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* Posts by Barry Shitpeas

950 posts • joined 22 Aug 2011

'Mapsgate' fails to dislocate iPhone 5 demand

Barry Shitpeas
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Proof indeed

that iPhone owners are idiots.

Apple could sell them a colored Lego brick for £500 and tell them it's an iPhone and they would love it.

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Samsung, not Nokia, fans' most favoured WinPho brand

Barry Shitpeas
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How many just assumed that a Samsung phone meant Android?

Lots I suspect...

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Vote NOW for the vilest Bond villain

Barry Shitpeas
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Obviously

the author of this tech news (???) doesn't know the difference between villan and henchman...

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Sony pops pastries as PS3 sales pass 5m

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: mmm tasty..

What DRM? Have you just been transported from 2002 or something?

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10 million iPad minis to 'outshine' their big brother this quarter

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: To be accompanied

Didn't Steve Jobs say "over his dead body"? About the only truly prophetic thing he did said.....

Or was it always the plan to sell them something shite, and then make them all rebuy something better? (perhaps they picked up the trick from Microsoft's strategy of getting Xbox360 gamer to buy two or more consoles in the same gen because the earlier one was shite.)

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iOS 6 Alarms bug hits Australia

Barry Shitpeas
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Really Apple, how hard

is it to get a basic alarm clock working. It's been broken in one way or another in every iOS release for the last 4 years.

I'm guessing hipster functionality is far more important than maps and clocks....

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That horrendous iPhone empurplement - you're holding it wrong

Barry Shitpeas
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Apple spin:

Enjoy your new iPhone5 with patented hipster mode, that puts Instagram(tm) style purple spots and dodgy coloring all over your photos. *

(* feature is not optional, sequence shortened, other better phones are available)

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Harvester garners iFans with first UK Passbook e-voucher

Barry Shitpeas
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Android users, don't fear

You are catered for too. Not only do you have the superior NFC, but you can also use the short-term workaround for Apple's Passbook too...

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.attidomobile.passwallet

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Microsoft plans midnight launch for Surface

Barry Shitpeas
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In the dark, I assume

so nobody notices they look nothing like the hyped up promotional blanks they showed off...

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New science: SEAS WILL RISE due to CO2 ... but not for centuries

Barry Shitpeas
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Good news.

Hotter summers, and I won't have to walk as far from my deck chair to the sea....

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Google celebrates as Android hits 25 billion downloads

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: That's nice for Google

The some people being those "getting away" with selling apps on iOS that don't deserve to be anything but free, and Android punters giving them the finger and downloading the free alternative....

Those are the ONLY butt-hurt boys, and for them I have no sympathy. As I said, Android is a buyers market, if you make something decent, people will buy, I have bought 12 apps/games this week alone (granted it's not a typical week, it's a 25p sale week), but people do buy WORTHWHILE stuff all the time, it's just the vocal ones are the developers peddling crap.

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: That's nice for Google

How much have Android punters saved by not having to pay £1.99 for an app that doesn't deserve to be anything but free?

Sorry you are butt-hurt because your rubbish app on iOS gets money, but on Android someone has done one for free. If you app was upto scratch, people would pay....

Android is a buyers market, iOS is a developers market.

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The Register iPhone and Android apps: Maintenance update

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Re: WIN

Indeed, I want it as good as the Google+ app.

That is the current benchmark.

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Tim Cook: 'So sorry for Apple's crap maps app - try Bing or Nokia'

Barry Shitpeas
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Dear Tim...

You suggestion is only a very small part of the problem.

Any app that uses mapping (and there are LOTS), now uses the shite maps. There is no fix for these apps. If you are too stupid to understand this additional (and more serious) aspect to the problem, ask a grownup for help.

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Google in new Maps patent row - but not with Apple

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Hmm. Coincidence?

Also, aren't Microsoft upto the same thing?

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Eric Schmidt: Ha ha, NO Google maps app for iPhone 5

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Bing Maps are Nokia/Navteq Maps

Apple just went with what was left, and stitched it all together to make a patchwork quilt of shite.

