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* Posts by ukgnome

1269 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Pirates scoff at games dev sim's in-game piracy lesson

ukgnome
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Pirate

I used to be quite prolific in copying and cracking games and the odd OS, until that is I had an epiphany.

Put simply, I wouldn't use pirated material unless I could write the software or record and produce the music for the same or less.

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BadNews, fandroids: MILLIONS of Google Play downloads riddled with malware

ukgnome
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Fear not Fandroids - Eastern Europe is not the world

I have looked at the 32 apps that have been removed,

20 are purely in Russian, so most of us won't see them. And the other 12 don't exactly butter my bread, with such classics as "star knife, find number, stupid birds, savage knife".

I would been keen to know if any apps that I see from my play store is malware ridden. Still, this is probably not a huge issue compared to numbers of downloads globally.

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Maggie Thatcher: The Iron Lady who saved us from drab Post Office mobes

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: So very sad to see El reg delete comments

Ones man's trash is another man's treasure.

Witless walls of rabid swearing - er nope, just 3 F's - sorry that you're so sensitive.

or just rubbish - er nope, factual.

Pardon you for quality control - the reason for the icon on the left.

* I think I will take a break from the reg, you have become a parody.

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ukgnome
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So very sad to see El reg delete comments

I know thatcher wasn't everyone's cup of tea, , but with registers recent article on press freedom the deletion of negative comments is a joke!

Especially as you can't libel the deceased.

The vulture has lost it's teeth

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

MISSING LINK between HUMANS and MONKEYS FOUND

ukgnome
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Joke

Re: Missing Link between humans and monkies found

I was expecting Apple users

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The ten SEXIEST computers of ALL TIME

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

WHAT!

No Archimedes!

And the inclusion of the PS3 is laughable, as that's not even a computer in the most traditional sense.

But the Cray is sexy, very very sexy. At the same time as the cray all IBM could manage was the system 36's and towards the end of the 80's the as400 (although I do have a soft spot for the 36's).

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Android FOUND ON TABLETS inscribed with WORD OF GOD

ukgnome
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Joke

Who knew that God loves androids, although I suppose the Google mantra of Do No Evil was appealing. Although i would of thought that with all the churches money they would resurrect the psalm.

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US Navy blasts drones with ship-mounted LASER CANNON

ukgnome
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It needs a better name!

Ship's Laser Arial Precision for Human or Electronic Attack Devices

SLAPHEAD!

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Gov report: Actually, evil City traders DIDN'T cause the banking crash

ukgnome
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Trollface

How long before this changes to - Benefit scroungers caused the recession?

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Rocket boffinry in pictures: Gulp the Devil's venom and light a match

ukgnome
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@Lester

Nice article Lester, I could read about and look at pictures of rockets all day. And thanks to having two small boys at home I often do.

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Steve Jobs to supervise iPhone 6 FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

ukgnome
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Trollface

It is well known that Steve Jobs was into homoeopathy, so it's not unreasonable to state that a tiny part of Jobs is in every forthcoming device.

***If you actually believe that kind of bullshit!

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Lost CASSiE search moves up a gear

ukgnome
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Unhappy

I can't believe that little fella is out there somewhere. Hopefully some kind old lady is feeding him milk and cat food.

Come home soon little CASSiE

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IT Pro confession: How I helped in the BIGGEST DDoS OF ALL TIME

ukgnome
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This sort of article is why I continue my readership of the Reg.

A very informative article.

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MI5 undercover spies: People are falsely claiming to be us

ukgnome
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FAIL

Re: Quotes

You will never get on in these forums with an attitude like that.

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Reg man bested in geek-to-geek combat - in World War 3 nerve centre

ukgnome
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Groupon Deal

Why not bag yourself this Groupon deal http://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/norwich and take a look.

Finally a groupon that isn't totally useless.

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Pyongyang Photoshop tomfoolery shows wet Norks, skirts blown up

ukgnome
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Re: Is it me?

Rightyho, - do you see all those hovercraft?

You do, excellent, now can you see the identical hovercraft?

You can, excellent, now can see you they are totally identical?

You can't?

Maybe you need to look at this "how to" - http://www.instructables.com/id/Clone-Yourself-Using-Adobe-Photoshop/

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Wealthy London NIMBYs grit teeth, welcome 'ugly' fibre cabinets

ukgnome
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Re: Cal me thick, but...

erm....mainly because when they go wrong you would have to lower an engineer into the subterranean box. This means they would need a certificate to work in confined spaces, the boxes would be prone to flooding and may also overheat.

Essentially, cost

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Yahoo! makes Brit teen app maker VERY RICH with Summly buy

ukgnome
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Even though I am so very very jealous I am also happy that a Brit is triumphant!

