* Posts by ukgnome

1431 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

This 320-gigapixel snap of London is size of Buckingham Palace

ukgnome
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Worlds smallest car?

Tiny car or just damaged?

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ukgnome
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Re: ermm...

Looks like a fringe event - best encase it in amber.

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ukgnome
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Saw this on the ONE show last night

Truly an awesome image - can you spot the same guy twice?

He's wearing a one show T shirt and waving at the top of St Paul's

Can you spot where he is again?

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Curiosity Mars rover flashes pics of GREY drilled powder sample

ukgnome
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Coat

Oh K9, you shouldn't be snorting that

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Brit robot programmers banged up for £500,000 tax evasion

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

There goes the entrepreneurial spirit

*just as well the HMRC is effective at recovering taxes that £500,000 will surly go a long way.

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BBC: Monster cargo ship delivers '863 million tins of baked beans'

ukgnome
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Re: @ukgnome 70's Maths question of the day

Because ex-IT bod and welsh superhero told me

captain beany

The Captains Wiki page

Although according to the Heinz website the answer is actually 465 beans per standard 415g can (approx)

I guess I got my can sizes wrong

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ukgnome
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70's Maths question of the day

Each bean is approximately 0.5 cubed -

An Olympic swimming pool must be 50m x25m x2m

Therefore approximately 5 billion beans fit in the pool.

The question is how many pools would 863 million tins of baked beans fill?

I do know that there are on average 328 beans per can.

**Please show your working out in the margins

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Nature pulls ‘North Korean radioactivity’ story

ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

No - I definitely meant lower 4th - don't they teach kids Icke these days

not for the gullible

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ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

This is so typical in the conspiracy communities - A+B=X

Everyone knows that Nature is controlled by lizards from the lower fourth dimension, although I am not ruling out the Kims as humans controlled via the shadow method of imprinting. I don't believe they are true lizards like the rothchilds etc

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Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

ukgnome
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Facepalm

He was paraphrasing "Taken"

** apparently - No, I haven't seen it either

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Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Heh!

Ram Raid = the act of herding sheep illicitly

* I didn't realise that they had had another iLaunch

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ukgnome
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Depends on if the insurance company would pay out.

Pay attention @loan - just because you have insurance it doesn't mean they will pay out. Sometimes you (the business) just have to accept the risk, which in this case is fitting a door made out of glass with no protection such as roller door or automated fricken lasers.

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Apple updates iOS, does not fix passcode-bypass hack

ukgnome
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I thought these sort of exploits were on on Windows devices - still the battery life fix is great news.

Only the glaring security hole to fix, just as well apple devices don't get malware.

*checks news - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21510791

** holy smudge - I guess Apple is the new Microsoft!

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Iceland thinks long and hard over extreme smut web ban law

ukgnome
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Devil

Who decides that its "violent internet porn"

Does this mean that they will have a department for violent internet porn?

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Barclays: So sorry about LIBOR... How about some free Wi-Fi?

ukgnome
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I didn't realise they had a dating site

What? Oh Wi-Fi, I thought you said wifey

*the one with the grumble mag in the pocket

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HYPERSONIC METEOR smashes into Russia, injuring hundreds

ukgnome
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Pint

Re: Ten Tons?

Who needs the internet when you could sit back and have a Jar

<-------A Jar for Jar and his hard work :-)

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ukgnome
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Ten Tons?

How the heck can I visualise that?

I need a comparison, in buckets of fish, or Citroen AX's or summink

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Any storm in a port

ukgnome
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this is a manufacturing fault

I see what's going on here, your PC is actually upside-down.

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

ukgnome
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Get ready for rush hour

A French man must prevent a bomb exploding aboard a Renault by keeping its speed above 50 mph.

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'Bah, this Apple Shop is full of APPLES'

ukgnome
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Re: Daft name

erm no - he sells apple cider vinegar, apple juice and cider as well as other things.

