* Posts by Solly

48 posts • joined 15 Apr 2011

Microsoft says to expect AWESOME things of Windows 10 in January

Solly

Re: High school adjectives for business solutions

"full of awe" you say? there is an auto-antonym which matches that: awful...

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Feds dig up law from 1789 to demand Apple, Google decrypt smartphones, slabs

Solly

I've heard encryption described as a weapon, if that's the case doesn't the 2nd amendment trump this old law?

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Creating your GOLDEN statue of NICOLAS CAGE FINALLY possible

Solly

Whilst he may be cheesy in many of his films, I did think he was excellent in "Adaptation", also in "Leaving Las Vegas" and while we are on the subject of Birds he was also pretty good in "Birdy"... but yes he has been in some right turkeys....

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Google, Apple pop a cap in that Flappy Birds crapp app flapp

Solly

Flappy Turd? surely Crappy Turd would've been more appropriate...

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Romance is dead: Part-time model slings $1.5bn SUEBALL at Match.com

Solly

I'll believe it when i see it

Pic's or it didn't happen..... oh wait

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'F-CK YOU GOOGLE+' ukelele missy scoops BIG WAD of $$ - for Google

Solly
Devil

I think you should all look at this...

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1093923/

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Antivirus bods grilled: Do YOU turn a blind eye to government spyware?

Solly
Big Brother

Of course they will say they do

But I wouldn't be totally surprised if state sponsored spyware arrives in some of those AV definition updates - I mean AV scanners typically look at the whole drive every day, what spy agency wouldn't want a slice of that pie....

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

Solly
Joke

Don't take the piss out of MS Beer...

...They'll be nothing left in the glass

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NSA: Yes, some of our spooks DID snoop on overseas lovers

Solly
Windows

Not sure

My computer is running slow, is it windows being a shit or am I about to get a knock on the door by a sexy female spook.....

waits

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Korean stealth-scraper plans will turn 450 metre tower INVISIBLE

Solly
Mushroom

Prior Art

Didn't Guy Fawkes attempt this in 1605?

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Life … moves … in … slow … motion … for … little … critters … like … flies

Solly

It's always seemed obvious that animals with smaller bodies would have faster reaction times as the lengths of nerves connecting their muscles to their grey matter would be significantly shorter. It kinda follows that their perception of time would scale accordingly.

As for kids, well I think some of it is relative to experience, if you're a day old newborn, then another 24 hours would seem like a long time. Whereas if your 40 years old - a day is ever shrinking sliver of your collective experience hence the old adage "The years just flash by when you get to my age"

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PRISM leaks: WTF, you don't spy on your friends, splutters EU

Solly
Holmes

It's not just terrorism y'know

I'd bet that one of the trigger words which flags an individual for closer inspection is "invention", no matter where they are in the world...

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CIA-funded upstart: THE TRUTH about Prism and NSA's web snooping

Solly
Big Brother

Scary

And my 8 year old son was doing prisms and pyramids in his maths homework only yesterday - clearly it's a VAST conspiracy....

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Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

Solly

Toast bread well on one side and lightly on t'other. Grate some strong cheddar cheese, add a small splash of milk and a pinch of dried herbs maybe some chilli flakes if you fancy. Mash the cheese and additives together with a fork - it should be a firm paste (otherwise you've added too much milk). Spread the mixture onto the lightly toasted side with a knife and place back under the grill for about 90 seconds.

Allow 30 seconds to cool slightly and then eat before anyone sees you (because they WILL want to steal it)

variants: substitute natural yogurt for the milk, thinly spread marmite/harrissa/sundried tomato puree on the bread before you add the cheese topping etc

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Finally – mind-controlled limbs without brain surgery

Solly
Joke

The 6 million dollar question

Is there a little window in the back of his head so you can see through his bionic eye?

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IT'S OFFICIAL: Hipster era is OVER – sorry, beanie boiz...

Solly
Happy

I thought the vid was going to be this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhAr_UeroCk

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Rules, shmules: Fliers leaving devices switched on in droves

Solly
Joke

Even in Aeroplane Mode

The phone has to periodically power up the radio to report back you GPS location to the FBI, Illuminati, Cabal of Lizard people..

Wake up sheeple!

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Scottish SF master Iain M Banks reveals he has less than a year to live

Solly
Alien

When/If the aliens turn up...

They will be reading his culture series for helpful pointers and advice.

Though I've never met you, good luck old friend.

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Razzie voters drive stake through Twilight

Solly
Holmes

Re: Django Unchained ... Original Screenplay Oscar

Actually, Inglorious Bastards does share the same back story as the original and then diverges from the original when a critical scene in the original film goes one way and the Tarantino version goes another (and creates an alternate history in the process...) - kinda like the film sliding doors - but with nazi's...

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Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

Solly
Alien

It clearly a replacement part for a Tralfamadorian spaceship.

<Lights Moonmist Cigarette>

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Baby sharks are so HARDCORE they avoid baddies like tiny ninjas

Solly
Joke

But..

... can they get Channel 5?

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Pentagon hacker McKinnon will NOT be prosecuted in the UK

Solly
Stop

Re: Looks like cruel and unusual punishment to me.

"In America and England you cannot commit a crime, then get caught for that crime, and just walk away without a consequence of some kind."

