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* Posts by ISYS

111 posts • joined 21 Jul 2011

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Reg LOHAN spaceplane: Punch and Judy show in comedy non-explosive climax

ISYS

We have in a negative success situation!

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French firms: You want us to compile DATABASES... of our SECRET information?

ISYS
Big Brother

As the OP said - It will become French law and the French will ignore it.

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

ISYS

I bet the new adapter still won't fit in the HDMI socket on the side of my laptop (right next to the USB socket)

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Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

ISYS
Meh

Ever tried putting one on in the dark?

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

ISYS

Wow

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch

You must work for the media.

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O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

ISYS

Re: "Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"

"It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014."

Most people! You mean Americans and Radio 1 DJs

March isn't the 14th of anything. However most people understand the 14th 'day' of March.

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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

ISYS

Pliers cause pain

Accidentally pinching the web of skin between your thumb and index finger whilst using pliers hurts like a bastard!

Before you ask - No I do not have webbed fingers.

Also - if you are unfamiliar with the phrase 'hurts like a bastard', try pinching your skin with pliers and all will be revealed.

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166 days later: Space Station astronauts return to Earth

ISYS

Soyuz return to earth explained

Cool video here that explains how the Soyuz, undocks, de-orbits and safely returns to earth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l7MM9yoxII

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Euro cops on free Wi-Fi not-so-hotspots: For pity's sake, don't use them for email

ISYS

Re: No shit Sherlock

Haha :-)

however if you were sat next to me on the train I would see you typing Shift-8 x number of times ;-)

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ISYS
Holmes

No shit Sherlock

I agree - don't go spraying all your sensitive data over a public Wi-Fi connection that you have no control over.

On a slightly related subject it seems a lot of people are getting lazy over data protection when in public places, especially on public transport. Many a time on my train journey I am sat next to somebody in their mobile office and can see who they work for, what they are working on, who they are communicating with, their username and password (I can see what you are typing - those asterisks do not fool me) besides a lot more.

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Cyber battle apparently under way in Russia-Ukraine conflict

ISYS
Coat

Times change

Sochi seems so long ago now doesn't it?

There was a clue with the failing ring though......

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Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

ISYS
Happy

Re: Test subject

"Average UK lifespan is 81 --- so he's currently, err, less than average."

It is now - but not when he was born ;-)

Be careful how you use statistics.

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ISYS
Pint

Test subject

My father, although now not a heavy drinker, was a keen homebrew wine producer and consumer for about twenty years. He enjoys bacon sarnies, beef dripping on toast, vast quantities of cheese, butter not marg, coffee by the bucket-load and red meat every day - he does not like garlic.

We celebrated his 80th birthday in December by going for a slap up meal in a pub!

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Volvo tries to KILL SHOPPING with to-your-car Roam Delivery

ISYS

Lesser of the two evils

I would rather trudge round the shops than admit that I drive a Volvo.

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Bangable poster firm Novalia makes printed 'leccy keyboard

ISYS
Happy

Yay!

33 years after it was first launched we can now print our own ZX-81

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NSA, GCHQ, accused of hacking Belgian smartcard crypto guru

ISYS
Holmes

First the Headlines

Spy agencies are spying on people!

and in other news, Scientists have discovered that bears do indeed shit in the woods.

And now the weather...

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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

ISYS
Pint

Universal connector

Bare wires and insulation tape/matchsticks.

My father could connect anything to anything with the above - however this sometimes meant replacing the house fuses with something a bit more reliable like a nail.

Happy days...

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Yes, HP will still sue you if you make cartridges for its inkjet printers

ISYS

HP print management software

I have an HP Multi Function Laserjet - Apart from the appalling noise it makes at random times of the day when it suddenly decides to 'calibrate' itself it is providing me with some amusement.

I should explain I work from home and the printer is used several times a day. For some months now it has been tellling me that the toner is low in all four of the cartridges - the black one since before the summer. The pop-up messages are getting more and more stressy as it is convinced that I should have shelled out at least £50 per cartridge by now.

