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* Posts by ukgnome

1402 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

How iPad’s soft SIM lets Apple pit carriers AGAINST each other

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: let me get my crystal ball out..

"This might all back-fire on Apple. Let me string a few 'ifs' together."

Doh, silly - that would be

if if if if if if if if if

or maybe

if-if-if-if-if-if-if

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Reg hacks see the woods or the trees In the Forest of the Night

ukgnome
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Re: I'm looking forward

aagghhh again my crappy iPhone has changed my text, and as I use the app on the weekend I can only blame the app.

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ukgnome
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I'm looking forward

to El Ref's take on those other programs that has been running for 50 years or more.

Although I doubt blue peter and panorama provide the same sort of trollish link bait.

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Breaking records: Google exec in terrifying SKY PLUNGE DRAMA

ukgnome
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Playmonaut

who knew they came in human size. Lester just needs to scale up Lohan and have this chap mount her.

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Zuckerberg bombshell: Man married to Chinese woman speaks Chinese in China

ukgnome
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Presumably so he can pay no tax there as well

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Whisper tracks its users. So we tracked down its LA office. This is what happened next

ukgnome
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That's by kind of journalism

Bravo, simply bravo - although lets be honest having your HQ in venice is possibly why they never opened the door. I've been there, it's not the nicest. In fact I would go as far to say it's scummy.

If I had of known at the time about whisper and the way it uses data then I would of joined the journo. It would of made my time on the coast more appealing.

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Whisper chief: 'We're not infallible but strive to do right by our anonymous users'

ukgnome
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Big Brother

Government sponsored

we are spying on all our users - hey it's in the T&C

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

ukgnome
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Re: I'm done with it...

I'm with you. Not only are they rubbish reviewers but I think they are possibly rubbish journalists too.

Time for the intrepid 3 to start flipping burgers for the Golden Arches. That way they might find a few taxi drivers that care for their drivel.

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

ukgnome
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Special

it takes a special type of person to carry out UAT.

I've yet to meet one.

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Careless Whisper? Anonymous messaging app accused of stalking users, blabbing to Feds

ukgnome
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This sounds like a government sponsored app that's used to collect data in an innocuous way. If that's the case then it's a clever ruse. I'm not a tin foil hat wearer but it is a bit creepy.

I have used the app when it came out and found it a bit creepy (I use a lot of social media) , there are are a lot of people using it as hook up app as well as a lot of people using as a way of posting coded messages (speculation). You just have to look at whispers Twitter feed to see some of the things they cream from the whisper feeds.

Anyone that thinks selecting Anonymous will obscure there identity is a douche, even on here the vulture knows.

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Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

ukgnome
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DAF?

More like naff.

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Prehistoric swingbelly KANGAROOS were TOO FAT to jump – scientists

ukgnome
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Pint

Drunken gait?

Hop?

Oh -------------------->

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Vodafone does it in two places at once: Carrier aggregation to boost 4G

ukgnome
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Re: "Research justifies the sexy bits, so we'll ignore the bread & butter stuff"

You are indeed correct. But this isn't just a Voda issue.

I realise that it's my choice to live in the middle class village near the Norfolk Broads but I shouldn't have to stand on a raised platform waiting for a magic one bar just so I can forward my mobile to the land line.

I live in one of the flattest parts of the UK but ALL mobile providers services are totally shit.

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Right To Be Forgotten in the US: Americans wanna be like EU-oo-oo, says watchdog

ukgnome
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Trollface

Hey USA

If you wanna be more like us it's not too late to embrace the union.

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Virgin Media DOUBLE-PUNCHED by BSkyB AND BT over ad fibs

ukgnome
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@Steven Davison - You're a cynic

Which is why speedtest.net rents servers around the world to respond rather than using one server.

And you can change that server to gain an accurate real world result rather than rely on the closest.

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Forget passwords, let's use SELFIES, says Obama's cyber tsar

ukgnome
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Terminator

Great Idea

Now I have a use for all those 3D printed life-size faces.

*it's best not to ask....

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Bono apologises for iTunes album dump

ukgnome
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Dear Bonio I demand a refund

I would like the retail cost of the album refunded, some cash for my time, some cash for my bandwidth used and some sausages be cause I'm hungry!

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Beers all round as Vulture 2 lands in Blighty

ukgnome
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Happy

The company post grump....

...delivered my mug straight to my desk. It will never see a beverage, but it does look the absolute tits with my screwdriver in it.

