* Posts by Rusty 1

255 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Sep 2011

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This is why copy'n'paste should be banned from developers' IDEs

Rusty 1
WTF?

The BSD implementation is on version 1.2. Just how wrong were versions 1.0 and 1.1?

Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Rusty 1
Alien

Suspicious

Isn't it mighty suspicious that "error 53" is only two away from "Area 51"? Not one away, as that would be too obvious, but two away.

And if you say it quickly, "error" could sound like "area".

It's a signal! They are coming!

Apple yanks international travel plugs over shock worries

Rusty 1
Facepalm

Just how hard is it

to design and manufacture this type of device?

Ah, no, I know what it is: they're using the wrong type of plastic!

Microsoft struggles against self-inflicted Office 365 IMAP outage

Rusty 1
Happy

Re: MS Release process

Surely just no awkward and fiddly diagnostics like "the scope of this variable could be reduced".

Some of those bigger and scarier messages like "is read before written", "unreachable" and "unresolved reference" are just too gnarly to wrangle with!

Data centers dig in as monster storm strikes America's East Coast

Rusty 1

Just the one. And a bag of limes and a bottle of Mescal.

Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

Rusty 1
Coat

Re: Planet?

Well, if it's anything like the Kessel Run, about 12 parsecs?

Rusty 1
Happy

Gastronomic opportunities

Oh distant ninth, will you provide us with an unknown flesh that will complement the surf and turf, golden eagle, and giant panda we have here already? If so, we'll find the helium and be right over.

If it's all flora, no worries, we have sprouts already.

Council of Europe gets tough on net neutrality

Rusty 1

But what if the assumed common ISP of the business and home clients has separate contracts upstream for the different clients (for example, they are a reseller) - perhaps they use different ISPs upstream? Pretty reasonable, if you pay for a specific quality of service.

Do you realistically expect that everyone who pays for internet connectivity gets *exactly* the same quality of service. You might well get "up to 45Mbps" - and you may well get quite a few bps less than that.

You want a specific QoS, you pay for a leased line. Yes, that'll cost you a lot, but you'll get what you wanted.

How many organisations do you think sit between your web browser (you bashing in "theregister.co.uk") and the page appearing? It's probably quite a few. Do you really think that all of them should provide a "fair" and "equal" service to all clients? Oh bother, there's that term "fair". Some may have paid more to be "preferred" - that's quality of service! That's commerce! It's here to stay.

Bloke sues dad who shot down his drone – and why it may decide who owns the skies

Rusty 1
WTF?

Re: the problem with drones...

Why should I have to go to a local R/C airfield to test out my crawling/climbing RC cockroach? If I want to roam the 'hood in search of 'roach fodder, that's what I'll do, thank you very much.

Who ever heard of a flying cockroach! The lunacy of it all!

Rusty 1
Happy

"... Boggs is ..."

Oh do please tell us that other parties were Bunce and Bean.

Patch now! Flash-exploitin' PC-hijackin' attack spotted in the wild by Huawei bods

Rusty 1

Re: First Job

Oh no! You were the poor sap who had to install the patches, *and* stand the stench of the cheese!?

There must be better opportunities weaving baskets.

Rusty 1
WTF?

Re: First Job

Surely it's not a surprise that this has happened? If you follow in the path of Limburger, you will step in it at some time and experience all that that entails?

Obvious really.

Surely your admin will have sorted all of this out anyway, to avoid you being involved?

Trustworthy x86 laptops? There is a way, says system-level security ace

Rusty 1

This is why

This is why I have always advocated having roast parsnips along side the tatties. Especially if there are some finely cooked sprouts too.

The tatties may be be compromised for one reason or another, but those delicious parsnips will bring it all home again.

Hedge your bets, or just enjoy it all! I know I do!

2015 was VMware's Year of Living Dangerously

Rusty 1

Re: Re:fighting like banchies? was Where's the solution?

Damnation. There I was hoping it meant "branchies" and that there was a whole new line of configuration-management based terror and insurgence that I was previously unaware of. Damn again.

Jez Humble to deliver keynote at Continuous Lifecycle London

Rusty 1
Unhappy

Re: Another junket

Precisely.

