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* Posts by Anonymous Coward 101

905 posts • joined 16 May 2011

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'Blow it up': Plods pop round for chat with Commonwealth Games tweeter

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Plods really are dumb

It was going to be Sergeant Michael Hunt, but he went AWOL. His superior is asking everyone if they have seen Mike Hunt.

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

Anonymous Coward 101
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How did the STEREO satellite survive the blast?

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Microsoft unsheathes cheap Android-killer: Behold, the Lumia 530

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Bin royalties for the platform.

Yes, they can give it away. Did you read the article?

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SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

Anonymous Coward 101
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"Average ball possession became a critical factor with the need to look at receiving the ball, control, passing and pass completion."

This will come as a shock to Woy Hodgson, whose tactics of losing the ball, incompetence, and passing the ball to the opposition were key to victory.

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Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months

Anonymous Coward 101
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"I think there's still enough love for them that..."

The Register commentards think they love Nokia, but for the average punter Nokia has as much resonance as Matsui, Phillips, Bush and other electronics brands from days gone by. Nokia made that phone they got for Christmas in 2002 that they liked.

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Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Shades of Couch Potatoes of the World, Unite

Every time I hear the word 'creative', I want to scream. When people comment on how 'creative' someone is, it is generally because they aren't that bright or have a poor work ethic: 'Fair enough, John never was good at maths, and has an alternative lifestyle that does not involve actual effort, but he is so >creative<.'

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Anonymous Coward 101
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At least the start of this film sounds comprehensible, unlike The Phantom Menace. That film made no sense. Aside from that, this film is totally anticlimactic and pointless.

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X marks the chop: Microsoft takes axe to Nokia's Android venture

Anonymous Coward 101
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Was Nokia Android simply a ruse to get MS to buy Nokia? 'Buy us, or watch us pump yet more Android devices out to India'!

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Microsoft swings axe at 18,000 bods in its largest ever round of layoffs

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Told you so

No, the rot started long before he joined. Nokia made some calamitous decisions (to be more accurate, non-decisions) between 2007-2010 and left the door open to Apple, Samsung, HTC and RIM to take it's market share.

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NAO slaps down Cabinet Office gov-IT savings claims AGAIN

Anonymous Coward 101
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"GDS calculates savings based on cases where its directly "enforces" a change in a project's scope, which cancels or reduces costs. It then compares the revised and approved forecast to the original spend estimates submitted for approval."

You can bet as many civil servants worked on this numbers game as worked on the projects themselves. Also, I am at a loss as to how one can compare a 'forecast' to an 'original estimate' and conclude a saving has been made.

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Gust catches Amazon's skirt, reveals glimpse of 'Netflix for books'

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: So...

"What's wrong with supporting your local library instead?"

Local libraries are for women who want to read books about beaten-but-unbowed Victorian lasses who end up marrying his Lordship's son; for those with more diverse interests, they are not so good. That is perhaps unjust, but I see less value in local libraries.

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British cops cuff 660 suspected paedophiles

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: See ...

Given the arrests were made using existing powers, I fail to see what they have to do with the new powers?

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Programming languages in economics: Cool research, bro, but what about, er, economics?

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Baffling

"Boom/bust cycles only hurt during the bust."

No shit Sherlock. And jumping from an aeroplane without a parachute only hurts if you make contact with the ground.

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Microsoft takes on Chromebook with low-cost Windows laptops

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: a netbook by any other name would stink as much

I thought commentards thought Netbooks are amazingly awesome - or do they cease being so when MS bring out 'Netbook v2'?

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FBI: We found US MILITARY AIRCRAFT INTEL during raid on alleged Chinese hacker

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Good luck with that F35

The article doesn't mention it, but they have managed to build a working prototype from the information stolen. They have drilled a large hole in the ground and are attempting to fill it up with gold bars!

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Virgin Media goes titsup AGAIN. The cause? Yet MORE DNS strife

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: How to sort out DNS problems properly

"However, why go through all that testing for local DNS servers etc. to use, when you can simply configure a standalone DNS server that is seeded with the root servers?"

Or just use Google?

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Facebook: Yes, we made you SAD on PURPOSE... for your own good

Anonymous Coward 101
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Email has already been invented.

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Brit bank Barclays rolls out voice recog for telephone banking

Anonymous Coward 101
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With the exception of words like 'yes' and 'no', it never works. I can only think banks are laughing at us when they ask us to read a 16 digit card number to these systems.

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Home automation while it's hot: Winter warmth for lazy technophiles

Anonymous Coward 101
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Hive

I got Hive for my house, even though I knew it would not reduce my gas consumption by that much. The main benefit is the ability the switch my heating on from the comfort of my bed at the weekend if I happen to wake early. There is also the sheer satisfaction of being able to switch the heating off if I know I will be out in the evening and I won't waste any gas.

