* Posts by Sir Barry

167 posts • joined 20 Apr 2011

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Assange's WikiLeaks: Give generously this Xmas – for STATUE of our DEAR LEADER

Sir Barry

Courage?

Is that what hiding in an Embassy is now called then?

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Sir Barry

Ooh, mass debate in Parliament?

There is a bunch there perfectly suited.....

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Virgin Media's ad fibs EXPOSED by bitter rival BT

Sir Barry

So VM get told off, whoopee friggin do.

Who actually funds the ASA?

Disband the toothless organisation and save some money as they don't do anything.

4
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FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Sir Barry

Never mind about Sony, that Sega advert is pure class, made me feel like I was 15 again.

0
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TalkTalk's 'unbeatable signal strength' and 'fastest Wi-Fi tech' FIBS silenced by ad watchdog

Sir Barry

I'm waiting for one ISP to create a new advert:

<Insert ISP name> is the most honest broadband provider, we have only been told off by the ASA 1,355* times in the past 90 days which is less than any other provider.

* Correct at time of publishing, this figure may increase with our new marketing campaign.

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CURE for DEATH (by PowerPoint) emerges from Japan

Sir Barry

It would take me more than twenty seconds to write this pos

1
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Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

Sir Barry

Personally, I don't care about a persons sexuality. Trolling morons shouldn't be allowed to access the internet.

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How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

Sir Barry

WTF???

I've seen art students put on a better show than that lot in the video.

I'm going down to the Students Union with a video camera, maybe I can score a wad of cash with the results.

0
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Marissa! Mayer! ends! 21! month! dry! spell! as! Yahoo! sales! grow!

Sir Barry

Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Icahn and I DID: eBay volte-faces, spins PayPal into separate biz

Sir Barry

I wonder if this has anything to do with eBay's UK tax arrangements.....

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Game pirates 'donate' compute power to Bitcoin miners

Sir Barry

I'm quite happy to hear thieving gits are getting nailed. Maybe this will discourage one or two from stealing.

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Sir Barry

I always said cameras and the internet on mobile phones would never catch on.

I'll say the same about these new fangled watch thingies, give it a year and they'll be forgotten.

Now watch some smartarse produce something indispensable that everybody really needs...

2
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Salesforce cloud goes titsup: Users face another long weekend

Sir Barry
Pint

This is why I don't use cloud offerings personally. Everything is on my computer/external hard drive.

Yes, cloud computing can be convenient when on the move, but you ain't going to get far when it isn't available.

Beer as it is nearly lunchtime in the UK and the weekend is about to start!

4
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eBay, Facebook, Tumblr ALL go TITSUP in me-too MULTI-FAIL

Sir Barry

Thank God I still had Myspace....

2
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LOHAN gets laughing gear round promotional mug

Sir Barry
Pint

Excellent, I'll be ordering a t-shirt in Extra Fat.

Beer coz the weekend is starting now!

0
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Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Sir Barry
Pint

If I had the cash I would buy it just for the novelty.

Samsung (the company) should buy it, place it in a decent frame and display it in HQ Reception.

Beer coz it's Friday and I have a whole week off work to look forward to.

Cheers...

1
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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Sir Barry

This is all well and good, but did you make it to your user group meetup?

3
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FREE PARTY for TEN lucky Australian Reg readers

Sir Barry

High Expectations

You think commentards have friends and know how to behave themselves?

Gosh

1
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You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

Sir Barry

ASA Involvement?

Gosh

A telling off and being accused of being smelly!!

Don't tell me, the Advertising Standards Authority were brought on board as advisers weren't they?

1
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BT slapped down by BSkyB over O2 broadband 'switch off' porkies

Sir Barry

Standard Form Letter

Which ends with this copy & paste line:

"told <insert offenders name> that the ad had misled customers and must not appear again in its current form"

4
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TalkTalk talks itself into trouble with budget broadband package fibs

Sir Barry

<Carlsberg voice> The ASA, probably the most useless regulator in the world, </Carlsberg voice>

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Windows users: You get a patch! And you get a patch! And you get a patch! Everybody gets...

Sir Barry

"The one that hasn't spent any money with them for some time?"

Nope, I purchased a Windows 7 Acer laptop for the other half some time ago.

Good point though.

0
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Sir Barry

I have an 8 year old HP laptop running XP. I can't see it coping with the new flavours of Windows so have no plans to change the OS.

There are only a few sites I visit using it, my Mrs has a Windows 7 laptop if I want to explore, and of course, at work I'm using a company laptop so there is no access to norty/dodgy sites.

I understand the commercial reasons for discontinuing support for XP, but why alienate your customer base?

3
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iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

Sir Barry
Coat

As I was reading this I thought "this smells fishy" as will some of the app users I expect...

4
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Mystery bidder plunders the whole haul in Silk Road Bitcoin auction

Sir Barry

My money is on the Winklepicker twins seeing as they are such staunch advocates of Bitcoin as demonstrated by the creation of the Winklevoss Bitcoin Trust.

