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* Posts by wolfetone

346 posts • joined 6 Aug 2011

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The internet just BROKE under its own weight – we explain how

wolfetone
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Re: Dead Packets' Society!

We must get Patch Adams immediately!

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What's the nature of your emergency, Vodafone?

wolfetone
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What exactly is the point?

This advert has been out for months now, and how many customers do you think had signed up to Vodafone based on the idea that they are a network so reliable that the emergency services use them? I don't know the number, but it's a number of customers who weren't with O2 before the ruling, and won't be with O2 after the ruling.

In other news, escaped horse see's owners close stable door after leaving.

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Hollywood star Robin Williams dies of 'suspected suicide' at 63

wolfetone
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Nothing shameless about that plug. Have a +1 on me.

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wolfetone
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"Suicide is the permanent solution to a temporary problem"

The film escapes me at the moment, but this is the very line he said. It's sad to think that he felt that it was the only solution to what was troubling him. It's sadder still to remember that he would go around to see Christopher Reeve when he was paralysied to cheer him up, to bring some laughter to his friend when he never felt like laughing. It's so sad to think that he felt no one was there for him when he needed help.

The first film I saw him in was Mrs.Doubtfire, I was no older than 7 at the time and the family would watch it religiously nearly every Friday/Saturday night. He was incredible in that film. But then again, was he ever really bad in any of the films he was in? I remember "One Hour Photo" being panned, along with "Bicentennial Man". But Mr.Williams was fantastic in both.

As stupid as this sounds, I want to say more about a man I never met or knew but only saw through films, and I've tears in my eyes thinking about how I felt in all the films he was in as I saw them as a child.

RIP.

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WinPhone's Halo hottie Cortana to hit desktop in next Windows – report

wolfetone
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"Cortana, can you Google how to make a cake?"

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

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London cops cuff 20-year-old man for unblocking blocked websites

wolfetone
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Re: Short term memory loss

That's exactly it! He spent all his time before the holiday saying it wouldn't happen. The sunshine and sangria must have gone to his head then, because he came back and had the totally different stance.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who remembers this.

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wolfetone
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Short term memory loss

Remember back when Labour "ran" the country, and Lord Mandelson was on a lovely holiday with his friends in the music industry. Shortly after this holiday, he came back and the Government came up with the digital rights act (the proper name escapes me) - basically the bill that allows the Police to do these types of things.

At the end of the day, to quote Chomsky "Government is there to protect property from the majority". The Police aren't there to protect the tax payer, the normal joe. They are there to protect the interests of the Government's friends.

I would also suspect that soon we will get to a point where anyone who uses Tor or a VPN to access the Internet will be arrested "under suspicion" of accessing websites we shouldn't be accessing. That day will come, and it'll come soon unfortunately.

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Newly spawned Dixons Carphone leaps onto LSE as £12bn sales org

wolfetone
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Re: All the dodgies together

That's a shame really as Carphone Warehouse are actually really good. I've only bought phones from them, as the sales tactics of Phones 4U really piss me off.

"How much are you looking to spend on a contract?"

"About £25 a month. Nothing more."

"OK Let me check."

*** Sales rep goes off to find a ring binder, comes back ***

"For £35 a month you can get this.."

"I said no more than £25"

"But look at the phone you're getting for £35!"

"But I said no more than £25, so either give me something for £25 a month or give me that £35 a month phone for £25."

*** Sales rep goes off to find the manager ***

"Tell you what, I'll give you £75 right now if you take the £35 a month option."

"It's a 24 month contract, so I'd still be paying about £32 a month."

"Yes you would."

"But I said no more than £25 a month for a contract phone."

"Yes but this is such a good offer"

*** I promptly walk out after 30 minutes of "haggling" ***

-------

*** Walks in to Carphone Warehouse ***

"I want a £25 a month contract phone."

"Any preference to network?"

"No"

"Any preference to phone?"

"Not an iPhone"

"OK."

*** Sales rep uses computer, finds a phone ***

"Here's one, would you like to go for that?"

