* Posts by ukgnome

1545 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Facebook kills pic of Mohammed weeks after Zuck's Je suis Charlie!

ukgnome
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Did Zuck actually say that it was a free speech zone?

Hahahahahahahahaha

The Douchebook network doesn't allow a picture of proud parents breastfeeding, yet gorges itself with scams, click bait, scams, annoying paid for adverts, scams and pages specialising in bigotry and hatred.

I think my sides have split and I have fallen off my chair.

Free Speech.....hahahahahahahahaha

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Google Translate MEAT GRINDER turns gay into 'faggot', 'poof', 'queen'

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Does it turn

Which is why I now have to change the ethnic toners on the xerox

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ukgnome
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Fact Hunt!

there is no translation for lesbian from English to Icelandic

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Virtual Vulture 2 swoops into Spaceport America

ukgnome
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Would it help if we all sent a nice email and some donuts to the FAA?

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

ukgnome
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Isn't this near identical to the botched EDS contract of ten or so years ago.

Hmm, that ended well didn't it.

The fact is the only way to do this properly in my opinion is a brand new system designed from the ground up, tested and tested and tested and then run parallel and then rolled out to all locations in one hit. Of course this is close to impossible, highly impractical and doomed to fail.

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Cash'n'Carrion January sale: Get in there while you can

ukgnome
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nope, you don't have any BOFH stuff so nope

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Oi, Aussie sports fans! Take that selfie stick and stick it

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Humans are dumb.

Oh I wish I could post photo's.

While visiting Stonehenge in December I noticed a German gentleman taking a picture of himself with such a device. His wife \ partner stood by and watched. Humans are dumb.

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YOU. Your women are mine. Give them to me. I want to sell them

ukgnome
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Wonky? More like wanky

When it comes down to proof it should be the person making the claim that has to prove it. It's no good saying that's ours without prooving it.

By letting "wonky" bots do the work we are failing as humans.

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

ukgnome
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Big Brother

This is tragic

in no way is this meant callous, but all the demands for the police to do more should stop and think.

Maybe if there was some sort of charter that monitors internet activity and was able to assist police better in catching these bastards.

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Dot-com is dead. Long live dot-com

ukgnome
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Damn you

and your click bait!

I was hoping the rotund Kim had demised

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Then there were 3: Another UK mobile network borged ...

ukgnome
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Cut the crap

and spell it out just how much this means the consumer will be shafted.

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Kim Dotcom flails desperately, launches chat service

ukgnome
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Is it just me?

Or does Kim Dotcom look like Dr Robotnik?

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Penguin high-flyers: Andrew Tridgell on the Linux autopilot

ukgnome
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Re: but when...?

I'm just please he didn't say bare, I'm in enough trouble at work already.

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

ukgnome
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Seems a remarkable coincidence that this occurs at the same time as the infinite monkey cage starts again on R4

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Give ALL the EU access to Netflix, says Vince Cable

ukgnome
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he doesn't get it does he?

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Spammers set their sights on WhatsApp – that's that ruined then

ukgnome
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Re: @ukgnome

That's correct, Google and Facebook don't have that data unless you let them.

Likewise they don't have your location unless you let them.

I'm not saying you would let them, but I bet you know quite a few click anything and it will all be OK types.

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ukgnome
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That's right Chris, although you do need to tell it your phone number.

*pass me my tin foil hat please.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

ukgnome
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Semi Skinned?

That's no good whatsoever - you need full fat, preferably gold top. A higher fat content is what is required.

Of course the correct thing is to squeeze limes straight into your gob hole and have the neutralising effect of citric acid help wash away those fire daemons. You could go for vinegar too, but thats just unpleasant - effect though.

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BT bemoans 'misconceived' SUPERFAST broadband regs

ukgnome
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Only if you use Configured Unified Network Testing

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Hollywood vs hackers: Vulture cracks Tinseltown keyboard cornballs

ukgnome
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@TwistUrCapBack

dammit!

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ukgnome
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Mushroom

"it's a Unix system, I know this"

Whenever there is a hack segment on a TV or film my wife usually looks at me to see how angry I am becoming. When I am close to exploding she knows that the shows researcher may of maid a few errors.

And I find it odd that you haven't included Jurassic Park.

"it's a Unix system, I know this"

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Stop viewing Facebook at work says Facebook at work on Facebook at Work

ukgnome
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Has anyone seen my fucks?

It's not important because I wouldn't give them, and this moment I simply couldn't give them.

No fucks given here

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Google UK doubles London Kings X mega-office sprawl

ukgnome
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correlation

sq units taken goes up, taxation goes down.

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Google unleashes build-it-yourself 'Ara' SLABLET phones (in Puerto Rico)

ukgnome
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Gimp

Speaking as a fanboi

If this was for sale in the UK I would have to ditch my fruit.

This is potentially the sort of innovation that the handset market needs.

*gotta take a high res macro of some pollen - there's a podule for that.

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$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

ukgnome
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Gimp

Re: OMG what if . . . .

It's OK, you can keep your child in an airtight bag - problem solved.

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ukgnome
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This appears to be a solution looking for a problem.

