* Posts by crediblywitless

69 posts • joined 29 Aug 2011

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The server's down. At 3AM. On Christmas. You're drunk. So you put a disk in the freezer

crediblywitless

Sometimes it takes the boss looking destruction in the face? It _always_ takes the boss looking destruction in the face, to consider spending money on backup.

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Want a Windows 10 update? Don't go to Microsoft ... please

crediblywitless

Even if it works perfectly, there's still the question of how much Microsoft will pay Windows 10 users to rent storage from them.

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Zen loses its chill: UK biz ISP falls offline for four hours and counting

crediblywitless

I've been a Zen customer for teens of years now. My area code is on the list mentioned in the first fault. I experienced no loss of service whatsoever. You characterise this as some sort of total failure, and it clearly wasn't.

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

crediblywitless

This is a terrible review of a perfectly reasonable film. I'm going to guess that the writer is a born-again TNG fan. I shall be paying attention to what he writes for The Register in future, because that's highly likely to be total bullshit as well, if this is anything to go by. There isn't a single hint of anything that relates to the film I watched yesterday that makes any sense. Get him to actually think about stuff before he writes, rather than just vomiting on his touch screen and leaving it to the subs.

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Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

crediblywitless

/* you are not expected to understand this */

But then, the manual is going to be appallingly bad Greek translated from Babylonian by a Sumerian.

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Inside Electric Mountain: Britain's biggest rechargeable battery

crediblywitless

Can I just say "one point thirty-two gigawatts?" More than enough to run a time machine.

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HGST has an entry-level 14PB archive box... is that enough for your, er, home collection?

crediblywitless

This is basically just a copy&pasted press release. Isn't it? And, yes, capacities are still binary, in real life. Down at the bottom the chunks shifted around are still binary, after all.

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Google emits Android N developer preview early to smoke out bugs

crediblywitless

Nutella?

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Microsoft has crafted a switch OS on Debian Linux. Repeat, a switch OS on Debian Linux

crediblywitless

If we can have Office on MacOS, and SQL Server on Linux, and Microsoft is doing embedded Linux now, can we have Office on Linux?

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The Nano-NAS market is now a femto-flop being eaten by the cloud

crediblywitless

It's poor firmware that's letting these beasts down. I've seen and tried a fair few, and they're all typically a firmware update away from being useful. It's almost as if the producers just assumed that packaged Samba would be a fire-and-forget solution, and no-one would ever want to use NFS provided as a Cinderella service.

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GitHub falls offline, devs worldwide declare today a snow day

crediblywitless

Either it was a big deal, or it wasn't. Thanks for clearing that up.

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How El Reg predicted Google's sweetheart tax deal ... in 2013

crediblywitless

You just have to be big enough for your tax liability to be a negotiation rather than a calculation. If it costs a largely predictable amount to pay people to help you avoid tax, you just need to be big enough that that predictable amount is a small proportion of the tax you're avoiding.

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Friends Reunited to shut down. What do you mean, 'is it still going?'

crediblywitless

Was whoever-it-was at ITV that authorised the purchase in post for much longer? It was close to worthless even then.

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Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

crediblywitless

My secondary MX is a 1993 Sun Sparc IPX with a 4GB (Seagate) SCSI disk attached. The only breaks in service are for building power maintenance.

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Nano-NAS market dives into the cloud

crediblywitless

On the slide? Possibly---but that's because these devices tend to be really close to useful functionality, but always one firmware update away from making a difference.

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Doctor Who's The Zygon Invasion shape-shifts Clara and brings yet more hybrids

crediblywitless

The name of the nerve gas is "Z-67" (from the subtitles) and they apparently did persuade Jemma Redgrave to say "zee sixty-seven" rather than "zed sixty-seven", presumably for the Americans watching who wouldn't be able to understand, otherwise.

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Top telematics: Black box helps driver swerve speeding fine

crediblywitless

When they catch you with one of their lasers, they basically threaten to throw the book at you unless you plead guilty. It's "pay up, or your driving life will turn to shit in hours and you'll wish you'd never been born". There's no hint whatsoever that the box does anything like what they claim it does. I'm pleased that this man challenged them, but I'm surprised they didn't a) take his car apart looking for faults and b) do him for DCA as well when he did. That was what was going to happen to me, I was told.

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Macquarie academics send Gmail a ‘Dear John’ letter

crediblywitless

Or they could, y'know, do their own IT. There must be 40-odd thousand users.

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Look out, world! Apple is about to launch .apple

crediblywitless

Just think, if only the names had been the correct way round all this time, it would be 'apple.ipad', etc.

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Boffins have made optical transistors that can reach 4 TERAHERTZ

crediblywitless

They haven't _made_ anything.

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Be safe: The Great Windows Server 2003 Migration

crediblywitless

As soon as someone can tell me with what I should replace Gateway For NFS...

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Desperate Microsoft PAYS Win Server 2003 laggards to jump ship

crediblywitless

If Microsoft, or indeed anyone else, could tell me what the appropriate replacement for 'Gateway for NFS' is, I'd be grateful.

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Google gives away 100 PETABYTES of storage to irritate AWS

crediblywitless

...And then in half a dozen years' time, Google changes its mind about running the service, shuts it down, and gives everyone 30 days to remove their data from it and go away.

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How a Cali court ruling could force a complete rethink of search results

crediblywitless

If I go into a shop and ask "Do you have [thing]?", and the shop doesn't have it, it's absolutely fine if I'm told "No, but we have [similar thing]". It isn't OK for someone in the shop to point to [similar thing] as if it was [thing]. So Amazon should make it clear, when this happens, that the search results are what it reckons are similar.

