* Posts by auburnman

917 posts • joined 28 Jul 2011

Hackers crippled HALF of world's financial exchanges - report

auburnman
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Black Helicopters

How long until Wall Street sharks are partnering with/paying hackers or social engineers to knacker specific stocks so they can short them? If it's not happening already of course.

</tinfoil hat>

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Microsoft admits it's '18 months behind' with Windows 8 slabs

auburnman
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Re: "The iPad will be marginalised..."

I can only imagine MS tried to copy the reality distortion field but something went horribly wrong in the process, leaving them not only believing but hopelessly committed to their own hype.

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Boffins want toilets to become POWER PLANTS

auburnman
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Facepalm

Re: @auburnman Stop!

See '*' footnote re: mistakes in the post.

(hit submit instead of preview by mistake.)

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auburnman
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Happy

Re: Stop!

Proofreading has been outsourced to schmucks like us who care enough to do it for free. Much as it grinds my gears, with the 24/7 news cycle of today taking the time to proofread every article is probably just too much time and effort for an organisation that provides its news free to its readers.

I think we should have a national pedant day though, at least one day a year where people are not just encouraged but obliged to rag on every little spelling mistake*. Then we could have a carnival in the evening where someone who habitually writes 'loose' when they mean 'lose' is picked at random an shot as an example to the others.

* I am aware that this complaint about spelling will have several spelling mistakes

** That doesn't have to happen, but it would be nice

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Unreal: Epic’s would-be Doom... er... Quake killer

auburnman
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Or game 'flashbacks' In Real Life. Not Doom related but when Metal Gear Solid came out on PS1 I still to this day remember the day I panicked when I walked round the corner only to see I had carelessly walked into a security camera's field of view. Then I remembered I'm not Solid Snake and I'm not fighting terrorists. I'm at school and I'm going to be late for class if I keep dicking around.

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auburnman
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Unreal Tournament was and still is the daddy. To my eternal shame I still haven't beaten Xan Kreigor fair and square to this day. It's just a shame that the sequel(s) were basically the same game with many of the same maps, only shinier.

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Pwn all the Androids, part II: Flaw in Java, hidden Trojan

auburnman
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Re: how much code is needed to write something nasty?

DELETE * FROM * ;

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Beijing offers cons reduced sentences for friendly Tweets

auburnman
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Unhappy

Horrifying

Tacit acknowledgement that having a pro government stance will ensure you pay a lesser price for your crimes than equivalent but unloyal peons. I'm sure they will be pushing for this to become a socially accepted/tolerated state of affairs (if it isn't already.)

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Unmasked: Euro ISPs raided in downloads strangle probe

This post has been deleted by a moderator

DARPA uncloaks unTerminator for $2 million robotics challenge

auburnman
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Re: Tethering has its own limitations

But then you couldn't send it into buildings for fear of gassing the people it's meant to be rescuing surely?

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Oh please, PLEASE bring back Xbox One's hated DRM - say Xbox loyalists

auburnman
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Joke

Typo in the Article...

Oh please, PLEASE bring back Xbox One's hated DRM - say Xbox Playstation loyalists

Fixed it for you.

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US gov SMASHES UP TVs and MICE to nuke tiny malware outbreak

auburnman
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Happy

I was just thinking this sounded like the magnum opus of a bored BOFH... The question is, who did they trick into destroying all that kit, and how had that scapegoat wronged our (anti)hero?

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Apple surrenders in 'app store' trademark suit against Amazon

auburnman
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How good would it be if Amazon refused to let this go and countersued over a frivolous lawsuit?

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France's 'three strikes' anti-piracy law shot down

auburnman
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Re: What else is there to say

I second that request for an update. As Jonathan says, there is not much to be said on this subject that is new. I would like to spew some vitriol on the "culture tax" idea though, even if I'm not saying anything new; subsidising a failing model where paying customers are literally treated worse than the offenders is pure idiocy. I do like the bit where they propose targeting 'for-profit' offenders though.

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Sky asks Ofcom to unlock BT cabinets

auburnman
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Stop

The very thought of relying on my council for anything internet is giving me a migraine.

