Feeds

* Posts by ukgnome

1318 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

Well Steve Jobs was to blame and he's dead now. I say treat him like Saville and dig him up, burn him then pee on his ashes.

*yes I'm a trolling fandroid

13
2

Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

ukgnome
Silver badge
Alien

BUT........Does this mean that LOHAN can have a groovy light display?

1
0

Universities teach us a thing or two about BYOD

ukgnome
Silver badge

Eduroam is easy to set up on windows as most universities use a simple executable that does the whole set up and join to network for you.

1
0
ukgnome
Silver badge

BYOD at university does have it's own issues. I should know as I worked for a Uni and it used to drive me a little bit mad. I had to be able to configure anything and everything. The only positive that came out of it was I had exposure to every kind of device that you can think of, from spoofing pages so that you can join your Kindle to the network to more mobiles than you can think of. The only issues we every had was cloned \ fake macbooks from China, as well as a couple of hacked imported phones. I did become somewhat adept at virus and malware removal as students will click and link, as well as the staffers. The one thing that I will say is that the network bods and the server chaps totally earn their cash, because the sheer amount of spam / malware / virus / etc is huge, and the systems never did get compromised.

0
0

US gov SMASHES UP TVs and MICE to nuke tiny malware outbreak

ukgnome
Silver badge

Re: It's not an unreasonable course of action

"or we could install Norton AntivIrus on them."

What have they ever done to deserve that?

5
1

Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

ukgnome
Silver badge
Joke

If you wear a surallenlordsugertits face mask does the screen herald you as king?

0
0

Emergency alert system easily pwnable after epic ZOMBIE attack prank

ukgnome
Silver badge

@dogged

Either it's irony or some sort of negative astroturfing.

Nope - it's Eadon, but hiding behind the cowl of anonymous

4
1

Seven snazzy smartphones for seven sorts of shoppers

ukgnome
Silver badge

merimobiles.com is where I purchased my dual sim droid from. Although had to purchase using my phone browser as it doesn't like a desktop environment. Also, with dual sim only one of the slots does 3G. So it might not be ideal.

I make no guarantees for the phones on the site etc etc

0
0
ukgnome
Silver badge
Happy

Chinese handsets ......

The rise in the Chinese markets are a much better option. It used to be that some of the devices from China were poor quality clones of western devices, sold with access to a Chinese (cr)app store. However, as well as the reasonable clones they now offer a lot of fantastic quality handsets. I currently use a 4" waterproof Lenovo dual sim android phone, it came rooted and fully set up for the UK including Play store.

I would not own any of these mobiles mentioned as they are so over-priced it's a joke.

1
1

Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

ukgnome
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

How can you feel a strange chemical smell?

1
0

Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

ukgnome
Silver badge

In the UK it is free, and I have just signed up.

As for letting someone watch the procedure, well it is a well respected training hospital that I use. So ALL procedures I say yes to spectators. That way you get a top surgeon that is so well respected he allowed to train, and you also get the very very best in pre and post care. As well as a top notch job.

3
0

Star bosses name asteroid to honor author Iain Banks

ukgnome
Silver badge

As long as he gets a small whisky asteroid for company.

Seriously though, what a fantastic way for his name to live forever, aside from his awesome books that is.

0
0

French snooping as deep as PRISM: Le Monde

ukgnome
Silver badge
Holmes

Dear Spys

If you were any good at your job then we wouldn't know you were spying. It seems that you all suck!

*just sayin*

1
1

Patriot hacker 'The Jester' attacks nations offering Snowden help

ukgnome
Silver badge
Mushroom

Dear Jester

Feck off you pencil dicked moron.

Your attacks will only poor fuel on the NSA fire.

If you want to keep your land of the "free" and home of the "brave" then stand down you moron.

** "free" = mindless drones

** "brave" = anyone who is prepared to hide behind a stupid script kiddy handle

4
3

Live or let dial - phones ain’t what they used to be

ukgnome
Silver badge

I too look like James Bond

Unfortunately I look like James Bond the evil wizard that eats baby penguins and not James Bond the spy.

0
0

Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play CRICKET

ukgnome
Silver badge

Now if we could just get those boffins to explain how Shane Warne was able to bowl a finger slip flipper we would all be even wiser.

0
0

Osbo jacks up spending on spooks to keep us safe from TERROR

ukgnome
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

<----Do you think these are cheap?

1
0

Chinese 'nauts return to Earth after vigorous space coupling

ukgnome
Silver badge

It seems that China is rapidly becoming the masters of space. There mission control would make a bond villain drool. My money is them having the first moon-base and also the first Mars-base.

3
1

Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

ukgnome
Silver badge
Big Brother

Cold reading - And that's not just there website!