1
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Official: MoJ IT workers on STRIKE over outsourcing job fears

Sir Barry

Can we outsource Parliament and the idiots working there who are allowing this ongoing stupidity to continue?

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'World’s dumbest' suspect collared in Facebook sting

Sir Barry

Re: He must like jail.

Facebook user, enough said?

24
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Shine on you crazy diamond: Distant dwarf may hide space jewel

Sir Barry
Pint

"Insert your Keanu Reeves joke here"

Excellent.

You have won a pint.

3
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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Sir Barry

Does he feel born again?

Looking for a womb with a view?

After his pics are posted all over the interwebs does he feel like a real ****?

3
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Wi-Fi WarKitteh and DDoS Dog to stalk Defcon 22

Sir Barry
Coat

America's 80 million dogs and 96 million cats into his purr-sonal electronic army

Introducing these Dogs of War could be a Catastrophe...

2
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DAMN you El Reg, CALL ME A BOFFIN, demands enraged boffin

Sir Barry

El Reg boffed by a boffin!

Can the said boffin issue the sarcastic comment anyway as I would like to see what a boffin defines as sarcastic.

15
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HP Simplivity buyout rumours: Could it be worth HALF a BILLION?

Sir Barry

HP need to employ an accountant to review the Simplivity financials before committing to a buy offer.

1
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Google uses disruptive 'poem' tech to announce new Chromebook availability

Sir Barry

We are told to compute in the cloud

and I think to myself aloud

Compute using a chromebook

I don't think so

I couldn't give a fook

1
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I saved Pinterest's business and all I have to show for it is a t-shirt

Sir Barry

pinterest is a known bug, well it bugs me anyway...

1
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LifeLock snaps shut Wallet mobile app over credit card leak fears

Sir Barry

Ref Really?

Yeah, really.

I would prefer a data wipe instead of my bank account being cleaned out.

There's no pleasing some people, you're bleating about a company taking a responsible attitude towards customer security, but if they remained lax and indifferent you would bleat about that too.

2
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Sir Barry
Thumb Up

Good to see a company being proactive over security rather than waiting for a breach.

6
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Software 'appointed to board' of venture capital firm

Sir Barry

HAL will be disappointed for missing out on the job.

0
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Internet rejoices over Star Wars, um, clapboard pic

Sir Barry
Pint

*clap*

bored

That is all, have a pint and carry on...

1
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Bolshy investor takes another bite of Apple, ups stake to $4.4 BEEELLLION

Sir Barry

iCahneatApple?

This predator should be banned from the business world, he has no interest in a company, just how much money he can take out of them. This is stifling growth and possibly, innovation, he should start a patent troll firm, I'm sure he would do very well at that.

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Graphics pros left hanging as Adobe Creative Cloud outage nears 24 hours

Sir Barry

Tell me again, what is so good about cloud computing?

2
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Dixons tells HQ workers: Yes, that IS a creaky trapdoor you hear. You're at risk of redundo

Sir Barry

When I worked there until 2006 there was circa 2,000 bods employed across 3 buildings, they must have shed a load of jobs under the table.

If Carphone Warehouse has a HQ in the same town then I apologise, just let the 500 go, poor buggers.

Anyhoos, DSGi are well known for their *shortsightedness when it comes to cost cutting, just make a few more jobs redundant, save some cash, the chief exec gets a bonus and then moves on when the brown stuff hits the ceiling whirligig...

*Yup, I got hit with redundancy and after the second time just walked.

0
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Carphone Warehouse, Dixons embroiled in £3.7bn merger rumour

Sir Barry

Does this mean we'll be able to buy extended warranties for mobes?

0
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King's stocks are candy-crushed as its top toy suffers splurge slump

Sir Barry

Coming soon

Stock Bubble Burst Saga...

29
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Watch a bank-raiding ZeuS bot command post get owned in 60 seconds

Sir Barry

What was that horrible noise throughout the video?

1
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Please work for nothing, Mr Dabbs. What can you lose?

Sir Barry
Pint

Re: >> I read this on Saturday

Bugger.

How about a pint instead?

1
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Sir Barry
Joke

I read this on Saturday - unpaid, in my own time.

My time was wasted and I want a refund for the 25 minutes of my life lost (15 minutes reading and 10 minutes writing this).

0
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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Sir Barry

English

In my local lingo it would be The dogs bollocks...

1
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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

Sir Barry
Stop

Sheesh

"panicky fans moaning to Twitter saying shouty things like "Get it fixed NOW!!!" and "PLEASE IM LITERALLY GONNA CRY PLEASE SORT IT OUT.""

Some people need to get a life

10
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El Reg preps relaunch of Cash’n’Carrion online merchandise emporium

Sir Barry

If T shirts come in extra fat then I may be tempted....

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