* Posts by what's a handle

112 posts • joined 14 Sep 2011

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Parliament takes axe to 2nd EU referendum petition

what's a handle

re: 1.8% over the line is not enough for the biggest change to this country in generations.

ah, but would you say the same if it was YOUR 1.8% over the line?

btw, I voted to remain and I'm gutted, etc, etc., but... if the democracy means shitty arguments from both sides... well, that's the reality for us, way apart from rosey image we cherish.

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

what's a handle

if I were cynical

I would say that the government expected this crash, hoping to wake up those still on the sidelines. After all, most of those trying to register yesterday were probably the stayers. And to extend the deadline, at a price of being ridiculed is... a small price, really. In a way, to continue with conspiracy theory, such a crash would have been a master stroke, proving on one hand that our dear governement is so incompentent, it can't even organize a proper exit vote, let alone managing on its own once we're out. And the exit lot can't argue too hard for NOT extending the deadline, even though they know most of the lot would be the stayers, because they're trying to show that we can easily manage (the universe and everything) on our own. Well, clearly we can't ;).

But, with a rule of the thumb (dumb-dumb) and cynic/tinfoil hat off, it was probably just the usual lack of forward thinking about human nature in the one to midnight situation. We're too incompetent to hatch a successful plot, and are more or less the complete opposite of Ian Banks (nb, died two years ago tomorrow), v. his Hydrogen Sonata ;)

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what's a handle

determine why its voter registration site crashed

Please let me think hard about this... OK, having consulted my extensive experience and know-how, it's because too many people, all at once, wanted to register by deadline. Think leaves on the railway track, snow in winter, online tax returns,etc. These are ALWAYS totally unexpected.

p.s. I prefer my £1M consultancy fee as a check, rather than bank transfer and it's got nothing to do with my unwavering faith in NatWest banking system.

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Computerised stock management? Nah, let’s use walkie-talkies

what's a handle

the retailer

is amazing on two counts:

1. it's still in business

2. apparently biz is a'booming

I honestly can't get it how they manage that. I go there on the weekend and it's next to impossible to hunt down an assistant to assist your (footwear) quest, because of the 1000 :1 punter / assistant ratio. So I walk out empty handed. Trying to outsmart their system and turning up on the week-day, when NORMAL people stay away from shops (mother-toddler-tadem doesn't count) is no better, because then trying to find a shop assistant is like hunting for red october. So I walk out empty handed again.

And yes, when you actually pin down a writhing assistant and tell him the size you want, they won't have it in stock and no, they are unable to tell you in which other of their store they're showing stock (we were able to check stock across our retailer stores back in early 1990s!).

That said, you CAN order the size you want online, and they will deliver to their own local store, FOR A F... FIVER, if I remember correctly. And then, you can NOT get a refund, if the shoes don't fit, nosir, you'll ge a voucher. Unforgettable experience.

Other than emergencies, like PE snickers and other kids' stuff which they grow out of too quickly, we avoid this retailer like a plague. It's much, much better to buy a good quality stuff, because it just lasts an awful lot longer. By my count (and I am extreme, I'll use the kit until it falls off my back or feet), good quality will buy you 5 - 10 - 15 (at a push) use, as opposed to 1 - 2 years. Compare the price and it's just cheaper to buy better quality (although branded goods have gone down the route of "planned obsolescence").

Apparently though, this un-named retailer, despite being scummy on every front, is all legit, which only proves how sorry the state of things is in this AD 2016, when such business is hailed a success. And it's a shame they were the ones to purchase Karrimor brand, which they turned into one-of-a-number-of-shitty-no-brands offered at "50% discount". Not that Karrimor was that great in its last days anyway.

Rant off, time to go, tk-maxx, ahoy....

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Brits don't want their homes to be 'tech-tastic'

what's a handle

Re: Very little to tempt

re. Do I want it blindly re-ordering?

THEY want you to blindly re-order, that's for sure! The solutions offered have (next to) nil benefit and HUGE amount of grief to the customers / consumers. But think gadget manufacturers and retailers, I bet they're salivating...

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Microsoft and Hewlett Packard Enterprise salute EU flag, blast Brexiteers

what's a handle

Re: The resources the government

"A DAY folks. How many hospitals, schools, prisons, USEFUL things would that buy and maintain."

