* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

452 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: It's not the ads per se, it's the trackers

Adguard

Thanks for that. Have a doughnut.

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The law is an ass: Mooning banned at arse end of the world

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Winning the race

The convicts are dying out

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Dutch bicycle company pretends to be television company

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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To young ladies interested in cycling

Are you considered bike curious?

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TV industry gets its own 'dieselgate' over 'leccy consumption tests

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Stop it... just stop it!!!!

Stopitgate, anyone

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WTF ... makes mobile phone batteries explode?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: In the phablet, the silent phablet, the LiOn sleeps tonight

Bastard

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What says Internet of Things better than a Bluetooth-controlled smart candle?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Pint

Re: Sounds good to me

Pure gold. Have an upvote. Hell, have a beer as well.

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MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Collimated Radiation of Agressive Photons

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Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Roboats?

And for security:

Rowlocks

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VW Dieselgate engineer sings like a canary: Entire design team was in on it – not just a few bad apples, allegedly

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Not true

@ LOL123 - Did they say HOW their cars met the standards?

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Self-stocking internet fridge faces a delivery come down

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Pint

Kwality

"Maybe it’s just me but I don’t reserve specific locations in my fridge for specific quantities of specific items of specific shape like I was some obsessive fucking psychopath"

Sir. Do have an upvote

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Paint your wagon (with electric circuits) but leave my crotch alone

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Wankle, anyone?

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SETI Institute damps down 'wow!' signal report from Russia

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Paging Mr. Niven...

They use phewer letters for some words

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I fart in your general direction! Comet 67P lets rip on Europe's Rosetta probe

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Was that cloud....

Philaes' Fogg

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WikiLeaks uploads 300+ pieces of malware among email dumps

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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I before E except after C

unless E has got all his mates with him

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Verizon fingered in Android bloatware-for-cash cram scandal

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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So, let me get this straight

There are app developers "out there", whose products are so shite that they can't be sold. So much so, in fact, that the sellers must resort to paying for them to be pre-installed on new phones, rather than simply being marketed on their actual merit.

If I want an app that - say - tells me where my washing machine is, between feeding ads, I'll go search for one, thanks. Until then, FRO.

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India launches hypersonic space shuttle precursor

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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formerly

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@ Fink-Nottle

No it sodding isn't, unless you get a kick from drinking piss

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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And this kind of article and the resulting comments, dear friends

Is one of the reasons I love The Register.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Philistine

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: dear god what are we teaching the kids?

Hot tea in a heatproof glass! In the West Indies that is referred to as . . . . . .

Wait for it. . . . . . .

Pyrex of the Carribbean

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Warm the pot!

Cups or mugs do not make proper tea without enough deposit to warrant wire brushing.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Ruibos

tastes like tea already drunk by someone.

At least twice.

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Windows 10 Pro Anniversary Update tweaked to stop you disabling app promos

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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it enables

"personalized recommendations from Microsoft and notifications about their Microsoft account."

Well Microsoft. How about if my profile includes a deep and profound revulsion at scumbag marketing of the lowest gutter order level?

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Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: El Eg

Which came first; El chicken or El Egg

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8K video gives virtual reality the full picture for mainstream use

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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We have the platform - great

Now all we need is content worth watching

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Microsoft offers admins free Win 10 upgrade lube

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Feel the burn...

The precious. It burns us, it burns us.

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Yahoo! She said yes. Verizon confirms $4.8bn acquisition

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: @Marissa

Well, I didn't have a curry tonight so the small change thing is just academic now. I can do you a fresh 6" turd more or less any time you like, Marissa. Are we good - to - go?

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: @Marissa

I see a downvoter! Do you think I have maybe offered too much?

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@Marissa

When it all goes titsup, my offer for Yahoo! still stands: One steaming 6 inch turd*.

* Actually, you might have to wait a day or two. It rather depends on what I have had to eat the night before, unless you accept "loose change"

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Ad blockers responsible for rise in upfront TV ad sales, claims report

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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I was thinking

more like bullshite

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@John Bailey

We ARE dealing with marketing execs here, remember; Collective IQ a little higher than pond life.

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Missile bods MBDA win Brit military laser cannon contract

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Marmite

That's all

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Tupperware vehemently denies any link to storage containerisation

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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The Streisand effect

is alive and well and conveniently stored in a Tupperware* box near you.

* other storage containers are available

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Alleged Aussie plum plucker pleads guilty to motel tissue swipe

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Playmobil!

Or it didn't happen!

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IBM scraps loyal staffer gifts in favour of... a congratulatory social page

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Don't prat about.

Just gimme a bucket (large or [probably] small) of dosh.

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Wannabe Prime Minister Andrea Leadsom thinks all websites should be rated – just like movies

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Regression to the really mean

the socialists would be OK only until they run out of other people's money

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Tesco Mobile does what? Hahahahahahaha. Sorry customers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: It's time......

Too pricey and credit expires. Try 3

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This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: @ Timbo

But still needs a bit of wire between the wireless receiver and amplifier thingy in the remote box and the speaker in that box.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: When I were a lad...

Write on

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Swagger staggered as hacker drops dapper code execution cracker

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Leveraging?

Twat

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Apple pollutes data about you to protect your privacy. But it might not be enough

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: I'm mostly pessimistic

Thank the blabbermouths posting their minutiae doings on Faecebook and Twatter, Washup and the like

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@Dave 126

"Also, Google have not suffered any massive security breaches"

Yet

TFTFY

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Users fear yet another hack as TalkTalk services go down

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Newsflash

No: ShiteShite

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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So. WankWank's site is down

"For maintenance"

Maybe someone went in with a remote session........................

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BOFH: Follow the paper trail

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Why wait for a work mandated course ?

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Lester Haines: RIP

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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No one is really dead whilst they are still being talked about

And we'll be talking about Mr Haines for a good while yet.

The power of Marmite to you!

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Fresh hell for TalkTalk customers: TeamView trap unleashed

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: My favorite

They don't have mothers.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Just noticed WankWank's site is down

"For maintenance"

Maybe someone went in with a remote session........................

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Do you have a 'co-working mindset' and 'ephemerally involve others' in work?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Ah yes

Its a near-perfect gag. Yes it is. All it needs is something funny at the end.

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Smartwatches: I hate to say ‘I told you so’. But I told you so.

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

@Pascal - In the same breath: "Wow" but tempered with "Looks like something wound by wanking"

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