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Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

ukgnome
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Devil

I thought Fry liked pedantry

Lets not suck the vultures dick on this one, El Reg, is sometimes nasty mainly funny and occasionally informative (well the bits I read) It doesn't pretend to know anything about the arts and I have a feeling it wouldn't try to. Essentially if Fry wants to wade knee deep in the tears of fallen users then he has to be prepared for a dose of heavy weight pedantry.

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Stephen Fry explains… Alan Turing's amazing computer

ukgnome
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Re: @Chris W and @Dave 126

People hang off his every word as if his view is important, but it is no more important than my view on Tesco.

We all too easily seek some sort of authorisation from celebrity and it's killing the world slowly (maybe a tad over the top) but I am sure you get the gist. His view is no more or less important than mine, simply put I don't care for his social commentary on things he knows little about. He's what we in the IT industry call a user. And the day I take advice from one of them is the day I give my BOFH cup to a PFY.

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ukgnome
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Devil

I have an issue with Fry

I love the bloke, and am enthused that he enjoys tech but he's just a bloody consumer. He doesn't work in a tech environment (judging by my companies PC of choice, neither do I)

But that is all he is, a consumer. He's no more an expert commentator on tech than I am on supermarket shopping. Although my Tesco poem is award winning. I say to combat this we all join an actors guild and muscle in on his turf.

What an arse!

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Apple: Our data centers are green. The other 98% of what we do ...

ukgnome
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Normally I am one of the first in line for a bit of Apple bashing (tech scrumping?)

But I totally salute this move, we work in the most polluting of industries so anything that can help is minimise the impact environmentally is a huge thumbs up.

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Victoria and Albert museum in narrow escape from Napalm Death

ukgnome
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Pirate

At least let them play their masterpiece - You Suffer

At just less than a second I am sure it will be fine.

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Young model ruthlessly fingers upskirt iPad petshop pervert

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Seriously? OK I'll bite

Obviously you're new here, so let me begin by greeting you "Borag Thungg, Earthlet"

You see, some of are not even human and quite possibly may already sell upskirts of our wives, not daughters though, as techies we hardly procreate as it's not the same as in the movies. Of course by movies I actually mean whichever tube we are watching. As for scumbags, we are hardly on par with Jabba the Hutt - speaking of Jabba, how's your momma?

Since the dawn of civilisation men have been trying to look at the lady garden - it's not big and it's not clever (no not your momma, actually that's factually incorrect) and is defiantly a bit creepy (yes, your momma again) Essentially the way in which you express your opinion is the same as trying to take a creep shot with an ipad. Retarded, but fun to take the piss out of (again - your momma ) - except the piss part LOL

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Boffin road trip! The Reg presents Geek's Guide to Britain

ukgnome
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Boffin

Oh you lemon tea nay-sayers

It's simply the only drink that is toxic enough to taste the same no matter what drinking vessel you choose.

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ukgnome
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This is my kind of geocaching!

WIFE! bring me my boots, my hat and a thermos of lemon tea.

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Syrian hacktivists hijack BBC Weather feed

ukgnome
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Trollface

At least when in the hands of the miscreants the weather forecast is more accurate.

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Another MYSTERY evacuation: Google UK empties swanky offices

ukgnome
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Coffee/keyboard

Go on give us a Google wave. Oh, sorry.

Funniest caption this year (so far)

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That Osbo bloke - he's on your Twitters. 'What a c**k'

ukgnome
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Trollface

helping those who want to work hard

What a stupid twat - sorry twatter. sorry tweet!

No one wants to work hard, we all want to do as little as possible for as much money as we can, Hell that's why I got into I.T.

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Is UK web speech regulated? No.10: Er. We’ll get back to you

ukgnome
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WTF?

Re: @Chris Rowland

"Given a choice between the government and the press I'd trust the government's honesty and integrity more than the press"

If it wasn't for the press we wouldn't know what a bunch of lying cheating scummers those MP types are.

Or has everyone forgotten the expenses scandal? The speeding points saga? Jeffrey Archer?

Not all people in the press are guttersnipes, yes there are some upskirt paps, and some phone bug ne'er-do-wells but there are also some highly skilled and highly trained individuals that in some circumstances put their life on the line just so that you know what is going on in the world. A choice between the government or the press, no contest the press wins, whilst they may have a small collections of naughty types they don't have as many as the government.

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ukgnome
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Re: What about forums on news related web sites?

OK - so some moderated forum comments may or may not be subject to this regulation, as it would depend on what legal definition could be argued by a lawyer. OK, I am fine with that loose definition, as I don't usually post too many insulting swipes.

However, in the past I may of posted some things that were not true and may deeply offend people (Murdoch, I'm thinking of you, you bloody weasel) Would the regulation be in force for the past comments or is everything before just fine as long as you don't do it again?