So how many hospitals, schools, prisons USEFUL things, the equivalent of that DID buy (every day) before the UK joined the EU?

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Blocking ads? Smaller digital publishers are smacked the hardest

what's a handle

stand to lose over $27bn (£18bn) by 2020 due to ad-blocking

nosir, they stand to not EARN. Whatever you haven't YET lost, is not a "loss".

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Microsoft half-bricks Asus Windows 7 PCs with UEFI boot glitch

what's a handle

Re: Is the cure worse than the sickness?

re. rooting your toaster, somehow it looked to me like "rooting your hamster"

oh well, time to see my eye weasel :(

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The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

what's a handle

I remember Microsoft pulling the plug on

.lit As in yet another pre-mature MS spark of genius that never turned into an apple-esque rivel of gold. The one spectacularly stripped of its viriginal (vaginal?) virtues by a terror-wielding c-lit stripper app...

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UK govt admits it pulled 10-year file-sharing jail sentence out of its arse

what's a handle

"ongoing exchanges with stakeholders"

And, ladies and gentlemen, the opening bid is 1 year in prison for the thieving scum... One year bid, now two, now two, will honorable ladies and gentlemen give me two? Two year bid, now three, now three, who's gonna give me three years' worth of imprisonment for the pirating scum now?! Yes!, I can see a hand there! There's three years for the thieving terror-spreading scum, we have three years ladies and gentlemen...

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Ten years in the clink, file-sharing monsters! (If UK govt gets its way)

what's a handle

and what are you, plebs, gonna do about it, huh?

like what, riot and overthrow the government? Sorry, not allowed, 10 years. Anybody else wanting to ridicule our... greatest friends, Bigus Governmentus, eh? Do you find it... risible...?! :(

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One million patients have opted out of Care.data

what's a handle

oh?

I don't remember having seen anything through the post about opting out? Or is it one of those opt outs when you need to find an opt-out form locked in a carboard box, weighted, and dropped to the bottom of an ocean at an undisclosed location (because: privacy, you know, matters).

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12,000 chopped: Intel finds its inner paranoid

what's a handle

The refrigerator knows when the yoghurt goes bad.

The telly knows when you're near and - BANG! - HERE'S a SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU, YES - YOU, Dana Blankenhorn!!! And if you can't send your card details in 3... 2... 1... fast enough, we have a special ONE-OFF only for an always-on, CLOUD CREDIT!!! Yes, no need to search for your card under your sofa, it's always there, always ready, always safe with our special-offer-cloud-safe-offer-save-now-offer-offer, and if your partner and children qualify (yes, they do, CONGRATULATIONS!!!) you can have a special one-off special family package, together with your special-discount discounted offer-discount for future discounts, just click here, here, here, here, here and here, and by the way, as a token of SPECIAL appreciation for our UNIQUE customers you can also enrol for our special enrollment course, up to 90% off, if you sign here and here, and for a premium discounted insurance discount for a bad yoghurt sensor cloud discount delivery service from our carefully selected bad yoghurt sensor cloud discount delivery serice partners. Have a wonderful rest of your 5-step walk across that room, hey, lovely carpet, and by the way, did you notice there's now a special treatment to revive lovely carpets like yours? No, well, it's really simple, when you select our first of the last offers, don't forget to tick box 23 twice, and you're DONE. No more nice carpet for you!

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Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

what's a handle

prosecution... not be in the public interest

Peculiar that such statments always (?) appear to relate to mega-scandals, with BIG money changing hands and top gov officials involved. In plain English I read: "Yeah, guilty, but we can't prosecute ourselves, can we, so f... off!"

So who had a finger in the Phorm pie?

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

what's a handle

Reg readers may enjoy Linux command lines

uh, but what's happened with the "get them coding" hype? Contract's run out?

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Osbo slaps down Amazon and eBay – who'll be liable for traders evading VAT

what's a handle

a big rise in overseas suppliers storing goods in Britain

and how did they get here from China, may I ask? Hitching a ride under amazon drones? Smuggled in pockets of milions of tourists returning from China? Baloons, anyone?

