* Posts by Mr_Bungle

53 posts • joined 26 Jul 2011

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Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody

Mr_Bungle

The willful child - set phasers to ignore.

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Nokia Lumia 735: Ignore the selfie hype, it's a grown-up phone

Mr_Bungle

Re: Enterprise? Not yet...

Can you believe it, the great David Gale (?) warned Microsoft in writing 4 years and they chose to ignore this prophet.

1. You can sync SMS so the messages are included in your exchange mailbox, thus giving you a convenient SMS archive. People hate this turned on however.

2. Available as a 3rd party application only as yet.

3. Of course you can search your Exchange Mailbox, not sure how you missed this.

I really hope you don't test things for a living!

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Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch

Mr_Bungle
Stop

I barely can be bothered to mock the tripe they have released this time. However -

Who ever coined the name 'digital crown' for a fucking dial, is a terrible c**t, and should be launched into the sun to ensure their death.

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Apple poaches Nokia photo guru Ari Partinen from Microsoft

Mr_Bungle
Coat

New definition of irony

Video footage of Ari's plane developing engine trouble and the resulting fireball crashing into Apple HQ. The carnage captured perfectly on a onlookers Lumia.

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Mozilla axes HATED Firefox-ad-tab plan ... but will try again

Mr_Bungle

Re: Obviously, it's time...

I've used the mozilla/google homepage for a decade, Mozilla get a cut from that. I certainly don't begrudge it.

Just bored of change for changes sake. Seeing the last 10 pages I visited when opening a new tab is not at all useful, i have to squint to even make out what most of them are.

To this day i still type in well used url's, letting autocomplete or history take care of typos. No doubt Google or some other bunch (of c**ts) will find a reason to remove ALL unseemly text from the browsers.

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Mr_Bungle
Holmes

Here's an idea!

How about a new tab opens your home page, a search engine for most of us.

Oh wait, that's what used to happen.

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Nintendo says sorry, but there will be NO gay marriage in Tomodachi Life ... EVER

Mr_Bungle

Re: "such a significant development change"?

"Otherwise maybe they should also have say polygamy, scat, bondage, and bestiality preferences?"

I'd deffo play that version. And make it part of the school curriculum just to annoy sanctimonious Mary Whitehouse types like you.

You and Nintendo can suck my cock. We'll motion capture it and release a game.

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Apple patent pokes at holographic iPhone screen

Mr_Bungle

Apple 'engineers' patent more fairy-tale drek.

Standard Apple Patent -

There is this thing, in conjunction with a doo-dad, which might make it possible to do anything anyone actually invents in the future.

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HP: Autonomy overstated 2010 profits, cuts them by 81 PER CENT

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Autonomy reported profits of £105.7m for fiscal year 2010, The real profit was just £19.6m

So those dolts at HP thought that a yearly profit of £105.7m was worth purchasing Autonomy for $10.24bn?

Doesn't matter if Autonomy actually made £19.6m or a tenner, there isn't a word to describe the overpayment of the purchase. Look at them, scrabbling to shift the blame. Pathetic. How many HP workers ended up getting shitcanned for this idiocy?

Management make a galactic size catastrofuck, lose $10bn. Useless CEO is replaced by useless CEO who orders massive layoffs.

Honestly, what a bunch of fucks.

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It's official: The iPhone 5S bling-mobe IS chavvy. OR, Burberry isn't

Mr_Bungle
WTF?

Pass the sick bag again

“This collaboration celebrates our relationship and shared foundation in design and craftsmanship. We have a mutual passion for creating beautiful products and unlocking emotive experiences through technology, which has made it intensely exciting to explore the capabilities of iPhone 5s,” gushed Christopher Bailey, Burberry chief creative officer.

I'm not a religious man. However, I'll be asking god to drop a piano out of the sky directly on this pompous cretins head.

From his statement you would have thought Burberry and Apple were responsible for the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids, instead of some overpriced rags and a naff gadget.

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Samsung stakes claim to smartwatch market with Galaxy Gear

This post has been deleted by a moderator

'Nearly 1,350' HP Enterprise Services staffers strike over redundancies – union

Mr_Bungle

Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

Despite the evidence you continue your anti PS tirade. Your 'extensive expirience'? Consultant?

