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* Posts by jukejoint

87 posts • joined 25 Apr 2011

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Drone-assisted Swiss construct virtual 3D castle

jukejoint

Disappointed. Was hoping to catch a glimpse of the Prisoner. I didn't get inside though, and rumor has it he's not keen to leave anymore.

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Yahooligans! cower! as! COO! was! reportedly! SACKED! by! Mayer!

jukejoint

Re: Marissa Meyer == The New Carly Fiorina

There are blondes with brains or did you not get that memo?

Sorry to burst your bubble, Mr. A. Coward-McBitter, however if you have ever lived in California, you would realize that most of the bimbos here are male.

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US cops blew more than $26m buying 1.1m cell phone files from telcos

jukejoint
Alien

From the inside ---

in my previous incarnation working with police I've requested data from these carriers before, when there was no other way to get location information for callers talking suicide, callers unable to speak due to the stroke they just had, etc. Not everything is nefarious. Of course, not everything is innocent either, though I didn't see that. I do remember having to justify everything to the telcos - perhaps they are the real rulers of the world. Real rulers or not, they seriously need to upgrade their record keeping. They required us to fill out forms for every request, signed and of course noting the reason & particulars, except they never seemed to actually ask for them....they would pile up and eventually be taken away by our telco liaison...never any feedback on whether they were completed thoroughly enough, or whether any were missing...I would not call them gatekeepers at all. Each telco had their own precious form of course.

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New MacBook Pro: What's actually new, here?

jukejoint

My macbook pro trackpad is silent, always has been. I rarely shut down, just let it sleep, restart occasionally when changing settings. I have an earlier version (2008). I seem to be writing you from 2008, too. Oh the stuff I do on the computer, would make you all plotz.

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Oracle defends Larry Ellison's whopping package

jukejoint

He needs ALL of it.

His other package is tiny.

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

jukejoint

I don't drink beer but I am An Authority

First off, that GTA V Pi$wasser commercial, Pi$$ed me off. It violates the old rule of 'only you (a family member) - can call your brother fat' - for others the statement is a thrown gauntlet. On the other hand, it goes nicely along with our motto of 'America - F*ck Yeah!'

Secondly, I don't drink beer yet my other half does, and has been home-brewing at our home with a partner for almost 3 years, first started with 5 US gallons now brewing 10 US gallons at a time. (I looked it up - approx 8.3 UK imperial gallons). The process of brewing takes almost a workday and they usually barbecue many delicious items for lunch while they're waiting, and sample a bottle of two of their former brews for readiness, if recently brewed and fermented; and for joy, as they sample their older brews. Each gets about 48 bottles or pints to himself after every time. They ferment for about 2 weeks, then test, and bottle/label the beers and let them rest another 6 weeks.

Their setup is made up of rubber hoses, thingamajigs, heating kettle, carboys, all kinds of stuff which they sterilize and use over and over. They will laugh themselves silly over this article and the description of its brewing and price. I think their biggest expense was the large kettle with taps/connectors, whatever they are, and it was around 100 US.

They have a tasting party every year and a number of people come to sip samples in a blind tasting and choose their favorites as the guys make all kinds - IPAs, and lagers, and red ales or whatever the heck they all are, dark and light. They always brew from grains/hops and create their own recipes and labels. The winner of the tasting for the year is brewed in November for their 'Anniversay' brew.

Also - they cart their equipment outside to brew because our lovely home is very space-limited with a big yard. Then all inside to sterilize stuff, bottle & cap when ready, and label. Our downstairs bathroom is a bit spacious & so kept temp-controlled and is the 'fermentation room'. (It used to be the darkroom).

Since my beverage of choice is wine or liquor when I indulge, ours is a marriage made in heaven. The guys give it away to their friends and bring it to parties and celebrations. The only time one of their brews failed came after a year of brewing and they made an additonal brew for a wedding - it turned out flat, we use it for a marinade. The couple received another gift instead (weren't told in case they were superstitious).

Aside from that, I detest crowdfunding appeals from people who are financially fine. Unbelievable that they have raised that amount of money. Especially for stupid-a$$ consumer crap that makes its own crap.

