* Posts by ukgnome

1569 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Spaceplane fan sips sweet nectar from LOHAN's copious cup

ukgnome
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Re: Nice

the 5g is used to get the yeast all excited - it would be odd if it stated add 995g to container...presumably

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ukgnome
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My mug is a virgin

And forever will it remain so.

It currently holds my torque drivers, a finger skateboard and a solid silver dolphin for a charm bracelet that I have made. I think I should probably add a pen.

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Got a spare $600k? Then an ancient Apple-1 could be yours

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Pah - That's nothing

Wow wolfetone you're kinda awesome.

I say an obvious joke and use the joke icon and you use is as a way of attacking Karen Brady.

If I grow up I want to be just like you.

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ukgnome
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Re: Re-writing history

hur hur - wang

hur hur

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ukgnome
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Joke

Pah - That's nothing

I have an original Amstrad emailer, and it's been signed by that bloke off the apprentice. At least I think it's him, the signature is a bit weird, it could say sugar, could say sucker.

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Apple patents AUTOGRAPHS. Checkmate, eBay

ukgnome
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That is the dumbest thing

Just what the actual fuck?

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'You have no right to see me NAKED!' Suddenly, everyone wakes up at the Google-EU face-off

ukgnome
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Re: Actually

beaten to it.....Paul Nemitz might be a hottie.

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Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Re: Cheap dig

Wow - bare chested horse back riding is homoerotic?

I'm disgusted! I've been masturbating to that.

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Intel: A tiny video drone? Disguised as a BRACELET? Great! Take half a million dollars!

ukgnome
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I would of thought....

Whisper quiet take off, flight and landing would of been more impressive. AND it could circumvent drone law.

......TAXI!!!!!!!

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Would you recognise the Vans shoes logo? Neither would Euro trademark bods

ukgnome
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Re: Skate shoes?

They do in my plaice

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Me GIVE you $14 SQUILLION gadziddly-DILLION

ukgnome
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Trollface

May I suggest

a spam competition.

You set up a spam catching mailbox and we, the fine folk. (Well the fickle folk) will construct our finest lies and deceit.

I would be keen to see what spam could be should we ever step into the dark side.

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Clara goes to the dark side, with dark secrets revealed in Dark Water

ukgnome
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You tell me.....

....if you understand the half of it.

Ok pay attention - the time lords have a technology called the matrix. Yes like that one but they got there first. It's a hard drive for people's souls. The time lords use it as a repository of knowledge.

I'm not used to you write in a balanced way Brid, so you caught me off guard. I think that's the least trollish thing you have written.

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Facebook lifts Tor ban, touts encrypted onion access point

ukgnome
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Colour me cynical

but doesn't this actually mean - we have sorted out with the Feds and the NSA a way in which we can monitor and track the "anonymous" users.

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Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

ukgnome
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Unhappy

ugh

I commented yesterday that this was 1950's news, it seems some of the fine folk on the internet never received the memo.

Taking a pop at someone on the internet is dumb, be they Muslim, Gay, Black, Ginger.

Or Gay Black Ginger Muslims.

So well done trolls, once again you have highlighted your awesomeness.

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Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Welcome to the 1950's

were a persons sexuality is news!

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No nudity, please, we're GAMING: Twitch asks players to cover up

ukgnome
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Trollface

But....

What about my right to bare arms?

Shirley this is against some basic right?

etc etc

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Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth

ukgnome
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But what was the specific gravity?

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How iPad’s soft SIM lets Apple pit carriers AGAINST each other

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: let me get my crystal ball out..

"This might all back-fire on Apple. Let me string a few 'ifs' together."

Doh, silly - that would be

if if if if if if if if if

or maybe

if-if-if-if-if-if-if

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Reg hacks see the woods or the trees In the Forest of the Night

ukgnome
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Re: I'm looking forward

aagghhh again my crappy iPhone has changed my text, and as I use the app on the weekend I can only blame the app.

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ukgnome
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I'm looking forward

to El Ref's take on those other programs that has been running for 50 years or more.

Although I doubt blue peter and panorama provide the same sort of trollish link bait.

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Breaking records: Google exec in terrifying SKY PLUNGE DRAMA

ukgnome
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Playmonaut

who knew they came in human size. Lester just needs to scale up Lohan and have this chap mount her.

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Zuckerberg bombshell: Man married to Chinese woman speaks Chinese in China

ukgnome
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Presumably so he can pay no tax there as well

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Whisper tracks its users. So we tracked down its LA office. This is what happened next

ukgnome
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That's by kind of journalism

Bravo, simply bravo - although lets be honest having your HQ in venice is possibly why they never opened the door. I've been there, it's not the nicest. In fact I would go as far to say it's scummy.

If I had of known at the time about whisper and the way it uses data then I would of joined the journo. It would of made my time on the coast more appealing.

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Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

ukgnome
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Big Brother

Government sponsored

we are spying on all our users - hey it's in the T&C

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

ukgnome
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Re: I'm done with it...

I'm with you. Not only are they rubbish reviewers but I think they are possibly rubbish journalists too.

Time for the intrepid 3 to start flipping burgers for the Golden Arches. That way they might find a few taxi drivers that care for their drivel.

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

ukgnome
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Special

it takes a special type of person to carry out UAT.

I've yet to meet one.

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Careless Whisper? Anonymous messaging app accused of stalking users, blabbing to Feds

ukgnome
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This sounds like a government sponsored app that's used to collect data in an innocuous way. If that's the case then it's a clever ruse. I'm not a tin foil hat wearer but it is a bit creepy.

I have used the app when it came out and found it a bit creepy (I use a lot of social media) , there are are a lot of people using it as hook up app as well as a lot of people using as a way of posting coded messages (speculation). You just have to look at whispers Twitter feed to see some of the things they cream from the whisper feeds.

