59 posts • joined 15 Aug 2011
@ James Hughes 1
Eat your own dog food Mr. Hughes and proof read your own comments - e.g I suggest "than" rather than "that". But Merry Christmas etc. No offence intended. :-)
As a programmer, dates have always been a bugbear with me, so I usually used to change any user entered date into a "safe" format - e.g.10/8/11 into "10 Aug 2011" to ensure unambiguity. Course, it doesn't particularly help if our USA cousins put the month in first. Daftest idea ever. 9/11 ? It's the eleventh of september you daft buggers.
I'm no expert on this, but I understand there's already tons of space debris up there already.
And I had to laugh at your comment about whales coming down from space. It would save barbequing it after it came through the stratosphere. I wonder (prior to coming back to earth) it thought, I can hardly breath - oh hang on, I've got a little hole above my head - that will help.
Shouldn't there be a self-destruct mode so if nothing else it comes down in small bits. Don't particularly want a satelite landing on my head.
Big wheels !
Where does the phrase "with wheels the size of a two-storey house." come in? Is it just sarcasm or something, Because you must have a very small two-storey house. They look like typically lorry sized wheels to me.
Once again I'm grumpy about everything prefixed with "i". Gets on my tits.
iAm going to do something more useful than ranting, hardy ha.
Many phones are "free" once you tie youself into a 2 year contract at £30 a month. Not exactly free. Mobile companies piss me off and they are all pretty much the same. COME THE REVOLUTION! (please).
Rubik cube solution
I remember seeing a video of a kid solving it very quickly. It was quicker than taking the coloured stickers off the cubes and put them in the right order..Bugger!
Collecting my personal info
which unencrypted, left on a laptop and said laptop left on a train. Yet again, another example of a screw-up involving personal details.
I don't own any Apple products because I think they're overpriced. Don't suppose I can complain about the general quality, but that's a subjective opinion, since I haven't used one.
Grumpy complaint about mobiles
Why is it that mobile providers all (pretty much) charge a typical £30 per month for a tie-in contract for two years. I bought a great Samsung Galaxy S and paid a bit up front for the phone, but I was quite stupid because the pay up front price added to the monthly cheaper rental ended up costing about the same as just taking the free phone and paying the full monthly fee. I wish some company would come out with cheaper prices and hope then that others will follow.
"Something that works and looks great, just like my wife." Way to get brownie points mate.
And what happened to Political Correctness...
Why isn't the baby's face mosaiced to indistintion !
Pedestrian crossing buttons.
Many of these are a waste of money - they give the illusion that the pedestrian is in control, but in bigger traffic junctions, it's all to do with the timing of the traffic lights. And while I'm ranting, With proper pedestrian crossings why the hell is the delay at the start after pressing the button. To my mind, the lights should change fairly immediately to allow you to cross and have the pause at the end. </rant>
My cheapish ones had rubber ends that were interchangable, but came off a bit too easily. I'd lost one and couldn't find it in my coat etc. Anyway after three days I started to get a pain below my ear. To cut a long story short, the rubber end had been lapsed in my ear canal, so I had to go to the A&E (ER for you American cousins).
So after some pain and a big pair of tweezers (more like pliers) they managed to get it out. So it's external headphones for me now - though they don't do a good job of keeping external sound out.
I'm surpised that so many technical people on this site make so many typographical mistakes - doesn't bode well for their software! I can only assume that they are in a rush and bash out a quick reply to a post. <grumpy done />
121 Years in England means...
...You must serve a minimum of 3. Disgusting peedo got a "life" sentence but was told he had to serve the 3 minimum. British justice is shite.
Not an Apple fanboi
I have no Apple products and can't see me buying one. They may be decent quality or better, but they are expensive and seem to lock you in to their evil empire (apologies to the late Mr. Jobs)
I went to buy a new MP3 player recently and the Sony one I got before was perfectly OK at around £40 or less. But the Apple ones were in the hundreds of £'s which is just ridiculous and then you (I think) are tied into ITunes and DRM issues.
Pah! I say PAH!
For the record my phone is a Samsung Galaxy S (the first one, not the new one) and I love it. If you've never tried it, you have to give the Swype system a try - creating a text or other document without (mostly) typing. Run your fingers around the screen keys and it usually gets it right. You don't even need to be that accurate. Much faster than typing on a screen keyboard. Wish I had something similar in my programming editor.
Oh well, that's my rant over.
Yet another company or product starting with the "i". Really gets on my tits. Yes i (hardy ha) am fed up with it.
Well said Sir.
Ooh Thomas 4... Dangerous ground
Lightning may strike twice :-) Don't shelter under any trees or fly a kite.
Re Vroom - Hope...
.. Your "other half" doesn't access your El Reg account, otherwise you'll be spending more money on shoes and clothing and have nothing left for gaming (Fail!, ha ha)
Not entirely relevant but...
I was on a plane once, going on holiday, but there were some technical problems and they had to switch off the plane and restart it - re-boot obviously. As a techno geek, I immediately thought; is the plane running Windows? And then of course to labour the point, you have to close down the window blinds before take-off and landing. Shutting down Windows.
Can't believe that..
"They" (most banks) always say we will never ask you for bank details/personal stuff and you shouldn't send those details. So I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. B Tasker - good job I didn't call you Ben (whoops). Probably not your name anyway. Can you please reply with your bank details so I can (probably) put in a small contribution ;-)
What's this Linux that people keep talking about. I thought it was some sort of medical condition. (Kidding really - I used to have a Red Hat) Mind you, at least it will get the Microsofties annoyed.