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Samsung asks for retrial on rubber-band

auburnman
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Epiphany

Most of last year I wondered why Samsung hadn't been trying to get the patent invalidated, and now it has finally dawned - they were keeping this in reserve so they could force a retrial based on new evidence if the original trial went tits up - exactly like they're doing now. Smooth moves Samsung lawyers, I take back all the bad stuff I wrote.

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Elon Musk's Grasshopper tops 300m, lands safely

auburnman
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Re: Totally useless "technology" "invention".

I totally agree something like this should have been done years before now, but no-one else has managed it and Musk has. Calling it useless is just wrong.

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auburnman
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Re: Totally useless "technology" "invention".

Moon landing: 1/6th Earth gravity, no atmospheric turbulence to worry about.

Also Moon lander wasn't 100ft plus tall.

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Battery-boosting breakthrough grows on trees – literally

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Nanowhatzit.

It's all around you. It's just too small to see.

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Irish gov refuses to haul Google, Apple into MPs' tax inquiry

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Irish Tradition

Are the Easter Europeans related to the Easter Bunny?

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auburnman
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Good on them

The politicians can't pin anything on the companies and they know it. All this enquiry bullshit is a pathetic attempt at keeping attention on the corporations so that MP's don't actually have to do some work fixing the tax structure (probably because that would knacker their own tax arrangements.) At least some MP's have the decency to not waste everyone's time.

You want to fix the multinationals tax situation, do any or all of the following:

1 - 1% tax on all transactions where payment is made by a UK entity. A small charge that is the bare minimum cost of doing business in the UK. Adjust existing taxes so that small or national businesses (or anyone who actually already pays 1% or more) see no increase, multinationals can suck it up.

2 - Withholding tax of about 5% which corporations can claim back IF they can prove they have already paid tax on that earnings within another jurisdiction.

3 - Tax money as it is moved out of the UK, BUT make this refundable/not payable IF the company gives written validated confirmation that it is being moved to its final jurisdiction this financial year (i.e. an undertaking that it will not then go to Holland and then on to Bermuda). I can't see this having an effect on anyone who isn't trying to pull a double Irish Dutch whatever.

4 - Payments to sister companies to be heavily restricted to reasonable amounts for goods and services received only, e.g. no more Starbucks UK paying millions in brand licencing to Starbucks US to reduce the profits on their books. This is the one that sails closest to the tax evasion wind in my opinion.

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Xobni! heads! to! Yahoo! elephant! graveyard!

auburnman
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Totally agree

I actually looked at buying Xobni (the plugin, not the company) after being impressed with the trial version. Once I realised you couldn't buy it, only agree to pay them money on a regular basis, I binned it. As you say it didn't help that Outlook's internal search was suddenly much more helpful.

Still seems like withdrawing the product immediately after buying the company is a waste though, but that's pretty much par for the course with Yahoo.

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Rest your head against a train window, hear VOICES in your SKULL

auburnman
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Re: I had Sky Go once...

Has anyone in the rooting community (is that the right word? It sounds dirty) looked into a modification that would allow rooted devices to fib and say they are running factory standard android?

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auburnman
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Go

I'd love to see them try to pull this off

I can just imagine the uproar in the news if they announced they were installing these. Commentators would decry the end of the free world as your own head is no longer free from adverts, the more impulsive among us would vandalize them, hypochondriacs would complain about how they have constant migraines and can't sleep since these came along - leading to ambulance chasers egging some of them on to sue - and amongst all of this Sky's already iffy public rep would nosedive as tired commuters badmouth them in public and on Facebook for not letting them snooze.

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Ubisoft admits major hacking breach, advises password change

auburnman
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Re: Why can't we just

Dear god please don't encourage more bloody Facebook integration in games. Or anything for that matter.

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auburnman
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Re: It gets even worse...

Are you sure you're thinking of UPlay? When I played AC3 recently the first thing that comes up is the invitation to log into or set up a UPlay account, but that step is definitely skippable. What you describe sounds a lot more like the forced Origin login EA shoehorned into Fuse* on PS3.

*for anyone thinking of buying Fuse, don't. it's shite and you can't even launch the game (on PS3) without signing up for an Origin account as mentioned above.