"Yeah OK"

*** Sales rep gets phone, I sign up, everyone's happy ***

Moral of the story: Never buy a phone from Phones 4U.

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BlackBerry boss John Chen: We're FINISHED (with the job cuts)

wolfetone
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Re: re: redundant within 3 months

" a usable mail editor (I have to use K9 mail)"

Can you expand on this? I've a Z10 and the email client is fantastic, especially email editing. This is further compounded by my Z10 needing a repair and I'm using a Huawei Android handset at the moment. It is very much like driving a Kia Picanto when you've spent the last 12 months driving a Mercedes S-Class.

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Shuffling Zombie Juror – aka Linux kernel 3.16 – wants to eat … ARMs?

wolfetone
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I'm happy with Linux 3.11 for Workgroups, thank you very much

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

wolfetone
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Re: Offensive to Brummies

The Cockenese daaan laaandan are only jealous of us Brummies because we're trusted to build Jaguars, where as the Cockenese would only go joy riding in them pretending to be gangsters.

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BlackBerry: We'll buy Angela Merkel's phone security company. HA!

wolfetone
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They're resorting to typewriters and walks in the park now. Both of which are available in Germany.

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50,000 sites backdoored through shoddy WordPress plugin

wolfetone
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Re: Old news - WordPress is a disaster

I don't know why you decided to be Anonymous, all you did was tell the truth.

WordPress is a horrid, bloated mess of a system. It's slow, and for it to do ANYTHING worthwhile you need to use about 10 plugins. It's the darling of Web Agencies across the world more for the fact you can get it out the door quickly rather than have a system that's built to spec for the client, that's secure and efficient.

The one to watch is October CMS, for me this is the WordPress killer I've been dreaming about. It's quick and secure, as it's built on the Laravel framework which in turn uses several Symfony components.

I look forward to WordPress' overdue demise.

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Major problems beset UK ISP filth filters: But it's OK, nobody uses them

wolfetone
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36% for TalkTalk?

Goes to show the type of customers they have.

Don't want their children to see some boobs on the internet, but don't mind them joining in on collective bullying/public shaming by watching X-Factor.

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Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

wolfetone
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Re: Rumour Has it

Imagine if he was driving along a bridge when he was startled by it, driving the car off the bridge. He'd be Rolling In The Deep....

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

wolfetone
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Maybe...

The hand isn't Luke's at all. Maybe it's from another dimension that will be opened up when the new WMD is fired, causing a split in space time and thus opening up the star wars universe to that of mickey mouse. Mickey Mouse gets pissed off with whoever the new Darth Vader is and gets Goofy and Daffy Duck to become fake storm troopers who then take on Darth Vader, stealing HIS light saber as Anakin Skywalker in Episode III (alternate dimension remember!), placing it back in in another planet where it is then found by some turncoat stormtrooper who then goes to find Luke.

I await the downvotes, but I'm telling you this is a far better story line than what Disney would come up with.

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Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery

wolfetone
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Re: At least...

Have to agree, especially the woman. I'd "tap-as"...

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YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

wolfetone
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Re: how long before...

You don't know how lucky you are boy, back in the SS, back in the SS, back in the SSSR.

If Scotland get independance, I'll be the first one to move there. Anything for a life without the Tories ruling over me.

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BT slapped down by BSkyB over O2 broadband 'switch off' porkies

wolfetone
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Re: Ironically....

"Sky are probably not much better, but they are better than BT, TalkTalk - now that's another story!"

Until there's a problem, then you're pulled and pushed between them like two warring parents. I was with Sky, left them for BE Broadband, and then had to leave BE when Sky bought them. Utter charlatans, the lot of them.

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wolfetone
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Re: Ironically....

Further more, notice the irony of a Rupert Murdoch organisation complaining about someone else telling lies about them?