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For one night only – Ibsen classic gets the Dolby Atmos treatment

Anonymous Coward 101
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"This is a romp of a very different sort: a Victorian era social commentary with various ingredients including secrets and lies, philandering and unrequited love, a bit of the old incestuous allusions and, of course, a healthy dose of syphilis."

Is this the promised mash up between The Terminator and Fast and Furious?

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Hackers steal trade secrets from major US hedge firm

Anonymous Coward 101
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Let's hope the bastards who committed this heinous crime rot in prison for the rest of their lives.

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EE in giant VoLTE-face as it tries voice calls over Wi-Fi... again

Anonymous Coward 101
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O2...

...have their own service called O2 Tu Go. It's great for making calls or sending texts, but it doesn't work for notifying you of incoming calls and texts. This is pretty shit and defeats a big part of the reason for this kind of service.

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9 Dark Social Truths That Will Totally Blow Your Bowels!

Anonymous Coward 101
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'ISIS Don't Do Facebook'

According to the BBC, they do Twitter, Instagram and YouTube instead:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-27912569

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Auditors blast Blighty cops over binned multi-million pound IT project

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Agile approach?

I suggest an old scoping document that nobody but the auditor looked at since it was typed up said 'this project will use the Agile methodology', because that was the terminology in vogue at the time.

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Hate phone games that make you buy in-app gumble? Congrats, you're a niche player

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Who?

It's the incredible sums of money charged in some of these apps that get me - £80 for a 'heap of gold' or some shite.

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Bankrupt Bitcoin blunder bunker MtGox finds a friend to fend off out-of-pocket investors

Anonymous Coward 101
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"Gonzague Gay-Bouchery"

This name is surely a joke?

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Ohio man cuffed AGAIN for shagging inflatable pool raft

Anonymous Coward 101
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If this guy had beaten someone up or robbed a shop at gunpoint, I wouldn't be reading about him on The Register. But because he, apparently not right in the head, committed a minor sex crime involving a lilo, I'm reading about him.

The stories you read about in the press (and found on Google for years to come) are either the most heinous and the most pathetic.

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London commuter hell will soon include 'one card to rule them all'

Anonymous Coward 101
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"It also raises questions of surveillance, as any card which is able to track a person's entire journey offers a fantastic opportunity for spooks, businessmen or politicians to snoop on citizens."

That war is already lost. Use public transport in London, and you are not only recorded at the Oyster machines, you are on a plethora of CCTVs (as you would anywhere else). So stop complaining, or fight this state of affairs. Or tilt at windmills.

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Anonymous Coward 101
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We are still waiting on a version of the Oyster card for other cities in the UK. Whenever I am travelling around Edinburgh or Glasgow, it's always a pain to either pay with coins or credit card the whole time.

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DINOSAUR BLOOD: JUST RIGHT, as Goldilocks might say, if drinking it

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Jurassic period had FOUR TIMES the atmospheric density !

"Prepare yourself for a vastly different, expanded conscious reality that is dawning."

Should I take a brolly before I go out?

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UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Not renewables...

"The cause of the problem is not money spent on renewables; it's pure and simple ignorance among the public and politicians - and journalists."

The politicians are acting according to their interests, which is not to say they are evil or stupid, just putting off the unpopular thing to the future. Make no mistake, any strategic move to more gas, coal or nuclear would be unpopular with the greenies.

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Bitcoin ransomware racket makes bank

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Re. Crypto-Malware

"Obviously with a quantum computer it is even easier than that but that would be tricky as most of these are owned by Governments although work on my version is progressing well."

Please keep us informed on the progress of your quantum computer!

My time machine is coming along well. If you have any flux capacitors or underpowered 80's sports cars going spare that would be useful.

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Four years in chokey for Haxxor behind George W Bush NUDE SELFIES

Anonymous Coward 101
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"The Romanian taxi-driver-by-day-hacker-by-night who offended the world by publishing stolen nude self portraits of former US president George W Bush has been sentenced to four years jail."

The very story you linked to doesn't say anything about nude selfies, nor do any of the comments. It took me about one minute to read it.

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Everyone can and should learn to code? RUBBISH, says Torvalds

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: @AC101

"Teaching someone to code, teaches them how to think."

People said exactly the same about latin. Maths teaches people how to think before coding ever should.

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Anonymous Coward 101
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The man is correct

Mandating that everyone learns some coding is a waste of time. Some people will just be bad or uninterested in it. It is rather akin to demanding that people learn latin or greek. Latin and greek scholars think it is so important, but the time is better spent elsewhere.