I am waiting to see what will happen first, I actually run out of toner or the pop up has a complete breakdown.

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MP 'shocked' at failures 'at the top' of the BBC over epic DMI tech fail

ISYS
Holmes

Pot - Kettle - Black

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Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

ISYS
Childcatcher

Shit yourself slim

Feed them to all the obese kids that the Daily Mirror keeps banging on about.

For our American Cousins - The Daily Mirror is a 'news' paper that tells stupid people in the UK all the things they need to worry about (most bad things are the result of hoards of immigrants btw).

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Latest Chrome adds Chrome OS flavor to Windows 8 'Metro' mode

ISYS

Guinness is Irish not British........

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ISYS
Pint

Not pedantic - just preserving correct English.

A pint of real beer to you.

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Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

ISYS

Re: Open question

Thanks (and to Mr Wilkinson)

That makes sense.

These rocket scientists are bloody clever aren't they.

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ISYS
Pint

Open question

Reading this line - "During the lunar night, the lander and the rover were in a power-off condition and the communication with Earth was also cut off" has reminded me of something that has always confused me.

How do they switch it back on again? Is it on a timer?

Anyway - well done to Jade Rabbit and all the team.

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Hubble 'scope snaps 600-LIGHT-YEAR-wide pic of star-spawning nebula

ISYS
Headmaster

Re: grammar chequer?

Spelling surely?

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iPhone fanbois outsmart fandroids in totally reliable test of brain power

ISYS

Ummm

All this proves is that iPhone users are quicker to get the correct answers - not that they got more.

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Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

ISYS

Re: Makes sense to me...

Mod is now normally used as an abbreviation of 'Modification'

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MPs back call to boycott low-taxed tat from Amazon over Xmas

ISYS

Good Luck with that

Persuade people drive to their local town, drive round for ages looking for a parking space, battle through the crowds, placate their bored kids with a crappy meal from any number of foreign owned, tax avoiding food concessions and queue for hours in crowded stores that may or may not have what you want in stock. If they do it will cost nearly half as much as it does on the internet.

Alternatively - Buy it now - delivered to you door 2-5 working days later. All from the comfort of your armchair.

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Supermodel Lily Cole in Impossible partnership with Jimbo Wales, YOU

ISYS
Paris Hilton

Lily Cole's best contribution to the internet is her work with Juergen Teller........

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Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

ISYS
Coat

A penetrating run in to the box......

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Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

ISYS

Don't Panic!

XP IS NOT going to stop working in 100 days time.

Also I am sure that the Indian banks are using more 'up to date' back end technology. All XP is used for is as desktop. It will continue to run most applications and with a browser it can access the internet and the cloud. If they really needed to upgrade they would probably go for Windows 7.

Microsoft are sh1tting themselves because, like the rest of us, no businesses in their right mind wan't to purchase Windows 8.

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Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

ISYS
Pint

WIth apologies to Vera Lynne

Whale meat again,

Don't know where,

Don't know when.....

A pint to his memory.

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Ahhh, SATISFACTION: Watch while we set a NAS on FIRE

ISYS
Coat

Someone call the Fire BIG RAID.............

Sorry!

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Do+ you+ use+ Google+? Seemingly+ you+ DO+

ISYS

Re: Im with G+

Ghostery is your friend

www.ghostery.com

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ISYS
Coat

I'm surprised the lady in the video didn't crash the car, she was paying so little attention to the road.

Colonel Hurrumphy D'Stressflair (retd)

Busybody Cottage

Little Mindington

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Brew me up, bro: 11-year-old plans to make BEER IN SPACE

ISYS

Re: Interesting

As the US is currently closed for business I couldn't find anything on the NASA site.

I did find this on a UK site though

http://www.our-space.org/materials/states-of-matter/metro-fizzy-drinks-in-space.

Anyway, all this talk of beer is making me thirsty ;-)

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ISYS
Pint

Re: Interesting

Great video

This sort of suggests that yes, the beer will be surrounded by the head.