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BlackBerry claims ugly duckling Passport mobe is a swan in the offing

wolfetone
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I'm looking forward to this handset. I've had a Z10 since they came out and I love it, but while the keyboard is the best I've used, I am longing for a physical keyboard. Also, it looks a fairly large device, which will be good for my shovel hands and baseball bat sized thumbs!

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

wolfetone
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My boss came to me not so long ago saying she had been downstairs.

Boss: "I've been with X and they showed me this website on their internet"

Me: "Their Internet?"

Boss: "Yes, their Internet. It's much quicker than my Internet up here."

The office has one internet connection that we all use. And for the record, it was a basic website, no CSS at all. So you can imagine how much quicker that would be compared to, lets say, the BBC website.

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Journal that published Facebook emoto-furtle study: Proper boffins get CONSENT

wolfetone
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There are two types of people involved with this

Those that care about what's happened, and Facebook. Who don't care.

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Use Tor or 'extremist' Tails Linux? Congrats, you're on an NSA list

wolfetone
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Re: Your name, too, will go on the list..

I've good mind, after writing to my MP, MEP, and Dennis Skinner, to go and download Tor. Ha! They can get fucked if they think they can see what I'm up to!!!

Oh....... shit.

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We need to talk about SPEAKERS: Sorry, 'audiophiles', only IT will break the sound barrier

wolfetone
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Needs more cowbell.

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PayPal says sorry: Fat fingers froze fundraiser for anti-spy ProtonMail

wolfetone
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Re: Oh dear

Russia definately think so (in regards to VISA and MasterCard), they're setting up their own services a la China and Japan.

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Cambridge Assessment exams CHAOS: Computing students' work may be BINNED

wolfetone
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Re: GCSE Computing still a joke????

"However blaming the teachers is a bit unfair*, successive governments have made the school curriculum ever more proscriptive, leaving little room for teachers to teach what they think is interesting. Of course that doesn't stop those same governments from blaming teachers for "failing to inspire" while trying to teach such an insipid syllabus."

You're right about the government, but teachers are still a problem. For a year I was a tutor at a college teaching IT. I was a newbie, wasn't qualified in teaching but I had real world experience in computing and qualifications to back it up. For the most part I was told what to teach as "it was part of the syllabus", so I didn't question it.

Part of the course for the kids (16 to 19 year olds - little bastards) was a "web design" unit. This, i thought, was brilliant. This was my bread and butter, something I excelled in and had/still do make a living from it. My mentor gave me all the relevant papers etc to give to the students, which I did - and I did it without reading which I accept was my own fault, a schoolboy error if you will. For the 2 hour lesson, I spent 30 minutes explaining the basics of HTML, CSS and very basic layout ideas. I then said carry out the tasks in the paper as it goes to their coursework.

About 20 minutes in to it, a student raises their hand and asks me how do they insert a table in Dreamweaver. I was a bit confused as to why he asked, but I told him how to do it. He seemed happy enough with the answer. Then another 10 minutes elapsed and another student asked how to turn the borders off of the table. I asked them why they were so bothered about tables and they pointed to the document, and I quote as near verbatim as I can: "All websites today are built using tables to give them structure..."

Hang the f**k on here, that's wrong. This wasn't done in industry, and I was farily certain that there was a usability issue there as well. So I leave the room and speak to the mentor and I said the paper is wrong. She looked at it and said "No it's not". In the nicest way possible I told her it was, no one has used a table for anything more than displaying data since about 2001, it's not industry practice and if these kids went to get a job in it (which I know 2 of them tried to do after the course) they'd be laughed at. She tried to shut me down with the old "It's in the syllabus", but I pointed out that no where did it tell them to use tables. It then transpired that she hadn't a clue how to do web design and that the document she gave me she had wrote about 10 years ago and hadn't changed it.

At this point I walked back in to the class, let them finish their work, and went straight to my line manager with a letter of resignation. There was more to it than this one instance, a lot of the tutors at this particular college all followed that train of thought, which in fairness to them comes from non-techie teachers saying it's a good technique to recycle past resources. You can do that in maths and english but you can't with IT.

