* Posts by Zaphod.Beeblebrox

281 posts • joined 9 Sep 2011

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BOFH: GOATSE? No, I said goat fetis... you know what, forget it

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Big Brother

Re: Baaaaaaaaaaa!

So how long have you had this sheep fetish?

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BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Flame

Re: Installers

"That's easy to say when you didn't build that light/no touch system, isn't it."

Actually, I did build it. Certainly, it was built upon and using the deployment tools that MS provides, along with some tools and utilities built in-house, some by me, some by others, but yeah, isn't that how it is supposed to be done? Had it been necessary to do so we would have built it from scratch because it would be nuts to deploy systems by hand when you are dealing with any volume.

Or should I have applauded the depiction of a professional BOFH (and the commenter) for a lack of a professional approach to system deployment? Seriously. Complain about Windows, Microsoft, etc. - sure, I get it, and I do. But *this* kind of complaining only goes to show whether or not you approach your job like a professional or not.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

Re: Installers

"You input the name during the install process?

Sounds like asking for trouble..."

My recommendation was to use automatically assigned names based on serial or MAC but I was overridden by manglement. I agree, it can - but very rarely does - result in trouble.

"By the end drivers, SW and AV is all in place."

Exactly.

"Then the user logs in and everything goes pearshaped..."

Truer words were never spoken.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

Re: Installers

If you get any questions at all during a Windows install, you are doing it wrong. Seriously.

We deploy dozens of systems each week and not one of them asks a question we don't want asked at a time we don't want it asked. Boot to the media, tell it the machine name (because we don't like the automatic naming convention), pick the machine function, and press the go button. Do whatever other work you like and come back later to a completed Windows install on a computer waiting to be delivered to the end user.

Answer questions during a Windows install for a standard system deployment? Amateurs.

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19

Bionym bracelet promises to replace passwords with ECG biometrics

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Holmes

Re: Exercise

Not just sneak in and steal it - sneak in, swap it with another one, then sneak back in and swap it back without the owner being aware that anything is amiss. Seems *much* harder than guessing a password from afar or even stealing a security token.

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Science fiction titan Frederik Pohl dies, aged 93

Zaphod.Beeblebrox

Re: RIP Fred

Indeed. He will be missed, but he lives on through his writings - I am encouraged that the first post is one from a new reader.

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South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
FAIL

Re: Not exactly flashing

@frank ly: "Indeed. I'd claim 'reasonable expectaton of privacy'."

There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place - they were in a shed on display at a retailer for crying out loud! In a shed on their property - fine, but not one in a public place.

That said, the rap is a bit much from my perspective - had someone opened the door to the shed and seen them going at it, *then* called the cops, it would be different. As it was, no member of the public saw his "indecent exposure".

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Tesla tops $20bn as Elon Musk claims arm-wave design tech

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

Re: Battery life

"I don't think the OP was asking for [5000 miles] in a single charge, but rather referring to the lifetime of the battery itself"

Um, no, pretty sure the OP wanted 5000 miles in a single charge. I'm pretty sure the batteries in electric cars already last 5000 miles - in fact, Tesla claims that their batteries will retain 70% of their capacity after 5 years and 50,000 miles.

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Modern-day Frankenstein invents CURE for BEHEADING

Zaphod.Beeblebrox

Re: I'll make the obvious comment.

Wonder if it works as well when *adding* a head - if so, I'm in!

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Motorola teases with Moto X 'design your own' phone

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

...the United States takes Thursday off for its annual "Huzzah, we kicked out the British and will now spell color anyway we like," Independence Day celebrations.

Best. Quote. Ever.

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New Motorola Mobility badge: Too late for this pinball machine lover

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

"pinball is a full-contact sport, which is why it doesn’t work on a computer screen"

This. Why oh why do folks insist on continuing to try to make pinball games for the PC? They. Just. Don't. Get. It.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Angel

Re: Hilarious

No, they'll just leave that to the commentards - they do it so well after all...

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1

New cheapo iPhone ain't gonna be that cheap, says non-Foxconn CEO

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Paris Hilton

>> it drops calls 85% of the time even with a condom around it

At the risk of a severe pounding...

Clearly, you are holding [your condom covered "device"] wrong.

Paris, 'cause she likes them with or without a condom.

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Microsoft parades Windows 8.1, the version you may actually want

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Meh

Re: Vast Imprvoements

"Bringing back multiple apps on screen at once

You sort of can already, you just need to use that stupid "snap" system where you drag the apps to the edge of the screen."