For some bizarre reason it has always surprised my Java dev companions that I can run make on any of my current C++ projects, and have a new version of the software running on multiple remote servers within a few seconds. No "snapshots", no maven, no infrastructure other that cvs/svn/git. With master/slave (blue/green, it's all broadly the same thing (except for efficiency of the usage of the target resources), and NOT A FUCKING "dev ops" invention - it has been around a good few decades)

And if, or when, there is a problem, it is the work of moments to track down the build version(s) that caused it. Rollback is just as quick as the rollout. No dramas, not need for anyone to get exicted.

No appdynamics or other crap in the pipeline. Just technical skills.

Ah, and as I wrote that last three word sentence I understood the issue. Let's spunk our money and time on tools rather that skills. Yes, let's do that. And we had better attend all of the dev-no-ops sessions this year lest someone discover that the skills we need were in fact honed back in the '60s and '70s.

Dear Santa: Can gov.UK please stop outsourcing?

Rusty 1
Unhappy

Re: Agency problems

I think most organisations do incidentally contract for innovation. Innovation as to why something couldn't be delivered due to some really subtle inconsistency or defect in the original spec that really had naff all to do with anything, and only, as it happens, came to light yesterday.

Cue the line from Andy Hamilton's "Old Harry's Game", something along the lines of: "oh no we're 'innovative' bankers, we aren't responsible."

Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens offers a new hope for the franchise

Rusty 1
Thumb Down

Dulux

I've got a nice fresh 5 litre tub of brilliant white that I shall be applying to walls and watching dry this coming weekend.

I suspect it will be just as interesting but yet slightly more satisfying than visiting a cinema to watch yet another pre-post-prequel-sequel-hope-no-hope-not-these-droids-move-along-hive-of-villany carry on film.

Rusty 1

But what happens

when the bolts are fired at light speed or above? Surely those old fangled Newtonian mechanics just go out of the window?

Tablet computer zoom error saw plane fly 13 hours with 46cm hole

Rusty 1
Happy

"useful parts of the runway"

Excellent description!

Much like "a useful corner on a country road" or "a useful bit in a byte".

Oh em gee – Adobe kills Flash Professional (it's called Animate now)

Rusty 1
Unhappy

In other news...

Bubonic plague has been renamed SlightlyUnwell, and the painful death due to radiation poisoning is now to be known as "Oooh the lights!"

So clean slate, surely no bugs in Animate...

Oracle confesses to quietly axing its UK software support centre

Rusty 1

Re: Australian support staff laid off too...

Of course it is cheaper.

Much like stabbing yourself in your eyes to avoid paying for your next eye test and getting 20-20 glasses. It's all about numbers today, yachts tomorrow, and golden pensions from Thursday onwards.

Clients? Who the feck are they? Oh, yes, they're the dolts we try to position neatly over a barrel or two. Squeeze 'em harder!

What would you give to create Vulture Sweat?

Rusty 1

Re: 415km of climbing?

More worried about the 85kms - that's 85 kilometre seconds. That's a partially inverted speed, right? I'm having trouble working out exactly what that means in normal terms. Bit of a Gordian Knot really.

workDone / time = force

length / time = speed

speed / force = length / workDone

As this result demonstrates, you can ignore time as it is an illusion, especially at lunch time (as it cancels itself out)

So length / workDone, it's a tractor pull!

Rusty 1

Can't help thinking there is a lack of bacon on them there tops.

Important cause, donation made.

FBI, US g-men tried to snatch DNA results from blood-testing biz. What a time to be alive

Rusty 1

Re: Rusty 1 Denies goat-shagging charges. Unconvincingly.

Title (singular), hmm yes, I typed it in, once. No need to be excited by that.

Yesterday I changed the direction of my bicycle so as to avoid a small animal on the road - in doing so I may well have experienced an accident (cars hurtling past etc.). I presume, as far as you are concerned, that makes me a hero (self sacrifice in the presence of danger etc).

"hero" - "rape" equivalence - it's all a matter of scale, isn't it? I'm not a hero, you weren't raped.

Oh, and goats, yes I like them. Cooked properly (takes a while!), with a good bit of fresh English mustard, they are quite appetising.

Next Tuesday?