These people though are endemic in education and need to be rooted out.

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wolfetone
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GCSE Computing still a joke????

I will have left school 10 years this summer, and the biggest regret I have (apart from not asking a particular girl out) in regards to my GCSE's was that I took ICT as a GCSE/GNVQ. I learnt absolutely NOTHING during that course, except how to make a PowerPoint presentation. I also recall during my GCSE's that OCR were trying to hit several barn doors with many banjo's and screwed up not only our GCSE year, but the subsequent years afterwards.

Exam boards, politicians, and the lazy arsed teachers who don't edit their teaching resources because they don't think they have time or they simply can't be bothered: it's children's futures at stake, and it's the education you're emparting to them that will make or break them. You empower them, inspire them to go out and get more from the world. But who the hell can get excited about the prospect of a career using Microsoft Word and PowerPoint?

Oh, and Michael Gove: You're an arse.

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BBC offers briefest of teasers for the next Doctor Who

wolfetone
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"One of the dumbest shows ever on TV. Including Judge Judy and the agony aunts."

No one EVER speaks like that about ANYTHING Malcolm Tucker is involved in!

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You need a list of specific unknowns we may encounter? Huh?

wolfetone
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Similar Situation

Except I'm not lucky enough to be a freelancer here any more, I'm on the payroll. I truly miss the days of being self employed/freelance. Sure I might have been a lot poorer but I had far more fun doing it than right now.

Roll on finishing my own project, the one project to get me out of paid underlingship and hello to being my own boss.

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New MH370 search zone picked using just seven satellite 'handshakes'

wolfetone
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The plane, if a major electrical fire occured, would NOT have flown for as long as it had (based on Inmarsat data). The autopilot would have disengaged due to the system being burnt up, along with other controls such as hydraulics. The engines, I would assume, could still run but the control surfaces wouldn't be responsive and could be blown out of shape from turbulence or other factors.

The rogue pilot theory is a bit daft too. It's easy to see why the theory has been made, remove evidence of what happened to the plane which could then lead to a life insurance payout. But there would be evidence of this at the pilots home, even with his bank accounts and/or other dealings.

The thing that bugs me most about this is when the flight is compared to the Air France flight that crashed in Brazil. Airbus received a tonne of messages from the plane listing failures, this didn't happen on the Boeing flight - and if it did Boeing haven't said anything about it. I don't think Airbus planes are any more advanced than Boeing planes, so Boeing could have these systems in place. And even if the systems were turned off so that they stopped reporting on the plane, that would immediately alert either the Malaysian Airlines ground crew or Boeing themselves. Even with the theory of a fire, systems dropping out all over the shop would be reported back to Boeing. I'm fairly sure even Rolls Royce get data fed back to their company in regards to engine performance.

I think, really, that this was a massive set up by a particular group of people or government. There have been a number of theories surrounding this, all plausible. The best one surrounds the theft of drone equipment in Afghanistan, which was then sold to the Chinese who were transporting it back on MH370. Only then for the USA to "take control" of the plane mid flight (aparently they have been able to do this since 9/11), fly it to their little island base and then unload the drone equipment. They then sent the plane back up in to the air with the cabin depressurised and let the plane fly until it ran out of fuel. Another theory surrounds Freescale Semiconductor, but you can Google this yourself.

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BlackBerry's Passport will be the WEIRDEST mobe of 2014

wolfetone
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Reminds me of that square looking LG smartphone from 2012. I'm looking forward to this and the "Classic" version. Probably the only two phones that I will want to have to replace my Z10.

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Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

wolfetone
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Re: Sacrificial lamb?

Didn't the News of The World continually report that Jails were like Holiday Camps? He has nothing to fear!

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Labour vows: We'll pause one-dole-to-rule-them-all for drastic fix-up if elected in 2015

wolfetone
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Re: Shame

An owl for every man in the UK?

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David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

wolfetone
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Devil

Cameron will surely lose the vote of the serial cheaters, who use the fact they can't get signal as an excuse for not picking the phone up to their wife/husband while banging away on their latest bit of fluff.

