* Posts by ukgnome

1561 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

ukgnome
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She flew over my village and it was very exciting seeing my boys watch it.

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Giant male member spontaneously ejaculates over Norway

ukgnome
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So is this the realization of a Richard Herring emergency question given erm flesh?

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Apple apes Microsoft with iPhone BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

ukgnome
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Re: Unicode of death

And what a jolly prank it still remains to be.

Although sending it to your wife isn't big or clever.

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Apple pulls Civil War games in Confederate flag takedown

ukgnome
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Black Helicopters

Oh America

dear oh dear oh dear .......a flag, A FUCKING FLAG!

I cannot comprehend you and your dull witted ways.

Maybe, just maybe you should ....um....ban guns.

And for the American NRA idiots don't go giving me second amendment bullshit without first reading what the second amendment is. As owning a gun is not the same as forming a militia to oust the forces of the British monarch. Especially as we have already decided that you are entirely too much bother, heck even the Australians are more favorable. And they, unlike yourselves were the descendants of criminals. Granted you're the decedents of idiots, so like I say, too much bother. Of course we will still happily accept the tax you keep paying for the use of sovereign land. Like I said, idiots.

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ukgnome
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Re: The response to another mass shooting is to ban.....

to be fair, you could have someones eye out with one, if you waved it particularly roughly.

Or maybe shot it from a cannon.

It reeks of desperation doesn't it.

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Google to take another shot at a free Wi-Fi business

ukgnome
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Trollface

Norwich in 2006

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/5297884.stm

I do hope they manage quicker speeds though...

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DEATH by VEGETABLES: Woman charged with killing boyf using carrots. And peas

ukgnome
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What ever next?

Death by squirrel!

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Nasi goreng pattaya

ukgnome
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As it happens I make these for the kids, well sort of. I use baked beans, butter cooked mushrooms and chopped up vege sausages. Although when I partake myself I tend to dash in some green chili sauce and an extra grind of pepper.

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Post-pub nosh neckfillers: Reader suggestions invited

ukgnome
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Basically anything Mexican

If it can be rolled in a burrito or sandwiched in a quesadilla then its totally awesome.

I will also accept Nacho, soft taco or if I am feeling up for a balancing act then tostadita.

Of course if I trusted myself around serious hot oil then chimichanga every day of the week please and thank you.

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ukgnome
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Re: Cheesey Chips

with gravy!

Filthy filthy sorts.

The traditional recipe from the Land of the Prince Bishops demands that it is the magical garlic sauce that is used, and it must be bought from the dirty shop.

*Sadly Penis's is no longer opposite Rixy's

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Apple! and! Yahoo! fight! the! man!, claims! EFFing! daftness!

ukgnome
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Awesome! to! see! that! the! exclamation! is! still! in! use!

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Free ethical upgrade offered as Fairphone launches mobe No 2

ukgnome
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Re: Unfair phone

I can't even be bothered to supply a link, just cut and paste. And then bore off.

https://www.apple.com/uk/supplier-responsibility/labor-and-human-rights/

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The Martian: Matt Damon sciences the sh*t out of the red planet

ukgnome
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I was first introduced to Andy Weir through the Galactic Netcasts podcast called scifi geeks club when they had him on as a guest. It is totally worth a listen, the dudes awesome!

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Capita wins four out of five stars for 'good', 'inexpensive' service

ukgnome
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Link bait

With garlic and hot sauce please

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Colour me bad: Kraken time or damp squid with Splatoon

ukgnome
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Trollface

Re: Don't buy this in the pub

That's OK, I got mine in the car park.

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Messerschmitts, Sinclairs and a '50s living room: The Bubblecar Museum

ukgnome
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Re: Bond Bug

I always wanted a bug - heck I still do.

Although I did have a bright yellow robin estate - clocked at 97MPH on the M1 by the old bill. Simply one of the scariest things I had ever done.

The reliant A series block was a think of simplistic beauty, I would love to own another one, although wifey says no. Properly wise woman that one!

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Avengers: Age of Ultron – blisteringly big banter, brawls and brio

ukgnome
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Re: 3 things....

1. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha we actually get a lot of films before you....Hollywood is a lie!

2. he's good, but he's no genius

3. I got nothing!

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ukgnome
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Re: Seeing it tomorrow...

Vue also allow your own food and drink, although they do ask that you refrain from bringing in alcohol and takeaway mac burger type food.

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TWO-FACED Facebook: Vid calls slapped into blabber app

ukgnome
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So what data does a 10 min call use?

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SPB brews up fetching beer + bacon t-shirt design

ukgnome
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SPB? is that still a thing.....I thought the FAA closed you guys down and you're now an online cookery show.

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Easy ... easy ... Aw CRAP! SpaceX rocket ALMOST lands on ocean hoverbase

ukgnome
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Re: Just a thought:

Pretty much what the spectacularly refined chap said.

You would need a massive vessel to counteract the waves.

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Bloke hits armadillo AND mother-in-law with single 9mm round

ukgnome
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Re: Erm...

it's in Bootnotes.....

