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* Posts by ukgnome

1117 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

ukgnome
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infuse not mash!

Tea needs to be a golden honey colour - none of this bag mashing malarkey. Then you may add whatever other things you need.

If you must put milk in it then only full fat milk will do. I simply don't want to hear about green or red top milk. If it doesn't have a silver top then it's not milk. (or blue top for you supermarket buyers)

And by Jove, only silver spoon granulated sugar if you require sweetness.

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Gone in 30 minutes: Chinese tweets purged by army of censors

ukgnome
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Joke

Apparently censorship tweets are censored in china.

<---ironic icon as this aint no joke

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RBS and NatWest FAIL downs services across UK

ukgnome
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Oh dear

Who's been patching live systems (again) tsk

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'Million-strong' zombie army devours Raspberry Pi's crunchy base

ukgnome
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FAIL

Open Letter

Just what kind of feckless twazzock launches a DDOS on a registered charity? Especially a tech charity, unless the botty lord (presumably that's what you call the controller) is scared of future kids out scripting them.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear feckless twazzocks,

There are a multitude of web ne'er-do-wells that deserve a jolly good spanking with a DDOS, but the pi foundation isn't one of them. Can I suggest that you take heed that bigger boys won't think you are big or clever.

Now feck off the interwebs!

UKgnome and friends!

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PC World ordered to rip up promo for next-day repair promise

ukgnome
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Meh

Normally I wouldn't defend PC world

But a lot of issues arise with extended warranties when the customer doesn't bother reading the documentation.

They then feel aggrieved when some spotty call centre slave points out some key points.

Having said that, the plain English campaign should get involved with all warranty and T&C documentation to make them easier for the hard of thinking.

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Honk if the car in front is connected

ukgnome
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Joke

How long before cars have their own social network? And what would it be called?

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Twenty classic arcade games

ukgnome
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Others that are missing but not forgotten

Rampage

Burger Time

Bomber Jack ? (I think)

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ukgnome
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Happy

So many that could\should be on the list.

Where is Gorf? "alert alert enemy invaders..."

Why isn't out run mentioned? Or pole position for that matter.

Sad to see no ghost and goblins.

And what of Tron?

Ahh so much wasted youth, oh the folly

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ukgnome
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Re: This is an outrage

Totally agree, the hydraulic cabinet was way ahead of it's time.

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UK injects £88m into Euro bid to build Hubble-thrashing 'scope

ukgnome
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£88m

Isn't it nice that we are all in it together.

I'm sure that money would only be wasted otherwise.

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Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

ukgnome
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I wouldn't normally post this, but....

I am starting to feel sorry for Judge Lucy Koh.

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Apple iWatch: Coming soon, runs iOS, to earn mucho mazuma

ukgnome
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Trollface

I will only be interested if they create a smart ipocket watch and Google monocle.

A gentleman has standards after all.

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Pirate Bay 'seeks asylum' in, er, 'North Korea'

ukgnome
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Joke

TPB should relocate to Caroline, they could get Tony Blackburn to host the servers

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Microsoft parts clouds over Bing Maps with massive sat pic upgrade

ukgnome
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ocean floor imagery???

Yeah, because sometime soon I plan to drive there.

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Raspberry Pi-powered Tardis blasts off from 'Blighty's Baikonur'

ukgnome
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Re: In space...

According to various comics and books it goes Vwroop Vwroop

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ukgnome
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Headmaster

Shut up you incorrect pedants!

TARDIS (time and etc) was actually the name given to the vehicle by Susan

The vehicle is actually a type 40 TT capsule

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Wikileaker Bradley Manning pleads not guilty to 'aiding the enemy'

ukgnome
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Facepalm

@Wzrd1 Team America F##k Yeah!

Hmm - in one particular jolly outing those good ol' boys can be heard chuckling as they blow up some German journalists.

In America a group of men with AK's can be considered hunters, or don't you read the news.

Let me guess, you're one of those good ol' apple pie types that think the NRA is a great organisation.

Guess what those ....blah blah blah, I wasn't there so I can't comment - hence they may or may not of been an enemy combatant.

Idiot journalists? Yeah, they speak highly of you. Oh wait, no they fucking don't they were gunned down by laughing american forces.

I am happy that you have expressed an opinion, even if it is incorrect.

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ukgnome
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Pint

Whistle blowing

Should be applauded when it proves a point, or improves things for the company involved.

This guy should be applauded not imprisoned, he showed the world what a bunch of cucking funts the american military are.

Yeah, lets all laugh and be jolly whilst we blow the crap out of people that may or may not be some sort of enemy combatant.

<---a pint? hell yeah, manning deserves one.

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Air-to-ground rocket men flog top-secret mobe-crypto to Brad in accounts

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: James Bond..

Does Q improve ducks too?

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First, servers were DEEP-FRIED... now, boffins bring you WET ones

ukgnome
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This isn't the first time I have heard of this.

A chemist friend of mine that studied ad Durham University worked on something similar in his undergrad days. His PC sat in a fishtank of blue gunk

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Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

ukgnome
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There is an android weather app that uses the pressure sensor - the pressure data is uploaded to the cloud "pun intended) so that weather boffins can use the data to better detect trends etc.

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New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

ukgnome
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Trollface

Dead people are anything but social, unless you call PPI phone calls social.

PPI call centre agents are dead aren't they?

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Symantec reports early Stuxnet variant first went live in 2005

ukgnome
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Trollface

SYMANTEC REPORTS EARLY STUXNET VARIANT FIRST WENT LIVE IN 2005

Shouldn't that read

SYMANTEC REPORTS IT HAS BEEN INEFFECTIVE AGAINST STUXNET AND OTHER MALWARE VARIANTS SINCE 2005

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Elon Musk: 'Fudged' NYT article cost Tesla $100m

ukgnome
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Trollface

I have seen all kinds of cars in a pickle - from Ferrari all the way down to Reliant.

All manner of ages and all manner of faults, and I haven' been put off buying any car because of that.

Tens of millions? Probably the amount of people that think Musk is a twazzock!

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It begins: Six-strikes copyright smackdown starts in US

ukgnome
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Devil

How can it tell that the torrent infringes copyright?

Does it download the torrent itself and then compare it to an actual film \ music file?

Because isn't reproducing any part of copyright material an offence.

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Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

ukgnome
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North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

ukgnome
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Windows

What about Beards

I couldn't live in a dictatorship if I had to shave, I haven't seen my chin for twenty years.

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You've made an app for Android, iOS, Windows - what about the user interface?

ukgnome
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@Ru Silver Bullet syndrome

It seems that Wikipedia has everything - seems they are slower and therefore penetrate less.

Ballistic? I was furious

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ukgnome
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Re: Silver Bullet syndrome

Silver bullets do exist you silly billy. Werewolves on the other (hairy) hand do not.

The reason that you haven't seen a silver bullet is probably because the vampires hoard them.

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Ancient lost continent discovered lounging on Mauritian beach

ukgnome
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"A group of geoboffins now think that further fragments of Mauritia exist below the waves"

If Ian Duncan Smith had his way that line would read A group of shelf stackers....

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Review: Britain's 4G smartphones

ukgnome
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Nope, Sorry!

Just why do you need to stream that much data to your phone? Call me a cheap skate, but I pre-fill all the content I need onto my device and then I don't need a data budget.

We have all been conned that we actually need internet on the move, just how many pictures of cats do you need to upload to facebook whilst you're on the go?

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Council IT bod in the dock for flogging scrap work PC parts

ukgnome
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Facepalm

HDD and memory

Well when I send for the WEEE man these are the parts I keep. They then get sent to the shredder, at least that way I don't have a data leak of any kind.