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David Attenborough warns that humans have stopped evolving

jukejoint

through use of chemical hair colouring, natural blondes are becoming an endangered species

either that, or a species being preserved as the natural blondes resort to its use to stay that way.

'Blindingly Blonde' and "Faaaaaaaabulous"!

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jukejoint

Re: @skelband

you must have a different version:

"I care for nothing, all shall go" in mine ...

thanks for the Tennyson!

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Microsoft cans three 'pinnacle' certifications, sparking user fury

jukejoint

I'm fairly certain Don Jefe appreciates what one must go through to be a proper Domestic Engineer, even though the standards fluctuate from one situation to the next & the engineers themselves are not given much credit.

Re locomotive engineers, they are now being replaced with remote-control boxes worn by the yard crews. At least here in the US. Perhaps MS could retool some of them.

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Call centers under attack in targeted cyber-blackmail scheme

jukejoint

it's been going on for at least the last 5 years or so ---

and yes it's a pain and becoming more so.

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MIT boffin teases space-station probe's DARK MATTER DISCOVERY

jukejoint
WTF?

Whose ring do I kiss?

"But as for string theory - it cannot be proved or disproved, that's the issue with it."

I now comprehend. It is a religion then?

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Higgs data shows alternate reality will SWALLOW UNIVERSE

jukejoint

Robert Burns foresaw this already!

Ye Pow'rs wha mak auld space your care,

And dish out frights as bill o 'fare,

Auld Earth wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in wiggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,

Gie her a Higgis!

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jukejoint
Childcatcher

@ frumious bandersnatch

the magic and wonder of math is all I have left ... switching math 'methods' on schoolchildren who had already studied it for a few years (mid-elementary school) tossed a lot of us to the curb. One Friday we went home loving math. Monday we were to continue on using a new method - completely baffling - and at the same time efficiently giving us a round sense of failure.

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Don't Menshn the snore: Chick-lit queen's jabber site killed in its sleep

jukejoint
Big Brother

get away from me!

We don't need another right-wing numbtit in the US. In fact, we're trying to figure out what to do with the home-grown ones we already have.

Did no one tell this gladhander that we are a DANGEROUS country in which to raise a family? Huh? Huh?

We have guns. Guns, do you hear me?

(The right-wing numbtit is a common bird indeed.)

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Computers are 'electronic cocaine' that make you MANIC

jukejoint
Coat

RE Re-Verse Your Poetry @Noons

I've written a ghazalion of those.

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El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

jukejoint

Scissors snipping the head off ...

...for things that reek of male privilege rolling in its own smegmess.

And what about something for the blues: some type of idiot icon we can attach to whatever's getting everyone down, perhaps a mashup of the Israeli & Palestinian flags.

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Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

jukejoint
Childcatcher

Well at last, a sensible solution for [gas] cloud storage - if you can access your output later - but count me out, I don't want to be around when you restore your viles.

On another note, I certainly did not know so many - er, men, right men? - were anally offensive and proud of it. Yes you are real pieces of work. Tell me again how fabulous you are? OOH you made a stinky smell. What the hell.

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EARTH was a BAKING LIFELESS DESERT for 5 MILLION years

jukejoint

I confess. I am Permian.

My family and I have been waiting for the right time to reveal ourselves. The only thing we haven't been able to figure out is how to hack a Yahoo group which the admins refuse to grant us permission. Other than that, this has been a great vacation and we've been enjoying great weather. You all are awesome.

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Facebook won't pull unmarked police plates page

jukejoint

Re: Also...plate sweeping

"Ultimately, it is a vicious, circular game"

You are so right. Game it is, and not pleasant. I quit.

[Go Giants]

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jukejoint
Childcatcher

Re: Also...plate sweeping

"Ultimately, it is a vicious, circular game"

You are so right. Game it is, and not pleasant. I quit.

[Go Giants]

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Brighton marathon munchers banned from all-you-can-eat diner

jukejoint
Boffin

Just in time for the holidays: El Reg article reveals ALL!

Now, myself, I have to stand up twice to cast a shadow...

but what has been revealed here is that overeaters & gluttons exist who are NOT American...!!!

Looks like I'm readin' somethin' I ain't never read befo'.

Commentards who rip on Americans for piggish greed can kiss my go-to-hell.

