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* Posts by Bracken Dawson

177 posts • joined 14 Jun 2007

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Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure

Bracken Dawson

Remember when El Reg could spell?

I don't. :-P

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BIG, CURVY Apple models: Just right for SLAP AND TICKLE

Bracken Dawson

Witness...

Witness, Apple market research in progress.

Hint: They're not making a squishy phone.

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Half-Life 3: CONFIRMED?

Bracken Dawson

It's happening!

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Douglas Adams was RIGHT! TINY ALIENS are invading Earth, say boffins

Bracken Dawson

Had to...

I for one welcome our new microbial overlords.

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iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

Bracken Dawson

bias?

They're all deluded fanbois.

Sent from my iPhone.

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Storage rage: Like getting a nice steak and being told to only eat 80% of it

Bracken Dawson

Storagebod working for BBC watchdog?

This reminds me of the story of cinemas charging a lot for popcorn, the beeb sees a greedy cinema raking it in on popcorn sales, the reality is a business barely afloat and that a fiver plus a few quid on 20 pence worth of popcorn is what it costs to watch a movie now. If us vendors stopped charging for the last 20% tomorrow, we'd charge you more for the first 80%, it would be no different.

But! There is a difference here, the vendor who can let you reliably keep 1% spare will win, it will drive innovation, and not just in the product. Go on, everyone ask for it.

But first, ask for your drives to be picked from different batches, we could at least halve double disk failures if we tried.

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Buy a household 3D printer, it'll pay for itself in MONTHS!

Bracken Dawson

Not if...

Not if all you print is that tool for squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Bracken Dawson

Great...

It's already hard enough to stop my ISP from breaking DNS.

eg:

I want to find Hypercompuglobalmeganet's home page, I'll just type that into my broswer and let it google for it.

Followed by: BT has detected that the web page is not available.

Oh sod off, where is the opt out for this crap?

Seriously tempted to pay for a pure DNS service from someone else.

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Just what is Big Blue now shipping exclusively to the Chinese?

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Re: Any word on how many back doors to the NSA is in this equipment?

None whatsoever. But then, what would I say if there were?

</blackhelicopters>

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Buffalo herds DDR3 RAMs into DriveStation's spinning rust corrals

Bracken Dawson
Devil

RAM caches do work.

A RAM cache is a nice thing to have, they can work very very well. It isn't ever going to drive the RAM flat out over USB3, but it will be faster than the disk alone. It's not entirely pointless.

I wonder what happens when you unplug it?

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Oi, butterfingers! Drop your mobe in a pint? Hope it's not an iPhone

Bracken Dawson
Devil

Half a second?

The Samsung lasts 18.8 seconds and the iPhone only lasts 18.3 seconds? Well the iPhone is clearly utter tat compared to the shining beacon that is the Sams... oh wait they're both dead.

If you drop your smartphone in a pint you better hope it was an empty...

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Dot Hill: Performance isn't everything... check out our, er, cheap capacity

Bracken Dawson
Meh

More valid than most rubbish I see in Reg Comments.

Yes I appreciate the irony.

SPC-1 definitely has to be interpreted, a big box of RAM isn't suitable for everyone (anyone?)

They're trying to say they've made a high capacity box that doesn't perform like a dog or cost a lot, and they're sitting amongst the frontrunners in that race, over toward the capacity flank. Doesn't "stand out" though.

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Apple said to develop curved glass iWatch with Foxconn

Bracken Dawson

Cover up

Hype to hide that they are doing an iCamera, shortly they'll get sued by Samsung again over their android cameras...

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Reg Hardware Awards 2012: The Winners...

Bracken Dawson
Mushroom

DayZ

You are wrong, game of the year is DayZ.

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How to destroy a brand-new Samsung laptop: Boot Linux on it

Bracken Dawson

UEFI sucks really hard

It just does, doesn't matter what the box is, it will be littered with bugs if it has an EFI BIOS.

I can't actually get into the BIOS setup on my Gigabyte Z77 board if the SATA mode is RAID, I've wired the clear cmos jumper to the front panel reset button to get around this problem.

