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* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

210 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

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OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Well...

And how are you off for cattleprod batteries and sacks of quicklime?

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Want a free Bosch steam iron? You'll have to TALK TO THE DEAD

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Well.....

Ouija believe it?

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Misco Shared Services Centre drone brands customer 'insane'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Bloody amateurs.

You want REAL incompetence - try TalkTalk.

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Reg LOHAN spaceplane: Punch and Judy show in comedy non-explosive climax

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
Mushroom

Breast of duck next time

This post contains letters

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Tornado-chasing stealth Batmobile set to invade killer vortices

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Bloody Merican mutilation of English

Its "tyres" not "tires"

Tyres is wot goes on wheels.

Tires is the effect writing from a yank has on me.

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German freemail firms defend AdBlock-nobbling campaign

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: /sigh

you mean.... like... being honest? from an advertiser?

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Japanese boffins build 'earring PC' for hands-free computing

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Wot, no pix

+1 - But only if it's PLAYMOBIL!!!!!!!

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Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Military?

So, a bit like a train then?

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NASA probe orbiting Moon sights ANOTHER SPACECRAFT

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Playmobil

Or it never happened

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Do you wear specs? Google Glass offers YOU amazing live HD video

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Sausage break?

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China's Jade Rabbit moon rover might have DIED in the NIGHT after 'abnormality'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Well.....

KAFRIGGINGBLOODYBOOM!

There.

Better?

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HP sticks thumb in Microsoft's eye, extends Windows 7 option for new machines

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

I'll wait for Windows 9

Or will it be Windows Nein?

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Survey: Yoof too COOL for Ferraris, want state-sponsored hybrids

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Didn't Some one say....

I got a 32G USB stick hooked into me Passat that I can control perfectly well via the steering wheel mounted knobs and buttons, including skipping around folders and songs, etc. You don't need an iThingy.

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Intel ditches McAfee brand: 'THANK GOD' shouts McAfee the man

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: They all have different personalities

I now have a very odd urge to wash my keyboard

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'BILLION-YEAR DISK' to help FUTURE LIFEFORMS study us

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Surely there's only one acronym fo rthis?

Silicon

Nitride

On

Tungsten

I'll get my long lived coat.

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: 2000?

Be cheaper for MS to shell out on 2000 iPads and give them to the punters.

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Facebook to BLAST the web with AUTO-PLAYING VIDEO ads

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: But they can't be switched off, either.

Root the phone and rip it out.

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser

You don't "Use" Faecebook

You are the commodity. Advertisers are the ones 'using' Faecebook

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Thank you Facebook

Yes. Easy to avoid. Close Faecebook account and don't bother going there again - like most sane people.

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Inside IBM's vomit-inducing, noise-free future chip lab

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: What are you doing tonight Emanuel Loertscher?

PARDON?

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DON'T PANIC: No FM Death Date next month, minister confirms

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

If DAB is the answer

It must have been a fucking stupid question

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Think unpatched Win XP hole's not a big deal? Hope you trust your local users

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Quote "XP is like 13 years old. Get with the 21st Century."

However, unlike Wrongdows 8.x, a modern car isn't sold with the steering wheel on the roof or the gearshift in the trunk, requiring a trip to the custom workshop to get it sorted.

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BBC's 3D blunder BLASTED OUR BRAINS – Doctor Who fans

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: I've never understood the need for on-screen logos

1) doesn't compute: A watermark/ID could be buried unobtrusively in the datastream or in the image. it doesn't have to be distracting.

2) TV execs can READ?

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Build your own WORKING Sonic Screwdriver... for a UNDER A FIVER

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

But, but, but

Does it:

a) Actually unscrew things?

b) Blow the living shit out of (in)convenient bits of scenery?