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Red Hat launches community contest to rename JBoss

jukejoint
Paris Hilton

wow - firstly...

to the one yclept 'Ben Holmes' : How sucketh must it to be thee, verily. Hie thee off this forum! Or stay according to thy will, sire.

Secondly, why not call it Babel, as in, Tower of? So many folks with buying power loves that old time religion.

or

Babel Away Dollars Application Server System (BADASS). Gives it a bit of edge.

Unbelievable that people spend the only life trying to chase more more more. How empty inside is Larry Ellison by the way? Empty as Paris? Emptier.

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Shuttle Endeavour buzzes the Golden Gate Bridge

jukejoint

oh thank you

for yet another gorgeous photo of my Golden, Golden Gate. It's painted in 'International Orange'. To have the Endeavour make a pass over San Francisco Bay is apt and fitting. Most of us have also "slipped the surly bonds of earth" as well, thank god.

I down-voted those still on earth who felt it necessary to insinuate Republican dirt into their posts. Still grounded you are. What made the space program was imagination and education and the will to excel. Science is golden.

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Reagan slams webmail providers for liberal bias

jukejoint
Windows

Oh That Guy

A relative of mine dated him briefly in highschool, as she confided to me years ago. She said he was a jerk.

Apparently he's still running true to form.

Sherlock, since this is a Captain Obvious-type comment.

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Hipster craft site bans sales of blood and skulls

jukejoint

What's wrong with a second website for these items?

Step 1 Gather blood, skulls, bodily fluids, other detritus as desired

Step 2 Launch 'Ewwwwwtsy'

Step 3 $$$!

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Airline leaves customer on hold for 15 hours

jukejoint
Coat

Re: The really don't "get it"

"Christ zipping 'round a velodrome" !

Thank you! Phrase collection is my specialty, and I applaud the above as an alluring alternative to "Jesus jumped-up Christ" & "Christ on a cracker".

A little known fact: after Jesus jumped up, he jumped down, turned around, picked a bale of cotton.

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What happens when Facebook follows MySpace?

jukejoint
Alert

please wake up

"Time will tell, but I still would pay for a service now that helped me to keep track of everything and had some assurance of outliving me."

Living in a dream world, then, are we?

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Kim Dotcom mounts freedom campaign

jukejoint
Angel

So that's where my invisible hand went.

I've been missing It. I shall smite him.

-God

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Watch out for the GIGANTIC ALIEN JELLYFISH, warns space boffin

jukejoint

I've never seen her speak...

...I imagine the interviewer replied "OK, L. Ron, whatevs"

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Stratfor settles class-action over Anon megahack with freebies

jukejoint
WTF?

@Harmony

perhaps you should post under another moniker when you name-call and sarcastigate.

How about, "Stratforever"?

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UK spectrum row: What we need is more national disasters

jukejoint

Beware Motopayola

They like to place their "ex-employees" in gov't positions that have control over budgets, contracts, and vendor selection - they get hired due to their alleged crackerjack tech knowledge - and then they bring the business. Then they go rogue and forget who they're working for, hiring their friends, passing out Motopayola toys around the gov't hierarchy, privately trashing the emergency services they work for, forgetting they are supposed to pretend they don't work for Motopayola anymore while collecting a hefty gov't salary & benefits. The contract bidding was remarkable for its not being there...seriously.

Unless this is how it's done in the business - but I was shocked.

Being the "talent" - not in the IT arena - all one can do is sit back and marvel at the show.

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IBM chiefs order pay freeze at US services tentacle

jukejoint
Facepalm

"Dough" Shelton? Really?

Or is it supposed to be 'Doug'? If it really is 'Dough', then the poor flatliners must feel tormented indeed.

(Icon for homonymous reasons...)

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Apple hardware fixer Bob Mansfield retires from Cupertino

jukejoint
Pirate

Engineers are Awesome

I too, like Bob, walked away - 'retired' - from my job a year prior to additional monetary inducements...however, unlike Bob, the amount was closer to $,$$$s than $,$$$,$$$s.

One year later, I laugh at the $.$$$s more. Because I learned something: life under one's

own flag is sweeeeeeeeeet!

