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* Posts by ukgnome

1313 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

ukgnome
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@ h4rm0ny

Towering thug? Threatening manner?

Not my experience at all, recently in LAX the first thing the chap said was "did you know spain is out of the cup?" this exacerbated me, as I am not a footy fan. Followed by, "you haven't said where you are staying" Once I had explained that I couldn't legitimately answer the question as my US lady friend had arranged the accommodation he just smiled, wrote with a sharpie on the form that I was staying at the airport and wished me a great time.

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Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

ukgnome
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Trollface

I am sure that TFL or rather the London black cab drivers would rather have the uber drivers parked on the flight deck

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

ukgnome
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Facepalm

My Dad - that is all

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iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

ukgnome
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vagina dialling

"'ere, some C*nt keeps prank calling me"

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London officials won't take Uber to court – because cabbies are suing the drivers anyway

ukgnome
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Re: Or they could consider joining the first part of the 21st century...

most of the transactions were under £10 and the effective commission rate was 30%???

Not these days, a terminal that plugs into your iPhone costs £60 and only charges 2.7% for any transaction.

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

ukgnome
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Not one mention of.....

1. cake

2. girls in inappropriate dress

3. occasional jaunts to very scary chemical plants

4. free coffee

Therefore, with regret I cannot join as your subby - also I have very little experience.

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Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE DNS outage

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

Re: Suspect Much ?

helicopter what? You can't see it? And you never will, until it's too late

Mwah hahahha

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Like frozen burgers, 'Bigfoot' DNA samples have a touch of horse

ukgnome
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I'm thinking it's either Scuzzlebutt or Manbearpig

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YouView loses YourView trademark fight, may have to pick new name

ukgnome
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Joke

I hear that Nasa is suing Apple - because ISS sounds a bit like iOS

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

ukgnome
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@ John Smith 19

Oh......nope, still nothing.

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ukgnome
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Trollface

Nope, Sorry!

Never heard of her, even after a google I am none the wiser.

Maybe she could use hard earned tax payers money to raise her profile.

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GCHQ to share threat intel – and declassify SECRET inventions

ukgnome
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Re: Bullshit!

And here was me thinking this had the smell of public relations and marketing. - My mistake.

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British boffin tells Obama's science advisor: You're wrong on climate change

ukgnome
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Re: Mathematician vs. a "Real" Scientist...

I thought that meteorologists were just physicists with umbrellas, and pure mathematicians were just physicists in sandals.

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The cute things they say

ukgnome
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Facepalm

University Help desk

user - my email won't work

me - yes, it's become compromised and is sending out spam

user - I didn't do it.

me - have you answered any of these (phishing) emails

user - Yes, was that wrong?

me - blah blah phishing, blah blah security, blah blah why it's dumb, trust no one etc

user - OK got it, I was dumb

me - so to get your email working I just need your credit card number and security code.

user - sure 4566 7899 9988 9287 - and security 674

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'Hashtag' added to the OED – but # isn't a hash, pound, nor number sign

ukgnome
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Trollface

Has anyone thought to.....

ask Stephen Fry?

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Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

ukgnome
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I refuse to read this

....and will simply wait 2 years until Mr Dabbs is ill.

*welcome back tecnotart

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Spaceplane design nipper Ariadne gets a promotion

ukgnome
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Sooooo........

Does this mean the Register will be opening a shop to sell this tat? How about a tat shop that gives to that there malaria charity?

Because I would have a cup, and a car sticker, a bonnet sticker wrap and also some motorcycle helmet stickers (notice I specified motorcycle)

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Soccer Football in SPAAACE! ISS 'naut nails zero-G bicycle kick

ukgnome
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regulation pitch sized?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/rules_and_equipment/4200666.stm

The length of a pitch must be between 100 yards (90m) and 130 yards (120m) and the width not less than 50 yards (45m) and not more than 100 yards (90m)

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Greenpeace rejoices after getting huge renewable powerplant CANCELLED

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Oh Lewis!

