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* Posts by Christopher Webb

147 posts • joined 13 Jun 2007

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Isis Wallet, NOT an Islamist militant group, reborn as Softcard

Christopher Webb
Trollface

The next step

ISIS/ISIL/IS etc has changed names so many times and is likely to do again. I look forward to the day they change the name to VISA, NSA, USA and any other acronym that the boys and girls over the pond hold so dear.

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iFind: Critics slam Kickstarter campaign for miraculous battery-free phone finder

Christopher Webb
Trollface

Fools and money

So this is the new "Solar Roadways"?

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Christopher Webb
Pint

Re: Maybe...

I much preferred Beetle of the Yard. He dealt with real situations like the riot between the red ants and the black ants, or that time a spider collided with a fully laden woodlouse and caused a huge traffic jam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ng9sRKnYjE

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Android to drop Dalvik VM for high-performance ART in next version

Christopher Webb
Headmaster

"Dalvik is dead, long live Dalvik!"

Surely that should be "Dalvik is dead, long live ART!"

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Possessed baby monitor shouts obscenities at Texas tot

Christopher Webb
Devil

Family Guy

Am I the only one who imagines the guy at the other end was doing his best Stewie Griffin impression?

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Oi, trolls, BEHAVE! Twitter tweaks rules to tackle abusive twits

Christopher Webb

Re: Yes, but

I'd imagine most Twitter users don't even know what nouns and verbs are.

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Christopher Webb

Yes, but

Is nobody going to talk about that awful piece of reporting BBC Newsnight did the other day, where they effetively promoted the Block Bot as a means to fight trolls, ignoring the fact it's nothing more than a list of people (including Roseanne Barr believe it or not) they think shouldn't be allowed to talk, because said people don't support their questionable view of reality?

Anyway, increasing numbers of staff to deal with these more violent sounding individuals is no doubt a good thing, I just worry that an official report-a-troll button will be open to abuse, like we see with false-flagging of videos on YouTube.

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Oi, Google, you ate all our Wi-Fi keys - don't let the spooks gobble them too

Christopher Webb
Thumb Up

Re: Very convenient feature

I haven't heard that joke in years. Goon Show fan by any chance?

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Christopher Webb

Re: So....

No, 4chan will remain available. /b/ alone is a goldmine for the FBI.

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Christopher Webb
Big Brother

'Come on, who googles "child porn" anyway? That's like walking down the High Street saying "I'd like to buy some drugs".'

Anyone who ever watched the uncensored version of DogPile's SearchSpy could answer that one.

But that's just the thing - search engine companies have the computing power to check page targets for search queries like this and blacklist/report them accordingly. I'd much prefer that to having government tar everyone as potential child rapists just beause they un-ticked a box to view legal material on the Internet.

It's far more important that we bring up our children to be intelligent, thoughtful and responsible individuals who can think for themselves, as opposed to the current government engineered "solution" of "let Big Brother think for you".

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Christopher Webb
Big Brother

Re: When a flawed process..

...which is quickly resolved by added the word "proxy" and its synonyms to the list of banned words.

And what else might go? Let's say some currently reprehensible political party (yes, yes, I know they're all reprehensible) gains a footing, wins a future election and uses that filter to censor the news and block any discussion of themselves or other parties. I know it all sounds sort of fanciful, but we've seen plenty of examples in the last 100 years of what happens when those sorts of people get in power.

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Christopher Webb
Mushroom

Too much room for abuse

2013 - pissed off with the lad at school who insulted you / chatted up that girl you like? Frape him and watch him squirm for a day or two.

2015 - pissed off with the lad at school who insulted you / chatted up that girl you like? Type some words into his phone/laptop and watch his life (along with his family) get destroyed.

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Voyager goes off a (helio) cliff

Christopher Webb
Alien

Re: @ Don Jefe

V'ger was Voyager 6, supposedly sucked down what was known in the late 20th Century as a "black hole", suggesting the event happened before the 21st Century; also suggesting said black hole was right on Earth's doorstep. Funny, the galaxy always seems so small in the Star Trek Universe, until you end up in the Delta Quadrant that is.