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Build a BONKERS gaming PC

ukgnome
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Angel

Dear Santa,

I have been mainly good this year, and I don't envisage been bad for the remainder of the year. What I really really want, apart from seeing Lohan achieve it's goal is a PC like what has been described in the article.

I realise my mummy might not be able to afford all the parts I need, so if you could help her out then that would be wonderful.

Merry Xmas

Ukgnome

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LOHAN hooks up with top-flight rocketeer

ukgnome
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Shackleton

Can we give him a cool rocketeer name? I'm thinking "High Seat" as his call sign!

*you do all use cool names don't you?

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BOFH: My HELPDESK HELL - lies, phones lines and statistics

ukgnome
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Ha ha ha - When I worked on a helpdesk, almost a thousand years ago we used an aspect phone system. Simply by dialling a number and hanging up I was placed at the back of the queue for available agents.

This helped maintain my call statistics for over a year. What I found more surprising is that the fellow drones had not worked this out. But then again, they were typical helpdeskers without a hint of BOFH about them.

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SimCity 4

ukgnome
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Trollface

The only thing I want to see is....

A UK mode, where traffic drives on the correct side and the population are more tolerant.

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Ten pi-fect projects for your new Raspberry Pi

ukgnome
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Pi-BX looks like a great little project.

My only obstacles to little projects are wife based.

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eBay: Our paid Google advertising was a total waste of money

ukgnome
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Trollface

I thought they dropped the B in eBay to just ebay - or is that just their logo?

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Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!

ukgnome
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Headmaster

Re: @tankboy - without us it would of crashed dear boy

Qinetiq, a tech company based in Hampshire, built the transceiver which transmits for the Mars Express the signals from the MSI through entry, descent and landing on the planet were sent via UK tech.

The high performance imaging sensors installed in Curiosity’s Chemistry and Mineralogy instrument (CheMin) and Chemistry & Camera instrument (CheCam) were designed and built by Chelmsford-based technology company e2v

And not forgetting our scientists

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ukgnome
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What next for the plucky nuke droid?

Yup, it has found wet sand, it has scoops.

Ladies, Martians and gentlemen - welcome to the 1st official Mars sandcastle contest.

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HEAVILY ARMED SEX CRAZED DOLPHINS on RAMPAGE in Black Sea

ukgnome
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Pirate

Damn

I think I'll give the beach a miss then

<----prepare for boarding indeed!

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Infinite loop: the Sinclair ZX Microdrive story

ukgnome
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Great article

I never had a speccy, but it was always obvious to me that they had style and marketing speak over their competitors. Hmm reminds me of a fruit based firm.

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Marvel: 'Come and get 'em! 700 first-issue comics! FREE!'

ukgnome
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Re: Torrents?

Not all Torrents are evil, if a company held an event like this again, then this could be an excellent delivery method. By legitimising torrents we could revolutionise media delivery or summink

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MakerBot demos 3D object scanner that fits on your desk

ukgnome
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Got a really big garden (and really poor taste)? MakerBot has your answer

Hey, why you having a dig at gnomes!

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LOHAN seeks rocketeer for explosive relationship

ukgnome
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Joke

Damn

If only it was fertiliser and sugar pipe bombs, then I'd be your man! Although i only have level one in stupidity.

**Dear anti terrorist plods - this is a joke, observe the joke icon. I do not, nor ever have built a pipe bomb. The reason that I am making this clear is because I know someone who posted something similar and was awoken from his slumber by a group of tooled up bobbies.

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Photoshop fakery exposed by fake Photoshop tool

ukgnome
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Re: @BorkedAgain

lol - gotta love auto correct!

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ukgnome
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Body dimorphism is a real problem and anything that can be done to highlight that we all have flaws is a winner.

Even better that it uses technology. Lets hope that the right people see this, otherwise this will just be a piss taking exercise.

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'Million-strong' zombie army devours Raspberry Pi's crunchy base

ukgnome
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Re: @nuke- Open Letter

I don't have that assumption, but not many people amass a million strong zombie hoard just to piss off a charity. It's a soft target and there is nothing to gain.

I forget the rates, but isn't a 100 computers something like $10 so for a million it would be $10000 although you would probably get a discount. Even if it was $1 it would still be an expensive waste of time. The only way this makes sense is if this was a demonstration of power. And even then, that only makes sense if you are a feckless twazzock botty lord!

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LIVE BLOG: Facebook News Feed revamp press conference

ukgnome
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Facebook News Feed revamp press conference?

Bitches! eat this news feed

*fixed it for you.

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'Mainframe blowout' knackered millions of RBS, NatWest accounts

ukgnome
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Trollface

It does seem odd that the auxiliary systems didn't take the load whilst the primary was out of action.

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