* Posts by ukgnome

1658 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Comet halo theory for flickering 'alien megastructure' star fails

ukgnome
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It is just as likely

That the shimmer is a result on the JMC mining ship passing past

AKA the small rouge one

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El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

ukgnome
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Drone on

What about aerial bot's?

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Russian Pastafarian wins right to bear colander

ukgnome
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Re: That's not a collander, it's just a hat.

I happen to know from other news sauces that he does have a yellow colander that he wears as his normal head gear. But it's cold in Russia so he has a hat for his hat.

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Watchdog says yes to BT's EE takeover deal. Shrugs. No 'significant' harm in it

ukgnome
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Seems that customer service

Just got worse

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Optimus Prime goes under the hammer

ukgnome
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That is not Optimus Prime!

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Brit cuffed for Kyrgyz 'horse penis' sausage quip

ukgnome
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To be certain this isn't racism I would need to see a horses penis.

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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

ukgnome
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Dear El Reg - adolescence should not be muted.

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Free Wi-Fi for the NHS, promises health secretary Jeremy Hunt

ukgnome
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Big Brother

This is how they start the thought control experiments.

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ukgnome
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Re: Your just a complainer who jumps to their keyboard

Oh dear dear patrick_bateman where or where to begin with your diatribe.

I feel a few people may judge you harshly, and I am indeed one of them. You come across as 'one of those complainers that jumps to their keyboard' ready to spew forth your crap.

You are a keyboard warrior that whilst seemingly presenting facts has managed not only to contradict themselves but also has become the person you wanted to have a go at. A free service is seldom free, and I am sure that you feel you have a valid point. But your analogy is at least as dumb as a shed full hammers. Any system that asks you to register, even with fake info is doing it for a reason. The paranoid among us will decry this is so they can track us.

Clearly you are not technically minded, but that's OK because in these times you can simply turn to the fifteen year old sat next to you in A&E who happens to be watching porn and he will explain this all to you in a series of grunts that only a true ID ten T could understand.

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EE recalls all 'Power Bar' USB batteries due to 'fire safety risk'

ukgnome
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Shocking

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EE Power Bar recall: Telco will waive £5 fee for laggards

ukgnome
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The EE power bar was one of the worst tasting nutrition supplements I have ever had.

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Donald Trump wants Bill Gates to 'close the Internet', Jeff Bezos to pay tax

ukgnome
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The scary thing

Is that a very large swathe of people buy into the Trump Extremism. As that is what he is, an extremist, a terrorist, he orchestrates chaos.

This man is dangerous, people listen to him because he lauds his extreme views with immunity to prosecution. his vitriolic hate diatribes paint a dangerous picture for the future.

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ukgnome
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Re: Is this the guy ...

No, he said that "Isn’t it interesting that the tragedy in Paris took place in one of the toughest gun control countries in the world?"

But this was about the Hebdo shootings.

It is important to differentiate between the attacks, misquoting him is as bad as him misquoting.

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BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it

ukgnome
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Re: Lotus

I still lust after a MK2 Lotus Cortina

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EE plans to block annoying ads on mobile network

ukgnome
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Does this also include annoying texts, because EE are particularly great at them.

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Irish electricity company threatens to cut off graveyard

ukgnome
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Graveyard receives leccy bill

Shocking!

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Terrorists seek to commit deadly 'cyber attacks' in UK, says Chancellor Osborne

ukgnome
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Re: Chancellor Osborne?

And you can say what you like about Palpatine, but he was not a Tory, but he was a damn fine trade negotiator.

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ukgnome
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So George Osborne is now a terrorist then?

In its broadest sense, terrorism is any act designed to cause terror, so by suggesting that IS is planning an attack is in a narrower sense, terrorism. Especially as it can be understood to feature a political objective.

This constant scaremongering is pretty pathetic, I doubt that enough zealots have the ability to hack the UK. And surely if they went down the road of hiring skilled attackers then they would presumably have to put themselves to death immediately for paying for this foreign workforce. It should also be worth pointing out that when it comes to terrorism and the UK it is not very effective. During the London bombings on 7/7 there was a range of emotions, but the resounding emotion was akin to mild ambivalence. And that will never do!

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Commentard achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

ukgnome
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Well prison and IT departments are quite similar

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Judge bins Apple Store end-of-shift shakedown lawsuit

ukgnome
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Re: I wouldn't work at a place...

Back in the 90's I would search my staff at the pub I managed.

Not because I thought they had stolen anything, but because a few of them were well fit.

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Faked NatWest, Halifax bank sites score REAL security certs

ukgnome
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Trollface

All fake sites can be found by visiting the serch engine www.groogle.com

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Facebook's UK wing paid just £4k in corporation tax last year

ukgnome
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Has anyone set up a just giving site - I feel the need to help out this ailing company.

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LOHAN chews the fat with US TV station over Spaceport's FAA-ilure

ukgnome
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FAA

Fuck All Avionics

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BT to shoot 'up to 330Mbps' G.fast into 2,000 Gosforth homes

ukgnome
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Conducted in Norfolk earlier this year, and then forgotten about.