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Christopher Webb
Boffin

Re: 18 billion km thats like saying

It'll be short scale, since that's the standard scale used in astronomy.

Remember when it was only 5.5 light hours away? Ah, those were the days.

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Mark Shuttleworth: Canonical leads Ubuntu, not 'your whims'

Christopher Webb

Re: Got to say...

"No one forces us to use Ubuntu, or any other distro."

Too right. I used OpenSuSE until they forced KDE4 on us, right when the damn thing was too unstable to use. I didn't like SuSE's implementation of Gnome (and couldn't be bothered to start reconfiguring it since my machine was in need of a clean down) and had already used Ubuntu on other smaller projects so that's why I switched. I don't have to stick with Ubuntu, I can just choose another flavour.

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Christopher Webb
Linux

Re: Guess that includes me then

I ran Fedora on a second machine for a while a few years back, it's a great distro but I found myself having to make tweaks here and there far too often (usually something to do with non-free codecs or webcam issues) and so I decided not to use it as my primary flavour.

I'm currently running KDE since I upgraded to 12.04, tried desperately to get along with Unity and after a few weeks gave up. KDE fits my working style better although a glance at (h)top shows it could do with a slim-down.

I'm periodically glancing at Gnome 3 but haven't been convinced to switch back. Xfce is lightweight which I like, but feels far too dated. I have it installed on a pendrive for working on broken PCs but wouldn't want to use it all day every day.

Mandriva is now a pay-only setup with the free versions all discontinued. OpenMandriva is still trying to get itself setup so Mageia will be getting a test drive in the next few days.

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Christopher Webb
Linux

Guess that includes me then

I've been an Ubuntu user since 2008 (previously OpenSuSE, and Mandriva/Mandrake before that). I've come to love Ubuntu's community and had some great times, even getting used to the lack of a root account (not a bad idea as it turns out).

But more recently I've felt unhappy with some of the decisions Canonical has made. I keep trying Unity, and every time the screenshots appear better than my experience with the interface. I do think that part of the upset is due to Gnome's progression from v2 to v3 at the same time that Unity bacame the standard interface - to many (forgetting the likes of Xfce and Enlightenment) that only left KDE. But Canonical doesn't like KDE and as time has gone by it's become more and more apparent that Canonical's vision is to have Unity as the only viable interface for Ubuntu.

Before reading this article I had been looking at a potential replacement for Ubuntu on my main machine. At the moment it looks like Mint will be the winner.

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'iPhone 5' released by Chinese Apple copycat

Christopher Webb
Pirate

Re: Version?

You'd think so, except Goophone (Valley Bee) uses that very logo as if it were their own company logo.

Personally I love their little diatribe about spotting and reporting fake Valley Bee distributors using the Valley Bee hotline. Oh, the irony!

Oh, and the Y5 has an optional 'fruit back'. I'm sure we can all guess which fruit.

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Twelve... classic 1980s 8-bit micros

Christopher Webb
Thumb Up

Re: Dragon 32

Did you ever make the mistake of using the speed-up poke and then save to tape? You couldn't load the program back in, even with the speed up poke applied. The solution was to use another speed up poke that overclocked things even further. Tape load would work, but you'd lose all display, even text mode. Thankfully you could hit the reset button and get everything back to normal.

Incidentally, Microdeal was run from a building just down the road from where I lived, and I went on to work for Jenny Pope in one of her later ventures.

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Christopher Webb
Thumb Up

Re: Tatung Einstein

My Einstein still works, although I had to repair the power supply when I was 13. This was the machine that got me into machine code programming. MOS was a bit of a pain to use, but the supplied manuals were excellent. The Xtal DOS password protection of files was a nice touch and having BASIC loaded from the 3" disk meant lots of spare memory for games.

Great machine, although blooming expensive, about £500 if I remember correctly.