Except that only gives you two, and one is mostly unusable, and even then it only works on screens with the proper resolution. Here's hoping they fixed it up a bit better than that in 8.1...

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Graphene QUILT: A good trampoline for elephants in stiletto heels

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Trollface

"Lewis obviously had a good weekend."

I wonder if he spent the weekend with Rik Myslewski - it might explain this article...

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CRUNCH: 'Drunk' chap cuffed in high-speed car nookie prang rumpus

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

Bootnotes, lad, it's in Bootnotes - you know, that place where El Reg puts stuff that has sod-all to do with IT but generally is of interest to geeks or perhaps is just of a titillating nature, etc.

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2

Eric Schmidt: 'Google IS a capitalist country... er, company'

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Big Brother

I can assure from a privacy perspective ... we would lose you and not get you back.

As for those of us who are paying attention, you've already lost us and you will not be getting us back. The only ones you haven't/won't lose are the great unwashed who don't pay attention or even worse, are willing to give up privacy for the shiny trinkets you dangle in front of them.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

@Psyx Re: Fixed it.

"Have you been to A&E or an inner-city classroom recently?"

Have you seen the waste, excess, and abuse in other parts of government recently?

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FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

Re: One hell of a thing

I see what you did there...

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Who is the mystery sixth member of LulzSec?

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Big Brother

Re: Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

<Stroking beard>Hmmm, almost seems like he wanted to get caught...</psychoanalysis>

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Your Flying Car? Delayed again, but you WILL get it, says Terrafugia

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Windows

@ imanidiot

"Anyone who can learn to drive can learn to fly."

I'd have to disagree, though I could probably agree with "most people who can learn to drive can learn to fly".

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

@ Neil Charles, Matthew 3, etc. Re: Trouble is ...

Dear non-pilots, the term "my airspace" refers to that bubble of air surrounding "my aircraft" into which it is dangerous for any other "not my aircraft" to intrude. Given that the great unwashed have substantial difficulty keeping from intruding into "my roadspace" and seem content to think that mere inches of clearance is sufficient, I shudder to think what will happen when they are released from flatland and have to think and manoeuvre in 3D space.

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Enjoy the weekend, sysadmins: Next Tues fixes 33 Microsoft bugs

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
FAIL

Re: This update affects all versions...

Probably ought to take some reading comprehension classes, mate. That particular bug is in the IE browser, not in the Windows OS proper.

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Watchdog: Y'know what Bitcoin really needs? A REGULATOR!

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
WTF?

Virtual vs fiat

Can someone please explain to me what the fundamental difference is between a fiat currency and a virtual currency with no intrinsic value whatsoever?

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VTOL hybrid flying car promises the skies

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Headmaster

@LarsG

A more complete reading of the article reveals "Under a deal with the authorities, Transition drivers will only need a sports license to fly, which only requires 20 hours of flight time and less exacting aeronautical knowledge. "

Still, have to agree that is will be nothing more than a rich man's toy at this point - but then much advancing, bleeding edge technology starts this way...

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Russian geologist claims finding chunks of Tunguska Event invader

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Alert

Re: Surely...

Is this sort of thing going to happen every time we use the Infinite Improbability drive?

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3D printer spits out CYBORG EAR... but where will you PUT it?

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Alert

Re: Oh Lordy ROTM

Forget the flak jacket, where's my shotgun? And ammo? Lots of ammo!

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Senate clears bill to block warrantless email searches

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

CISPA Dead (for now) in US Senate

Since CISPA is Dead (for now) in the US Senate, this change to EPCA will actually take effect and have the desired result.

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Boffins: Tireless star spurted deadly jets for half an hour at a time

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Trollface

Re: "...a newly formed black hole in the heart of the star"

Certainly from our perspective - and does any other perspecive matter?

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SanDisk cops to malfunctioning Micro SDs in Galaxy S3s

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
WTF?

Re: Godwin's law self-fail

Admittedly haven't had (enough) coffee this morning, but I fail to see the fail.

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Enormo-display Apple iPhone prototype surfaces

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Black Helicopters

Re: The picture looks like Raspberry Pi's next model

Actually, I was thinking it looked a lot like one of the older Beagle Board modules.

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Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

Re: "Elderly"?

"Zaphod, I think this would be a more appropriate picture for use on El Reg...

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4187790080/nm0000402"

Well played, 4ecks, well played!

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Meh

Re: "Elderly"?

"Maybe not "pretty damn hot", and at least a couple of decades on me, but I wouldn't say no."

