Intertubes-to-the-hovel scheme agreed personally with Fox, the big movie studios and other copyright owners called 'Damper-Net'. The cheap infrastructure, conservatively quoted by Telstra to be worth $23beelion Austfailian pesetos is based on CSIRO-developed fibre infrastructure, invented by DNA testing of the unique fibres harvested from the unique Austfailian animal known as the 'sheep' or ('girlfriend' in some parts) combined with the latest results of the spectacular Austfailian mining industry - the steel can.

Also...

Telstra washes out telecoms pit in suburban Sydney with a FIREHOSE for the third time this year. Yes, washing out a switch frame, with WATER. If I wasn't in traffic and thus liable to be thrown in jail for using digital technology while moving I would have been able to provide pics.

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'Regin': The 'New Stuxnet' spook-grade SOFTWARE WEAPON described

Wombling_Free

Put the evidence together

it targets hospitality, health, airlines - this was a country looking for a person/s,

USA, remnant software looking for Saddam, then for Bin Laden, then for whoever else is on the watch list.

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Wombling_Free

When I drive on twisty mountain roads

for maximum safety and ethics, I drive a bulldozer. Especially in tunnels.

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Wombling_Free

Austfailian media report is fail.

I heard this on the morning radio news in the car - and it was on the ABC, not one of the shite paid-for-comment commercial stations:

Austfailian Government Minister all a-bluster about this DIRTY PERVY HACKING by those HORRID RUSSIANS.

uh, right.

I did not know entering a search in Google now qualifies as 'hacking' in Austfailia; I guess it's just another one of those ways they will round up all the dissidents before the next "election".

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THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS

Wombling_Free

Next time, Gadget, next time!

If civilization doesn't collapse before we get a next time, can I make the following suggestions as a non-rocket scientist, but a keen observer of history:

1. Send two craft. It worked for Voyager, Pioneer, Viking, Mars Rovers etc. If one fails, you've got a second attempt. It's probably not even twice the price!

2. Redundancy. Did no-one think the comet might have the density of merange, and that pressure-sensitive feet might not work? Two independent thrusters - one a backup? (see above) Maybe a laser rangefinder for landing?

Good job though, at least we go something back. If the EU could maybe trade in a couple of Eurofighters the ESA could send another 4 probes or so...

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Amnesia: A mad Aussie dash through history, hacking and the CIA

Wombling_Free

Maintain the rage.

All conspiracy theories here are plausible. The Governor General acted without the Queen's Consent, something he was required to gain before sacking PM Gough Whitlam.

The next election was a landslide to the Lib/Nats, despite massive public opinion in favour of Labor.

As we say down here: "Vote early; vote often" - our ballot system is pretty easy to rort if you have good organisation...

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Wombling_Free

5,000+ people show themselves to be slightly illiterate...

Including the Reg it seems.

The newsletter did not state that offline was being removed.

It stated, quite clearly, that offline mode (it's still there!) is required to connect 'from time to time'. I think this can be taken in a positive light, as there are *plenty* of examples of software that needs to connect 'from time to time' for all sorts of reasons.

Frontier have only modeled the entire Galaxy - probably a bit of a stretch to fit that in 4GB of RAM at 32bits, really!

I for one can't wait - I've been looking forward to this day for about 28 years...

Declaration of Conflict of Interest: Alpha Backer, who has spent way too much time of late carving up asteroids in my Hauler, about to upgrade to Cobra to do some heavier trade runs. I want to try to get a Clipper before the next wipe! Right on, Commanders!

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Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

Wombling_Free
WTF?

Logo on the back I can understand...

..it's free advertising after all.

Why the logo on the front though? Do people regularly forget what phone they have, and wonder why their iOS apps aren't on it? Do they have to sift through a pile of phones to find the right one? "I'm pretty sure the Microsoft one was ringing, I think I left it under the Nokia, but I'll have to move the Blackberry and the Erriccssonn before I can move the Apple to get to the Sony that's covering the Microsoft"

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Australia's going to need a standalone metadata retention bureau

Wombling_Free

Re: I for one will be creating as much metadata as possible

I think a small Google Apps script could do a good job of that.