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Kim Jong-Un shoot-em-up Glorious Leader! yanked

ukgnome
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If your data isn't in three separate location then you have no data.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

ukgnome
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Re: Can you believe it?

But then you can't charge £85 for vehicle diagnostics

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David Cameron: I'm off to the US to get my bro Barack to ban crypto – report

ukgnome
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Flame

Utterly pointless

Doesn't this smell unconstitutional? Isn't this against human rights?

Whatever next? banning slang, talking, double seats on busses, congregations, gyms, clubs. pubs.

Fuck I could go on, you have never needed encrypted messaging to plan an attack. You can actually meet and discuss in person, or over the fucking phone. Hell, for all we know (pass me my tin foil hat) some commentards on here could be using code words to assist the ne'er-do-wells in carrying out some explosive mischief. This sort of bullshit posturing is pointless and actually detracts from sensible anti-terrorism. And why does this fucking clown want to ban something? Yep, that's right. He wants to ban something because less that 1% of people want to blow up shit and kill people.

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Apple v Ericsson: Yet ANOTHER patent war bubbles over

ukgnome
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Ericsson ???

Is that still a thing.

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DANGER: Is that 'hot babe' on Skype a sextortionist?

ukgnome
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Playmobil reconstruction please

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Cash'n'Carrion launches big January sale

ukgnome
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Just give us back the bloody BOFH stuff!

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Grand Theft Auto 1997: 'Sick, deluded and beneath contempt'

ukgnome
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Chinatown wars on iPhone is a must for anyone wanting some nostalgia.

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Icelandic brewers knock up whale 'nad beer

ukgnome
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Joke

Yummy

I like my WhAle with a panda top.

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Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS

ukgnome
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Alien

What they won't tell you is it has a hole blasted in it and burn marks on it's hull.

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This $10 phone charger will wirelessly keylog your boss

ukgnome
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Joke

That wouldn't work on me

I don't use a wireless keyboard

AND

I usually type gibberish

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You go fast, but we go 'further' and 'deeper' – Voda tells 'Speedy' EE

ukgnome
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When they can actually deliver to such remote places as the Norfolk Broads I might set off a party popper. Until then - MEH!

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Last year was utter rubbish. Thanks for being part of it!

ukgnome
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Hmm I am on to you Dabbs

That was cleverly written to put us off from the fact that you are actually responsible.

I almost fell for it and then you made the spiderman 2 quip.

That totally gave you away.

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Anonymous vows to avenge Charlie Hebdo massacre by blitzing jihadist sites

ukgnome
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Oh do me a lemon

These twats with guns are no more muslim that I am.

They do not represent the religion just like anonymous do not represent me.

This sort of tit for tat bullshit is playing into the hands of far right lunacy. It's about time people got a grip.

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World's largest ship swallows 900 MEGATINS of baked beans

ukgnome
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Pint

El Reg needs more informative articles of this nature.

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LOHAN sponsor Pulse-Eight: Supplier of hi-def TV to dogs

ukgnome
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Re: Good timing

Must be something in the water, as I too was just looking for this sort of solution.

spooky

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Snowden leaks lack context says security studies professor

ukgnome
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Re: I'm sorry but

and my cocks a kipper!

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ukgnome
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I'm sorry but

I am no longer buying into Snowden. The drip feeding of info and the like is just too convenient. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.

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Ladies and trolls: Should we make cyberbullying a crime? – Ireland

ukgnome
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We have named it Banteroll - part banter part troll

Me and Mrs Gnome chatted about this sort of thing, and when is a troll not a troll, we both agreed that there should be some retribution.

We basically arrived at this - a troll is a malicious twat except when they are trolling a friend and then it becomes banter. It's racists to say nigga even in an ironic sense if you are anything other that a black american. And then you can call anyone you like one and it's fine, because like banter it has a massive contradiction attached. Calling someone gay is fine, because gays don't actually care either way, although the person that has been called gay might but it's ok as you can claim it's banter. We couldn't agree were trolls started or were banter started, as something funny to one person (banter) is deeply offensive to another (troll). We did however decide on one thing.

Katie Hopkins is a troll and should be ignored,

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Apple's 16GB iPhones are a big fat lie, claims iOS 8 storage hog lawsuit

ukgnome
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Re: Would you be more specific.

No

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ukgnome
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Dumb

some people are dumb

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Sony-blasting Lizard Squad suspects quizzed by UK and Finnish cops

ukgnome
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Not connected but funny (well it mentions lizards)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krsj2bcnRlM

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Zuckerberg asks the public to tell him where to go in 2015

ukgnome
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How about.....

he has to continually be surrounded by breast feeding mothers so that that he's desensitised enough not to get his site mods click ban happy.

Or he has to spend a day a week in A&E looking at gore so he spends all that time recoiling in horror.

*sorry thought this was mumsnet

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Apple in 2007: Who wants a stylus? Apple in 2010: We want a stylus!

ukgnome
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Re: Err

Sorry Stuart14 but you have released this into the public domain without first filing for a patent.

Bloody amateurs!

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UK retailers in TABLET PRICE SLASH BONANZA

ukgnome
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Re: Big name no guarantee

>>now the OS burns up battery even when it's off

Have you been drinking? Read that back for me.

You've been drinking haven't you!

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