Let the probing begin!
FTC and FCC stand over the supine body of ISP, strapped to the Good Ship Stagefright's probing table.
ISP: What..? What's going on?
FTC: We wanted to calibrate the equipment.
FCC: Yes, there seems to be a lot of variation between the models assigned to you and it is important to find out why.
ISP: But what does that have to do with me?
FTC: Well, it is you equipment, isn't it?
ISP: It is, but not as such. You see... <PROBE> ARRGH!
FCC: What do you think?
FTC: It doesn't look so good for tablets and I'm not getting a reading for phones. Probe again!
ISP: No! Wait! <PROBE> AHHHH!
FTC: Still nothing. Give it a few more jolts and maybe something will show up.
ISP: <PROBE> OHHHH! <PROBE> Please! No! No more! <PROBE> Don't touch me there!Only my girlfriend touches me there!<PROBE><PROBE> <PROBE><PROBE><PROBE>whimper....
FCC: Sigh. Really, this could have all been avoided if you would have kept your house in order to begin with. Have you learned your lesson?
ISP: sniff sniff sniffle *hic* yes.
FCC: Good. What do you think?
FTC: Dunno. Maybe a couple more just to be sure.