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* Posts by ukgnome

1399 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Thousands! of! Yahoo! Mail! users! driven! crazy! by! revamp!

ukgnome
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Trollface

But on the plus side

It's now easier to delete emails from the android app.

Seriously that's all that I do these days. Yahoo is the spamiest mail provider anywhere

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Printing the Future: See a few of UK’s 6.2 million 3D-printed ‘things’

ukgnome
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Yes, but is it art? Photo

I don't know about art, but those dildo's in the cabinet behind made me laugh.

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Apple ban win: Now you can't buy Samsung gear no one was buying

ukgnome
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audio-jack insertion and removal??????

You can patent that?

I'm filing a patent for bum wiping...I will make 7 billions in no time. Andrex, you will bow down to me.

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Oz government knew about PRISM BEFORE Snowden leaks

ukgnome
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Oh my golly gosh

I've just learned that bears defecate in the woods

AND

The the pope, leader of the catholic church is himself a catholic.

Soon you will be telling me that Julian Assange is weird

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Microsoft: Oh PLEASE, HTC. Who says Windows Phone can't go on an Android mobe? – report

ukgnome
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Trollface

Hmmm, I like iOS but I don't like Apple devices

I like Android, but wish it was on a nokia..

Windows on a mobile.....nope

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

ukgnome
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Ahhh the glow of modernity

I remember when you could have a fag on as you pottered around a filth strewn shop. How things have changed. Now we are in the clutches of modernity. But this shouldn't make us complacent, the drones that work there are bad enough. However......the automated tills of which you speak are just windows XP boxes running an ill-fitting touch screen. Although having said this, ED-209 was once a mini cooper....

What I am trying to say, is get used to the robot rebellion..

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BOFH: Welcome to Helldesk, ma'am, may I take your bags?

ukgnome
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When I got this job....

I was asked as part of the bullshit interview questions what I'd spend my cash on.

My reply was cake, although the interviewees also said that wild women, ale and porn is acceptable.

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Doctor Who to land on the BIG SCREEN and in 3D in November

ukgnome
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But....

Is it going to be shown on ISS? Or the secret moon base for that matter......

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Congrats on MP3ing your music... but WHY bother? Time for my ripping yarn

ukgnome
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@ Stevie, Roo and Bongojoe

Fellow audiophiles I salute you!

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ukgnome
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Wrong Again Mr Dabbs

The process is simple: want music, get music, put music in magic box, listen. Why mess about with that?

You try getting hold of Radio gnome by gong - oh damn, just googled and it appears quite easy....well it won't have weasel ripped my flesh my Zappa - oh for gods sake, it appears that you can get that too. Seems you can even buy Monolith by Amebix....

So why do I still have my massive LP collection of rare oddities.

Apologies Mr Dabbs.....seems you could be right (let the downvotes begin)

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Barmy Army to get Wi-Fi to the seat for cricket's Ashes

ukgnome
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Thumb Up

2 Things I love

Technology and Cricket

El Reg - I salute you, not many sites could combine both

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BOOGIE BALLMER: Steve Dirty Dances at tearful Microsoft leaving do

ukgnome
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They've turned off Balmer

Lets's hope they don't turn him on again

*in honour of the last IT crowd - Ch4 9pm

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Reg readers! You've got 100 MILLION QUID - what would you BLOW it on?

ukgnome
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Like most posters

http://www.firebox.com/product/4893/Project-Utopia

Tank full of sharks, fricken laser head mounts as standard

http://www.firebox.com/product/5440/World-rsquos-Most-Expensive-Vacuum-Cleaner

http://www.firebox.com/product/5435/Hoverwing-Flying-Hovercraft?via=related

http://www.firebox.com/product/4907/Electric-DeLorean-DMCEV?via=related

And a big fridge - any change to be stored as bullion

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MPs slam bumpkin fibre rollout, demand halt to further £250m cash spaff

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: @Roland6

I think you will find that it's is God that provides this free community service...

But as the chuch is next to the sub exchange it may also be BT

Obvs ------>

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ukgnome
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damn, I am about to defend BT....what has become of me?

I am moving house soon, into the countryside....Lucky me...

And I think it's awesome that they have fibre....I can still stream and chat and all that sort of stuff that modern living has. Safe in the knowledge that the dozen houses and a pub with building restrictions all around me can also enjoy this. Average speed as the exchange is shared by neighbouring villages is around 10MB...but if it becomes congested I can switch to the churches free 2MB wi-fi....

This is all made possible because BT asked some nice farmers if the could dig a small trench...

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Apple Maps directs drivers INTO path of ONCOMING PLANES

ukgnome
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Video Game Generation

This happens all the time on video games. Maybe we have been desensitised to normal road and traffic conditions. Just the other day I found myself jumping over pipes....etc etc

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EasyJet wanted to fling me off flight for diss tweet, warns cyber-law buff

ukgnome
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A bit of a non story

Plane delayed, person peeved.

They should try the train service provided by Greater Anglia.....

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Full Steam Ahead: Valve unwraps plans for gaming hardware

ukgnome
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Interest has been perked

I don't want to boot up old dusty to play games, and I don't what an xstation364 under my telly box either.

This looks very promising...

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Fan whips out own pair of iPhone 32Cs, 'unlocks' mobe using breasticle

ukgnome
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It seems that you can buy an iPhone, but you can't buy classy.

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There's ONE country that really likes the iPhone 5c as well as the 5s

ukgnome
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This isn't a surprise...the iPhone is cheaper in the USA

$658 USA price from amazon.com for an unlocked iPhone 5

$807 UK price from amazon.co.uk for an unlocked iPhone5

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E-book him! Entire Judge Dredd back catalogue gets iDevice treatment

ukgnome
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Hoojie Paloojie it's a beautiful day

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'Bogus IT guys' slurp £1.3m from Barclays: Cybercops cuff 8 blokes

ukgnome
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What I find hard to believe is that the USB ports were open. At the insurance firm that I provide IT support for this scam to harvest data wouldn't work. It's more locked down that a prison.

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Our sensational rocket ship Vulture 2 REVEALED: LIVE at 3pm

ukgnome
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Dammit stupid firewall - stupid corporate firewall

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WHY do phone cams turn me into a clumsy twat with dexterity of an elephant?

ukgnome
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Oh Dabbsy, I can call you Dabbsy can't I? Actually I don't care.

You are putting your head into the apple tree again aren't you. But lets remember, it's not just Apple that sucks at pictures, it's android too.

Just, it doesn't seem to be win-okia, they take lovely pictures. OK OK I'm trolling - I guess a phone with a camera is still a phone, and a camera with a phone is a camera. If you want to take pictures, then maybe get a camera.

Incidentally I like your photo's, but only because they are slightly worse that mine.

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Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

ukgnome
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The 5c is still a great phone

It's just fugly and too expensive.

But if I had the cash I would buy a green one.

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First look: Apple iPhone 5S and 5C

ukgnome
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OK - here is my tuppence worth

I am beginning to like apple products....I know, I'm a total fandroid so this comes as a shock.

However, I don't want to spend that much money. Even the 4s has held onto a commanding price. With Android you still get the full user experience on a cheap phone.

If Apple didn't hold it's price so well then it's a no brainer. I'd have one in a heartbeat. What's that I hear you say? Get a second user unit. Or you're a clever bod, get a broken one and mend it.

Even second hand units go for more than they should, as do broken ones thanks to the way insurance fraud works.

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Live now: LOHAN igniter test flight

ukgnome
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Is it wrong

That watching the live feed I have the Milky War theme of red car and the blue car had a race driving through my head?

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ukgnome
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Excellent

The sites are not blocked behind this corporate firewall.

Hmm, can I legitimise the websites with the client.

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Google driver flees after Street View car crashes

ukgnome
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C'mon ElReg

We haven't had a playmobil reconstruction for a while.....

Reconstruction or it didn't happen!

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Massively leaked iFail 5S POUNDS pundits, EXCITES chavs

ukgnome
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Devil

chavs, rappers and hoes

I can't help but agree with Dabbs

Now this may get downvotes, and I don't give one single fudge.

The iPhone used to be about style, design. It had a sexy chic all of its own. It helped reinvent the mobile phone. And whilst I am not a fanboi I do appreciate what they did. But enough of the same old shit painted different colours. I now buy phones that are not readily available in the UK, phones that look good and are quirky, phones that scream nerd. And apple simply do not scream nerd, they scream herd.

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TWO can play this 64-bit mobile game, says Samsung, crossly

ukgnome
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ARM

Whilst the ARM chips are great, I do wonder when the cheaper MediaTek chips that are prevalent in the Taiwan markets will rise.

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ZTE Open: This dirt-cheap smartphone is a swing and a miss

ukgnome
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Yeah, it's not great, but....