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Dubya: I introduced PRISM and I think it's pretty swell

auburnman
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God Dammit Wikileaks

Why are they announcing the countries Snowden is applying to? Because rolling out a list of twenty plus applications doesn't make him look desperate at all. Unless this is a tactic to draw US attention elsewhere while he applies to a country not on the list.

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Facebook restricts ads running next to dodgy posts

auburnman
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Re: Um, what content?

Well then you've always got the controversial opinion fallback. Just end every post with a signiature like

"Hitler had some good ideas."

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UK sitting on top of at least 50 years of shale gas – report

auburnman
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Western resurgence

"cheap energy has made manufacturing and heavy industry competitive again."

And how long before the cheap energy needle swings back to India and China because they built some nuclear reactors unfettered by the legacy of cold war fears?

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Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo: The big three slug it out at E3

auburnman
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Re: FPS

Maybe true, but next time EA release an FPS I want to play, it will be on my Playstation - Origin is going nowhere near my PC unless someone has a gun to my head.

On a slightly related note, what I would like to see from the next generation is more cross-platform multiplayer; Valve proved it was possible with Portal 2, and user base fragmentation could be an issue as we go to cross a console generation.

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Wake up, Uncle Fester! Huawei’s nattering about BUYING Nokia

auburnman
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"Microsoft already has plenty on its plate salvaging the company"

Contender for quote of the week or understatement of the year, I reckon. Multiple Catastrophes on multiple fronts.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

auburnman
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It is however...

... the job of the government (or specific agencies thereof) to protect the vulnerable from charlatans.

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Badger bloodbath brouhaha brings 'bodge' bumpkin bank burgle bluster

auburnman
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Re: As ocassionally happens.....

"But isn't that half the fun? Trying to guess what the article is about without reading the subtitle or the article."

I like to read the Daily Mash and reverse engineer in my head what the actual news story was from the parody.

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Speech-to-text drives motorists to distraction

auburnman
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Re: Distracting tasks?

"Driving without due care and attention" can only be used to book someone AFTER the police catch a driver doing something stupid like weaving into the other lane or scraping the kerb. To get the mobile ban into effect the police filmed numerous incidents of people on mobiles in less than full control of the vehicle.

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Sony sucker-punches Xbox on price, specs, DRM-free gaming

auburnman
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Re: Steam?

Consoles have always been about ease of use and portability. Your game would work just the same when you took it round your mates house. Locking a game to an account is a fundamental betrayal of what a console is. There has been a slide towards this with downloadable games but that came with the upsides of easy access to free demos and the like, and it was always alongside discs that could be loaned out or sold on at your whim.

This latest step smacks of doing DRM Hollywood style - punishing paying customers with a locked down 'guilty until proven innocent' mentality which will end up pushing paying customers towards piracy.

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auburnman
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Locking games to accounts

I can see XBoxers attempting to continue game trading by having a throwaway user account for each game and trading those.

Account: Halo9Account_95864812

Nickname/gamertag/whatever: Halo 9

Chuck Norris

123 Fake Street

Beverly Hills 90210.

Then MS will crack down on accounts that only have one game registered to them, the internet mobs will go off their tits and someone will start a class-action lawsuit against MS for all this.

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auburnman
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Re: Waiting for "Kinect: PRISM"

They want it on all the time, my money is on turning it off at the wall being more hassle than it's worth.

"Your XBone has recovered from an unexpected power loss. Please sit there doing nothing like a prick for the next three hours while the hard drive is checked and 500 mandatory patches are applied."

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All major UK ISPs prepping network-level porn 'n' violence filters

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Oh good

'timeporn' (no spaces)

I know that was probably a typo, but it's set my mind wondering as to what timeporn could be. A code for Dr Who fanfic porn? Maybe Marty McFly & doc Brown? Or people having sex with timepieces?

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Who should play the next Doctor? Nominations needed!

auburnman
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Re: Ben Cumberbatch

You'd have to have him basically be Sherlock though. Snapping at anyone near him and doing scathing put downs alongside the investigation. Would make a good change from the recent cheery/zany all the time. Do you think they could get Martin Freeman as an assistant as well, or is he still busy being a Hobbit?

