* Posts by Morteus

51 posts • joined 17 Apr 2011

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Russians in audacious stratobeer mission

Morteus
Pint

Huh...

...so much for 'light' beer.

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Lords give automatic smut censorship bill the once-over

Morteus
Devil

Rediculous

Oh For crying out loud.

There are more than enough parental control applications available (many supplied by the ISP's ironically) to deal with unwanted/unsafe internet content. What is this bill REALLY about?

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Ten... top Android games

Morteus

Chatup lines?

Anyone got a working link to Ice Breaker THE GAME? All I can find is some cheesy chat up app

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Unlikely contender tops rankings in Nokia ringtone quest

Morteus
Facepalm

When I first heard it I faced-palmed.

But having listened to the ones below it, I'm now of the opinion it IS the best one there.

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Laptop batteries made of jelly invented

Morteus

Science fiction..

... come fact? I remember in that Stallone movie 'Demolition Man' the electric cars ran on something call 'capacitence gel'.

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9/11: The day we lost our privacy and power

Morteus

With great power, comes great responsibility...

... to abuse it at every given opportunity.

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Parliament has no time for 100,000+ signature e-petitions

Morteus
FAIL

"Unfortunately, the group that is supposed to get a chance to discuss the issue, the Backbench Business Committee of MPs, is complaining that the one day a fortnight it has scheduled for debate is chock-a-block with its own issues and the government hasn't given it any extra time to deal with e-petitions."

... so what they're saying is the day that was put aside to deal with e petitions actualy ISN'T put aside for dealing with e petitions.

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SETI alien hunters re-open search for volunteer coders

Morteus

If they are...

... I doubt it's by choice.

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Gov removes 'general appeal' rights for accused freetards

Morteus
Big Brother

All suspects are guilty...

... I mean, otherwise they wouldn't be suspects... would they?

You're quite right of course, the appeal system is open to abuse - but then that's true of any proceedure allowing for mitigation. I still don't think it justifies draconian measures like this.

It's just so... undemocratic.

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Sea eagles menace Scottish children

Morteus
Holmes

Och - Alfred Hitchcock was right all along!

I've lived in two costal towns (in Devon and now scotland) and a far worse problem is harrasment from gulls. There has always been isolated incidents all over the country of birds 'attacking' folk. Can't see it's any more likely in this scenario than any other - short of living in a bird free zone of course...

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Bury council defends iPads for binmen

Morteus
FAIL

What a coincidence...

A couple of days ago, a chap from the council turned up at my door to fit a new bath. When I reported the fault they said I'd get a call to let me know when they were coming (which never happened). As I was going out I told him he'd have to arange another time.

"No problem!" he says, and whips out an HTC. The next 10 minutes where spent on the door step while he continualy apologised and tried to get a connection to the database. In the end he scribbled some notes on a piece of paper and said he'd update it when he could get a connection.

Apparently, all the workmen had been issued with these phones and they were all cursing about them. "Was better when we had a list" he grumbled.

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The real reason Google bought Motorola

Morteus
Happy

Nostalgic

It doesn't seem that long ago that they were just a little ol' search engine.

My, how they've grown!

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Apple ejects FT app from iTunes

Morteus
Coat

Shouldn't that be...

30 per cent of you subs revenue are belong to us?

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Worm spreads via RDP

Morteus
Coat

My Bad...

... I was thinking of The Remote Assistance - 'nuff said!

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Morteus
FAIL

I dunno about that...

I've done two fresh install of XP home ed. in the past month and BOTH of them had RDP enabled by default.

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Seven Dwarfs password gag declared Fringe's best

Morteus
Pint

Humour is subjective...

... and the ones that make you laff most are often the ones you heard in the pub. Which because of taste, decency, PC or libel action will hardly ever make it into the act of 'most' comics.

... or was it just funny 'cos I was drunk?

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Stephen on Steve: The most important man on Earth

Morteus
Devil

And for my next trick...

wow... this guy should be Cameron's next advisor...

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Agency sends contractors' day rates to 800 RBS staff

Morteus
FAIL

Sick and tired...

... of hearing about this bloody bank and it's practices.

'owned by the tax payer' - yeah right. I was so impressed by the performance of this bank I couldn't wait to bail it out. I was more than happy to line the pockets of fat cat management especialy at the expense of blameless bank staff. So I'm REALLY impressed by this latest revelation.

If it's 'owned' by us, then I guess we're responsible eh?

