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* Posts by ukgnome

1283 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Egad! Could Samsung be CHEATING in Galaxy benchmark tests?

ukgnome
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Joke

I benchmarked my phone

And that's the last time I put it on a bench

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Typical! Google's wonder-dongle is a solution looking for a problem

ukgnome
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Just for the record, Sky's GO is a rebranded Roku which includes Roku apps access......I don't work for Sky, but c'mon that's awesome!

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Jurors start stretch in the cooler for Facebooking, Googling the accused

ukgnome
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FAIL

Wow - Seems you downvoters missed

Whilst I think these two jurors were dumb,

AND

Seriously though, if you put an internet connected device into everyone's hand then human nature will do the rest.

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ukgnome
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Whilst I think these two jurors were dumb, I also feel that the justice system needs to play catch up with the digital age. Maybe the jurors shouldn't watch TV or listen to the radio, and at all cost they should avoid the daily mail.

Seriously though, if you put an internet connected device into everyone's hand then human nature will do the rest.

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BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

ukgnome
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Bravo

This actually show a keen level of detail, I remember the band printer like it was yesterday. The only pedantic thing that I will pull you up on is a million pages.....That seems quite low, when I worked at a popular frozen food and biscuit manufacturer the printers there were on several million before I left.

The whole threading the inky ribbon when you had forgotten gloves, the watching your team leader almost slice cleanly through his thumb in a moment of stupidity. The blood spurts over the 4 banks of printers, the ruined statements. Ahh it's all coming back to me, the smell of a freshly opened ribbon spool. The misaligning of cheques, the fire as paper dust from rapid printing ignited in a beautiful plume akin to a fire in a flour factory. And 4 way carbon paper, not something you see today. Did you know that the spindles that you thread the carbon paper onto when you want to separate the sheets of carbon from the printout seemingly revolve at a million RPM, and can snap a wrist and throw a man across a room. And did you know if one of these spindles comes loose they can go with such velocity that they can break double glazing and smash into a leaving visitor.

Happy memories - thanks BOFH

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Grey market mobes on the slide as makers go legit

ukgnome
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I use a lenovo dual sim phone. If mobile buyers were smart they would also but chinese phones.

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Pikmin to the rescue: Can Nintendo revamp revive Wii U fortunes?

ukgnome
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It might not appeal to everyone, but there is something enthralling about the Pikmin. Maybe it's because they call me master. I can't wait for my copy.

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Is your Apple gadget made of human misery and eco-ruin?

ukgnome
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Do people care?

Well with a tiny bit of research the answer is YES (sort of)

http://www.fairphone.com/

However the Android fairphone is never going to set the sky on fire with it's specification (probably a good thing, sky fire is bad m'kay)

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'Thundering mechanical behemoth' walker mech to attack Leicester today

ukgnome
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Terminator

I used to go to Diggerland when I lived in the north east - who doesn't love machinery that can rip a humans head off, and that's just a skid steer.

As for robot art, check out the Earth Bound Misfits (juggling troup) stilt robot, robotstiltskin - sure it's human powered but it's means as the proverbial!

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Gadgets are NOT the perfect gift for REAL men

ukgnome
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Coat

I bought the wifelet a vacuum cleaner, and not a posh fancy Dyson, I am sure she loved it! I did also buy her a fancy shiny shiny slate as well, so maybe the droid tech is the gift that prompted her her smiles. But in my mind it was the cheapo vacuum cleaner, hey it had a hippo filter which is useful right, I mean who want's to inadvertently suck up a hippo.

Actually my Wife hardly ever buys me tech as that would be like buying me a tie. In fact I ask for puzzle boxes and all manner of things that make my brain hurt. And she usually gets bought a gadget, it's a sort of present reversal as she is an academic (just how many degrees does one women need) and I'm more stuck in my world of IT hell.

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Watch LIVE tomorrow: LOHAN team attempts second pop at SPEARS

ukgnome
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Pirate

Salutations to the Playmobil Frogman - I salute you.

Darwin speed my flippered friend!

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Caterpillar B15: The Android smartphone for the building site

ukgnome
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Re: Performance

According to http://source.android.com/compatibility/4.1/android-4.1-cdd.pdf

Device implementations MUST have at least 340MB of memory available to the kernel and userspace. The 340MB. MUST be in addition to any memory dedicated to hardware components such as radio, video, and so on that is not under the kernel's control.

Device implementations MUST have at least 350MB of non-volatile storage available for application private data.

That is, the /data partition MUST be at least 350MB.

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ukgnome
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Aha you are correct - I fudged my acronym - what I meant was the following.

Are both SIM slots capable of using a 3G capable connection, as usually only one of the SIM slots can be used for this purpose which enables the 3G connectivity of the device. I thought the other slot wasn't able to utilise this particular function.

