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* Posts by Andy Prough

832 posts • joined 15 Jul 2011

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Windows Phone will snatch biz No 2 spot from Android – analyst

Andy Prough
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Windows 10

Oh, good lord that was funny. You owe me a new $200 keyboard, pal.

And I'll take a new mouse while you're at it. And a nice set of speakers. Don't get me anything that says "Beats" on it, please.

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Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Google finally finds out how it feels....

The Googlers are just trying to keep up with the Jobs's. They heard there were massive profits to be made putting out broken software and bendy phones...

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Andy Prough
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Linux

Re: Jeez...

@Ted - don't be silly. We all know that Ebola was caused by systemd.

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Official: European members prefer to fondle Apple iPads

Andy Prough
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Facepalm

Re: Obviously...

Oh dear - I hope this doesn't mean that they'll start showing up for work in skinny jeans.

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SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: As a long-time Linux user...

More like SCO.

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Andy Prough
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Linux

As a long-time Linux user...

...I'm really feeling butt-hurt over this.

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You know where Apple Pay is getting used a LOT? Yes - McDonalds

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: So....

Not the recession. Here in good ol 'Merica, Walmart is now one of the biggest sellers of iPhones and iPads. Can't walk into a Walley-mart without being bombarded with signage for super-sales on Apple goodies.

And you know where Bubba and Cindylou are headed once they've picked up their new shiny-shiny from Walmart? Straight to Mickey-D's for a double-bacon double-cheese BigMac, super fries and an extra large DIET Coke (got to watch those calories, you know). Fortunately for Bubba and Cindylou and their aching knees, most Walmarts in 'Merica now have a McDonalds right inside the store.

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Now Uber can take EVERYONE for a ride

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Ass, gas or cash - no one rides for free. By K-Dee (produced by Ice Cube)

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Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: eh???

Well, this Toshiba one is good, even with the 1GB ram and the Atom processor. "Encore 2" it's called. I'm running MS Office, Libre Office, Adobe Acrobat Pro, Chrome, MS Note, all kinds of video and audio programs - no problem at all. Haven't tried any games or video editing, but I'm not much of a gamer or movie maker, One thing I'm surprised to find is that it has GPS. It's certainly a lot more useful than my old Kindle or my wife's iPad. At least it has real programs and a desktop. Doesn't seem any slower than an iPad or Kindle for anything I've tried - really it's about as fast as my laptop when it comes to opening programs and web pages and so forth.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: eh???

Yeah, I got a Toshiba Win8 tablet as a no-charge replacement from BestBuy when I turned in my borked Kindle a few weeks back. It's just got 1 GB ram and the Atom processor, but works real nice. Not slow at all, unless I try to open too much stuff at once. But when you consider most iOS and Android tablets don't really multi-process at all, it's a pretty sweet little deal probably for $99. I've been using it quite a bit.

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The last PC replacement cycle is about to start turning

Andy Prough
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Holmes

"and run all the important apps"

This is why laptops (and yes, even desktops) will remain relevant far longer than another "replacement cycle" - content creation apps on smartphones and tablets are complete and utter garbage.

Ever try scanning 10,000 pages into a tablet, OCR'ing them, keyword searching, cropping relevant portions, and inserting those portions into a slide show or video presentation? I just listed 6 things you aren't going to do effectively on a smartphone or tablet anytime in the next couple of replacement cycles, because the apps simply don't exist at all or don't have anywhere near the necessary functionality. And yet, those functions are necessary for most law offices - so you've just taken the entire legal profession off the map.

What about design engineering? Architecture? Accounting? Etc, etc, etc. The apps don't exist, or the ones that do are such complete and utter crap as to make working on one for professional content creation completely impossible.

Yes, a sysadmin could do a little coding, and remote into some systems on a smartphone, and throw an image onto a larger screen, and connect a keyboard - we've all experienced it. Yay! That functionality has existed in some fashion since the Palm Pilot was hip though, keep in mind. I did nearly all those things with my first Blackberry just for kicks. Telling me that a sysadmin can keep some servers running from a handheld is absolutely nothing new, and has absolutely nothing to do with "the death of the PC".