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Barry Shitpeas
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Nonsense

None of them provide OS integration for other apps that use maps..

Basically any app on your iPhone that uses maps in anyway is lumbered with the shitty Apple maps.

I'm waiting tor the class-action lawsuit from disgruntled owners of older devices, and news of mass returns of iPhone5 (which is already only 50% of forcast sales).

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: It is a popularity contest

Bought by morons that are brainwashed by the media.

Next time you watch a TV show or movie, watch out for the darkened room with the macbook with the gleaming Apple logo, and the unnecessary camera angle that shows it off.

Don't believe for a minute Apple didn't pay money for the product placement. It's so rife, it's not even funny anymore. Watch any American TV show or Hollywood movie, and you play the count the product placements. Apple will almost certainly come out on top.

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-05-10/apple-the-other-cult-in-hollywood

I feel slightly sorry for the cretins that fall for it.

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Barry Shitpeas
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Smart move by Google.

You can have an Apple app permanently in development, watch and laugh as iTards slow give up on Apple, because the maps are a deal breaker (which they are) and they gradually work out they aren't the tech leader than some of the press seem to make out they are, and in say 2-3 years when they start approaching 50% of what Google Maps are, they can release it.

Apple would then be in a lose/lose situation, they would have lost 2+ years of users, and if they reject the app, they will lose even more, if they accept it, it's major and very public eating of humble pie.

Google could even launch a Google Maps on iOS6 that each time you launched it, it shows a 3 second advert splashscreen of the latest Android handsets from the OHA. How funny would that be....

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: What's in it for GOOG?

I would rather suffer crap Apple maps that Windows Phone...

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RIM seeks to woo developers with REO Speedwagon cover

Barry Shitpeas
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Yawn..

that is all.

BB is dead platform. I Say so....

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Samsung slams Apple patent jury, wants new trial in US

Barry Shitpeas
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not true

I don't own a Samsung handset, but I believe the trial was a total farce. Even before it opened, with the judge allowing plenty of Apple evidence, but disallowing Samsung similar rights, you could tell the outcome was predetermined,

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Jury was fatally flawed.

It's actually impossible to have a fair jury trial in this case.

Clearly the information is of a technical matter, so someone needs to technically literate to understand it, however being so instantly make you biased one ware or another, as it's guaranteed you will have read about the trial online (or offline) somewhere in the media, with it's own biased spin on the trial, depending upon which advertiser they are keeping sweet.

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Last remaining reason to order an iPhone 5 disappears

Barry Shitpeas
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FAIL

The last reason went 2 years ago.

When they were no longer a status symbol, every chav owned one.

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Apple iOS 6 review

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: I waited almost 9 months

Then buy a Nexus, idiot.....

It's Apple-like upgrade experience.....

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Apple 'hasn't really run out of iPhone 5s AT ALL'

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Didn't people learn ANYTHING from Nintendo Wii?

You only have to kick the hype train off, it will roll for years before braindead consumers work out they were fooled.

The Wii-U will flop as consumers will vow to to be conned again in the same way by Nintendo.

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Barry Shitpeas
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Didn't people learn ANYTHING from Nintendo Wii?

If you fool idiotic consumers that something is desirable, because it's sold out, then the morons will queue up for any old crap.

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Who queues for an iPhone 5? Protesters, hipsters and the jobless

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: SAD

It should make you happy.

Happy that you know how sad this is. They clearly don't have this ability.

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Siri, will Apple's App Store lock out blind people on iOS 6?

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Only the dumb ones left then..

and Apple won't have any customers left.

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Office to propel Windows tablets past Android in 2015

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Office to propel Windows tablets past Android in 2015

Whats weird, is this "expert" from a company nobody has heard of, and can't possibly be on Microsoft's payroll, fails to take into account two crucial factors.

1/ There are already many very decent full Office apps on Android, that work on both phones and tablets, that read/write Office native formats, and can sync docs with the cloud. "OfficeSuite Pro 6" is my favorite, it's less than a tenner, and appears frequently in promotions (I picked up my copy for £2.20)... There are plenty of others too.

