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* Posts by Steady Eddy

34 posts • joined Monday 6th June 2011 12:12 GMT

Steady Eddy
Joke

Women will be forced into prostitution by climate change

Sure, but I'm sure there's a downside as well.

Steady Eddy
Joke

I bought a time machine next week

It's not very good. They don't make them like they will do.

Steady Eddy

Re: Also

Big or not, they all taste the same.

Steady Eddy

Re: MS take on version numbering?

Windows 7 is actually NT 6.1

That's for compatibility reasons, calm down.

Steady Eddy

Gee

It's tough at the top.

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

WTF is "pre-used" ?

Steady Eddy

Sod graduates

You've spent four years drinking and sleeping around and you wrote a dissertation on the sex life of an ant or something stupid.

Sod off.

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Re: Doesn't add up

to call

verb

to ask or order to come

Steady Eddy

Well, the picture clearly says "Ulitsa Lifanova"

Steady Eddy

Re: Oh Rly?...At least I can get at the culprits if my network goes down.

Fatman, where do you work, and how to I apply?

Steady Eddy
WTF?

Re: Data in clouds

"Windows is not ready for the data centre"

Ha ha ha ha ha! What the hell do you think runs services? Organic lolcats?

Steady Eddy

Whenever I see the word "cloud"

I mentally replace it with "clown".

Steady Eddy

Yawn

Was a field service engineer for nearly eight years, saw this every day.

Steady Eddy

Why doesn't anyone do this "sexting" with me?

Steady Eddy

I pity the mule

Steady Eddy

Don't bother

1. Nobody in the UK has heard of A+. You will never see a job advert saying "must have A+".

2. Don't bother. There are more than enough people in IT already, and we don't need any n00bs thanks.

3. A bloke in India already knows more than you and can do it cheaper.

Harsh but true.

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

" If I grab your wallet and make a copy of your credit card numbers, I don't steal anything either."

Indeed you have. You have stolen my wallet and contents. Regardless of whether or not I recover all or part of my wallet and contents and regardless of how long you have deprived me of there use, you have committed a theft.

Wrong. Theft is defined as permanently depriving someone of something. If I take your wallet and return it, it's borrowing. If I take your car, and return it, it's taking a vehicle without consent, which is specifically a crime. If I take your car, drive it recklessly with no regard, damage it, and return it, it could be considered theft.

Steady Eddy

Search online for pictures of "north korean traffic police" - they're hot!

Steady Eddy
Unhappy

Such a pity

Such a pity that 99% of people think there is only one search engine and that that search engine is Google

Steady Eddy

uk.altavista.com/web/adv

uk.altavista.com/web/adv until it went all Yahoo!

Then WiseNut which was pretty good.

Sigh.

Steady Eddy

Er duh...

This occurred to me years ago.

What kind of idiot uses these things anyway?

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Is it

Is it what live.com used to try to be? Zzzzz

Steady Eddy
Thumb Up

Harsh, but fair

I wouldn't employ a self-obsessed, narcissistic gormless Apple-owning sheep either.

Steady Eddy
Joke

"Customers just want fresh, young models"

Mmm, don't we all

Steady Eddy
Thumb Up

Welcome to the Hotel California

"Welcome to the Hotel California

Such a lovely place

Such a lovely place

You can check-out any time you like,

But you can never leave..."

Steady Eddy

If you're dumb enough to type stuff into Google and click on the top link then you deserve to get scammed.

I know someone who failed her driving test. On the back of the bit of paper the examiner gives you, it says "to book a test, go to www.direct.gov.uk/motoring". What did she do? Types "book driving test online" in Google and clicks on the top link. And then asked me why the Department of Transport took payment via PayPal.

Google are evil.

PhonePhonePlus is a stupid name.

There is no need for premium rate phone numbers any more, you can get free porno online nowadays. Or so I'm told.

Steady Eddy
Unhappy

Spent two years supporting versions 4.5, 5 and 6.

I loved the way you had to get a third party thing called NotesMedic that would allow you to launch Locust Notes after an abnormal session close without rebooting. And the way you'd look up an error message on IBM's KB, and it would say "The Notes team is aware of this issue. June 20, 1997" and that was it.

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Cloud = clown

Doesn't matter what your SLA says, if a bloke in a JCB digs up the cable outside your building, you're stuffed.

And you can jump up and down and escalate it with your Account Manager at Lowest Bidder plc, but the time to rectify is however long it takes for someone's subcontractor's subcontractor to splice the fibre back together.

Steady Eddy
Joke

Well...

She can fondle my snake any day!

Boom boom!

Steady Eddy
FAIL

¡Ay, ay, ay!

¡No es bueno!

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

"women are heroes"

"heroines" surely?

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Re: Just dumb

You're educated and an IT Pro and you use Google? You really should know better.

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Duh

Every time you see the word "cloud", mentally replace it with "clown". There, doesn't seem so clever now, does it?

Steady Eddy

Title

I pity the mule...