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* Posts by ukgnome

1302 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

White House rejects Death Star petition: '$850qn too pricey'

ukgnome
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Pint

This is the second civil service jolly response that has been reported. Who knew the worker bees for the USA and UK were staffed with actual human beings?

I salute all the hard working comedic staffers and civil servants - have this beer on me.

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Anger grows over the death of Aaron Swartz

ukgnome
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I suggest you read this

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/jan/13/aaron-swartz-family-mit-government?INTCMP=SRCH

"The organisation Demand Progress, which Swartz helped to found, had compared the activities of which he was accused to "trying to put someone in jail for allegedly checking too many books out of the library"

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India's tough hacker crackdown: IT security leaflets with every device

ukgnome
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A leaflet campaign - brilliant, they always work (/sarc)

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Firefox for Android now runs on EVEN OLDER, slower kit

ukgnome
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It would be nice in those chaps at Google did the same with Chrome.

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Potty-mouthed Watson supercomputer needed filth filter

ukgnome
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If Watson was Hal

I'm sorry Dave, I can't fookin do that you C**t.

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5,000 UK pubs get free Wi-Fi... and they're not even all in London

ukgnome
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This is an advertisers dream

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Twitter won't unmask racist Frenchie unless US judge says so

ukgnome
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#freedomofspeech

#twitterareplonkers

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Astronaut yells FIRE ... from SPAAAACE

ukgnome
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Happy

From the headline I thought it was the ISS that was ablaze. It would of made for an interesting Stargazing Live tonight.

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'Leccy-starved Reg hack: 'How I survive on 1.5kW'

ukgnome
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Steam punk Lester?

Surely and old landrover, a jack and some for of belt system driving an electric motor could server as a generator? Sure the kids and missus will moan, but that's OK as it's only for a short while.

Alternatively, have you thought about steam? they run on fire and water and have a proven track record at electric generation.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK1P2cwEYZo

http://www.claverton-energy.com/mini-steam-power-plant-of-10-kw-with-18-hp-steam-engine-3kw-steam-power-plant-with-8-hp-steam-engine-to-run-on-renewable-energy.html

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Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

ukgnome
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Pint

A pint for both - I am now browsing Bigjigs (for my sons you understand)

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Apple may debut low-cost iPhone for emerging markets in 2013

ukgnome
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I smell a new court case

Doesn't HTC have a patent on cheaper versions of flagship phones?

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Nuisance calls DOUBLE, Ofcom vows to hunt down offenders

ukgnome
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Do these calls bug you? Then what you need is a four year old boy called James (other boys names are available)

That's the method we employ, and it is very effective, sometimes he will ask them all manner of awkward questions.

If ofcock used small children to contact these companies I am sure they will adjust their business model.

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Which qualifications are worthwhile?

ukgnome
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It depends

What industry and what role are you planning to do/

I have never bothered with a qualification and make about 36k for a technician support role. Of course, I am quite lucky, and have proven time and time again that a degree or course does not make you a better candidate. However if I was a fresh faced noob the I would probably go for ITIL and a few of MS courses to start with.

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US nuke lab drops Chinese networking kit

ukgnome
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Yes you monitor all traffic, but on a certain date the malware bomb explodes then you compromise the traffic. Don't take my word for it though, the Iranians will tell you all you need to know.

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ukgnome
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Pirate

It actually amazes me that any government would use kit that wasn't built by a national country. If I wanted to spy on a government then it seems the best way would be to seed their infrastructure with devices that report back.

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Nokia chief Elop: 'Android? Hey, anything's possible!'

ukgnome
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Devil

A nokia droid would be a market slayer - such a shame it will never happen.

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Google boss lands in North Korea for humanitarian mission

ukgnome
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Re: NK is evil

Unless you extend a hand of friendship you will always be enemies. Likewise, if you never talk you will never win an argument.

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Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

ukgnome
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It wouldn't of been caught it it had a frikken head mounted laser!

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John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

ukgnome
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WTF?

WTF

Just WTF is that man on?

Oh, and his rantings are that bat-shit crazy that i read "extensive spook network" as extensive spork network and it still made sense.

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Review: Dell XPS 12 Windows 8 tablet-cum-Ultrabook

ukgnome
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Joke

about as useful as......

I hear that they are also embedding a touch screen into a slab of chocolate. Apparently it's good for 90 seconds before you're covered in the sticky stuff.

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Brit boffins build projectile-vomiting robot to kill norovirus

ukgnome
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Terminator

It starts as a vomiting Larry, but next thing you know it wants your clothes, your boots and your sunglasses.

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Up your wormhole: Star Trek Deep Space 9 turns 20

ukgnome
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Unhappy

I feel older that the prophets.

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Samsung ordered to cough mobe sales figures to world+dog

ukgnome
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And the groundhog year begins again.

If only the Mayans had been right!

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MEGAGRAPH: 1983's UK home computer chart toppers

ukgnome
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FAIL

It seems to be missing the commodore +4 and it's baby brother the commodore 16

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Making MACH 1: Can we build a cranial computer today?

ukgnome
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Wow, I was only just reading MACH1 yesterday as I was on a nostalgia fest.