Sure, they could have been shipped first to some EU country with little or no import controls and then re-sent to Britain. But hey, they could have been sent directly to the UK. And who's in charge of those UK customs. Given the volume of chinese "direct imports", I'm baffled why they don't ship weed and other illegal substances the same way...

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Nearly a million retail jobs will be destroyed by the march of tech, warns trade body

what's a handle

Re: A million jobs lost

What's the solution?

The solution is always the same, i.e.

a) tough (= they can f... off and die)

b) become a rocket scientist or economy blogger, because, you know, I can do it, he can do it, they can do it... if you can't do it, well, you're just too lazy - or see above (a).

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Nude tribute to Manet's Olympia ends in cuffing

what's a handle

Security guards responded well, they closed the room and asked her to get dressed.

it should have been: "Security guards responded well, they closed the room and burnt the offending image."

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Facebook is no charity, and the ‘free’ in Free Basics comes at a price

what's a handle

“for every ten people connected to the internet, roughly one is lifted out of poverty”

while of the other nine, three are scammed by Nigerians (I'm sure there are enough poor suckers out of a 1.2 billion to part with their hard-saved cash), another two pwned by a banking trojan, and the rest have been pulled out of their cardboard house into the glorious world economy of call centre sweatshops. But hey, that's "sharing" (profits and labour).

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Microsoft to OneDrive users: We're sorry, click the magic link to keep your free storage

what's a handle

Re: Disingenuous little f*ckers

EDIT: Found it, it's not in the one drive options, you need to click your profile picture, go to edit profile, then click your picture again and there's an option for "Account Settings".

I'm afraid I got only that far, i.e. "Account settings". I can't see WHERE, from the account settings page, you can change permissions which I HAD TO give them to keep the free storage. I have searched all tabs (Account, Your info, Service... Security & Privacy.. you'd think it's the in at least 4 tabs out of 7, eh? No luck! :(

So, I gave something away for "free" storage, and I don't know how to get it back.

Edit too. Yes, it is doable. From the "Account settings" menu (tabs), I went to the LAST tab, i.e. "Security & privacy", then BOTTOM of the page:

If you want to manage your "Ad preferences" - out of luck, lol:

http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkID=513297

This page can’t be displayed

but if you go to second tab (from the left), i.e. Apps & Services (manage permissions) you are shown the "OneDrive" with the key link - Edit. You click on it and - BINGO! - several clicks away is what you gave away, and at the bottom is the button:

Remove these permissions.

But hey, like the poster before said, if you want to keep your "free" storage, one of the "permission" you remove, is to "Add or remove bonus storage". So, I bet, you remove the permissions - and you "free" is takenth away. Oh, fuck them, I don't use this shit much anyway...

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What the Investigatory Powers Bill will mean for your internet use

what's a handle

tor browser

is this correct, i.e. even the main page you open (e.g. I-love-spooks.org.uk) is hidden from the spooks while using tor browser?

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Ich nicht bin Charlie: Facebook must crack down on racists, says Germany's Merkel

what's a handle

Liberal extremist wants censorship

and your vote has been counted

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World of the strange: There will be NINE KINDS of Windows 10

what's a handle

Windows 10 Home.

For that you get the OS with support for Windows Universal apps, the Edge browser (and Internet Explorer), and Windows Hello facial and fingerprint recognition software. You might also get the voice assistant Cortana, depending on where you live.

I'll take the OS please, and instructions how to remove Windows Universal apps, the Edge browser, Windows Hello facial and fingerprint recognition software and voice assistant Cortana, if I'm unlucky enough to qualify for her presence.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

what's a handle

friends and family had recognised her from the footage and

judging by the language used, she'd been approached by some sharp (...)-chasers, elsewhere known as "litigation service providers" (no lawyers, God forbid, nosir).

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Should online pirates get the same sentences as offline ones?

what's a handle

decade behind bars

I thought waterboarding was the preferred deterrent? Or was it keeling?

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Snoopers' Charter amendments withdrawn – FOR NOW ...

what's a handle

minor delay

we will get it in the end. A day of bad news to bury the news here, a concession there... we'll get there. That's what we're paid for.

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Increased gov spy powers are NOT the way to stay safe against terrorism

what's a handle

Re: Is May really that thick?

