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* Posts by auburnman

833 posts • joined 28 Jul 2011

FAT PIPE for ALL: Britain’s new tech firms take it from the telcos

auburnman
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Re: I'm not mono-browed....

"We live in a large village 5 miles from Harrogate and 7 miles from Leeds and when BT was questioned as to their progress in bringing a minimum of 2MB to us they replied that it was cheaper to take the Government penalties."

Josco, you could probably write to your MP and mention this if you could prove that's BT's position. They might be able to embarrass them into doing their job, or up the penalties so doing nothing is no longer the cheaper option.

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auburnman
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Trollface

Be fair, we now have using punctuation within your name as a method of announcing to the world you are a twat before they meet you.

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UK.gov's web filtering mission creep: Now it plans to block 'extremist' websites

auburnman
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Re: Clever Nanny!

"Given how many Aged Parents don't understand technology and leave passwords and crap to the kids, I really do wonder how it will work."

Indeed. I seem to remember mum and dad leaving it to me to sort back when we had dialup, although I think I was probably a little older than a kid, more a "horrible mannered acne ridden little shit" at the time.

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Sick to death of Xmas? Try these explosive gift ideas

auburnman
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Trollface

Just Google where to get it. You could win an all expenses paid trip to one of the NSA's splendid facilities in Sunny South America!

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BOFH: It's DANGEROUS to go alone. Take THIS

auburnman
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I was expecting this one to be a ruse to get the boss up on the roof looking at the aircon so a "terrible accident" could happen. Good fakeout.

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Schmidt: 'Android mobes are a great Christmas present to an iPhone user!'

auburnman
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Interestingly, I think you could make the argument that those accusing Microsoft of being sexist are the sexist ones when they assume a gender was implied with the knitting comment.

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US army bites the bullet in $50m software piracy pay-out

auburnman
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Re: good for them!

They've hidden them. "enter your comment" and "add an icon" are effectively tabs within the comment page.

I don't think suing the US military would be that hard, especially considering $50M would be chump change to their budget. You'd just have to keep an eye on the PR angle, release a statement along the lines of

"we are honored* to be supporting our troops with our work; unfortunately the military financial offices have not compensated us for our software and with costs mounting we took the difficult decision to initiate legal action."

*Spelling deliberately mangled in honour of our friends across the pond

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New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet

auburnman
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Headmaster

Re: No Combustion Involved

To heap pedantry upon pedantry, Combustion <> Combustible. I'm sure a dead whale bloated with gas is plenty combustible.

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PS-PHWOARRR: We review Sony’s next-gen PlayStation 4

auburnman
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"Ah, yes, I assume it'll be making me *rent* the same game that I've already purchased..."

I think we did this to ourselves when we showed how hungrily we would eat up PS1 classics on the store and repurchase the HD remasters of the PS2 greats.

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Microsoft bans XXXXBOX gamers for CURSING in online combat

auburnman
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Facepalm

The most frustrating thing is how they can always be relied on to come up with the most cack-handed solution to anything. Shit-talk can be funny, for example when two players are clearly having fun having a wordplay showdown and amusing the lobby, and on the flip side hearing other players can be extremely frustrating without swearing or even talking being involved, for example when some moron has their mic constantly on and the gain turned high enough that I'm treated to an extra helping of the game music as well as the background sound of slamming doors and the yammering of their neglected family.

The catch all solution is to make in game muting of players quicker and easier; add options that allow me to quickly mute "all players talking right now", "Entire lobby" or even a setting that by default mutes everyone in every lobby unless I specifically unmute them. There are plenty of games where I could happily never speak to another player.

But no, the Microsoft way is to come down hard on anyone who says fuck.

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Boffins: Bonkless Brits fondling slabs, not each other

auburnman
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2001 was not twenty years ago unless I got some bloody amazing sleep last night. Were we in recession in the period that most recent numbers are being compared to? I seem to remember sex increases when money is tight as it is cheap entertainment (Depending on your date of course.)

