982 posts • joined 18 Aug 2011
VB for children? I need to clean my keyboard... coffee all over it...
FFS, even my junior's school got it right - they start with Python at the age of 12 - the age is chosen so that the kids know the idea of a variable.
Myself - I am a recovering perl adict in python & C rehab. As such I can see the rationale and approve of Python as a choice. You need clean, consistent, well defined concepts. No "this thing is an object, but this thing isn't". It is for the same reason Pascal was taught in Uni once upon a time. It is not because it will be useful in your career (it will not be), it is because it allows the professor to illustrate all concepts in a consistent manner.
So from that perspective spaghetty languages (Perl, C++, VB, etc) which carry 15+ years of inheritance dating back to the days when the question "What is this new and shiny object thing?" did not get you fired, are a very bad choice.
By the way, If you want to start earlier, just teach them the idea of a variable. Worst case scenario you will get yourself called to school. My dad got dragged in when I was 7 year old and the teacher found out I know negative numbers. I am expecting myself to be dragged in any day when the teacher loses it with my daughter knowing how to do tall 5-7 digit number subtraction, addition and multiplication at the age of 6.
No magic quadrant?
Where is my magic Ebola magic quadrant... Aaaaa... Aaaa... Continues to throw toys out of the pram.
On a more serious note - this advice is comparable in quality to their usual CIO advice. Nothing to see here, move along.
DWB - Seconded
2.5 l Isuzu Rodeo Denver.
Binary driving (my wife) - sub-30 mpg
DWB (me) - 37-42 mpg which for a 2 metric ton truck is very reasonable.
Re: Depends on assumptions
Engine pre-heaters are cheap. If you use the right pre-heater:
10 x more economical than a coolant fluid-preheater, you do not need to run it all night to have a usable engine in the morning. An hour or two is enough. Come in both 220V and 120V versions.
I would definitely advise putting a full front underside shield on the car though to avoid stone chip damage to the filter over time.
Re: No propulsion?
Ever sailed a boat?
With a correct sail design or correct payload attachment design you can make it do whatever you like. In fact, in space all you need is a moveable payload attachment design where you move the payload relative to the sail in order to adjust the centre of gravity. Designs like these do not require any thrusters except for emergencies. All they need is an energy source and a couple of rails to move the payload along. The design of solar carrier is de-coupled from the payload so you can carry nearly anything (the solar sail assembly becomes a solar "tugboat").
The right question is not if you should call her mom
The right question is:
I can see that you are resource constrained and do not have enough resources for your current project workload. Would you like me to escalate it so you can get some additional resource?
It sounds polite, it looks innocuous and at the same time it is clear that the escalation may be "she is incapable of doing her job due to overload, remove some of her responsibilities". She also cannot take you to the task for threatening her as it does not look like you are. You can also smile appropriately just to make sure she got your point.
Re-read the klingon software development guide
I have left the more important points, special attention to: 14, 18 and 19
3. I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 review team to a round of Bat-Leth practice on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
5. Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always offensive. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.
6. Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi programmer.
7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
9. By filing this bug you have questioned my family honour. Prepare to die!
10. I am without honour...my children are without honour... My father coded at the Battle of Kittimer...and...and...he... HE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO BE MICROMANAGED. <Shudder>
11. You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
13. Specs are for the weak and timid!
14. Klingons do not believe in indentation - except perhaps in the skulls of their project managers.
16. Klingons do not "release" software. Klingon software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of design engineers and quality assurance testers in its wake.
17. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Bugs are good for building up character in the user!
18. As for project orders (requirements, goals): Klingons do not deliver; we EXECUTE. For the glory of the empire!
19. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
And the result is:
Qapla [also Kapla from the Klingon language: meaning "success" (or sometimes "absence of failure")]
Re: If the tone is wrong the content is lost
Slightly more complicated I am afraid.
There is a fundamental problem in a volunteer project. If someone's contribution is crap and is not improving how to tell them to go away. Even more interesting - if you have told them to go away and they have not, how to get rid of them. 'cause there are some people that consider their ideas to be so good that they will simply never ever let go.
If this is a workplace, you fire them or if you cannot fire them assign them a menial task at the desk next to the door. If this is a volunteer project you sometimes have to use "inappropriate" methods to achieve the equivalent of getting someone fired. C'est la vie.
I think you are failing to comprehend the definition of cruel and unusal punishment
I think you need to work for a year or two in a place where they use MKS or try to work using Clearcase in a distributed/remote/home worker environment. I will be glad to hear from you after that one.
