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* Posts by ukgnome

840 posts • joined Thursday 16th June 2011 10:53 GMT

ukgnome
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It depends

What industry and what role are you planning to do/

I have never bothered with a qualification and make about 36k for a technician support role. Of course, I am quite lucky, and have proven time and time again that a degree or course does not make you a better candidate. However if I was a fresh faced noob the I would probably go for ITIL and a few of MS courses to start with.

ukgnome
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Yes you monitor all traffic, but on a certain date the malware bomb explodes then you compromise the traffic. Don't take my word for it though, the Iranians will tell you all you need to know.

ukgnome
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Devil

A nokia droid would be a market slayer - such a shame it will never happen.

ukgnome
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Re: NK is evil

Unless you extend a hand of friendship you will always be enemies. Likewise, if you never talk you will never win an argument.

ukgnome
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Pirate

It actually amazes me that any government would use kit that wasn't built by a national country. If I wanted to spy on a government then it seems the best way would be to seed their infrastructure with devices that report back.

ukgnome
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It wouldn't of been caught it it had a frikken head mounted laser!

ukgnome
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WTF?

WTF

Just WTF is that man on?

Oh, and his rantings are that bat-shit crazy that i read "extensive spook network" as extensive spork network and it still made sense.

ukgnome
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Joke

about as useful as......

I hear that they are also embedding a touch screen into a slab of chocolate. Apparently it's good for 90 seconds before you're covered in the sticky stuff.

ukgnome
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Terminator

It starts as a vomiting Larry, but next thing you know it wants your clothes, your boots and your sunglasses.

ukgnome
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Unhappy

I feel older that the prophets.

ukgnome
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And the groundhog year begins again.

If only the Mayans had been right!

ukgnome
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FAIL

It seems to be missing the commodore +4 and it's baby brother the commodore 16

ukgnome
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Wow, I was only just reading MACH1 yesterday as I was on a nostalgia fest.

As soon as Google have this perfected I will have one, as long as it includes an ad-blocker

ukgnome
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Joke

They wouldn't use an intel chip in a watch. They would use an arm.

<------icon should just say alert.

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Why not go the whole hog and microchip the jobless? Have sensors set up at every bookies and off licence. This is just another example of wasting money on a service that already exists. Truly pointless!

ukgnome
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Re: Oh no, not again

Agreed - Nokia probably has a fair wedge of patents as it was once the world leader in mobile comms. Seems only fair that they benefit from it.

ukgnome
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It's getting quite hard to avoid the tax dodgers, so it's best to ignore the bad press. They have been doing it for a while and nobody cared for an equal amount of time.

ukgnome
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Are you talking about the AR drone? It's a fantastic piece of kit, limited only by the range of your iDevices wifi http://ardrone2.parrot.com/

ukgnome
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Re: MS shoots own foot shocker

The same can be said for a lot of businesses - my client currently uses a mix of 2000, 2003 and 2007 - with 2010 coming soon.

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: Puppet or Muppet - you decide

And yet you took the time to reply, many thanks Martin

ukgnome
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If this is what happens when a patent office takes its time over a patent then imagine what it will be like when the UK takes 60 days. EEEKKK!!

ukgnome
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Re: Goole tracker

I guess they want to further themselves from Hull

ukgnome
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Joke

Puppet or Muppet - you decide

I have heard that the UK parliament has tried a similar tactic, I don't know what Dave CamMoron calls it, but we call it a Clegg.

ukgnome
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Joke

I don't see what the fuss is about

I only have email accounts so that I can spend some time in the afternoon deleting the 150 plus emails for goods and services I no longer use.

ukgnome
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Now now folks

These are stocking fillers - for people with deep pockets and fat legs!

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Microsoft the Patent troll

Not to mention the copying of the hole in the wall sealed with glass.

ukgnome
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Trollface

"Operation Hackerazzi"

What a crap ops name, at least us Brits have proper operation names. We would of called it

Operation narcissist

ukgnome
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Under UK law you are allowed to go by a pseudonym, as long as you maintain documentation of your real name.

(this used to be true and I assume this is still the case)

ukgnome
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Re: Ten minuets

Bugger and blast!

ukgnome
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Siri, I shall be home in ten minuets - please have the garage open

ten mins later...."This is your reminder to call the vet"

ukgnome
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Unhappy

Does this make Anonymous cowards?