<---That's not big brother, it's Tim my spirit guide

Derren Brown has a lot to say on this in his books and shows, essentially he says it's a load of twaddle

1
0

Glasgow subway's new smart tickets aren't, moan passengers

ukgnome
Silver badge

Re: Boo Hoo

But then I would lose 12k due to a unique on call \ overtime arrangement for another client.

And also, Ipswich!!!!! Nope I don't think so

0
2
ukgnome
Silver badge

Boo Hoo

I commute from Norwich to Ipswich and that costs £306 per month.

Now that's expensive!

And what do I get for this?

An ageing fleet, no free wifi, congestion on the tracks, sometimes I do however get a seat.

0
2

That enough, folks? Starbucks tosses £5m into UK taxman's coffers

ukgnome
Silver badge

Hard to get excited

This is just a PR stunt, as they have already said that they will now have to close or move stores in areas that make little or no money. So they are going to close stores and claim that it's the governments fault as they had to pay tax.

"A spokeswoman said the company was now "undertaking measures to make Starbucks profitable in the UK".

She added unprofitable stores would be closed or relocated and there would be a "greater reliance on franchised and licensed stores". (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23019514)

1
0

Our week with Soylent: Don't chuck out your vintage food quite yet

ukgnome
Silver badge

@Tom 35

Quite a lot of the good health food shops will make you peanut butter from just peanuts. The first time I tried it was from a shop in Wisbech (of all ungodly places)

It is possible to make your own, although you do need a good food processor and some form of oil to help bind it (unless you have a press, and then you can go 100% peanut) see http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Peanut-Butter for more info.

As for Soylent, I'm tempted :-)

0
0

El Reg rocket squad poised to select Ultimate Cuppa teabag

ukgnome
Silver badge

Re: Yorkshire Gold!

Totally agree on all counts. All water should be filtered. And as for the choice of defacto tea +1 to you sir

0
0

Ferocious fungus imperils future of British gin and tonic

ukgnome
Silver badge
Joke

When this crisis is over will Brian Blessed do a news item declaring

"Gordons Alive!"

14
0

Suck it Vine: Instagram adds 15-second video clips with fancy filters

ukgnome
Silver badge

Yeah but....

can you show nipples?

0
0

Offensive, iconoclastic internet trolls will NOT be prosecuted, says DPP

ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

This is not only allowed but this is positively encouraged.

In fact they are debating in parliament on whether this should be rule 1 of the twitter EULA

1
0
ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

Keir Starmer is in fact Spartacus!

0
0

Chinese hackers launch PRISM scare campaign

ukgnome
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: "Widespread interest"?

No one expects the spannish inquisition........etc

I can understand the lack of interest as a free thinking libtard Brit :-)

In the UK we are not surprised by this, as we all know about Bletchly Park and the work it carried out in WWII. If it wasn't for the work of the code breakers and spy network then Norwich wouldn't still be on the map (or summink)

It's just that the whole of prism is a bit of a non story for a lot of us, and the media has tried to fuel this by negative reporting. Yes some people have their emails scanned, it has happened for a while. Yes some calls are recorded (and not just for training dolphins or porpoises) And yes some people are outraged as they seeminly had no idea that communications could be intercepted on such a high level. However a lot of people was never under any illusion that facebook, G+ and twitter are public and that sometimes keywords in communications are flagged for investigation.

apologies if you thought I was trying to use surprise, well surprise and fear, and maybe fanatical devotion to the pope as weapons against your post.

1
0
ukgnome
Silver badge
Meh

Re: "Widespread interest"?

I am both a guardian reader and an El Reg reader and yet I don't care much about it. For every commentard that bangs on about how terrible it is that spy organisations harvest data for their spying needs there are hundreds that don't actually care that much.

Next you will be telling me that the CCTV cameras in the town centre are monitored.

And as for the conspiracy theory nutters, yeah PRISM is a smokescreen for the bilderberg / G8 / Aliens seen over moscow stories.

MEH MEH MEH!

1
0

Hey mobile firms: About that Android thing... Did Google add a lockout clause?

ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

Oh, this old chestnut

Maybe Ford should be investigated because I can't have a Mercedes engine in my Focus.

17
2

Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't

ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

Conspiracy theory !

Both maps are correct - Bing shows the public hologram of a twee golf course and hotel whilst Google shows the truth, if you zoom in you can clearly see the opening to the lower forth dimension.

2
0

Microsoft lures buy-curious vixens, corduroys with a cheap fondle

ukgnome
Silver badge

If they touted these at IT pro's then I would actually buy one.

I would not pay retail price for one though.

6
1

Internet fraud still stings suckers

ukgnome
Silver badge
Joke

Social Engineering Scams work best

And I can prove this - all you need to do is register on my website for more info

*credit card required

1
0

NSA: We COULD track you by your phone ... if we WANTED to

ukgnome
Silver badge

Well imagine that

A security agency states that it could carry out activities that could be described as spying.

