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* Posts by ukgnome

1313 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Clink! Terrorist jailed for refusing to tell police his encryption password

ukgnome
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Trollface

That's why my passwords are 123ABC!"£

No one will ever crack them!

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Microsoft confirms: Staff inboxes hijacked amid 'Syrian army' cyber-blitz

ukgnome
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Joke

Phishing?.....I heard that....

Someone phoned from windows claiming that the computers had a virus....

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Pint-glass-flashing FISHNAPPERS strike at Firefox daddy Mozilla

ukgnome
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Coat

Hmm sounds a bit fish flakey

Something definitely fishy.

I mean cod you believe it?

The fishnappers were probably well meaning angels, or perhaps a clown.

Of course this could be a load of pollock. Or haddock you thought of that?

*the one with the Grimsby Evening Telegraph in the pocket

**we only sing when we're fishing

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DOOMSDAY still just MINUTES AWAY: As it has been since 1947

ukgnome
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Headmaster

Re: So the problem is

I guess some scientists want us to move back into caves.

You do know that we have never actually lived in caves don't you?

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Apple coughs up 7 hours of profit to refund kids' $32.5m app spend spree

ukgnome
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In app payments, micro payments or whatever - it still equates to evil intent by the developers.

Whilst it would be nice for a second form of authentication I don't see either Google or Apple as been at blame.

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Plastic iPhone 5Cs? Nah, we'll flog India our OLD iPhone 4 models - report

ukgnome
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Trollface

"not-so-budget budget phone" 5C

Well nothing about the phone specs suggests it should be a budget phone.

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Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

ukgnome
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Why am I laughing

It's hard not too!

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Foot-loving cat burglar nicks THREE THOUSAND individual socks

ukgnome
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Re: Thank god

I swear its not all gnomes.

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Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

ukgnome
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Re: @ Dalek Dave

Well I have never actually seen people in America as I have never been there. Sure I've seen pictures and video, but they can all be faked right. In fact the more I think about it the more I am convinced that the UK is the only country and that everywhere else is just a figment of my imagination coupled with the UK propaganda machine.

Oh Fudge, I guess I am responsible for the French.....My Bad!

Now troll off!

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THOUSANDS of UK.gov Win XP PCs to face April hacker storm... including boxes at TAXMAN, NHS

ukgnome
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@Neil Alexander

"Because IT departments are lazy and rely too much on the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" mantra"

I don't think that's true, it's more often the case that the clients think they know better. Or as is happening in my organisation, a complete lack of upgrading key systems because the cost is quite staggering. It's cheaper to pay for a few more desktop technicians who can hold the hands of users as they reboot their PC.

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Samsung Nexus S beats Galaxy S III – at detecting GAMMA RAYS

ukgnome
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I will find this very useful when I try to find the best radioactive source.

Soon my quest for super powers will be complete.

What's that? Samsung are the best detectors!!!!

Hard Pass on that one!

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Use strong passwords and install antivirus, mmkay? UK.gov pushes awareness campaign

ukgnome
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I don't mind education on this

I just hope the government heed their own advice. Although I doubt it.

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Blasphemy! Finns trample over Windows Phone home screen

ukgnome
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Re: Sorta looks like....

I never knew that WHSmith made operating systems, mobile or otherwise.

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Don't panic! Japan to send nuke fuel rod into MELTDOWN in Fukushima probe

ukgnome
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I hadn't thought of that - I should really withdraw my comment

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ukgnome
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Mushroom

As a smug Brit living on the east coast of the UK can I just say....

Please stop, I plan to visit California this year, and I don't want to be all glowy or dead because of it.

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Didn't get a Nook for Xmas? That's OK, hardly anyone else did, either

ukgnome
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That it's time to buy a Zune????

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Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

ukgnome
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WTF?

Things I have learned so far today,

when you disarm a lady that has just produced a gun from her miffy the ideal place to stash the gun is a toilet.

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Never mind bungled Universal Credit rollout, Maude wants UK to be 'most digital' gov by 2015

ukgnome
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Why oh why oh why

Don't the government put out a survey asking us lot, the great IT crowd about what is and what isn't a great idea for a .Gov IT project.

