* Posts by Sir Barry

188 posts • joined 20 Apr 2011

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Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

Sir Barry

Charge 'em

When these prats phone up with idiotic requests like this the cops should charge something like £25 for wasting police time.

And this should be court enforceable with Community Payback if the chumps don't cough up.

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And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Sir Barry

Clever Move

Amazon are on the ball, how many new Prime sign ups are they going to get?

I gave up on the show a long time ago so I won't be one.

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Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Sir Barry

There's a joke about Clinton and Bush in there somewhere.

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Citrix CEO retires as activist investor Elliott snatches the wheel

Sir Barry

BB

"missed a profound value creation opportunity"

Yay, bullshit bingo!

All I have to do now is squeeze that into a conversation...

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LinkedIn users rebel after personal data siphon crimped

Sir Barry

Fake Invites

I've started getting connection requests which I find a bit strange.

I don't have an account with LinkedIn or any social media site.

I wonder how I've managed to become so popular....

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Germany says no steamy ebooks until die Kinder have gone to bed

Sir Barry

What restrictions do they have in place at libraries then?

Is there an adults only smut corner?

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Ex-cop: Holborn fireball comms outage cover for £200m bling heist gang

Sir Barry

John O’Connor, former head of Scotland Yard's Flying Squad

Reading his theory explains why he is "former" rather than "current".

I have my own theory - the fire was started by Sky/Virgin/Talk Talk in a hissy fit against BT Openreach.

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Vultures victorious in virtual vote vis-à-vis virtualization views!

Sir Barry
Pint

Re: Congratulations!!!!

More than one is required........

Cheers!

1
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It's the FALKLANDS SYNDROME! Fukushima MELTDOWN to cause '10,000 Chernobyls' in South Atlantic

Sir Barry
Pint

I enjoyed that story, you have been awarded one pint.

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Life after Lord Shugs looks good, as Viglen directors' packages swell

Sir Barry

I just popped onto their website, primary business is public sector, health and education.

Manufactures desktops, laptops servers etc

Lifted this:

A major solution supplier to the corporate, education and public sectors, Viglen supplies information technology hardware, software and technical support to two thirds of Britain’s universities, culminating in Viglen becoming the principal supplier in over half of these, including Oxford and Cambridge. Viglen is also the fastest growing ICT solutions provider to schools in the UK.

Specialising in the design and implementation of quality, bespoke IT solutions, Viglen offers a complete range of products and services, from the sale of a single PC to the configuration and fulfilment of a complete Local or Wide Area Network.

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How a hack on Prince Philip's Prestel account led to UK computer law

Sir Barry

No Change Then

"exasperated attempts to shock BT into action after BT showed no interest in bolstering the security of its system"

30 years later and BT have the same attitude with their Home Hub:

"BT has investigated similar issues and concluded that there is no fault with the way BT’s Consumer Home Hubs operate to allow VoIP calls over the internet."

Ho hum...

17
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France fingered as source of Syria-spying Babar malware

Sir Barry

Busted

Bon sang, nous voulions seulement pour le fromage

0
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Barclays punts instant Twitter mobile payments app – best avoid while drunk

Sir Barry

They can keep it

No thanks!

I find a debit card or cold hard cash to be very effective and this looks to be completely pointless.

1
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UN negotiations menaced by THOUSANDS of TOPLESS LADIES with MAYONNAISE

Sir Barry

Hmmmm, methinks Ivan Grinevich has a sponsorship deal with Hellmann's.

Or he has some pervy fantasies.

Just sayin....

10
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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

Sir Barry

Re: Is this needed?

@ cornz

WIFE 2.0???

It wasn't that long ago that I upgraded from MUM 3.0 to GIRLFRIEND 1.2

0
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Sir Barry

Is this needed?

This really looks like using technology to solve a problem that doesn't exist.

It would be much better if they created a washing machine robot that could load/unload the washing machine and then iron. I have a beta model at the moment, but she can be temperamental...

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Lies, damn lies and Wikipedia: Murder suspect NOT a Plaxo founder – ex-staffer

Sir Barry

Nothing new

I'm not surprised, since when did the press let the facts get in the way of a story?

1
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Bloke in Belgium tries to trademark Je Suis Charlie slogan

Sir Barry

T-Shirt

Yanick should wear a t-shirt with the slogan - Je suis une twat.

I hate seeing people cashing in on others tragedies.

1
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Boffins open 'space travel bureau': Come relax on exoplanet Kepler-16b, says NASA

Sir Barry

What?

Does this mean Star Wars was really a documentary???

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Dixons Carphone bye-bye'd 800 staff since merger

Sir Barry

"I thought the Hemel building was badly damaged by the Buncefield explosion in 2005?"

At that point I worked for Dixons based in building 4 and whilst the buildings* were damaged "badly" is a bit of an overstatement.

*In 2005 Dixons had 3 buildings in a cluster housing around 2000 people, office space was a little cramped, but there were two restaurants and two shops. I don't know if any of that has changed as I left in 2006.

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Solar-powered bra maker suffers 20,000 TITSUPs all at once

Sir Barry

If any young lady is now braless and needs some support, I'm on hand to help.

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Assange's WikiLeaks: Give generously this Xmas – for STATUE of our DEAR LEADER

Sir Barry

Courage?

Is that what hiding in an Embassy is now called then?

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Sir Barry

Ooh, mass debate in Parliament?

There is a bunch there perfectly suited.....

