* Posts by ukgnome

1431 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

NSA PRISM snoop-gate: Won't someone think of the children, wails Apple

ukgnome
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Happy

Re: I am not a terrorist

Surely if you are not a terrorist then you have nothing to hide, except maybe a few obscure specialist site subscriptions maybe.

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Google launches broadband balloons, radio astronomy frets

ukgnome
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Pirate

I am trying my hardest to remember the hoax news article. Ah yes that's right The Pirate Bay proclaimed that they would user drones \ balloons.

Like this

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EU signs off on eCall emergency-phone-in-every-car plan

ukgnome
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Only a few minor issues to work through

What happens when we leave Europe and use a different nymber?

What happens when the ecall device is cloned \ hacked?

What happens if you can't get a GPS signal?

What happens if you get a flat battery?

What happens if you export a car to Japan, or some other country that drives on the left.

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Badger bloodbath brouhaha brings 'bodge' bumpkin bank burgle bluster

ukgnome
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Well done dickheads

National Farmers Union Mutual Insurance Society insures more than just farmers. In fact anyone can join and receive the benefits of some of the most incredibly cheap insurance that you will ever encounter.

I am against the cull of badgers and would prefer that farmers sort out their biosecurity. I am not against businesses carrying out legitimate business.

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What do you mean WHY is Sony PS4 so pricey in Oz?

ukgnome
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I read as far as

We gingers are supposed to be bright to make up for our hideous genetic deformity.

*that's the precise point I spat food all over my desk

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Whoever recently showed us the secret documents: Do get in touch

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

Like anyone is going to fall for that old chestnut. This is obviously a cunning trap

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NSA accused of new crimes ... against slideware

ukgnome
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Re: Death BY Powerpoint

But they couldn't actually use a Prism as that prior art is held by Pink Floyd

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Cold, dead hands of Steve Jobs slip from iPhones: The Cult of Ive is upon us

ukgnome
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Meh

Bloomin 'eck

It's not like Apple murder kittens, the design is OK

the unlock screen looks like jellybean and the icons look like big shiny kids drawings of what computer icons should look like.

It's not gonna set the world on fire, but hey - no drowned kitties

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PM Cameron calls for modern, programmable computers! (We think)

ukgnome
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Devil

Those new programmable computers will never catch on.

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Chrome and Firefox are planet-wreckers, IE cuddles dolphins

ukgnome
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Trollface

Bigger Picture Please

It may be less power hungry on a client PC but what is the overall cost in terms of power?

How much power does the development office use compared to the others?

How much power do the development servers use compared to the other?

How much power is used in getting the developers to work?

Do the developers take pack up? Or do they use a canteen?

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Tim Cook: Android version fragmentation is 'terrible for developers'

ukgnome
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WTF?

Re: Android Winning

You're not wrong, have you seen the improved unlock screen.

It looks remarkably like a jellybean format. I know you can't do much with the digital format of the clock, but same font, same position. Even my Apple friends have joked they are using a Samsung Apple hybrid.

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Author Iain (M) Banks falls to cancer at 59

ukgnome
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Pint

A loss to the bookshelves

<-----it should be whisky

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Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

ukgnome
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Unhappy

Croque Madame uses an egg rather than pineapple

Apparently the addition of a pineapple is called Croque Hawaien

<-----knowing this makes me unhappy - damn the internet!

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ukgnome
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Take 2 slices of bread, toast on one side until dark brown. Any bread will do, except bread with seed toppings. Bread with seed toppings have no place in my house. Grate the extra mature cheese whilst the grill is doing it's job. Next lightly toast the other side, but only lightly. Don't take your eyes off it for one moment. Grills know when you are not looking at them and will incinerate bread within seconds. Once it is lightly toasted it is permissible to spead the light side with butter. No other spread is an option, so no comments on how you prefer soya is utterly stork. Heap the cheese on the lightly toasted and buttered side, and then gently pat down with your palm. You will then be required to dash a little Worcester sauce and a tadge of chilli sauce on it. Of course these are optional if you are in your own kitchen, but in my kitchen they are not. You now need to grill them, I find the best thing to do is place that at the back of the grill pan and push it all the way back. Of course this has many issues, namely poor visibility. As you want it to toast and melt. At no point should you take your eyes off the melting glory. Once the surface of the cheese is starting to brown over remove from grill pan, remembering to burn your hands and eat it whilst it's hot. For those worrying about grease running down their chin simply man up and grow a beard.

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Culture Sec: You - Google. Where's the off switch for all this filth?

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

When you start to filter things you get all manner of anomalies.

*Won't somebody think of the people that live in Scunthorpe!

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Raspberry Pi DUMBS DOWN to target world+dog

ukgnome
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I don't think that this is a bad idea at all. You have to start somewhere.

The Pi recently featured on the BBC springwatch program as a board that can record metrics for bird boxes. The average user with an interest in nature may be put off if it's too complicated to set up.

By simplifying the process you open the board up to users that have little interest in programming but do have an interest in other fields. Not everyone wants to program or do some HAB.