Cameron is truly out of touch with the UK public.

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'Heartbleed-based BYOD hack' pwns insurance giant Aviva's iPhones

wolfetone
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Well, it could be argued it is. If the staff all used BlackBerry's they would use the BlackBerry Services software that MobileIron immitates. Because Aviva want to save a few pounds and not issue their own handsets to their staff they decide to use this MobileIron thing instead, allowing BYOD harmony.

But I agree, it's not an iOS issue. I would also say it's not a MobileIron issue, it's a Heartbleed issue.

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wolfetone
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Ah Aviva, quoting BlackBerry happy.

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#YO_NO! Messaging app 'Yo' gets hit by hackers

wolfetone
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Makes sense now

I read somewhere that the price of someone's data is about $10 to $15. Yo gets $1,000,000 "investment", then this happens.

Sounds like this investment could be just a payment for user data.

And, Reg, if you could allow mobile users to select an icon when posting a comment that'd be great.

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Want a cheap iMac? TOO BAD. But you can have a slow one for $1,099

wolfetone
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Boffin

Call crap on it all you like. As long as the Macbook has an Intel Core 2 Duo CPU, you can run it.

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=1593194

Bazinga.

Also, you're point about the resale values of Mac's, that's down to the desire people have for it. Not the actual value of the hardware.

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wolfetone
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I've been anti-Apple since I started using computers properly. The main reason being that, for what they are, they are way over-priced. The only Apple product I own is a 120GB iPod bought for me for my 21st birthday and it's been a fine servant to me.

However, a new client wanted an iPhone app to compliment a web application I'm building for them. Try as I might to skirt the issue or to persuade them otherwise, they wanted the iPhone app. There as absolutely NO WAY I was going to pay over the price for an iMac or MacBook etc.

I just so happened to stumble across a late-2006 MacBook on eBay for £100. No hard drive, shagged battery, and aparently (but I haven't recreated it yet) it will turn itself off randomly. BUT, it has an Intel Core 2 Duo and it can run Mavericks on it.

Moral of the story, go on eBay and get yourself a MacBook and stil Mavericks on it. There is no need to pay £900+ on a fashion accessory.

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BlackBerry inks deal with Amazon to get Android apps on its mobes

wolfetone
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Re: Right direction.

No wonder you chose to be anonymous after that statement.

To the sheeple, and the wannabe-sheeple, BlackBerry is dead. You're right about that. My girlfriend has had a BlackBerry over the last 4 years and she now wants to go to iPhone. Not because she's unimpressed with my Z10, but because of peer pressure. All her friends have iPhones, and she must have one. It's the fashion, you can't blame her.

However, I used my BlackBerry Z10 for Internet, messaging, calls and emails. And my Z10 does all of these fantastically well. Because of a problem with my SIM card, 2 weeks ago I had to use an Android phone for a week. This is the first time in 2 years since owning a Samsung Galaxy S2 that I've had an Android phone. And in those 2 years Android hasn't improved it's email capability. It's still bloody awful. It took a good 2/3 minutes to sync with my two email accounts even over WiFi, and took a further 5/10 seconds to actually load a selected email. My Z10 however, loads the emails nearly instantly.

BlackBerry do business handsets brilliantly well, and they will continue to do so. So while the users of Android and iPhone think it's dead, it will not be dead in the areas of business where their phones are simply inadequate for the job.

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Irish court peels off gloves, hands Facebook PROBE request to ECJ

wolfetone
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Re: One Problem

The USA wouldn't be desperate to get Snowden back to America if it was all "uncorroborated hearsay".

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

wolfetone
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Re: @ wolfetone

Oh god yes, Jen is gorgeous. We need more of her on TV!

But thats by the by. He probably is one of these idiots who thinks the internet is in a small black box somewhere in the world and you could actually break it by either typing Google in to Google or "last page of the internet". The man is an idiot, and if he's in such a well paying job there is hope for me yet!