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Mobile coverage on trains really is pants

ukgnome
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Lack on investment of the railways? Surely not.

OK that's sarcasm, wouldn't it be a simple infrastructure job to place 4G masts alongside the tracks? I thought that was what "call me dave" wanted.

It would be a win for train and mobile providers alike. Decent connection means more subscribers, more subscribers mean more data used, more data used used means more cash. All from the "comfort" of a train.

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Son of Hudl: Tesco flogs new Atom-powered 8.3-inch Android tablet

ukgnome
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Re: FFS

If you contact those nice customer service types they might just let you take it back.

Shy baines get nay broth

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Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

ukgnome
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balanced view on the reg?

Has Brid taken the comments to heart as that review seems more balanced.

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

ukgnome
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FAIL

People Are Sometimes Sexy When Occasionally Robot Dancing

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EE TV: Network snubs 'Auntie's antique' for mobe-happy set-top box

ukgnome
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So is it just a tenner or a tenner monthly?

Because £10 for a 1TB drive sounds cheap.

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Dot-gay told it's NOT gay enough – but web'll be officially .eco-friendly

ukgnome
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Hmm, has El reg bagged .vulture?

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Chap runs Windows 95 on Android Wear

ukgnome
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FAIL

Re: nice

I wish I could down vote myself for the typo - I should know better to use my phone.

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ukgnome
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Re: nice

@Rabbit80

You must me new around here.

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SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

ukgnome
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Alert

Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

WOW - do all you down voters work on a helpdesk?

I find your lack of knowledge quite incredible, and some of your opinions are backward to say the least.

Apps on phones need to know what the device is doing for a start.

If it's to use any function of the phone then it needs access to them. A developer doesn't need to write a service for handling text messages when the phone OS already has that, they don't need to write a service to launch the dialler, attach photo's operate the camera etc etc.

However, I understand why some of you are scared, worried, afraid. The simple thing for you to do is grab some tin foil and fashion a hat. Maybe wrap your phone in some and think of a different career choice. I hear the golden arches are recruiting.

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ukgnome
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Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

It doesn't know who's calling you, but it does recognise when your phones in use.

This can be used for several reason, the main reason is for when you use the integrated phone feature, so that you can phone your friend from the app.

If your friend has trusted their number to FB then you can buzz them from the app.

these permissions are the same or very similar to most other messaging apps, including WhatsApp, Snapchat and Instagram.

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ukgnome
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Re: How to use the Facebook Messenger app

Then you need to understand how apps work.

There isn't anything sinister in the permissions.

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BT's consumer mobe network suffers tech snags – but telco denies delay claims

ukgnome
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I'm full of confidence

After the way they have handled my ongoing broadband fault.....

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Verizon punches RED button on Redbox Instant video-streaming service

ukgnome
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Re: Redbox kiosks too?

I doubt they would kill the kiosks, they are well used for movies and games - UK folk think lovefilm postal service but a vending machine instead of post.

Hopefully someone like tesco in the UK will start a kiosk service, or maybe even redbox themselves. It's needed since the death of blockbuster.

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My employer, comply with data protection law? Don't think so – say 3 in 4 office drones

ukgnome
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You can't do that

its against data protection laws.....

I'll bite, paragraph and subsection is always my reply. That's because almost everyone doesn't actually know what the DPA is. Heck, I've worked in so many environments were I need to know and I refer back to various law sites.

It comes as no surprise that most offices fail, as most people in offices learn about data protection from a business trainer that parrot fashions something that sounds similar to it.

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What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

ukgnome
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It's the IT sixth sense

I see dumb people.

You need to teach the youth Dabbers, they know such things from early on. Although to be fair the space bar on my iPhone keyboard does have space written on it.

I can imagine the glee you have when trying to explain my the return key is called so.

I worked in a typing pool, that's why I know, maybe you need to get them on a pitmans course.

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OMG!! With nothing but MACHINE TOOLS, STEEL and PARTS you can make a GUN!!

ukgnome
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That's a well researched and written article. Occasionally Lewis does write one.....(only minor trolling)

I was having a discussion about this on line the other day. As I used to be a member of a gun club before all guns were deemed too evil. There standpoint was that bullets ripping through flesh must be terrible, and perhaps shooting the crap out of people was bad. And I agreed, my friend indeed had a point, in fact he had a quiver of them. Archery is much more fun, it doesn't make a loud bang and the poundage on his bow would cause some serious damage as it fired a pointy stick at you (through you)

The actual proportion of people with guns that shoot people is relatively small, unless you watch the news or read the papers.