I can't wait for the astronaut to perform the beer experiment -

"Now then children, to prevent the beer from damaging the space station I need to clear it up and the best way of doing that is to consume it."

"Hang on, I've spilt some more. I better clean that up as well"

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ISYS

Interesting

On earth the head floats to the top of the pint.

In space will there be an orb of beer surrounded by head?

Discuss.......

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Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete

ISYS

Straight in at No1 on my Christmas list!

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DRAMA at 75,000 FEET: Our Playmonaut's TERROR PLUNGE from EDGE of SPACE

ISYS
Happy

The link to 'best practices for an Active Directory migration' under a series of photos of a lonely trek through the wilderness made me smile.

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Have you tried turning it off and on again - oh, you did: IT Crowd RETURNS

ISYS

Re: Don't forget Matt Berry

Look Jen! A fly!

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Tell me why I don't like Moon days: Bob Geldof heads into SPAAACE

ISYS

The Ultimate charity fundraiser

In your face Mr "I'm going to Everest base camp to raise money for orphans"!

I AM GOING TO FUCKING SPACE!

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Ultralight party balloons in WEEK-LONG marathon flight

ISYS

Re: Is it me

Guilty as charged!

I was skim reading during a break from some tedious documentation work I am doing. The pretty pictures caught my eye and not the text.

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ISYS

Is it me

Or do the flight paths look a bit like a cock and balls?

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Tory think tank: Hey, civil servants! Work with startups to save £70bn

ISYS

Doomed to fail

The problem with any Govt IT project or initiative is that they are horrendously over-managed by both the government and the provider. Remember the adage 'A camel is a horse designed by a committee', well Govt IT projects have two separate committees; one trying to decide what they actually want and one trying to provide the solution.

If you or I want something that performs the function X we go to a company and ask for their product X. We know what we want and the company has a product that fulfills that function.

When Govt attempt the same thing they ask the company for product X - not realizing that X will not perform function Y which they also need. After many committee meetings they usually insist that the company produces a new bespoke product called Z that takes years to develop and ultimately does not work.

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Brits give thumbs-up to shale gas slurping in university-run poll

ISYS
Alert

Change the names

Do you mind if Caudrilla goes Fracking for gas?

It sounds like you are to be experimented on in a not very nice sexual way by a giant, four legged dinosaur.

All though, according to the survey, it seems like more people would like that!

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Yahoo! announces! plan! to! change! logo! 30! times! this! month!

ISYS
Gimp

Wow!

Are Yahoo still going? Do they share a building with Novell?

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PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

ISYS

Re: Normalization with the real world......

I think a lot of people are getting over excited by 'censorship' here. That is like saying gun control, laws against murder, rape etc are controls over individuals rights. The Internet is basically a big library and never before have you been able to walk in to a library and view hard core porn no matter what you age.

It is true what the OP said. Pre-Internet days if you wanted to see porn you would either have to obtain a grumble mag, a video or go to Amsterdam.

Most mags were in the newsagent, on the top shelf and had their front cover, well, covered. Children knew they were there but were unlikely to get hold of one unless they found one or were given one.

Magazines that catered for people with more 'adventurous' interests were to be found in sex shops or via mail order and were very unlikely to get in to the hands of anyone other than the original purchaser.

The Government seem to be trying to get back to this situation which is no bad thing. They are not saying you can't view porn, just that if you want to you have to actively go and get it - just like before and that it should be difficult for children to stumble across it, especially the harder core versions.

This first step will not be perfect - no new system is and people will find ways round it

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Secret ROYAL BABY birth VIDEO leaked! (And other malware scams)

ISYS
Childcatcher

Just think - without a Monarch as head of state we would be like France or USA.........

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Virtualisation extremist? Put down that cable and step away slowly

ISYS
Holmes

Ummm.....

"If you're so inclined you can even take it to extremes, so that in the event of a physical host failure your virtual servers keep on humming by virtue of real-time replication onto other physical hosts"

Not quite - Virtual Hosts store the VM files on shared storage.

Most of this article seems to be stating what is industry best practice anyway?

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