* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

477 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

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China is building a full scale replica of the Titanic to repeatedly crash into iceberg

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: They should rename it

Nah. Iceberg was closer to America so shojld be called summat like "Dumb Trump Lump Boat Bump"

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Newest Royal Navy warship weighs as much as 120 London buses

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: "a number of modifications to bring them up to British standards"

Dear Sir

Thank you for the Marmite mention.

Yours

TI ot ML

Armed with the destructive power of a brown squirt

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BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Happy Friday

nearly beer o'clock

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Hospital info thief malware puts itself into a coma to avoid IT bods

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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for leveraging the malware

WTF is wrong with "using"?

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Hackers electrocute selves in quest to turn secure doors inside out

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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"Others interested in the field could leverage their work,"

Bloody management twatspeak again. What's wrong with "USE"?

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Remember, everyone

Christmas is coming. Lots of new users of shiny boxes and no clue at all.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@LDS

Maybe they need the instructions printing on BOTH SIDES

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Facebook 'fesses up to fudged ad metrics … again

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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You can't believe what you see on Faecebook?

Who'd a thunk it?

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How to avoid DDoSing yourself

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: I think the technical term is

You've met the wife's mother, then?

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Brexit judgment could be hit for six by those crazy Supreme Court judges, says barrister

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Media and entertainment

Rumpole

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Laser surgery ignites internal methane, burns patient down there

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Back to work

Enough of this fannying about

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First World Problems: John Lewis clients forced to re-register after website 'upgrade'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Facepalm

BBC just did the same to me

Just got an email from Auntie, which sez:

"Hello,

We've made a few improvements to your BBC account so we've had to sign you out.

We’re all done now though, so please sign back in to get the best out of your BBC"

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Vodafone and Inmarsat hang satellites over potential Internet of Things customers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@ Martin Summers

Does that need much RAM, then?

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Au contraire

The big cheeses have the cream of their engineering staff working on it, going through each design step very Caerphilly indeed.

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Who killed Cyanogen?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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"try to leverage its market power"

WTF is wrong with "use"?

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BT Yahoo! customers: Why! can't! we! grrr! delete! our! webmail! accounts!?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: BT service is shit & now corrupt.

What? Has it improved THAT much?

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My Nest smoke alarm was great … right up to the point it went nuts

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: @ Andrew Jones 2

He should've thought of that.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: 'Smart' is only used ironically.

Gimme TAS™* anytime

*Thick As Shit

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After baffling Falcon 9 rocket explosion, SpaceX screams: Hands off our probe!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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If these "unfortunate events" keep on happening, who do we blame for the series?

Lemony Snickets?

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Fight fire with fire

Bastard! I was on my way to bed when I read that. I am now HUNGRY!

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Brit ISP TalkTalk scraps line rental charges

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Interesting timing ...

Don't do it.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Bullshitting "customer" manager

Don't debase Fucking marketing Liars by comparing them to TalkTalk

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Brit loan firm gets comeuppance for 7.7 million spam texts

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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with no battery

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USB-C is now wired for sound, just like Sir Cliff Richard

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: USB audio and Lightning audio is digital ONLY, not analog!

Just wait for the numbskull sales assistant in Currys: "Oh you gotta have the GOLD data lead. It makes the sound SOOOO much cleaner"

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: To the USB implementers forum, I say...

Does this mean sales of 3.5,, devices will now................................

........................

wait for it....................

.......................

.................Fall off a Cliff?

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Thumb Up

Re: It's not the ads per se, it's the trackers

Adguard

Thanks for that. Have a doughnut.

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The law is an ass: Mooning banned at arse end of the world

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Winning the race

The convicts are dying out

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Dutch bicycle company pretends to be television company

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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To young ladies interested in cycling

Are you considered bike curious?

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TV industry gets its own 'dieselgate' over 'leccy consumption tests

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Stop it... just stop it!!!!

Stopitgate, anyone

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WTF ... makes mobile phone batteries explode?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: In the phablet, the silent phablet, the LiOn sleeps tonight

Bastard

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What says Internet of Things better than a Bluetooth-controlled smart candle?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Pint

Re: Sounds good to me

Pure gold. Have an upvote. Hell, have a beer as well.

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MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Collimated Radiation of Agressive Photons

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Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Roboats?

And for security:

Rowlocks

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VW Dieselgate engineer sings like a canary: Entire design team was in on it – not just a few bad apples, allegedly

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Not true

@ LOL123 - Did they say HOW their cars met the standards?

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Self-stocking internet fridge faces a delivery come down

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Pint

Kwality

"Maybe it’s just me but I don’t reserve specific locations in my fridge for specific quantities of specific items of specific shape like I was some obsessive fucking psychopath"

Sir. Do have an upvote

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Paint your wagon (with electric circuits) but leave my crotch alone

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Wankle, anyone?

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SETI Institute damps down 'wow!' signal report from Russia

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Paging Mr. Niven...

They use phewer letters for some words

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I fart in your general direction! Comet 67P lets rip on Europe's Rosetta probe

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Was that cloud....

Philaes' Fogg

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WikiLeaks uploads 300+ pieces of malware among email dumps

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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I before E except after C

unless E has got all his mates with him

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Verizon fingered in Android bloatware-for-cash cram scandal

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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So, let me get this straight

There are app developers "out there", whose products are so shite that they can't be sold. So much so, in fact, that the sellers must resort to paying for them to be pre-installed on new phones, rather than simply being marketed on their actual merit.

If I want an app that - say - tells me where my washing machine is, between feeding ads, I'll go search for one, thanks. Until then, FRO.

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India launches hypersonic space shuttle precursor

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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formerly

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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@ Fink-Nottle

No it sodding isn't, unless you get a kick from drinking piss

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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And this kind of article and the resulting comments, dear friends

Is one of the reasons I love The Register.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Philistine

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: dear god what are we teaching the kids?

Hot tea in a heatproof glass! In the West Indies that is referred to as . . . . . .

Wait for it. . . . . . .

Pyrex of the Carribbean

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: Warm the pot!

Cups or mugs do not make proper tea without enough deposit to warrant wire brushing.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Ruibos

tastes like tea already drunk by someone.

At least twice.

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Windows 10 Pro Anniversary Update tweaked to stop you disabling app promos

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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it enables

"personalized recommendations from Microsoft and notifications about their Microsoft account."

Well Microsoft. How about if my profile includes a deep and profound revulsion at scumbag marketing of the lowest gutter order level?

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Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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Re: El Eg

Which came first; El chicken or El Egg

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8K video gives virtual reality the full picture for mainstream use

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
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We have the platform - great

Now all we need is content worth watching

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