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* Posts by Sir Barry

119 posts • joined 20 Apr 2011

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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

Sir Barry
Stop

Sheesh

"panicky fans moaning to Twitter saying shouty things like "Get it fixed NOW!!!" and "PLEASE IM LITERALLY GONNA CRY PLEASE SORT IT OUT.""

Some people need to get a life

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El Reg preps relaunch of Cash’n’Carrion online merchandise emporium

Sir Barry

If T shirts come in extra fat then I may be tempted....

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Thanks for suggesting eBay should flog PayPal. It's not happening, CEO tells Carl Icahn

Sir Barry

When paypal is contributing 40% of revenue to the company why would eBay spin it off?

Icahn just buys into a business and then tries disruption tactics so he can make a profit, he should get out and do a real job.

I was going to use loads of swearwords and call him names, but waited 5 minutes to calm down before posting.

*sigh*

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Virgin Media's 'little(ish)' book of deals contained BIG FIBS, rules ad watchdog

Sir Barry

Ooh, Virgin Media get told off again.

They must tremble at the mighty power of the ASA...

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I'm in: Peter 'Dragons' Den' Jones launches bid to buy out Expansys

Sir Barry

"Peter Jones' other assets include the firm that makes the rather yummy Reggae Reggae sauce."

That sauce is absolutely crap, we make better at home ourselves. There has been some bloody good marketing to get that onto the supermarket shelves.

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MPs: Ancient UK Border Force systems let GANGSTERS into Blighty

Sir Barry

We should outsource border security to the Australians.

Has anyone seen Border Security: Australia's Front Line?

Those fellas know how to do it.

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UK.gov declares digital success as PR, food shops redefined as 'tech' businesses

Sir Barry

Just more spin...

My company has a website, does this mean we are now a digital business?

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IDS finally admits what EVERYONE ELSE already knows: Universal Credit will be late

Sir Barry

Re: Good job Iain-Duckegg-Smith doesn't work at Tescos.

The thicko in me had to look up the meaning of the word 'tautology'

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SourceForge responds to GIMP grump with crowdsourcing caper

Sir Barry

This is a good start, I'm pleased to see Sourceforge responding in a fairly positive manner.

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Ricoh Theta 360˚ camera: Point and click immersive imaging

Sir Barry

Re: Crosses several boxes for me

Currently it is iOS only, but there are plans for an Android app on its way by the end of the year.

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How my batch process nightmare was solved by a Wombat

Sir Barry
Pint

Happy Birthday Alistair, have a pint.

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GIMP flees SourceForge over dodgy ads and installer

Sir Barry

Well done GIMP peeps, I wish more outfits would take a stance against this cloaked spam crap.

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Facebook gives THUMBS DOWN to its OWN design makeover

Sir Barry

Re: give me a dislike button

"Like"

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The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

Sir Barry

Personally, I don't think it warrants historical status, I'm neutral regarding Apple, but I just think this is silly.

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Sir Barry

Seriously?

Steve was a bloke that started a business.

As I said, seriously?

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Twitter duped us, coupon-clippers claim

Sir Barry

If the facts are correct shouldn't "Twitter-approved buyer GSV Capital Management" be the company being sued or am I missing something?

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Baldness fix from foreskin follicles

Sir Barry

This brings a whole new meaning to the term dickhead...

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Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

Sir Barry

Re: All hail the mighty teasmade!!!

"Now, if only someone could come up with the baconsarniesmade..."

Just get this baby and put a timer on your plug socket:

http://www.hamiltonbeach.com/breakfast-breakfast-sandwich-maker-25475.html

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Free Cocaine giveaway from Russian search engine Yandex

Sir Barry

SNORT!!

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SEC asks Affiliated Computer Services to step aside, snaps on rubber glove

Sir Barry
Joke

Xerox can put forward a very simple defence. They use their own copiers, you know, the ones that screw up the OCR and change numbers.

If anyone needs a reference.... http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/08/06/xerox_copier_flaw_means_dodgy_numbers_and_dangerous_designs/

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Judge smites IBM's anti-Amazon cloud campaign

Sir Barry

IBM's proposal may have been cheaper but did they include the typical cost over runs?

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

Sir Barry
Pint

BEER!

That is all.

Hic.

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Apple wins patent for entrance to retail store

Sir Barry

If Apple can patent that I'm gonna patent everything I can think of, chairs, doors, tables...

I'm gonna be RICH!

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WD unveils new MyBook line: External drives now bigger... and CHEAP

Sir Barry

Is this an advert?

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The NSA's hiring - and they want a CIVIL LIBERTIES officer

Sir Barry
Joke

I think they have taken enough liberties already

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China's 'Big Vs' disown selves online to avoid new gossip laws

Sir Barry

Re: How do you like your porridge?