Just like the fibre in my village.

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Playmobil cops broadside for 'racist' pirate slave

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

Won't somebody think of the children....

When I was one, I sucked my thumb, the day I went to sea

I climbed aboard a pirate ship and the captain said to me

I’m going this way that way, forwards and backwards, over the Irish Sea

A bottle of rum to fill my tum, now that’s the life for me.

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Vodafone joins calls to pry Openreach from BT's hands

ukgnome
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Sky doesn't want to add LLU to my village exchange

Vodafone don't want to pay back tax

Both companies have sour grapes because they are charged as open reach customers.

Both companies are slimier than a tupperware box full of eels.

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So, what's happening with LOHAN? Sweet FAA, that's what

ukgnome
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I don't wish to be mean Lester, as a backer I just wan't to be sure that my money is well spent. At the moment it doesn't feel that way.

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ukgnome
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FAIL

Failed like so many kickstarters.

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All in all, it's just another hit in the stalls: Roger Waters The Wall

ukgnome
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Re: "The Wall" was never the best Floyd IMHO

I think that Dave G was right to stop touring when he did.

Except he's currently touring....

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As McAfee runs for US President – we ask a crucial question: Will Reg readers back him?

ukgnome
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Tony Stark has let himself go a bit.

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BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

ukgnome
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Re: This rings too true...

The only way you can get your fizzy lager from a cellar is with a pump. The ale should go up hill nicely, but anything that requires a hit of nitro or CO2 needs a pump assist.

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Squawk, squawk: Today is Vulture Awareness Day

ukgnome
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Thank you for not mercilessly mocking me when I sent the news item in before checking El reg.

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The most tragic thing about the Ashley Madison hack? It was really 1% actual women

ukgnome
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Re: Rule 29

Meow

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Parrot drone pwned (and possibly killed) with Wi-Fi log-in

ukgnome
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Beautiful plumage

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Has anyone lost 37 dope plants, Bolton cops nonchalantly ask on Facebook

ukgnome
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Re: Does plod know?

@cornz 1

Is this the monsanto strain?

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More UK broadband for bumpkins, but have-nots still ain’t happy

ukgnome
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The main problem with rural broadband is that a lot of houses in villages connect directly to the exchange.

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BAD things happen to GOOD robots in America: hitchBot DECAPITATED

ukgnome
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Terminator

Didn't this happen to Brian?

*who says advertising doesn't work!

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BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

ukgnome
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It the dark distant past a Director after hearing the names we slung at each other if we had a name for him. Aww bless, he wanted to be one of us. The look on his face when one of the Data Control lads called him a cnut is a picture that lives with me.

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The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

ukgnome
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This is one of the best games ever on the Mega Drive.

My fondness for this whilst high as a kite and listening to slayer is only eclipsed by my love of fried bread!

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Southern biscuits and gravy

ukgnome
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Jizzy Scones!

We refer to Biscuits and Gravy as jizzy scones in my household....whilst tasty we don't have them often due to the arguments about pronunciation.

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HP slaps dress code on R&D geeks: Bin that T-shirt, put on this tie

ukgnome
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Oh look - Spider-Man T-Shirt, cargo pants, yellow dunlop hi-tops.

Then again it is friday, and that makes it naturally OK

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Happy NukeDay to you! 70 years in the shadow of the bomb post-Trinity

ukgnome
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Maybe the Reg should send a reporter to the Atomic Testing museum in Las Vegas. Truly a terrible, terrifying and informative place. Maybe it's just me, but they seem almost cocky about dropping bombs on Japan. Even though it was quite clear that the wind had gone from Japans sails.

Reading anything about the blasts and testing upsets me. Its an avenue best left well alone.

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Daisy Group seals Phoenix IT Group buy, exec set for exit

ukgnome
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I used to work for Phoenix, I am so glad that I don't now.

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Malwarebytes slurps startup, hopes to belch out Mac malware zapper

ukgnome
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This is sexist!

Where is Uncle Malware?

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IBM to offer BREAST MILK delivery-as-a-service for staff

ukgnome
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What's the betting this service is sold off in a years time and the breasts are TUPE across to new german owners?

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A quarter of public sector IT workers have never used the cloud

ukgnome
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Born from an egg on a mountain top,

Funkiest Monkey that ever popped,

He knew every magic trick under the sun,

Tease the Gods and everyone can have some fun.

Monkey magic, Monkey magic,

Monkey magic, Monkey magic,

Monkey magic, Monkey magic ooh!

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Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

ukgnome
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She flew over my village and it was very exciting seeing my boys watch it.

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Giant male member spontaneously ejaculates over Norway

ukgnome
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So is this the realization of a Richard Herring emergency question given erm flesh?

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Apple apes Microsoft with iPhone BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

ukgnome
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Re: Unicode of death

And what a jolly prank it still remains to be.

Although sending it to your wife isn't big or clever.

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