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Google creates cloud code cache

crediblywitless

What's the point? In a few years they'll just announce they're closing it down, randomly, as though solely 'current popularity' is the measure of whether a thing is a good thing or not. Google could do with figuring out what it's actually _for_, and looking committed to whatever it is.

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Google puts Android on a diet, names it after the first thing it sees under the sink ... yes, Brillo

crediblywitless

The next version, the platform for everything in your home, will be the total 'domestic operating system'. Gentlemen, I give you... DomestOS.

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Legal eagles want dirt on Google's 'right to be forgotten' decisions

crediblywitless

The 'right to be forgotten' is a completely stupid and unimplementable idea that, had they bothered to ask whoever it is looks after their own computers, the relevant European judges would have quickly realised would just lead to embarrassment for them and a world of shit for everyone else.

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Google wants Marvin the Paranoid Android's personality in the cloud

crediblywitless

It used to be fairly clear that Sirius Cybernetics was Microsoft. Adams seems to have had the whole of corporate IT in mind, indefinitely. Did Robin Williams protect his image against 'Bicentennial Man' exploitation?

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Bride legs it from wedding after groom proves unable to add up

crediblywitless

I suspect these two people didn't want to marry each other, and they set this up as a way out.

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'Camera-shy' Raspberry Pi 2 suffers strange 'XENON DEATH FLASH' glitch

crediblywitless

I crashed an AT&T 3B5 with a flash-gun in late 1985, and I've never taken a picture of the internals of a _running_ computer since.

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Twin Adam Sandlers shake El Reg's movie unwatchablathon team

crediblywitless

Consider also 'The Master Of Disguise' and 'Ishtar'. Recently unwatchable: Interstellar.

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Freedom of Info at 10: Tony Blair's WORST NIGHTMARE

crediblywitless

The BBC has an FOIA exemption 'for purposes of literature, art, or journalism' and spends a considerable amount on lawyers to persuade the world that _everything_ it does is 'for purposes of literature, art, or journalism'. This is a Bad Thing.

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Could YOU identify these 10 cool vintage mobile phones?

crediblywitless

Replaced an SH888 with a T68i. I used the SH888 with a Palm 3 for email-on-holiday, and it worked very well even in bright sunlight when IR transmission was aided by a carefully-cut tube of heavy black paper. The T68i is still my Favourite Phone Ever, though.

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729 teraflops, 71,000-core Super cost just US$5,500 to build

crediblywitless

How much did the Matlab licence cost for that job?

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Ex-Soviet engines fingered after Antares ROCKET launch BLAST

crediblywitless

Just imagine being able to give your job title, when asked, as 'chief asteroid miner'. How totally cool would that be?

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SAN-free, NAS-free? Scottish PHDs lift kilt on how they'll pull storage out of the aether

crediblywitless

I had this notion that I could distribute a main-fileserver backup, across spare disk on student-lab equipment, easily teens of years ago. As always with this sort of brilliant idea, though, the security angle is too unpleasant to make it a serious prospect.

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A Terabyte in my HOUSE? Got more than that in my POCKET

crediblywitless

And, as usual for any of these WD 'clever disks', it'll be forever one firmware release away from being genuinely useful... ...and then obsolete. Exasperating stuff.

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Oz biz regulator discovers shared servers in EPIC FACEPALM

crediblywitless

Same solution applies here as applies to the judges that brought in the 'right to be forgotten'. To find out whether it made sense, all they really needed to do was to ask the people that run their IT for them.

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Pedals and wheel in that Google robo-car or it's off the road – Cali DMV

crediblywitless

Google will presumably be looking at buying a motor insurance company, then.

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

crediblywitless

'second screen' isn't a word. It's two words, 'second' and 'screen', both of which have well-known meanings.

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If Google remembers whom it has forgotten, has it complied with the ECJ judgment?

crediblywitless

Given that this whole business is completely and utterly ridiculous, it shouldn't come as any surprise that the response is ridiculous as well. When the judges were considering it, they could just have asked whoever it is keeps their computers going if it would work. As it is, we now have a legally-founded general-purpose implementation of the Streisand Effect. Idiots.

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L337 crackrz use dumb passwords too

crediblywitless

Someone should research what sysadmins use for passwords...

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Freeview's rumoured '£100m YouView killer' is real – and it's yet another digital TV thing

crediblywitless

Will the audio/video synch be right?

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Plastic is the new rock, say Geologists

crediblywitless

I'm reminded of the geological layer of shoes described in the original radio H2G2.

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Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

crediblywitless

Superstition

What with the Chinese thing about 8 being a lucky number, you'd think they'd go for Windows 8 enthusiastically.

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Boffins suggest storage be baked into mobile base stations

crediblywitless

So, then, attacking base stations near celebrities' homes will become the cloud-based equivalent of bin-raking?

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Oscars backer Samsung can't catch a break: Host Ellen snaps stars on iOS

crediblywitless

The famous one wasn't taken by Ellen Degeneres, it was taken by Bradley Cooper.

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Mosaic turns 20: Let's fire up the old girl, show her the web today

crediblywitless

JumpStation

If anyone's interested, on 21st Dec 2013, it'll be 20 years since the first web-search engine first became available. We didn't think it was first---we thought everyone had one. Sigh. Hi, Jon!

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Mars orbiter finds remains of pioneering Soviet Mars 3 probe

crediblywitless

Musing...

Do they have similar pictures of the Cydonia region yet?

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Potty-mouthed Watson supercomputer needed filth filter

crediblywitless

"As humans, we don't realize just how ambiguous our communication is". Er, no, we all realise that perfectly well. That's why we don't let the computers do it for us. Duh.

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