"she thinks the electorate are thick"

She's right, electorate, in general, in any political system, are thick. At least the mainstream, which votes you in or out, and this is what counts. No subtlety needed.

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Businessman takes Google to High Court to block online abuse from search results

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners

what's a handle

I wish to complain

about the sexist images by the article, which imply that all that light work is done by smiling, middle-to-upper class photoshopped models. Can I have, like, I dunno... an Isis state-thingy bearded warrior or something instead? A slave boy (no, take that back! - this would be understood literally!). Well, a pizza delivery man, with his crash helmet on? Surely this is not racist or sexist? Or a wrinkly off his hospital bed (that's me!!!!), in his immaculately photoshopped gown, no need to bend or stretch, stiff as a stiff, eh? Not to mention a man of colour, to keep the gender/race ratio as advocated by the current double standards. Better still - two men! No, take that back, say, two WOMAN and a man! Sold!

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Watersports-friendly e-reader: Kobo's Aura H2O is literary when wet

what's a handle

for a 140 squid

it can (...) and die. Really

(obviously a fan of a competitive, but good-as-dead brand)

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TalkTalk talks itself into trouble with budget broadband package fibs

what's a handle

ASA

budget should be fine-based. The more they fine, the more they get. But hey, not in this world, eh?

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Psst. We've got 400Gb/s Ethernet working - but don't tell anyone

what's a handle

ALL THE FILMS

not with 400K resolution (up to), I won't.

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Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

what's a handle

Sky News producer

+ unspecified damages

And the chance to win "unspecified damages" to Mr Nobody from Nowherebottom are?

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TrueCrypt turmoil latest: Bruce Schneier reveals what he'll use instead

what's a handle

smoke and mirrors

"Whether hoax, hack or genuine end-of-life for TrueCrypt, it’s clear that no security-conscious users are going to feel comfortable trusting the software after this debacle. It’s time to start looking for an alternative way to encrypt your files and hard drive."

This might prove that the action by we-known-who to discredit truecrypt (if this is their doing) and move people off this software is working. And the only reason to have discredited truecrypt would be that the software was kosher, has NOT been compromised, and this is, naturally, causing problems to the we-known-who. So, to move people move off it to other, potentially compromised software, is definitely beneficial to the we-know-whom.

That said, my voice might be read as a lame attempt by the agents of the we-known-who to discredit the above discreditation if the we-know-who have, indeed, compromised trucrypt, and therefore, do not want anybody migrating away from it, for obvious reasons.

Either way, any FUD created by the we-know-whom, and to fuck with the logic, is clearly a bonus to them, confusing users, can't make any sense of whom to trust, thus, potentially, risking errors of judgement.

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BSkyB broadband growth chopped in HALF

what's a handle

broadband customer growth halved

I always find this panic about "less growth" quite ridiculous. As if the numbers of their (happy ;) customers could grow for ever and ever, i.e. embracing all of us, happy UK residents, and then expanding, forever. How about halving their ACTUAL customer base?

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BT merges iNet and Engage IT divisions under one roof

what's a handle

obvious cost savings in back office duplication

Read: we will reduce the total headcount by 50% (due to office duplication), and the survivors will be rewarded by not being fired and will face an exciting opportunity to process 200% workload (IT Engage + iNet).

I'm sure the streamlining is due to make EVERYBODY happy: those to be fired are presented with exciting opportunities for career change, those not to be fired, will have retained their job, and as to the BT... well, it will save a couple of quid, but hey, that's not the main point here, is it?

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Bruce Schneier sneers at IBM's NSA denials

what's a handle

Greed is something I trust.

I strongly disagree: greed will make them sell privacy tool, but the very same greed will make them sell anti-privacy tools, lying through their teeth to their original customer about how much they care for their privacy. The rule is not "thou shall not steal", the rule is "thou shall not get caught", and of course they did get caught, so all they can and try to do is apply "damage limitation" tactics. I don't think it works at all and it's just pathetic to watch this circus of denials, but hey, I don't draw the rules of corporate PR, perhaps somebody in the world is stupid enough to buy this denial shit? Or maybe nobody does, but say well, we have no choice...

