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* Posts by Steady Eddy

35 posts • joined 6 Jun 2011

IBM spends holiday season wrangling e-tail FAIL

Steady Eddy

IBM Websphere

Was what Comet used. And look where that got them.

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CLIMATE CHANGE forces women into PROSTITUTION - US politicians

Steady Eddy
Joke

Women will be forced into prostitution by climate change

Sure, but I'm sure there's a downside as well.

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... time machine. Iranian Dr Who claims he invented a ...

Steady Eddy
Joke

I bought a time machine next week

It's not very good. They don't make them like they will do.

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Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official

Steady Eddy

Re: Also

Big or not, they all taste the same.

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Microsoft's summer update will be called Windows 8.1

Steady Eddy

Re: MS take on version numbering?

Windows 7 is actually NT 6.1

That's for compatibility reasons, calm down.

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Boss of Irish-based R&D hub: Man, this place is the back of beyond

Steady Eddy

Gee

It's tough at the top.

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Rug tugged from under 2e2 after it racked up £50m loss - report

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

WTF is "pre-used" ?

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Attention, CIOs: Stop outsourcing or YOU will never retire

Steady Eddy

Sod graduates

You've spent four years drinking and sleeping around and you wrote a dissertation on the sex life of an ant or something stupid.

Sod off.

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Woman nails 'cheating boyf' on Russian 'Street View'

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Re: Doesn't add up

to call

verb

to ask or order to come

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Steady Eddy

Well, the picture clearly says "Ulitsa Lifanova"

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Microsoft secure Azure Storage goes down WORLDWIDE

Steady Eddy

Re: Oh Rly?...At least I can get at the culprits if my network goes down.

Fatman, where do you work, and how to I apply?

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Microsoft still reviving Azure SQL Reporting after MONDAY FAIL

Steady Eddy
WTF?

Re: Data in clouds

"Windows is not ready for the data centre"

Ha ha ha ha ha! What the hell do you think runs services? Organic lolcats?

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2e2 cloud cash fiasco puts NHS IT and biz 'over a barrel'

Steady Eddy

Whenever I see the word "cloud"

I mentally replace it with "clown".

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Bring out your dead: Reg readers reveal filthy, filthy PCs...

Steady Eddy

Yawn

Was a field service engineer for nearly eight years, saw this every day.

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Mobes, web filth 'PORNIFYING' our kids, warns top Labour MP

Steady Eddy

Why doesn't anyone do this "sexting" with me?

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Google denies smacking Botswanan ass

Steady Eddy

I pity the mule

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Which qualifications are worthwhile?

Steady Eddy

Don't bother

1. Nobody in the UK has heard of A+. You will never see a job advert saying "must have A+".

2. Don't bother. There are more than enough people in IT already, and we don't need any n00bs thanks.

3. A bloke in India already knows more than you and can do it cheaper.

Harsh but true.

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Minicam movie pirate gets record-breaking five years in prison

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

" If I grab your wallet and make a copy of your credit card numbers, I don't steal anything either."

Indeed you have. You have stolen my wallet and contents. Regardless of whether or not I recover all or part of my wallet and contents and regardless of how long you have deprived me of there use, you have committed a theft.

Wrong. Theft is defined as permanently depriving someone of something. If I take your wallet and return it, it's borrowing. If I take your car, and return it, it's taking a vehicle without consent, which is specifically a crime. If I take your car, drive it recklessly with no regard, damage it, and return it, it could be considered theft.

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North Korea releases first computer game

Steady Eddy

Search online for pictures of "north korean traffic police" - they're hot!

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Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them

Steady Eddy
Unhappy

Such a pity

Such a pity that 99% of people think there is only one search engine and that that search engine is Google

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Steady Eddy

uk.altavista.com/web/adv

uk.altavista.com/web/adv until it went all Yahoo!

Then WiseNut which was pretty good.

Sigh.

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That square QR barcode on the poster? Check it's not a sticker

Steady Eddy

Er duh...

This occurred to me years ago.

What kind of idiot uses these things anyway?

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Microsoft’s so.cl network now open to all

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Is it

Is it what live.com used to try to be? Zzzzz

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

Steady Eddy
Thumb Up

Harsh, but fair

I wouldn't employ a self-obsessed, narcissistic gormless Apple-owning sheep either.

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UK server market lifeless: Customers just want fresh, young models

Steady Eddy
Joke

"Customers just want fresh, young models"

Mmm, don't we all

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Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

Steady Eddy
Thumb Up

Welcome to the Hotel California

"Welcome to the Hotel California

Such a lovely place

Such a lovely place

You can check-out any time you like,

But you can never leave..."

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Google Adwords scammer charged premium to call NHS Direct

Steady Eddy

If you're dumb enough to type stuff into Google and click on the top link then you deserve to get scammed.

I know someone who failed her driving test. On the back of the bit of paper the examiner gives you, it says "to book a test, go to www.direct.gov.uk/motoring". What did she do? Types "book driving test online" in Google and clicks on the top link. And then asked me why the Department of Transport took payment via PayPal.

Google are evil.

PhonePhonePlus is a stupid name.

There is no need for premium rate phone numbers any more, you can get free porno online nowadays. Or so I'm told.

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IBM drops Lotus brand from next version of Notes

Steady Eddy
Unhappy

Spent two years supporting versions 4.5, 5 and 6.

I loved the way you had to get a third party thing called NotesMedic that would allow you to launch Locust Notes after an abnormal session close without rebooting. And the way you'd look up an error message on IBM's KB, and it would say "The Notes team is aware of this issue. June 20, 1997" and that was it.

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Hold it! Don't back up to a cloud until you've eyed up these figures

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Cloud = clown

Doesn't matter what your SLA says, if a bloke in a JCB digs up the cable outside your building, you're stuffed.

And you can jump up and down and escalate it with your Account Manager at Lowest Bidder plc, but the time to rectify is however long it takes for someone's subcontractor's subcontractor to splice the fibre back together.

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Snake-fondling blonde nude punts Polish coffins

Steady Eddy
Joke

Well...

She can fondle my snake any day!

Boom boom!

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Mexico to Apple: You WILL NOT use the name 'iPhone' here

Steady Eddy
FAIL

¡Ay, ay, ay!

¡No es bueno!

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How Bodyform's farting 'CEO' became a viral sensation

Steady Eddy
Headmaster

"women are heroes"

"heroines" surely?

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Windows 8 versions will confuse the punters, say OEMs

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Re: Just dumb

You're educated and an IT Pro and you use Google? You really should know better.

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Amazon's Virginia cloud data center knocked out – again

Steady Eddy
FAIL

Duh

Every time you see the word "cloud", mentally replace it with "clown". There, doesn't seem so clever now, does it?

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Virgin IT dept shocked by donkey-shagging Taliban

Steady Eddy

Title

I pity the mule...

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