As soon as Google have this perfected I will have one, as long as it includes an ad-blocker

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

ukgnome
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Joke

They wouldn't use an intel chip in a watch. They would use an arm.

<------icon should just say alert.

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UK.gov stalks jobless online to axe work refuseniks' benefits

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Why not go the whole hog and microchip the jobless? Have sensors set up at every bookies and off licence. This is just another example of wasting money on a service that already exists. Truly pointless!

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RIM writes Nokia a fat cheque as pair bury the patent hatchet

ukgnome
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Re: Oh no, not again

Agreed - Nokia probably has a fair wedge of patents as it was once the world leader in mobile comms. Seems only fair that they benefit from it.

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Brits are so outraged by Amazon, they voted it TOP for shopping

ukgnome
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It's getting quite hard to avoid the tax dodgers, so it's best to ignore the bad press. They have been doing it for a while and nobody cared for an equal amount of time.

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Lego quad-copter: your ultimate drone nightmare

ukgnome
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Thumb Up

Are you talking about the AR drone? It's a fantastic piece of kit, limited only by the range of your iDevices wifi http://ardrone2.parrot.com/

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Outlook 2013 spurns your old Word and Excel documents

ukgnome
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Re: MS shoots own foot shocker

The same can be said for a lot of businesses - my client currently uses a mix of 2000, 2003 and 2007 - with 2010 coming soon.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: Puppet or Muppet - you decide

And yet you took the time to reply, many thanks Martin

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ukgnome
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Joke

Puppet or Muppet - you decide

I have heard that the UK parliament has tried a similar tactic, I don't know what Dave CamMoron calls it, but we call it a Clegg.

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US patent office: Nice try Apple, but pinch-to-zoom is NOT a new invention

ukgnome
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If this is what happens when a patent office takes its time over a patent then imagine what it will be like when the UK takes 60 days. EEEKKK!!

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Google, Microsoft go head to head in Santa-tracking tech race

ukgnome
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Re: Goole tracker

I guess they want to further themselves from Hull

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Microsoft 'surprised' by Google Gmail 'winter cleaning'

ukgnome
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Joke

I don't see what the fuss is about

I only have email accounts so that I can spend some time in the afternoon deleting the 150 plus emails for goods and services I no longer use.

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Ten... tech stocking stuffers

ukgnome
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Now now folks

These are stocking fillers - for people with deep pockets and fat legs!

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Microsoft to Moto: We'll give you $1m a year for your patents

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Microsoft the Patent troll

Not to mention the copying of the hole in the wall sealed with glass.

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Naked Scarlett Johansson pic snatch bloke gets 10 YEARS

ukgnome
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Trollface

"Operation Hackerazzi"

What a crap ops name, at least us Brits have proper operation names. We would of called it

Operation narcissist

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Facebook: 'No merit' to claim we broke German privacy law

ukgnome
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Under UK law you are allowed to go by a pseudonym, as long as you maintain documentation of your real name.

(this used to be true and I assume this is still the case)

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Siri: Can you make a Raspberry Pi open a garage door?

ukgnome
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Re: Ten minuets

Bugger and blast!

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ukgnome
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Siri, I shall be home in ten minuets - please have the garage open

ten mins later...."This is your reminder to call the vet"

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Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists over Sandy Hook protests

ukgnome
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Unhappy

Does this make Anonymous cowards?

Why would you need to be anonymous to against this group is beyond me. If I lived in the states I would happily break a few windows at the church, or to put it another way - put the church beyond economical repair.

*I use the word church in a loose meaning, as whilst it is a congregation of fucktard minded twazzocks it isn't a collection of people striving for world peace.

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Coming soon to a theme park near you: Shocking ANTI-PIRACY NAG ADS

ukgnome
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Trollface

90 day turnaround

· launching a superfast patent processing service to deliver patents in just 90 days and a faster trade marks examination service which will deliver a full examination report in five days, instead of 10;

This is just asking to be abused

<-------because he's no ordinary troll.

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Review: Eurocom Monster W110ER gaming netbook

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

battery life of just one hour 20 minutes,

Yeah, what I wanted for xmas was a tiny screened super power netbook that farts its last after an hour.

<-------------------can't decide between FAIL and new keyboard!

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Micro-computer bakers open Raspberry Pi shop

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: ops

Maybe you have an issue with your browser as it works fine for me

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NASA to smash its spacecraft INTO THE MOON

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

Won't somebody think of the clangers

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Stephen Hawking pushes for posthumous pardon for Alan Turing

ukgnome
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Pint

Re: No pardon ...

Hear Hear - possibly the best constructed message from an El Reg commentard.

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Boffins spot 7 ALIEN WORLDS right in our galactic backyard

ukgnome
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Damn!

Fair do's - missed the whole captured by the milky way bit.

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Silicon Roundabout £50m THING to spew 200 startups A YEAR

ukgnome
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Re: Sigh

I was thinking north east mainly because I worked there for EDS. It has huge DWP and BT data centres. A plethora of young university types. As well as cheap housing and a Greggs on every corner. Cheaper booze and the mighty night owls presenter, the flashing blade himself - Alan Robson .

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