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Don't like your cell network? Legal unlocking ends TONIGHT in US

Bracken Dawson

What are they going to do?

What are they going to do, DMCA take down request? LOL!

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Sheffield ISP: You don't need a whole IPv4 address to yourself, right?

Bracken Dawson

fc00::2

Just give us IP6, the addresses are totally shorter.

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Facebook snubs storage barons for cheapo Far East kit - insiders

Bracken Dawson

Back doors

Back doors are a Holywood thing...

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Software sucks these days - and just maybe it's all YOUR fault

Bracken Dawson
Facepalm

Slow software

I do agree, I'm not keen on the tendency to develop far faster, usually. Firefox for example, I still can't move my bookmarks around, how can you go through tens of major releases and not fix that. But the excuse these companies always use is that they have to do this in order to compete, which means people are buying it, STOP BUYING IT!

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Cockatoo grabs his tool, manages to get hold of boffins' nuts

Bracken Dawson
Joke

I for one welcome our new stick wielding cockatoo overlords.

Someone had to.

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Six months under water and iPhone 4 STILL WORKS

Bracken Dawson

notruf

"notruf" is German for "emergancy call"...

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Politico's locked room mystery Linux install crime solved

Bracken Dawson
Trollface

So he had his windows broken and then he broke his windows?

Taxi!

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Huawei: Half a million IOPS? Pah, we can do better

Bracken Dawson

https://www.ibm.com/developerworks/mydeveloperworks/blogs/storagevirtualization/entry/svc6.3.0_spc1_500kiops?lang=en

Is the disk famine over yet?

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Fusion-io flies into flash SAN space

Bracken Dawson

Re: ok, I'll ask...

At half a million $ for 1.5TB, apparently not.

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US county named 'area of outstanding natural stupidity'

Bracken Dawson
FAIL

Not AOONS at all...

Upon reading the article, it is clear that none of the incidents mentioned qualify for a Darwin Award, by your own definition; this is not an AOONS. I must insist that you publish a retraction.

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Phone-raiding Trojan slips past Apple’s App Store censors

Bracken Dawson
Thumb Down

Thought this was about Facebook...

Little difference TBH.

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Puny US particle punisher finds strong evidence for God particle

Bracken Dawson
WTF?

Nice article, shame about the title.

Has anyone had any idea what a Reg article is about before reading it in the last couple of years? Granted this one is ok, the "god particle" in this title is a well known term now (even if it's a ****** term used by idiot hipsters). But it's been a long time since I've seen a title make a lot sense now: "Dell drowns competition with defective ducks..." WTF!?

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Microsoft: Don't overclock Windows 8 unless you like our new BSOD

Bracken Dawson

Fuck me this is news!

Chips running right up against the limit crash!!!!

This does not change at all in Windoze 8, just looks different. Carry on.

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That new 'Microsoft GCSE': We reveal what's in it

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

So what's in it?

Go on, feel free to tell us if you know...

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'You don't have to take Prozac to work at Capita - but it helps'

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Maybe...

Maybe they should stop presenting their clients users with such a shitty GUI?

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LOHAN seeks failsafe for explosive climax

Bracken Dawson
Boffin

Works at altitude?

Can that parachute open forcefully enough to pull the chord in the thin air at ~100,000ft?

Could I suggest an alternative which detects lift from the baloon: http://iamtheb.org/me/weightdetector.GIF

Aerodynamics have no part to play. No unreliable pin to pull. Spring still ensures electrical contact.

When the weight of the payload is zero, it is in freefall. Keep the tube long to account for turbulence.

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Hackers expose 6.5 MILLION 'LinkedIn passwords'

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Is it real?

Worst case:

The file name is combo_not.txt, so it may just be a list of just the hashes that a simple dictionary attack could not solve. The cracker really has every detail from every account but didn't share it.

Best case:

Some joker just published an sha-1 of the Oxford English....

I suspect we will never know. Change your passwords.

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UPS death in Pulsant data centre knocks out websites

Bracken Dawson
Mushroom

Partial power disruption during scheduled maintenance.

Partial power disruption during scheduled maintenance = somebody tripped over the chord.