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Look back in Ascii: Computing in the 1980s

Christopher Webb
Happy

I still have most of my old computers (the ZX81 and Spectrums both broke many many years ago), including my Epson HX-20 which works perfectly to this day. I think my favourite geek-kit though is my 3 Fujitsu PoqetPads (2 still working): MS-DOS 5, storage on SRAM cards, with a backlit 640x200 resolution touchscreen and separate keyboard. Those were the days!

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Theresa May: No emails sniffed in web super-snoop law

Christopher Webb
Devil

I think it's about time we made all politicians PERSONALLY responsible for their departments and the crap that comes out of their mouths.

E.g. when it's shown that Theresa May was either lying or had no fucking idea what she was talking about (most likely both) then that should be the cue for every man, woman and child affected by this legislation to put their hands around her neck and return the choking feeling she's given them in kind.

No joking required.

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Biologists create synthetic DNA capable of EVOLUTION

Christopher Webb
Trollface

Re: Artificial DNA Not Capable of Macro-Evolution

Not sure if trolling..... or just stupid....

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/eb6/

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550,000-strong army of Mac zombies spreads across world

Christopher Webb
Trollface

Old school FTW

My trusty Dragon 32 never got any viruses. It's clearly a far superior machine to any modern PC. Time to replace all those bug ridden Windows & OS/X computers with some REAL hardware!

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Spam-squirting hole found in McAfee antivirus kit

Christopher Webb
Mushroom

ActiveX???

You're kidding me....right?

ActiveX!?

I guess McAfee are one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

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Dating sites can be haven for sex pests, say cops

Christopher Webb
Flame

*chuckle* *snort*

Am I the only one who finds it ironic/amusing that this article comes out alongside "Chief inspector sacked for 'advertising uniformed self online for sex'"

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BT superfast home fibre plans fall behind schedule. Again

Christopher Webb
Big Brother

St Austell exchange

I know someone in Bugle (connected to the St Austell exchange) who's currently getting 100Mb/s. He lives in a house built around 2 years ago, and was rather surprised to find that there was fibre optics already laid from the cabinet to the house. So he's actually getting fibre to the premises. Lucky bugger.

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Microsoft warns on support scams

Christopher Webb
Trollface

My mother had one of these

Thankfully I was there when they called. I arranged for them to call back later and set up a VM XP on my laptop. I had them on the phone for nearly 2 hours, I had their company website (including phone number) and the website that was handling the credit card payments (it's a payment backend for an astrology site), before claiming the PC had stopped working and proceeded to loudly rummage around while "looking for the power cable" before pulling the phone plug from the socket. If was so funny when I disconnected the VM network device, the poor guy was so close to getting a credit card payment (I'd typed in 100% fake details since he could see the VM "screen"), he was desperately trying to get me to check the network cable, restart the router, turn the computer off and on again (oh no, it won't turn off; oh no, it won't turn on). 15 minutes was from me trying to enter credit card details (is that a 5 or an 8? where are my glasses? maybe that's a 6?).

Anyway, I took this wealth of information up to the police - they weren't interested. I tried passing it to actionfraud - but no luck their either. No money passed hands and technically I'm not the victim since they called my mother, not me.

Troll, because I trolled 'em good. Maybe the good folks at /b/ might like to hack/DDoS their payment site and bugger it up for the scammers?

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Remastered 4K, 3D Titanic steams towards cinemas

Christopher Webb
Coat

Bots ahoy

"I launch and nobody cares"

"I'm going to sink this bitch"

"Get out of the passing lane, moron"

Sod the 3D, Titanic's much more fun when Tom and Crow are around.

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PlayStation Network hack launched from Amazon EC2

Christopher Webb
Coffee/keyboard

Anonymous

Nope, not the work of Anonymous. Not their style. Filling it up with gay porn (like the defacement of the Taliban entry on Wikipedia last night), dragons f**king cars and pictures of pedobear maybe, but not hacking for monetary profit.