Maybe you could tell the full story rather than just the 33% you have actually written.

Sometimes I feel that you actually like the way your inbox fills up.

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Swiftkey: We just want to be free - Apple didn't bump us

ukgnome
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Unhappy

My fingers are too fat for swipe keyboards, and my accent too northern for talk to type apps.

I need a P.A.

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Frikkin' LASER BEAMS on its head: Formlabs announces Form 1+

ukgnome
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erm it's all well and good but...

Can it print me a tasty cake?

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Mobe-orists, beware: Stroking while driving could land you a £4k fine

ukgnome
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FAIL

Re: GOOD

The clue is - Dual Carriageway and Bus

I realise you were probably too busy texting your facebook or something to notice.

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Stephen Fry MADNESS: 'New domain names GENERATE NEW IP NUMBERS'

ukgnome
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I actually blogged a similar thing a couple of years ago, I like that Mt Fry likes tech, I like cricket and have very strong opinions on it. I will comment on cricket too, and sometimes I will even blog about it. This however doesn't make me a cricketer, and any cricketers out there could quite easily take some sort of trentsbridge with what I say.

Give the guy a break.

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Facial recognition tech convicts man in Chicago robbery case

ukgnome
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Re: "Zoom in just there..."

Can we get a clearer angle?

Sure, we can just pull it from that reflection!

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Look inside ELON MUSK'S CAR! Tesla S wundervehicle has voom

ukgnome
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Re: "The 125kW Superchargers work much more rapidly than the existing charging infrastructure.."

Well if a Tesla charges to full in an hour, and a leaf takes 8 to 12 hours then I would say much more rapidly.

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Fantastic fantasy four-way fling – and family-friendly fun

ukgnome
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Re: "The Peter Jackson films continue to do justice to this awesome source material"

I am so pleased I am not alone in this thought - I actually walked out of the cinema during LOTR and positively refuse to watch the hobbit. The fact that I can read the entire book during the cinema epic and still see the titles speaks volumes. The Lego game however is pure class.

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

ukgnome
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C'mon Dabbsy - you have had a week off.

Having 2 is just greedy, unless you're having a spleenectomy or summink.

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

ukgnome
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Re: interesting variety of discourse????

So what you are saying is it's OK to be an unfunny misogynist as long as no one finds out? Does this translate to any other views? I find it hard to believe that anyone would happily sit themselves in the "I'm not, but" camp.

Granted it's all a bit of a storm in a teacup, but with so many dick heads saying there is nothing wrong with it. Well that just perpetuates the myth that IT is run mainly by men that live with their mum and can't get a girlfriend. Whilst we shouldn't hang him for the stupid slide we shouldn't applaud him either.

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ukgnome
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Re: The "it's a joke" brigade have missed the point

2 Things, in the old days - blah blah blah - get with the program, we don't live in the old days, and public speaking, by very nature is public. Maybe they should hire private speakers.

It concerns me that my peer group are a bunch of unfunny misogynistic twunts.

*oh calling you all twunts so publicly is actually a joke and you shouldn't be offended.

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ukgnome
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Joke

The "it's a joke" brigade have missed the point

Firstly jokes are meant to be funny or fuelled by sarcasm or irony. This attempt is just shit.

And secondly it's not for the tech community to judge, when this went out into the twatosphere others other than tech heads will of been made aware of it. This makes me, you and loads of other people in IT look like cocks. And whilst that might be true we shouldn't advertise it, unless it's y'know big cocks and that's what the women want, or men, or sheep....

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Plucky Playmonaut bails out of smoking Vulture 2

ukgnome
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Re: Playmonaut

His name is Plucky - although that might be just his call sign.

I believe they ejected his ejector seat to make for a lighter load.

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Japanese finally produce a ROBOT which isn't DEAD INSIDE

ukgnome
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Flame

Kill it.....

Kill it with fire

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Fed-up bloke takes email spammers to court – and WINS PILE of CASH

ukgnome
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Joke

Data Directive litigation troll

Is that like a film noir troll?