Um, sharing a cell with Fletcher...

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Sir Barry

Re: Oh dear

How do you like your porridge?

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Hacker cracks Vodafone Germany, steals data of 2 million customers

Sir Barry

"It is virtually impossible to use the data to get directly access to the bank accounts of those affected,"

I do like it when words like "virtually" are used, it is either possible or impossible there should be no grey areas.

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Lip-wobbling boffins: Eating Chinese food is like kissing a vibrator

Sir Barry

"Kissing the vibrator"

Were there any extra curricular activities?

We need to know and see the video!

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Corel re-animates zombie brand for patent case

Sir Barry

Why can't companies focus on making a great product instead of all this litigation?

The only real winners here are the lawyers.

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BT doles out measly 2GB to customers in Dropbox-alike BT Cloud

Sir Barry

Tencent in China - 10TB

Now that is impressive, but how secure?

I guess the NSA can't rummage through your files there......

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Gov IT write-off: Universal Credit system flushes £34m down toilet

Sir Barry

"The UK's spending watchdog has scolded the Department for Work and Pensions for so far wasting £34m of taxpayer money"

Scolded?

I thought they would be praised for wasting so little compared to other projects that ran over budget, failed, were crap etc...

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Facebook strips away a bit more of your privacy – but won't say why

Sir Barry

I don't use Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn, all a waste of time in my opinion as I'm a consumer not a product for their advertising chums.

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'Hacked' estate agency Foxtons breaks glass, pulls password reset cord

Sir Barry
Joke

OutFoxed?

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Horrific moment curvy mum-of-none Mail Online spills everyone's data

Sir Barry
Pint

"The Register has very kindly done the legwork for the Mail by passing on the details of the blunder to the ICO."

heh heh, have a pint

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Xerox copier flaw changes numbers in scanned docs

Sir Barry

"However, Xerox says that the problem is essentially due to the settings users have put into individual copiers"

Nope, the problem is due to the corners cut by Xerox. Modern digital Multi Functional Devices should replicate what is being copied or scanned without interfering with the content.

Placing the blame on the user is a pretty poor way of excusing an inferior product.

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CSC enslaves Infochimps to create army of big data monkeymen

Sir Barry

"A CSC spokesman told The Register that no redundancies are planned"

They forgot to include the word 'yet'.

How long before CSC announce a rationalisation of the chimps and hundreds get booted out of the safari park?

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IBM committed 'ethical transgressions' to win botched project

Sir Barry

I stand corrected, my apologies, I am a little hard of thinking...

Upvote for the correction

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Sir Barry

Why am I not surprised?

My company has partnered with BB in the past and I was, how should I put it, somewhat surprised at their aggressive nature in pursuing the ££'s even at the detriment to the client.

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Icahn sues Dell's board over Big Mike's buyout bid

Sir Barry

Abstain - To refrain from something by one's own choice.

Based on that definition I think the abstained votes should not be count for or against.

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Hundreds of UK CSC staff face chop, told to train Indian replacements

Sir Barry

If I was going to outsource to this bunch of mercenaries I would make sure that the contract included a clause stopping the work and jobs being sent outside of the UK forever and not for a fixed term.

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WHOMP: Mega UK services player Phoenix IT falls back into the ashes

Sir Barry

I thought something was going on. I noticed that one of their two warehouses in Northamptonshire had shut down around three weeks ago.

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Murdoch machinations mean Microsoft must rename SkyDrive

Sir Barry

NotSkyDrive

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Comrade! If you dare f$%^ing swear on the internet, WE'LL SHOOT

Sir Barry

Gosh.

That is all.

Carry on...

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'Wandering Dago' tuck truck ejected from NY race track

Sir Barry

"Last year, Wandering Dago was denied a permit to sell food at the Empire State Plaza in Albany, on similar grounds"

Maybe they should of taken the hint and gone for a name change.....

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Assange™ names a Senatorial stand-in

Sir Barry

I've just had a thought, Westminster City Council should be charging him council tax.

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'Nearly 1,350' HP Enterprise Services staffers strike over redundancies – union

Sir Barry

"According to the PCS, HP is transferring those Sheffield roles to Newcastle and north of the border to Erskine to bag a multi-million pound grant from the Scottish government."

And that is why Scottish Gov should tell HP to sod off.

But they won't because that would be an ethical action.

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Burger-rage horse dumps on McDonald's: Rider saddled with fat fine

Sir Barry

No video, but the Daily Fail has some crappy photos....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2373248/Woman-takes-horse-inside-McDonalds-Whitefield-defecates-floor.html

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