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Curiosity kills 3D Cameron cams

Christopher Webb
Alien

James Cameron

Cameron is an explorer as well as a film maker. Let's not forget he funded an expedition to Titanic in order to get an accurate representation of the ship for the film. The result of course was a film that wowed the masses, and upset Neil DeGrasse Tyson because the sky view when the ship sank was completely wrong. Not to worry though, Cameron took this all on board (no pun intended) and had the production company work with Tyson to get the correct sky in time for the re-release.

Anyway, switching cameras so soon before launch is a terrible idea. Once the rover's out there, it's not coming back and you can't repair it if it goes wrong. A typical example of the dangers of robotic space missions is the Voyager 2 probe. Voyager 2's camera jammed mid voyage while the ship was passing Saturn in 1981 and wouldn't rotate. The fault was traced to an issue with the servo (found to fail after a few hundred rotations) and thankfully the NASA engineers managed to free it by heating and cooling the servo. Things like this make NASA wary of sending stuff out into the void without testing it for a few years.

Still, 3D cameras will no doubt be used in future missions once they're proven to work reliably, and when they do we'll all stare at images of our red neighbour with a renewed wonder.

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Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists during live interview

Christopher Webb
Happy

Oh dear, oh dear

I notice that www.godhatesfags.com is still MIA, I also noticed at least one of the name servers points to a SW Bell ADSL account: adsl-70-252-169-188.dsl.tpkaks.swbell.net

Could this be the reason why we can't go see?

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Jacqui Smith 'shocked' to discover we're drowning in sea of porn

Christopher Webb
Coat

Well I'm shocked...

...that Jacqui has a son. Is he adopted or something? Surely she wouldn't have partaken in the act of sexual intercourse, something she seems to vehemently abhor?

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Nominet asks what you think of police domain grab

Christopher Webb
FAIL

Let me get this straight

The police see a website that appears to be being used by criminals.

The police get the DNS entry removed.

The criminal(s) realise the site is no longer available by going to www.imacriminal.co.uk and promptly shred all evidence.

Police have smiles all round. Job done.

Criminal(s) set up another site: www.imacriminal.ro.

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Russia has 'secret space warplane' to match US X-37B

Christopher Webb
Alien

Star Wars

There's a very good reason not to have space battle stations - as Carl Sagan pointed out an orbiting battle station is pretty much a sitting duck.

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Facebook facing fall-down issues

Christopher Webb
FAIL

Not BT's fault me thinks

For a start people all over the world are suffering the same problem,

Anyway, while www.facebook.com doesn't work, going to the mobile version http://m.facebook.com does.

Could it be something to do with the deployment of the new profile? Maybe Gremlins (TM)?

God, I can only wonder how companies are handling the sudden upsurge in productivity!

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Christian group declares jct 9 on M25 cursed

Christopher Webb
FAIL

And there's the rub

If the place really has been taken over by dark forces, then why doesn't God fix it? Why do the evangelicals nutters need to get involved?

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Cross-dresser shags mutt at historic castle

Christopher Webb
IT Angle

IT angle???

Hee hee, Just kidding!

Nice to see my dear county comes up trumps again for weirdo-sex stories. Must be something in the air. I wonder if he tried the same trick on the other side of the Fal at St Mawes as well?

So remember guys, if you want lots of bizarre sex toys, a vibrant dogging scene, manure to masturbate in and dogs to shag while dressed up in womens clothing, then SUNNY SUNNY CORNWALL IS YOUR IDEAL DESTINATION!

I think it's time to save some money for the toll bridge over the Tamar...

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Steve Jobs morphs into Darth Vader

Christopher Webb
Joke

Oh dear

iSithed my pants...

So is this comedy, or a documentary? Hard to tell these days.

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PC consultant pleads not guilty to malware 'sextortion' plot

Christopher Webb
Big Brother

Who's laughing now?

Remember those tinfoil hat guys who used to turn the TV the other way so the government couldn't spy on them? Don't look so silly now do they?