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HEADS UP, text-flinging drivers! A cop in a huge SUV is snooping on you

auburnman
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"If you're doing anything else you are by definition distracted."

True. We are fortunate however to live in a society where the police need evidence to charge you with an offence, and until using a mobile while driving was explicitly in the books as a no no, people got away with it unless they were caught having a whoopsie with another car or the kerb etc.

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auburnman
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"book people for driving while distracted, a statute which we have had for a *long* time."

The problem with that is that the officers can't book anyone for driving distracted until they have evidence, i.e. the offender has a near miss or an accident, which doesn't really gel with the police goal of prevention. If we trust the judgement of cops then we have to trust that they campaigned for years to get using phones while driving banned for good reasons.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

auburnman
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Re: Slightly off topic...

Awesome. Ironically we're just getting to the stage where the shops opposite would have been glad of the free heat.

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auburnman
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Slightly off topic...

But while we're discussing architectural disasters, did anyone follow up ont what became of the building in London that was melting paint and setting fire to shops opposite and / or the designers thereof?

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BOFH: One flew over the PFY's nest

auburnman
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I'm just confused as to why Simon let PFY get out instead of sabotaging his escape plan and getting him put on the experimental Invasive Electrotherapy program as per established standard procedure. Must be bored at work or something.

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Flippin' heck! Magnetic poles of Sun are gyrating: What Earth needs to know

auburnman
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Re: Satellites not likely affected

"Oh no!! Magnetic compasses will no longer work!"

Surely the needle will just point South (or South-ish) after the flip?

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auburnman
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Re: Satellites not likely affected

100,000-200,000 is the cycle time, not how long we have left. I believe current thinking is we are overdue for a polarity shift, hence the concern over the effect on tech.

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SHIVER ME TIMBERS, it’s Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag

auburnman
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Loving it for all it's flaws

The level of freedom is fantastic, I've had it for a while now and the only reason I touch the main story is if I need to to get an upgrade. The assassin management of prior games (where you send them around the world on stabby missions) is replaced by fleet management missions (Battling to open trade routes and ship goods up and down and across the continent(s).)

My biggest gripe with this is that you can't play this aspect of the SINGLE PLAYER game without logging into Ubisoft's servers, and if I'd known that before purchase I might not have bought it on principle.

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Yet ANOTHER IE 0-day hole found: Malware-flingers already using it for drive-by badness

auburnman
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Re: "One of the sites spreading the exploit"

It could constitute slander if they were mistaken in blaming a site, and it might play into attackers hands by tipping them off that the game is up on site X and that it is time to ready some new sites for malware flinging.

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Oooh! My NAUGHTY SKIRT keeps riding up! Hello, INTERNET EXPLORER

auburnman
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Microsoft Mascots bad...

Did they not learn from clippy?

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Google's Nexus 5: Best smartphone bang for your buck. There, we said it

auburnman
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Black Helicopters

Re: Hangouts for SMS

Google will be glad you find some of their offerings sub-par; they can't wait for you to hand them their slice of the price on a replacement sms app, or even better install an ad-supported one. Probably the same for the issues with the desktop.

This is obviously bored speculation and paranoia, but can anyone deny that now android has market share it would make business sense to nudge users towards the profitable add-ons?

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Japanese boffins unveil INVINCIBLE robot rock, paper, scissors 'bot

auburnman
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Re: I wonder if you can fake it out

Rock your right hand up and down as is custom during the 1-2-3, then drop it and throw your move with your left.

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UK.gov BANS iPads from Cabinet over foreign eavesdropper fears

auburnman
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Might be a market for a secure phone where you can plug/unplug the microphone and or camera at will.

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SR-71 Blackbird follow-up: A new TERRIFYING Mach 6 spy-drone bomber

auburnman
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Re: Imagine getting across the Pacific at Mach 6?

You could reconstruct that sensation by letting a lorry drive over you.