Tell that to the board of HSBC

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Apple shares take biggest one-day hammering in 4 years

Solly
Joke

It's ok

I sold all my apple shares to buy ones in facebook...

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Adobe demands 7,000 years a day from humankind

Solly
Joke

TL:DR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1C4gWyW1Ng

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Apple, HTC kiss and make up

Solly
Holmes

I'm probably wrong but...

My guess is that Apple are playing Taiwan off against mainland China to secure themselves a better unit price, the margin difference being far better in the long run for Apple than having to settle with Samsung in South Korea with it's more progressive workers rights and safety legislation (=greater costs). The issue for HTC however is that it will be seen as sleeping with the enemy. If Apple can force them to self alienate themselves then that serves them well even if HTC are off the hook for 10 years.

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UK prosecutors, cops ponder new probe into NASA hacker McKinnon

Solly

Re: The US should be thankful..

Well if my house was full of gold bars then maybe I should fit Fort Knox style locks, however from what i gather these systems were effectively locked doors with the key left in the lock, by your reasoned logic the information on the NASA and Military systems wasn't worth securing properly until after someone tried to nick it... real smart

But props to you for calling me a cretin, I am suitably chastised

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Solly
Facepalm

The US should be thankful..

..that it was McKinnon poking around on the their "secure" systems looking for a UFO cover-up rather than a foreign power looking to steal secrets and subvert systems.

I'd say the following security review probably served them well in the long run. He should be getting paid for his exposure of the sloppy security they had in place prior to being caught, not banged up.

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Naughty-step Apple buries court-ordered apology with JavaScript

Solly
Joke

Surely this is the correct modus operandi for the reality distortion field?

"It just works"

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Chrome extension blocks political speech on Facebook

Solly
Big Brother

I've got a bad feeling about this

A chat with the developers

Q: Okay, so these users of the browser extension don't want to hear political messages, policy, idea's and what not?

A: Yes

Q: And are these people still likely to vote?

A: Some of them yes definitely

Q: Do you think a democracy works best when the people that vote are informed as to what they are voting for?

A: No comment

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Apple files disappearing-feature iPhone patent

Solly
Facepalm

Hiding elements of a phone when not in use you say? My phone can do this already, it called a pocket...

Mines the one with the iPhone in the pocket....

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Peeved bumpkins demand legally binding broadband promise from UK.gov

Solly
Joke

It will definitely happen

Deputy PM: Nick Clegg has made a pledge it will*... so be off you doubters

* may not have actually happened

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Boffins say Vodka Red Bulls make you sensible

Solly
Pint

When the field trial starts

Can I be in the control group with just the good stuff, energy drinks taste rank...

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Curiosity success 'paves way for Man on Mars by 2030s'

Solly
Alien

Meanwhile under the planetary surface

One Martian turns to the camera and says "I, for one, welcome our six wheeled robotic laser wielding overlords"

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Metro, that ribbon, shared mailboxes: Has Microsoft lost the plot?

Solly
Headmaster

Re: When is Ballmer going to be put out to pasture?

I knew Balmer had a tendancy to throw chairs - I didn't, however, know that he was 'though' about it - did he throw ALL the chairs?

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Fastest-ever hydrocarb scramjet hits Mach 8, doesn't explode

Solly
Go

This is all well and good, but when can I get my mitts on one of these in Kerbal Space Program?

http://kerbalspaceprogram.com/

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Facebook warns investors of potential SPAM DELUGE

Solly
Joke

"Facebook has been the first internet company to baldly state the risks it faces from hacking and spam to the markets since the SEC issued guidance on the issue."

They haven't hired Steve Balmer to make their announcements have they?

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Toyota teases next-gen Prius styling

Solly
Terminator

What the frack!

That hydrogen car looks like a Cylon....

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New human-brain chip can be adjusted for cannabis effect

Solly
Terminator

Tracking with closeups

SHALMANESER That real cool piece of hardware up at the GT tower. They say he's apt to evolve to true consciousness one day. Also they say he's as intelligent as a thousand of us put together, which isn't really saying much, because when you put a thousand of us together look how stupidly we behave.

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Colossal dead black neo-sphere approaching Earth

Solly
Alert

"That's no moon"

"I've got a bad feeling about this"

etc

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CERN boffins re-running neutrino speed test

Solly
Joke

Sorry but we don't serve neutrino's in here.

A neutrino walks in to a bar.

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5 SECONDS to bypass an iPad 2 password

Solly
FAIL

It just works....

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Virus infects killer US air drone fleet

Solly
Terminator

They should hook it up to the advanced AI of Skynet, it's been alleged that it should be able to squash the virus in seconds.....

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Homeland Security bungles 'pre-crime' tech test docs

Solly

It's not infallible, what about the minority report? but I digress - I get the gist..

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Dinosaur-murdering space boulder family found innocent

Solly
Joke

Surely there's a 1 in 3,200 chance that 15 million years was sufficient time.... oh wait

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Boffin melds quantum processor with quantum RAM

Solly

Tracking with close ups

Christ what an imagination I've got...

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Google+ bans real name under ‘Real Names’ policy

Solly
Big Brother

Google plus good?

Did he get his two minutes of hate?

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So, what's the best sci-fi film never made?

Solly
Go

A couple

The Siren's of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut

A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge

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