He's been trading as the apple shop for quite a while, and this wrong number issue was only a problem when Apple opened there palace of glass and shiny shiny a few years ago. The cider that he sells is from the Norfolk Cider Company which has been on the go since 1987.

A better understanding of the Apple shop can be found here Here

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ukgnome
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I know of this shop

Geoff Fisher is one of the nicest bloke you will ever meet! I often visit the barns, usually pretending it's so the kiddies can stroke animals.

The truth is (and not very hidden) that I always pop to the apple store for a few bottles of the driest strongest apple juice on offer. Geoff is a genius brewer, how you can get a drink so dry is beyond me.

+1 to El Reg for promoting one of Norfolks finest

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The official iPhone actually runs Android - in Brazil

ukgnome
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Trollface

oh dear apple - boo hoo

He who trolls last trolls longest.

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Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for BUSES

ukgnome
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@James Micallef

I was thinking more like dodgems

DOUBLE YAY!

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Microsoft! Bing! must! make! Yahoo! more! money! moans! Mayer!

ukgnome
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The logical step would be ads on mobile platform.

Whilst everyone hates ads - they need to adapt to the new mangled way of doing stuff.

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Register reader Ray revs radio-controlled Raspberry Pi race rover

ukgnome
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@Ray0x6

Nice project - it beats the shnizzle out of my rather boring media dohickey

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New cunning linguist computer has got ancient tongues licked

ukgnome
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But could it transcribe a conversation between a person from Norfolk, a person from Newcastle upon Tyne and a Glaswegian?

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

ukgnome
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40 quid from popular online e-tailer

That's the real robbery!

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

ukgnome
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Re: Really Bad Tea

I had a chef in my pub that drank tea this way - he refered to it as babby tea

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ukgnome
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Re: @Mostly_Harmless

Arabic style tea with a fair bit of sugar - yes, i see that as a great thing in hot climates, many Egyptians have tried to convince me to buy some dumb alabaster tut over several syrupy teas. Not my tea of choice, but great when been conned to buy a statue that you never ever wanted.

Cofftea - you sick sick puppy!

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ukgnome
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Weak high quality tea, no milk and no sugar is the future.

I used to be a strong, milk and 3 type of guy and only stumbled upon the joy of pure unadulterated tea on a visit to a foreign country. I was doing well with my pathetic attempt to speak their language until I needed to ask for milk and sugar. Now, it was only stubbornness that prevented me from asking in English, they would of understood perfectly.

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Ubuntu for Galaxy Nexus phones to arrive in February

ukgnome
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Linux

I know of several penguins that currently have an iPhone simply because they are waiting for this. Looks like I will be buying an old nexus soon, as although I am not a penguin it looks like a great concept.

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British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

ukgnome
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Alien

I can understand Warhammer having rights to 40k as well as the blue uniform that their space marines have. But laying claims to "space marines" as IP is just a bit silly.

Lets put it this way, in 1987 Warhammer created Warhammer 40K, how much of the space marine set was lifted from a 1986 film called aliens? The only difference I see is that Aliens called their space soldiers "colonial marines"

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Fed confirms but downplays Anonymous Super Bowl banker hack

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

Aww Heck!

I never suspected Beyonce as a lizard from the lower forth dimension. Damn you Ike, damn you to .......erm wherever you would consider hell - presumably a dimension that opposes the colour turquoise and feeds off concentrated misery that has been harnessed by a network of needles and obelisks.

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Review: Living with Microsoft's new Surface Pro

ukgnome
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FAIL

More expense to utilise its selling point!

So, it's an expensive heavy device with a flawed OS, and to make it a useful alternative you need to splurge more cash for a keyboard.

Surly this is madness

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BIS, bash, bosh: El Reg solves BlackBerry 10 email bafflement

ukgnome
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@ Barry Rueger

Shutter click? that's a deal maker for you?

