* Posts by Woza

83 posts • joined 25 Mar 2011

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Gravitational waves: A new type of astronomy

Woza
Black Helicopters

So how long until

We can detect a passing GSV?

5
1

YouTube sharecroppers start world’s most useless trade union

Woza
Joke

Re: But ...

Well, they're only a mute button away from being the Guild of Mime Artists...

Where's the scorpion pit when you need it?

2
0

It's not us, it's you: Boffins ditch supercomputers in lust for new materials

Woza

Re: It's neither...

Gently does it...

2
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NIST readies 'post-quantum' crypto competition

Woza
Go

Re: Even easier.

How about carrier pigeons? There's a n app RFC for that.

1
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Daft draft anti-car-hack law could put innocent drivers away for life

Woza
FAIL

We're going to need a bigger corner soon...

25
0

Clucking hell! Farcical free-range egg standard pecked apart by app

Woza

As Robin Williams said

Politicians should be like NASCAR drivers - they should have logos from all their sponsors on the back of their jackets. Then you'd know why they vote the way they do!

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0

Plane food sees pilot grounded by explosive undercarriage

Woza
Coat

Re: These laser strikes...

Well, it is stimulated emission...

11
0

Helpdesk? I have a software problem. And a GRIZZLY BEAR problem

Woza
Joke

Re: A problem with a text editor?

M-x remove-bear

0
0

Google crafts custom networking CPU with parallel computing links

Woza
Joke

"There is no floating-point support, so it won't be juggling tasks involving lots of math."

I guess number theory doesn't qualify as maths, then?

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0

CSIRO says it's not firing scientists, it's re-balancing

Woza

"Rebalancing"

<cynic>

Fire all the scientists and hire more administrators? I've seen that pattern before.

</cynic>

3
0

El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

Woza

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/01/bofh_2010_episode_11/ ?

2
0

Overhaul Wassenaar or ruin next Heartbleed fix, top policy boffin says

Woza
Facepalm

Canberra will meet later this month

Will we? Guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

1
0

GCHQ Christmas Card asks YOU the questions

Woza

Re: What a GCHQ Christmas card might look like

On those lines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mMaRmMthWQ

0
0

Irish electricity company threatens to cut off graveyard

Woza
Coat

Voom

Someone needs to be paid for those 4,000 volts

0
0

Big Bang left us with a perfect random number generator

Woza
Coat

NIST compliance

'Except for one thing: back when FIPS was created, the standard didn't consider astrophysical sources for randomness, so it stipulates that “the RGB or portion of the RGB cryptographic module that generates the key must 'reside' within the FIPS 140 key-generating module.”'

So if the key-generating module is the universe, the CMB is within the module, no?

2
0

Why was the modem down? Let us count the ways. And phone lines

Woza

Re: Luxury

Morse code? Luxury - we had to make do with dots, because dashes hadn't been invented yet. The only letters we could send were E, H, I and S.

12
0

Bookworms' Weston mecca: The Oxford institution with a Swindon secret

Woza

Re: surrounded by hundreds of thousands of books, there is near silence.

I just hope they've taken precautions against the .303 bookworm.

2
0

Australia builds facial recognition as a service for plod, spookhaüses

Woza
Joke

Typo, or political commentary?

the prime minister *of* counter-terrorism

0
0

Boffins promise file system that will NEVER lose data

Woza

Research life cycle in action?

Given that the statement seems to originate from a press office, I wonder if we're looking at the start of this effect:

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1174

1
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Dead Steve Jobs' life and times are being turned into an OPERA

Woza
Go

Re: Hmmm...

The G&S could switch into a classical-style opera, with lyrics in Italian...

"Gli angoli sono rotonde,

e si tiene sbagliato

C'è solo un pulsante,

Non un grosso problema"

3
0

HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

Woza
Thumb Up

"have no soles"

I see what you did there! Have an upvote,

0
0

El Reg hosts the IBM Bluemix Programming Competition 2015

Woza
Stop

Well, I was going to enter, but

"THE CHALLENGE is open to United Kingdom residents only."

(from http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/hub/ibm/terms.html)

2
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Cell division: The engine of life – and of CANCER. Now some of its secrets are revealed

Woza
Thumb Up

Fantastic accuracy warning!

9
0

'Save the teachers!' 184 cryptologists send Oz Govt cleartext petition

Woza

Re: First they came for the wind and solar farms

You shouldn't excuse one bunch of idiots by pointing out what a different bunch of idiots did. Politics (like life) is not a zero-sum game.