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Londoners urged to cut landlines and take up wireless broadband

ukgnome
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Re: Bonkers.

It wouldn't work in my village - but then again we don't have lamp posts.

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Please be seated at your FOUR-LEGGED PC

ukgnome
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Thanks for the bootnote - although cantilevers are pretty cool.

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New iOS 8 SDK: Come in, apps. Get cozy, sip wine, swap numbers

ukgnome
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Leaky sandbox - egg timer of doom?

If you let apps out of the sandbox, even innocent apps like swype then how long before you introduce vulnerability?

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The hoarder's dilemma: 'Why can't I throw anything away?'

ukgnome
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Get well soon Dabsy.

This particular reprint lacks the frustration and anger of your more recent pieces.

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London officials declare cabbie-bothering Uber is legal – for now

ukgnome
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Coat

I heard that the Luddite Black Cab drivers are also trying to ban A to Z guides and Google Maps also.

*the one with, oh no hang on, I left it in a taxi, I will never get that back now - TAXI!

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100% driverless Wonka-wagon toy cars? Oh Google, you're having a laugh

ukgnome
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Are they hackable?

Who wouldn't want to watch the fun of a hacked noddy car terrorising a truck stop?

Sort of the chocolate factory meets maximum overdrive.

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Rich bitch sorority girls actually more likely to put out than low-class 'sluts': Study

ukgnome
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WOW

it's scientific research like this that makes creationists seem reasonable.

Can't we all just enjoy/refuse a shag without the labels?

*when I say all I don't actually want to shag any of the commentards, they work in tech and are therefore too slutty.

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Rap chap tapped for $3 BEELLION: Apple buys Dr Dre's Beats

ukgnome
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@SuccessCase

TL:DR

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Sony Xperia Z2: What we REALLY thought of this Android fondleslab

ukgnome
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erm...

it's hardly amazing for the price. Think I will stick with the ipad.

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

ukgnome
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The test cars have a plug in steering wheel and controls, apparently they can be removed once the system gets it's town car badge or summink.

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'I was trained as a spy' says Snowden

ukgnome
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In the nicest way possible - I simply don't give a frig.

He could be trained by Ronald McDonald to flip burgers for all I care. Yes, he showed the world the techniques through a prism, but in all honesty as someone else has said. ANYONE could of guessed.

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Vodafone turns to EU, asks it to FORCE 'fair' fibre pricing

ukgnome
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Re: 10mbps?

Probably not

I have just done a speed test on EE's 4G in Ipswich

and to say it's crap is an understatement - currently getting 3 mpbs on the downstream and 2 on the up

I was wondering if it's congestion, so I have carried out a test on 3G - currently getting between 2 and 4 on the downstream and between .5 and 2 on the up.

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ukgnome
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Voda repel and repulse me, they are the UKIP of phone providers.

Wanting all of the benefit with none of the commitment.

Pay your corporation tax and then we can discuss this more.

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NOT APPY: Black cab drivers enraged by Hailo as taxi tech wars rage on

ukgnome
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sworn enemies

I always though the mass transit systems were the sworn enemies of all taxi drivers.

After all it's hard to tell if the driver of a tube or bus is, how to phrase it, a UKIP voter...

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Privacy International probes GCHQ's mouse fetish

ukgnome
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Big Brother

Re: They destroyed this kit because.....

That's what they want you to think - it's all part of the conspiracy

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Look, pal, it’s YOUR password so it’s YOUR fault that it's gone AWOL

ukgnome
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No end of Sharepearean sonnets will protect me from eBay’s lead windows or a Ministry of Defence civil servant leaving his laptop in a taxi.

Is that a deliberate error? Or an open source bard?

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EBAY... You keep using that word 'ENCRYPTION' – it does not mean what you think it means

ukgnome
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FAIL

I am going to wait 3 months before commenting on this, and even then I will let the BBC do the commenting for me.

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