I'm so depressed...

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Shuttered SETI reboots ET pursuit

Morteus
Alien

Let's be quiet and they might go away

If I was to form an opinion on the human race based on the stuff that we continually leak out into space, I think I would treat earth and it's inhabitants like a street canvaser and hope I can get by unnoticed.

Although I do find a scenario along the lines of 'Galaxy Quest' oddly appealing...

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Essex police charge BlackBerry user over inciting violent disorder

Morteus
Devil

Says what but not how...

... the police came by the information. I'm rather curious as to how they came to know and how the msg information was obtained. Surely they didn't do a 'Murdoch'?

Not so much the devil, as his advocate.

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IBM PC daddy: 'The PC era is over'

Morteus
Stop

Dead? Not in my house matey!

I'm sitting here, cup of tea, listening to music(on decent speakers), reading posts in the only personal 'zone' I can get in a busy household. I think he asumes we all want to dash around with a phone to our ear browsing on a fondle slab. Well that's all very well for them who enjoy that lifestyle but I like comfort. And as for gaming, well there's games and there's games. Can't imagine trying to organise a raid in wow from an ipad somehow. Nope - not convinced.

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Kabam! Facebook gamers fume after script deletes fake stuff

Morteus

The element of risk...

...exists in all forms of e-comerce be it from unstable software, hackers, trojans, and the like. You can certainly take steps to limit it, but the only way to be 100% safe on the internet is not use it. It's hardly fair (or mature) to point at and admonish people who have been nothing more than unfortunate.

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Joe Public invited to hunt God particle

Morteus

Sounds familiar...

... SETI did something similar back in the 90's.

I expect the result will probably be just as conclusive.

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Cabinet Office allocates £1.6m for single government domain

Morteus
FAIL

... how much!?

this reminds me of that scene in Independence Day where Bill Pullman queries the funding for Area 51...

President: I don't understand, where does all this come from? How do you get funding for something like this?

Julius: You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?

... apparently our goverment does.

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David Cameron turns water cannons on social networks

Morteus
Big Brother

Oh Lord, please help me to keep my big...

I accept, that as one of our country's leaders and shining example of reason and virtue, Mr. Cameron feels obliged to comment and suggest ways of dealing with the issue, but shouldn't it be something more than a knee-jerk draconian swipe at media platforms?

Think it through Mr. C... think it through...

Big Bro, 'cos we know where this can lead...

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Will the looters 'loose' their benefits?

Morteus
Pint

Cloud 9

The more coverage I see and comments made, I can't help feeling that governing bodies are distancing themselves from the situation. They are good at pointing their fingers and condeming the actions (which of course they should) but it's a case of "look at what THEY are doing - they need a jolly good thrashing". Like it or not, THEY are members of OUR community.

While there is some debate as to the source of the match that touched off the blaze, isn't it also true that to a degree this is a symptom of the errosion that has slowly degraded community standards? The successive goverments of the past few decades seem more interested in removing local community control and incentives for the sake of convenience. Coupled with international policies (which they appear more interested in until something like this happens) they have made a pretty poor show of keeping their own house in order. Our own goverment members seem to routinely flout the virtues which they compel us to uphold without serious consequence.

The rich are richer, the poor are poorer. Fat cats who were at the helm of banking institutions when they failed recieve millions, while humble workers below them face redundancies. There is no investment in our youth in either community or education. Their circumstance seems to rely on the funds they can produce rather than their willingness to achieve, and the power to change their curcumstance is virtualy non existent.

Is it any wonder then that our respect for the status quo is somewhat deminished? It is not an excuse for the actions that took place. But even 2000 years ago, the roman senate new all too well that if you don't give the plebs at least the illusion of prosperity or self worth, eventualy there will be trouble.

For the people, by the people? We can but hope that this may be a wakeup call for Mr Clegg and Co... albeit a folorn hope.

Phew! I need a beer...

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Doom dude says violent games lower aggression

Morteus
Facepalm

Jess...

Yep, I totaly believe that everyone who plays video games is a psycho and I wasn't trying in my own, albeit pathetic, way to be ironic. I guess that's what 14 years of FPS gaming did for me...

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Morteus
WTF?

Deterent or diversion?

"Legendary id Software developer John Carmack reckons videogames have a positive impact on society and reduce aggression."

Is that because it keeps potential antisocialists and psycho's in doors and off the streets?

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Dawn eyes Vesta's full-frontal charms

Morteus
Happy

never mind the soup...