Git is like democracy. It sucks, but we have been unable to come up with something better (at least as far as distributed development is concerned).
Re: special place in Hell reserved for this guy - NOT!
An elderly cat will be much more upset by being moved than by being provided with new carers in the house it "owns".
Ahem - dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Further to this - Burmese and Siamese (that looked like a Burmese on the video) tend to declare ownership over people. They will adopt one particular person as an owner (or to be more exact, declare that they own that person) and tell everyone else to sod off, even if those are the people are feeding them and changing their litter tray.
If you are that lucky person, the cat will stand in-between anything and you (inclusive of lethal poisonous local wildlife). I have seen it and been on the receiving end of it myself. Our old cat which my mom has been feeding and living with for 10 years declared my son an "owner". From there on, you could no longer even consider tucking in his blanket or getting anywhere near him if the cat was in attendance. At 1-2m you got a warning hiss, approach under 1m was dealt with by a set of 20 razor blades attached to a surprisingly agile (for her age) old Siamese.
Re: Sad state...
Quote: Totally unoriginal, "intelligent" art for idiots
Care answering which placard are you holding? "Migrants not Welcome", "Go Back to Africa" or "Keep off Our Worms".
Looking at it, it was original, it was intelligent social commentary and it did hit the local xenophobes very hard. Hard enough for them to remove it in less than half a day.
Gee... talking of clueless moron...
quote: Have these people ever actually rocked a baby to sleep? Don't they know that a car door closing a mile away can undo an hour of sleep-inducing effort? (Judging from the youthful looks of the writer responsible for the post, no - Ed)
6 months of "community service" trying to do that with an experimental subject suffering from colics will do the trick.
In any case, on the subject trying to do a conference meeting on a wearable while babysitting. Have you tried to overlay those project plan and deliverable slides on top of junior's soiled bottom while changing a nappy? Now, try to discuss them on a conference call.
A video call with the boss would be even more fun... Cough... sputter.. cough...
I wish they could
In order to do that we will have to stop buying oil and gas from them first.
So for the time being we have to pretend to listen. At least those of us who live in places that do not frak.
So what's next?
So, what's next? Jamming equipment and guided AA missiles at stadiums?
Flags and slogans may be different, but there are plenty of hatchets buried at very shallow depth worldwide. This has shown how easy it is to trigger them. Copycats shall follow, it is not a matter of "if", it is a matter of when.
When we compare the response now to the investment which the developed countries put into eradicating smallpox the response is laughable.
Frankly, we are lucky that the infection ratio is so low (the "exponent" factor is order of magnitude less than flu, any of the MMR family or varicella) and that it is transmitted only via direct contact, not airborne.
Looking at how we are reacting to it, I really would not like to think what would happen if smallpox returns (with or without some idiot's assistance) or if we get a Spanish Lady mark 2.
As one of my friends used to joke
If they ever remake Alien (the original one) in 3D, Pampers will do a very brisk trade opening a booth in the Cineplex hallway.
Though, looking at the pics, some of the phenomenal scariness of the original H.R. Giger creation has been lost in the game. It just does not look right. Probably for the better. I would not want to wake up screaming in cold sweat for the a week after playing it.
Quote: Well, that's not their fault. They've designed it to a price and made no promises beyond that design spec
They went a bit beyond that by making a deliberate and concerted effort to disable any possible means of accessing anything locally through any legacy protocol. NFS - boom. NFS4 - boom. SMBFS - boom. All taken behind the cattle truck in the siding and given a bullet in the back of the head. To add insult to injury the kernel in git is 3.4 which is known to have issues with some of these and without any of the later fixes for them.
So, while the drive being abismally small is "design to spec", the rest is not. It is "cripple to marketing goal".
My Samsung Chromebook runs Debian from day one. I had to re-compile the kernel from git, because they had most linux filesystems removed from the original one. While it did have ext2-4, nfs (all versions), autofs, smbfs and in fact all network filesystems were missing.
Yeah, I know - it is on purpose, so I use the Cloud.
In any case, due to the abismally small drive it proved unusable for my needs so I am rebuilding it (with Debian, no f*** ChromeOS) as a travel notebook for one of the kids.
This shows something different
These rollercoaster ride statistics show that the manipulation of search results, typosquatting and other similar use by far exceed legitimate domain registrations.
