1097 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011
It's as ugly as a ginger stepchild, not surprised it didn't sell.
Google confirmed funding for 60 UK telly producers to make YouTube clips *presumably of kittens in hats and dogs scrapping their bum along the floor.
Re: @Smudge: Well, of course, they were primitive and unsophisticated people
I agree - Avebury is far superior, you can clearly see how the alien craft were guided and eventually landed.
Everyone knows that Stonehenge is an anagram of Honest Gene.
Further proof that the Aliens are the true architects of mankind
er, maybe it's because BT infinity customers have been having a whine about it and El Reg was made aware of that fact, rather than trawling Bobs Bargain ISP forum(other shitty little forums are available) for 3 men moaning about access to goatherders.com
It could be worse, I could be sitting the wrong side of a firewall with a stupid filtering of live streams.
Oh FFS, it seems that I am.
I'm only interested if it's apple crumble.
We've been stealing from the Chinese for years, surely it's OK that they now steal back?
*I'm thinking fireworks, whisky, tartan as my top three steals
As long as you provide a link to THE REG ONLINE STANDARDS CONVERTER then I don't mind.
Although when it comes to distance can you use the simplified version of.
Closer, close, quite far, very far, a long long way.
Re: 2 things
You are indeed correct, I wouldn't deface a tribute page with sick jokes. I do find it odd that people do. I guess I was brought up and not dragged up.
And sadly no, I am still at a loss as to what the wife wants for supper.
1. This "man" is obviously a sick little fecker, with poor judgement and poor taste. No doubt he is not fully aware of the laws he is breaking, because he's an eejit. Also, he may of had his own privacy violated as someone apparently screen grabbed his tasteless wall post and posted it on the tribute page. Truly these kinds of Jeremy Kyle show fodder should just fecking do one.
2. I have an issue with facebook tribute pages. The whole idea of liking a page dedicated to cancer or whatever else I find offensive. It is meant to be social media. These pages don't make me feel particularly social. I am not saying that they should be off the web, as they do have a valid place. But i don't want to be reminded that the worlds a fecked up screwy place when I'm trying to find out what my wife wants for tea.
Zorin? I thought that was Julian Assange
Free ones of these if you land in Norwich
Trying to take down cbeebies
What utter, utter bastards!
I hope Andy, Ceri Alex and Sid have tweeted a response to this heavy handed approach. I realise that not everyone like Mr Tumble but denying kids access to Rastamouse is pretty dread!
Can you get a UPS for a fridge?
Why do I
Suddenly want to build a drone that can fly over the English channel?
*oh yeah, I have remembered. RC aircraft are difficult to track on RADAR and seem ideal for smuggling. Granted, it couldn't lift immigrants so people trafficking is out. But I reckon it bring other things.
I am only hoping that
He was a live time line at the conference.
Just how many 8===D ~ ~ can one man take
No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
A customer enters an apple store.
Mr. Balmer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
The blue shirt does not respond.)
Mr. Balmer: 'Ello, Miss?
Blue Shirt: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Balmer: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Blue Shirt : We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Balmer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Steve Jobs what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Blue Shirt: Oh yes, the, uh, the Apple CEO...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Balmer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Blue Shirt: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Balmer: Look, matey, I know a dead Steve Jobs when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Blue Shirt: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bloke, the Apple CEo, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Balmer: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Blue Shirt: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Balmer: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at Siri) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(Blue Shirt hits the cage)
Blue Shirt: There, he moved!
Mr. Balmer: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Blue Shirt: I never!!
Mr. Balmer: Yes, you did!
Blue Shirt: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Balmer: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes iPhone5 out of the cage and thumps its on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Balmer: Now that's what I call a dead CEO.
Blue Shirt: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Blue Shirt: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! CEO's stun easily, major.
Mr. Balmer: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That CEOis definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged patent dispute.
Blue Shirt: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for Cupertino.
Mr. Balmer: PININ' for CUPERTINO!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Blue Shirt: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Balmer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that CEO when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
Blue Shirt: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that CEO down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Balmer: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Blue Shirt: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Balmer: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This CEO is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CEO!!
Re: also streetview...
It only works on blurred faces though
Re: Why aren't others doing this?
All available with android
Camera Extras - too many apps to name on the play store
City Lens - aurasma
Nokia Drive - Navigation by Google
Nokia Maps - Google Maps
Nokia Music - Spotify
Re: Proof of identity
Mongo, I have been looking for you. Please accept my friend request and click on this link www.iwillcommitfraudthankstotheslightlyimperfectwaythegovernmentisgoingtohandlethis.con
Am I the only one that wonders what the POI of the average apple genius is?