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Oooh! My NAUGHTY SKIRT keeps riding up! Hello, INTERNET EXPLORER

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Well it's a case of

Bing goes for Bimbo

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Google RIPS aside curtain, exposes Nexus 5 phone, KitKat Android 4.4 coupling

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Went and ordered one

Absofrikkin'lutely

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Capita splashes £57.5m on Eye-of-Sauron car-park watchdog biz

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

To crapita:

You may think you have discovered a gold mine

Beware of the shaft

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Get your mitts greasy with FREE hands-on Windows Azure training

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Me too, me too

Me too, me too

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Microsoft investors push for Bill Gates defenestration: report

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Wonder just how big his payoff will be

640k should be enough for anybody

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Rare gold iPhone 5s goes up against 50 caliber high precision rifle

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: But does it blend?

Shoudnt that be iSplode?

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Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: If I was making a press release like this

Nah. I'd have released it on May 3rd. Then I could sign off with "May the fourth be with you"

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Google's boffins branded 'unacceptably ineffective' at tackling web piracy

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Ask one back

Messrs Kruger & Dunning will bear you out.

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Microsoft: Surface is DEAD. Long live the Surface 2!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Actually, unlike your comment, it's not a knee jerk reaction; it's a conisdered opinion after giving Win8 something of a try.

I do not like it at all. Possibly with Classic Shell but, there again, why should I tonk around making it usable? I didn't have to run around customising my new car whan I bought it, just to make it possible to drive, so why should I be expected to do that with what is suposed to be a finished and polished OS?

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Lets see: Windows 8. No thanks. Definitely no, thanks. No, no, no, no.

Price: no thanks

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Launchpads, catapults... what a load of - WAIT, there's £15m for grabs?

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Wellingtons needed

Knee deep in bullshit

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Had Beaver Tail in Canada, once.

Bought it from a street stall. Jolly nice too, it was.

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BBC releases MYSTERY RIDDLE poster for Doctor Who anniversary episode

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Only one 'merican SciFi programme was anywhere near good

and that was Third Rock - and I bet even that had some sizeable input from a brit or two

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Windows 8.1: Microsoft's reluctant upgrade has a split-screen personality

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

You can't polish a turd

Only roll it in glitter

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Dyson takes Samsung to court in UK over vacuum cleaner

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Bah!

"Re: Bah!

I did want to try to fix the switch but it was a tricky slide arrangement with some sort of chip or transistor block or chip incorporated - outside my skills and the repair shop quoted more than I could stomach. Fortunately I was offered a second hand Dyson upright for a ridiculously cheap sum."

You do realise that Dyson do fixed price servicing including parts? Had our DC07 almost rebuilt a few years back: New motor, beater bar clutch, belt, cyclone, post motor filter, etc., for about sixty quid.

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Ballmer's emotional farewell to Redmond: I LOVE THIS COMPANY

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Yes, and Pot

A Crack Pot

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Google Glass is HIGH FASHION in September Vogue magazine

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

If it wasn't stone dead before

It sure is now.

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Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of users

Facebook reassures adland: We've got s**tloads of Lusers

There: Fixed it for them

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This weekend: Watch HOT STARS shower! Moon won't interfere

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

You can bet your sweet biddy

It will be PI55ING down

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Posh potty owners flushed by dodgy Bluetooth password

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: The My Satis application

Shouldn't that be "Shitter and Faecebook posts"?

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So, who here LURVES Windows Phone? Put your hands up, Brits

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Quick and dirty survey created

Results here:

http://tolu.na/18MjZ9e

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Davros liable to criticism for huge STRAW DALEK he never built

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

PLAYMOBIL!

Or it never happened

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Inventor of the Marmite Laser

IN Dalek Farm, how can you tell the Dalek artificial inseminator?

He's the one shouting "Eggs-sperminate!"

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STEVE BALLMER KILLS WINDOWS

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Ballmer kills Windows?

It did. Balmer is now just stamping on the bits

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Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Now, Faecial recognition is another thing entirely.

Can I contribute?

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