Re: Apple invented nothing
A "fake prop from a sci fi show" is admissible prior art. It is sufficient to prove the lack of originality in a patent application. So the law says. End of story.
Re: "restrictions should be slapped on the numbers of births in the park."
Why the bears?
Ask her to perform the same operation on a doormouse. The doormouse _MUST_ remain _ALIVE_.
Then ask her to do it repeatedly 200+ times.
Then ask her if that was a good idea.
Re: Nice Review
Move a NAS. In a Jag. Bwahahaha...
If you really need to move IT equipment get a decent truck. Either MItsubishi L series or Isuzu Denver. Do not get Toyota (it is a bouncy castle/roller coster ride on wheels, those drives in the NAS will not like it) and I am going to restrain myself from comments on Ford and Nissan comfort and reliability.
As someone who regularly takes a Denver on 100+ miles business ones (with kit inside) and on 2000 mile recreational ones (with kids inside) I find the idea of using a Jag estate laughable.
First of all - If you are _REALLY_ an IT consultant of the type that _REALLY_ take an occasional NAS to customers (NAS, not suit). If you are and you need it for a job, the truck is VAT Free and is a valid capital asset in the UK. The Jag is not. It is a benefit in kind and when you put it on the accounts it will hurt. The truck also costs 2-3 times less (26K pre-VAT on the road with a 4 cab and every single option known to man vs 50K)
Second, try driving "for a living" 2-4 hours every few days over an extended period of time. Try in a low "sports" position car (especially in something where your butt is far under knee level like an Audi). Try in a decent (not Toyota or Nissan) truck. Your back will explain you the exact difference between the two (with the assistance of a physiotherapist).
Now if you are an IT consluttant (spelling intended) that pretends that he needs to take a NAS to customers but does not know which end of the NAS is which - take the jag. Any day. It will suit you.
Last, but not least. You can actually move a _REAL_ NAS or SAN, one that takes half a rack in a truck. Try that in a Jag. Specifically - try loading it without damaging the loading area. Just try that (I will gladly sell the tickets). Oh, do not forget to fit the trolley and lifting equipment to transport the bugger in the jag too.
Re: Mile wide and inch deep
As my late dad used to say: "Your univesity diploma is a not a statement that you have learned anything. It is a testament that you have the capacity to learn something".
As far as coding for kids is concerned, coding as just coding is a pointless excercise when kids are concerned. You cannot teach something that abstract. You have to make the subject of the coding do something. So you either have to combine that with art (Scratch) or with practical "do this" (Pi). Otherwise kids will see it as the most boring subject in the world. It also has to be done at the right time. My older one did Scratch in school at the age of 11 which is seriously too late for this. By ~ 3 years.
Microbes in yeast...
Err... Saccharomyces cerevisiae is not a microbe. It is a eucariote.
At least so I remember from the days when I was still undecided if I will go to the darkside and do IT or to the light side and help humanity in their fight against diseases. My first salaried job (while still in high school) was a lab assistant in a mol biol lab and I fondly remember my attempts to dupe that damn "microbe" into producing human gamma interferon. Not an easy task by the way as it is quite fussy to what DNA it will incorproate (not like microbes which you can engineer with plasmids or phages in many weird and wonderful ways).
As far as the strain of yeast not being important, that is b*llocks. One of the reasons why soviet beer with the exemption of the stuff from the Baltics used to suck rocks is exactly because most factories were mandated to use a mutant strain (so that people do not try to seed their home potato fermenter with it). The mutant was producing excessive stinky bits (ketones) if you did not keep the pH acidic enough so the average Vovka without access to food quality phosphoric acid could not do some DIY brewing.
Granted, that is an extreme example, however as every brewer knows there is yeast that produces nice healthy beer and wine and there is yeast that produces ourtight stinkers (even without the bloody soviet "anti-DIY brewing" mod).
I hope it did not get its feet cut off by the blades. That was a close call.
In any case, if you want a true Hitchcock, try to approach a roosting colony of rooks. There is one with 5k+ birds inhabiting a row of poplars on the edge of a farmer's field about 1km from where I live. They are available for filming opportunities every morning and evening. The ghastly things wake me up every morning at 5:30 am with their discussion of "news of the day" on their way out to farmer fields.
They have actually managed to chase away any birds of prey from the vicinity over the years. Before they moved in there was a family of Peregrins living in the cliffs of an abandoned chalk pit next, sparrowhawks and even the occasional goshawk coming from the woods nearby. All of these have disappeared. If they as much as show up above tree top level they get mobbed including targeted "droppings" bombing runs from all directions.
