* Posts by Flatpackhamster

401 posts • joined 14 Jun 2011

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Reg exec in deluxe roo-skin pen case beernami trauma

Flatpackhamster
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That explains

Why you only get kangaroos in hot dry Australia. If they lived in England they'd be soaked through all the time.

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D-Link removes fingers from ears, preps mass router patch

Flatpackhamster
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Chucked mine before Christmas.

Bought an expensive D-Link 8-port home router to replace my old Draytek which had given up after 8 years, and spent most of the six months it was installed emailing D-Link during the brief periods when I could be certain of internet access. I must have had seven or 8 beta firmware updates, none of which made a jot of difference. They told me my line must be faulty.

I went and bought another Draytek. D'you know, it turns out my line isn't faulty after all? I told them to go fuck themselves and chucked it in the bin. Never again.

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

Flatpackhamster
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Re: So

This isn't about the quality of the product, it's about whether or not television provision by the taxpayer is an ESSENTIAL in the way that state schooling and defence are. It quite clearly isn't.

Since the telly tax is the same price for everyone, it clearly hits the poorest hardest and the BBC's highbrow stuff is entirely consumed by the middle and upper middle classes. So if you're comfortable saying 'I like taking money off poor people to keep Tristan Bronwell-Chlostyon and his mates in macbooks and to ensure I can watch Borgen on a Saturday night' then good on you.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: So

Your analogy might work if state funded television services were an essential service as defence or education are. Other television providers are available to all. Other defence and education services are not.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: So

When did it become essential? Don't you know that 200,000 media studies graduates DEPEND on the BBC to keep them out of a job at Tesco's?

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C’mon Lenovo. Superfish hooked, but Pokki Start Menu still roaming free

Flatpackhamster
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Just had another one.

Acer desktop from John Lewis came with Pokki preinstalled. Quality nice!

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Pokki is fine

A 30 second Google should have brought you (assuming Pokki doesn't redirect your browser searches) to the Classic Shell website. Much nicer than Pokki.

I still don't like 8.1 on a desktop computer. Small touch screen it's great, but classic shell is (for me) essential on an 8.1 with a big screen or a non-touch one.

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Flatpackhamster
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Not just laptops.

I've seen it on Lenovo desktops too. I thought it was weird when a brand new desktop straight out of the box came with malware on it since I've been spotting Pokki in the wild on badly infected machines for a few years now.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie

Flatpackhamster
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Re: An explanation

In the first Red Dwarf book there's a mention of Lister eating curry and having mango chutney with it so I agree that would be the right choice.

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Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'

Flatpackhamster
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Re: I think it's a rather good idea.

And the great thing about it is you won't have to go looking for those dickheads, because they'll come and find you and tell you about their new Apple watch.

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TITANIC: Nuclear SUBMARINE cruising 'Sea of KRAKENS' may be FOUND ON icy MOON

Flatpackhamster
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Why a sub?

What would a submarine be able to give you that a ship equipped with lidar and sonar to map the depth of the sea wouldn't? If you really wanted to look underwater then a camera mounted on the underside of the ship would do that but I can't see that it would give us any fresh knowledge (apart from 'how to build a submarine on Titan' that sending a ship wouldn't. Are they making life too complicated for themselves?

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Over 50? Out of work? Watch out because IT is about to EAT ITSELF

Flatpackhamster
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re: software developers

It's only because computers aren't coding themselves yet. When they do you'll be next. As a tech support bod who's under 40, I've seen the number of jobs available and the salaries on offer plunge. My next career move will probably be out of IT (sadly).

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Sitting on one's ARSE is the new CANCER, says Tim Cook - and an Apple watch will save you

Flatpackhamster
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Is it subsidised?

Solar in the UK and EU is heavily subsidised by the taxpayer. Is it also subsidised by the state in the USA?

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

Flatpackhamster
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And stopping the planet from flipping over on its side.

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What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Fair play to them

The Lumia has an SD port which will take 128GB of extra storage, if you want it.

And it has, as you say, no touchscreen. Touchscreen works extremely well on a small lightweight laptop with Win8. Try out the Lenovo Yoga and see what I mean. I was an absolute anti-Win8er until I tried it in touch format on the Yoga.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Fair play to them

They are at least marketing it as a laptop replacement now. The original surface was marketed as a tablet, and it went head to head with the iPad in the same price bracket and lost because it didn't do anything better and it didn't have the Apple badge on it.

John Lewis have a Core i3 64GB Surface Pro 3 for £639 at the moment. £100 for a keyboard and you'll have spent £750 which, as you say, for an ultraportable laptop seems reasonable.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Supervolcano and/or bolide impact.

How are you planning to collect it when their database can't be accessed?

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Supervolcano and/or bolide impact.

3 - Letting the green movement near the levers of power.

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$500 TEDDY BEAR teaches tots to spit up personal data

Flatpackhamster
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4 seconds?