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ukgnome
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Dual sim? Is that Dual 3g sim or 1 GSM and one 3G?

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Oh please, PLEASE bring back Xbox One's hated DRM - say Xbox loyalists

ukgnome
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Trollface

What's wrong with a dual system?

An online entertainment system with freebies and goodies for always on users that has full DRM and an occasional user version for normal people.

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Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK - Judge

ukgnome
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Trollface

Well Steve Jobs was to blame and he's dead now. I say treat him like Saville and dig him up, burn him then pee on his ashes.

*yes I'm a trolling fandroid

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Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

ukgnome
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Alien

BUT........Does this mean that LOHAN can have a groovy light display?

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Universities teach us a thing or two about BYOD

ukgnome
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Eduroam is easy to set up on windows as most universities use a simple executable that does the whole set up and join to network for you.

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ukgnome
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BYOD at university does have it's own issues. I should know as I worked for a Uni and it used to drive me a little bit mad. I had to be able to configure anything and everything. The only positive that came out of it was I had exposure to every kind of device that you can think of, from spoofing pages so that you can join your Kindle to the network to more mobiles than you can think of. The only issues we every had was cloned \ fake macbooks from China, as well as a couple of hacked imported phones. I did become somewhat adept at virus and malware removal as students will click and link, as well as the staffers. The one thing that I will say is that the network bods and the server chaps totally earn their cash, because the sheer amount of spam / malware / virus / etc is huge, and the systems never did get compromised.

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US gov SMASHES UP TVs and MICE to nuke tiny malware outbreak

ukgnome
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Re: It's not an unreasonable course of action

"or we could install Norton AntivIrus on them."

What have they ever done to deserve that?

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Big Beardie is watching you: Lord Sugar gets into facial recognition

ukgnome
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Joke

If you wear a surallenlordsugertits face mask does the screen herald you as king?

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Emergency alert system easily pwnable after epic ZOMBIE attack prank

ukgnome
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@dogged

Either it's irony or some sort of negative astroturfing.

Nope - it's Eadon, but hiding behind the cowl of anonymous

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Seven snazzy smartphones for seven sorts of shoppers

ukgnome
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merimobiles.com is where I purchased my dual sim droid from. Although had to purchase using my phone browser as it doesn't like a desktop environment. Also, with dual sim only one of the slots does 3G. So it might not be ideal.

I make no guarantees for the phones on the site etc etc

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ukgnome
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Happy

Chinese handsets ......

The rise in the Chinese markets are a much better option. It used to be that some of the devices from China were poor quality clones of western devices, sold with access to a Chinese (cr)app store. However, as well as the reasonable clones they now offer a lot of fantastic quality handsets. I currently use a 4" waterproof Lenovo dual sim android phone, it came rooted and fully set up for the UK including Play store.

I would not own any of these mobiles mentioned as they are so over-priced it's a joke.

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Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

How can you feel a strange chemical smell?

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Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

ukgnome
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In the UK it is free, and I have just signed up.

As for letting someone watch the procedure, well it is a well respected training hospital that I use. So ALL procedures I say yes to spectators. That way you get a top surgeon that is so well respected he allowed to train, and you also get the very very best in pre and post care. As well as a top notch job.

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Star bosses name asteroid to honor author Iain Banks

ukgnome
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As long as he gets a small whisky asteroid for company.

Seriously though, what a fantastic way for his name to live forever, aside from his awesome books that is.

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French snooping as deep as PRISM: Le Monde

ukgnome
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Holmes

Dear Spys

If you were any good at your job then we wouldn't know you were spying. It seems that you all suck!

*just sayin*

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Patriot hacker 'The Jester' attacks nations offering Snowden help

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Dear Jester

Feck off you pencil dicked moron.

Your attacks will only poor fuel on the NSA fire.

If you want to keep your land of the "free" and home of the "brave" then stand down you moron.

** "free" = mindless drones

** "brave" = anyone who is prepared to hide behind a stupid script kiddy handle

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Live or let dial - phones ain’t what they used to be

ukgnome
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I too look like James Bond

Unfortunately I look like James Bond the evil wizard that eats baby penguins and not James Bond the spy.

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Throwing arms let humans rise above poo-flinging apes to play CRICKET

ukgnome
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Now if we could just get those boffins to explain how Shane Warne was able to bowl a finger slip flipper we would all be even wiser.

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Osbo jacks up spending on spooks to keep us safe from TERROR

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

<----Do you think these are cheap?

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Chinese 'nauts return to Earth after vigorous space coupling

ukgnome
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It seems that China is rapidly becoming the masters of space. There mission control would make a bond villain drool. My money is them having the first moon-base and also the first Mars-base.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

ukgnome
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Big Brother

Cold reading - And that's not just there website!