If you have a drone to lose and some rooks nearby, try it - I give it ~ 10s from the moment they decide it is a nuisance to their society. Tops.
The sidewinder dune performance is "Meh..". They should try to sticker the reflective material to Macrovipera lebetina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macrovipera_lebetina aka Gurza.
By the way compared to it the sidewinder (and most rattlesnakes for that matter) are as docile and friendly as the bearded lizzard in the school pet "corner".
It also moves over dunes in a slightly different (and much faster and more efficient) manner.
Re: Got one
I thought that the idea is that you _ALREADY_ _HAVE_ a long term project to use it for. One of those... Lifetime ones.
I am going to read the docs (I somehow missed their campaign) and if it sounds like somthing fit for purpose I am going to get a couple for the "projects" for Xmas (one 6 year old project and one 12 year old project).
Re: Chrome is a resource hogging abomination
Yes and no.
Chrome is a resource hogging abomination on a terminal server (regardless of the terminal protocol). The reason for this (and one of the reasons for its perceived "fastness" on normal hardware) is that it does most of the rendering on a canvas internally and updates the whole canvas at a time. Compared to that Firefox uses much more graphic prmitives from the underlying graphic subsystem. This allows remote access protocol implementations to optimize redraw and do a lot of ops locally. They do not get that chance with Chrome.
As a result of this, Chrome when compared to Firefox (or MSFT offering for Windows T Server) sucks royally in a thin client environment.
The UK ICO does not
The UK one does not and the politicos will ensure that it never will (even if this means alignment to common goals with Belarus with regards to human rights).
However, I would not be so sure about the German, Austrian and/or Scandinavian equivalents of an ICO... Hmm... Those may be worth writing a letter to (if you can manage the apropriate teutonic or viking speak).
Re: Another juicy database
You mean "where it is already in the baltic states".
They have had identity cards with x509 crypto for many years. In fact, they can even vote over the Internet using these. Any government services, the social security system, etc are 100% authenticated (mostly in-browser x509).
I have contributed to several open source projects and the rule of thumb is:
1. They are usually fairly tolerant in the beginning
2. Once you get to know the lay of the land you are expected to write high quality code and that quality is expected to be consistent too. If you do not deliver the tolerance will quickly disappear.
I believe that quality of the code is not something which systemd is renowned for so it is not surprising that he is getting flack. He is long past "phase 1" so there is an expectation from him to deliver. Like any other workplace for that matter.
Al203 works fine if it is a part of a small rigid frame - watch or small phone.
Examples I have owned over the years - Polyot (not the Shturmanskie, one of the later ones) - 25+ years ago and Motorola KRZR. If Al203 is framed or attached into a small rigid structure it is nearly indestructible. The KRZR I had 8 years ago is still alive, kicking and taking daily abuse (and regular drops) from my mom. She has been unable to break it after I handed it down After all this years there is only a single chip on the outer Al2O3 cover on the top of the clamshell :)
I do not see how it can work with a large sheet though. Even an iPhone 1-4 size phone will be too large. A thick enough Al2O3 coat will be unacceptably thick and and heavy. It will probably be too thick for a capacity screen too. IMHO the KRZR was the first and last application of AL2O3 in this area. The likelihood of another one is pretty slim.
Exxploit and patch is a standard practice in malware delivery.
You immediately close the hole which has allowed you to infect the system to ensure that nobody can break in and use your new zombie.
Not likely to succeed
Most banks and other interesting targets x-ray their email nowdays. There are way too many nutters out there. Ditto for mail in general. A selection of it gets scanned too.
So this does not stand any chances as an attack method against most "interesting" targets. You are more likely to succeed by attaching a Pi to a rat, crow or something else that can get in range.
Re: "can't oppose the gubmint cuz they got tanks and drones.."
Yes and no.
1. Every time a proper army has dealt with middle eastern insurgents it squashed them flat within a forthnight.
2. It is not winning, it is holding which is the problem. If a proper army (or openly armed paramilitary police) tries to hold an area by force the tens of people who were easily squashed in the first place become tens of thousands of pissed off cittizens and that is when the army loses.