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Twitter on a ZX Spectrum

Christopher Webb
Happy

Never knew

Never knew how many Dragon owners there are here. I still have 3 of them in the attic, complete with Cumana drives and DragonDos cartridge. I have the Dragon Chess cartridge too somewhere. Microdeal who sold most of the Dragon software were located just down the road from where I lived, and I later worked for one of the former owners (she went into the map business, and if you ever saw a SkyView poster, that was us).

Ooh, I'm feeling the need to drag those bad boys out of the attic, find my copies of Draconian, Cuthbert goes ***, Speed Racer, etc and have a bloody good walk down memory lane...

Anyway, did they have the Tatung Einstein there too? It wasn't a bad machine, great for hacking with all those ports and 80K of RAM! £500 in 1984 ya know...

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Halley's comet is actually ALIEN VISITOR

Christopher Webb
Alien

Oh, I hate to sound like a know-it-all...

...and I'm really not, but one could argue that just about everything in the solar system came from other stars. After all, the Sun is only capable of converting Hydrogen into Helium, thus anything bigger (Oxygen, Carbon, Nitrogen etc) would have come from long since exploded stars elsewhere in the galaxy. Yes, yes, I know that's not what is being talked about here...

Anyway, an interesting little article. Carl Sagan would have loved it.

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Robobeachcop demands licence from Poole snapper

Christopher Webb
Stop

So does that mean...?

Ooh, the Bullshit detector's twitching again.

So if you need to ask permission to take photographs in a public place, does that therefore mean the Poole authorities need to ask permission from EVERYONE before turning on the CCTV?

Thought not.

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Top cops worldwide grill Google over Wi-Fi snoop

Christopher Webb
Stop

I await the Google Jedis

Google Jedi: "You don't need to see our documentation"

Law Enforcement Officer: "We don't need to see your documentation"

Google Jedi: "This is not the company you're looking for"

Law Enforcement Officer: "This is not the company we're looking for"

Google Jedi: "We can go about our business"

Law Enforcement Officer: "You can go about your business"

Google Jedi: "Move along"

Law Enforcement Officer: "Move along"

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'Draw Mohammed' call prompts Pakistan Facebook ban

Christopher Webb
Megaphone

@A new low...

I think you're missing the point - this isn't a case of "lets piss off Muslims for fun". Revolution Muslim started this by threatening to kill the creators of a cartoon show for depicting a prophet in a teddy bear outfit (thus ensuring he wasn't being portrayed, and that it could be anyone in that bear suit, and a screen capture would give you no idea as to what it was about or who the guy in the suit was).

Lets put this in perspective - Lets say I belong to a religion where I believe that everyone who draws a picture of a sunny day should be put to death. Sounds silly yes, and you'd write me off as a kook and forget about it. Then when you draw a picture of a sunny day, I then directly threaten to kill you FOR DRAWING A SUNNY DAY. Suddenly I'm not just a kook, I'm a danger to your very life. On top of that, I've clearly lost all sense. Would you just roll over and say "Yeah, you're right. I'm wrong. Sorry, I'll never EVER draw a sunny day again"? I'd hope not.

There is a very real war going on here. Fundamentalist Islam is creeping into our lives from every angle. If fundamentalist Christianity was doing the same thing (and in the US you could argue it is) then people would see the threat the same way and treat it the same. Here in the UK we're already getting "suggestions" by some Muslims that office workers shouldn't eat during Ramadam as they consider it offensive. We already have Sharia courts, so Muslims can deal with things like theft, assault, infidelity, homosexuality etc in secret rather than report it to the police and follow UK law. And lets not forget that in Sharia Law many crimes are punishable by death. I'm a vegetarian, and I'd never "suggest" people not eat meat around me, even if I did find it offensive. If I don't like it, it's up to me to put up with it, or go somewhere else.

In my work I have met and worked with many different people from many different countries and religions, including Muslims. I particularly liked a man called Dhaffir who is an Iraqi but now lives in the the UK. He was funny and hard working with his own flourishing business - nothing like the hate mongerers who are now threatening democracy and our way of life.