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Linus Torvalds drops F-bomb on NVIDIA

jukejoint

Re: @AC

It's "Many here didn't when he swore at Adobe"

... 'sworn at' - perhaps he would have, after that nasty encounter with the Pineapple...

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Another investor pulls out of Habbo Hotel after grooming claims

jukejoint

Re: 'Pulling out'

well it just could be they invested because company honchos & servers knew the backstory & supported the whole enchilada -- except when it hit the paper plate (media).

as an aside, don't think the pedo coach Sandusky at Penn State is the whole enchilada either...just part of the rotting ingredients.

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Apple design chief Jony Ive knighted - but not by the Queen

jukejoint

AB again!

"it seems none of us are immune to the giddy thrill of a wee dram of petulant, self-righteous, intolerant, judgemental and unsophisticated semi-anonymous judgement. I know I'm not."

Me either but here at the Reg I endeavor to be respectful. Other commentards may not realize the pains I take to use American spelling and American references and American humor in order to not be seen as patronizing my esteemed colleagues in England, wherever that is.

I like to laugh and even petulant self-righteous, intolerant, judgemental comments can be funny. For instance, I stayed out of the design argument (own opinions and who cares?) but had to laugh at the 'Look I've drawn a rectangle where's my knighthood?' comment. Now that was funny. Since I am a lady I did not guffaw, however I did laugh.

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jukejoint

Re: AB@SB

Myself, I don't hate the Queen, in fact my Uncle adored her and because of Him I have a beautiful old tin commemorating her engagement to Prince Philip - about the size of a laptop, 2 inches deep, with a color photograph of the happy couple printed on it - and a souvenir coronation mug (he collected them, some very valuable, I don't think mine is). He always wanted to live in England yet did not get an opportunity to fulfill this wish.

I think you were harsh on SB in your message. I would rather ponce (like prancing, I would guess) on my estate cooking biscuits too. I can imagine some of what the Queen does, and no thank you.

Just wanted to make sure you didn't think that was a bad thing. Poncing around cooking biscuits, I mean.

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jukejoint

Re: so few republicans

I totally agree...so many people are innately superior to others, which often comes from the families they were born into...so often NOT the rich, famous, or celebrated.

They are the lucky ones. I cannot imagine attending day after day of public, reported-upon events.

What I can imagine is prancing about my estate cooking biscuits and swishing my silks. I do that everyday...anonymously.

Living well is not only the best revenge, it's the best, period. It doesn't take a lot of money - it takes taste. And I don't have money, nor did I marry it. I just like things to be copacetic. Cheers darling!

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'IT is no place for the little ladies', says Dell mouthpiece

jukejoint

Re: I don't think he can fairly be criticized for saying

oh yes I think he can be criticized....men are great at taking credit for women's help. IMO things not invented by men were either stepped on (suppressed, or credit given to a male) or unrecorded. Take literature. Also, can you write a sonnet if you haven't been considered important enough to read? Is it a climate for growth when you have to masquerade as another gender to get work published?

Take off your clothes AC, and let's see what we've got to work with. That's right honey, I'm married but I'm not dead! Don't worry about him, honey, it's just bizness. That's all. Good boy. Now go and fix your mommy a sandwich...oh can you get rid of your kids next weekend? I want to drag you around the benefit party and make all the other gals' implants implode....

Just one more thing I request honey: please be aware of how you 'talk over' us women. When speaking with a woman men seem to be casting about looking for any excuse to break the conversation - focusing gaze over the listener's head, breaking into the conversation to greet men that enter, starting conversations with said men and leaving prior conversation dangling! (Because, I know, it was too wordy/long/required attention.)

I happen to like men, ya know? It is hard to explain, sometimes, why. I guess I was Born That Way.

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jukejoint
Paris Hilton

Typo or not?

I like the quote - is it a typo, or is the quote really equating a 'man' (singularly) with all 'women'?

That's hot! What about celebrities? Does he like celebrities?

Luv,

Paris

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jukejoint

Re: Shirley not

Someone I know at university did a study of greeting cards for children, their illustrations and messages: in American shops, not the UK. All of them used certain colors for each gender (don't make me say which colors) and the images for boys without exception were action figures, superheroes, or some other entity, say, in the animal kingdom, in action or being powerful. Additionally, the words used were enhancements to the images of power, action, fun, and an invitation to participate in the world.