What this guy did was so dumb, on occasions like this it's best to know a waste recycler and go legitimate if you can.

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SimCity Classic

ukgnome
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I do so love the commentards that are that sure they know me that they post a response, especially the anons.

If I have said it once I will say in again and again and again and again and again and again and again until I am certain that you understand. When I want your opinion I will give it to you.

*Oops "and again"I was one too short, I simply can't leave it on an odd number, as my PC may turn to jelly.

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ukgnome
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I don't know why, but this game started an obsession, I guess it played to my slight OCD. It was a great game to start with, lost its way in a couple of sequels but the latest release looks very playable.

I might fire up my Amiga tonight for a bit of nostalgia :-)

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BOFH: Climb the corp ladder - and use your boss as a bullet shield

ukgnome
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"The second bit: you have to enhance your job title to a point that HR have no idea what you should be paid"

That must be why IBM insist that I am an engineer, and I only make the tea!

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

ukgnome
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Trollface

Hmm - who owns the patent on flexi-screens?

Oh yeah, Samsung

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This 320-gigapixel snap of London is size of Buckingham Palace

ukgnome
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Worlds smallest car?

Tiny car or just damaged?

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ukgnome
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Re: ermm...

Looks like a fringe event - best encase it in amber.

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ukgnome
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Saw this on the ONE show last night

Truly an awesome image - can you spot the same guy twice?

He's wearing a one show T shirt and waving at the top of St Paul's

Can you spot where he is again?

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Curiosity Mars rover flashes pics of GREY drilled powder sample

ukgnome
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Coat

Oh K9, you shouldn't be snorting that

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Brit robot programmers banged up for £500,000 tax evasion

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

There goes the entrepreneurial spirit

*just as well the HMRC is effective at recovering taxes that £500,000 will surly go a long way.

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BBC: Monster cargo ship delivers '863 million tins of baked beans'

ukgnome
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Re: @ukgnome 70's Maths question of the day

Because ex-IT bod and welsh superhero told me

captain beany

The Captains Wiki page

Although according to the Heinz website the answer is actually 465 beans per standard 415g can (approx)

I guess I got my can sizes wrong

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ukgnome
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70's Maths question of the day

Each bean is approximately 0.5 cubed -

An Olympic swimming pool must be 50m x25m x2m

Therefore approximately 5 billion beans fit in the pool.

The question is how many pools would 863 million tins of baked beans fill?

I do know that there are on average 328 beans per can.

**Please show your working out in the margins

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Nature pulls ‘North Korean radioactivity’ story

ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

No - I definitely meant lower 4th - don't they teach kids Icke these days

not for the gullible

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ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

This is so typical in the conspiracy communities - A+B=X

Everyone knows that Nature is controlled by lizards from the lower fourth dimension, although I am not ruling out the Kims as humans controlled via the shadow method of imprinting. I don't believe they are true lizards like the rothchilds etc

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Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

ukgnome
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Facepalm

He was paraphrasing "Taken"

** apparently - No, I haven't seen it either

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Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Heh!

Ram Raid = the act of herding sheep illicitly

* I didn't realise that they had had another iLaunch

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ukgnome
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Depends on if the insurance company would pay out.

Pay attention @loan - just because you have insurance it doesn't mean they will pay out. Sometimes you (the business) just have to accept the risk, which in this case is fitting a door made out of glass with no protection such as roller door or automated fricken lasers.

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Apple updates iOS, does not fix passcode-bypass hack

ukgnome
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I thought these sort of exploits were on on Windows devices - still the battery life fix is great news.

Only the glaring security hole to fix, just as well apple devices don't get malware.

*checks news - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21510791

** holy smudge - I guess Apple is the new Microsoft!

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Iceland thinks long and hard over extreme smut web ban law

ukgnome
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Devil

Who decides that its "violent internet porn"

Does this mean that they will have a department for violent internet porn?

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