Please understand this isn't about hating Muslims, or even hating Islam. It's about standing your ground when someone threatens your life or the lives of others for doing something so innocent as drawing on a piece of paper. Islam forbids the drawing of the prophet because they're terrified of idolatry, the same reason why ancient Mecca is being levelled. But really, do these people honestly believe anyone's going to worship teddy bears instead of Allah because of a South Park episode? Of course not, it's all about control and the need to feel superior, tied to the fact that they really do believe what they say they believe.

Freedom of speech means you can say things others don't agree with or even like. Nothing however gives you the right to threaten to kill others over a theological disagreement.

I'd much rather just get on with everyone - life and let live - but others do not share my viewpoint, and I'll be damned if I'll let them get away with it. World Peace doesn't come from people shouting "Do as we say or we'll kill you".

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Christopher Webb
Go

For all those who still don't understand how all this came about...

1: South Park episode has Mohammed dressed in a teddy bear outfit (so you can't see him).

2. Matt and Trey get death threats from Muslim extremists for depicting the prophet.

3. A cartoonist made a cartoon poster "Everybody draw Mohommed day" organised by a fake group called Cacah, featuring pictures of the prophet as various inanimate objects. Nothing more than a cartoon, not really suggesting that a real EDMD be created.

4. It goes viral. Youtube fills with videos encouraging people to draw Mohommed, even if it's just a stick figure. Facebook group gets set up.

5. Cartoonist distances herself from the protest, as does the creator of the Facebook group.

6. Muslims all over the world tell us how they're offended and we should be more understanding. Others say "sure, draw him, but be nice so everyone can see what a great guy he was".

7. People who HAVE read the Quran, who follow the human rights violations in Arab countries and have witnessed their own countries come under attack by Islamic extremists cry "WTF??? Why should we back down? "

Here's my picture of Mohammed, peering over a wall:

....

(o o)

-oOO--(_)--OOo-

I'm not a Muslim and I DON'T have to respect Islamic law since I don't live in an Islamic country.....yet. In the same way that Wahabists feel no quilt about teaching their children to call for the murder of Jews, I feel no guilt for pissing of Wahabists. It doesn't even matter that they're Muslims - if Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddists made the same ridiculous death threats, I'd feel inclined to give them all the finger too...

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Google: Street View spycars did slurp your Wi-Fi

Christopher Webb
FAIL

So it went like this then...

Manager: "We want to collect SSIDs from the cars while taking snaps"

Google employee: "OK, how about kismet?"

Manager: "Nah, something else"

Google employee: "OK, well here's some code I got off the 'Net that does it"

Manager: "Cool. Put it in a lets get rolling."

Google employee: "Do you think we should try it first, make sure it works?"

Manager: "Bollocks to that, time's a ticking!"

Google employee: "You're right. To hell with thorough testing!"

Riiiiiiigght.

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Jimbo Wales exiles 'porn' from Wikiland

Christopher Webb
Headmaster

@Dust. Wind. Dude.

Nope, Ted said "All we are is dust in the wind, dude".

Then Bill said "Dust. Wind. Dude."

And then Socrates said "Yes, Like the sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Hah!"

And then my wife said, "For God's sake get a life!!!!"

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Jacqui Smith and Charles Clarke shown the door

Christopher Webb
Happy

Tell me...

...is it considered rude to throw a party?

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Election 2010: The sillier options

Christopher Webb
Pint

Onen hag oll

Nice to see Mebyon Kernow getting a mention there. I've suddenly come over all funny. I want to.... to... SING!

Going up Camborne Hill, going down,

Going up Camborne Hill, going down,

The horses stood still,

The wheels went around,

Going up Camborne Hill, going down

...

(Several pints later)

And shall Trelawny live?

Or shall Trelawny die?

Here's twenty thousand Cornish men

Will know the reason why.

Roll on Friday.

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