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* Posts by auburnman

855 posts • joined 28 Jul 2011

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Autonomy founder attacks HP fraud charges with new website

auburnman
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Go

If this turns out to be a smoke screen, do you think we'll see Mike Lynch turn round and sue the arse off HP for slander a little while down the line? Popcorn at the ready.

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Who's using 'password' as a password? TOO MANY OF YOU

auburnman
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Maybe we should use passwords that sound like mildly embarrassing admissions. If my password was "Iamsobloodylonely" (for example) I would hesitate before writing it down or reusing it on multiple logins.

Where's the 'Lightbulb' icon?

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auburnman
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Stop

Re: Double Fail

To quote the Oatmeal, " If I want to use 'Boobs' as my password that's my own shitty decision and you should just let me roll with it."

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Ouya gaming project announces console giveaway

auburnman
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Happy

There's been a noticeable upwards trend in the visibility and popularity of smaller cheaper 'Indie' titles in recent years too... and with Kickstarter taking off I wouldn't be surprised if smaller cheaper downloadable games are a big part of the future. The only thing that worries me about the Ouya is the limited specs (8GB Internal flash memory and only 1 USB port specifically.) I'm having one just so I can experience the joy of having a Megadrive (emulator) in the living room again.

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Ready for ANOTHER patent war? Apple 'invents' wireless charging

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Healthy?

He's just a shill for the egg-farming/Mobile telephony complex.

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Smear campaign

auburnman
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Trollface

Your midnight compatriot is obviously pawing at something he desires on the screen. Assuming the office is quiet at nighttime I'm going to presume it's naked ladies. The next obvious inference from there is that he's wanking.

In your chair.

Have fun at work next week!

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Staples to offer in-store full color 3D printing service

auburnman
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Re: The pessimist in me

The pessimist in me says Staples will still try to charge for a 3D construct that one of the minimum wage monkeys has clearly put a foot through at some stage of the process. Assuming anyone in the store actually knows how their 3D printer works, which the realist in me says is unlikely based on past experience.

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Half of us have old phones STUFFED in our drawers

auburnman
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Re: Not helped by rip off unlock fees

You have a few options. The phone helldesks are useless, more interested in getting rid of you than helping you.

1) Try visiting an Orange store and asking for the unlock code, if you're still in a contract with Orange after your upgrade they'll probably not try to charge a fee (don't mention it if they don't!) They're less likely to not give you what you want if potential punters can overhear the kind of service you're getting. Plus a store assistant can't hang up on you if they don't want to talk to you*.

B) Try looking for an independent phone accessories shop in town or in the market. They'll likely charge, but they should do it then and there and you can probably haggle them down to about a tenner.

iii) Google around online a bit and see if you can get an unlock code. I'd pick this as a last resort option, as a fair few sites try to look like free help sites that describe all the steps you need to find your EMEI number etc but ask for money just before they give you a code. Add in the possibility of conflicting, misleading or just plain wrong information out there and you could brick your phone.

*Like they did to me last week. Grrr.

PS if you are still with Orange you'd do well to check your bill. I just discovered they've been massively overcharging me for data.

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auburnman
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It's been said above already, but decent phones from the pre-touchscreen era are kept as they are good rugged backups. My one old Android phone sits on my bedside cabinet as my alarm clock which also serves as a mini tablet if I can't sleep or need to look something up/make notes etc in the middle of the night. With no SIM in the card, I can leave it in flight mode and it lasts ages on one charge.

As spare droid handsets get more common I can foresee a growing number of people repurposing them for pet projects like media centres, mobile security cameras etc. Wired already have an article about some boffins who are using one as the brains of a DIY drone.

We might even see Google sponsoring a hacking competition for best re-purposing?

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Leveson tells media to set up independent regulator or bow to Ofcom

auburnman
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Meh

Re: This one change would be a good deterrant

I don't know if that'd be good idea. Great in principle, but I think a full front page "We are wrong and stupid and here's why" article would be the only thing on this Earth that could make me buy the Daily Mail. Depending on how many people feel the same way, their front page apology punishment could well turn out to be a record seller. Maybe an automatic fine with every retraction?

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Far Cry 3 game review

auburnman
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Re: Do they really play this to review it?

There will likely be strict caveats on the press against publishing their own screenshots. It's probable a PR dept somewhere sends out a number of 'approved' screenshots for reviewers.