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DVLA website GOES TITSUP on day paper car tax discs retire

ukgnome
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Now they have cocked this up

Is anyone wanting to use the direct debit service that starts next month?

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ukgnome
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We are currently experiencing high volumes of traffic to our online vehicle tax service

And they say the government don't have a sense of humour

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TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

ukgnome
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Re: Norwich has an apple store?

Not so, America has some great cider. For some reason though they call it hard cider. Usually when they say cider they mean apple juice.

I had a few in California and it was surprisingly refreshing, although they didn't understand putting ice in it.It was a shame I was strapped for time as I wanted to pose outside a Cupertino HQ drinking a pint of rough. Maybe next time, for some reason I would like to get moved on by security there.

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ukgnome
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Re: Norwich has an apple store?

Norwich Township is located within the County of Oxford in the heart of Southwestern Ontario.

Please tell me it has an Ipswich 40 miles away but you don't like them because they all drive tractors.

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ukgnome
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Pint

Re: WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

> Also love the Norwich register readers troop that this thread has revealed.

I may not be native, but I do have an NR13 postcode, I kinda guessed that all folk wouldn't mind the ribbing.

This isn't a lager it's a pint of Fat Cat ------------------------>

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ukgnome
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Re: WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

and cider

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-21443973

Mind blown.......again!!!!

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ukgnome
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WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

are you telling me......that.........Norwich has an apple store.......

Mind blown!

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EE coughs to BROKEN data usage metrics BLUNDER that short-changes customers

ukgnome
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>He added SMS alerts tell customers when their data allowance has hit 80 per cent usage. A second text is then sent once all that data has been gobbled.

This happened to me, well the massive missing data available did, no text or anything. Although the nice chap at EE added a wedge of free data when I phoned up and asked him where my allowance had gone. The weird thing is he didn't acknowledge an issue, and confirmed that according to his system the allowance was indeed missing.

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BENDY iPhone 6, you say? Pah, warp claims are bent out of shape: Consumer Reports

ukgnome
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Re: Headline should read "Note 3 Twice as Strong as iPhone 6"

>You can be certain that Apple will wriggle out of repairing / replacing these sub-standard efforts.

Yeah, Apple never recall products or admit issues with batteries or power buttons or anything like that, so bending would fit into this category. Except of course if you have an iPhone 5 for power buttons and batteries or a 5s for battery.

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CURSE YOU, 'streaming' music services! I want a bloody CD

ukgnome
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I am a bit late to the comments this week - is it now I shout Stupid fucking cunting bollocks?

Oh, and I use Tesco's Blinkbox for music. It downloads for off line play and I now have an eccentric mix of some of the weirdest stuff ever.

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Google hits back at 'Dear Rupert' over search dominance claims

ukgnome
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Paris Hilton

Can we have a google doodle with the OO as bOObs?

obvs ----------->

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

ukgnome
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Erm

I thought Bass did this in their Burton brewing facility, Although not to this scale.

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Pop open this iPhone 6 and see where the magic oozes from ... oh hello again, Qualcomm

ukgnome
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I know it's boring

but this could help cut down insurance fraud. Now if only we could work on fake receipts and improve bullshit detectors.

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Plucky Playmonaut parties as LOHAN hits Kickstarter goal

ukgnome
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The second thing I do in the morning is check Kickstarter.

I squealed like a girl this morning

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Damien Hirst, eat your heart out - these guys chop up TAXIS

ukgnome
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Coat

These chopped up taxi's aren't just shit

They are uber shit!

*the one with the London A to M in the pocket

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Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

ukgnome
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OK several things that I simply must vent at.

The police cannot currently catch people using mobile phones, how long has that been in force? In fact the last dick head to cut me up on my motocycle was on the phone, this was three days ago. I instantly recognised that the pillock was a police officer, he had kindly labled his car as such. He didn't like me much when I reminded him that he shouldn't be on the phone, and when he got a little bit cocky and aggressive I pointed out that all his actions are on film.

Glancing at a watch is no more distracting than glancing at the dash, spedo, odo etc.

However, I suppose it depends what's on the watch. Technically driving with a satnav stuck on your windscreen is also illegal but the old bill don't seem to care much for that.

As for IAM, I thought that was cat biscuits.

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