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Exclusive Halo game coming to Windows 8 and WinPhone 8

auburnman
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Re: Meh.

> two weapon limit, regenerating health,

It's not a bad system in and of itself, it's the industry doing it to death and being too god-damned afraid to try anything else that has induced the current yawn fest. Keep in mind, back in the day the two weapon health regen system WAS something new. It's also the fault of gamers (myself included sometimes I admit) for lapping it up while really good shooters that try something new wither on the vine (like the surprisingly good Bulletstorm which died an undignified death.)

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

auburnman
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Re: Don't be fooled! (Eadon Pavlovian response)

You forgot to put the last line in allcaps.

ALLCAPS LAST LINE MEANS I MEAN BIDNESS

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Stand by for PURPLE KETCHUP as boffins breed SUPER TOMATOES

auburnman
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Re: the key question....

If we're genetically engineering tomatoes, we should fix them so they taste like bacon.

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Security boffins say music could trigger mobile malware

auburnman
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Music triggering dangerous payload

Isn't that the plot of the (absolutely abominable) Eagle Eye?

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Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill

auburnman
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"However data charges are not available in real time"

The pathetic thing is that appears to be true for Orange employees but not for customers. When I got massively overcharged for data (Like ten quid for a minute on Google maps, not bum-squeaking letters demanding thousands fortunately) and I phoned up Orange to complain, the poor call centre sod couldn't see the data charges yet even though I could view the charges ON ORANGE'S OWN WEBSITE at the same time.

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Peak Facebook: British users lose their Liking for Zuck's ad empire

auburnman
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Re: Hotel Facebook

"Every advert I get on FB...gets reported as being sexually explicit."

That'll just get your feedback logged as malicious and ignored. I would say it's better to honestly select "Just not interested" in all the ads for cars, stock trading etc. If everyone did that FB would be put in an awkward position when they try to drum up ad sales for the new Lexus or whatever and the advertiser wants to see data on the level of interest /engagement with ads.

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If you've bought DRM'd film files from Acetrax, here's the bad news

auburnman
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Facepalm

Exactly. It is astonishing that 'the man' has still not twigged that DRM hobbling on paid-for media is the gateway to Bittorrent, not a preventer.

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Review: Sony Xperia SP

auburnman
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Unhappy

When did a £300 phone become a mid-price model? F me.

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Computer use irrelevant to education outcomes, says US study

auburnman
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Stop

Re: @auburnman (was: Only computers?)

Yes I do gripe if a computer can't connect to the internet in a learning situation. Because a kid might have no technical aptitude whatsoever, or come from a family who don't already have an internet connection and genuinely can't afford to get one for their kid.

There will be youths out there like you who will fall in love with the technology itself and will do whatever it takes to get it working and hopefully go on to a wonderful career in IT. But for every one of those there will be many more children who are left with an overpriced doorstep when they could be learning about Physics or Chemistry or history or even just browsing Wikipedia or watching shitty manufactured boybands on Youtube - you never know what might kindle an interest in learning more.

You seem to ignore the opportunity for learning outside of the IT sphere. Just the slightest bit of extra investment could have opened up a whole new world to disadvantaged children.

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auburnman
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FAIL

Only computers?

Obviously they were too scared to provide computers AND free internet access, the combo that really would have made a difference to any kids that had a thirst for learning. Hell, if you gave me a computer tomorrow that I couldn't hook into the web, it would go in a cupboard until I needed a portable DVD player. If the study is limited to ONLY the provision of a computer and nothing of the surrounding infrastructure then the study is useless.

You might as well give me a free car with no insurance, no tax, no licence and no MOT and draw the same "it makes no difference" conclusion when I don't use it.

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Hey, Teflon Ballmer. Look, isn't it time? You know, time to quit?

auburnman
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Windows

Re: Balmer is safe because...

Maybe he's a placeholder until Elop finishes reducing Nokia to a minnow that MS can snap up for a pittance. As a reward for single handedly ruining an entire company with nothing more than blind loyalty to MS he will be welcomed back into the fold and given the throne when Ballmer retires.

</bored paranoid speculation>

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