* Posts by ISYS

148 posts • joined 21 Jul 2011

Page:

Lockheed Martin's bored with UK.gov IT and going back to fast jets

ISYS
Facepalm

The same but different

It appears that IT services is a very different proposition to defence manufacturing & services

Oh I don't know - Endless meetings, scope creep, over-budget and late.

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My top three IT SNAFUs - and how I fixed them

ISYS

Those were the days

A long, long time ago when I was cutting my teeth on a IT Helpdesk I took a call from a user who told me all his work had disappeared.

After a bit of questioning about how and where he saved files I established what he actually meant was that the Word document he was currently working on suddenly had no text in it. He had typing all morning and now it was gone - and what was I going to do about it!

More questioning about had he been saving as he went along (no auto-save in them days!) and what was the last thing he did.

Eventually I wore him down and he admitted he may have changed the text colour to white. He couldn't remember how and wanted to know how to make it black again!

FFS!

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Testing Windows 10 on Surface 3: Perfect combo or buggy embuggerance?

ISYS

Re: Weather chart

Yellow rain means it will be pissing it down.

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Drone penetrates Virgin's shapely space arse

ISYS
Happy

3DR Solo

Dear Santa....

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UK exam board wants kids to be able to Google answers

ISYS
Coat

Poll answer

I tried googling the correct option for the poll and haven't found the answer.

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Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES

ISYS

When I was learning to fly (about twenty something years ago now) we were all told

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate - In that order.

You see it all the time now - people walking, shopping, driving etc completely focused on their phones and not on what is going on around them.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Sizzling sag aloo

ISYS

Alternative ingredient

I don't have a large onion that I can cut in half. Would a small onion be a suitable substitute?

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

ISYS
FAIL

Quelle Suprise

Just Quelle Surprise

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

ISYS
Pint

Tres enticing

This looks delicious

It might even be an acceptable remplacant for Poisson pane entre deux tranches de pain.

2
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Elon Musk: Wanna see a multimillion-dollar rocket EXPLODE? WATCH THIS

ISYS
Pint

Have a cigar

To get the rocket that close after having already been through the launch phase and then a descent is still very impressive.

Keep going guys!

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

ISYS
Thumb Up

Re: I did a whole Bhut Jolokia

'business end of the bat mobile' - haha brilliant.

My other favourite is 'arsehole like the Japanese flag'

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Drone in NEAR-MISS with passenger jet at Heathrow airport

ISYS

not very big

A drone made of bits of metal and carbon fibre could do serious damage to any aircraft that hit it. If it was ingested in an engine it would almost certainly cause major damage.

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FOUR, count 'em, FOUR big rockets launching in next seven days

ISYS
Happy

Talking of rocket launches

Does anyone remember the LOHAN project that was going to launch last year / the spring /this Autumn?

3
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LOHAN avionics survive 27,700m stratospheric ordeal

ISYS
Pint

Still a shed

At 1:05 on the video you will spot a lawnmower - it is a shed!

QED

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Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box

ISYS

It's a tattoo on LOHAN's box and there is a photo of it online.

Sorry, still not a story

5
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LOHAN crash lands on CNN

ISYS
Happy

Well done CNN

Nice intro, factual reporting and a little bit pazaaz! to finish.

The BBC could learn a lot from this.

0
1

APPLE still building fanbois CULT HQ in Cupertino, it seems

ISYS

Looks like GCHQ...............

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1

Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM

ISYS

Am I the only person who stopped watching the video when he called it a ZEE X Spectrum?

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LOHAN tin-rattles to a whopping £27,000 on Kickstarter

ISYS
Headmaster

Re: only my opinion

Lose?

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

ISYS
Coat

Useful when you want to print a BFD

a document of ~9000 pages

7
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iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012

ISYS
Childcatcher

Apple Pay

Will this be as secure as iCloud?

4
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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

ISYS

Re: It's just mathematical equivalency

My cat's breath smells of cat food

2
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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

ISYS
Coat

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide..........

7
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Vulture 2 spaceplane autopilot brain surgery a total success

ISYS
Pint

Battery life

Just a thought - how long is the ascent? Will the batteries have enough life to wiggle the servos all the way up and then all the way back down again?

Anyway it is Friday so have beer.

0
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Pi palaver perplexes LOHAN Pixhawk pair

ISYS
Go

Does this mean you are getting closer to launching the feckin' thing?

5
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Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner: Capital is top target for computer thieves, say police

ISYS

No brainer

I live in the sticks and commute in to London every day.

In the normal world (the sticks) most people do not walk around with tech on their person other than mobile phones which are generally in the pocket most of the time. Most people drive or walk to where they are going and when they get there they talk to other humans (we call them friends and acquaintances).

In London, almost everyone is using a tablet or laptop on the tube/bus/train/coffee shop/pub/museum etc.

I think you could say London is a target rich environment.

8
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Brit balloon bod Bodnar circumnavigates planet

ISYS

Holywood

I can't wait for the Holywood film about this:

Brad Bodnar, a geek from Wisconsin who has always fancied the lead cheerleader from high school, launches his balloon. It then flies round the world until it reaches North Korea who are just about to launch a Nuke at the USA. Brad's balloon detects this (don't ask me how) and he then re-programmes it, you will see him furiously typing at a keyboard while lots of code scrolls up the screen and there is an animation of his balloon on the screen, the balloon descends in to the path of the nuke and destroys it.

Everyone is so grateful, especially the cheerleader who dumps her meat-head boyfriend and marries Brad.

President Halle Berry is at their wedding.

The End

PS - Well done Leo - A pint to you.

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Google's Pankhurst doodle doo-doo shows the perils of using Google to find stuff out

ISYS
Coat

Apparently tomorrow's Google Doodle is celebrating the first anniversary of 16th July 2013

2
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Vulture 2 fills beak with Pi in the Sky

ISYS
Pint

Re: BBC at it again

Absolutely fair play to them.

Two pints to the teacher for initiating such and interesting project (although he loses one of them for not researching where space starts).

A sneaky pint behind bike sheds to the students for getting it all working.

The BBC can buy the pints and do the washing up afterwards for pretending to be a serious news organisation.

1
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ISYS

BBC at it again

On a side note - did anyone see this today from the professionals at the BBC?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-28153130

If you watch the video the most worrying thing is that the students and the teacher are all convinced they have been to 'Space'

1
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iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

ISYS

No wonder those girls in the video need a bit of DIY - their voices are so annoying!

2
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Rockall pod-dweller braces for stormy weather

ISYS
Headmaster

Re: I know it's geeky

I know I am being pedantic but -

But is there any photos of inside the 'pod'

But are there any photos of the inside of the pod (it is a pod, you don't need quotes) and a spec (just the one?) of what it can do etc?

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Own goal as World Cup Wi-Fi passwords spilled in newspaper snap

ISYS

b5a2112014

Tw4t5!

4
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LOHAN in FIGHT to DEATH with brace of cantankerous canards

ISYS
Coat

with apologies to BlackAdder

When I was a small boy, I used to watch the Marsh Warblers swooping in my mothers undercroft, and I remember thinking "Will LOHAN ever fly?"

1
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Evernote taken out by DDoS attack

ISYS
Meh

Oh the irony

If they manage to crack my password they will find a whole notebook I made about Web security and preventing DDOS attacks!

0
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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

ISYS

Was it a Revulva?

28
1

Reg LOHAN spaceplane: Punch and Judy show in comedy non-explosive climax

ISYS

We have in a negative success situation!

1
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French firms: You want us to compile DATABASES... of our SECRET information?

ISYS
Big Brother

As the OP said - It will become French law and the French will ignore it.

6
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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

ISYS

I bet the new adapter still won't fit in the HDMI socket on the side of my laptop (right next to the USB socket)

13
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Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

ISYS
Meh

Ever tried putting one on in the dark?

0
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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

ISYS

Wow

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch

You must work for the media.

1
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O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

ISYS

Re: "Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"

"It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014."

Most people! You mean Americans and Radio 1 DJs

March isn't the 14th of anything. However most people understand the 14th 'day' of March.

10
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BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

ISYS

Pliers cause pain

Accidentally pinching the web of skin between your thumb and index finger whilst using pliers hurts like a bastard!

Before you ask - No I do not have webbed fingers.

Also - if you are unfamiliar with the phrase 'hurts like a bastard', try pinching your skin with pliers and all will be revealed.

28
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166 days later: Space Station astronauts return to Earth

ISYS

Soyuz return to earth explained

Cool video here that explains how the Soyuz, undocks, de-orbits and safely returns to earth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l7MM9yoxII

2
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Euro cops on free Wi-Fi not-so-hotspots: For pity's sake, don't use them for email

ISYS

Re: No shit Sherlock

Haha :-)

however if you were sat next to me on the train I would see you typing Shift-8 x number of times ;-)

0
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ISYS
Holmes

No shit Sherlock

I agree - don't go spraying all your sensitive data over a public Wi-Fi connection that you have no control over.

On a slightly related subject it seems a lot of people are getting lazy over data protection when in public places, especially on public transport. Many a time on my train journey I am sat next to somebody in their mobile office and can see who they work for, what they are working on, who they are communicating with, their username and password (I can see what you are typing - those asterisks do not fool me) besides a lot more.

1
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Cyber battle apparently under way in Russia-Ukraine conflict

ISYS
Coat

Times change

Sochi seems so long ago now doesn't it?

There was a clue with the failing ring though......

1
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Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

ISYS
Happy

Re: Test subject

"Average UK lifespan is 81 --- so he's currently, err, less than average."

It is now - but not when he was born ;-)

Be careful how you use statistics.

3
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ISYS
Pint

Test subject

My father, although now not a heavy drinker, was a keen homebrew wine producer and consumer for about twenty years. He enjoys bacon sarnies, beef dripping on toast, vast quantities of cheese, butter not marg, coffee by the bucket-load and red meat every day - he does not like garlic.

We celebrated his 80th birthday in December by going for a slap up meal in a pub!

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