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SO LONELY: Woman DARED to get rid of her iPHONE - Apple DUMPED all her TXTS

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Tim Cook...

...morphing into Bill Gates right before our eyes...

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Patch Windows boxes NOW – unless you want to be owned by a web page or network packet

Andy Prough
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Paris Hilton

Re: "Someone, come up with a catchy logo for this SSL hole"

ASSLSHOLE?

I'm a little confused...

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Update FAIL (?)

@Swiss Anton - "thankfully other browsers seem to be OK so I can still access El Reg"

Proof - There IS a God in Heaven! What would you do without your daily Reg?

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Got an iPhone or iPad? LOOK OUT for MASQUE-D INTRUDERS

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Malware on my wife's iPhone

Dear Reg,

My wife was having all kinds of trouble with her iPhone last week, and she asked me to look at it. I found that it has a massive chunk of malware/spyware on it called "iOS8". It seems to apparently be vacuuming all her personal data, emails, credit cards, thumbprints, etc, into a hideously slow, second-rate music-sharing app called "iTunes".

Anyone know how to get rid of it? Can I just replace it with CyanogenMod and get her back to using a functional phone? Or do I have to buy her a proper Windows 8 phone?

Sincerely,

Anxious in America

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OFFICIAL: Fondling of Apple's slab declines – iPad sales DOWN in Q3

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

People who say "umm" on the internet...

...are too afraid to simply say "you are a lying f'ing liar". Don't live in fear any longer. Leave your "ummm" addiction behind.

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Fanboi-and-fanfare-free fondleslabs fail to fire imagination

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Whats next?

Since the apps are almost all on the level of children's games (same goes for Android), and you can't get much real work done, what's next will obviously be Windows and Linux (Ubuntu or distros with KDE Plasma) fighting for control of the tablet market. As anyone could have predicted 5 years ago.

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Apple's OS X Yosemite slurps UNSAVED docs into iCloud

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: So....

What could possibly go wrong?

Man sits at shiny new Mac, starts Word document promoting his company's new skin creams:

"Your wrinkles will melt away with AceCo's nuclear bomb treatment".

Damned auto-correct!! Corrects text to read:

"Your wrinkles will melt away with AceCo's New Clear Balm treatment".

Hears wife from the foyer - "Dear, there are men dressed in black with guns drawn at the door!!"

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Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: My first Wooden Twig of Fail

Amazingly it does have a weird glow - like a twig that fell out of a Unicorn's magical ass. Remarkable really. And it dances quite nicely to Blondie's "Atomic".

I'm going to reproduce it, call it the "iTwig", and sell it for $1,399 each. The 32GB version will cost $1,799, and will have a thumb-sensor and NFC for easy pay-bonk.

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Andy Prough
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Linux

My first Wooden Twig of Fail

Such a proud moment. Sniff. Right up there with the births of my children.

And thank you fanbois nation for this amazing shiny trophy. I couldn't do what I do without your wonderful, predictable downvotes and rant responses anytime I compare Torvalds to Saint Jobs. I'm going to keep my Wooden Twig trophy on my mantel - right next to the iPod Nano with the cracked screen and the download of the entire "Eat to the Beat" album by Blondie.

(BTW - I did get 17 upvotes, so I beat the Ploppr "bump to dump" commenter 8.5 to 1).

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Revealed: The amazing magical innovation in the iPad Mini 3 – a lick of paint

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Thinness.

@AC - "Also Applecare now includes insurance for accidental damage - so smash up your iPhone / iPad and you can it fixed or replaced for an excess of about £50..."

Who are you talking to? Why would I care? Your comments aren't even responsive to anything I said in any perceptible way. I was discussing the ribbon cables being glued down, and how it seems to be done in order to ensure repairs are not attempted. Are you just copying and pasting Apple promo for some reason? News flash - the purchasing public isn't reading this forum - I don't think your evangelizing efforts are going to gain you any new iWorshipers.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: Thinness.

Not sure why thinness means that you have to glue down all the ribbon cables. Seems like the only reason to do that is to make darn sure no one ever repairs one. Keep that upgrade purchase cycle alive and well.

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Wanna hop carriers with your iPad's Apple SIM? AVOID AT&T

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Call me crazy but...

