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* Posts by ukgnome

1266 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Obama calls for study into games ‘n’ guns link

ukgnome
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It's nice to see the commentards taking this seriously.

You'll not get such frivolity from me though, as I only played cabinet games from the eighties - so far today i have delivered some newspapers, released some oil from my spy car and rescued a princess that was held hostage by a large monkey on a building site.

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Wanna really insult someone? Log off and yell it in the street - gov

ukgnome
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So where would satire fit into this - As I understand things, this is how television funnymen get around the legal wranglings.

As for my original comment, well I have tweeted her a link to this comment.

https://twitter.com/MsTeresaMay - although this may or may not be the MP judging by her bio.

"Mistress Teresa May. @MsTeresaMay. London's leading Mistress,. Domination, Bondage, Servitude, Worship, Flagellation and Financial slavery."

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ukgnome
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Trollface

So, for instance - I can't call Theresa May a stupid cow in these comments but I could confront her in the street and call her a stupid cow.

Which stupid cow is responsible for this?

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Here we go again: New NHS patient database plan sets off alarm bells

ukgnome
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Re: Beta test

I salute your suggestion +1

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Playboy fined £100k by Blighty watchdog for FLASHING SMUT at kids

ukgnome
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Re: When I were a lad

When I were a lad I was approached by a taxi driver asking if if I wanted his smut collection - I was on my morning paper round at the time and eagerly stashed the grot mags in my delivery bag.

Back then things were easier, I wouldn't be able to access this sort of filth now as I don't own a credit card.

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Viruses infect vital control systems at TWO US power stations

ukgnome
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FAIL

Don't they have sysadmins and their pesky group policies?

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NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

NRA said what!

New keyboard and a screen wipes please.

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Ex-Doctor Who babe Karen Gillan touts dodgy diet pills in twit gaffe

ukgnome
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Re: She might soon need them herself

Silly Billy - Krispy Kreme doughnuts don't actually have any calorific value, in fact each filled delight contains precisely six of your five a day. And the ring variety actually negate the aging effect.

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Amazon-bashed HMV calls in administrators, seeks buyer

ukgnome
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FAIL

If only they listened to the consumer

Although they probably couldn't hear them and "youth" music was always blaring out. And as for the layout, what a load of tosh.

It is no loss to me that this store has gone under, it was hard to tell what the customer demographic was. Was it for the youth that had no expendable income or was it for the 40 somethings? I suspect they wanted to be all things to all men but had some seriously bad advice.

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IBM brains ponder universe, say kids will go nuts for STEAMPUNK

ukgnome
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Holmes

It had better not, currently I am the only person in the building that has a bow tie and a pocket watch. If this becomes mainstream I will lose my erm appeal.

<-------that's not a pipe, it's a Smith and Hawkins synergist force insufflater.

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Smooth criminals spared the clink for hacking Sony's Jacko archive

ukgnome
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Trollface

What kind of idiot

would pay for these songs - ha ha, only kidding.

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John McAfee goes Hollywood with Warner Bros. movie deal

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Let's feed this idiots ego more

buy getting people to slap him every time he's spotted. With a bit of luck he'll go into hiding, as long as they take away this clowns computer we need never hear of this wazzock again.

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Siri, will Chrome's new speech features kill you?

ukgnome
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Trollface

If they can get it working for my Geordie and Mackem mates I will buy Google a pint.

Sadly though, I suspect they will be arguing with their devices for a long time to come.

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DoJ to Kim Dotcom: We never asked you to retain files

ukgnome
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Re: US Authorities - F**K Yeah!

Wish I could upvote you twice - Team America? Seems that Parker and Stone had hit the nail on the head.

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White House rejects Death Star petition: '$850qn too pricey'

ukgnome
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Pint

This is the second civil service jolly response that has been reported. Who knew the worker bees for the USA and UK were staffed with actual human beings?

I salute all the hard working comedic staffers and civil servants - have this beer on me.

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Anger grows over the death of Aaron Swartz

ukgnome
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I suggest you read this

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/jan/13/aaron-swartz-family-mit-government?INTCMP=SRCH

"The organisation Demand Progress, which Swartz helped to found, had compared the activities of which he was accused to "trying to put someone in jail for allegedly checking too many books out of the library"

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India's tough hacker crackdown: IT security leaflets with every device

ukgnome
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A leaflet campaign - brilliant, they always work (/sarc)

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Firefox for Android now runs on EVEN OLDER, slower kit

ukgnome
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It would be nice in those chaps at Google did the same with Chrome.

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Potty-mouthed Watson supercomputer needed filth filter

ukgnome
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If Watson was Hal

I'm sorry Dave, I can't fookin do that you C**t.

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5,000 UK pubs get free Wi-Fi... and they're not even all in London

ukgnome
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This is an advertisers dream

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Twitter won't unmask racist Frenchie unless US judge says so

ukgnome
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#freedomofspeech

#twitterareplonkers

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Astronaut yells FIRE ... from SPAAAACE

ukgnome
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Happy

From the headline I thought it was the ISS that was ablaze. It would of made for an interesting Stargazing Live tonight.

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'Leccy-starved Reg hack: 'How I survive on 1.5kW'

ukgnome
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Steam punk Lester?

Surely and old landrover, a jack and some for of belt system driving an electric motor could server as a generator? Sure the kids and missus will moan, but that's OK as it's only for a short while.