Anyone that thinks selecting Anonymous will obscure there identity is a douche, even on here the vulture knows.

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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

ukgnome
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DAF?

More like naff.

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Prehistoric swingbelly KANGAROOS were TOO FAT to jump – scientists

ukgnome
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Pint

Drunken gait?

Hop?

Oh -------------------->

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Vodafone does it in two places at once: Carrier aggregation to boost 4G

ukgnome
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Re: "Research justifies the sexy bits, so we'll ignore the bread & butter stuff"

You are indeed correct. But this isn't just a Voda issue.

I realise that it's my choice to live in the middle class village near the Norfolk Broads but I shouldn't have to stand on a raised platform waiting for a magic one bar just so I can forward my mobile to the land line.

I live in one of the flattest parts of the UK but ALL mobile providers services are totally shit.

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Right To Be Forgotten in the US: Americans wanna be like EU-oo-oo, says watchdog

ukgnome
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Trollface

Hey USA

If you wanna be more like us it's not too late to embrace the union.

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Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

ukgnome
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@Steven Davison - You're a cynic

Which is why speedtest.net rents servers around the world to respond rather than using one server.

And you can change that server to gain an accurate real world result rather than rely on the closest.

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Forget passwords, let's use SELFIES, says Obama's cyber tsar

ukgnome
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Terminator

Great Idea

Now I have a use for all those 3D printed life-size faces.

*it's best not to ask....

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Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

ukgnome
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Dear Bonio I demand a refund

I would like the retail cost of the album refunded, some cash for my time, some cash for my bandwidth used and some sausages be cause I'm hungry!

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Beers all round as Vulture 2 lands in Blighty

ukgnome
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Happy

The company post grump....

...delivered my mug straight to my desk. It will never see a beverage, but it does look the absolute tits with my screwdriver in it.

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Mobile coverage on trains really is pants

ukgnome
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Lack on investment of the railways? Surely not.

OK that's sarcasm, wouldn't it be a simple infrastructure job to place 4G masts alongside the tracks? I thought that was what "call me dave" wanted.

It would be a win for train and mobile providers alike. Decent connection means more subscribers, more subscribers mean more data used, more data used used means more cash. All from the "comfort" of a train.

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Son of Hudl: Tesco flogs new Atom-powered 8.3-inch Android tablet

ukgnome
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Re: FFS

If you contact those nice customer service types they might just let you take it back.

Shy baines get nay broth

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Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

ukgnome
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balanced view on the reg?

Has Brid taken the comments to heart as that review seems more balanced.

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

ukgnome
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FAIL

People Are Sometimes Sexy When Occasionally Robot Dancing

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EE TV: Network snubs 'Auntie's antique' for mobe-happy set-top box

ukgnome
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So is it just a tenner or a tenner monthly?

Because £10 for a 1TB drive sounds cheap.

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Dot-gay told it's NOT gay enough – but web'll be officially .eco-friendly

ukgnome
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Hmm, has El reg bagged .vulture?

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Chap runs Windows 95 on Android Wear

ukgnome
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FAIL

Re: nice

I wish I could down vote myself for the typo - I should know better to use my phone.

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ukgnome
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Re: nice

@Rabbit80

You must me new around here.

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SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

ukgnome
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Alert

Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

WOW - do all you down voters work on a helpdesk?

I find your lack of knowledge quite incredible, and some of your opinions are backward to say the least.

Apps on phones need to know what the device is doing for a start.

If it's to use any function of the phone then it needs access to them. A developer doesn't need to write a service for handling text messages when the phone OS already has that, they don't need to write a service to launch the dialler, attach photo's operate the camera etc etc.

However, I understand why some of you are scared, worried, afraid. The simple thing for you to do is grab some tin foil and fashion a hat. Maybe wrap your phone in some and think of a different career choice. I hear the golden arches are recruiting.

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ukgnome
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Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

It doesn't know who's calling you, but it does recognise when your phones in use.

This can be used for several reason, the main reason is for when you use the integrated phone feature, so that you can phone your friend from the app.

If your friend has trusted their number to FB then you can buzz them from the app.

these permissions are the same or very similar to most other messaging apps, including WhatsApp, Snapchat and Instagram.

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ukgnome
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Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

Then you need to understand how apps work.

There isn't anything sinister in the permissions.

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BT's consumer mobe network suffers tech snags – but telco denies delay claims

ukgnome
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I'm full of confidence

After the way they have handled my ongoing broadband fault.....

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Verizon punches RED button on Redbox Instant video-streaming service

ukgnome
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Re: Redbox kiosks too?

I doubt they would kill the kiosks, they are well used for movies and games - UK folk think lovefilm postal service but a vending machine instead of post.

Hopefully someone like tesco in the UK will start a kiosk service, or maybe even redbox themselves. It's needed since the death of blockbuster.

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My employer, comply with data protection law? Don't think so – say 3 in 4 office drones

ukgnome
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You can't do that

its against data protection laws.....

I'll bite, paragraph and subsection is always my reply. That's because almost everyone doesn't actually know what the DPA is. Heck, I've worked in so many environments were I need to know and I refer back to various law sites.

It comes as no surprise that most offices fail, as most people in offices learn about data protection from a business trainer that parrot fashions something that sounds similar to it.

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What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

ukgnome
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It's the IT sixth sense

I see dumb people.

You need to teach the youth Dabbers, they know such things from early on. Although to be fair the space bar on my iPhone keyboard does have space written on it.

I can imagine the glee you have when trying to explain my the return key is called so.

I worked in a typing pool, that's why I know, maybe you need to get them on a pitmans course.

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