* Posts by jukejoint

122 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Apr 2011

El Reg mulls Forums icon portfolio shake-up

jukejoint

Scissors snipping the head off ...

...for things that reek of male privilege rolling in its own smegmess.

And what about something for the blues: some type of idiot icon we can attach to whatever's getting everyone down, perhaps a mashup of the Israeli & Palestinian flags.

Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

jukejoint
Childcatcher

Well at last, a sensible solution for [gas] cloud storage - if you can access your output later - but count me out, I don't want to be around when you restore your viles.

On another note, I certainly did not know so many - er, men, right men? - were anally offensive and proud of it. Yes you are real pieces of work. Tell me again how fabulous you are? OOH you made a stinky smell. What the hell.

EARTH was a BAKING LIFELESS DESERT for 5 MILLION years

jukejoint

I confess. I am Permian.

My family and I have been waiting for the right time to reveal ourselves. The only thing we haven't been able to figure out is how to hack a Yahoo group which the admins refuse to grant us permission. Other than that, this has been a great vacation and we've been enjoying great weather. You all are awesome.

Facebook won't pull unmarked police plates page

jukejoint

Re: Also...plate sweeping

"Ultimately, it is a vicious, circular game"

You are so right. Game it is, and not pleasant. I quit.

[Go Giants]

jukejoint
Childcatcher

Re: Also...plate sweeping

"Ultimately, it is a vicious, circular game"

You are so right. Game it is, and not pleasant. I quit.

[Go Giants]

Brighton marathon munchers banned from all-you-can-eat diner

jukejoint
Boffin

Just in time for the holidays: El Reg article reveals ALL!

Now, myself, I have to stand up twice to cast a shadow...

but what has been revealed here is that overeaters & gluttons exist who are NOT American...!!!

Looks like I'm readin' somethin' I ain't never read befo'.

Commentards who rip on Americans for piggish greed can kiss my go-to-hell.

Red Hat launches community contest to rename JBoss

jukejoint
Paris Hilton

wow - firstly...

to the one yclept 'Ben Holmes' : How sucketh must it to be thee, verily. Hie thee off this forum! Or stay according to thy will, sire.

Secondly, why not call it Babel, as in, Tower of? So many folks with buying power loves that old time religion.

or

Babel Away Dollars Application Server System (BADASS). Gives it a bit of edge.

Unbelievable that people spend the only life trying to chase more more more. How empty inside is Larry Ellison by the way? Empty as Paris? Emptier.

Shuttle Endeavour buzzes the Golden Gate Bridge

jukejoint

oh thank you

for yet another gorgeous photo of my Golden, Golden Gate. It's painted in 'International Orange'. To have the Endeavour make a pass over San Francisco Bay is apt and fitting. Most of us have also "slipped the surly bonds of earth" as well, thank god.

I down-voted those still on earth who felt it necessary to insinuate Republican dirt into their posts. Still grounded you are. What made the space program was imagination and education and the will to excel. Science is golden.

Reagan slams webmail providers for liberal bias

jukejoint
Windows

Oh That Guy

A relative of mine dated him briefly in highschool, as she confided to me years ago. She said he was a jerk.

Apparently he's still running true to form.

Sherlock, since this is a Captain Obvious-type comment.

Hipster craft site bans sales of blood and skulls

jukejoint

What's wrong with a second website for these items?

Step 1 Gather blood, skulls, bodily fluids, other detritus as desired

Step 2 Launch 'Ewwwwwtsy'

Step 3 $$$!

Airline leaves customer on hold for 15 hours

jukejoint
Coat

Re: The really don't "get it"

"Christ zipping 'round a velodrome" !

Thank you! Phrase collection is my specialty, and I applaud the above as an alluring alternative to "Jesus jumped-up Christ" & "Christ on a cracker".

A little known fact: after Jesus jumped up, he jumped down, turned around, picked a bale of cotton.

What happens when Facebook follows MySpace?

jukejoint
Alert

please wake up

"Time will tell, but I still would pay for a service now that helped me to keep track of everything and had some assurance of outliving me."

Living in a dream world, then, are we?

Kim Dotcom mounts freedom campaign

jukejoint
Angel

So that's where my invisible hand went.

I've been missing It. I shall smite him.

-God

Watch out for the GIGANTIC ALIEN JELLYFISH, warns space boffin

jukejoint

I've never seen her speak...

...I imagine the interviewer replied "OK, L. Ron, whatevs"

Stratfor settles class-action over Anon megahack with freebies

jukejoint
WTF?

@Harmony

perhaps you should post under another moniker when you name-call and sarcastigate.

How about, "Stratforever"?