... where's the iron chicken?

That asteroid looks like it was 'passified' by US forces

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iPad maker to replace 1 million staff with robots

Morteus
Terminator

Evolutionary Redundancy

So, the labour pool can be superceeded by automatons that can easily perform the mundane physical tasks. This throws countless millions into unemployment.

I suppose eventualy, middle management and administrators in both the private and public sector, will become redundant as smarter programmes manage and administrate more efficiently than their error prone counterparts.

Why can't someone invent a robot that can procrastinate, lie and bullshit? Then we can sack all the politicians as well!

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It's official: IE users are dumb as a bag of hammers

Morteus
Coat

I had an opinion...

... but I remembered just in time that I abstain from subscribing to any classifaction medium that attempts to 'pigeon hole' individuals into any form of collective entity. Particularly when it's based on random statistics, but especially when it's basis is, no matter how obscurely, comercially orientated.

So there.

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MPs round on plans to offshore gov IT work

Morteus
Thumb Down

Safeguarding the future?

This is the BRITISH goverment right?

The duely elected body that represents BRITIAN, and strives to act in BRITAIN's best interests?

"alarmed at the increased security risks of storing millions of live personal data files, including national insurance numbers, offshore".

"The motion, signed by six other MPs from the region, also noted the "ethical implications" of cutting costs and raising the contract's profitability by exploiting lower paid overseas workers."

"One of the issues is the loss of 200 jobs in Tyneside, but the other key issue is the security of sensitive information with confidential information, including NI numbers zipping back and forth between Britain and India."

So, while it IS an issue that money, investment and jobs are at stake, it's not a KEY one. Gosh I feel so much better knowing that my goverment holds our future in such high priority.

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Ten... in-ear headphones

Morteus
Coat

Wot no SkullCandy?

I'm not a number cruncher, nor audiophiliac. I wedge 'em in my ear and if they sound good I use 'em. I tried Sony and two different sennheiser sets (one pair packed up after 3 days) but neither sounded as good as the SKs - alot cheaper too. Yes They were only about £20 (sennheisers were more than double that) but the bottom line for me is the sound, comfort and quality of build - and I don't mean because it has gold plated, angel dust coated *&%!£! super woofer/ driver/ tachyon driven/quantum doobries.

...er, mine's the one with the buckles up the back.

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Higgs Boson hiding place narrows

Morteus

I fed it hypothetical Super Wiskas...

... question is, did it eat it or not?

answers on a theoretical postcard please.

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Morteus
WTF?

Please not again...

... everytime this bobs to the surface I make another stab at trying to understand it. Yet again, my coffee gets cold, I smoke too many fags, and the world remains more or less the same as it was when I started. Theoretical phiysics is as meaningless as it is intangible - ah wait - is that why it's called the God particle!?

More coffee Igor and emply the ash tray!!

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Gamer claims complete console collection

Morteus

Dunno if it counts...

... strictly speaking, as it was a multimedia platform, but I played loads of games on it.

Philips CDi (mine was the early 450 model).

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US forced to redesign secret weapon after cyber breach

Morteus
Coat

'ang on...

... wasn't that Bernard Mathews?

Bootiful ...

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Rebekah Brooks quits - Murdoch accepts this time

Morteus
Megaphone

Gee, we're all so dumb...

... or it pleases some people to think so. I personaly don't consider myself to be particularly niave, but hey - it's all depending on how much you know (or at least, think you do).

My Uncle gave me one of the most useful (and profound) pieces of advice I ever had when I was young. "The worsth crime in the world, is getting caught". Sadly, it took me a long time to really understand how true that is, and what it really signified about human nature.

I'm not going to waste your time stating the obvious - I'm not even going to bother to vote a certain post down. I'm sure there are many here as 'clueless' as me who know what I mean.

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Morteus
Facepalm

So simple...

... or is it? I'm sorry, I may have missunderstood the example you illustrate, but are you suggesting that someone just sat down and tried random 4 digit combinations until they got the right one? There are 10,000 possible combinations using the digits 0 - 9. Might have took a while then...

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Morteus
Happy

On the evidence...

... of this rapidly extending forum post, it's just you... yet here you are :)

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Morteus
Facepalm

Not Hacking?

"Firstly, it's not hacking - it's just guessing a pin number..."

I see! So if I "guess" the password to the National Insurance database and obtain confidential information without authorisation I'm not hacking at all! That's all right then...