...no way in hell I'm ever paying rent to Apple AND AT&T for the right to access my content on a freaking TABLET.

So no - I won't be having switching problems. This is apparently a problem for rich, hipster goofballs. Thanks for the word of warning though.

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Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory...

"All M$ had to do was the option to change between metro and a start button and it would have been a great release"

All MS had to do was nothing and let Classic Shell take over the desktop menu. Which is exactly what happened for any intelligent user of Win 8.

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Jeff Bezos rolls up another $437m, lights Amazon's cigar with it

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

How much did they blow on Fire phone?

Got to figure they've blown a couple billion easy on putting out one of the worst phones of the year. If you can't get over a 2-star review rating on your own website for the phone, might as well drop it.

If all they do is stop chasing boondoggles like that, they'll be out of the red pretty quickly.

And by the way Amazon - your Kindle is a wonderful device, but your app store apps get older and dustier by the day. Let the people have Chrome and access to the Play Store - clearly you aren't making much money off 2-year old versions of apps.

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DOUBLE BONK: Fanbois catch Apple Pay picking pockets

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: #Bonkgate?

Bonkgate and Bendgate - Apple seems to have a one-track mind recently...

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Forget the $2499 5K iMac – today we reveal Apple's most expensive computer to date

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Now that's just going too far

"Similar to what Henry Ford did with the Model T, Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs put technology directly in the hands of the people".

That quote applies far more to the work of Torvalds than anything the two Steves ever did. Without cheap LAMP servers, broadband internet would be too expensive to afford, and there would be no services like iTunes, Google, etc to connect to. Without cheap as chips Android phones, half the world still wouldn't be connected with any kind of computing device.

The vast majority of everything that we have in terms of interconnectedness of billions of people rests on one fundamental decision - Torvalds' initial decision to license the Linux kernel under the GPL.

Compared to the work of Torvalds, Apple is practically just a savvy marketer of high priced luxury goods for the ultra-wealthy.

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Google puts Chrome credentials on USB drives for two-factor authentication

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Kind of nice

The new keys are cross platform - Win, Max, Linux.

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UNIX greybeards threaten Debian fork over systemd plan

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Re: the "fun" part about systemd

Again - if you want to install Gnome under Gentoo then systemd is the default, and really the only way to install it without doing some serious mucking around under the hood. To just say "systemd is not the default on Gentoo" kind of twists that fact.

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Andy Prough
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Linux

Or they could just do what long-bearded hippies have always done...

root@slackware:/# setup

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Whisper tracks its users. So we tracked down its LA office. This is what happened next

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Yes - Apple has totally responded to bendgate and selfie-gate. They blamed them on users, of course.

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Andy Prough
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Holmes

Meanwhile inside the office...

The execs are all gathered around a window, asking "do you think it will just go away, or do we have to shoot it with this totally legal assault rifle? Turn off it's posting privileges again, see if it leaves."

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FYI: OS X Yosemite's Spotlight tells Apple EVERYTHING you're looking for

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I've had enough

@AC - "Assuming your not a troll and are serious, with what are you planning to replace you Macbook with?"

I'm sure he will want to replace his Macbook with "the most secure computer you’ll ever own":

http://www.theverge.com/2014/4/29/5664884/this-is-the-most-secure-computer-you-ll-ever-own

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Xperia Z3: Crikey, Sony – ANOTHER flagship phondleslab?

Andy Prough
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Re: 16GB

@AC - "My apps take up more than 16GB".

You have too many apps. Do you really need all 50 Flappy Bird clones?

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Andy Prough
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Re: Software

I'm waiting for them to put Ubuntu on it personally.

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Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Might as well buy a new device. I'm sure they've got their tendrils deep into your chips by now.

And a tinfoil hat wouldn't be a bad idea. Since they are probably tracking your brainwaves too.

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iPhone 6 shunned by fanbois in Apple's GREAT FAIL of CHINA

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Apparently you missed the big ruckus this past year with phone carriers complaining about their iPhone contracts due to the huge handset purchase requirements.

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Andy Prough
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Windows

Re: I am going to puke.....

I'm kinda diggin those Windows phones for my next mobe.