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Virgin Media's ad fibs EXPOSED by bitter rival BT

Sir Barry

So VM get told off, whoopee friggin do.

Who actually funds the ASA?

Disband the toothless organisation and save some money as they don't do anything.

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FTC: Sony told big fat WHOPPERS in its PlayStation Vita ads – and now it has to pay

Sir Barry

Never mind about Sony, that Sega advert is pure class, made me feel like I was 15 again.

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TalkTalk's 'unbeatable signal strength' and 'fastest Wi-Fi tech' FIBS silenced by ad watchdog

Sir Barry

I'm waiting for one ISP to create a new advert:

<Insert ISP name> is the most honest broadband provider, we have only been told off by the ASA 1,355* times in the past 90 days which is less than any other provider.

* Correct at time of publishing, this figure may increase with our new marketing campaign.

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CURE for DEATH (by PowerPoint) emerges from Japan

Sir Barry

It would take me more than twenty seconds to write this pos

1
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Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

Sir Barry

Personally, I don't care about a persons sexuality. Trolling morons shouldn't be allowed to access the internet.

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How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

Sir Barry

WTF???

I've seen art students put on a better show than that lot in the video.

I'm going down to the Students Union with a video camera, maybe I can score a wad of cash with the results.

0
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Marissa! Mayer! ends! 21! month! dry! spell! as! Yahoo! sales! grow!

Sir Barry

Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Icahn and I DID: eBay volte-faces, spins PayPal into separate biz

Sir Barry

I wonder if this has anything to do with eBay's UK tax arrangements.....

1
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Game pirates 'donate' compute power to Bitcoin miners

Sir Barry

I'm quite happy to hear thieving gits are getting nailed. Maybe this will discourage one or two from stealing.

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Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Sir Barry

I always said cameras and the internet on mobile phones would never catch on.

I'll say the same about these new fangled watch thingies, give it a year and they'll be forgotten.

Now watch some smartarse produce something indispensable that everybody really needs...

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Salesforce cloud goes titsup: Users face another long weekend

Sir Barry
Pint

This is why I don't use cloud offerings personally. Everything is on my computer/external hard drive.

Yes, cloud computing can be convenient when on the move, but you ain't going to get far when it isn't available.

Beer as it is nearly lunchtime in the UK and the weekend is about to start!

4
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eBay, Facebook, Tumblr ALL go TITSUP in me-too MULTI-FAIL

Sir Barry

Thank God I still had Myspace....

2
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LOHAN gets laughing gear round promotional mug

Sir Barry
Pint

Excellent, I'll be ordering a t-shirt in Extra Fat.

Beer coz the weekend is starting now!

0
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Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

Sir Barry
Pint

If I had the cash I would buy it just for the novelty.

Samsung (the company) should buy it, place it in a decent frame and display it in HQ Reception.

Beer coz it's Friday and I have a whole week off work to look forward to.

Cheers...

1
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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Sir Barry

This is all well and good, but did you make it to your user group meetup?

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FREE PARTY for TEN lucky Australian Reg readers

Sir Barry

High Expectations

You think commentards have friends and know how to behave themselves?

Gosh

1
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You! Pirate! Stop pirating, or we shall admonish you politely. Repeatedly, if necessary

Sir Barry

ASA Involvement?

Gosh

A telling off and being accused of being smelly!!

Don't tell me, the Advertising Standards Authority were brought on board as advisers weren't they?

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BT slapped down by BSkyB over O2 broadband 'switch off' porkies

Sir Barry

Standard Form Letter

Which ends with this copy & paste line:

"told <insert offenders name> that the ad had misled customers and must not appear again in its current form"

4
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TalkTalk talks itself into trouble with budget broadband package fibs

Sir Barry

<Carlsberg voice> The ASA, probably the most useless regulator in the world, </Carlsberg voice>

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Windows users: You get a patch! And you get a patch! And you get a patch! Everybody gets...

Sir Barry

"The one that hasn't spent any money with them for some time?"

Nope, I purchased a Windows 7 Acer laptop for the other half some time ago.

Good point though.

0
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Sir Barry

I have an 8 year old HP laptop running XP. I can't see it coping with the new flavours of Windows so have no plans to change the OS.

There are only a few sites I visit using it, my Mrs has a Windows 7 laptop if I want to explore, and of course, at work I'm using a company laptop so there is no access to norty/dodgy sites.

I understand the commercial reasons for discontinuing support for XP, but why alienate your customer base?

3
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iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

Sir Barry
Coat

As I was reading this I thought "this smells fishy" as will some of the app users I expect...

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Mystery bidder plunders the whole haul in Silk Road Bitcoin auction

Sir Barry

My money is on the Winklepicker twins seeing as they are such staunch advocates of Bitcoin as demonstrated by the creation of the Winklevoss Bitcoin Trust.

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Official: MoJ IT workers on STRIKE over outsourcing job fears

Sir Barry

Can we outsource Parliament and the idiots working there who are allowing this ongoing stupidity to continue?

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'World’s dumbest' suspect collared in Facebook sting

Sir Barry

Re: He must like jail.

Facebook user, enough said?

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Shine on you crazy diamond: Distant dwarf may hide space jewel

Sir Barry
Pint

"Insert your Keanu Reeves joke here"

Excellent.

You have won a pint.

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Sir Barry

Does he feel born again?

Looking for a womb with a view?

After his pics are posted all over the interwebs does he feel like a real ****?

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