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BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

auburnman
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Unhappy

This makes me sad

I always enjoy BOFH, but - into November and we're only on episode 9?

They're becoming a rarer and rarer treat.

Someone (Not me obviously) slip Simon a backhander and commission some more.

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The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

auburnman
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Trollface

Garages are notorious for being unwanted and will be completely obsolete as soon as the motorcar is phased out which can't be far away now. first on a new buyer's "knock down and replace" list.

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HOLY how-did-we-get-here?: Batman Arkham Origins

auburnman
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My thoughts

Flawed but good. The bugs I saw were the framerate issue on PS3 (dropped down to about 5FPS once and needed as reset) and a bug where I lost most of the functions associated with the triangle button (Couldn't interrogate informants or do silent takedowns. One gripe is that the 'playable Deathstroke character' is just a reskinned Nightwing with the same moves as the last game. It is more of the same Arkham style gameplay with just a little cautious innovation thrown in, so whether or not that's what you hanker after should dictate if you buy this full price or wait a while.

My biggest gripe with the game is BIG SPOILER WARNING

The main bad guy is the bloody Joker. AGAIN. I get that he is important to the franchise, but would it have killed them to show Batman facing the schemes of another villain as the main threat for once?

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Snowden: 'I have data on EVERY NSA operation against China'

auburnman
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Re: @ auburnman: It Could Be Worse Than That

"Russia is very wary, if not actually scared, of China."

So you're saying if China asked for him, he'd be stuffed in a bag and shipped over priority delivery?

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auburnman
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If he really has dirt as good as he has just announced, then he has just completely fucked himself. EVERYONE is going to be after him.

Does he really think Russia would be against quietly handing him over to China for cash or favours?

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Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

auburnman
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My biggest problem with my phone as alarm clock is I'm never awake enough to realise if my fumblings equated to 'Snooze' or 'Off'. I got into work VERY late a few weeks back 'cos of it. I'd quite like an alarm app that audibly tells you 'Snooze Selected' or 'Alarm Deactivated.' (And in an ideal world, it would activate the microphone and listen for a few seconds after that so you could change it from one to the other by shouting at it.) I realise I could search the store, but the problem is everyone and their dog appears to have done an alarm app and I can't be arsed trawling through thousands of them to find the best one.

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Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Let me translate:

They'd be better off waiting until the game is out and passing off game footage as real world recordings to a suitably thick government official:

"You need to buy our security product: Watch this criminal cause a car crash by hacking the traffic lights with his phone!!"

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Google's latest ad push gives LONE LAWMAKER the creeps

auburnman
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"the majority of those users signed up to Google+ didn't actually interact with it, so the appearance of their faces in ads might in fact come as a bit of a shock to some people."

I'm just guessing from personal experience, but my money is on the non-interaction with Google+ extending to people not having uploaded a profile photo in the first place (not of their actual face anyway.) I would say there will be a lot of photos of babies and pets advertising stuff as this is rolled out...

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Island-hopping Beardy Branson: I'm dodging rain, not taxes

auburnman
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Joke

holding a Union Flag upside down

If old annuals of The Victor Book for Boys taught me anything, it's that that's a distress signal! Mobilise 007 immediately, he is obviously a hostage in the clutches of some nefarious Bond villain.

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Wikileaks FAILS to start Twitter bitchfight with Guardian hack

auburnman
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That's Rich

Wikileaks throwing mud about not contributing to legal defence funds

*cough*BradleyManning*cough*

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Royal Mail FAIL as web brokerage Hargreaves Lansdown struggles with investor demand

auburnman
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Re: "loss-making postal service"?

Which diktat is that? I thought it was being sold off because the Tories are sexually aroused by privatisation.

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Wanna run someone over in your next Ford? No dice, it won't let you

auburnman
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Re: Self-driving cars are never going to take off

"On top of that, 1% of the entire population every year are killed on the roads (730k in the UK, apparently), with a significant proportion i'm sure where the wrong person (or robot) gets the blame."