On a side note, I do think that "Linux" is a great Viking warrior name, whereas Microsoft is (obiously) a small softy thing/person.
I apologise up front because I don't know this man or his work, but shirley you intelligent people should have come up with the fact that biscuit ends with I.T. Excuse the dots in the abbreviation but I started to do Morse Code but I failed the exam - dash it !
Oh dear, it's official - I'm an old geek. After weeks of watching The big bang theory - which I probably recorded for totally different purposes by mistake, based on the title, I just clicked on El Reg's title about supercomputing. Because I want one!
But of course the ladies would politely say, size doesn't matter. But that's probably wrong too. When I'm in bed with a lady, I just calll it Dark Matter. (Mind you the smart arse lady usually replies - that's obviously string theory.)
Do the classic British thing and ring in sick. "Doctor says I need two weeks off".
I can get away with that because I'm "between jobs" anyway. Not that I'd buy anything that starts with "i".
Even kids say - I spy with my little eye (whoops, oh hang on a sec...)
Re: Ironing board
I can just imagine the missus coming into the room and saying - what are you doing?
I'm just ironing love.
What's that revving noise?
Oh I just souped up the iron.
Not affiliated with them, but I have used happyprinter.co.uk for a while and been impressed with the quick service, cheap cartridges and the fact they worked fine in my Canon printer, despite all the usual comments from manufacturers you should only use branded (or shall we say, bloody expensive) replacement ink.
Just my opinion. [Bored on a sunday morning - talking about ink cartridges, Jeez!]
You know what older people say...
There's not enough coppers around.
And "in my day", you could just post a letter. Non of this new-fangled telephone thing.
Hey, let's sue Apple for once
The post said it has a white body. Oooooh. I don't think that is PC (Alright, double crap joke there, but I had to do it).
Once again... me...grumpy says
Why the hell do we derive words from Greek or Latin?
So... "Oleophobic" (from the Greek (oleo) "oil") in the article
But why not just OilPhobic. Scared of Oil ?
I know, I know, some smart arsed Greek/Latin person will say, actually "phobic" comes from... well insert what ever word you want to.... (Yes I've had a bad day!) But good luck to you ladies and gents for tomorrow.
Re: Beta? (@rvt)
Absolutely bloody agree with you about Google and others using "Beta" on every product. The Google+ thing even said there was a field trial _before_ the Beta version came out! [Sorry to do this - but did cows do a field trial and then said - there's a beta one over there]
Anyway, just release version 1 and send out tons of patches afterwards like a major USA software mangler (sorry, development company).
Footnote - Might as well go through the whole Greek Alpha... (pun intended) ...bet. Windows will be OK because when they get to version Delta, there'll be some changes ;-)
That was a terrible posting so I'll get both my coats.
I think "dickhead" is the answer
All well and good until...
... they have to reboot you. (I think they said that to Wellington too)
I don't really care...
Domain names are pretty rubbish anyway. The only benefit I can see is to protect the children.
I was thinking about registering ArseAboutFacebook but it may be already taken (Can't be arsed to look, ironically)
No wonder you posted as an AC with a comment like that about your wife.
But there again, if you didn't, she may have been tried for Assault and Battery.
My, my. Old code
I remember writing code in Z80 Assembler at Uni to produce a LAN system. Crikey, I used to be pretty clever. (Sound of personal trumpet blowing noisily). Of course I can't even open the Windows now... :-)
I would carry on and say "Wow, see how sharp he is now", but I'll be shot down in flames probably.
Absolute nightmare. How can you write a prog when you can only fit ten boxes on a page. Who the hell invented that!
And the sodding triangle, where you could only fit one or two words in there.
Perhaps that was when "Goto" was invented. Goto the next bloody page, it won't fit here.
You had to define "API" on a developer's forum! Hopefully, you'll know what the Icon stands for without looking it up on Wankapedia..
We won't be allowed to eat Apples without being sued. I might switch to Oranges (oh hang on a minute...)
AC 10:11 - Mets
"Not with the Met around"
Those metereological types can be really harsh. Always raining on my parade.
I'm not an astro guy or physicist, but I don't get where they come up with names for newly discovered planetary bodies (Yes I've heard of Kepler) but please; "Kepler-16b" What happened to 16a. Was that the Beta version? And were/are there 15 others?
Slightly off topic but it seems to be the same for when they discover a new animal or insect - they name it after the "Latin" for ... whatever. Why not invent a new english word. Jellyfish comes to mind - a sensible description - but not floppytae subterae.
Ironically, I couldn't be bothered to write anything else to fit in a small sentence.
... has a different meaning to some people (unless that was your intention?)
I find sellotape efficiently prevents dogs/cats etc moulting, and hence saves on vacuuming too.
I managed to cool my CPU to around -273 C but then all my applications stopped for some reason. Oh hang on, I was trying to run Windows... That explains it.
Your little joke made me chuckle. You should change your nickname to "TeeHee".
Fondleslab / Phone
Couldn't see me holding a fondleslab to my ear on the train to answer the phone.
- Mounties always get their man: Heartbleed 'hacker', 19, CUFFED
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- Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen
- AMD demos 'Berlin' Opteron, world's first heterogeneous system architecture server chip
- OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs