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* Posts by Andy Prough

709 posts • joined 15 Jul 2011

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Apple analyst: fruity firm set to shift 75 million iPhones

Andy Prough
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Re: 75 million

Eh - are they finally getting the swipe this year? Too bad - it was a good troll for such a long time.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: 75 million

75 million --- new phones that still can't swipe.

Tap-tap-tap, fanbois...

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Clock ticking for Surface 3 as Microsoft preps for globo-launch

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: "Surface is a B2B machine"

You're the one that said "box to bin". If I did pay for one I would certainly figure out how to use it rather than binning it.

I've got an HP ultrabook with Win 8.1 and a screen that detaches as a tablet - and I've got plenty of use out of it. About the last thing I would do would be to throw it in the trash.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: "Surface is a B2B machine"

@hplasm - "Box to bin?"

Why - are you incapable of figuring out how to turn one on and use it? I've never laid hands on one, but I certainly don't feel so stupid that I couldn't get some use out of it.

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Now even Internet Explorer will throw lousy old Java into the abyss

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: the world is weird now

I've been administering different versions of Windows safely and productively for many, many years now, including quite a few current instances of Win 8.1. I also use different flavors of Linux, Android, and Chrome OS when I need them - also safely and productively. The right tool for the right job.

If you can't figure out how to do the same, that reflects more poorly on you than on anything M$ has or hasn't done.

While sometimes a bit slow and cranky, Windows has been a completely adequate OS since XP. The folks who have problems are the ones downloading pirated music, movies and warez - and it's hard to feel much sympathy.

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For Lenovo US, 8-inch Windows tablets are DEAD – long live 8-inch Windows tablets

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Why would anyone want Windows (especially 8) on a tablet?

Oh, I dunno. Maybe to run your productivity programs if you work in an office that uses Windows-only software? Like about 80% of the offices in the world? Dumbass.

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Chrome browser has been DRAINING PC batteries for YEARS

Andy Prough
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My thoughts exactly.

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Chromebook Pixel owners' promised free data plans being prematurely axed

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Oh no - I'm not getting my free 100mb of data per month

Guess I won't be able to watch those six-and-a-half minutes of Game of Thrones re-runs I was looking forward to in July.

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Foxconn to take on 100 THOUSAND workers prior to iPhone 6 launch

Andy Prough
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Trollface

But...

It will have a "6" on it.

The Buzzgasm will be larger than the Big Bang.

Silly Reg - not seeing "innovation" when it drops from the sky onto their heads and wraps it's tentacles around their faces.

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Researchers warn of preloaded spyware in Android handsets

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Malwarebytes for Android free

@sandtitz - I wasn't trolling (for once). I don't think Malwarebytes will do any good on compromised hardware like this Chinese handset. I was just throwing it out there that I found the app useful on Android, nothing more. And I wouldn't download any Android security software from a non-play store location. Just like I wouldn't recommend anyone download security software for an iPhone from a non-iTunes site.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Malwarebytes for Android free

Been using it recently. Seems like a fairly similar experience to the desktop version - real time scanning, some daily schedule scans. Haven't noticed any performance hit at all. It's in the Google play store.

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Ericsson: There'll be over 9 BILLION mobe subscribers by 2019

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Double duty

When I go to meetings anymore, I'm one of the few people who only has one cell phone sitting on the table. Mine sits there quietly as I switch it to no sound or vibration and send everyone to voicemail. Some colleagues, however, sit and fiddle with both phones throughout the meetings. The iPhone users are the most likely to have two and to be constantly playing with them.

Strange world. I read a book by PJ O'Rourke some years ago in which he described Hong Kong as the busiest city in the world, with nearly every citizen seeming to own two or more businesses and seeming to talk into two cell phones at the same time, one in each ear. America's got that beat now - our folks can Tweet and Facebook on two phones at the same time.

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Google: OK world, make our 'End-to-End' crypto tool SPOOK PROOF

Andy Prough
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Linux

Re: Google, privacy

Could you possibly suck more, AC? You would prefer to trust your privacy to M$ and Apple I'm sure? Maybe AOL? Yahoo?

Have you ever thought for a second that at least Google uses and supports open source software in their efforts, and many of their tools can be audited?

Dipshit.

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What data recovery software would you suggest?

Andy Prough
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Holmes

FBackup

FBackup 5. Mirror backup everything onto an external hard drive. Grab the drive and go - instant on the road access to all your files from any system. Fast and free.

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SCIENCE explains why you LOVE the smell of BACON

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Yank my chain

The Brits can't even get bacon right? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. They can't drive on the correct side of the road, can't play a proper game of baseball, and have no idea how to pronounce "garage" or "vitamin" or "mobile".

It's a damned good thing my ancestors fought and died for my freedom over 235 years ago. Give me freedom to eat crisp, fat bacon slices or give me death.

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New 'Windows-8.1-with-Bing': How's it different from Windows 8.1?

Andy Prough
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Boffin

Not until MS does a major overhaul of the Office interface. The menus and buttons are so tiny that trying to use Office on anything less than about a 13.3 inch touchscreen is quite tricky, probably requiring a stylus of some sort. I've got a 13.3 inch tablet, and even there some of the menu items are nearly impossibly small to stab with a finger.

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Office website HACKED: Passwords, addresses, phone numbers slurped

Andy Prough
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Trollface

Re: I see what you did there

Evil el Reg.

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Rap chap tapped for $3 BEELLION: Apple buys Dr Dre's Beats

Andy Prough
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Re: WTF?

The King of the Lossy Codec purchases a bass-boosting acoustic-disruption hardware biz for $3 billion.

What's to lose? Besides 10%-20% more of the musical quality.

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Google crafts neural network to watch over its data centers

Andy Prough
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Re: doesn't seem very amazing

@Nate Amsden - "The term 'neural network' sounds very sophisticated but the system described seems like a collection of scripts and some algorithms that look at these 19 points and react based on them."

Agreed - this is still just programming, although clearly a bit sophisticated. But there's no true "learning" going on - just an adjustment to new inputs.

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Facebook exec: I HATE the INTERNET and I REALLY hate journalism

Andy Prough
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Boffin

@AC - you are on the wrong site. I don't recall many instances of "yay piracy is awesome" on el Reg. You must be thinking of slashdot. Around here, it's mostly "pirated content and software is a massive risk for malware".

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Yup. Content in this day and age is completely underwhelming and lackluster. The only thing worse than the journalism content is the social media content.

I hate the fact that I have an awesome smartphone, an awesome tablet, an awesome ultrabook, and hardly any worthwhile content to use them with. And Hollywood movies and TV shows are getting more shit by the year for some strange reason. More and more technology, and yet their stories are more and more shit.

Thank god for the Reg.

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Tech sector still loves its slaves: study

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Meanwhile...

@Charles Manning - "The labourers clamour for these jobs because the other jobs are WORSE! From a perspective of an employee, these are often excellent jobs."

Some of the manufacturing and packaging jobs, yes. But one thing the group is saying is that many of the minerals being used are being extracted from the ground via slave labor, and it's in the big company's best interests to "not know" about it. I doubt too many workers are clamoring to become slave laborers.

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Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

Andy Prough
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Gimp

Re: "Surface ***3***. i.e. this is our 3rd attempt after 2 dismal failures"

@Kris - "> It's extremely rare to get it right first time.

Keep telling yourself that."

Yeah - we all know Apple never got anything wrong.

I mean besides the Apple III.

And Lisa.

And Puck mouse.

And the ROKR iTunes phone (what you didn't know Apple tried to sell a screwed up piece of garbage phone in 2005 before they figured out the iPhone?)

And Newton.

And Pippin (what? You didn't know Apple tried to sell a PlayStation competitor that flopped so bad it never sold 100,000 units?)

And eMate.

And QuickTake digital camera. (and Quicktime for that matter).

And iPod HiFi.

And MobileMe.

Should I continue?

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: "Surface ***3***. i.e. this is our 3rd attempt after 2 dismal failures"

Yup. Xbox too. They just keep grinding along until they have a winning product.

Except don't say the word "Zune". Bad word in Redmond, apparently.

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Andy Prough
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Windows

Nice!

I'll take two. This is exactly what MS should have done - the 10 inch screens are too small for the tiny MS Office menus.

Just send the bill to someone else please.

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More chance you came a cropper on a UK road than bought a Chromebook this year

Andy Prough
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Boffin

I got one, messed with it, tried crouton, took it on a couple of simple business trips. Nice and light - I liked it. Then one day my daughter picked it up to do high school homework with - I haven't touched it in over a year now and she loves it. And I spend zero maintenance time on it. Best $250 I ever spent on a family computer.

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Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

Andy Prough
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Pint

Re: Here is hoping...

@Longrod - "Here is hoping... They cleaned the ATM afterwards!!"

Apparently you haven't been in a bar in Tennessee recently.