Everyone from drone to sys admin can get involved to tell these barmy bureaucrats just what the pitfalls will be. I would happily give 30 mins to a survey if it saved the image of IT workers.

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EE and Voda subscribers to get 2G and 3G INSIDE the Channel Tunnel

ukgnome
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Re: How about on UK train lines?!

Well all the main stations that I use now have 4G access ahead of the official date of 4G in that area. Although the pretty bits in-between don't. Not that I am expecting them to get 4G soon either, mainly because it's only sheep and pigs that live in the pretty bits.

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Spock-style gadget can SMELL my PEE! Weird gizmos of CES 2014

ukgnome
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Dammit

Now I need a 3D cake printer too!

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T-Mobile US: AT&T's mobe buyout deal is so 'desperate', we'll do it too

ukgnome
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Re: Competition

You have hit the nail on the head. I have a friend and they have a verizon deal, as it was the best deal. My friend and partner both have an iphone 5 deal with a government discount. One is an all you can eat data, whislt the other one is a capped 1GB data. They pay a total cost of $160 monthly.

Like WTF

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Boffins claim battery BREAKTHROUGH – with rhubarb-like molecule

ukgnome
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Joke

This doesn't surprise me

I always put currants in my crumble

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App to manage Android app permissions

ukgnome
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And now the walled garden looks quite appealing

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Apple: C'mon, flick on iBeacon. Let us track you. You'll get BADGES

ukgnome
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Trollface

Well at least the Fandroids are used to the tracking.

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Antarctic ice shelf melt 'lowest EVER recorded, global warming is NOT eroding it'

ukgnome
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Lewis isn't evil

Well, he might be, I don't know the chap.

However, for every person that is sceptical about climate change there is a scientist that believes that the change is due to humans.

Now, I'm not a sceptic by any means, and I do believe that we haven't helped the climates situation. But if we have the sceptics and the scientists doesn't that make for a more varied and interesting future for technology?

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Pinterest who? EU rules social network CAN'T trademark its own name

ukgnome
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Trollface

I simply have no Pinterest in this

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Snapchat: In 'theory' you could hack... Oh CRAP is that 4.6 MILLION users' details?

ukgnome
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Does this mean...

That I will start receiving random selfies

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Gift-giving gotchas: How to avoid Xmas morning EMBARRASSMENT

ukgnome
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Top Marks for advice

For delivery, I always use FedEx - if you have to pay a fee they let you know after delivery.

No need for you not too receive your goods just because Jonny Customs wants to tax the joy out of yoy

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Feuding fanbois in a flap over piracy haven in new iOS 7 jailbreak tool

ukgnome
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@ Dan 55

That is not jailbreaking, that is allowing apps from outside Play

there is a whole host of additional features that jailbreaking a phone can give you access to.

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Vodafone dodges UK corporation tax bill - AGAIN

ukgnome
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Is this the same company that bought Cable and Wireless?

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Yes, you ARE a member of a global technology elite

ukgnome
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Humans?????

What about the rest of us?

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James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

ukgnome
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Mixology

There are many benefits to shaking over stirring, depending on what you require the outcome of the drink to be. Mixing will combine both flavours into an even blend, this can be done with tea with milk for a different flavour of the same ingredient. And whilst this is subtle to most the difference can be considerable.

Stirring a drink layers the flavours in a different way, this will create noticeable differences between different cocktail makers, depending on how fast it is stirred, how long for and also what angle.

I believe what Mr Bond is in fact doing is burtonising the drink, so that it tastes the same no matter what bar he is frequenting.

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Drawers full of different chargers? The IEC has a one-plug-to-rule-them-all

ukgnome
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I used to android phone and whatever laptop of the moment

But since going fruit I have been amazed at how good there adapters for all there kit is.

It's time for the rest of the techverse to play catch up and adopt

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Facebook to BLAST the web with AUTO-PLAYING VIDEO ads

ukgnome
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OK - I totally understand the gripes, but lets not forget that you don't pay to use facebook. Do you think that servers and developers are free.

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Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

ukgnome
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Re: So...

That is my understanding - the clue is in "menacing"

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Fisher-Price in hot seat: iPad bouncy chair lets APPLE BABYSIT tots – parents

ukgnome
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Re: What is the issue?