Might be a nice way to send the incumbent bunch of oxygen thieves broke...

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Wombling_Free

Re: @Thorne Realisation

Yes, a table-cloth full of shills for Clive 'all this is mine' Palmer and the Shooters & Nutjobs Fourth Reich Brigade.

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Wombling_Free
Trollface

Infinite cheap storage

I hereby submit my tender to the Fascist Overlord TuckFards that run this F...ine land, for the supply of an infinite metadata, meta-metadata, meta-meta-metadata and pr0n (for the backbenchers and Fred N.) storage site.

Fee: $25,000,000 single payment licence. That's right, pay once now, and never again, you can keep this cloud storage system as long as you want, put as much metadata / faked evidence against political enemies / kiddie-pr0n as the Government need into it. Guaranteed to store data forever, in TOTAL security.

One easy to remember address: /dev/null

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Panzura's cloudy gear hits others' WAN optimisation kit for six

Wombling_Free

The issue in the AEC world is that unlike big database, Desktop CAD/BIM applications are relying on PC-level hardware to do what normally takes server arrays. CAD/BIM software is really, really nasty with disk access - with thousands of little read-write-open-lock-close commands on every element within the main BIM database. The example given - 1.5MB is TINY - a 'standard' highrise residential tower can run to 2-3GB file size. The open-lock-close file access requests can number in the millions for a file this size.

Do a test. Download the trial version of Revit from Autodesk, start up Sysinternals ProcMon and run a trace of the file open command on the basic sample file. You will be astonished at the amount of file access faffing around the software does. But hey ho, everyones been busy developing spreadsheets and Flappy Bird clones and not paying much attention to a massive field that is only responsible for, like, cities.

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Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

Wombling_Free
Boffin

No, he was correct in saying 'fractionally' - as in referring to 'a small fraction' - in this case, OF COURSE the snowflake has to be every so slightly asymmetrical or you're going to get subtractive sono-quantum diffraction all over the place. I mean really, you may as well just use any copper instead of atomically pure mono-isotopic copper nano filaments!

Personally I wouldn't use a speaker number that is a power of two, you should always stick with 2039 or 2053, which are of course primes and thus won't give you any binary artefacts. 2048 speakers is going to end up sounding like a CD and we all know what THAT does to the subtle harmonics that reflect off the conductor's baton.

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Here's your chance to buy an ancient, working APPLE ONE

Wombling_Free

Was it from the South-south-east corner of the garage?

As all true Apple experts know the terrane in the south-south-east corner of the garage was superb that year, and the boards from that region are suffused with far fewer oxygenated copper micro-inclusions than the inferior specimens from the rest of the garage.

$7.65mil I reckon, could go higher if the wood mounts are vibration-free aged oak from Etruscan wine amphora racks.

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'Space bubbles' may have helped Taliban down 'copter in bloody Afghanistan battle

Wombling_Free

also...

Space bubbles? OK, so not 'brain clouds' then?

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Wombling_Free

Re: Hopefully this will be useful....

No, no, this time the 'freedom fighters' we are supplying weapons to really are the nice ones. They promised that they wouldn't say 'thanks for the training and bang-bang kit', only to turn on us as yet another bunch of nutters in a decades time. I think a solemn commitment to be nice is enough, after all they are very religious, and you can always trust the devout ones, right?

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Student pleads guilty to Frances Abbott 'secret' scholarship leak

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

EYES FRONT OR YOU'RE NEXT.

I think it is now a crime to criticise our PM at all. I'm surprised Freya wasn't detained under anti-terrorism laws, then "regrettably shot to death when she lunged at a Federal Officer with a knife" as we call political murder down 'ere.

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SCREW YOU, Russia! NASA lobs $6.8bn at Boeing AND SpaceX to run space station taxis

Wombling_Free
Unhappy

Let's put that in perspective shall we?

US gov spends $6.8b over 3 years to make sure Local Astronauts use Local Spacecraft.

Walmart's CAPEX for FY2015 is $12.8b. For one year. To build or refurb concrete-tilt-up boxes.

Manned spaceflight is worth 2.72 Minecrafts.

There will never be any off-world colonies, will there?