I would. I don't see anything particularly attractive about her these days - maybe if I was the same age, but even then I see plenty of women her age that are more attractive than she is.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Unhappy

Re: "Elderly"?

"I think Carrie Fisher still looks pretty damn hot."

Really? Here she is with a couple of friends a year ago:

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1141945600/nm0000402

O.O

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Wikileaker Bradley Manning pleads not guilty to 'aiding the enemy'

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Big Brother

Define "enemy" - and no, "who we say is the enemy" doesn't count.

Though I don't agree with what he did, that charge seems over the top (not that I expect any less from the government). I also have to give him credit for admitting guilt on the other charges.

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Chinese Army: US hacks us so much, I'm amazed you can read this

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
WTF?

What's with all of the smoking - is it that much more of a thing in China or is that just more of the propagandist nature of the animation?

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

Re: It's an improvement......

Right, I knew that, I was just... oh never mind.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Trollface

Re: It's an improvement......

They still run the stupid gecko ads, and they are getting progressively worse.

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US woman cuffed for 'booking strippers for 16th birthday bash'

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
FAIL

Re: Give an automatic rifle

First, nobody is giving any 16 year old boys automatic rifles. Those are tightly controlled by the BATFE and monstrously expensive (on the order of $15,000 or more). I suspect you mean a semi-automatic rifle, which fires one bullet with each pull of the trigger and does not require you to manipulate the firearm between shots.

Second, given that this is NY I imagine there would be just as much issue with her giving him a semi-automatic rifle and a ton of ammunition as there was for hiring strippers. NY just passed some of the toughest anti-gun laws in the US, and even before that ti was illegal for a dealer to sell to a minor so it wouldn't surprise me if they had added more age restrictions.

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Russian boffins race to meteorite crash lake as shard prices go sky-high

Zaphod.Beeblebrox

Re: 10,000 tons

All depends on your locale I imagine. In the US or GB, 10,000 tons. In Spain or Italy, 10.000 tons. Elsewhere, it might even be 10 000 tons. I should think it was pretty clear from the context, data being from NASA and all.

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iOS 6.x hack allows personal data export, free calls

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Down

Re: "a sequence of swipes and key presses"

Nope, it is indeed February 15th. Were there any doubt, this quote from the article should help dispel it: "It worked for us on an iPhone 5 running iOS 6.02, not just iOS 6.1 as Jailbreak Nation suggests."

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$195 BEEELLION asteroid approaching Earth

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

Re: But the Moon is a harsh mistress.

Once the Loonies discovered they could throw rocks, it was pretty much over, Earth just didn't know it yet...

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NASA melts mysterious 'metal Martian flower' myth

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Alien

"this could always be cunning PR plan to hide the fact that there are Martians on the surface with whom NASA has done a deal to keep quiet about"

Please don't encourage them, they are nutty enough on their own!

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Clash of the Titans: Which of you has the GREATEST HOME LAB?

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Holmes

Re: an uncertainty of a microsecond.

" I find it cool that the computer which does my video recordings knows the time with an uncertainty of a microsecond. "

I find it likely that the poster of this statement doesn't get out much...

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Apple releases fix for iPhone 4S iOS 6.1 connectivity cockup

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Facepalm

Re: Maps are still crap...still waiting on a fix for this!!!

App Store - Search - Google Maps - Install. Done.

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Still-living, unincarcerated Ted Nugent invited to Barack Obama gig

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Joke

It'll be a free-for-all baby!

"I am excited to have a patriot like Ted Nugent joining me in the House Chamber to hear from President Obama. After the address I'm sure Ted will have plenty to say."

In his subdued, reasoned and rational way, I'm sure.

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BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Angel

Re: Physical security of server room ?

@Callam McMillan - In our case (as is often the case in companies our size), boss of BOFH is former BOFH himself - they are aware of the wiles of the BOFH and know how to counter them, and (to answer another post) would know the difference between the real server room and a fake.

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Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Thumb Up

Re: Physical security of server room ?

This.

To put it bluntly: Security - they are doing it wrong.

Even though I work in a company of only around 100 employees, we have secured and limited access to the server room. I think 3 people have access - our BOFH, PFY and their boss.

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Apple confirms 128GB iPad. A hundred bucks for an extra 64GB

Zaphod.Beeblebrox
Meh

Re: Wait...

No, not joking. He's fun to watch - said something this morning about an iOS 6.1 jailbreak party this weekend. I've seen him at the lunchroom table with an iPhone, iPad, MacBook of some kind and recently what looks like it could bean iPad mini too, all spread out & interacting with them almost all at once.

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