2/ Google recently acquired QuickOffice developer that makes Quickoffice Android suite. You can bet money the moment Microsoft try to sell their overpriced office suite for their failed WindowsRT/Windows Mobile platform, Google will offer this puppy up for free....

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Nokia flagellates self further to quell fake cam ad Twitterstorm

Barry Shitpeas
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Panic at El REg offices

As Reg realizes that this could sink Nokia... (not that they needed much help on that front).

They faked the pictures too by the way... Although no groveling about that yet...

http://www.theverge.com/2012/9/6/3297758/did-nokia-fake-the-still-920-pictures-too

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Microsoft to comply with Brussels over browser choice gaffe

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: I still don't get why this only appies to MS

That bollocks.

iOS blocks all other browsers allowing only browser skins onto of an intentionally gimped JIT-less version of Safari using legacy slower APIs

In short, ensuring everyone uses Safari, whilst fooling the Eurocrats that they are giving users a choice,#

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Nokia apologizes for faking Lumia 920 ad

Barry Shitpeas
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Obviously not THAT sorry

as they faked the pictures too....

http://www.gsmarena.com/nokia_lumia_920_sample_images_found_to_be_fake_as_well-news-4769.php

Basically, the only redeeming features for the new Lumias are not all they are cracked up to be, and needed to be faked.

The reality of course, is that a 8MP backlit sensor for low-light shooting is nothing new at all, the Xperia Arc had this spec in early 2011. The Xperia S has an even further enhanced 12MP version of it.

So basically Nokia are still 18months to 2 years behind the curve.

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Nokia tears wraps off new Windows Phone Lumias on steroids

Barry Shitpeas
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Mushroom

Hold yer horses...

What you see of course (in true Microsoft/Nokia style) is NOT what you get... The classic bait and switch...

http://conversations.nokia.com/2012/09/06/an-apology-is-due/

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Finger-free Kinect coming to fondlesome Windows 8

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: PROOFREADING

You have been fooled by the polish.

The polish was all that tripe on Engadget/El Reg or anywhere else on the payroll, that distracted you from the fact that all the Kinect GAMES (you know, what you bought it for...) all sucked balls. Sure some stupid news story about it being used to control million dollar rockets or being used by surgeons to perform keyhole surgery and stuff makes great headlines that fools cretins, but as anyone that has used Kinect knows, the reality is MUCH more disappointing than the promises of the minority report future....

I would like to ask Balmer to sit in front of a robot with a scalpel controlled by a doctor whilst it cuts an eyelash. Lets see him put his money (or eyes) where his marketing mouth is. I would also ask him qhen will Microsoft be getting the Guinness Book of Records for the most traded-in or gathering dust peripheral of all time...

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: PROOFREADING

I hate anything thats a polished turd, regardless of manufacturer.

This includes:

Xbox, Kinect, Zune (or anything else Microsoft has done in hardware)

ipod, iPad, iPhone (or anything else that's about status rather than function)

Lumia (or anything else lumbered with Windows Phone abortion)

Marketing or throwing money at something should never allow a shit product to come across as premium.

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You'll be on a list 3 hrs after you start downloading from pirates - study

Barry Shitpeas
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Oh what fun.

watching freetards running around panicking....

How much will mummy have to pay? Quite alot methinks...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19370862

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Mozilla dumps iOS, pulls Firefox Home from iTunes Store

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: anti-competative

Did you not learn anything from Apple vs Samsung?

Apple are untouchable, just like Microsoft. They employ so many people and contribute so much to the American economy, they can do what they want...... The US government can't touch them.

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Obama platform: 'Open' internet, strong IP protection

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tougher IP protection?

tougher than that American courts protecting American companies bullshit last week?

Surely a reason NOT to vote for him.