Don't make me laugh, as you seemingly no nothing about working in a Gov IT deparment, i suspect you are nothing more than a Salesman.

Begging for contracts, desperate to flog the latest shiny tech. And then fucking everything up like the majority of projects outsourced to private companies.

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Mr_Bungle
Stop

Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

Your further anonymous posting confirms how clueless you are. You think being an IT worker in the private sector automatically gifts you a dream job at 100k a year? Stupid and naive.

PS/Civil workers being paid less is a myth, on average they are paid more. Add to this shorter working hours, better holidays, flexitime, TOIL and a pension.

The drawbacks? Little or no overtime and you are never going to be a millionaire.

Read this, it might help you to stop looking so stupid next time you decide to open your ignorant fucking mouth.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2012/mar/27/public-private-sector-pay

I worked in the private sector for many years, lining some fat fucks pocket. Bored of the greed, I accepted a PS role, got a big pay bump, and have my life back. And I can never be shit-canned like those blameless HP workers.

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Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: HP is the reason the Public Sector fear Privatisation

If you don't like having a public service - NHS, Police, clean water and sewage desposal, then by all means emigrate to a failed state like Somalia. Enjoy your stay there you massive, massive twat.

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I salute Lady THATCHER - Shoreditch's SILICON GODMOTHER

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Pure Crap

^ Irony bypass.

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Apple confirms 128GB iPad. A hundred bucks for an extra 64GB

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: I thought you would be

@Lusty

It seems you are one of those people who's job consists of going to meetings, giving presentations, and inputting data for reports nobody will ever read.

We have many people at my workplace that complete these dubious tasks. We have no idea what their purpose is or why they are paid comparably to skilled engineers.

Productive work is done on a desktop/laptop, no amount of prancing around with a tablet will change that.

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Titsup Windows Phone 8 orders user to cram 'boot disc' in mobe

Mr_Bungle
Alert

Re: True innovation

You don't think the guy just took a photo of a desktop PC bootscreen error, then displayed it fullscreen on the phone?

Would be a fine joke to play.

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Zynga CFO cuts out the middleman and moves to Facebook

Mr_Bungle
FAIL

"We are positioning ourselves for long-term growth and I’m confident that we have the breadth and depth of management talent to deliver on our mission of connecting the world through games," he said.

No mention of the people who actually do the work then. Management Talent = oxymoron.

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35 US states petition for secession – on White House website

Mr_Bungle
Stop

Re: White v Hispanic and Black

Would these people be demanding secession if Mitt Romeny had won? No of course not, their God, Guns, Cross Burning, Tea-Bagging fruit loop agenda would of been followed.

Obama won, grow up and get over it.

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Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Apple files 'Shake to Print' iOS patent application

Mr_Bungle
WTF?

Re: Game Over

I never made the connection, but everytime I shake my 'gentleman' after urinating, the nearest printer to the bathroom prints out a test page.

I assume I owe Apple royalties, otherwise they will convince a Judge to take my penis off the market.

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Apple iPhone 5 review

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

*sniff* "I don't need an iPhone or anything else to know that I'm better than you." *sob*

Posting a comment intending to annoy other readers, then acting like a child when you are corrected. Like I give a fuck if it's your first smartphone.

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Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Lot of hipstery in this thread so far

@Aaron Em

More than anything else, this attitude is why many of us can't stand Apple. The delusion that owning Apple hardware make you a better person.

Wanker.

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Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Obviously A Fanboi ...

Is the reviewer perhaps the hidden love child of Steve Jobs and Tim Cook. Spawned in the Apple Labs. Home schooled using only SIRI and Apple products, no sense or knowledge of any other technology. The iClone LIVES!

The worst review I've ever read -

1. Grovelling indroduction

2. Foaming at the gash about the appearance.

3. Ignoring massive flaws.

4. End.

That had no place on this site, it was a essentially a review about what a phone case looked like. Do your readers a favour Reg, execute the simpering idiot who wrote the review, then delete any reference to him from your archives.