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What the BLOCK? Microsoft to gobble Minecraft-maker 'for $2bn'

Wombling_Free

I've got this nice bridge, too.

It's even built in Minecraft. It must be worth at least a couple of mil?

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Today's weather is brought to you by our sponsors

Wombling_Free

Thanks Tony

For another huge steaming turd laid on the land once called 'fair'.

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Echopraxia scores 'diamond cutter' on the sci-fi hardness scale

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Speak for yourself.

When someone at work stated, with vehemence, that there are always 180deg in a triangle I pointed out that holds true only an a flat plan in Euclidean space.

Are there any readers of El Reg that are NOT aware of what the Coriolis effect is?

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Tesla: YES – We'll build a network of free Superchargers in Oz

Wombling_Free

And with our population that can actually afford a Tesla, we can expect to see charging stations in Double Bay, Toorak and every 200m in the ACT - they always get everything, perhaps to make up for actually living in the ACT.

NOTHING can make up for living in the ACT.

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CSIRO spells out cash-strapped astronomy future

Wombling_Free

Here in Austfailia

The earth is flat, and full of holes where we dug all the stuff out.

What we don't dig, we frack.

The sky is now illegal, and it is an Act of Terrorism to look at it.

Stars are the bits where GOD ALMIGHTY'S GLORIOUS LIGHT shines through.

Recant! Recant!

OR DIE...

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Turnbull says NBN 'most reckless commitment of Commonwealth funds in our history'

Wombling_Free

Re: Most reckless use of Commonwealth funds?

Er, which Goverment agreed to buy F35s? And Eurotigers? At least the NBN might, you know, ACTUALLY WORK.

C'mon Bunny-boy (you cannot actually BE Tony Abbott, as I doubt he's brave enough to use an new-fangled computamatronik keybyplank) lets see you sing the praises of F35s and Eurotigers. Sing for Tony! SING!

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Hubble Telescope loosens Kuiper belt to reveal ICY BODY for NASA boffins' PROBE

Wombling_Free

Re: thought it was a hoax, however....

What do you mean 'worst'?

Humans are a disease...

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Wombling_Free

Re: Give the Hubbles popularity

I think there are actually about 11 Hubble-class telescopes up there. Google 'Keyhole' or 'KH-11' - all of those spy satellites have the same basic chassis and optics as the HST, but just some different sensors. Oh, and they all point at Earth (or 'credible TEEEEERRRRSST threats') rather than the far more interesting stars.

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POND SCUM shine a path to more efficient solar cells

Wombling_Free

Oh, THAT kind of pond scum.

For a moment there I thought you meant ground-up politicians made good solar cells.

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Chinese Jade RABBIT SIGHTED ON MOON by NASA probe

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Wake up Sheeple!

When will people realise that it is the MOON ITSELF that is the fake? It is an advertising stunt by McAppleCocaDisneySoftMonsantoShell.

Want proof? Try finding a photo of the Moon from before 1827 - YOU CAN'T! The conspiracy was started then by the International Bavarian Magi (IBM -see? SEE?) and has been perpetrated by their descendant cabals since then.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

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ESA readies Rosetta for next year's comet touchdown

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Forget Bruce Willis

Barrel-size? Sounds perfect for fitting in Jebediah, Bill & Bob.

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'I shot the sheriff': Turnbull asked for NBN Co board scalps

Wombling_Free

Weekly reports eh? Oh yeah, that'll fix things and make everything ticketyboo.

It usually takes, oh, what 4 days to write a report like that?

Line up for the GRAVY boys!

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'Catastrophic failure' of 3D-printed gun in Oz Police test

Wombling_Free
FAIL

Re: (Streisland Effect && Do NOT press ME!) {GOTO FAIL;}

Yeah, NSW finest are worried they're going to be undercut by skriptkiddies.

Did I imply that NSW P'lce Farce might be slightly inundated with criminals already, and be possibly a source of many of the actual real guns on our streets? I may have....

Also, BAN SUPERMARKETS and HARDWARE! You can kill people with stuff from them!

AUSTFAILIA - YOU'RE STANDING IT IN.

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3D printed gun plans pulled after US State Department objects

Wombling_Free
Boffin

Sure, you could take this onto a plane.