The cards for girls were uniformly depictions of princesses, queens, fairies and other representations of female power depicted in - without exception - passive poses holding flowers or food, and with passive phrasing like "you're sweet".

I should point out these observations were from the mainstream card shops carrying Hallmark, American Greetings, etc., & also at drugstores and discount stores, and not the boutique "hip" paper palaces in the affluent neighborhoods where you will find small-edition cards. (I wonder now how different, if at all, they might be.) This was a survey of cards mass-produced for the, um, masses.

This is but one example from one slice of marketing. I really don't think little girls have a real choice - it's what is produced for them.

In my 3rd year of school my favorite color was black. My mother said I could have any kind of hula hoop I wanted. I chose black...for my school bag, for everything. God bless my mother for getting me a black hula hoop.

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NASA found filming August's Mars landing in California desert

jukejoint
Coat

A pocket nuclear power plant...

comes standard with my Detroit 8000 Cadillac of the Senses, and the rock-vaporizing laser; in this vehicle the laser has been reconfigured to be able to convert into a 360-degree wormhole creator in case of sudden Rapturing or Unavoidable Law Enforcement. Unconverted, it will still dissolve nuts, their trucks, & truck nuts when commanded. The only flaw is that the PNPP is not configured to charge an iphone. It will, however, get a party line started.

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Social Network scribe to turn hefty Steve Jobs tome to popcorn-fodder

jukejoint

Ashton Kutcher is...

a rich celebrity - AKA: No One to give a chuff about. He has money and name recognition - also is quite the swordsman from what I understand...(Attn ladies: really? REALLY?) He is purported to handsome.

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'Call Corporate Of Apple and tell them to stop there persuit!!'

jukejoint

Call Corporate of Anything

and ask them to donate to our skools,

Actually, you cannot because that is not a pre-recorded choice.

A live person at a call center - unless truly dedicated to customer service - will, like the proverbial monkey, bang at a keyboard and suggest one thing after another until something works or you both drop off the line from ennui...unless it's crossed their time limit where the person now transfers you to a supervisor who...will, like the..... /nodding off now

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Biz prof disses Big Data as a fetish for info hoarders

jukejoint
Angel

Big Data: The Tower of Babel AGAIN?

"6 And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech."

Lo verily though I am a sinner and secular humanist and liberal peacenik & that most undeserving of creatures derived from Adam's rib, I say unto you: let us retreat into our BOWERS of BABBLE and read snail tracks. (Sorry have been out in the garden where I belong.)

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Nympho hauled to loon-cooler after serial bonkathon brutality

jukejoint
Stop

Re: To all the "what if it was the other way round" commentards

@Mycho:

Oh dear Mycho, I so love your naivete and bravado and seeming endless innocence, however to get on in life you must learn a bit more, especially learning not to take what people spout at face value and then regurgitate it as if you do not have an independent thought. You do, my dear, have much to contribute, of that I am sure.

Rest assured your comment (in the 80s etc.)is ***total*** bullshit, and not true. Wherever you received that impression as the truth, or whoever advised you of same, please refuse further "input" from that source.

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jukejoint

Title of Article should have been changed...

...to "Nympho hauled to loin cooler..."

I didn't get all the way through the comments, if my comment has duplicated someone else's, to them I say, you are brilliant.

To those who decry humor about these sexual assaults, precisely BECAUSE the victim roles have been switched makes it funny, at least to this rape survivor.

These comments are made in a cyberforum. We are not the investigating personnel, therefore, we joke.

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Nokia's fontastic Pure wins 'design Oscar'

jukejoint

Re: It's a font...

"...please learn to respect..."

no thanks. blow it out your blowhole. please learn to respect that others think it's just an effing font.

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Google throws weight behind network of 'reformed terrorists'

jukejoint

I am an unorthodox skateholder.

When the going gets tough, I skate. C ya!

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Google Drive Issues on Mac

jukejoint
Paris Hilton

How do the bright boyz (all of them) test UI?

Do they put out a call for the commoner - or do they think they know everything already including how to act clueless?

How are their products 'proofed' - ?

I.E.: How are they sure Paris will use it and buy it without testing it on Paris?

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