Damn, I was hoping for Robocop, or ED209 at the very least
No, they were iPhone 5 users looking for an excuse to post pointless drivel on a forum about a buffet. Perhaps you know \ are them.
Re: Saw their photos in the Telegraph
Love the fact that the restaurant behind seems to be called GOB
Re: durham had one too
I think you will find it was the undercooked eggs dripping with salmonella that actually finished it off (the first time)
1. Of course it costs more to upgrade rural areas. Anyone who has every lived in the countryside will tell you that. It's a downside for living in the countryside
2. The reason it costs more to upgrade rural areas is because the company responsible for doing the upgrades in the past hasn't done much in the way of actual upgrades. Unless of course painting a green box green every ten years and removing public phone boxes counts as upgrade. Struggling to remember the name of that company. I think it has something to do with an apiary and a produce of india.
Machine Gun Kelly?
Oh you mean "automaton shooty girls name"
*fixed it for him
**not bothered about going anon, as I aint freaked about his hood ratz and am well up for the shizzle (or some other load of shouty shouty bullshit)
Re:That hasn't stopped Hershey.
Blasphemy - peanut butter cups are food of the gods!
Did a quick search on this
And the inventor has already powered a car using this technology, for all the naysayers on here why not invent your own free energy source?
You have made my day by including my all time favourite word.
I can clock off happy
Re: I am so so sorry
Words cannot express how sorry I am.
Re: dammit typo
I simply must stop typing with my massive nose!
Re: ** Surely the other way round
You are wring (I believe)
Noodle Doodle was a person who actually went to a town with lots of straight spaghetti
He twisted it around and around and this is what you getty
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Noodle Doodle mouses!
Would Lester eat the bacon from these hogs, knowing that they are part red neck?
possible working show titles
Britains goto talent
Dragon 32 Den
Strictly code dancing
The Voice (over IP)
Since when was Marjorie Dawes a scientist?
"anyone, no, DUST!
How long before the german court tries to sue the american court?
My monies is on apple filing a patent on the process of suing a foreign court so they can counter sue both.
*we have asked the Islamic Republic for a comment but they are yet to respond.
***I have edited this several times as I did not want El Reg to suffer for my comment.
Re: Another type of pest: "HL Solicitors"
I used to use the pseudonym of Mike Hunt for these types, until that is I started receiving junk mail and even more frequent calls to the landline. At first it was funny, but now it is just annoying.
Nowadays I just let my 4YO to answer the phone. Never argue with the logic of a 4YO!
What is that sound?
Oh yeah, that's the sound of northern Britain weeping
I noticed the old app crapped out over the weekend.
Hopefully it will be well received and free from security flaws.
Re: Speaking as a vegetarian
I can't speak for them all, but it has nothing to do will the slaughter of animals for me. It's the texture and the taste. Both are something that the fake meats haven't mastered.
If it wasn't for meat eaters a lot of breeds wouldn't exist and a lot more hedgerows would be gone which in turn threatens a lot of other species - birds and insects. Eating meat is actually better for the environment than not eating meat. Just a shame I don't like it.
Speaking as a vegetarian
I'm actually quite hungry now, not hungry enough to cross to the dark side.
But bloody hell they all looked good. Such a shame that pretend vege-bacon is as appertising as cardboard
Good news all round
Currently Cleethorpes is trying to work out what to do about the expanding salt marsh there.
But if it slurps up the naughty carbon dioxide then they are fighting a losing battle if they want to get rid of it. Also it turns out to be a breeding ground for fish. Although why the folk of Grimsby want to do their breeding on the marsh is beyond me. *I may of miss read the article a bit.
Just checked out my abode on Bing and the maps is slightly newer than google. Sure it show my garden as an overgrown mass of weeds but at least the building site from 7 years ago is gone. Now if they would only do a map refresh so that I can show off my cultivated lawn and wild flower meadow.
Re: Not really
"in the same way as it is a park for cars."
According to my beat up hyundai it's not a park - no swings or slides and zero trees. No wonder my car looks disappointed when I leave it there.
Who do you believe?
PFY spreading a rumour?
Google for not suing PFY?
Asus for stating it's codswallop?
My money is on Asus - after my dealings with Google though I wouldn't believe a word they say (personal view of course)
Re: Stop skinning Android
the apps aren't unmoveable as such, as they sit in the system partition, All you need is root and they can be removed.
- Vid Hubble 'scope scans 200000 ton CHUNKY CRUMBLE ENIGMA
- Google offers up its own Googlers in cloud channel chumship trawl
- Bugger the jetpack, where's my 21st-century Psion?
- Interview Global Warming IS REAL, argues sceptic mathematician - it just isn't THERMAGEDDON
- Apple to grieving sons: NO, you cannot have access to your dead mum's iPad