UK spectrum row: What we need is more national disasters

jukejoint

Beware Motopayola

They like to place their "ex-employees" in gov't positions that have control over budgets, contracts, and vendor selection - they get hired due to their alleged crackerjack tech knowledge - and then they bring the business. Then they go rogue and forget who they're working for, hiring their friends, passing out Motopayola toys around the gov't hierarchy, privately trashing the emergency services they work for, forgetting they are supposed to pretend they don't work for Motopayola anymore while collecting a hefty gov't salary & benefits. The contract bidding was remarkable for its not being there...seriously.

Unless this is how it's done in the business - but I was shocked.

Being the "talent" - not in the IT arena - all one can do is sit back and marvel at the show.

IBM chiefs order pay freeze at US services tentacle

jukejoint
Facepalm

"Dough" Shelton? Really?

Or is it supposed to be 'Doug'? If it really is 'Dough', then the poor flatliners must feel tormented indeed.

(Icon for homonymous reasons...)

Apple hardware fixer Bob Mansfield retires from Cupertino

jukejoint
Pirate

Engineers are Awesome

I too, like Bob, walked away - 'retired' - from my job a year prior to additional monetary inducements...however, unlike Bob, the amount was closer to $,$$$s than $,$$$,$$$s.

One year later, I laugh at the $.$$$s more. Because I learned something: life under one's

own flag is sweeeeeeeeeet!

Linus Torvalds drops F-bomb on NVIDIA

jukejoint

Re: @AC

It's "Many here didn't when he swore at Adobe"

... 'sworn at' - perhaps he would have, after that nasty encounter with the Pineapple...

Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

jukejoint

Re: 'Pulling out'

well it just could be they invested because company honchos & servers knew the backstory & supported the whole enchilada -- except when it hit the paper plate (media).

as an aside, don't think the pedo coach Sandusky at Penn State is the whole enchilada either...just part of the rotting ingredients.

Apple design chief Jony Ive knighted - but not by the Queen

jukejoint

AB again!

"it seems none of us are immune to the giddy thrill of a wee dram of petulant, self-righteous, intolerant, judgemental and unsophisticated semi-anonymous judgement. I know I'm not."

Me either but here at the Reg I endeavor to be respectful. Other commentards may not realize the pains I take to use American spelling and American references and American humor in order to not be seen as patronizing my esteemed colleagues in England, wherever that is.

I like to laugh and even petulant self-righteous, intolerant, judgemental comments can be funny. For instance, I stayed out of the design argument (own opinions and who cares?) but had to laugh at the 'Look I've drawn a rectangle where's my knighthood?' comment. Now that was funny. Since I am a lady I did not guffaw, however I did laugh.

jukejoint

Re: AB@SB

Myself, I don't hate the Queen, in fact my Uncle adored her and because of Him I have a beautiful old tin commemorating her engagement to Prince Philip - about the size of a laptop, 2 inches deep, with a color photograph of the happy couple printed on it - and a souvenir coronation mug (he collected them, some very valuable, I don't think mine is). He always wanted to live in England yet did not get an opportunity to fulfill this wish.

I think you were harsh on SB in your message. I would rather ponce (like prancing, I would guess) on my estate cooking biscuits too. I can imagine some of what the Queen does, and no thank you.

Just wanted to make sure you didn't think that was a bad thing. Poncing around cooking biscuits, I mean.

jukejoint

Re: so few republicans

I totally agree...so many people are innately superior to others, which often comes from the families they were born into...so often NOT the rich, famous, or celebrated.

They are the lucky ones. I cannot imagine attending day after day of public, reported-upon events.

What I can imagine is prancing about my estate cooking biscuits and swishing my silks. I do that everyday...anonymously.

Living well is not only the best revenge, it's the best, period. It doesn't take a lot of money - it takes taste. And I don't have money, nor did I marry it. I just like things to be copacetic. Cheers darling!

'IT is no place for the little ladies', says Dell mouthpiece

jukejoint

Re: I don't think he can fairly be criticized for saying

oh yes I think he can be criticized....men are great at taking credit for women's help. IMO things not invented by men were either stepped on (suppressed, or credit given to a male) or unrecorded. Take literature. Also, can you write a sonnet if you haven't been considered important enough to read? Is it a climate for growth when you have to masquerade as another gender to get work published?

Take off your clothes AC, and let's see what we've got to work with. That's right honey, I'm married but I'm not dead! Don't worry about him, honey, it's just bizness. That's all. Good boy. Now go and fix your mommy a sandwich...oh can you get rid of your kids next weekend? I want to drag you around the benefit party and make all the other gals' implants implode....

Just one more thing I request honey: please be aware of how you 'talk over' us women. When speaking with a woman men seem to be casting about looking for any excuse to break the conversation - focusing gaze over the listener's head, breaking into the conversation to greet men that enter, starting conversations with said men and leaving prior conversation dangling! (Because, I know, it was too wordy/long/required attention.)