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Latest Snowden leak claims NSA bugged ALL mobile calls in the Bahamas

Andy Prough
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Trollface

@Christoph - "The US has constitutional rights to protect 'real' people - US citizens. Everybody else is considered sub-human and doesn't have those rights."

And your point is??

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BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

Andy Prough
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Trollface

Re: Whats the matter?

"Demonstrating the Breit-Wheeler theory would be the final piece of research needed to describe the simplest ways light and matter interact and help to solve one of physics’ greatest mysteries - gamma ray bursts, THE BIGGEST EXPLOSIONS IN THE UNIVERSE."

-- has anyone stopped to think that this experiment might be a BAD IDEA??

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iPhone-stroker-turned-fandroid sues Apple over iMessage text-slurpery

Andy Prough
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Highly illegal.

@Frankee Llonnygog - that was incredibly stupid and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time. Have a thumbs up.

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Motorola Moto E: Brill budget blower with one bothersome blunder

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Front facing camera

What are you - a bunch of 12-year old girls? The last time I used the front cam on one of my phones was .... let me think .... NEVER.

Oh wait - sorry - there was that time I had to apply eye liner and my compact mirror broke. NOT. Get a freaking life dudes.

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Bitcoin blockchain allegedly infected by ancient 'Stoned' virus

Andy Prough
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Thumb Up

STONED

"Since STONED is a 27-year-old relic from the DOS days – all it did was pop up a boot message telling users “Your PC is now STONED”."

Ahhh - the good old days - when virus writers were just trying to have a bit of fun...

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Apple pulls iPhone 4 from sale in India after just four months

Andy Prough
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Holmes

reason Apple scoops so much of the industry's profit

a) grab all the free, open source software you can get your hands on, as long as it isn't encumbered by a nasty GPL license, and sell it for a massive premium

b) manufacture everything in the world's lowest cost labor markets while selling it all at a massive premium in the world's richest countries

c) get buy-in from the top execs in Hollywood so that your kit is featured in every big movie, driving the hipsters into wild fits of salivating consumer lust

d) invoice all sales as transactions from an Irish subsidiary with zero employees

e) pay a zero corporate tax rate

f) use green energy for cloud storage which is 2% of your corporate energy needs, while using the most toxic sources of energy for the 98% energy needs of manufacturing. Applaud yourself as a progressive corporation to hipster nation to increase sales even more

That's how it's done

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ZTE Open C, the Firefox OS mobe you'll almost want, now on eBay

Andy Prough
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Re: Won't wow?

One problem for Firefox and ZTE is that the Motorola G already hit that price on a lot of plans, but comes with far superior hardware specs and runs KitKat.

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Researcher says Apple fibs about crypto for iOS email attachments

Andy Prough
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Trollface

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

Our encryption algorithm is so sneaky...encrypted attachments look just like the plain text of a message you really sent. Really messes with those hacker's minds.

Besides - you were holding it wrong. Squeeze tighter if you want a different encryption algorithm - d'uh!

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Tablet boom quiets down a bit as growth slows

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Any surprise?

Besides which, most of the apps suck, and much of the content sucks. And many of the input methods and input and storage restrictions suck.

Other than those three things, tablets are awesome.

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Friends don't let friends use Internet Explorer – advice from US, UK, EU

Andy Prough
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Boffin

Re: This sort of thing doesn't happen

@cap'n - "If you do want IE working (for whatever reason) try this - go to search 'internet options'. You get the default options that are available in IE but that you probably cannot access. Then go to the advanced tab, and hit the 'reset' button."

Nope. Same thing - IE never starts up at all. I've read that it's some corrupted Win process, and I could use DISM.exe from the command line to fix it (MS's "Deployment Image Servicing and Management tool"). I just had to go through a variety of uses of DISM to get Win Update working again, not really looking forward to spending a couple more hours watching DISM spin away and finding the exact correct command line parameters that will get IE working. Especially for a browser I'll probably never use again.

Maybe in a couple weeks, next time I get seriously bored.

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Andy Prough
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Boffin

Re: This sort of thing doesn't happen

...and oh by the way, I tried out the M$ "Enhanced Mitigation Experience Toolkit". It's REALLY GOOD - at SLOWING YOUR COMPUTER to a zombie-death-crawl.

Gives Norton a run for its money.

This is the future of computing - machines that spend 100% of their processing power on security algorithms and that do zero actual work. Correct that - this may actually be the current state of computing.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: This sort of thing doesn't happen

...to me.