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Apple confirms 'surprise' September 12 event

Barry Shitpeas
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I remember well

the latest time everyone on the internet reported about the iPhone 5 event, and then all came away looking like total retards when it turned out to be the "iPhone4 with working aerial" launch announcement.,

Seems nobody learnt anything from last time.

http://www.reghardware.com/2011/04/20/iphone_5_out_september/

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Android dev smacked with £50k fine over premium rate SMS scam

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: HOW MANY OF THESE

Errm you do know this wasn't downloaded from the Google play store right? Did you even look at the video on the Sophos site?

They are downloading random APK files from the internet, which unsurprisingly ISN'T vetted...

If you didn't OK the scary malware warning, then you woudln't be able to do that. The only people really at risk, are those shopping (or pirating) from non-Google sources (including Amazon).

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Barry Shitpeas
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Re: EPIC FAIL - Sophos are clearly idiots....

Yep, that's the plan. You engineer a situation where you can sell idiots snakeoil (in this case Android anti-malware packages).

What's surprising is the sheer number of idiots that seem to be fooled by this, including tech journalists.

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Barry Shitpeas
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EPIC FAIL - Sophos are clearly idiots....

The idiot in the video on the Sophos website had already unticked the "Unknown sources", and then obviously failed to understand the following warning it presented him.

“Your phone and personal data are more vulnerable to attack by applications from unknown sources. You agree that you are solely responsible for any damage to your phone or loss of data that may result from using these applications.”

What a tool.

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Ho ho ho! Apple's Samsung ban bid pushed back to Christmas

Barry Shitpeas
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Meh.. Will be overturned LONG before then.

Seems the single head jury member that lead all the others into their decision based HIS decision on a flawed understanding of how prior art works.. There is no way this could stand, given that a) a single jury member influenced all the others.. b) his understaning of Prior art was flawed and inconsistent with the paperwork they were given (but clearly couldn't be arsed to read as they had already decided the outcome on day 1)

Mistrial in 5.4.3.2.1.....

http://www.patentspostgrant.com/lang/en/2012/08/apple-jury-confuses-obviousness-analysis

and here:

http://www.groklaw.net/article.php?story=20120828225612963

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Apple demands a quickie, aims its torpedo at 8 Samsung mobes

Barry Shitpeas
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Re: Well boo ****ing hoo

Well you can come crying to us, when the only smartphone you can buy is a Apple one, and the price and lock-ins will have risen appropriately to ensure it will always be the case.

This judgment, America just moved a massive leap towards the future played out in the movie Idiocracy (apple in the this case, not walmart, but the same target audience nevertheless)

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Barry Shitpeas
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"The jury reached its decision in just three days"

No they didn't they made up their mind after the first day of evidence. It's quite clear this was never a fair trial, and every time someone from the jury opens their mouth, the more it appears that Samsung never stood a chance of a fair trial. It's a kangaroo court and It's increasingly sounding like a 1 person jury, with 8 people towing the line and keen to get back home for the weekend. This will undoubtedly be overturned. There is not a chance in hell that it will stand.

http://www.groklaw.net/article.php?story=2012082510525390

And some stuff here from the lead juror (who himself is a software patent holder it seems, and clearly wanted to promote the validity of patenting trivial things).

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Nokia, Moto, Sony phone wing of Foxconn is soaked in red

Barry Shitpeas
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Nokia?

I seem to remember then from before the smartphone era... Not heard from them from years. Are they still around?

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Google names names in amended 'shills' list

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Re: Oh Wow

OutofofficeAutoreply.

I am out of office at the moment, on holiday on my personal Caribbean island that Google bought me in exchange for saying bad things about truly evil corporations like Apple and Microsoft.

I will be back in the office on 07/09/2012, if you need to contact someone in my absence, please contact Terry PoopCubes.

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Want a Windows 8 Start Button? Open source to the rescue!

Barry Shitpeas
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Can't really banish Metro thou

As it will always start up with that, so you can go shopping with Microsoft and buy lots of new apps to replace the old non-Metro ones....

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Ten phones for seniors

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WOW, Nokia 100 running Windows Phone 8.

Exclusive pictures in this review...

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