Anyone know if Ubisoft are still doing that atrocious 'constant net connection required to play' mince? I fancy getting this for PC, but I'll probably abort to PS3 if they're going to shut me down if my internet breaks.

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BYOD: A bigger headache for IT bosses than Windows Metro?

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: BYOD

I reckon he'd say that's TSOY and apply CPPL (Cattle Prod on Persistent LUser) if you complained.

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Their One Year Mission: To boldly find the effects of null G on humans

auburnman
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Re: A year in zero-gravity just to see how it messes you up?

In an ideal world, centrifugal gravity would definitely be worth exploring. Are you volunteering to fund the R&D and construction on the entirely new space station that would require?

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auburnman
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Pint

Brave lads

Given what we already know about prolonged weightlessness boils down to "it effs you up a fair bit", big props to the men who are volunteering to knacker their bodies in the name of SCIENCE.

Beer 'cos they deserve several.

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P-P-P-Pick up our PENGUIN-POWERED Pi PIPER of Python

auburnman
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Top Notch

Would love to see more "I combined my Raspberry Pi and some keyboard hacking to do THIS" type stories on el reg.

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Driverless trucks roam Australian mines

auburnman
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Re: Oh dear...

Hacking? All the joyriding is probably done from the remote control at the Perth facility. It's a good thing they don't have the remote(control) drive at the remote(isolated) site - I doubt it would take long for the few humans out in the middle of nowhere to start playing chicken with the trucks.

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Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

auburnman
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Meh

It's like lunchtime at the playground

Google and Microsoft have swapped round, it's now Google's turn to be the baddie and Microsoft gets to play the goodie for a change. Highly amusing even if it is lining the pockets of the legal elite and holding back tech development.

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Patent trolling to go under anti-trust spotlight

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: version of Godwin's law

Newton's Fourth Law - stop banging on about that bloody Apple.

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Judge: Your boss has no right to your emails held by a third party

auburnman
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Ooh. Wouldn't this be sweet if it torpedoed the (latest) outsourcing fad? "We can't send the jobs to Elbonia, we'd have no oversight over their email. They could be up to anything behind our back!"

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Windows Phone 8 has a secret feature which may activate at any time

auburnman
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Just had a thought...

Won't most hotspots mandate manual login so they know that the user has deliberately ticked "I have agreed to the terms and conditions" (and their arse is therefore legally covered?)

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In the loop: how Halo defined a new decade of first-person shooters

auburnman
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I don't think it's fair to say Call of Duty didn't push any boundaries either; When Modern Warfare 4 came out it had the most photorealistic engine seen to date, with a Tom Clancy Russians/terrorists/nukes plot that stayed just on the right side of believability. It was also the first game I remember with a cinematic 'movie' style plot that went as far as two weave the storylines of two different groups together - I can't recall any other game where things were kept fresh by jumping the player between characters.

Unfortunately when it went massive it became something of a victim of it's own momentum; with Treyarch pumping out a COD title every other year that you could describe as not-as-good if you wanted to be very charitable, even the Infinity Ward follow ups weren't quite as good as the first Modern Warfare.

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Sock-wielding movie pirates go to prison

auburnman
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Unhappy

Re: a porn film starring Jo Brand

Thanks for that mental image.

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El Reg seeks hoardiest reader for crap-stashtic honour

auburnman
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I seem to recall

that Douglas Adam's book The meaning of Liff had a word for gubbins that becomes essential as soon as you turf it out. Can't remember what the word was though.

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Android games console jumps to Jelly Bean for penultimate test phase

auburnman
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Stop

I thought that was "Games must have a free to play version." Which to my knowledge meant you can sell your game on OUYA if you have a free demo available. I think they're aiming for plenty of content with minimal outlay ASAP to better the OUYA's chances of taking off, not gearing developers toward the freemium model. At least I hope not.

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Lindsay Lohan storm over Hitler, Hurricane tweets: 'It was hackers'

auburnman
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Trollface

You forgot the inverted commas...

... around "tired and emotional".

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Valve taps testers for Linux Steam

auburnman
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WTF?

Surely they shouldn't be...

Looking for experienced Linux jockeys? At some point they'll need to see if Steam Linux can be installed by people who can just barely install Linux itself but will just stare blankly at you if you mention the terminals, sudo, man pages etc.