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Fans rap Apple's 'crap' Map app

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: But Surely

You surely do have more mapping options. It's just the default iphone map app, that most Apple uses will use is the crap new one.

Most Apple uses have been brainwashed to accept what they are given, they wouldn't have a clue how to use a different system. "I don't want to know how it works, I don't want to mess around, my iPhone just works!" squeals the Apple user.

So thanks to this philosophy, Apple now have a userbase that is mostly incompetent and unwilling to learn anything about the devices they use. Unable to find their arses with both hands, they will wave their $600 mistake at anyone with half a brain shouting "MAPS BROKEN!"

Stop trying to spin these failures Frank, it make you look like a moron.

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Apple 'hasn't really run out of iPhone 5s AT ALL'

Mr_Bungle
Holmes

Re: See also

Any delays were due to Apple trying to finalise patents on the following -

1. Moving objects from one part of the world to another.

2. The process of creating seemingly random connectors for devices (this involves rolling 2 dice, snake eyes gets your new iPhone a parallel port).

3. Air.

Sadly, only one was granted -

Concocting a tsunami of bullshit that convinces the idrones to buy the same tired product for the 5th year running.

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iPhone 5: skinny li'l fella with better display, camera, software

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Notice you're not trying to defend it though. Not even the most blinkered, deluded and brainwashed of Apple apologists can talk up this overpriced, under-featured garbage.

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Mr_Bungle
Stop

Re: That's all?

"and you know the performance of this phone's CPU how?"

The CPU performance is perhaps your only stab at making this aged and bland product relevant.

All the hype, the endless wittering of Apple users, months upon months of it. And the result of all of this is?

You get one extra line of icons.

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Taking Dell to court

Mr_Bungle
Thumb Up

Shameless, self promoting recruitment drone buys stupidly priced laptop that fails.

Dell, not recognizing this 'giant' of the industry, treats him like every other user.

Sense of entitlement shattered. World + Dog applauds.

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Hold the chips: Apple axes Samsung RAM order for iPhone 5

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Ahem

@DougS

Well after sanctimoniously lecturing me with your comical 'facts' you now look like a giant bellend. Well done.

I'm also indifferent to android btw

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Mr_Bungle
Holmes

Re: Ahem

"A4 and A5 are Apple-designed ARM derivatives"

Derivatives is the key word. You must remember Apple engineer fuck-all themselves. They simply take something already invented, put it in a glass case and then claim everyone else is copying them.

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Listen up, Nokia: Get Lumia show-offs in pubs or it's game over

Mr_Bungle
Stop

Re: But the real stand-outs are two new imaging features.

"...it's called turning the lights on to take a photo"

And if you're outside at night? Make a habit of rotating the Earth to match your lighting requirements do you?

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South Korea probes 'mobe patent bully-boy' Samsung

Mr_Bungle
Alert

Re: @ AC 1433h - All seems rather unfair......

"Enjoy a downvote for poor logic."

Ooooh, a downvote from an Apple nerd. That will keep you awake at night.

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Bruce Willis didn't Buy Hard: His girls can't inherit his iTunes

Mr_Bungle
Thumb Down

Re: Apple Schmapple

Rambling Apple nerd. Why use just one post when you can make 3!

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Assange granted asylum by Ecuador after US refused to rule out charges

Mr_Bungle
Alert

So?

@FrankAlphaXII

American Soldier? So what. Citizens of your county might get all misty eyed and start weeping when 'our boys in the military' are mentioned, not so much over here.

Arming countries in turmoil then blowing the shit out of them a decade later doesn't speak to me of any clear forethought or wisdom.

Not saying those regimes didn't need to go, but take a look at your own now and again. Assange is an asshole granted, but look how easily he's made your paymasters look impotent. I fear that's the reason they want him.

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Hello nasty, don't use my music: Deceased Beastie Boy to admen

Mr_Bungle
Stop

Re: Very strange behaviour indeed

Give it up, you've been found out. Your credibility is zero.

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Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Re: Very strange behaviour indeed

Hasham, you clearly don't care to understand what the Beastie Boy ethos evolved into. The fact you used a phrase like 'you created a few pop songs' shows not only your misguided ignorance, but also how much of a bellend you are.

