Feeds

* Posts by ISYS

127 posts • joined 21 Jul 2011

Page:

Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

ISYS

Re: It's just mathematical equivalency

My cat's breath smells of cat food

2
0

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

ISYS
Coat

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide..........

7
0

Vulture 2 spaceplane autopilot brain surgery a total success

ISYS
Pint

Battery life

Just a thought - how long is the ascent? Will the batteries have enough life to wiggle the servos all the way up and then all the way back down again?

Anyway it is Friday so have beer.

0
0

Pi palaver perplexes LOHAN Pixhawk pair

ISYS
Go

Does this mean you are getting closer to launching the feckin' thing?

5
0

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner: Capital is top target for computer thieves, say police

ISYS

No brainer

I live in the sticks and commute in to London every day.

In the normal world (the sticks) most people do not walk around with tech on their person other than mobile phones which are generally in the pocket most of the time. Most people drive or walk to where they are going and when they get there they talk to other humans (we call them friends and acquaintances).

In London, almost everyone is using a tablet or laptop on the tube/bus/train/coffee shop/pub/museum etc.

I think you could say London is a target rich environment.

7
0

Brit balloon bod Bodnar circumnavigates planet

ISYS

Holywood

I can't wait for the Holywood film about this:

Brad Bodnar, a geek from Wisconsin who has always fancied the lead cheerleader from high school, launches his balloon. It then flies round the world until it reaches North Korea who are just about to launch a Nuke at the USA. Brad's balloon detects this (don't ask me how) and he then re-programmes it, you will see him furiously typing at a keyboard while lots of code scrolls up the screen and there is an animation of his balloon on the screen, the balloon descends in to the path of the nuke and destroys it.

Everyone is so grateful, especially the cheerleader who dumps her meat-head boyfriend and marries Brad.

President Halle Berry is at their wedding.

The End

PS - Well done Leo - A pint to you.

15
0

Google's Pankhurst doodle doo-doo shows the perils of using Google to find stuff out

ISYS
Coat

Apparently tomorrow's Google Doodle is celebrating the first anniversary of 16th July 2013

2
0

Vulture 2 fills beak with Pi in the Sky

ISYS
Pint

Re: BBC at it again

Absolutely fair play to them.

Two pints to the teacher for initiating such and interesting project (although he loses one of them for not researching where space starts).

A sneaky pint behind bike sheds to the students for getting it all working.

The BBC can buy the pints and do the washing up afterwards for pretending to be a serious news organisation.

1
0
ISYS

BBC at it again

On a side note - did anyone see this today from the professionals at the BBC?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-28153130

If you watch the video the most worrying thing is that the students and the teacher are all convinced they have been to 'Space'

1
0

iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

ISYS

No wonder those girls in the video need a bit of DIY - their voices are so annoying!

2
0

Rockall pod-dweller braces for stormy weather

ISYS
Headmaster

Re: I know it's geeky

I know I am being pedantic but -

But is there any photos of inside the 'pod'

But are there any photos of the inside of the pod (it is a pod, you don't need quotes) and a spec (just the one?) of what it can do etc?

6
0

Own goal as World Cup Wi-Fi passwords spilled in newspaper snap

ISYS

b5a2112014

Tw4t5!

4
0

LOHAN in FIGHT to DEATH with brace of cantankerous canards

ISYS
Coat

with apologies to BlackAdder

When I was a small boy, I used to watch the Marsh Warblers swooping in my mothers undercroft, and I remember thinking "Will LOHAN ever fly?"

1
0

Evernote taken out by DDoS attack

ISYS
Meh

Oh the irony

If they manage to crack my password they will find a whole notebook I made about Web security and preventing DDOS attacks!

0
0

Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

ISYS

Was it a Revulva?

28
1

Reg LOHAN spaceplane: Punch and Judy show in comedy non-explosive climax

ISYS

We have in a negative success situation!

1
0

French firms: You want us to compile DATABASES... of our SECRET information?

ISYS
Big Brother

As the OP said - It will become French law and the French will ignore it.

6
0

BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

ISYS

I bet the new adapter still won't fit in the HDMI socket on the side of my laptop (right next to the USB socket)

13
0

Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

ISYS
Meh

Ever tried putting one on in the dark?

0
0

How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

ISYS

Wow

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch

You must work for the media.

1
0

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

ISYS

Re: "Of all the many and varied stupid things in the world"

"It's not exactly stupid - most people are more inclined to say "March 14th" than "the 14th of March", after all. It just isn't hierarchical to talk about March 14th 2014."

Most people! You mean Americans and Radio 1 DJs

March isn't the 14th of anything. However most people understand the 14th 'day' of March.

10
0

BuzzGasm: 9 Incredible Things You Never Knew About PLIERS!

ISYS

Pliers cause pain

Accidentally pinching the web of skin between your thumb and index finger whilst using pliers hurts like a bastard!

Before you ask - No I do not have webbed fingers.

Also - if you are unfamiliar with the phrase 'hurts like a bastard', try pinching your skin with pliers and all will be revealed.

28
0

166 days later: Space Station astronauts return to Earth

ISYS

Soyuz return to earth explained

Cool video here that explains how the Soyuz, undocks, de-orbits and safely returns to earth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l7MM9yoxII

2
0

Euro cops on free Wi-Fi not-so-hotspots: For pity's sake, don't use them for email

ISYS

Re: No shit Sherlock

Haha :-)

however if you were sat next to me on the train I would see you typing Shift-8 x number of times ;-)

0
0
ISYS
Holmes

No shit Sherlock

I agree - don't go spraying all your sensitive data over a public Wi-Fi connection that you have no control over.

On a slightly related subject it seems a lot of people are getting lazy over data protection when in public places, especially on public transport. Many a time on my train journey I am sat next to somebody in their mobile office and can see who they work for, what they are working on, who they are communicating with, their username and password (I can see what you are typing - those asterisks do not fool me) besides a lot more.

1
1

Cyber battle apparently under way in Russia-Ukraine conflict

ISYS
Coat

Times change

Sochi seems so long ago now doesn't it?

There was a clue with the failing ring though......

1
0

Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

ISYS
Happy

Re: Test subject

"Average UK lifespan is 81 --- so he's currently, err, less than average."

It is now - but not when he was born ;-)

Be careful how you use statistics.

2
0
ISYS
Pint

Test subject

My father, although now not a heavy drinker, was a keen homebrew wine producer and consumer for about twenty years. He enjoys bacon sarnies, beef dripping on toast, vast quantities of cheese, butter not marg, coffee by the bucket-load and red meat every day - he does not like garlic.

We celebrated his 80th birthday in December by going for a slap up meal in a pub!

6
0

Volvo tries to KILL SHOPPING with to-your-car Roam Delivery

ISYS

Lesser of the two evils

I would rather trudge round the shops than admit that I drive a Volvo.

3
1

Bangable poster firm Novalia makes printed 'leccy keyboard

ISYS
Happy

Yay!

33 years after it was first launched we can now print our own ZX-81

7
0

NSA, GCHQ, accused of hacking Belgian smartcard crypto guru

ISYS
Holmes

First the Headlines

Spy agencies are spying on people!

and in other news, Scientists have discovered that bears do indeed shit in the woods.

And now the weather...

1
17

El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

ISYS
Pint

Universal connector

Bare wires and insulation tape/matchsticks.

My father could connect anything to anything with the above - however this sometimes meant replacing the house fuses with something a bit more reliable like a nail.

Happy days...

4
0

Yes, HP will still sue you if you make cartridges for its inkjet printers

ISYS

HP print management software

I have an HP Multi Function Laserjet - Apart from the appalling noise it makes at random times of the day when it suddenly decides to 'calibrate' itself it is providing me with some amusement.

I should explain I work from home and the printer is used several times a day. For some months now it has been tellling me that the toner is low in all four of the cartridges - the black one since before the summer. The pop-up messages are getting more and more stressy as it is convinced that I should have shelled out at least £50 per cartridge by now.

I am waiting to see what will happen first, I actually run out of toner or the pop up has a complete breakdown.

0
0

MP 'shocked' at failures 'at the top' of the BBC over epic DMI tech fail

ISYS
Holmes

Pot - Kettle - Black

7
0

Haribo gummy bears implicated in 'gastric exorcism'

ISYS
Childcatcher

Shit yourself slim

Feed them to all the obese kids that the Daily Mirror keeps banging on about.

For our American Cousins - The Daily Mirror is a 'news' paper that tells stupid people in the UK all the things they need to worry about (most bad things are the result of hoards of immigrants btw).

0
1

Latest Chrome adds Chrome OS flavor to Windows 8 'Metro' mode

ISYS

Guinness is Irish not British........

2
0
ISYS
Pint

Not pedantic - just preserving correct English.

A pint of real beer to you.

3
2

Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

ISYS

Re: Open question

Thanks (and to Mr Wilkinson)

That makes sense.

These rocket scientists are bloody clever aren't they.

0
0
ISYS
Pint

Open question

Reading this line - "During the lunar night, the lander and the rover were in a power-off condition and the communication with Earth was also cut off" has reminded me of something that has always confused me.

How do they switch it back on again? Is it on a timer?

Anyway - well done to Jade Rabbit and all the team.

0
0

Hubble 'scope snaps 600-LIGHT-YEAR-wide pic of star-spawning nebula

ISYS
Headmaster

Re: grammar chequer?

Spelling surely?

0
0

iPhone fanbois outsmart fandroids in totally reliable test of brain power

ISYS

Ummm

All this proves is that iPhone users are quicker to get the correct answers - not that they got more.

0
0

Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

ISYS

Re: Makes sense to me...

Mod is now normally used as an abbreviation of 'Modification'

24
0

MPs back call to boycott low-taxed tat from Amazon over Xmas

ISYS

Good Luck with that

Persuade people drive to their local town, drive round for ages looking for a parking space, battle through the crowds, placate their bored kids with a crappy meal from any number of foreign owned, tax avoiding food concessions and queue for hours in crowded stores that may or may not have what you want in stock. If they do it will cost nearly half as much as it does on the internet.

Alternatively - Buy it now - delivered to you door 2-5 working days later. All from the comfort of your armchair.

21
1

Supermodel Lily Cole in Impossible partnership with Jimbo Wales, YOU

ISYS
Paris Hilton

Lily Cole's best contribution to the internet is her work with Juergen Teller........

0
0

Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

ISYS
Coat

A penetrating run in to the box......

8
0

Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

ISYS

Don't Panic!

XP IS NOT going to stop working in 100 days time.

Also I am sure that the Indian banks are using more 'up to date' back end technology. All XP is used for is as desktop. It will continue to run most applications and with a browser it can access the internet and the cloud. If they really needed to upgrade they would probably go for Windows 7.

Microsoft are sh1tting themselves because, like the rest of us, no businesses in their right mind wan't to purchase Windows 8.

25
3

Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

ISYS
Pint

WIth apologies to Vera Lynne

Whale meat again,

Don't know where,

Don't know when.....

A pint to his memory.

14
0

Ahhh, SATISFACTION: Watch while we set a NAS on FIRE

ISYS
Coat

Someone call the Fire BIG RAID.............

Sorry!

14
0

Do+ you+ use+ Google+? Seemingly+ you+ DO+

ISYS

Re: Im with G+

Ghostery is your friend

www.ghostery.com

0
0

Page: