1402 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011
I haven't had one of these jokers for a while. But I always have fun when they call. Amongst some of my time wasting tricks are.
1. Loading up my riot soundboard, I let them do there "work" until I get bored and simulate either a police raid, or house invasion.
2. From memory I follow there instructions and pretend I am a bumbling oaf....My record is 47mins...
3. I sometimes engage them in chat, and then tell them my life story, about how my wife has just left me. The death of my child. My lust for indian men.....
Am I going to hell?
That's like saying I prefer to be kicked in my right testicle instead of my left.
Right, that's it!
I'm changing my profile picture to an arse.....
*some would say I already have
But on the plus side
It's now easier to delete emails from the android app.
Seriously that's all that I do these days. Yahoo is the spamiest mail provider anywhere
Yes, but is it art? Photo
I don't know about art, but those dildo's in the cabinet behind made me laugh.
audio-jack insertion and removal??????
You can patent that?
I'm filing a patent for bum wiping...I will make 7 billions in no time. Andrex, you will bow down to me.
Oh my golly gosh
I've just learned that bears defecate in the woods
The the pope, leader of the catholic church is himself a catholic.
Soon you will be telling me that Julian Assange is weird
Hmmm, I like iOS but I don't like Apple devices
I like Android, but wish it was on a nokia..
Windows on a mobile.....nope
Ahhh the glow of modernity
I remember when you could have a fag on as you pottered around a filth strewn shop. How things have changed. Now we are in the clutches of modernity. But this shouldn't make us complacent, the drones that work there are bad enough. However......the automated tills of which you speak are just windows XP boxes running an ill-fitting touch screen. Although having said this, ED-209 was once a mini cooper....
What I am trying to say, is get used to the robot rebellion..
When I got this job....
I was asked as part of the bullshit interview questions what I'd spend my cash on.
My reply was cake, although the interviewees also said that wild women, ale and porn is acceptable.
Is it going to be shown on ISS? Or the secret moon base for that matter......
@ Stevie, Roo and Bongojoe
Fellow audiophiles I salute you!
Wrong Again Mr Dabbs
The process is simple: want music, get music, put music in magic box, listen. Why mess about with that?
You try getting hold of Radio gnome by gong - oh damn, just googled and it appears quite easy....well it won't have weasel ripped my flesh my Zappa - oh for gods sake, it appears that you can get that too. Seems you can even buy Monolith by Amebix....
So why do I still have my massive LP collection of rare oddities.
Apologies Mr Dabbs.....seems you could be right (let the downvotes begin)
2 Things I love
Technology and Cricket
El Reg - I salute you, not many sites could combine both
They've turned off Balmer
Lets's hope they don't turn him on again
*in honour of the last IT crowd - Ch4 9pm
Like most posters
Tank full of sharks, fricken laser head mounts as standard
And a big fridge - any change to be stored as bullion
I think you will find that it's is God that provides this free community service...
But as the chuch is next to the sub exchange it may also be BT
damn, I am about to defend BT....what has become of me?
I am moving house soon, into the countryside....Lucky me...
And I think it's awesome that they have fibre....I can still stream and chat and all that sort of stuff that modern living has. Safe in the knowledge that the dozen houses and a pub with building restrictions all around me can also enjoy this. Average speed as the exchange is shared by neighbouring villages is around 10MB...but if it becomes congested I can switch to the churches free 2MB wi-fi....
This is all made possible because BT asked some nice farmers if the could dig a small trench...
Video Game Generation
This happens all the time on video games. Maybe we have been desensitised to normal road and traffic conditions. Just the other day I found myself jumping over pipes....etc etc
A bit of a non story
Plane delayed, person peeved.
They should try the train service provided by Greater Anglia.....
Interest has been perked
I don't want to boot up old dusty to play games, and I don't what an xstation364 under my telly box either.
This looks very promising...
It seems that you can buy an iPhone, but you can't buy classy.
This isn't a surprise...the iPhone is cheaper in the USA
$658 USA price from amazon.com for an unlocked iPhone 5
$807 UK price from amazon.co.uk for an unlocked iPhone5
Hoojie Paloojie it's a beautiful day
What I find hard to believe is that the USB ports were open. At the insurance firm that I provide IT support for this scam to harvest data wouldn't work. It's more locked down that a prison.