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Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

@jbelkin - "BTW, Apple has sold 20-MILLION iPhones in China so far in one week of ordering and one day in stores."

You counted them yourself, did you? I'm sure Cupertino has managed to channel-stuff millions upon millions. They are the grand masters at it...

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Andy Prough
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Trollface

Re: I am going to puke.....

Meh - it's not even hip anymore to be an Apple hater.

Used to be so cool to be an Apple hater, and wear baggy jeans, cargo shorts, no turtlenecks, no rounded glasses. To shave every once in awhile just 'because'...

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Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I am going to puke.....

Your sense of outrage at the iPhone religion is a bit late - by about 7 years.

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#Help. There's a STRANGER in my Twitter timeline

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

But isn't the entirety of www-land just rubbish anyway?

"But the terse folk of social media are furious that their constant stream of rubbish has been sullied with yet more rubbish."

But couldn't you say this about 90% of the www-net? Certainly reddit, youtube, slashdork, HuffPo, etc etc etc... All the news sites. It's all just rubbish. Rubbish and shopping. And the other 10% is probably just pR0n.

Anything really useful is probably happening on a mailing list like the kernel mailing list, or on a developer IRC channel, or simply through email from one intelligent individual to another.

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Torvalds CONFESSES: 'I'm pretty good at alienating devs'

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: If the tone is wrong the content is lost

@Voland - "There is a fundamental problem in a volunteer project. If someone's contribution is crap and is not improving how to tell them to go away."

So you are saying Alan Cox was a crap coder, and Linus cussed him to try to get him to take his crap code and go away?

Poettering - whether you like systemd or not - clearly knows how to code.

Your idea sounds all well and good, but when you apply it to the actual situations that occurred, the logic falls apart.

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iPad AIR 2 and iPad MINI 3, 5K iMac: World feels different today – and it IS

Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: the Atom in this one is plenty zippy for web browsing and office documents

This thing is also - full Windows 8.1. It has MS Office full version pre-loaded. I'm running all the normal programs - VLC player, regular Chrome, Adobe Acrobat Pro. No games of course - I'm sure it would run some simple games, but it's more like a netbook in that regard.

With this 10 inch size, you can really see where the Metro apps work - the full screen IE is definitely the best tablet browser. I've heard other people say that, but using it on this thing it's extremely clear to see. Basically they've built it so that all the controls are within easy reach of one thumb or the other - very smart. And all those side swipes and "charms" menus and the split keyboard really make sense when you are using your thumbs for everything.

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Andy Prough
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Re: Learn something please, Microsoft

Oh I see - I hadn't kept up with the Surface Pro specs - used to be 10 inch I thought. My bad. This is still a cool little tablet to get for trading in a dead Kindle.

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Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Learn something please, Microsoft

Screen size is the same (10 inches), it has a mini-USB port which I got a $5 cable on Amazon to run full USB devices, it has a display port, and I wouldn't use the pen anyway. The i5 processor would be nice, but the Atom in this one is plenty zippy for web browsing and office documents. If the only real difference is the processor and some RAM, then it's hard to see why the Surface Pro is an extra $500 bucks.

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Andy Prough
Silver badge
Holmes

Learn something please, Microsoft

I'm still unclear on why MS can't start it's Surface Pro's at less than 800 bucks apiece - $399 is clearly the starting point of interest for any tablet-centric devices.

I had a Kindle under warranty with BestBuy that had a dead battery. Took it in last week and they didn't have any new Kindles at the same price to trade out with me, so they gave me a Toshiba Encore Windows tablet that was listed at the same price - $269. Sweet little device, think I'll get a lot of use out of it. I don't really see what it's missing from the basic level Surface Pro, other than a little RAM. But it's still plenty zippy.

Learn something MS. Even Apple, the king of overpricing, knows that you can't start any kind of tablet device at an $800 price point.

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Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20

Andy Prough
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Re: Cello and Winsock

Lynx on a 2400 bit/s modem was my introduction to the webernet -- faster than today's broadband in 1994. Just goes to show you how much energy we waste moving bits of pictures and videos and audio around the net.

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Apple's iPhone bonk to 'Pay' app launches on Monday

Andy Prough
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Holmes

Yup.

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