90 posts • joined 18 Jun 2011
I've patented a medical device that continually repairs human cells. When it's finally created by some university, I will become rich by suing the hell out of them.
USPTO, I love you.
I used to think it was impossible to be this absolutely duh, but when a friend recently told me how his boss asked him how you handed people stuff (just a regular item) and he showed him how, his boss got upset and called him a smartass.
Bitcoin profiting step-by-step!
1 - Create a BC "bank" (Make sure to use lots of buzzwords on the site!)
2 - Entice people to dump tons of BC in said bank (Hey, those were some good buzzwords.)
3 - Mysterious hackers steal all the BC (Oops! Our bad, but not our responsibility, RTFM)
4 - Profit! (When you cash out the BC that was "stolen")
Seems like a regular bank to me.
Well, when you are dealing with illegal goods and services, the price is usually higher...
"During that case Apple’s lawyers maintained that although the two products are designed to perform similar tasks they employ different underlying technology. "
Wait, Apple is using a defense that it is usually litigating AGAINST???
Score one for legal irony.
"Because the liquid metal alloy material is safe for humans..."
They mean until it is hardened and then shoved through said humans sternum, right?
So, have they issued a fatwa on Chipotle?
Wait, if you only read the first paragraph, how do you know it's 90% diatribe?
Don't worry Dabbsy, we got your back on this one.
I think the term is spouse, not lover.
Unless you also refer to Samantha Cameron as David Cameron's lover, then it's alright.
HP TX1000 series.
Who reviews these patents? Helen Keller?
Bejeweled and Bust-a-Move are so awesome, I wish someone would completely rip them off, put a veneer of new graphics on them, tweak the random number generator towards constant failure, and then sucker people into buying microtransactions.
If only there was some company that could do that...
Re: The loss of efficiency for hydrogen is huge
Yes, putting in outlets is so difficult to do...
Wait, what's this???
Whining and complaining about something that "can't" be done while it is already being done on a large scale is quite asinine.
Re: Oooo, the shiny!
I just priced it, with everything the same except for twice the memory (system and graphics) and a 240GB ssd instead of 256, the price was $2980. Notice, this was retail, so about 20% marked up from what I could get it from tech data or ma labs.
Apple Tax; Check.
Try actually checking instead of ingesting and regurgitating the electronic excrement that frequently spews from macrumors.
Re: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!
I'm always confused by these outlaw articles. Too much jumping around, tangents, and just poor writing.
How do you say "All your bitcoins are belong to us" in Chinese?
And what will happen when these robots decide that the walking, bacteria-laden flesh-bags need to be cleaned up?
Check out the "speed test" video on their Kickstarter. The people are working on the same picture, but the guy on the left actually does several more things to it than the guy on the right.
Fake comparison; fake product?
"...more interest in short-term relationships..."
This is a polite way of saying they want to play slap and tickle with the men-folk.
I have a patent for opening vehicle doors with the intent to get in them and be taken to locations that sell electronic items.
I'm seeking $500 billion in damages.
I will not have my innovation stifled!!!
Timecube made more sense than this...
Re: How is this an invention?
Sweet! That means I already have two patents, just this morning!!!
"...ZIP codes, which are not needed to process transactions..."
A lot of places now require the billing address ZIP as an additional layer of security. Have to enter it every time, at every gas (petrol) station I go to.
"This was after it found that he had "fraudulently" banked $400k in compensation from firms that traded with Systemax between 2006 and 2010. The federal agency also alleged that he had stolen $200k worth of company merchandise. He was forced to pay a $65k penalty."
So, he stole/scammed $600k and only had to pay back $65k with absolutely no jail time?
WOW! It pays to be a white-collar criminal!
I wonder how much I could get for all these staplers....
$83 in cash? Is there supposed to be a million in there, or are they giving them cab fare?
This is not Maxis.
This is EA after killing Maxis, cutting it's face off, and finally wearing said face while dancing to "Goodbye Horses"
"Would you play me??? I'd play me.... I'd play me Hard...."
"...calling for Skype to stop allowing the NSA to access its back end..."
I'd also be upset if someone was accessing my back end.
Let us all bow our heads and pray...
Please, O Lord of Aesthetically Prodigious people, do not allow those of your chosen to be hired by the Los Alamos National Laboratory or the RCMP. Woe betide us, the Uglies, if that shall ever happen. This to you, O Lord, we pray.
Re: Downward share price
What does plugging up lesbians have to do with this? It has something to do with those Norkie unicorns, doesn't it?
Remember, all those fart apps were made by registered developers...
"...failing to introduce yet more exciting new technology into the marketplace."
"...failing to introduce yet more exciting newly bedazzled technology into the marketplace."
Phones have changed in the past ten years. This is not a new idea. Technology changes its shape and form because people demand new things, and their taste change. Samsung's phone changing from 2006-2010 is nothing special. If phones didn't change, we'd all be carrying around 15# bags with a corded wireless phone in it.