Unless they can't get Steam to run on Linux and are looking for help?[/joke]

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Operators turn UK bonking consortium into Google-killer

auburnman
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People currently grudgingly tolerate ads online (or block them where possible) but the 'normal' state for being online usually implies you are sat somewhere comfy with a nice big screen. People using mobile browsing are going places and doing stuff, and the NFC is probably an important part of that (e.g. buying a travel ticket.) At best the ads will not be seen because the phone is hovering over a tap-to-pay, at worst people will become angry with the brands that get shoved in their face this way.

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Sony posts, pulls PlayStation Store update

auburnman
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If the overhaul was done by the same team that did the current version, I'm not surprised it's crap. I wish they'd stop faffing about with the appearance and concentrate on making the underlying structure quick and responsive. I swear most days the waiting for screens to load in the store is like being on dialup.

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Craig, Connery or ... Dalton? Vote now for the ultimate James Bond

auburnman
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Happy

Obvious to see

That overall we much prefer the pared-back 'violence and shagging' Bonds of Craig and Connery. Although I must admit I'm one of those that grew up in the Moore era - his appeal was that he made it look easy and effortless. You could picture him deactivating a bomb with one hand while unzipping a girl's dress with the spare fingers on the hand holding his Martini. Classic "author-insertion-fantasy-persona" stuff. I can see how he'd annoy those who were used to a 'proper' realistic Bond though.

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Google rolls out new, cheaper Chromebooks 'for everyone'

auburnman
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Been wondering about that myself. Might be worth snagging one as a toy when the price crashes and trying to put a fully functional OS on it like others have suggested.

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Ay caramba, Ubuntu 12.10: Get it right on Amazon!

auburnman
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Trollface

Troll the stats

I wonder if they keep a top ten list of searched for items through the lens? Might be worth seeing if "Windows XP/7" could be brought to the top of the most popular search list with a little gaming.

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Hold my feet to the fire using open gov data, pleads minister

auburnman
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Re: They need to be careful here...

I have heard of them before, but what I'd like to see is a site like that being run as an official part of the government, with the appropriate funding and mandatory duties for accuracy and balance that kind of structure could impose. Not that I'm dissing the folks behind theyworkforyou, mind, I just think this sort of thing should have guaranteed funding rather than being a charity. It would allow them to 'advertise' the website detailing MP's actions when the voting bumf gets sent out too.

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auburnman
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They need to be careful here...

Releasing all the data could just as easily have bad consequences as good consequences. Taking the cancer survival rates for different practices as an example, people will naturally want a simple story of 'poor rate bad, good rate good' and infer that from the information released. Suppose the place with the 'bad' rate is actually a world leading cancer clinic which has a bad rating because they have a high proportion of low-probability survivors coming from all over the country? I'm all for this, but I think there will be rocky times ahead before people/the press learn how to handle the data deluge.

What I would like is a single website that lists all councillors and MPs across the UK alongside their election promises and whether those promises were kept, what they voted for against in bills etc. maintained by the Office for National Statistics.

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ZTE execs halve pay until profits return

auburnman
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Flame

I've always thought

it would be nice if CxO pay could be legally capped to a maximum based on a formula which accounts for the company's average employee salary and the lowest full time pay issued. But then they'd just fudge the numbers with subsidiary companies, part time and contract workers etc. As for bonuses, they should be paid based on hard numbers and objectives being set and met, none of this how the board 'feel' a certain suit has provided 'value' to the company.

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BOFH: Uninterruptible patsy supply

auburnman
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"No, I didn't read the bilge."

If only you'd gone one step further and not bothered commenting.

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Pints all round as Register Special Projects hacks hack off feet

auburnman
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Re: missed the poll

I'm kind of half and half on this due to metric being pushed in school when I grew up. I prefer people's height in feet and inches, but work weight in kilos almost exclusively. In fact I struggle to remember how much stones and ounces are in any meaningful terms.

I think measurements of people mostly stick with the old imperial measurements because the numbers are easier to visualise, eg I can picture a man who is 5"6' but I struggle with 178cm. Maybe if Decimetres had been clearly labelled as one of our options when the metric conversion was on the go.

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McKinnon will not be extradited to the US, says Home Secretary

auburnman
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Cover up?

That's one thing that always puzzled me about this whole affair - how it has failed to be covered up.

If I were after the culprits for hacking into several of the biggest and highest profile defence and research organisations in my country, and that turned out to be one lone guy with a home PC and some mental issues, I would sweep that under the carpet faster than you can say 'Highly embarrassing security incident.'

None of this dragging extradition out for years mince.