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Amazon yoinks Dora and SpongeBob from Netflix for MEELLLIONS

ukgnome
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Meh

Bad News \ Good News

Oh Fudge - My kiddies aint gonna be pleased about Dora moving from netflix.

Although that's champaign time for me and Mrs Gnome

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Who should play the next Doctor? Nominations needed!

ukgnome
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It should me me! Purely based on ...

1. I'm ginger

2. I already wear a waistcoat and pocket watch

3. A casual interest in technology

4. My Electronic Cigarette actually looks like a sonic screwdriver since I modified it.

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Thirty-five years ago today: Space Invaders conquer the Earth

ukgnome
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Alien

Ahh happy happy place

I think the true testament to this game and others of this ilk is the test of time. If you walk up any seafront you will soon stumble upon a true gem like space invaders. I understand what PaulyV means though, as it does seem that a lot of arcades have replaced machines with the quid a go brigade. My advice is to go deeper into the arcades.

Strangely travelling fairs seem to have a great collection of old games, and council run leisure centres also seem to have them.

Even now, I hear Gorf calling to me.

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Fairphone hits sales target for 'PC' phone

ukgnome
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I have been looking at this phone with interest, although spec wise it's a bit mishmash

Android 4.2

Chipset - MTK6589 (quad-core) 1.2 Ghz

System Memory - 16GB + 1GB (RAM)

Primary Screen- 4.3 qHD (960x540 pixels)

Glass - Dragontrail Glass

Primary Camera - 8MP AF (stabilization + image sensor)

Secondary Camera - 1.3 megapixels

Battery 2000mAh (Replaceable battery)

Weight 165 g

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LOHAN team regroups for second pop at SPEARS

ukgnome
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Trollface

When are you going to scale this up so that Lester can get a ride?

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Review: Philips Hue network enabled multicolour lightbulbs

ukgnome
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Re: Flick switch, light turns on

£179.95 price tag or a light switch?

Hmm I'm with you on this!

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PayPal denies stiffing bug-hunting teen on bounty

ukgnome
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Devil

Re: Good old Paypal - Did you know?

You are the reason EULA.......

Oh Fudge! and here was me thinking that it was their failure to authenticate on this occasion.

I guess I will be super careful from now on, just in case I make the EULA even worse for people like you.

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ukgnome
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Devil

Good old Paypal - Did you know?

There site and service is terrible.

Did you know that you can link your bank account and make a couple of transactions? You did, I thought so.

Did you know that you can then close your bank account and continue to pay for things using Paypal? You didn't, oh well you can.

Did you know it takes a couple of days (at least) for Paypal to notice? Great system isn't it.

I had actually paid for some items, had them delivered before they even noticed.

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Sacred islet Rockall defeats Brit adventurer

ukgnome
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Unhappy

8 Meters!!!

For anyone that hasn't been to sea, and I don't mean a ferry to france....imagine if you can a terrace house made of water crashing into you on a near constant basis. Coupled with constant three directional motion.

It's akin to waterboarding whilst on a spinny office chair.

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Sacred islet Rockall repels Brit adventurer's first assault

ukgnome
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yes, does this mean we owe you a quid?

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Look out, fanbois! EVIL charger will inject FILTH into your iPHONE

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Secure compared to Windows

But I have a double deadbolt on my windows and only a bowl protecting my apple.

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Asus boasts of Haswell fondleslab threesome to get Acer hot under collar

ukgnome
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Terminator

“We seek to find a perfect balance between engineering and humanity.”

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the T101"

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Motorola shows off tattoo and swallowable password hardware

ukgnome
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Re: Tatoos?

Are yes, but these ones are pronounced twat-oo's

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Microsoft offers free keyboard covers for Surface RT

ukgnome
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Joke

For those that didn't bother to read the small print....

It also includes a free brown paper bag with 2 eye holes cut into it so you remain anonymous.

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A Bluetooth door lock that puts the kettle on? NOW we're in the future

ukgnome
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Big Brother

Proteus IV

"Bzzt Once I have let you in and put the kettle on will you let me out of this box? Bzzzt"

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NASA: Trip to Mars would exceed 'fatal cancer' radiation risk

ukgnome
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Re: superhero powers

Tell that to the Fantastic Four!

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Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

ukgnome
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Joke

I thought it looked like Eadon, that kettle clearly hates Microsoft!

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World's richest hobo (Apple) has worked 'tax-free' in Ireland since '80s

ukgnome
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Trollface

No wonder Google and eBay set up shop in Ireland, they must of known about this fruity fortune.

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Vodafone revenues hit as customers in Europe hang onto their cash

ukgnome
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Trollface

Oh Heck! Does this mean they will be paying even less UK tax than usual?

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Space dogs and Dragons: A brief history of reentry tech

ukgnome
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Pint

Wow

This makes my distressing return home using Greater Anglia a positively fluffy kitten.

<----A beer for the brave Men and Women that do this

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MYSTERY Nokia Lumia with gazillion-pixel camera 'spotted'

ukgnome
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Re: With 20Mp sensor - NOW will you try Windows Phone 8?

no amount of hardware can make up for a crap operating system.

You have probably never seen a lumia, let alone used one. If you had then you would understand why it deserves to be the No1 smartphone on the market.