3. The same is valid for the "home field advantage". There home field advantage and a group of "determined individuals" can beat a regular army only if it is being assisted by the general population. Example - the relative success of the WW2 insurgency against Nazi Germany in Serbia, Southern and Eastern Ukraine, France and Belorussia compared to the complete failure of any attempts to foster unrest in the Baltic states, Western Ukraine, Croatia, Hungary, etc. Determined people tried there too. They just... did not last very long... As one of my Serbian friends used to say: "Of course, the Croatian pensioner next door did help the Serbian partisans in WW2. He provided shelter and hid them. He hid them so well that nobody could find the bodies".
Re: Miscreants will be hard pressed to find bash on embedded systems
Not necessarily. QNAP is not the only system to deploy a (badly) embedded fat linux distro. IIRC some dlink boxes do it too.There are others.
To add insult to injury the ones that embed a "fatter" distro are the ones where you are likely to find something clueless like using bash in a web ui.
When the shades of night are falling
Comes a fellow ev'ryone knows
It's the old dope peddler
Spreading joy wherever he goes
Every evening you will find him
Around our neighborhood
It's the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good
He gives the kids free samples
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele
Tom Leher, "The Old Dope Peddler"
Re: auth-user-pass-verify Option
The most common setup for OpenVPN is to use client certificates. I have been using it for ~ 10 years now. Out of those ~ 3-4 years were also to run VPN access for an SMB. I have never ever set it for passwords.
Even if I would have set it for passwords I would have given it a perl or python script to execute so it connects to something useful in terms of passwords f.e. LDAP/AD. In order to connect for that you need appropriate modules, etc and bash does not have them.
This is an interesting authenticated attack vector (if you have stolen certs or passwords). While bash for password verification is rare, you are quite likely to find it in places where openvpn invokes various scripts once connection has been established.
Sarcasm not needed - there are a couple of models of renault which have legendary reliability if serviced correctly:
* Renault 4 - you can still see them running in southern Europe till this day. If serviced correctly it will continue to run.
* Clio MK-1, the 1.4 engine - again, I have owned 3 of those over the years in different countries and one of them is still running till this day after I handed it down to relatives. Not bad for a car which has left the assembly line in 1989.
The trick with the old Renaults is to replace every 10 years (or force-flush every 5) the radiator. It gets clogged up, the engine overheats and then you are thanking Renault reliability on the side of the road. There are a couple of ther (lesser) bits which need attention and which you will not find in Haynes or the Renault service manual. If you regularly take care of these an old small(note the emphasis on small) Renault like Twingo Mk1, Clio Mk1, Renault 4 (to a lesser extent 5), etc will run and run.
Renault has always sucked at two things - large cars (on all counts - all variants of Espace have always been a complete and unmitigated disaster) and electronics. As they have stuffed all their new ones with electronics to the gills it has become a definitive disaster at the roadside.
1. Renault has barely caught up with Daihatsu from ~ 2000. My old 2003/2004 Sirions (got two of them, one in UK, one abroad) can do a sub-9m turning circle, comply with pedestrian safety (it is the first car to do so and the car that made the Eu tell the manufacturers to stop claiming it is impossible and change the regs), have a bigger boot, hit 0-60 sub-9s and can go onto a dirt track and offroad (the 4x4 one I keep abroad for that exact purpose).
2. Renault has lost the plot in the area which was its core competency amidst European manufacturers - making small cars that do not suck. If you compare Twingo Mk1 to Peugeot 105 the Twingo wins hands down. Other manufacturers (vw Lupo, 90-es Ford Fiasco, etc) do not come even close. Well... no more... It is a rebadge of the Smart engineering disaster now.
There is a difference between you, me and the so called "creative professionals".
If you look at the current crop of "creative professionals", they "create" by lifting something out of Shutterstock or getty. In fact, not even that - steal an image from a social site is the main means nowdays. If this is interfaced to an "search, open & pay/steal" function natively it may find some audience.
In the meantime the dolts like you and me that are still silly enough to take pictures, work with them in raw, etc will contiue to need a local installation.
This will be interesting to watch
Ukraine's has pervasive top-to-bottom corruption. This is something that does not change regardless of which gang is in charge - Kutchma, PM*LF, Russian Marionnettes, USA Marionettes - they are all the same as far as "anything and anyone can be bought" is concerned.