That 730K is the figure for killed OR injured. If 2000 people were dying every day on the roads there'd be uproar. Mind you, the very fact that the figure of 730K works out to 2K/day makes me wonder if the 'official estimate' was pulled out of someone's arse.

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The legacy IE survivor's guide: Firefox, Chrome... more IE?

auburnman
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Meh

Editorial suggestion

Please stop repeating snippets of the article in a bigger font halfway through. It's not a magazine page, you don't need to draw my attention.

"It's not a magazine page, you don't need to draw my attention"

I have already consciously clicked on the article and decided to read it, the repetition just interrupts flow.

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Brit inventor Dyson challenges EU ruling on his hoover's energy efficiency ratings

auburnman
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Re: A can of worms..

The best Hoover I ever had was a thirty quid Dyson Cyclone technology knockoff from Electrolux. You'd forget to empty it as it never seemed to lose suction.

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RIP charging bricks: $279 HP Chromebook 11 charges via USB

auburnman
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Specs making ChromeOS pointless?

Decent RAM +Processor + SSD should make ANY decent OS fast as anything. So where's the argument for using an OS that is crippled when you can't get online?

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Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers

auburnman
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Re: OK, so that's the fictional deity out of the picture

One step at a time...

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Brits spend one in every 12 waking minutes online, say beancounters

auburnman
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Re: Seems about right...

Obviously those surveyed 'forgot' to mention their web use at work...

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TWELFTH-CENTURY TARDIS turns up in Ethiopia

auburnman
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Re: Geography Lesson

Not when part of the discussion is if this is another rumour / hoax. Hoax > Email Scam.

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auburnman
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Re: Geography Lesson

Who mentioned Nigeria?

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Hollywood: How do we secure high-def 4K content? Easy. Just BRAND the pirates

auburnman
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Re: Digital signature conundrum

Or perhaps get a dozen, twenty or even a hundred legit watermarks from hacking, social engineering and or volunteers, then liberally paste ALL the watermarks into the pirate copy. Call it the " I am Spartacus" defence. How would the industry prosecute if they can't pin it down to one person?

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auburnman
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Re: Devils Advocaat (with ice)

Or they could prevent you from watching the film at all on the grounds that it would be making an unauthorised copy in your memory.

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Third of Brits now regularly fondling their slabs, say beancounters

auburnman
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Thumb Up

Re: Yep!

Top notch, just snagged a couple to play around with. Tesco and their 'bargain' Hudl can go swivel.

Cheers min!

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Exciting MIT droplet discovery could turbocharge power plants, airships and more

auburnman
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Re: Nothing will make airships viable.

But perhaps one day with all the new Metamaterials becoming available to us we could have a viable lightweight vacuum chamber. Fingers crossed.

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

auburnman
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Auto tills had some redeeming features...

... back in my student days, a mate of mine who worked at Big Supermarket Chain TM discovered that the job destroying tills would accept ANY money off vouchers from the free magazine, regardless of whether they applied to the items in your shopping basket or not. Vouchers on toilet roll, Shampoo and crisps would give a bill reduction on a basket of Vodka, toffee and Super Noodles. If I recall correctly there was a brief period where he could do his weekly shop for £1.

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US spy court says internet firms can't report surveillance requests

auburnman
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Go

Re: err ,,,, [auburnman]

"It is only slander/libel if it is untrue (or rather a defence against a charge of slander/libel is that what you said/wrote is true). So if a person is subsequently found guilty there is evidence that what you said was true."

My point is that it is still slander at the time because the accused has the right to be treated as innocent until proven guilty and they don't get takesies backsies for the offence after the guilty verdict - when the statement was made the defendant was false as they were legally innocent then. Innocent unless proven guilty could theoretically provide wiggle room for a slick tongued lawyer.

Look at it this way - if you told everyone I was a car thief (when I wasn't) and I later stole your car in retaliation, your statement, although now true, remains false at the time of making.

I am not a lawyer either, but I too like to argue over wordings.

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