Quite an easy hack to turn it off on your nexus

how is the BB to use in cold or wet conditions?

Depends on the model, but if it has a touch screen, well it would be as bad as your droid.

And, dare I say it, Twitter, Facebook, Google+..

It can do them, just as well \ badly as the other smart phones

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Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

ukgnome
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catonaut

We salute you!

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Ten 3D printers for this year's modellers

ukgnome
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I have no need for a 3D printer but for some strange reason I want one.

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: NO

Sign me up M.D.

** I am not familiar with flash mobs, are Molotov's mandatory?

***joke

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ukgnome
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WTF?

NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO x 1000

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Pub o' clock comes early for C&W biz customers silenced by titsup phones

ukgnome
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FAIL

Again eh?

This is not the first time this week.

The network and phone provider on site is Clueless & Witless, we have so far had major network issues affecting the south and central regions, pathetic internet access, and phone trouble.

When you get the delight of speaking to their incident desk you get the same old runaround (minus Mike Reid) They ask for the destination IP address no matter what the fault (seemingly) I now give them 98.129.229.154.

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Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

ukgnome
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Unhappy

Re: Follow the money?

You would think that following an electronic trail to these bastards would be easy.

1. Infect Computer

2. Start process to pay

3. Track payment

4. Issue warrant to bank \ service provider

5. Arrest \ kill these vile wankers!

6. Nice cup of tea and a biscuit for a job well done!

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UK cookies cop changes own policy to ‘implied consent’

ukgnome
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Does this mean...

that El Reg can have implied consent? Because I get tired of the grey bar asking if I am OK with cookies.

**For the record I am OK with cookies, biscuits (except bourbons) but my preference is cake!

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Nokia tries its luck with a sub-£150 Win Phone 8: The Lumia 620

ukgnome
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Not Bad

the OS is quite good on a phone, and hopefully they have Nokia's build quality.

I reckon they might flog a few of these to the people that usually buy a cheap droid.

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LOHAN teases with quick flash of spaceplane

ukgnome
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Awesome - in remindes me of fireball xl5

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BBC: What YOU spent on our lawyers in Secret Climate 28 debacle

ukgnome
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BBC is not BBC worldwide

The BBC has many faces - it has the Auntie Beeb that serves the UK and doesn't make any money (honest) and it has BBC worldwide, which is funded by other countries and networks and things.

Now as far as I understand the Auntie Beeb own BBC worldwide, which should mean that we own a small part of it. However, we in the UK are not allowed to view BBC worldwide content because it is a separate money making venture.

In a nutshell, the BBC is no different to the like of Amazon or Tesco

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Forget cupcakes: What you find on Facebook and Twitter is TARTS

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

At first I was surprised when I stumbled upon #twitterafterdark and thought that maybe twitter needs to put an "I'm 18" button to view certain profiles. I have now adjusted my view and feel that twitter is the exception due to how it works.

Facebook on the other hand is a different beast, facebook is more about families for a lot of people, and I am sure that my niece doesn't need to see things that are "liked" spring up on her news feed.

Won't somebody....oh whats the point? that's the daily mails job.

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Google donates 15,000 Raspberry Pis to UK schools

ukgnome
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Go

Great PR stunt

But i will only salute Google when they sponsor an academy, this may seem unfair but I believe a dedicated learning environment and adequate IT teaching will show the true potential of what children + pi can achieve.

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Always wanted a robot: why not DIY?

ukgnome
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Terminator

This is cool - BUT

The video outtakes show the robot demanding your clothes, boots and shades.

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Chinese Apple pirate Kuaiyong sets sail for rest of WORLD

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Madness

Why would you want to install an app from a non-licensed source? If you pay for an app and it turns out to be a bag of nasty then you have a large company that is culpable.

Aside from helping developers with a new product there should be no reason to use a pirated app.

This goes for all app stores, no matter if they are a fruit or a robot or a hole in the wall filled by glass.

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