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* Posts by ukgnome

1401 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Raspberry Pi-powered Tardis blasts off from 'Blighty's Baikonur'

ukgnome
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Headmaster

Shut up you incorrect pedants!

TARDIS (time and etc) was actually the name given to the vehicle by Susan

The vehicle is actually a type 40 TT capsule

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Wikileaker Bradley Manning pleads not guilty to 'aiding the enemy'

ukgnome
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Whistle blowing

Should be applauded when it proves a point, or improves things for the company involved.

This guy should be applauded not imprisoned, he showed the world what a bunch of cucking funts the american military are.

Yeah, lets all laugh and be jolly whilst we blow the crap out of people that may or may not be some sort of enemy combatant.

<---a pint? hell yeah, manning deserves one.

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Air-to-ground rocket men flog top-secret mobe-crypto to Brad in accounts

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: James Bond..

Does Q improve ducks too?

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First, servers were DEEP-FRIED... now, boffins bring you WET ones

ukgnome
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This isn't the first time I have heard of this.

A chemist friend of mine that studied ad Durham University worked on something similar in his undergrad days. His PC sat in a fishtank of blue gunk

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Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

ukgnome
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There is an android weather app that uses the pressure sensor - the pressure data is uploaded to the cloud "pun intended) so that weather boffins can use the data to better detect trends etc.

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New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

ukgnome
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Dead people are anything but social, unless you call PPI phone calls social.

PPI call centre agents are dead aren't they?

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Symantec reports early Stuxnet variant first went live in 2005

ukgnome
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SYMANTEC REPORTS EARLY STUXNET VARIANT FIRST WENT LIVE IN 2005

Shouldn't that read

SYMANTEC REPORTS IT HAS BEEN INEFFECTIVE AGAINST STUXNET AND OTHER MALWARE VARIANTS SINCE 2005

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Elon Musk: 'Fudged' NYT article cost Tesla $100m

ukgnome
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I have seen all kinds of cars in a pickle - from Ferrari all the way down to Reliant.

All manner of ages and all manner of faults, and I haven' been put off buying any car because of that.

Tens of millions? Probably the amount of people that think Musk is a twazzock!

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It begins: Six-strikes copyright smackdown starts in US

ukgnome
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Devil

How can it tell that the torrent infringes copyright?

Does it download the torrent itself and then compare it to an actual film \ music file?

Because isn't reproducing any part of copyright material an offence.

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Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

ukgnome
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North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

ukgnome
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Windows

What about Beards

I couldn't live in a dictatorship if I had to shave, I haven't seen my chin for twenty years.

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You've made an app for Android, iOS, Windows - what about the user interface?

ukgnome
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@Ru Silver Bullet syndrome

It seems that Wikipedia has everything - seems they are slower and therefore penetrate less.

Ballistic? I was furious

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ukgnome
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Re: Silver Bullet syndrome

Silver bullets do exist you silly billy. Werewolves on the other (hairy) hand do not.

The reason that you haven't seen a silver bullet is probably because the vampires hoard them.

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Ancient lost continent discovered lounging on Mauritian beach

ukgnome
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"A group of geoboffins now think that further fragments of Mauritia exist below the waves"

If Ian Duncan Smith had his way that line would read A group of shelf stackers....

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Review: Britain's 4G smartphones

ukgnome
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Nope, Sorry!

Just why do you need to stream that much data to your phone? Call me a cheap skate, but I pre-fill all the content I need onto my device and then I don't need a data budget.

We have all been conned that we actually need internet on the move, just how many pictures of cats do you need to upload to facebook whilst you're on the go?

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Council IT bod in the dock for flogging scrap work PC parts

ukgnome
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HDD and memory

Well when I send for the WEEE man these are the parts I keep. They then get sent to the shredder, at least that way I don't have a data leak of any kind.

What this guy did was so dumb, on occasions like this it's best to know a waste recycler and go legitimate if you can.

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SimCity Classic

ukgnome
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I do so love the commentards that are that sure they know me that they post a response, especially the anons.

If I have said it once I will say in again and again and again and again and again and again and again until I am certain that you understand. When I want your opinion I will give it to you.

*Oops "and again"I was one too short, I simply can't leave it on an odd number, as my PC may turn to jelly.

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ukgnome
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I don't know why, but this game started an obsession, I guess it played to my slight OCD. It was a great game to start with, lost its way in a couple of sequels but the latest release looks very playable.

I might fire up my Amiga tonight for a bit of nostalgia :-)

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BOFH: Climb the corp ladder - and use your boss as a bullet shield

ukgnome
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"The second bit: you have to enhance your job title to a point that HR have no idea what you should be paid"

That must be why IBM insist that I am an engineer, and I only make the tea!

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

ukgnome
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Trollface

Hmm - who owns the patent on flexi-screens?

Oh yeah, Samsung

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This 320-gigapixel snap of London is size of Buckingham Palace

ukgnome
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Worlds smallest car?

Tiny car or just damaged?

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ukgnome
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Re: ermm...

Looks like a fringe event - best encase it in amber.

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ukgnome
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Saw this on the ONE show last night

Truly an awesome image - can you spot the same guy twice?

He's wearing a one show T shirt and waving at the top of St Paul's

Can you spot where he is again?

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Curiosity Mars rover flashes pics of GREY drilled powder sample

ukgnome
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Coat

Oh K9, you shouldn't be snorting that

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Brit robot programmers banged up for £500,000 tax evasion

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

There goes the entrepreneurial spirit

*just as well the HMRC is effective at recovering taxes that £500,000 will surly go a long way.