Are you looking for a phone that is Orange?

Do you want it to be sub £100

Would you like front and back camera, and an app store?

Then you need the Lenovo A660, sure it's Android ICS, and yes you might have to fiddle with putting on a modified ROM to get the experience that you like.

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Dyson takes Samsung to court in UK over vacuum cleaner

ukgnome
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Unscientific, I know

I have just showed my new desk buddy a picture of the Sammy, he said, oh I have one of those dysons. It's great how they follow you.

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Fancy a new iPhone 5C or 5S? READ THIS or you may not get 4G data

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Aaaggghhhhhh!!!!!

My mind has just gone PoP!

so I guess the question for all these variants is.....WILL THEY BLEND!

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BBC releases MYSTERY RIDDLE poster for Doctor Who anniversary episode

ukgnome
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Professor Brian Cox would be hosting a show with celebrity guests and members of the public on the science behind Doctor Who.

I predict he mentions the TOMTIT

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IBM offloads customer services biz for half a BEELLION DOLLARS

ukgnome
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Holmes

So then...

Just what is it that IBM actually do?

I mean, I worked for them before the great TUPE and I have no idea.

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Here at last, our 3D beauty: Vulture 2 spaceplane flies in

ukgnome
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*some assembly required, batteries and glue not included.

To get the best from your model you will require Humbrol paints HM2, HM11, M5 221

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Tell me why I don't like Moon days: Bob Geldof heads into SPAAACE

ukgnome
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rejected sub heading

MoonTown Rat?

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In pictures: El Reg hooks up with rain-lashed Spanish rocketeers

ukgnome
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click on the pics for embiggenment

It is phrases like this that makes you the no1 journo for El Reg.

Embiggenment has now been added to by autocorrect

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Should Nominet ban .uk domains that use paedo and crim-friendly words?

ukgnome
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Sorry, is this a Viz Top Tip

Seriously, banning the word hobby will stop the paedophiles?

How about making it law for paedophiles to always have the online handle of nonce1 etc

That way we should easily spot them.....

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Pair of complete tits sorry for pervy app

ukgnome
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Re: Nice idea, but wrong way round

Women have a face?!

Apparently they have two, one on each boob...

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Gov IT write-off: Universal Credit system flushes £34m down toilet

ukgnome
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Well I am surprised that no one saw this coming

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Baffled boffins 'closer' to finding origins of extragalactic COSMIC RAYS

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Re: The real question is

Knowing my luck I'd end up turning into a rock

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Revealed: HUNGRY frosty Arctic cleft that could eat 2 Grand Canyons

ukgnome
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Paris Hilton

Re: Two Grand Canyons?

Well, Olympic size pools measure: 50 metres long, 25 metres wide, and a minimum of 2 metres deep.

(25m x 50m x 2m = 2,500m3; 1L = 0.001m3 so 2,500 x 1000 = 2,500,000L)

So that would mean that 7.5e+5m divided by 25

Of fuggedit it's about 29824 long (in OSSP) (Olympic Size Swimming Pools)

And in some places 400 OSSP depths deep

I think I've lost the will to continue...can anyone help

*Paris because I now know how she feels

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Met Police spaffs £250m keeping 'ineffective' IT systems running - report

ukgnome
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Well that seems a lot, but how much would it cost to update it?

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Vulture 2 spaceplane rises from the powdered nylon

ukgnome
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Is it wring that I read "and a couple of days later were ready to attack this big block of powder"

And thought, jeez man, that's a lot of charlie.

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Behind the candelabra: Power cut sends Britain’s boxes back to the '70s

ukgnome
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The sky box

five minutes of clicking and buzzing followed by another five minutes of pretending not to work.

Glad it's not just mine

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank REBELS against human control

ukgnome
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Terminator

BUT

how long does it take to go around the top gear track?

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Women in IT: ‘If you want to be taken seriously, dress like a man’

ukgnome
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Re: Shows a lack of logic

Indeed, but some stereotypes are true - just ask my wife.

You obviously have never worked with female techies.

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ukgnome
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Shows a lack of logic

Women, and I know the rest of you might not like this are .....logical creatures.

They follow rules a lot better than us men folk, this make them a lot better with certain tasks. However, they are not as inventive. This sounds cruel, but it is by no means an insult. For instance, get two coders a male and a female.....guess which one you can actually read if they leave. And don't even get me started on flow charts detailing the who what when were why.

I have stated on these forums many time, the IT industry would be a lot better off with more women.

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