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MPs blast HMRC for using anti-terrorism laws against whistleblower

what's a handle

Ah, fits perfectly

what once a prosecutor in a Stalinist country said: "bring me the man, and we will find the law to match his case"

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NSA's TURBINE robot can pump 'malware into MILLIONS of PCs'

what's a handle

Re: Sigh

Dear <every world citizen>,

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah

Respectfully yours

<government>

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Candy Crush King plans IPO valuing it at $7.6 BEEELLION

what's a handle

Re: Oh dear ....

"... determined to get as far as she can without paying"!?

Methinks this is a huuuuuuge, untapped market there folks! Let's set up a revolutionary business, total like, free model like. And since it's got this huuuuuge potential, we should value this idea at around... let's say, 150 billion. Nah, scrap that, make it a round figure, say, 1 trillion some something. O Come, All Ye Faithful Investors, huuuuge rewards ahoy!!!

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Snowden journo boyf grill under anti-terror law was legal, says UK court

what's a handle

I think they need to bring in severe penalties for misuse of powers

tick-tock, tick-tock..

...

tick-tock, tick-tock...

...

uhm... well, I guess it's not gonna happen in my lifetime. eh?

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Fujitsu testing NFC smart glove and HUD combo

what's a handle

NFC smart glove and HUD combo

perfect kit to stick your finger where the sun don't shine...

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Virgin Media sales flat: Firm bags fewer winter sign-ups than last year

what's a handle

re: folk on ADSL broadband can get cheaper services, uncapped

not so. Consider my case (pretty average):

Plusnet:

7 Mb adsl, 60 GB cap (ok, uncapped midnight - morning), shitty ftp upload speeds, traffic management (aka throttling), but in general, good service.

The cost:

15 quid for the internet

about 15 quid for the bt line (line rental)

about 4 quid per quarter on the phone bill for... not making enough phonecalls (not kidding!)

about 6 quid per quarter to actually PAY them the bill (not kidding!)

That's about 35 squid per month

against Virgin, the cheapest decent phone/cable internet package (no tv, thankyou):

£35.

The difference though: the speed, about 5 x that of plusnet, on top of this, priceless satisfaction, that BT get not a penny from me.

The only thing that worries me is that Virgin is "family oriented", in plain English - (...) rules about throttling, censorship, etc. Plus, I imagine, relentless pressure to take on the subscription of their glorious tv channel shite. But I don't mind telling them, every now and then, where to stick their offer.

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Is modern life possible without a smartphone?

what's a handle

I could withdraw from the online world but retain a lifeline.

I do hope it's tongue-in-cheek...

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UK internet filtering shouldn't rely on knee tappers, says Tory MP

what's a handle

Re: Ahem!

"You have to opt-in to get porn, rather than opt out of being filtered."

Are you sure? I thought I have to opt in to opt out of opting in out of opting out? See, I'm already confused... wow, this proves that a government plan once in the blue moon has actually... WORKED. I guess there's a silver proxy to every censorship.

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Spam drops as legit biz dumps mass email ads: Only the dodgy remain

what's a handle

biz dumps mass email ads

took them some time to catch up, eh?

or, perhaps, it took that much time for the idiots who open those emails to become immune. FB infection rulez!

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PC market staging a RECOVERY. (Only joking, it's through the floor)

what's a handle

lack of reasons to replace an older system

manufacturers - unite. All you need to do is study many a past case of planned obsolescence. Study and apply :(

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WTF is the Internet of Things and how insurers will use it against you

what's a handle

fish tank

"I'm wiring up my fish tank to the internet. The newest incarnation will automatically top itself up when the water gets low, feed the fish and other mundane tasks."

...

You lost your marbles. And the plot. Why did you bother to buy the fish tank in the first place, if it can run autonomously?

ah, I see, looks pretty! Well, get a large screen and an effing screen saver, much less hassle than the internet of all fish tanks :(

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You like iPads, you like things called 'Air'. You will LOVE this puppy

what's a handle

if it

wasn't that expensive... if it run Windows OS, which I have to use as my software is windows-based :(,

and if it didn't have that (...) glowing apple at the back - I would consider, sure ;)

p.s.: even if the battery life were half as decent.

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Loathed wiggly-word CAPTCHAs morph into 'fun' click-'n'-drag games

what's a handle

Re: I always read it as 'Clit Bang'

As always, great minds think alike!

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