<---That's not big brother, it's Tim my spirit guide

Derren Brown has a lot to say on this in his books and shows, essentially he says it's a load of twaddle

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Glasgow subway's new smart tickets aren't, moan passengers

ukgnome
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Re: Boo Hoo

But then I would lose 12k due to a unique on call \ overtime arrangement for another client.

And also, Ipswich!!!!! Nope I don't think so

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ukgnome
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Boo Hoo

I commute from Norwich to Ipswich and that costs £306 per month.

Now that's expensive!

And what do I get for this?

An ageing fleet, no free wifi, congestion on the tracks, sometimes I do however get a seat.

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That enough, folks? Starbucks tosses £5m into UK taxman's coffers

ukgnome
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Hard to get excited

This is just a PR stunt, as they have already said that they will now have to close or move stores in areas that make little or no money. So they are going to close stores and claim that it's the governments fault as they had to pay tax.

"A spokeswoman said the company was now "undertaking measures to make Starbucks profitable in the UK".

She added unprofitable stores would be closed or relocated and there would be a "greater reliance on franchised and licensed stores". (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23019514)

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Our week with Soylent: Don't chuck out your vintage food quite yet

ukgnome
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@Tom 35

Quite a lot of the good health food shops will make you peanut butter from just peanuts. The first time I tried it was from a shop in Wisbech (of all ungodly places)

It is possible to make your own, although you do need a good food processor and some form of oil to help bind it (unless you have a press, and then you can go 100% peanut) see http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Peanut-Butter for more info.

As for Soylent, I'm tempted :-)

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El Reg rocket squad poised to select Ultimate Cuppa teabag

ukgnome
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Re: Yorkshire Gold!

Totally agree on all counts. All water should be filtered. And as for the choice of defacto tea +1 to you sir

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Ferocious fungus imperils future of British gin and tonic

ukgnome
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Joke

When this crisis is over will Brian Blessed do a news item declaring

"Gordons Alive!"

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Suck it Vine: Instagram adds 15-second video clips with fancy filters

ukgnome
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Yeah but....

can you show nipples?

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Offensive, iconoclastic internet trolls will NOT be prosecuted, says DPP

ukgnome
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Trollface

This is not only allowed but this is positively encouraged.

In fact they are debating in parliament on whether this should be rule 1 of the twitter EULA

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ukgnome
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Trollface

Keir Starmer is in fact Spartacus!

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Chinese hackers launch PRISM scare campaign

ukgnome
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Thumb Up

Re: "Widespread interest"?

No one expects the spannish inquisition........etc

I can understand the lack of interest as a free thinking libtard Brit :-)

In the UK we are not surprised by this, as we all know about Bletchly Park and the work it carried out in WWII. If it wasn't for the work of the code breakers and spy network then Norwich wouldn't still be on the map (or summink)

It's just that the whole of prism is a bit of a non story for a lot of us, and the media has tried to fuel this by negative reporting. Yes some people have their emails scanned, it has happened for a while. Yes some calls are recorded (and not just for training dolphins or porpoises) And yes some people are outraged as they seeminly had no idea that communications could be intercepted on such a high level. However a lot of people was never under any illusion that facebook, G+ and twitter are public and that sometimes keywords in communications are flagged for investigation.

apologies if you thought I was trying to use surprise, well surprise and fear, and maybe fanatical devotion to the pope as weapons against your post.

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ukgnome
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Meh

Re: "Widespread interest"?

I am both a guardian reader and an El Reg reader and yet I don't care much about it. For every commentard that bangs on about how terrible it is that spy organisations harvest data for their spying needs there are hundreds that don't actually care that much.

Next you will be telling me that the CCTV cameras in the town centre are monitored.

And as for the conspiracy theory nutters, yeah PRISM is a smokescreen for the bilderberg / G8 / Aliens seen over moscow stories.

MEH MEH MEH!

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Hey mobile firms: About that Android thing... Did Google add a lockout clause?

ukgnome
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Trollface

Oh, this old chestnut

Maybe Ford should be investigated because I can't have a Mercedes engine in my Focus.

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Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't

ukgnome
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Trollface

Conspiracy theory !

Both maps are correct - Bing shows the public hologram of a twee golf course and hotel whilst Google shows the truth, if you zoom in you can clearly see the opening to the lower forth dimension.

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Microsoft lures buy-curious vixens, corduroys with a cheap fondle

ukgnome
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If they touted these at IT pro's then I would actually buy one.

I would not pay retail price for one though.

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Internet fraud still stings suckers

ukgnome
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Joke

Social Engineering Scams work best

And I can prove this - all you need to do is register on my website for more info

*credit card required

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NSA: We COULD track you by your phone ... if we WANTED to

ukgnome
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Well imagine that

A security agency states that it could carry out activities that could be described as spying.

Next you will be telling us that bears defecate in a woods.

The whole of Prism is such a non story.

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