This has resulted in most of Eastern European cyber (and conventional) crime (including a lot of the Russian syndicates) relocating their operations there. As recently as 3-5 years ago most of Eu electronic and card fraud ran through Romania and Bulgaria. Found an ATM skimmer on your street cash machine? It was nearly guaranteed to be of made in Balkans (TM). Some of them were technoglogical gems too - remote operation via bluetooth, authentic full fascia to fit on top of a standard NCR so it does not look out of place, etc. Well - not any more - a lot of that has moved to Ukraine. The same is happening with Russia - as more and more of the black market goes legit and needs legit and working banking services, the syndicates try to move to more permissive neighbouring countries. Add to that the remnants (a lot of it is in the USA now) of the traditional mob fostered by decades of special restrictions on minorities access to professional career and education introduced by Stalin (the so called Odessa mob) and you have a very interesting picture.
IMHO, this makes the Eu association idea particularly interesting. Is the Eu ready to associate itself with that and how it will deal with that. I am not sure they are aware of the can of worms they just opened. They cried wolf for 10 years about Bulgaria being run by the mob. Well... Compared to Ukraine, most Bulgarian mobsters are bunch of "Chavdarcheta" (the BG socialist equivalent of a boyscout).
The study shows exactly what we have known all along
Income study is correct, the conclusions by Mr Worstall are a bit different from what I would have made out of it.
1. The study shows what we have noticed all along - that income rise is slowest in the 60-90 percentile band. That is what used to be called the "white collar" - engineers, qualified labour, professionals. Globalization or not, this continues to be decimated. Some of it is natural - you used to need a tehcnically qualified person for each 20-30 workers. You now need one per thousands (if not tens of thousands). Technology has allowed it and the graph reflects that.
2. Blue collar (or its replacement - the zero contract floater) average income as a statistic when averaged across whole of the world has increased. Again, nothing new here. Globalization has clearly played the part here - if we redo the same graphic for let's say UK it will be different. We will see a _NEGATIVE_ growth in absolute dollars (this is what the national statistics say) growth across 0-97% percentile over the last decade. Moving the stats to wo decades may bring things above 10-20%, but not more. The sub-3% to percentile will however have not 100%, it will have 500%+ rise. This is also what the stats say. If we go to anywhere else in Western Europe it will not be any different either.
Re: Headline should read "Note 3 Twice as Strong as iPhone 6"
Quote: "Open invitation to Fandroids"...
I suspect all of you, consumer reports and the people who are reporting bending it are right.
Consumer reports (and your less scientific test) can be summarized as "you are holding it wrong". It clearly does not bend if:
1. You apply force in the middle
2. If you apply force evenly
3. If you apply force at a right angle to the phone
This does not mean that it does not have a specific structural weekness which allows it to bend if you twist it, apply force to a corner, etc.
It has been a while since I have re-read Sakyo Komatsu, "The Death of a Dragon"...
I have had some basic sensors at my mom's house for 4 (or 5) years - bluetooth scan to see if her phone is around and on (she refuses to use a "smart" phone wants a simple clamshell), CCTV, etc.
The problem is that there is a very high rate of false positives and bitrot. If you do not tend to it regularly you will find another glazed china mouse collecting dust right in front of the motion sensor or the cctv camera exactly when you need them to work.
In any case, the setup misses the most reliable indicator that your fav pensioner is all right. Tracking that is trivial. All you need is LIRC with the correct files for her remote controls. If a 70 years old has not touched the TV for more than 3 hours, that usually means trouble.
There is also timing advance to consider
Not just that - GSM has a top speed at which an object can move towards or from tower. While 3G does not have the equivalent of the timing advance it cannot alter the power fast enough. LTE in theory can, but you have to do some interesting stuff which the a regular phone is incapable of (not all of US plane broadband is satellite, some is LTE with specialized receivers now).
So with the exemption of a short period after takeoff and before landing (when the airlines are likely to prohibit calls anyway) you cannot use the phone anyway. So anyone yapping on the phone will be yapping via the onboard femtocell and will be paying "ferry" roaming fees for that in the 1-3Eu per minute range.
It has taken 10 years and lots of lobbying to get there (first test of ip.access 2G BTS on a plane was circa 2003). In fact we finally got there only because the 1Eu per minute has become a great temptation for operators. It is lots of money when you compare it to the backdrop of mandated roaming tariffs.
Even perl has some resemblance of CGI security
Even perl has a resemblance of the applicable security features you need for CGI. In fact, it is probably better on that front than PHP.
Bash has none. It does not belong in a CGI end of story. Any idiot sticking bash in a CGI is frankly asking for it and they are most likely exploitable via 20 other different ways besides Shell Shock.
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