I'd like to see you try to take the AMMUNITION for it onto a plane though.

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FTTN cabinet survives Kiwi car crash

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Don't feed the trolls.

Come on Reg, that's Rule 1 of Internets isn't it?

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS.

DON"T FEED SMARMY GITS.

DON'T FEED MALCOLM TURNBULL.

Bloody hell, it's bad enough living this armpit of a nation without encouraging the Bogan's Hero to keep up with his rabid slather. Malcolm Turnbull makes Arnold Rimmer look like a pretty nice guy.

Do you fail to understand that swuts like Turnbull have NO INTENTION of ever providing even FTTN (of course their mansions will have FTTFB - Fiber To The Fucking Bathroom) as once they get in power the plan will be subject to review, after review, after review, after inquiry, after review, after review, after inquiry, all in the name of 'FISCAL MANAGEMENT', with the reviews being outsourced to OH MY GUESS WHAT? Their brother-in-law's Fiscal Management Consultancy firm based in Fucking Bermuda.

Have a look at the state of NSW with Fatty O'Barrel in power - management consultants are making a mint, while nothing much happens. 43billion spent on infraftructure - yeah, a few compactuses (compacti?) to hold all the FUCKING REVIEWS. We are up to meta-level 4 for the reviews on the NW rail link, something that was mooted in 19-fucking-28!

Chairman of the review committee (pig-trough) is Nick Greiner, Liberal premier in the 1980's. Another failure, but bugger the gravy-train, he's swimming in the lido-deck gravy-pool of the MV.Gravyboat, the world's largest ocean liner - MADE OF GRAVY!

Most expensive nation on planet? check. Most corrupt nation on planet? check. Most likely nation to end up on the B-ark? checkity-check-check-check!

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Australian Bureau of Statistics denies hacking report

Wombling_Free
Thumb Up

A login attempt is not a hack according to Australian Bureau of Lies, Damn Lies & Statistics.

In other news, ABS reports indicate that 267% of Australians are in fact orangutans called 'Denise' and 9*squirrel/artichoke3% of them live in Ulladulla.

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Oz sports discovers IPTV, just a little

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Re: The (fast) Internet is dead, long live the (slow) Internet

Mate, if you are getting 25-50mbps you must be livin' next door to Tony.

Bugger the TV, try doing Architecture over the arsehat system we currently have - we only need to have real-time access to 10GB+ databases from laptops on building sites - doesn't matter what your mates have dreamed up, tech experts that Tony & Malcolm so obviously are, but it bet it leaves Austfailia FAR behind the rest of the civilized world when it comes to BIM!

Don't know the acronyms? Don't understand the applications or the needs? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND.

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Oz broadband speeds collapsed in 2012

Wombling_Free
FAIL

Geez louise...

Maybe a high-speed FTTP solution might fix things?

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

MAYTE!

dere's moor minrals out dere ta be dug mayte.

Gotta keep me boss in dere tax-free jets and mansions and horse studs!

givvus another beer!

Austfailia, you're standing in it.

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Turnbull 'flat out' seeking NBN killer blow

Wombling_Free
Trollface

We don't call this place AUSTFAILIA for nothing you know....

Hi, Welcome to Austfailia maaaaaaaayte... just hilp yersilf ter ar BEWT dirt an minrals.

Darn wuury bart tem f'in smart arse whiners wif dere NBN, we's gunna shoot dat in nar nuts win we git in.

F'in red-head bitch runnin da playce, maaaaayte wis gunna git rid a her tooos.

BEWDY, a proppa cuntry for BLOKES whos loves BEER, FUDDY, ROOTING, SHOOTIN, an DIGGIN STARF UPS.

Nunna dem smart-arse-pooftas roun' ere.

BEWDY.

Hopes yers dogs are root'n good.

TONE. XXXX

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Australian Feds charge 17-year-old 'Anon' with four crimes

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

Scale?

I think you get 20 years for murder. Sorry to the hardliners above me, but no, he did not commit anything near as bad as murder.

Defacing a website? GET OVER IT.

As Billy Bragg said: "This isn't a court of justice, son, this is a court of law"

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Storage glitch sends Curiosity into safe mode

Wombling_Free
Trollface

Re: Hang in there littly buddy...................