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EU privacy A-Team tells Google: Get a grip and obey OUR laws

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Oh Thank You Rubbish EU

Like you I long for the time when UKIP takes command of Britain, and we can make Great Britain safe for Google to break the law at will.

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GAME ON: Top 10 tellies for a World Cup kicking

Anonymous Coward 101
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The names...

Why do electronics companies insist on giving their non-smartphone products such terrible names? They look like high quality passwords, and are about as difficult to remember. What are their marketing departments thinking?

What is wrong with [company name] [cool series name] [size] ? The 'Panasonic Screenia 55 inch', for example?

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Ukrainian teen created in lab passes Turing Test – famous nutty prof

Anonymous Coward 101
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Making the chat bot a 13 year boy seems to be giving oneself an unfair advantage. Why not just make the chat bot a developmentally disabled 8 year old child thereby giving an easy excuse for lack of knowledge or writing ability?

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Doubletalk: Geeksphone Revolution dual-OS smartphone

Anonymous Coward 101
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'Micro SD storage expansion and a removable battery'

They must have read the forums here.

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Deploy a fake Bitcoin wallet to save your own

Anonymous Coward 101
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Bitcoin...

...isn't really the future of money, is it?

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Linux users at risk as ANOTHER critical GnuTLS bug found

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: How severe is this bug?

"And if someone gives you a free car, and explicitly states that it is not guaranteed, and that you are responsible for determining its fitness for purpose...?"

Right, Linux is free, therefore nobody has any right to expect anything from it? And we have to determine 'fitness for purpose': the implication being that if someone want to stick Linux on an old laptop, they have to scour every line of code to ensure there are no fatal security bugs?

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Anonymous Coward 101
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How severe is this bug?

How many people looked at this code before now?

And how capable were they to find errors?

If the answer to these questions is 1) very 2) few 3) not very, then we will know exactly how secure OSS is in practice, not theory.

I don't care if I can look at the code myself - I'm not capable of verifying the code is sound, and I don't have the time anyway. I am relying on specialists to do this job, just as people rely on me to do the thing I specialise in. If I buy a car, I want the fucking brakes to work correctly. I will not be amused if the brakes fail, and I am chided for not having checked them over myself.

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Office website HACKED: Passwords, addresses, phone numbers slurped

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Ubiquitous passwords

Get yourself a password locker. I use Keepass; it is free and multiplatform. I don't know how I lived without it.

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Snowden never blew a whistle, US spy boss claims

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: No public trial; no public evidence

"The prosecution evidence, the testimony, everything in the trial would be classified and concealed from public view."

That doesn't necessarily mean the trial would be unfair. It would only be unfair if the prosecution evidence was concealed from the defence legal team, which is a very different situation.

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Sony Xperia Z2: What we REALLY thought of this Android fondleslab

Anonymous Coward 101
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"I use my kettle every day. Before I bought it, I consulted reviews to get the best balance of time-to-boil, quietness, and efficiency."

Given that the efficiency of boiling some water is nearly 100%, I would love to find out the sensitivity of the monitoring equipment of these reviews.

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Microsoft Cortana EULA contains the Greatest Disclaimer of ALL TIME

Anonymous Coward 101
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I think Cortana was recently employed by the Premier League

"Like a real-world personal assistant, sometimes Cortana may...(iv) use compromising information gleaned about you to flog to the Sunday Mirror.

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Pirate Party runs aground in European Parliamentary elections

Anonymous Coward 101
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Yep, always have a ready made excuse for failure. The success of UKIP is down to voters wanting to stick two fingers up to the 'main' parties. Nigel Farage is a penis alright, but where does that leave Nick Clegg?

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Samsung chair regains consciousness

Anonymous Coward 101
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"According to The Korea Herald, he awoke while family members were watching a baseball game while visiting, and were “making noise” when Samsung Lions hitter Lee Seung-yeop hit a home run."

It isn't just Northern part of Korea where nonsensical stories emerge.

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NOT APPY: Black cab drivers enraged by Hailo as taxi tech wars rage on

Anonymous Coward 101
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Re: Showing their true colours

"Just goes to show what London Taxi Cab drivers are really like - a bunch of thugs who are prepared to resort to vandalism and violence to try to protect their monopoly"

It's very well moaning about it, but it's a successful strategy.

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Hello Moto... It's the Nokia Lumia 630

Anonymous Coward 101
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"Well, quite amazingly, Nokia omitted an automatic display brightness control, requiring you to fiddle with the display manually."

It cannot be! My monocle has just tumbled from my eye socket!

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