Why would you need to be anonymous to against this group is beyond me. If I lived in the states I would happily break a few windows at the church, or to put it another way - put the church beyond economical repair.

*I use the word church in a loose meaning, as whilst it is a congregation of fucktard minded twazzocks it isn't a collection of people striving for world peace.

ukgnome
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Trollface

90 day turnaround

· launching a superfast patent processing service to deliver patents in just 90 days and a faster trade marks examination service which will deliver a full examination report in five days, instead of 10;

This is just asking to be abused

<-------because he's no ordinary troll.

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

battery life of just one hour 20 minutes,

Yeah, what I wanted for xmas was a tiny screened super power netbook that farts its last after an hour.

<-------------------can't decide between FAIL and new keyboard!

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: ops

Maybe you have an issue with your browser as it works fine for me

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

Won't somebody think of the clangers

ukgnome
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Pint

Re: No pardon ...

Hear Hear - possibly the best constructed message from an El Reg commentard.

ukgnome
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Damn!

Fair do's - missed the whole captured by the milky way bit.

ukgnome
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Re: Sigh

I was thinking north east mainly because I worked there for EDS. It has huge DWP and BT data centres. A plethora of young university types. As well as cheap housing and a Greggs on every corner. Cheaper booze and the mighty night owls presenter, the flashing blade himself - Alan Robson .

ukgnome
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Re: Map reading wife

@Wyrdness - Durham university (way before porting) - not that I was a student, but I did save her dissertation from her crappy computer.

@Lee Dowling - Mine has 2 degrees and a masters, does complicated maths and is quite handy at FPS games. She also cooks, cleans and keeps the little gnomes entertained. She is what I could only describe as geek chic. Every IT bod should have one.

ukgnome
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Joke

I bet Apple are wishing they took out a patent on complicated European tax schemes now.

ukgnome
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Re: Tiz the wrong colour of blue.

Depends on which doctors TARDIS, due to set changes and aging of props the old girl has had many a hue of blue.

I for one would love this to add to my TARDIS collection.

ukgnome
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Alien

extragalactic exoplanet

A quick search brings up http://www.gizmag.com/exoplanet-outside-galaxy/17055/

It seems that they can detect planets in other galaxies.

No one would have believed, in the years of the twenty-first century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless galaxies of space.

ukgnome
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Re: Sheeeeeeeeetttttt!!!!

That would be impossible, it has been time shifted by one second to make it appear invisible to probes.

ukgnome
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Re: Has Clegg......

No, but he has employed some better PR

ukgnome
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Mushroom

If this bill gets through I can see our fully armed anti-terrorist cops busting a bunch of chemistry graduates at a science fair.

txt scientist 1 - Can I borrow a bomb?

txt scientist 2 - Sure, what's wrong with your bomb?

txt scientist 1 - My bombs to big for the demo, i need a portable device

txt scientist 2 - I'll bring it to the demo, should be a day to remember.

ukgnome
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Sigh

Wouldn't it be better to invest this in the north east? A plethora of people that you can pay slightly less yet still be connected to major infrastructure.

Lower rent, lower wages. Surely this is a no brainier.

ukgnome
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Re: Big intake of breath

Totally agree - GPS is useful, but having a map reading wife in the car is a bloody must! She calculates alternatives better that the sat nav.

I can afford to lose or ignore the sat nav, but at my peril if I should lose or ignore the wife.

ukgnome
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Re: oh and

"Anybody else sick and tired of these self-important pre-snipes against anyone who has the nerve to not like your comment?"

Truthfully I don't care much for the red arrows or the green ones. If you all agreed with me then the world would be doomed, and if you all disagreed with me then the world would be screwed. Either way it's a steaming turd!

ukgnome
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Mushroom

I have a crap idea

Lets link all the infrastructure we can to the internet - what could possible go wrong.

And whilst we are at it, why not have unprotected USB ports on all the equipment that we haven't linked.

ukgnome
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Pint

Shone as bright as any star!

You gave us a reason to look up.

And you helped us get past that difficult level on Earthworm Jim.

You met Einstein.

And your maps helped put a man on the moon.

Truly a British gent of the highest order, a legend, one of a kind.