Starting with Paul's Boutique, the Beasties created sublime music that influenced a generation, and more than just a few here I imagine. Your attempt to lessen this is comically inept.

Yauch then devoted his time promoting non aggression, and attempted to raise awareness of oppressed nations. All on his own dime. You think this guy wanted to shill crap to stupid fat Americans after his death? You can't see how this would be the antithesis to his character?

To borrow from Bill Hicks also. Stop trying to put a dollar sign on everything, you sucker of Satan's cock.

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Huawei Ascend P1 Android review

Mr_Bungle
Coat

Re: The screen

"Evidently, it’s a phone designed to steal market share from HTC"

Using this logic, Huawei stand to reap in profits of £19.20 next year! That's assuming they steal 50% or so.

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Apple, Samsung whip out mobe sales in patent trial showdown

Mr_Bungle
Coat

But...

I would be delighted if somehow I was mis-sold an iPhone and given a Galaxy instead. Lets face it, its a far better piece of equipment.

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Jury selection delays start of Apple/Samsung patent showdown

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Pass the bucket

"We are an Apple kind of family," said another.

Ughhh..I just threw up in my mouth a little. Imagine the smirk on the Apple exec's face when reading this.

I find it horrifying people are buying into this rancid horseshit. Somehow using a brand of technology is a 'lifestyle' choice. If you need a PC or phone to describe to the world what kind of person you are, then you are already intellectually dead.

Apple fans about to comment and defend this madness - Screw you in advance. You have already been brainwashed and cannot be trusted to have an opinion.

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Sony Xperia Go waterproof Android phone review

Mr_Bungle
Thumb Up

Re: All very well but ...

Props for the 'phone in the pint' picture Alun, inspired!

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Samsung: 'Apple's proto-iPhone Jony is a Sony phone phoney'

Mr_Bungle
WTF?

Re: Pretty solid case

Do you spend all of your free time hunting the net to find dubious articles supporting Apple's right to rule the world?

Oooh! Some meatheads were too stupid to realise what they buying! You're using this article for evidence?

I would advise taking off the i-groinal attachment, turning off your i-device and learning to accept Apple is just another company that makes gadgets.

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Facebook posts loss despite strong revenue growth

Mr_Bungle
Stop

Things that used to rule the Net

Do you remember newsgroups?

Do you remember IRC?

Do you remember ICQ?

Do you remember Messenger?

Do you remember Friends Reunited ?

Do you remember My Space?

Do you remember Facebook...

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Gabe Newell: Windows 8 is a 'catastrophe' for PC biz

Mr_Bungle
Thumb Up

Re: Trying to create a joke since forever

With such a bizarre and impenetrable post, you have made yourself the joke. Consider your long quest over.

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Apple misses earnings targets, Street reacts

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

And...

Thanks for proving my point. Getting all butt-hurt when someone insults your precious.

Also, try and spell 'imminent' correctly. I would of thought your magical I-Device would have corrected that for you.

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Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

Its just a matter of time. Apple's line of mediocre, overpriced tat will eventually fall back in with the rest of the pack.

Honestly, some of the Apple fans here should listen to themselves. Desperately listing profit projections and possible new features. Why the hell does it matter to you so much?

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch 'is worth 6 years' porridge'

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Second win for Apple as Galaxy Nexus sales banned in US

Mr_Bungle
Coat

Re: doesn't bode well for the new Nexus 7

Using a 7 incher in anger will get you on the sex offenders register.

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'Inexperienced' RBS tech operative's blunder led to banking meltdown

Mr_Bungle
Mushroom

Work Blunders

I'm sure most of us have made errors on a rare occasions.

I once had missed a nights sleep and clicked 'shut down' rather 'log off' when remoting into a server. A file server, with people working on open documents.

I replied to an email rather than forwarded it. The e-mail was slagging off a customer who was a giant bellend and this and some other thoughts were sent back to him. Got away with this somehow.

And so on.

Imagine the bowel emptying horror when this chap realised what he had done.

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Apple juggernaut cranks out big, big numbers

Mr_Bungle
Facepalm

You missed one

1,000,000,000,000,000: Pointless Apple articles published on otherwise respected tech sites.

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