Am I serious - Jezz assume much do you?

1, I said I have 3 children, I didn't mention the new born.

2, Babies actually learn by sight and sound, I am not suggesting they play angry birds. Last time I looked the iPad has both. As for the chair, the bouncy chair, the bouncy chair with obvious hanging rattle and things. Well I guess you must of missed that.

3, That is entirely your opinion, and you are wrong with your assumption of screen time. For instance, my 3 year old speaks conversational Spanish thanks to Dora and Diego. This was from watching the television. He also speaks a bit of French from an App. Learning isn't just a set of rigid rules. I guess you will learn that when your kids are older and you are in a corner sobbing gently.

4, Seems you are in the wrong industry, this is actually progression. Maybe you're not an early adopter and are still struggling with Windows ME. It's time to understand that perhaps Granny needs to keep up to date, sometimes it's not about what you want, but what the needs of a child wants.

And really, you would destroy the arm that has a mirror on it, just because it also holds an iPad. Who are you, 1950's Dad? Seems that you need to take a long hard look at the world and try to fit in.

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ukgnome
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What is the issue?

As a father of 3 I can't actually see an issue, both my boys 3 and 5 use my tablet for games.

An iPad is just an interactive device, it's not hooking a child up to crack cocaine.

Yes, some parents may shove them in a chair and leave them, but we are not all idiots. Some of us understand a mixed and varied selection of activities and stuff will stimulate the little sweeties.

And also, what a great way for Granny to learn about FaceTime.

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Universal Credit: £40 MILLION and counting's been spaffed up the wall on useless IT gear

ukgnome
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FAIL

FFS IDS

Did anyone at all see this coming?

Oh, what's that.......the entire readership of El Reg!

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ASA slaps down BT over 'misleading' broadband claims

ukgnome
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Bored

How many times must the same drivel be peddled by ISP

Personally I am waiting for ronseal to become an ISP, no fuss, no mess, no bother, does exactly what it says on the tin.

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Sick to death of Xmas? Try these explosive gift ideas

ukgnome
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Headmaster

Re: My Little Pony...

Sorry to be a pedant - but it was actually in the book, how to be a complete bastard, although it was Adrian Edmonson so i'll give you half an advent chocolate

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SIM-free unlocked iPhones coming to a channel near you...

ukgnome
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That's pretty much what I was thinking, there isn't any restriction or tax to pay.

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Reg man inhales the smooth, non-cancerous, taste of USB nicotine

ukgnome
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Within a week I quit tobacco altogether, within a month I was mixing my own juice, within 2 month I was modding my kit.

After 4 month I started craving some good old THC, but didn't want to roll, and as it happens I found dry vape chambers. All in all, I vape, and this is a happy smiley thing.

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Berners-Lee: 'Growing tide of surveillance' is destroying the internet

ukgnome
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Surely they don't use the internet for spying do they? I thought it was all porn and online shops.

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Apple Schill-er: 'I was shocked - SHOCKED! They went and copied the iPhone'

ukgnome
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Trollface

Speaking as a recent apple convert....

This is a sham, Google never copied Apple

Android devices are poop compared to the refined Apple user experience

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BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

ukgnome
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Yesterday I met the director of the firm I work, and I mentioned that IT can be dangerous work. His words were thus, nice that I have a BOFH on site, just remember that I'm one too.

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Microsoft touts SCROOGLE merch: Hopes YOU'LL PAY to dump on rival

ukgnome
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I'm furious

These are only USA products - what about us lot in blighty

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iSpy with my little eye: Apple wants to track your every move

ukgnome
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Seems logical, why have a drone to tell you prices and events if your iShiney can do it for you

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SuperStride Me: Reg hack spends week working at 'treadmill desk'

ukgnome
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Joke

OK, I want one - this IT lark is just so pedestrian, so I might as well make like one.

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Show us your Cook: Size is everything for Apple iWatch fans, apparently

ukgnome
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Gimp

I'm a recent Apple convert and can I just say

Squeeeeelllllll!!!!!!!!!!

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El avión Buitre 2 rinde homenaje a nuestros amigos españoles

ukgnome
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Mi aerodeslizador es lleno de anguilas

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