I can see that working well. After all, babies will always hold the correct hand and not the other hand or the ear or a foot. And they'll do it for the required amount of time in the right way.

There is SO much baby tat out there and this pretty much tops the pile of Things That Won't Work.

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Frontier wipes credit of Elite: Dangerous 'billionaire' badboys

Flatpackhamster
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Not Simon Sharwood.

It's no co-incidence that the author of this article is a different person. Sharwood doesn't even ask FD for a comment, he's no journalist.

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UKIP website TAKES A KIP, but for why?

Flatpackhamster
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Before the internet came along you'd have a good old fashioned purge of Party members. Gulags, fake trials, etc. Now it's all gone virtual.

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Elite:Dangerous goes TITSUP

Flatpackhamster
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Re: not standing up for the game but

Well, quite, but ISTM that Simon Sharwood had his nose put out of joint by the removal of the Offline mode and have gone Full Hate. Not even an article on here saying the game had been released, just articles about how awful it all is and how unhappy everyone is. When the reality is that about 100 whiny manbabies are filling the forum with complaints about the lack of offline mode - no doubt Mr Sharwood was one of them.

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

Flatpackhamster
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I can think of a far better app which asks a few simple questions

1 - Do you fancy a kebab?

2 - Is it me or is this place full of incredibly attractive people?

3 - Can you play pool like the ghost of Hurricane Higgins?

If the answer to all 3 is 'Yes', you should probably catch the bus.

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HOLD IT! Last minute gifts for one's nerd minions

Flatpackhamster
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I don't understand all the downvotes.

The Lenovo Yoga was the device that convinced me that Windows 8 could actually be good. Fast, portable, small, good touch-sensitive screen and it has been amazingly popular for my retired customers who still need a keyboard.

But since the start menu was reintroduced you don't have that tile screen immediately to hand and it's a bit of a shame. I prefer having a start menu on my desktop but the Win8 tiles worked brilliantly for the Yoga and, I imagine, any 11"-or-thereabouts-touchscreen device.

One of Microsoft's biggest errors was not making sure all of Win8 was touch-compatible. How are you supposed to use the control panel, for example, on an 11" touchscreen? It's too fiddly. A huge oversight on their part not to make sure their whole system was able to work with their new interface, and no doubt contributed to the justifiable crossness that killed Win8.

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EU breaks 'legally binding' lobbying register promise

Flatpackhamster
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Will register include 'charities' as well as businesses?

There a number of groups which are registered as charities who lobby heavily. Environmental charities such as FOE are one example, but political groups who are registered as charities because they're non profit making.

If the register doesn't include 'charitable' lobbying it isn't very useful. All that will happen is that the lobbying will be routed through a 'front' charity to avoid the register.

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American bacon cured with AR-15 assault rifle

Flatpackhamster
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Re: See? THIS is why there can never be...@flatpackhamster

Sure it is. Maybe you were just 'going to the wrong place', like every single commenter on here who holds Septic cookage in contempt went to 'the wrong place' in America.

Americans measure the quality of their food by whether or not it hangs over the side of the plate.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: See? THIS is why there can never be...

It isn't a lack of familiarity that's breeding the contempt for Septic Cookage here.

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'Turn to nuclear power to save planetary ecology from renewable BLIGHT'

Flatpackhamster
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Re: How convenient...

The primary reason the costs are so high these days is that the nuclear industry is being regulated out of existence by the ecomentalist movement.

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Web daddy Sir Tim Berners-Lee: Back off Putin, I'm no CIA stooge

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Every day

Downvoted by some pillock who thinks Russell Brand is the New Messiah.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Every day

Yes.

He's like Russell Brand with nukes.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Flatpackhamster
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Looks OK to me.

It's a lot brighter, but it feels a bit WALLOFTEXT.

Could you have alternating lines of (say) grey and white for the articles? So the first three articles have a white background, the next ones a grey background? Would that suck? It probably would but I don't know, that's why I do tech support and own a PC rather than doing graphic design and owning a Mac.

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

Flatpackhamster
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Erhmm.

Mongrels.

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A nation of CODERS? Yes, says UK.gov, and have some cash to do it

Flatpackhamster
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Re: is it not easier

To teach in Finland requires a Masters' degree. I would argue that the government isn't being selective enough with its teachers - particularly when I look at the people I shared a university with who became teachers off the back of their Desmond.

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Feast your eyes: 10 'fortysomething' smart TVs

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Dumb TV please

Sadly plasma TVs have now been banned in the EU because they drown polar bears.

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What a pity: Rollout of hated UK smart meters delayed again

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Pointless and dangerous fads

@Tapeador - No, we didn't. Feel free to keep making excuses. What's next? "If the UK left the EU we wouldn't be able to 'influence the decision making process"?

And, just as I suspected, the EUfanatic downvoters are out in force. What is it you love so much about it and why do you always post as AC? I don't wonder.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Pointless and dangerous fads

@ charlie-charlie-tango-alpha

This is why we're doing it:

http://ec.europa.eu/energy/gas_electricity/smartgrids/smartgrids_en.htm

EU directives require us to do it. We are required BY LAW to have 80% of houses fitted with one by 2020.