Dammit stupid firewall - stupid corporate firewall
Oh Dabbsy, I can call you Dabbsy can't I? Actually I don't care.
You are putting your head into the apple tree again aren't you. But lets remember, it's not just Apple that sucks at pictures, it's android too.
Just, it doesn't seem to be win-okia, they take lovely pictures. OK OK I'm trolling - I guess a phone with a camera is still a phone, and a camera with a phone is a camera. If you want to take pictures, then maybe get a camera.
Incidentally I like your photo's, but only because they are slightly worse that mine.
The 5c is still a great phone
It's just fugly and too expensive.
But if I had the cash I would buy a green one.
OK - here is my tuppence worth
I am beginning to like apple products....I know, I'm a total fandroid so this comes as a shock.
However, I don't want to spend that much money. Even the 4s has held onto a commanding price. With Android you still get the full user experience on a cheap phone.
If Apple didn't hold it's price so well then it's a no brainer. I'd have one in a heartbeat. What's that I hear you say? Get a second user unit. Or you're a clever bod, get a broken one and mend it.
Even second hand units go for more than they should, as do broken ones thanks to the way insurance fraud works.
Is it wrong
That watching the live feed I have the Milky War theme of red car and the blue car had a race driving through my head?
The sites are not blocked behind this corporate firewall.
Hmm, can I legitimise the websites with the client.
We haven't had a playmobil reconstruction for a while.....
Reconstruction or it didn't happen!
chavs, rappers and hoes
I can't help but agree with Dabbs
Now this may get downvotes, and I don't give one single fudge.
The iPhone used to be about style, design. It had a sexy chic all of its own. It helped reinvent the mobile phone. And whilst I am not a fanboi I do appreciate what they did. But enough of the same old shit painted different colours. I now buy phones that are not readily available in the UK, phones that look good and are quirky, phones that scream nerd. And apple simply do not scream nerd, they scream herd.
Whilst the ARM chips are great, I do wonder when the cheaper MediaTek chips that are prevalent in the Taiwan markets will rise.
Yeah, it's not great, but....
Are you looking for a phone that is Orange?
Do you want it to be sub £100
Would you like front and back camera, and an app store?
Then you need the Lenovo A660, sure it's Android ICS, and yes you might have to fiddle with putting on a modified ROM to get the experience that you like.
Unscientific, I know
I have just showed my new desk buddy a picture of the Sammy, he said, oh I have one of those dysons. It's great how they follow you.
My mind has just gone PoP!
so I guess the question for all these variants is.....WILL THEY BLEND!
Professor Brian Cox would be hosting a show with celebrity guests and members of the public on the science behind Doctor Who.
I predict he mentions the TOMTIT
Just what is it that IBM actually do?
I mean, I worked for them before the great TUPE and I have no idea.
*some assembly required, batteries and glue not included.
To get the best from your model you will require Humbrol paints HM2, HM11, M5 221
rejected sub heading
click on the pics for embiggenment
It is phrases like this that makes you the no1 journo for El Reg.
Embiggenment has now been added to by autocorrect
Sorry, is this a Viz Top Tip
Seriously, banning the word hobby will stop the paedophiles?
How about making it law for paedophiles to always have the online handle of nonce1 etc
That way we should easily spot them.....
Re: Nice idea, but wrong way round
Women have a face?!
Apparently they have two, one on each boob...
Well I am surprised that no one saw this coming
Re: The real question is
Knowing my luck I'd end up turning into a rock
Re: Two Grand Canyons?
Well, Olympic size pools measure: 50 metres long, 25 metres wide, and a minimum of 2 metres deep.
(25m x 50m x 2m = 2,500m3; 1L = 0.001m3 so 2,500 x 1000 = 2,500,000L)
So that would mean that 7.5e+5m divided by 25
Of fuggedit it's about 29824 long (in OSSP) (Olympic Size Swimming Pools)
And in some places 400 OSSP depths deep
I think I've lost the will to continue...can anyone help
*Paris because I now know how she feels
Well that seems a lot, but how much would it cost to update it?
Is it wring that I read "and a couple of days later were ready to attack this big block of powder"
And thought, jeez man, that's a lot of charlie.
The sky box
five minutes of clicking and buzzing followed by another five minutes of pretending not to work.
Glad it's not just mine
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