Rusty 1

Re: @moiety and your "r@pe"

No suggestion that *you* might want to commit suicide. However it is a sadly common feeling for those who have received more invasive experiences. Still, this is all about you, isn't it. You just can't park can you? :-)

Your horror just doesn't register on the scale of someone who has been sexually violated. You are obviously a troll. I welcome the collection of your DNA so it may be observed and traits tracked throughout humanity. Perhaps warm baths should be offered after all. Sad, isn't it.

See you around, perhaps next Tuesday?

Rusty 1
Stop

@moiety and your "r@pe"

Instead of getting all shirty with a traffic warden who was probably just doing their job, perhaps you might want to learn how to park? Properly. It's not just about stopping. Do you find you are featured on YPLAC?

That you even defend the use of the term rape for what you say happened to you really does suggest that you don't have the faintest idea of the what the real world impact of such a horrific act it actually is. Have you considered suicide? Down not across? Perhaps help it on with a warm bath.

Rape is not what you experienced.

TalkTalk: Hackers may have nicked personal, banking info on 4 million Brits

Rusty 1

If such information has been really been lost, the next annual PCI DSS compliance review will be a real doozy. Popcorn and peanuts at the ready!

OH GROSS! The real problem with GDP

Rusty 1
Unhappy

Th biggest problem

Surely the biggest problem with GDP is that the letters are not in alphabetical order. That disrupts the very force that underpins our collective existance.

HP creates laptop for SITH LORDS

Rusty 1
Coat

Re: May the GeForce be with you

I wonder if Queen AMDala will get one?

Bloodthirsty data parasites hungrily eye up healthcare sector

Rusty 1

Re: care.data

"should have a published plan of what they will do *when* it is stolen." - well obviously they will have an investigation, an internal one (for they best understand the context, and the myriad of jolly awkward problems securing any data). A most rigorous investigation too, leaving only a very few stones unturned, ruthlessly and relentlessly seeking out the reason why the theft/loss was discovered.

You call THAT safe? Top EU legal bod says data sent to US is anything but

Rusty 1
Happy

Ho hum

Always thought that "safe harbour" was all about you feeling nice and safe and all that, not bobbing around so much, and therefore so much easier to board and plunder.

Did they mean "sage and humour" - sausages and gags? I like both of them, 'specially when earthy, and what better day the the start of Autumn!

Would you trust Intel, Vodafone, Siemens et al with Internet of Things security? You'll have to

Rusty 1

Intel? Uh huh. They'll likely contribute their lovely AMT technology, or at least certain aspects of it, to the IoT. Nothing quite like a nice little out-of-band back-channel (for management, obviously - duh!).

"Intel Inside - Sharing your knowledge"

If you absolutely must do a ‘private cloud’ thing, here's how

Rusty 1
Unhappy

Re: Business Critical Data out there in the cloud

"Unless you have at least two totally separate and redundant connections" - JCBs and/or their drivers have an innate ability to find the one spot where those logically/commercially "separate" connections are not so separate. Either they have been bundled up together by a downstream 3rd party into one physical conduit or they cross over each other.

Google shouldn’t worry while EU commissars fight over policing tech giants

Rusty 1
Devil

Re: The Shepherd Moons of the Singularity

Just as long as it isn't a Dyson sphere, as the noise would be horrific! And it would be a complete bugger to clean to retain efficiency.

Microsoft throws crypto foes an untouchable elliptic curveball

Rusty 1

Re: Insecure?

Of course it is!

Each and every competent baseball batter can read one of those doozies before the ball has left the pitcher's hand. All anyone has to do is tie a harness the power of the major leagues and it's all over. Back to rot13.

Rusty 1

Can't help thinking they only narrowly missed out on building on a Two Ronnies gag. So close.

BAN the ROBOT WHORES, says robot whore expert: 'These AREN'T BARBIES'

Rusty 1
Coat

Just don't make the mistake of anthropomorphising the robo hoes. They don't like it.

Confession: I was a teenage computer virus writer

Rusty 1

Re: BBC Micro and Arcs

I thought it was *MOTOR, as in

10 *MOTOR 1

20 *MOTOR 0

30 GOTO 10

No, I never ran that. Not ever, and especially not in any branch of a popular high street micro vendor of the 80s. Ahem.

Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Rusty 1

Re: Stance on tech?

Wordstar? Technology from '78? Pah! None of that new fangled WYSIWYG kind of elitism. Should be roff all the way.

Jeez, next someone will want to reopen coal mines.

Ah, oh, OK.

Rusty 1

Stance on tech?

Indeed we need to know: vi or emacs?

Laminate this: Inside Argos' ongoing online (r)evolution

Rusty 1
Unhappy

Re: Not Yodels fault?

Do you know how much training is required to sneak up to your property, covertly slip that "Sorry you were out" note through your letterbox, slam dunk the package in the neighbour's bin, and Foxtrot Oscar the heck out of there with out being caught?

OK, sometimes they do take the short cut of leaving the package in the van and just deliver the note, and the really sly ones don't even have the package in the van, but have left it in the depot. Saves fuel.

So Quantitative Easing in the eurozone is working, then?

Rusty 1
WTF?

Next time on Tim Worstall...

How I found David Icke and never looked back. It's reptiles all the way forward!

Drones need their own version of Asimov's laws of robotics – MEPs

Rusty 1
Happy

What if I ...

Wednesday's Dilbert is so appropriate!

Giant sea scorpion which prowled ancient oceans revealed

Rusty 1

We're going to need...

a bigger barbecue!

VMware unleashes vCAOS on the world

Rusty 1

Re: seems pretty weak

Don't forget that the quoted "9"s availability should include planned and unplanned maintenance. With reasonable expectations of throughput and latency, you just cannot achieve 6 nines across the internet starting from CPE. Where do you draw the line of what is the client's responsibility and what is the providers? Does the client need to have access to multiple independent POPs, with redundant power supplies?

A telco might aim to achieve 5 nines end-to-end across their system (and report to the regulators when that fails). Do you really think an internet-based system is going go get close to that?

High nines is astoundingly expensive. Most don't need it.

Apple will reveal new iPhone on Sept 9 – this is what it may look like

Rusty 1
Trollface

But but but, the corners will surely be more refined, and superior. Obvious to any true follower of the one true Apple. This will be a source of riducule for those who have corners from 2015 Q1 or before, and THEY WILL BE CAST OUT, for they will not have followed the true path, not honoured the one.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Android, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your corners and your icons, they comfort me"

Why is the smart home insecure? Because almost nobody cares

Rusty 1

Two types of security

Air gap - for the electronic side of things.

Gap filled with steel - for the the physical side of things.

Hyundai ix35 Fuel Cell: El Reg on the hydrogen highway

Rusty 1

Obvious, really

Certainly the transportation and storage of hydrogen poses problems. Now that these fine chaps have done the hydrogen -> power side of things, what we need is a better source of hydrogen.

Surely we just need to transport two things: sodium and water. Let them react in a robust "hydrogen generator" unit (probably a few kilos of something strong), and you have hydrogen for the car, and a spot of drain cleaner for when you get home.

Back of the net!

'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area

Rusty 1

Self-scan FTW

Almost every time I go shopping, I find I can be finished off using self-service far faster than if a member of staff has to give me a hand (benchmarked against a similar customers' loads I spy on)

Ahem, yes, it's just being efficient: pick, scan, pack, repeat. Nothing complicated about it. Unless there is a stupid staff verification required because you are buying eggs on October 31st. FFS Sainsbury's!

Fancy a mile-high earjob? We've had five!

Rusty 1
WTF?

Nobody in their right mind

"Nobody in their right mind wears earbuds for the duration of a long-haul flight"

Find a good set of in-ear phones (for the audio), find good buds for them (foam, rubber, whatever), get used to them, and you'll be fine with them for many hours on end. Very small, generally cheap, and easy to manage on a flight, at your destination, and for the entire trip.

Certainly, from my point of view, having some thermal insulation hanging by my ears would be an unbearable thing for more than a few hours. But then you do say "Hot I can deal with, as one of the reasons I like to wear headphones in the air is to stay warm". Seriously, WTF? Would you uprate headphones because they had rockwool over the ears? I have never been on any flight where being cold has been a problem.

Couldn't you just wear a hat? You could write "Beats" on it to make sure everyone knew you were cool.

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