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2012-12/21/smart-meters

Doubtless the usual EU fanatics will be vigorously downvoting this, or claiming, as they usually do, that it's all 'optional' and we all 'signed up for it' or some such BS.

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By the Rivers of Babylon, where the Antikythera Mechanism laid down

Flatpackhamster
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Re: our minds aren't dulled

Well, quite. We can downvote away about the plebs, safe in our superior cosy metropolitan worldview, but for every couch potato piddling their life away watching Celebrity Glove Island there's someone designing a new type of hinge or testing out website code or simply making life better in a very small way for a small number of people.

All stuff they couldn't do when 85% of the population worked on the land.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Been in the museum where they have this object

Hitler's party also persecuted, imprisoned and killed fascists and national socialists. Hitler's party killed EVERYONE. It really was the Nobby Nofriends Party.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Been in the museum where they have this object

It's those everyday conveniences that allow us to come up with new inventions. The only way it's possible is for someone to be producing enough of a food surplus to feed someone else who can sit around inventing. You can only invent if you've got time and energy to do it.

The pace of technological change is directly linked to the amount of leisure time people have, because they don't have to spend all day grinding wheat/herding pigs/digging for coal/washing clothes/etc. By not having to do those things, our minds aren't dulled and are free to mess around inventing hoverboards.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Masala omelette

Flatpackhamster
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Re: ruined at the last moment by adding coriander leaves

"usually"...by Americans. Never seen any British supermarket or shop sell it as 'cilantro'.

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Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Antivirus

I like it. It's fast, it's light on resources and it does a reasonable job of keeping a machine minty-fresh.

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Ex-EU digi supremo Steelie Neelie's net neutrality bid in tatters?

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Bait and Switch

Our MEPs can't do that because they would NEVER get enough support in Parliament. Parliament's job is merely to rubber stamp the executive's decisions.

Our government can't block it via the council of ministers because Tony Blair and Gordon Brown gave away our veto in that area.

Keep peddling lies like all the other EU fanatics.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Bait and Switch

Assuming that the government did that, at least if it's our government we do have the chance to change it through voting in a different government. If the EU decides we can't undo it without the say-so of 29 other governments, and that's not going to happen.

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MYSTERY Russian satellite: ORBITAL WEAPON? Sat GOBBLER? What?

Flatpackhamster
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Re: Panic!

It's not that I don't like turkey, it's just that it's really not a very good tasting animal compared to the alternatives, particularly when you have to put that amount of work in. Compare it to goose which requires no work, no buggering around with tinfoil, just bung it in the oven and start drinking.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Panic!

Fuck me, that's a lot of work for an animal that doesn't taste very good.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Panic!

You need to pluck it first. I'll leave you to judge the cruelty factor of plucking a live goose - and the risks to yourself in doing so.

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Flatpackhamster
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Re: Panic!

Yes, do goose instead of turkey. Roast goose is the finest roasty bird known to humankind, and is the easiest to cook. 1 - turn oven to high heat. 2 - insert goose in to oven. 3 - drink wine and ignore for 2 hours. 4 - consume, taking particular care to enjoy crunchy delicious goose skin.

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Official: European members prefer to fondle Apple iPads

Flatpackhamster
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Not the first time.

I'm remember that when the iPad first came out there was lots of excitement about it, so the Parliament voted itself free iPads, one for every member (750 at a cost of about £400,000).

And only this year there was a photo tweeted from inside parliament which showed 106 empty iPad mini boxes.

Snuffle in that trough, little piggy! Oink Oink!

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Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Flatpackhamster
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Re: There seems to be a lot of confusion about 'offline mode'.

You see the effects of the players in terms of changes to prices and stock of goods at starports, for example. But the markets shift with the influence of NPC 'players' too AIUI. The lists of missions/jobs available at starports are NOT, AFAIK, affected by other players, human or AI.

So you might arrive at the starport to find they will take your cargo of Boiled Greebo Pelts at 78Cr/ton, log off for dinner and return to find the price has dropped to 40Cr/ton. That's the theory. I have yet to see it operate like that in practice.

I think (this isn't gospel, I'm just a beta tester) that solo players' influences feed in to the markets just as everyone else's do, so solo players are only 'solo' in the sense that all human players are invisible to them.

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Flatpackhamster
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There seems to be a lot of confusion about 'offline mode'.

There's two gaming modes in Elite as it stands. The first is Open Play - which is you PLUS other human players. The second is Solo Mode - which is you WITHOUT the other players.

Both play modes inhabit the same universe, but players in Solo Mode never see those in Open Play and vice versa.

This ISN'T being removed from the game.

What FD have said is they can't offer an 'offline' solution so that you can have the whole game on your PC and play it.

So this does affect those with poor broadband connections (or no connection) but it doesn't affect those who don't want to mix with gaming bullies.

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