Because IE hasn't been working AT ALL on Win 8.1 on my machine. Refuses to open. There are lots of complaints about it on the support forums too. Brilliant move M$ - update your OS and bork your browser.

Which is fine - it's crap anyway. The two websites that didn't work well without it - I found I could get along just fine without them.

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Reg hack hacked off by iPhone 5 repair notice

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Don't get too excited ...

@rapidwiz - "All this genius wanted to do was open the phone and check for water damage so he could ding me,"

I've heard this repeatedly about genius bar service. I buy all my gear at Best Buy instead, and get their no hassle warranties. Those guys love to help me. Cracked screen, water damage - they don't care. Handed me a brand new Motorola phone that was $100 less than my old, cracked Samsung two weeks ago. For the $100, I got a new two year warranty and found myself an Otterbox Defender series for the phone. And i had a much faster, nicer phone than the Samsung for free, with KitKat as the first update.

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Bankrupt Bitcoin bunker blender begins: MtGox admin starts liquefaction

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Expensive

@d3rrial - he might have needed a little bit of "protection" money also....

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Andy Prough
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Big Brother

Kind of funny that the bitcoins disappeared about the same time that Snowden was going to be needing money for a security deposit on a new Russian flat...

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Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

Andy Prough
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Facepalm

Re: More Concerned About Safety Gear

@AC - "Err, no. For the direction she is cutting (ie- pulling), the rotation of the blade means that it is pulling the grinder down, so if she "hit a hard spot", the grinder would jump forward (away from her) or would wedge itself further down and stop."

You obviously don't cut much. Let me tell you, a grinder or a circular saw will gladly skip toward you in the opposite direction the blade is turning if given half a chance. I've got a couple of scars (small, fortunately) to prove it. You definitely want to push that rotating blade out away from your body - gives you much more leverage and control to keep it off your body.

Don't ever rely on the direction of the blade's rotation to tell you where the grinder/saw is going to end up once it decides to skip out of its groove.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: More Concerned About Safety Gear

She's cutting in the wrong direction. Dangerous to cut towards yourself - hit a hard spot, and that blade comes up out of the groove and straight at her legs.

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Teen student texter busts 20-second tongue-twisty SMS barrier

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Obviously autocomplete

So - iOS is the only major smartphone OS left where you can't do swyping or "word flow"?

Tap, tap, tap, fanbois...

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Bevy of tech behemoths aim to plug the next Heartbleed with DOLLARS

Andy Prough
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Re: Apple would have thrown in a few bucks

@Bronek - you can't play both sides of the argument. Either you share the wealth with those whose technology you gobble up, or you don't. Google does, Apple doesn't.

The connection between OpenSSL and NetBSD? Neither one of them appears to see a penny of Cupertino's vast fortune, even though some of their code gets shipped with the iGadgets.

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Andy Prough
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Pirate

Re: Apple would have thrown in a few bucks

@Bronek - "Apple oferred money to OpenSSL once, to help implement support for dynamic libraries and the offer was rejected in no uncertain terms. This led Apple to never upgrading OpenSSL in its products and, in the words of their engineer "taking it behind a shed and shot". I do not think there is much appettite in Apple to offer the money again."

Google paid $300 million to the Mozilla foundation last year.

The NetBSD foundation, whose products and services ultimately benefit OSX, had a total income of $26,000 last year.

I can see why a foundation might reject Apple's offer of assistance.

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Andy Prough
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Trollface

Apple would have thrown in a few bucks

But all the cash is tied up in Irish tax-avoidance schemes, unfortunately...

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Patch iOS, OS X now: PDFs, JPEGs, URLs, web pages can pwn your kit

Andy Prough
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Trollface

Re: Did they fix the bug where you can't use a Swype keyboard?

@AC - "As an impartial observer I'd say Prough's original post seems almost totally irrelevant, but Sean bilbo baggins reply is positively spittle flecked. Neither comes out of this looking good, and the discussion thread on a relatively interesting article descends into immature "did", "didn't", "did too!" arguments."

This article originally was about iOS updates to the built-in keyboard, but when the new "Triple Handshake" security info became available, El Reg completely changed the article but left the original comments. Now all these comments about iPhone keyboards look pretty silly, but it was still a fair bit of trolling on my part, if I do say so myself. Certainly seemed to get some fanboy's knickers in a twist. And what's more fun than that?

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Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Did they fix the bug where you can't use a Swype keyboard?

Not yet?

Tat-tap-tap, fanbois...

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