I happen to like men, ya know? It is hard to explain, sometimes, why. I guess I was Born That Way.

jukejoint
Paris Hilton

Typo or not?

I like the quote - is it a typo, or is the quote really equating a 'man' (singularly) with all 'women'?

That's hot! What about celebrities? Does he like celebrities?

Luv,

Paris

jukejoint

Re: Shirley not

Someone I know at university did a study of greeting cards for children, their illustrations and messages: in American shops, not the UK. All of them used certain colors for each gender (don't make me say which colors) and the images for boys without exception were action figures, superheroes, or some other entity, say, in the animal kingdom, in action or being powerful. Additionally, the words used were enhancements to the images of power, action, fun, and an invitation to participate in the world.

The cards for girls were uniformly depictions of princesses, queens, fairies and other representations of female power depicted in - without exception - passive poses holding flowers or food, and with passive phrasing like "you're sweet".

I should point out these observations were from the mainstream card shops carrying Hallmark, American Greetings, etc., & also at drugstores and discount stores, and not the boutique "hip" paper palaces in the affluent neighborhoods where you will find small-edition cards. (I wonder now how different, if at all, they might be.) This was a survey of cards mass-produced for the, um, masses.

This is but one example from one slice of marketing. I really don't think little girls have a real choice - it's what is produced for them.

In my 3rd year of school my favorite color was black. My mother said I could have any kind of hula hoop I wanted. I chose black...for my school bag, for everything. God bless my mother for getting me a black hula hoop.

NASA found filming August's Mars landing in California desert

jukejoint
Coat

A pocket nuclear power plant...

comes standard with my Detroit 8000 Cadillac of the Senses, and the rock-vaporizing laser; in this vehicle the laser has been reconfigured to be able to convert into a 360-degree wormhole creator in case of sudden Rapturing or Unavoidable Law Enforcement. Unconverted, it will still dissolve nuts, their trucks, & truck nuts when commanded. The only flaw is that the PNPP is not configured to charge an iphone. It will, however, get a party line started.

Social Network scribe to turn hefty Steve Jobs tome to popcorn-fodder

jukejoint

Ashton Kutcher is...

a rich celebrity - AKA: No One to give a chuff about. He has money and name recognition - also is quite the swordsman from what I understand...(Attn ladies: really? REALLY?) He is purported to handsome.

'Call Corporate Of Apple and tell them to stop there persuit!!'

jukejoint

Call Corporate of Anything

and ask them to donate to our skools,

Actually, you cannot because that is not a pre-recorded choice.

A live person at a call center - unless truly dedicated to customer service - will, like the proverbial monkey, bang at a keyboard and suggest one thing after another until something works or you both drop off the line from ennui...unless it's crossed their time limit where the person now transfers you to a supervisor who...will, like the..... /nodding off now

Biz prof disses Big Data as a fetish for info hoarders

jukejoint
Angel

Big Data: The Tower of Babel AGAIN?

"6 And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech."

Lo verily though I am a sinner and secular humanist and liberal peacenik & that most undeserving of creatures derived from Adam's rib, I say unto you: let us retreat into our BOWERS of BABBLE and read snail tracks. (Sorry have been out in the garden where I belong.)

Nympho hauled to loon-cooler after serial bonkathon brutality

jukejoint
Stop

Re: To all the "what if it was the other way round" commentards

@Mycho:

Oh dear Mycho, I so love your naivete and bravado and seeming endless innocence, however to get on in life you must learn a bit more, especially learning not to take what people spout at face value and then regurgitate it as if you do not have an independent thought. You do, my dear, have much to contribute, of that I am sure.

Rest assured your comment (in the 80s etc.)is ***total*** bullshit, and not true. Wherever you received that impression as the truth, or whoever advised you of same, please refuse further "input" from that source.

jukejoint

Title of Article should have been changed...

...to "Nympho hauled to loin cooler..."

I didn't get all the way through the comments, if my comment has duplicated someone else's, to them I say, you are brilliant.

To those who decry humor about these sexual assaults, precisely BECAUSE the victim roles have been switched makes it funny, at least to this rape survivor.

These comments are made in a cyberforum. We are not the investigating personnel, therefore, we joke.

Nokia's fontastic Pure wins 'design Oscar'

jukejoint

Re: It's a font...

"...please learn to respect..."

no thanks. blow it out your blowhole. please learn to respect that others think it's just an effing font.

Google throws weight behind network of 'reformed terrorists'

jukejoint

I am an unorthodox skateholder.

When the going gets tough, I skate. C ya!

Google Drive Issues on Mac

jukejoint
Paris Hilton

How do the bright boyz (all of them) test UI?

