* Posts by Inventor of the Marmite Laser

322 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Page:

Be quick or be silent: Social media as a business tool

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Speaking of brickbats

That IS the Special Level of Hell: Facebook and nothing else

3
0

Windows 10: Buy cheap, buy twice, right? Buy FREE ... buy FOREVER

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

WIll the next iteration

Be Windows Free point One?

1
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Nah

Get enough punters on there, take away any route back to the previous OS they bought and then hit 'em that it has become a subscription package.

If you think you have discovered a gold mine, just be careful of the shaft.

1
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Kudos for the 1970's music reference

What've you got against your grandbrat? Ours quite likes Nanny & Grandpa's music (Mostly Classic FM)

1
0

Florida cops cuff open-carry, balls-out pirate packing 'operational' flintlocks

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!

Just because

4
0

Microsoft in Blighty reveals its 78 THOUSAND POUND Surface 3 slabloid

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

77p

My final offer

4
0

Zionists stole my SHOE, claims Muslim campaigner

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Looks like

Evil deeds are afoot

14
0

Using leather in 'leccy cars is 'unTesla', rages vegan shareholder

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Would she

Take quinine to kill Malaria parasites? Nice little sentientywenty things. How about a sweet little rat infestation in her basement? Ask them nicely to leave?

6
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Recycling

Footage: No, it's a MOOOOOVIE

11
0

Life in plastic, it's fantastic: Playmobil supremo dies at 81

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Playmobil

Or it didn't happen

5
0

Power your temperature sensor with this BONKERS router hack

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

There's always

RADIO ONE!

Its has to be good for SOMETHING. thais may be it

1
0

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

No humans on tills

Then no sale. I normally dump my stuff and walk out.

5
0

LG G4: Be careful while fingering this leather-clad smartie pants

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

The leather cow-hide clad one

Does it play moovies and moosic?

3
0

Stranded Brussels airport passengers told to check Facebook

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Arrrrrgh! Zuck has bought the rights to Belgium?

OK, looks like we have the founding members of the "I Don't Give a Rats Arse About Faecebook or Twatter" club.

1
0

Blocking mobile adverts just became that little bit easier

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
Pint

Re: "toxic wastelands such as Facebook"

Liked that

2
0

Ricoh rolls out electrifyingly exciting RUBBER!

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

sparks will fly

with the Dildo Dynamo(tm) and the Arsehole Alternator(tm)

Actually, "Arsehole Alternator" sounds exactly like someone I worked for a while back.

7
0

Starbucks denies mobile app hack, blames careless customers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

You could always use - ahem

Cash

5
0

Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Never seen a cow with automatic brakes. Dunno how that would work.

1
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Speed limit reduction

Obviously a graduate from the BOFH school of how to deal with Volvo salesmen

2
0

SOD TABLETS, if you want to get anything done travelling get a ... yes, a LAPTOP

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Oh come on

Seriously, I thought everyone realised tablets were shiny toys for the burbles who liked to feel important and oh so digitized, whilst the rest of us get on doing work. A laptop is just about OK, I suppose, if you are a road warior but for getting real work done nothing, but nothing beats at least 2 decent monitors and either a desktop dock or simply a desktop computer. The only decent use I have ever seen for an iPad is as a glorified remote control for the burbles video conferencing suite. And they can keep that.

4
8

Building the world's biggest telescope array - with machines that don't yet exist

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Lets give the project three cheers

Array!

Array!

Array!

13
0

Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

All that fannying about

Its obviously the work of a Consultant in the Use of New Technology

11
0

Google pulls plug on YouTube for older iPads, iPhones, smart TVs

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Y'know what?

I just found my old library ticket. Been buried in books ever since. Its great. Anyone want an old TV (Without poo tube)?

0
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Quite happy wth my TAS* TV

*TAS = Thick As Shit

18
0

Ex-cop: Holborn fireball comms outage cover for £200m bling heist gang

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Transatlantic twonk

@ gazthejourno: In some ways that's even worse

1
0

ISIS: You bomb us, we’ll interrupt your TV transmissions

Inventor of the Marmite Laser
Pint

Re: Use the lips, trotters and arseholes....