So...Apple wants Samsung to stop making phones that the public wants because they are what the public wants?
I'm just waiting for an Apple lawyer to stand up in court and say, 'It's always about Samsung! Samsung, Samsung, Samsung!!' then twirl their hair and run out of the court.
Re: really.... long before... yet couldn't introduce it till after the iPhone?
And IBM invented the tablet computer form factor back in the sixties.
Re: Judge Koh is harming Calfornia - time for her to be replaced
The F700 says "Samsung" on it. How do you confuse that? Oh, are they standing up for blind people who got "duped" into buying a Samsung phone?
Has anyone SEEN this "design" patent? It's for a thin, rectangular computer with a touch screen, one connector, and one button/hole on the top. This is so absolutely generic and common sense as to be laughable. Kellogg needs to try and patent a cardboard box with flaps and food stored inside and then sue everyone.
From what I see...
The Samsung has a back camera. Not mentioned in the "design" patent.
No size was mentioned in the patent.
Three buttons and two slots on the Samsung, not to mention the speaker grille, light sensors and front camera.
No colours were specified.
And the Samsung has writing on it that strangely enough, DOESN'T say Apple...
Apple is deathly afraid of losing market share and those HUGH profit margins from all the slave labour they outsource to Foxconn. They haven't done anything original since the first iMac. They simply take an existing product, go and bedazzle it a bit, then tell everyone they invented it and they have to buy it or be laughed at for being "uncool" at Starbucks.
I'll take two of the chihuahuas. They are still under five months old, right? They get so damned chewy when they age beyond five months...
You can't see the aurora during the summer up north...
Blah, where are the fact checkers?
"Shabet says she lives in America and has no intention of exporting the device."
She was attempting to purchase the product to gift to a cousin in Iran. You cannot export to Iran!!! This isn't a simple anti-Arab thing, it's a FEDERAL LAW.
Welcome to America. Cry and whine when you attempt to violate federal law and everyone will feel sorry for you.
The top three programmers have percentages of 50/45/30%. I can get a thousand pennies and start throwing them into a crowd. Eventually, I'll hit someone in the eye. Looks like the best one (in the top 20) is actually #15 from russia with a percentage of 76%.
Re: 112 is nothing? Bloody right - thou 'rt right soft bast'd
Well, why do you think they still use old-ass, slow chips in the space probes? They tolerate a whole lot more crap. Same thing at Apple. If I scream and yell and tell you how much you want what I have behind my back, you're gonna want it.
"Can I have three farthings for a lump of shit, please?"
Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly
"well look at betamax, jaguar, dreamcast and HD-DVD, they are dead. VHS, GameBoy, Playstation and Blue-ray won."
So, you are saying that Apple will win the tablet war, and based on previous experience, the inferior formats win?
Okay, thanks for that clarification.
7.6 million sheep, interesting.
Actually, it's probably 2.533 million sheep as they bought three iPads (Not the kind women use, but close) to cover if they lose it, and to brainwash their child 24/7.
The Poon Research Group?? Are you serious? Totally not the research I a group named that would be undertaking...
And Dr. Poon?? OMFG. Yea, this has to be April 1st come early.
Re: RE: Jim Booth
It was a DV4/6, possibly a late model DV6000. The thing would have died in a few months anyways from the NB desoldering itself from the MB. Anyways, no worries about shrapnel, the plastics on those models are pretty soft and there was WAY too much down force for anything to blast back up.
I truly hope the "Little American Princess" has learned her lesson and stopped following the ways of the dark Ladies (Paris, Kim, etc...).
She should thank God everyday that he didn't pop one of those rounds into her ass.
Shouldn't it be "doing fab-ulously"???
I just patented sitting down to take a crap.
Pay up, peasants!!!!
Kodak should sue Apple for having a company name with five letters that makes devices that record images. Open and shut case to me.
Re: Re: Re: Borrowing from another commentard on the other Sony story of today...
How about "Suck shit through a tube."?
Always loved that one... Feds was an awesome movie.
Okay, let's put it this way;
Starting price to read an article on El Reg is $1.
Ten people read it; goes up to $2.
Twenty? Well, that's $4.
Supply and demand, right?
Except in this case, we're talking about something that is UNLIMITED.
If I had an unlimited supply of gold that I pulled out of a manx cats tailless ass, what do you think would happen to the price of gold?
Sony just trying to make money off of some chick that had her heyday more than a decade ago and then lost her voice (Crack smoking; thank you Bobby) and sounded like an alley cat that got run over by some RoTM Renault.
They gots to be making bank, yo!
75-90% of people saw the price hike, and just did a google search for "Whitney Houston +site:www.thepiratebay.org"
The main reason for this change is because the large majority of the "new" drives coming out in the next six months will be of questionable quality. Because they don't know how long these drives (Derived from salvaged equipment) will last, they are hedging their bets. The warranty will be restored in about a year.
A 50% increase in efficiency is like getting .5 more ounces of a 12oz steak. Not much, and it'll probably have a lot of fat on it.