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Giant paper plane thunders across Arizona sky

Bracken Dawson

Looks like falling to me...

Nuff said.

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Facebook: Your boss asks for your password, we'll sue him! Maybe

Bracken Dawson
Thumb Down

Two ways to dissuede intelligent applicants...

1. Attempting to gain access to social media content that you otherwise cannot.

2. Requiring pain in the arse assessments, like a 15 minute automated skype video interview which gives you 5 minutes to answer each question to camera. I wouldn't have done that even if I did have a fast enough broadband connection back then.

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Workers can't escape Windows 8 Metro - Microsoft COO

Bracken Dawson

What does windows 8 look like?

I have been attempting to google this but I simply cannot find anything that I'm sure is what Windows 8 looks like...

This might be because IBM allows me to use ANY OS which meets the security requirements, and I'm used to a sensible gnome desktop.

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Apple: We never said Siri would actually work in the UK

Bracken Dawson
FAIL

Telstra?

Do they have "pubs" in Austrailia?

Clearly Siri doesn't work their either.

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The God Box: Searching for the holy grail array

Bracken Dawson
Paris Hilton

Sounds like...

...a product for a storage admin who is unable to think about what the application actually needs. We're never going to see this for one big reason, a thing with everything will always cost more than a thing with what you need.

I'd love to try and do Virtualisation in a server located thing though, decentralised replication, eeer, QoS definately required.

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Gelsinger pops lid on top-secret EMC Lightning code

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Err...

OH! MY! GOD! Two flash cards have the same heat-spreader!!

They're not even the same profile...

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WD outs 6TB monster drive

Bracken Dawson

Not a drive.

That, sir, is an array.

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Poll confirms Reg Hardware readers' verdict

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Best or most popular?

Is the survey adjusted to consider the number of people who have used each service?

SuperDuperISP could be the best thing ever and have only 10 users take the survey, so come in low.

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WTF is... wireless HDMI?

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Goose objection.

This seems like a great way to spill gigabytes of traffic into the air making it even harder to use WiFi. All for devices which for their years of life; NEVER MOVE!

It should be illegal for stuff that sits still to use wireless connections, use a cable FFS!

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The cost of not deduping

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

"dedupe is coming next year"

We'll keep hearing this line for a while.

Get ready to not really be sure how much storage you actually have. Someone could wipe out heaps of back end by simply using "Find and Replace". But then thin provisioning is a bit like this already.

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Wot? No glasses! Tosh goes 3D crazy

Bracken Dawson
Thumb Down

Are they not listening?

Nobody wants 3D, NOBODY!

Most of the "3D" media you can get (with the exception of toy story) is not 3D, it's a 2D video which has been made selectively blurry and all out of kilter by Intel, who seem to think they have a way to turn 2D movies into stunning 3D. Intel; you can't, just stop it.

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Ford cars get draconian parental controls

Bracken Dawson
Black Helicopters

Speaking as a first born...

...my younger brother was far more restricted than me. Though he has written off 4 cars in 8 crashes to my faultless record. My parents saw this difference coming long before we started driving.

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Brits say 'no, no, no' to 3D TV

Bracken Dawson
Thumb Down

It's because...

...3D TV is shit.

I have never been impressed, it makes my eyes and brain hurt watching it. The sooner the craze (lol) dies down again the better.

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Tech grads least likely to find a job

Bracken Dawson

Piece of cake finding a job I found.

And quite ironic that the adds in the page are IBM. Plenty of IT companies hiring record numbers of grads now.

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KeyCase iPad Folio Deluxe

Bracken Dawson

Familiar

Looks like the drawing from one of the winners of that competition a few years back.

PS. My T-shirt is way too big.

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Screwpop Tool

Bracken Dawson

Did anyone else see the black mesa logo?

I want that now.

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Bloggers swallow iPhone 4 screen weakness claim

Bracken Dawson

Stop deceiving people with maths.

There are 82% more claims for screen breakages, this is true, but there are more claims overall. The likelihood that a screen will break is nothing like 82 more. We'd need to know the number of policies held to draw a useful comparison. So far all we can be sure of is the iPhone 4 is more popular than the 3GS.

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