It's fine, they just got a message back from it:

"INSERT BOOT FLOPPY AND PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE."

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Australian Bureau of Meteorology apps to map future rain

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

The Austfailian Govmint. Leading the world in FAIL technology.

Sharemarket, housing prices, the fortunes of mining magnates and career criminals rose sharply today after the government announced wide-ranging plans to privatize all aspects of the public service including the Bureau of Meteorology, the Austfailian Defence Farce, the Bureau of Farmin', Minin' Shootin', Drinkin', Bettin', Fuckin', Rootin' & Circle-Workers, the Department of Jingoism & Sports Sponsorship and the Upper and Lower Houses. Speaking today from COKEanberra, Prime Minister T. Abbott said while boarding his private jet bound for the traditional Austfailian protectorate of Majorca "This is a great day for all APPLEustfailians. From today, this glorious NISSANation will finally have the rulers it has always deserved - ultra-wealthy foreigners. So long, SUCKERS!"

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Stargazers spot first-ever planet forming in dusty disc

Wombling_Free
Pint

Re: Aussie names

90-mile Beach

Blue Mountains

Shelly Beach

Boat Harbour (no, really)

Yep, the Smart Country alright.

Also: I thought Fosters was 'strayn for 'Camel Piss'. Fosters exists only to make people drink VB; "nah, mate, I'd rather drink VB." XXXX is entirely palatable, favorably compared to a mid-range Budweiser.

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Dalek designer Ray Cusick passes away aged 84

Wombling_Free
Pint

<WE ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS>

They were.

They still are.

Thank you Mr. Cusick for a childhood full of proper scary things.

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Drone quadracopters throw and catch inverted pendulum

Wombling_Free
Black Helicopters

Aaaand a ban on publicly available quadcopters...

and some jail time for anyone found flying one, or publishing open source plans....

in 3...

2...

1...

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Microsoft: Office 2013 license is for just one PC, FOREVER

Wombling_Free
Mushroom

Replace CPU, replace HDD, replace GFX, keep mouse.

It's still the same computer, MS. Yes, I am prepared to take it to court.

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Sexual harassment case costs Oracle $AUD18,000

Wombling_Free
Unhappy

$18,000

Wow, I bet Oracle shareholders are leaving in droves.

$18,000 is a slap on the wrist, you can't even buy a really crap car for that in Austfailia. The plaintiff needs better lawyers; the famed harassment case at Myers walked away with several 100K for about 1 or 2 verbal incidents!

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Firm moves to trademark 'Python' name out from under the language

Wombling_Free
Happy

Great publicity!

Veber? Aren't you the firm that tried to trademark "Python"?

Yeah, we won't be doing business with you; you're too much of a risk.

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Official: America now a nation of broadband whingers

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

"nationalised telcomms infrastructure"

Um, why? Because it worked so well for Australia? The only thing worse is when they go and denationalise it again, making the fustercluck even worse.

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New Zealand court hands out second peppercorn downloading penalty

Wombling_Free
Thumb Down

Bloody slow download!

TWO SONGS?

So either their download speeds are appalling, or the 'three strikes' emails can be sent 10ms apart, and have no legal requirement for a read receipt? "My anti-spam blocked the email, m'lud"

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NABERS ... every server needs good NABERS

Wombling_Free
FAIL

So does this mean....

Your data center must now be covered in brick veneer, fill the whole site apart from 40cm strips of weeds on the sides, have 5 bedrooms per human occupant, use only colours that include the word 'beige', have no eaves whatsoever, must have at least 10kW of airconditioning per human occupant (passive heating/cooling? nah, mate, that doesn't work down 'ere) , if built within 5km of trees must have no timber in construction*, must cut down all trees within 40m*, must have room for at least 15 large SUVs along the street front, must use native vegetation & trees (thus conflicting with the one about having no trees), and must have heavy curtains over all windows**.

* - due to recent changes in legislation 'Construction in Bushfire Prone Areas' ie, THE WHOLE FUCKING CONTINENT.

** - yes, that's a NABERS requirement, pretty much all of them are, actually.

Registered Architect (a REAL one)

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