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BBC: Monster cargo ship delivers '863 million tins of baked beans'

ukgnome
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Re: @ukgnome 70's Maths question of the day

Because ex-IT bod and welsh superhero told me

captain beany

The Captains Wiki page

Although according to the Heinz website the answer is actually 465 beans per standard 415g can (approx)

I guess I got my can sizes wrong

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ukgnome
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70's Maths question of the day

Each bean is approximately 0.5 cubed -

An Olympic swimming pool must be 50m x25m x2m

Therefore approximately 5 billion beans fit in the pool.

The question is how many pools would 863 million tins of baked beans fill?

I do know that there are on average 328 beans per can.

**Please show your working out in the margins

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Nature pulls ‘North Korean radioactivity’ story

ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

No - I definitely meant lower 4th - don't they teach kids Icke these days

not for the gullible

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ukgnome
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Re: Conspiracy theories

This is so typical in the conspiracy communities - A+B=X

Everyone knows that Nature is controlled by lizards from the lower fourth dimension, although I am not ruling out the Kims as humans controlled via the shadow method of imprinting. I don't believe they are true lizards like the rothchilds etc

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Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

ukgnome
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Facepalm

He was paraphrasing "Taken"

** apparently - No, I haven't seen it either

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Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Heh!

Ram Raid = the act of herding sheep illicitly

* I didn't realise that they had had another iLaunch

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ukgnome
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Depends on if the insurance company would pay out.

Pay attention @loan - just because you have insurance it doesn't mean they will pay out. Sometimes you (the business) just have to accept the risk, which in this case is fitting a door made out of glass with no protection such as roller door or automated fricken lasers.

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Apple updates iOS, does not fix passcode-bypass hack

ukgnome
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I thought these sort of exploits were on on Windows devices - still the battery life fix is great news.

Only the glaring security hole to fix, just as well apple devices don't get malware.

*checks news - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21510791

** holy smudge - I guess Apple is the new Microsoft!

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Iceland thinks long and hard over extreme smut web ban law

ukgnome
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Who decides that its "violent internet porn"

Does this mean that they will have a department for violent internet porn?

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Barclays: So sorry about LIBOR... How about some free Wi-Fi?

ukgnome
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I didn't realise they had a dating site

What? Oh Wi-Fi, I thought you said wifey

*the one with the grumble mag in the pocket

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HYPERSONIC METEOR smashes into Russia, injuring hundreds

ukgnome
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Re: Ten Tons?

Who needs the internet when you could sit back and have a Jar

<-------A Jar for Jar and his hard work :-)

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ukgnome
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Ten Tons?

How the heck can I visualise that?

I need a comparison, in buckets of fish, or Citroen AX's or summink

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Any storm in a port

ukgnome
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this is a manufacturing fault

I see what's going on here, your PC is actually upside-down.

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Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

ukgnome
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Get ready for rush hour

A French man must prevent a bomb exploding aboard a Renault by keeping its speed above 50 mph.

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'Bah, this Apple Shop is full of APPLES'

ukgnome
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Re: Daft name

erm no - he sells apple cider vinegar, apple juice and cider as well as other things.

He's been trading as the apple shop for quite a while, and this wrong number issue was only a problem when Apple opened there palace of glass and shiny shiny a few years ago. The cider that he sells is from the Norfolk Cider Company which has been on the go since 1987.

A better understanding of the Apple shop can be found here Here

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ukgnome
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I know of this shop

Geoff Fisher is one of the nicest bloke you will ever meet! I often visit the barns, usually pretending it's so the kiddies can stroke animals.

The truth is (and not very hidden) that I always pop to the apple store for a few bottles of the driest strongest apple juice on offer. Geoff is a genius brewer, how you can get a drink so dry is beyond me.

+1 to El Reg for promoting one of Norfolks finest

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The official iPhone actually runs Android - in Brazil

ukgnome
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Trollface

oh dear apple - boo hoo

He who trolls last trolls longest.

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Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for BUSES

ukgnome
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@James Micallef

I was thinking more like dodgems

DOUBLE YAY!

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Microsoft! Bing! must! make! Yahoo! more! money! moans! Mayer!

ukgnome
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The logical step would be ads on mobile platform.

Whilst everyone hates ads - they need to adapt to the new mangled way of doing stuff.

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Register reader Ray revs radio-controlled Raspberry Pi race rover

ukgnome
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@Ray0x6

Nice project - it beats the shnizzle out of my rather boring media dohickey

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New cunning linguist computer has got ancient tongues licked

ukgnome
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But could it transcribe a conversation between a person from Norfolk, a person from Newcastle upon Tyne and a Glaswegian?

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Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

ukgnome
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40 quid from popular online e-tailer

That's the real robbery!

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

ukgnome
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Re: Really Bad Tea

I had a chef in my pub that drank tea this way - he refered to it as babby tea

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ukgnome
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Re: @Mostly_Harmless

Arabic style tea with a fair bit of sugar - yes, i see that as a great thing in hot climates, many Egyptians have tried to convince me to buy some dumb alabaster tut over several syrupy teas. Not my tea of choice, but great when been conned to buy a statue that you never ever wanted.

Cofftea - you sick sick puppy!

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ukgnome
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Weak high quality tea, no milk and no sugar is the future.

I used to be a strong, milk and 3 type of guy and only stumbled upon the joy of pure unadulterated tea on a visit to a foreign country. I was doing well with my pathetic attempt to speak their language until I needed to ask for milk and sugar. Now, it was only stubbornness that prevented me from asking in English, they would of understood perfectly.

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