Have a pint o fthe very best on me sir!

0
0

Sony to PlayStation 4 gamer: 'You got hacked, not our fault. Now give us £50'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

You caught a rootkit?

Your fault, not $ony's

3
1

Big Blue to give car insurers IoT peeking powers

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

IoT

Like Web 2.0 rhea, but worse.

2
0

Hey, Microsoft, we can call Windows 10 apps anything we like – you're NOT OUR REAL MOM

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

What do you call it when a marketing drone is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand

5
0

UK call centre linked to ‘millions’ of nuisance robo-calls raided by ICO

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Kickstarter project?

2
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Proper punishment

They don't have 'em

0
0

'If someone in Australia says lick my toad, it's not a euphemism'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Marmite?

Forget the toad. Lick my Marmite!

That could be a ephemism. It just depends on your stance about being 20 something, gorgeous and with a penchant for filthy old men.

2
0

Top smut site Flashes visitors, leaves behind nasty virus

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: "campaign leveraging the recent Adobe Flash zero day vulnerability "

Never claimed it was incorrect or in appropriate. Just pretentious.

Do keep up.

8
7
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: "campaign leveraging the recent Adobe Flash zero day vulnerability "

Being in the dictionary doesn't make it sound any less pretentious.

18
7
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

"campaign leveraging the recent Adobe Flash zero day vulnerability "

"leveraging"? Don't you mean "using"

I won't say "pretentious twat"

But I'll think it bloody loudly

19
8

BOT AN ABOMINATION: Mechanical DRONE VAMPIRE spreads wings

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Meh...

Details, schmetails

0
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Meh...

AND a frikkin' LASER!

0
0

SECRETS of the LOST SCROLLS unlocked by key to HEALTHY BOOBS

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Obligatory Frankie Howerd reference

"SECRETS of the LOST SCROLLS unlocked by BREAST SCAN tech" - Titter ye not!

0
0

Microsoft flings Office apps for Android slabs at world+dog

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

"a screen size between 7 and 10.1 inches "

Only because of the bloody ribbon toolbar!

6
2

Alien Earths are out there: Our home is not 'unique'

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: The final step

Lunatic idea

18
0

Boffins spy I in your little eye

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: CSI?

Yeah, just yell "Enhance!" at it

2
0

Marriott: The TRUTH about personal Wi-Fi hotel jam bid

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Ah, America. Land of the free

And home of the vested interest.

6
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Dear Marriot

What? Like Google?

2
3

Zuckerberg asks the public to tell him where to go in 2015

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Hate him.

What the hell have Syria or the Ukraine done to you for you to suggest that?

2
0
Inventor of the Marmite Laser

I was going to say "Shove his head up his arse and sneeze"

But I''ll have to say "bottom" instead.

2
0

NASA preps lobotomy for Opportunity rover to cure amnesia

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Necessary XKCD Reference

If I recall correctly, I believe that was Way Station, a 1963 science fiction novel by Clifford D. Simak, originally published as Here Gather the Stars

1
0

Microsoft says to expect AWESOME things of Windows 10 in January

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

I'd just be happy with not user hostile

And the ability to turn off stupid animations

No dumb kindergarten crayon level "friendly" graphics

And NO FUCKING METRO TILES

I could live without changing the default Explorer directory - I assume .lnk is still possible

11
3

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The fantastical Francesinha

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: Bib?

SNORKEL!

0
0

UK flights CRIPPLED by system outage that shut ALL London airspace

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

At least some stuff seems to be arriving/leadving Luton:

http://www.london-luton.co.uk/en/flights/

Interestingly NATS says:

NATS can confirm that a technical problem has been reported at Swanwick air traffic control centre.

UK airspace has not been closed, but airspace capacity has been restricted in order to manage the situation. We apologise for any delays and our incident response team has been mobilised.

Every possible action is being taken to assist in resolving the situation and to confirm the details.

Further information will be released as it becomes available.

0
0

Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Inventor of the Marmite Laser

Re: There are other ways

Yes. post it back. And, as a small token of the esteem in which you hold the sender, enclose some little keepsake. Like a rusty cylinder head. Or the veg peelings.

2
0

Page:

Forums