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News of the World TO CLOSE

Morteus
Pirate

A classic stratigic feint

C'mon, we all know that if we discover a scandal of this proportion now, those who are involved have know about it for ages. So it's reasonable to assume there have been contingency plans prepared for most eventualities.

So they put up their hands, gasp in horror and look shocked - but we don't 'buy it'.

Next they implement an investigation - curiously already strangling it's credibility by appointing one of the suspected party as chief investigator - we are even more outraged.

Suddenly, in a major show of attrition, they axe the publication without a fight and in a grand manner, one of the CEO's pleads remorse for their actions citeing niavete as the main cause.

Anyone who has a basic understanding of military stratergy can see this for what it is - one big manouver to camoflage another - and no, I'm still not 'buying it'.

But don't let it worry you - this only the tip of the iceberg anyway... you'll never hear about what's REALLY going on ... MUAHAHA!!!

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Netizens mobilise to recover precious stolen guitar

Morteus
Megaphone

Wealth through litigation...

... seems more and more that financial 'compensation' through insurance is almost a live goal. TV ads push it in your face as if it's something we all should do - as often as possible.

But I digress. The point here is not what he could have gained by way of compensation, but that miserable souless beings perpetrated the act in the first place. Everybody has something that they hold dear - things they would be greatly distressed to loose. Compensation is a widely bandied term in legal circles which in many circumstances (as in this one) barely applies. The man was robbed - and we question his conduct?

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Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Morteus
Happy

By Jove, I got it!

Instead of removing the allegedly offensive name, why not just redress the balance by calling the rest of the cast 'Honky'!

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Morteus
Big Brother

It's all so pointless...

...because political correctness isn't interested in preserving of portraying the truth.

Various ruling factions thoughout history have altered names and events in the name of political expedience - or in this case in the case of commercial gain - and not for the first or last time either.

What concerns me more is that many people are more and more willing to take these cinematic representations on face value as factual. In years to come people will be argueing over which was portraying the truth. It may only be the name of a dog, but what next?

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Remastered 4K, 3D Titanic steams towards cinemas

Morteus
Unhappy

I've tried - really I have...

... to think of something positive to say about these 'enhanced re-releases', but on a gut level I just feel dispondent each time I see it. Wether it's good or bad is, to me at least, irrelevant. I would far rather they put the time, money and effort into producing something new, excting and possibly even original? Very few insentives to draw me to the cinema these days.

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Hollywood to 'retell' Carrie

Morteus

Why?

I am at a loss to see a reason for this. For a Horror movie, the original Sissy Spacek version generated a lot of empathy for the lead character and won well deserved awards. Aside from the social era it is set in, it holds up even today as a classic.

Hollywood needs to take a lesson from this. HD, 3D and CGI are purely enhancements and do not make a good movie alone. Maybe I'm just out of touch or expect too much, but I'm not impressed by insipid wooden teenies who sparkle in the light and stereo typed clueless grown ups.

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Use of Weapons declared best sci-fi film never made

Morteus

I'm not convinced...

... that Use of Weapons would make a good movie. The uninitiated could be confused by the constant flash-backs and those having read it are unlikely to be impressed with the interpretation of someone else perspective.

Consider Phlebas would probably make a better movie as it is more linear and a less complex story line. Also the action is better paced, and Horza would make an excellent anti-hero if he is well cast.

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The best sci-fi film never made: Also-rans take a bow

Morteus

tsk... sloppy research

OK, I'm a bit confused here... The second from last book "Who goes there?" is listed as being written by Bob Shaw. I asumed at firdt that this was the one that the classic movie "The thing from another world" was based upon, but that is credited to Don A Stuart, aka John W Campbell Jr. I can't find anything by that title credited to a Bob Shaw, so what gives?

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Got a buck to send M Night Shyamalan to film school?

Morteus

Can't put my finger on it ...

... but Shyamalan's movies are perplexing. The actual Premise for the movies is usualy sound, but they are realised in such a way that all the suspense and intrigue are somehow missing. It would be interesting (and considerably more entertaing) to see someone else do the same movies. I so wanted 'Signs' to be a good movie, but c'mon... Mel Gibson a disalusioned priest?

Oh, and re: Ridley Scott. An excellent director who is just having a dodgy patch. Will be interesting to see what his return to the Alien series will produce. He's already expressed his feelings that the franchise has gone off the rails a bit and I take that as a good sign.

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