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wolfetone
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He obviously has Jen from The IT Crowd as his researcher.

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Microsoft eggheads publish JavaScript crypto code for devs

wolfetone
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NSA-compliant cloud services more like.

Lovely idea though.

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YouTube will nuke indie music videos in DAYS, says Google exec

wolfetone
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"If that's what it's all about, what happened to not being evil and all that?"

Google have no reason to live by the "don't be evil" moniker ever since they beat Microsoft in the search engine market, browser market, mobile phone market, online word processing market, etc etc. It was used at the time to make them look better than Microsoft. Google now can pretty much do whatever they like now, because you know as well as I do the great unwashed never "search for things on the internet" they "Google it" instead.

Screw Google. Screw them right between the o's.

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DANGER MOUSE is back ... and he isn't half a GLASSHOLE

wolfetone
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I have always said that if Pat Sharpe were to be arrested under Operation Yewtree then my childhood would be dead. I fear now with the release of this imposter called "Dangermouse 2.0", my childhood is now effectively dead.

Thank you BBC, no, really thank YOU. Arse.

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

wolfetone
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The Answer Is Under Our Noses

The majority of people these days will shop at Tesco, Sainsbury's or ASDA*. Most of these have a loyalty card of somekind, except for ASDA, so we will remove these from the list. So let's focus on Tesco and Sainsbury's.

Every month/6 weeks I will get a statement from Sainsbury's telling me where I got my Nectar points from. This comes from BP, Sainsbury's, eBay etc. Similar to the ClubCard statement, however you get a money off voucher and tokens giving you money off things you have bought previously or might like to try.

Now it's evident from these statements that the supermarkets know what we buy in store. They know that in a month I will buy a 4 pack of Magners and a ring of black pudding, then a few months down the line I will get a 50p off voucher off a bottle of Magners or "equivelent" cider. (Sidenote: Bulmers in the UK is no equivelent to Magners, it tastes of piss). So somewhere there is a big database whereby my total transaction is broken down in to what items were bought and in what quantity.

Back at the shop, their ordering system looks at this Database, and if it see me and 3 others buy a 4 pack of Magners they will think "goodness, there's a run on Magners. We will order more", and duly places the order at the distribution point. They get the order, whack it on the lorry, delivered on to the shelf. I then go back buy the product I effectively ordered a month ago by buying it in the first place.

I hope now you can see where I'm going with this. Supermarkets record what we buy, but they also record what they order and stock, and (hopefully) best before dates. It isn't hard for a supermarket to work out when products are approching their best before date and for the spending/consuming habits of the shopper.

We could, then, have a mobile app that links to our Nectar/Clubcard account that could then tell us what we have bought, when things go out of date etc. The user could then go through the list and check off what has been eaten/needs replacing as and when it's consumed. The app would do the work of alerting you to best before dates etc.

So yeah, an app that works out what you need to buy against what you have bought against when it's gone rotten. This post is timestamped and copyright of either me or the Reg, but I'm willing to go 50/50 with anyone who profits from the idea that I've put out in the public domain.

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Virgin Media boss AND ex-Murdoch man: BSkyB broadband is 'lousy'

wolfetone
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Re: Satisfied..

"Maybe I should call them for a £44.99 refund?"

If it wasn't for your £44.99, the previous 2/3 posters wouldn't have been able to get the upgrade for £5. As the man from Virgin Media said, if people offer you something for free you're paying for it somewhere else. Except, you're paying for the freebie.

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Missiles-on-rooftops Brit spy Farr: UK gov can slurp your Facebook, Twitter ... What of it?

wolfetone
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My view

As I'm sure the NSA, GCHQ, et al can read what I'm about to say (and I hope they do), I would like to call Mr.Charles Farr an absolute scum bag full of twattery. There is no need for this snooping, if there was Germany wouldn't be so bloody pissed off at America and the UK for snooping on their Chancellor.

To quote Mr.Cleese: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Politicians and their home boys make me sick.

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