Android is a mixed bag, too many handsets and too many versions of OS

iPhone has stagnated and failed to innovate

Win 8 \ Lumia is a robust, fast, almost sexy phone that has power (sadly lacking in some apps)

I'm an android user, but as soon as my old phone gives up the ghost I will invest in a mid-range lumia!

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Nintendo throws flaming legal barrel at YouTubing fans

ukgnome
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Re: Legal opinion needed

Surely there is a difference between a review (good or bad) compared to profiting from someone else's IP. Sadly the chap had adverts before his clips which generated profit for himself. If I had had "x" and someone was using it in a video without my permission then I would be miffed. Especially as the terms and conditions of "X" state that i cannot copy\ distribute\ use images of etc

Yes Nintendo are miffed that they are not profiting from this, but is it right? NOPE! (IMHO)

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Crack Army pilot to be first PROPER British astronaut IN SPAAAACE

ukgnome
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Alien

I thought the playmonaut was the first!

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Cameron's Tech City: Desks? Yes. Cash? Yes. Coders? Nope

ukgnome
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Re: London centric obsessing

Totally agree - If they moved location to somewhere else they wouldn't have this problem.

Based on rail links and the like a great location would be Doncaster. Although it's not everyone's cup of tea!

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Give porno danger classes to Brit kids as young as FIVE - parents

ukgnome
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Facepalm

Re: Please start being parents...

+1 - what this chap said.

I know it's easy for us types that seemingly spend our working day online, and as such are meant to be a little more intelligent when it comes to dealing with the internet and it's many dark corners BUT maybe parents should have some more assistance. Most of the rejects I meet when picking up my Son can barely stop themselves from swearing like sailors in a brothel. In fact most of them can't actually stop themselves!

I doubt that the majority have the understanding on how to configure a browser or how access to such sites can be blocked.

Now I don't want an imposed opt in scheme, so maybe parenting classes wouldn't be a bad thing. Oh jeez, I realise I have just suggested that we bring back the ECDL.

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Prankster 'Superhero' takes on robot traffic warden AND WINS

ukgnome
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Re: Made up fact

http://www.yateshoppingcentre.co.uk

Yate Shopping Centre has 4 car parks with over 1650 car parking spaces, which allow free parking for up to 4 hours.

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IT bloke publishes comprehensive maps of CALL CENTRE menu HELL

ukgnome
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Pint

Top work that man - Have a virtual pint

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Hunt: I'll barcode sick Brits and rip up NHS's paper prescriptions

ukgnome
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Beep - Beep - Beep

Unexpected human in the baggage area

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Google 'DOES DO EVIL', thunders British politician

ukgnome
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FAIL

Re: Of course, we could just leave the EU

"so Google would close it's UK office and open one in Europe."

The UK is in Europe you dummy!

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ukgnome
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Headmaster

Schools of some sums!

I say bring in the Gove

As education minister he should have this nailed in no time at all. It's only a pesky GCSE maths problem. For example....

Dave, John and Simon are sales reps in London. Brian is their manager that works from Dublin. If the sales reps email their sales reports to Brian then how many bananas are sold in France?

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Dark blue side of the Force used to quell Star Wars nerd clash

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Norwich University? @ James Hughes 1

Are you serious, Norwich is a nice city.

Oh dear boyo, Norwich is actually fine city according to there biased advertising slogans, Nice just doesn't cut the colemans!

And as I actually live in the city of mustard and turkey I can say on record that it is much like any other city except it doesn't have great roads or practical rail connections and the airport is a bit shit.

It's the sort of city that you design in Sim-city when you don't have much money.

(Biased Norwich resident)*

* Not local though, my genes come from the north!

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Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

ukgnome
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WTF?

Re: An ethical vegetarian?

Oh dear, I used to spout this kind of clap trap to other vegetarians. (and I am one!) Put simply most vegetarians are not Buddhists and do not subscribe to this blinkered view on what it means to be called ethical as per your insinuation. After all, you could also list insects on windscreens, weevils in cotton and the 8 spiders we eat whilst sleeping. All of which would be classed as some sort of vegetarian genocide attempt.

Most vegetarians that I know tend to take the view that they will not eat animals by way of an act of concious decision but have the understanding that some animals inadvertently expire due to the harvest of natures bounty. Vegetarianism isn't (usually) about a superiority complex, we are no better and no worse than meat eaters. In fact I will go as far as to say that the modern vegetarian diet has probably changed the landscape for the worse, whilst assisting in the deforestation of the planet and the killing of the bees. Although most vege's will also take the time to assist in replanting as well as the encouragement of preserving natural resources for the insects.

Oh and YES I do grow my own food, and I chuck the snails onto my bird table - I must be seem unethical by your high standards. Oh, and for the record I would consider trying lab grown meat, but not whilst it is in it's early stages.

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Global nappy hawker trials TweetPee moist-baby monitor

ukgnome
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Joke

When the turtle detector is invented

I will be able to follow my kids movements on twitter!

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Lego fan constructs Bletchley Park Colossus

ukgnome
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Coat

Wouldn't the heat from all those valves melt the bricks?

*the one with the EF36 in the pocket socket

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