Next you will be telling us that bears defecate in a woods.

The whole of Prism is such a non story.

1
3

NSA PRISM snoop-gate: Won't someone think of the children, wails Apple

ukgnome
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: I am not a terrorist

Dear John,

Presumably you walk around with your tin foil hat on and a hoody obscuring your face. You probably have camera resistant number plates and move house every 6 months so that you don't show up on the electoral register. You may of even elected to have some form of surgery so that you can no longer be recognised?

Hmm, probably not. So what are you and all the other posters so afraid of? You have been monitored in some form since your birth. You have been registered on so many systems. Just what kind of activities are you getting up to that are making yourself and a majority of others so paranoid? Yeah I hear all the talk about erosion of privacy and all that. Maybe it's just that your life is more exciting than mine. Maybe you worry about the data that they hold. Me on the other hand am more worried that I'll forget to put the bins out tomorrow. And some how I feel that the "authorities" don't actually care about that soft of thing.

0
5
ukgnome
Silver badge
Happy

Re: I am not a terrorist

Surely if you are not a terrorist then you have nothing to hide, except maybe a few obscure specialist site subscriptions maybe.

2
0

Julian Assange: Google's just an arm of US government

ukgnome
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Die Julian...

Whilst I am rather bored of this David Icke wannabe I cannot wish him death. That's a bit nasty......

But I do want him extradited so that we can all move on.

15
20

Google launches broadband balloons, radio astronomy frets

ukgnome
Silver badge
Pirate

I am trying my hardest to remember the hoax news article. Ah yes that's right The Pirate Bay proclaimed that they would user drones \ balloons.

Like this

0
0

EU signs off on eCall emergency-phone-in-every-car plan

ukgnome
Silver badge

Only a few minor issues to work through

What happens when we leave Europe and use a different nymber?

What happens when the ecall device is cloned \ hacked?

What happens if you can't get a GPS signal?

What happens if you get a flat battery?

What happens if you export a car to Japan, or some other country that drives on the left.

0
5

Badger bloodbath brouhaha brings 'bodge' bumpkin bank burgle bluster

ukgnome
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Well done dickheads

National Farmers Union Mutual Insurance Society insures more than just farmers. In fact anyone can join and receive the benefits of some of the most incredibly cheap insurance that you will ever encounter.

I am against the cull of badgers and would prefer that farmers sort out their biosecurity. I am not against businesses carrying out legitimate business.

8
0

What do you mean WHY is Sony PS4 so pricey in Oz?

ukgnome
Silver badge

I read as far as

We gingers are supposed to be bright to make up for our hideous genetic deformity.

*that's the precise point I spat food all over my desk

6
0

Whoever recently showed us the secret documents: Do get in touch

ukgnome
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Like anyone is going to fall for that old chestnut. This is obviously a cunning trap

3
0

NSA accused of new crimes ... against slideware

ukgnome
Silver badge

Re: Death BY Powerpoint

But they couldn't actually use a Prism as that prior art is held by Pink Floyd

0
0

Cold, dead hands of Steve Jobs slip from iPhones: The Cult of Ive is upon us

ukgnome
Silver badge
Meh

Bloomin 'eck

It's not like Apple murder kittens, the design is OK

the unlock screen looks like jellybean and the icons look like big shiny kids drawings of what computer icons should look like.

It's not gonna set the world on fire, but hey - no drowned kitties

1
0

PM Cameron calls for modern, programmable computers! (We think)

ukgnome
Silver badge
Devil

Those new programmable computers will never catch on.

3
0

Chrome and Firefox are planet-wreckers, IE cuddles dolphins

ukgnome
Silver badge
Trollface

Bigger Picture Please

It may be less power hungry on a client PC but what is the overall cost in terms of power?

How much power does the development office use compared to the others?

How much power do the development servers use compared to the other?

How much power is used in getting the developers to work?

Do the developers take pack up? Or do they use a canteen?

0
0

Tim Cook: Android version fragmentation is 'terrible for developers'

ukgnome
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Android Winning

You're not wrong, have you seen the improved unlock screen.

It looks remarkably like a jellybean format. I know you can't do much with the digital format of the clock, but same font, same position. Even my Apple friends have joked they are using a Samsung Apple hybrid.

7
1

Author Iain (M) Banks falls to cancer at 59

ukgnome
Silver badge
Pint

A loss to the bookshelves

<-----it should be whisky

1
0

Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

ukgnome
Silver badge
Unhappy

Croque Madame uses an egg rather than pineapple

Apparently the addition of a pineapple is called Croque Hawaien

<-----knowing this makes me unhappy - damn the internet!

1
0