Alternatively, have you thought about steam? they run on fire and water and have a proven track record at electric generation.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK1P2cwEYZo

http://www.claverton-energy.com/mini-steam-power-plant-of-10-kw-with-18-hp-steam-engine-3kw-steam-power-plant-with-8-hp-steam-engine-to-run-on-renewable-energy.html

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Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

ukgnome
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Pint

A pint for both - I am now browsing Bigjigs (for my sons you understand)

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Apple may debut low-cost iPhone for emerging markets in 2013

ukgnome
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I smell a new court case

Doesn't HTC have a patent on cheaper versions of flagship phones?

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Nuisance calls DOUBLE, Ofcom vows to hunt down offenders

ukgnome
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Do these calls bug you? Then what you need is a four year old boy called James (other boys names are available)

That's the method we employ, and it is very effective, sometimes he will ask them all manner of awkward questions.

If ofcock used small children to contact these companies I am sure they will adjust their business model.

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Which qualifications are worthwhile?

ukgnome
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It depends

What industry and what role are you planning to do/

I have never bothered with a qualification and make about 36k for a technician support role. Of course, I am quite lucky, and have proven time and time again that a degree or course does not make you a better candidate. However if I was a fresh faced noob the I would probably go for ITIL and a few of MS courses to start with.

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US nuke lab drops Chinese networking kit

ukgnome
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Yes you monitor all traffic, but on a certain date the malware bomb explodes then you compromise the traffic. Don't take my word for it though, the Iranians will tell you all you need to know.

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ukgnome
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Pirate

It actually amazes me that any government would use kit that wasn't built by a national country. If I wanted to spy on a government then it seems the best way would be to seed their infrastructure with devices that report back.

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Nokia chief Elop: 'Android? Hey, anything's possible!'

ukgnome
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Devil

A nokia droid would be a market slayer - such a shame it will never happen.

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Google boss lands in North Korea for humanitarian mission

ukgnome
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Re: NK is evil

Unless you extend a hand of friendship you will always be enemies. Likewise, if you never talk you will never win an argument.

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Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

ukgnome
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It wouldn't of been caught it it had a frikken head mounted laser!

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John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

ukgnome
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WTF?

WTF

Just WTF is that man on?

Oh, and his rantings are that bat-shit crazy that i read "extensive spook network" as extensive spork network and it still made sense.

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Review: Dell XPS 12 Windows 8 tablet-cum-Ultrabook

ukgnome
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Joke

about as useful as......

I hear that they are also embedding a touch screen into a slab of chocolate. Apparently it's good for 90 seconds before you're covered in the sticky stuff.

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Brit boffins build projectile-vomiting robot to kill norovirus

ukgnome
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Terminator

It starts as a vomiting Larry, but next thing you know it wants your clothes, your boots and your sunglasses.

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Up your wormhole: Star Trek Deep Space 9 turns 20

ukgnome
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Unhappy

I feel older that the prophets.

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Samsung ordered to cough mobe sales figures to world+dog

ukgnome
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And the groundhog year begins again.

If only the Mayans had been right!

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MEGAGRAPH: 1983's UK home computer chart toppers

ukgnome
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FAIL

It seems to be missing the commodore +4 and it's baby brother the commodore 16

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Making MACH 1: Can we build a cranial computer today?

ukgnome
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Wow, I was only just reading MACH1 yesterday as I was on a nostalgia fest.

As soon as Google have this perfected I will have one, as long as it includes an ad-blocker

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

ukgnome
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Joke

They wouldn't use an intel chip in a watch. They would use an arm.

<------icon should just say alert.

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UK.gov stalks jobless online to axe work refuseniks' benefits

ukgnome
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Mushroom

Why not go the whole hog and microchip the jobless? Have sensors set up at every bookies and off licence. This is just another example of wasting money on a service that already exists. Truly pointless!

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RIM writes Nokia a fat cheque as pair bury the patent hatchet

ukgnome
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Re: Oh no, not again

Agreed - Nokia probably has a fair wedge of patents as it was once the world leader in mobile comms. Seems only fair that they benefit from it.

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Brits are so outraged by Amazon, they voted it TOP for shopping

ukgnome
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It's getting quite hard to avoid the tax dodgers, so it's best to ignore the bad press. They have been doing it for a while and nobody cared for an equal amount of time.

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Lego quad-copter: your ultimate drone nightmare

ukgnome
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Thumb Up

Are you talking about the AR drone? It's a fantastic piece of kit, limited only by the range of your iDevices wifi http://ardrone2.parrot.com/

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Outlook 2013 spurns your old Word and Excel documents

ukgnome
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Re: MS shoots own foot shocker

The same can be said for a lot of businesses - my client currently uses a mix of 2000, 2003 and 2007 - with 2010 coming soon.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: Puppet or Muppet - you decide

And yet you took the time to reply, many thanks Martin

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ukgnome
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Joke

Puppet or Muppet - you decide

I have heard that the UK parliament has tried a similar tactic, I don't know what Dave CamMoron calls it, but we call it a Clegg.

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US patent office: Nice try Apple, but pinch-to-zoom is NOT a new invention

ukgnome
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If this is what happens when a patent office takes its time over a patent then imagine what it will be like when the UK takes 60 days. EEEKKK!!

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Google, Microsoft go head to head in Santa-tracking tech race

ukgnome
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Re: Goole tracker

I guess they want to further themselves from Hull

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Microsoft 'surprised' by Google Gmail 'winter cleaning'

ukgnome
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Joke

I don't see what the fuss is about

I only have email accounts so that I can spend some time in the afternoon deleting the 150 plus emails for goods and services I no longer use.

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