Do they put out a call for the commoner - or do they think they know everything already including how to act clueless?

How are their products 'proofed' - ?

I.E.: How are they sure Paris will use it and buy it without testing it on Paris?

I like apples.

jukejoint

Re: I like apples.

maybe I have cooked some in my fabulous pies and turnovers.

I really love apples in chicken salad with walnuts, or just stuffed into my mouth with cheese.

Or wrapped in phyllo & baked with - just name it.

My own sole tree is Granny Smith.

jukejoint

Re: I like apples.

maybe I have cooked some in my fabulous pies and turnovers.

My sole tree is Granny Smith.

why is there an Apple forum?

jukejoint

An Apple forum is needed

just in case there is ever a problem with one, we can go to the forum and get advice.

not a fangrl, just a satisfied user. when I migrated to pc from mac I always missed my mac features. after years on windows I went back to mac. I never missed those features.

Commentards! Know a good hosting firm? Recommend a good laptop?

jukejoint
Coat

Re: Chop and change

Ah yes, it will be perfect for smoothly rolling printing ink on your brayer & then rolling the ink onto your woodblock - if you are into block printing.

It's what comes to mind, sorry. You won't be able to call it a computerized image - however it is truly a 'digital' art.

Wannabe-human bots face 2012 Turing Test in Turing's old office

jukejoint

Re: Some humans probably wouldn't pass that test.

sadly (because he even exists at all...) the "most" bot-like human is currently on trial in Norway.

2,500 copycat hack attempts on abortion provider site – report

jukejoint

Why so many US hackers?

Simple. Campaign workers for Santorum are out of a job, and rather than do nothing...after all, an idle mind leads to the devil's workshop.

I can tell you unequivocally their minds are idle.

Killers laugh in face of death penalty threat, say US experts

jukejoint

Re: Shorten the appeal process

Oh yeah you Texans are reeeaaaal tough...so manly!

I feel quite sure in my statement that your last example is too close to the truth.

Because - are you sure Texas HAS an appeal process?

I've heard it called "the railroad".

jukejoint
Go

187 comments...

I found this too entrancing not to post.

When I clicked on this story, it said there were 187 comments.

187 is the penal code for homicide in the state of California.

Homicide comments!

(Not as lethal as the "homicide comet" featured in the sci-fi story I am writing...}

Megaupload case near collapse: report

jukejoint
Black Helicopters

Re: Can that prosecutor please explain...

"...they love that their government acts like world police..."

We don't. We detest it.

Here in the 'land of the free' the actual news is: Hollywood! Gosh we love our stories! We can't get enough of people behaving badly...and we also have lost the ability to detect the difference between truth and lip service (lies, for short). A LARGE percentage of the population drop out of high school - and why shouldn't they: the people's educational system is bloated with administrators, basically warehousing young people away from the 'adults', cheats the teachers out of a fair living wage as less important than acquiring real estate and "juice" in the halls of power, yet is highly successful as a political concept: save our schools save the children etc.

One must search for a while, if one is so inclined, for any higher level of discourse, for access to world media and viewpoints other than the addlepated jingoism provided at every turn - Google News features the lamest US publications and seems filtered. So whatever you might think the American people are for or against, first check if they KNOW about it. I am not being facetious!

Also - the rhetoric and fantasy that the US so much more advanced than other countries - this is trumpeted over and over without specifying in what area or discipline - it cannot be true for everything. And isn't, at all, consistently true for many things. I keep wondering why, the Cowboy of the World having shot itself in the foot so many times, it is still trying to lurch along on its old myths.

I passionately love my country. So do so many of us, who understand that what happens to me, happens to you... the web analogy. When force-fed lies day after day, it is not surprising that people have lost the taste of truth. Thankfully there are some people willing to go through the leavings to find it.

Techie stages 'strip down' protest at TSA 'harassment'

jukejoint
Childcatcher

Dildos and Americans?

Yes, prudish in public like the hypocrites we are trained to be. We moved into a new flat some years ago and I decided to put in a garden in the back. Shovel in ground, first thing dug up was an old dildo - and my 5 yr old was upset not to be given it as a toy.

jukejoint

don't think so

As a hetwoman I can say with confidence that we've seen enough. please.

You all think a lot more of it that we do, trust me.

PLANET-SWAP shock: Stars grabbed dirtballs from other clusters

jukejoint
Angel

what are words worth in the face of this stunning news?

oh fabulous space sauce....

I wandered lonely as a rogue planet

that floats on high o'er space shuttles and moons

when all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of boffins, commentards, buffoons;

Beside glowing panels, a curious frieze,

Whistling in the dark, shooting the breeze.

A million TVs to go dark across London

jukejoint

Re: South East News Bias ? - Nahhhhhh.......

I can't wait to visit.