1
0

Brandis' metadata retention recipe doesn't prohibit USB drives stored in a garden shed

Woza
Black Helicopters

Did I miss it?

Was there any mention about whether the data has to be stored within Australia? Or can it be encrypted with ROT13 and then stored in the cheapest cloudy location?

1
0

PLUTO: The FINAL FRONTIER – best image yet of remote, icy dwarf planet REVEALED

Woza
Joke

Looking at the colour

I'm pleased there is now a real Red Dwarf in this solar system.

0
0

Bloke called Rod struck by lightning for second time

Woza
Go

But how many of them are called Rod? According to http://howmanyofme.com/search/, there are 20,841 people called Rod in the US...

3
0

Ding-dong, the cloud calling: The Ring Video Doorbell

Woza

Re: Question

Ah - thanks for the answer.

0
0
Woza

Question

Can you pair it with more than one phone? I assume it broadcasts the video to all connected devices - if so, can you have 3 way conversations between (say) your spouse and the person at the door (does it relay sound between paired phones)?

4
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Cash register maker used same password – 166816 – non-stop since 1990

Woza
Joke

Re: customers should conduct rigorous penetration tests

And then track the perpetrator's IP address through a GUI?

4
0

High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

Woza

Re: Why was the first response to Taser him?

"Perhaps they should have left it to special branch."

This is called winning.

1
0

Aussie priest BLESSES an APP – and the sacred iPad it runs on

Woza
Joke

So, is this like other certifications?

If they release a new version or patch a bug, does it need to be re-blessed?

2
0

Surface Pro 3 update has so much new stuff for sysadmins, we can't fit it all in one headline

Woza
FAIL

Where's the Stob?

I was promised the Stob, damnit.

7
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Gamers! Ransomware will scramble your save files unless you cough up $1,000

Woza
Thumb Up

well done

on the subheading!

2
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Sir Terry remembered: Dickens' fire, Tolkien's imagination, and the wit of Wodehouse

Woza

Paraphrasing Soul Music

People will always remember the books he never had a chance to write, and they will be the greatest books of all.

5
0

OpenSSL audit kicks off for post-Heartbleed strengthening program

Woza
Go

Start with

Some of the early change logs for Libre SSL.

5
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TITANIC: Nuclear SUBMARINE cruising 'Sea of KRAKENS' may be FOUND ON icy MOON

Woza
Mushroom

Have they planned for

Deep Ones?

4
0

Nope. That's not our FAKE BOMB say Oz spooks and cops

Woza
Joke

This is why

we need warrantless metadata access, obviously!

4
0

V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones

Woza
Thumb Up

Nailed it

Superb writing.

2
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E-vote won't happen for next Oz election

Woza
Joke

the lack of privacy “opens up a market” for votes to be bought

I thought the current lot were all in favour of market-based approaches!

0
0

Oz trade minister RUBBISHES TPP fears

Woza
Joke

"Spreading misinformation"

a.k.a "We changed the name of the treaty."?

7
0

Pagers shout data center creds, pop star airport arrivals

Woza
Alert

Re: If he's not careful

Must save our precious bodily fluids radio signals!

3
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Careless Whisper? Anonymous messaging app accused of stalking users, blabbing to Feds

Woza
Unhappy

"peeps"?

No, just no.

4
0

Jaguar Sportbrake: The chicken tikka masala of van-sized posh cars

Woza
Joke

In that final photo

has it sprung a leak?

0
0

Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Woza

TOSFKAW

The Operating System Formerly Known As Windows?

4
0

Blood-crazed Microsoft axes Trustworthy Computing Group

Woza
Thumb Up

thumbs up

For the subheading.

1
0

Stonehenge's HUMAN ABATTOIR was just a prehistoric Burning Man hippyfest site

Woza
Joke

Re: U2

Did they give away free apples at that concert?

1
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Robin Hood virus: Chinese hackers target nation's wealthy

Woza
Joke

Baldrick says

He's halfway to being the next Robin Hood - he steals from the rich but he hasn't got 'round to giving it to the poor yet.

2
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Crack team weighs LOHAN's substantial box

Woza

Re: Customs

Small but essential component - the plucky playmonaut?

0
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How to promote CSIRO's ICT in Schools in your community

Woza
Headmaster

Before unleashing that text, might want to fix the typo at the end of the first paragraph.

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