*if I had a pound for every person etc etc

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BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

ukgnome
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Re: LP05

Reading this has made my muscle memory kick in, and I am now rubbing my fingers expecting to find a razor thin slice.

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Hey, Woz. You've got $150m. You're kicking back in Australia. What's on your mind? Killer AI

ukgnome
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I have asked the author of the film Robot Overlords if robots one day will enslave us.

Mark Stay replied that we have a device in our hand, in our home, it's already happened. (paraphrase)

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Taylor Swift snaps up EVEN MORE pr0n domain names

ukgnome
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Excuse me but....

What's whiftsucks?

And why would the Harrogate coffee company be doing it?

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Winning a brand new BOFH T-Shirt is as simple as...

ukgnome
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At last a tee-shirt that I want my dark nemesis to see, just before I taser him.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chana masala

ukgnome
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In the hope my woman reads this, can I have these for my tea?

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Dream job: Sysadmin/F1 pit crew member with Red Bull racing

ukgnome
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I think I will pass on that.

1 second SLA is far too tight. I'm more the hope the customer isn't in within 3 rings kinda guy.

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RIP Sir Terry Pratchett: Discworld author finally gets to meet DEATH

ukgnome
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His embuggerance caught up with him.

RIP Sir Terry

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I see what you've done, there, twiiter.com: Tweet troops tackle tech twin

ukgnome
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You asked the company?

What a waste of time, you needed to twat them.

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UK spaceport, phase two: Now where do we PUT the bleeding thing?

ukgnome
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you would think Norfolk would be good, or isle of man.

But nope, somewhere close to Glasgow is on the list. Like WTF

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Ford to save you from BIKE FITNESS HORROR

ukgnome
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That thing on the back of it though?

Do you HAVE TO deliver pizza?

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

ukgnome
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Trollface

cool story bro.

I suspect your phone pocket was all moist because of the armfuls of comics.

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He can't give it away FAST ENOUGH: Bill Gates richest man in world again

ukgnome
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Childcatcher

Dear Bill

I am currently facing redundancy and could do with a few quid.

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Snowden 'ready to return to US', claims lawyer

ukgnome
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Thumb Up

Best phone endemol

Seriously, this has game show written all over it.

It can all finish with a worldwide phone vote that will either see him wearing an orange jumpsuit and getting whisked off to god knows where. Or, if he is super lucky then he could win the star prize as the face of ford or something similar.

Fingers on buzzards!

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RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

ukgnome
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Re: @Callous AC: I don't want to sound callous, but thank fuck for that!

Oh, I was going for an anagram of CNUT

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Is light a wave or a particle? Beaming boffins prove it's BOTH

ukgnome
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woah

I have no idea what this could mean for humanity, but I do rather like it.

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

ukgnome
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Personally I think the BBC is already an expensive pay-per-subscription service. It doesn't listen to its customers and is a bit old hat.

Having said that, I like the BBC - I just think it's an expensive dinosaur. It tries to be everything to everyone and sadly it fails. I don't care for homes under the bargain in my attic type of shows, but I do like Doctor Who.

Maybe go the way of netflix, but premium content online and kill a few digital channels.

aagghhh i just don't know what's best for the old girl.

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El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

ukgnome
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£4 postage - you money grabbing so and so's

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Laughing gas and rubber: A recipe for suborbital flight?

ukgnome
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yes yes it's all jolly nice that they get to launch their rocket and all that. But what we all insist on knowing is the LOHAN when.

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BOFH in mugnificent return to Cash'n'Carrion

ukgnome
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It's a step in the right direction I suppose, but like everyone else I want tee shirts please and thank you.

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

ukgnome
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Re: Cillit Bang...

You wore it and got diddled? Lucky bugger.

All i got was ridiculed.

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BT fixes home hub drop-out glitch ONE YEAR after denying flaw existed

ukgnome
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This sort of router issue also occurs on the 3 and the 4 but try telling that to BT

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: El Reg eggs Benedict

ukgnome
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dammit that looks good

that is all

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

ukgnome
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those pesky blighters

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Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP

ukgnome
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Unsurprisingly, after hearing from The Register on Monday, Sky promised to release a new update today.

Dear Reg - Please can you contact Greater Anglia about it's appalling service to IT commuters?

Also, please fire off a few emails to the twunts that control the wifi service called the cloud as I don't want a dumb post office advert auto-playing at every bloody station.

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Reg hacks (and rest of 'Frisco) in LinkedIn measles contagion scare

ukgnome
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What, no Mitch Ben link?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YCGMqp6kBE

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TITANIC: Nuclear SUBMARINE cruising 'Sea of KRAKENS' may be FOUND ON icy MOON

ukgnome
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erm

it looks a bit penisy

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So long, Cyanogen! OnePlus says its future belongs to OxygenOS

ukgnome
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You don't know much about the modding community then?

Of course people will flash an alternative ROM on their new devices, just not everyone.

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FOCUS! 7680 x 4320 notebook and fondleslab screens are coming

ukgnome
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Awesome News!

Now my facebook feed will still look exactly the same!

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