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Now pay attention, 007: James Bond's Q re-booted

auburnman
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Happy

Re: Surely

Now I have an image of Bond with Q in a headlock while Q desperately tries to spray water to cool his ear down.

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Dishonored game review

auburnman
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Unhappy

Glitches

While this is obviously a fantastic game and I'm probably going to buy this fairly soon, I would have snapped it up on day one already if it hadn't been for Bethesda's rep for bugs. Their 95% titles would be 99.9% titles if they would go the last mile and iron out the kinks in the engine. I gave up on Fallout: New Vegas around about the 7th time it crashed.

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Australian boffins have a ball with lightning maths

auburnman
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Boffin

You're all wrong...

Maths stands for Mathematical Anti-Telharsic Harfatum Septomin

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Skydiver Baumgartner in 128,000ft plunge from brink of space

auburnman
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According to Wired, Baumgartner was claustrophobic as balls, that's could also be why he behaved odd. Watching him start to spin was terrifying, I think the estimated speed had just maxed out; I worried he'd lost consciousness.

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O2 network staggers across UK

auburnman
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Stop

Re: Backup plan

"I never thought l'd see a resonance cascade failure, much less create one!"

I'm not sure where you get the idea that a network would need copies of a rivals kit to handle their customers ? All networks already have protocols to handle "foreign" devices for international roaming, and its high bloody time our providers sorted out some domestic roaming.

So no doubling of fees, and a cascade failure is unlikely unless the sheer volume increase overstresses the replacement network. And l Dont really track prices but are they really declining ?

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Vote NOW for the vilest Bond villain

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: Missing the obvious candidate

We could do a budget reshoot of the opening to Casino Royale where 007 tries to extract a wanted man from the grounds of an embassy; only instead of shooting 100 guards in Foreignistan he's knocking in a back window with a half brick in London.

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auburnman
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Meh

Hmmm......

While I remember the villains, I'm struggling to remember what most of them actually did/tried to do, which is making the vote tricky. Carver was pretty vile when he tried to start a war to profit, but wasn't that Blofeld's objective in You Only Live Twice? Where's Emilio Largo on the list? He held cities to ransom with nukes in Thunderball.

I think El Reg should re-run this poll after ITV have finished their seasonal 'show every Bond film we can afford over Christmas' and we've reacquainted ourselves with the baddies.

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Natwest's Get Cash app pulled, but NOTHING to do with frauds

auburnman
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FAIL

Bloody hell NatWest

Capping this emergency withdrawal to £100 should have worked to limit the damage. If I'd been robbed of a hundred quid like this I'd be a bit miffed, but as long as the bank sorted it out I'd probably be happy overall that I had this facility at my disposal. If however I found out that they had allowed NINE separate "emergency" withdrawals without challenging it and nine hundred of my hard-earneds were burning a hole in some chav's pocket, I would lose the plot.

Also - It's a bloody phone app FFS - why wasn't it locked down to the registered mobile number of the account holder?

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That horrendous iPhone empurplement - you're holding it wrong

auburnman
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Trollface

Re: except

@AC 11:24

I DO like my shinnies. They hold my kneesies up. Nothing against your shinnies though, I very much doubt I've ever seen them.

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Don't delete that email! Why you must keep biz docs for 6 YEARS

auburnman
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Devil

Re: Sir

That could actually be a nice little earner for a shady cloud company... get a contract to be the exclusive data storage and backup provider for MegaCorp Incorporated, with some under the table backhanders cementing the understanding that there will be a "catastrophic data loss" if any government agents start sniffing around.

But no-one would ever do such a dishonest thing, would they?

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Assange chums must cough up £93,500 bail over embassy lurk

auburnman
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And of course the curfew conditions made sure the authorities knew where he was on a daily basis. That did stop him jetting out of the country, but then the whole Embassy thing kind of blindsided everyone.

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Don't panic, but UK faces BLACKOUTS BY 2015

auburnman
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WTF?

Mountain out of a molehill

Take the data for our energy usage over the last ten years or so and check how often we would have had an outage if we'd only had that 4% spare generation capacity. If that number is >0 build some Thorium plants over the next three years. If that is also impossible do not decommission the old plants until we have sufficient alternative capacity, and accept the slap on the wrist from the EU.

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Feds charge US firm with smuggling illegal military tech to Russia

auburnman
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Headmaster

"SMUGGLING ILLEGAL MILITARY TECH TO RUSSIA"

Illegally smuggling military tech to Russia surely. "Illegal military tech" implies tech banned by law like bioweapons or landmines.

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