116 posts • joined 8 Jun 2007
come back Guy Fawkes
we forgive you
no, having listened to Jasper Carrott from a young age I learned the potential hazards of setting light to a fart without ever having to try it myself!
No i want mine to sound like a TIE Fighter!
one quick lightning bolt....
and it will be crying "INPUT!"
maybe 2000AD had it right
when Judge Death reasoned "All crime is committed by the living, therefore life must be a crime"
Get ready for Labour to deem you guilty!
to (kind of) quote Bill Hicks
"Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours (the governments) what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I f***, what I take into my body - as long as I do not (without their consent) harm another human being on this planet!
And for those of you out there who are having a little moral dilemma in your head about this, I'll answer it for you. It's none of your f****** business!"
so I can set myself up as a business
and then intercept people's web traffic and the government/authorities will not do a thing? Sweet!
But hang on, wasn't there a bit of a fight to hear what MP's are claiming on expenses and yet my spending habits can be up for grabs without my consent?
Funny how it seems to be okay for one and not another
won't be long before hedgehogs are banned in this country then!
"Not saying that being gay is the same as being a paedophile, but it's the closest equivalent"
i know a few gay people that would not take kindly to that kind of thinking
so if the myth is to be believed
anyone with large denomination bank notes will be sniffed and snarled at
as the wise Mr Hicks used to say...
“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem a little unnatural? To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake. You know what I mean? It’s like God, on the seventh day, looking down on his creation:
‘There it is, my creation, perfect and holy in all ways. Now, I can rest …’
Oh my me! I left f*cking pot everywhere. I never should have smoked that joint on the third day. Sh*t. That was the day I created possums. If I leave pot everywhere, that’s going to give humans the impression they’re supposed to use it. Now I have to create Republicans!”
funny, I cannot get El Reg on my underarm deodorant
ROM POM POM!
the one that whiffs like the perfume counter at Boots
not being a legal bod...
can BT customers demand to know (via freedom of information?) if they were within the trial that was not a trial but actually was and if they were can they then take legal action against BT and Phorm using RIPA as their consent was not given?
ah but not a patch on The Comic Strip's
five go mad on mescaline
as long as...
it is the Shatner rendition!
no you misheard him...
they are counting terrorist units. "One terrorist, HA HA HA! Two terrorists, HA HA HA! oh is that it? Shall we start again?"
Phorm will protect you from phishing! (note the previous statement may contain sarcasm)
electoral system not fit for purpose...
never mind, neither are those that look to be elected!
look at all the coke on the tables
granted it is the fizzy drink version
oh so that is where my taxes go!
I am not in the best of moods today, feeling quite belligerent and this is not helping!!!
i once heard
that the Dalai Lama laughs like Sid James
imagine the pins and needles after two years
Phorm will save us!
its not looking good for the tax man then!
I wonder if Virgin Media's cock up a few months back when a lot of us were left without internet access for about a day has anything to do with this. Before the blackout I used to get 4 or 5 items of spam in my inbox per day, it now averages about 150
oh no I have become a conspiracy theorist!
i am attempting to leave virgin right now
funnily enough i have been listening to the loud holding music and the repeated "Please continue to hold the line and your call..." message for 25 minutes now. A reflection of people leaving or merely a tacic to p*ss off people wishing to quit so they hang up and put it off for another time?
I am looking forward to the sales numpty as I imagine they will not have a clue what i am talking about when i mention Phorm
okay back again
Ghostbusters 2 has to be summed up with
"Next week on world of the psychic, hairless pets. Weird"
Starship Troopers got my vote, just because "They sucked his brains out" has a cheese factor of 10
if we are going to want a Time Bandits quote then surely it should be...
"God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!"
however, for that ultimate sci-fi quote you cannot go wrong with Split Second
Dick Durkin: We need to get bigger guns. BIG F*CKING GUNS!
Dick Durkin: I don't think this thing thinks it's Satan, I think this thing IS Satan.
Stone: Well Satan is in deep shit.
I can see the headlines now
"Phew what a Scorcher!"
I myself will be sith lording it up in a galaxy far, far away by then, having studied the force at the jedi academy in Surrey, I fell to the darkside the day I was born
swirly flowing robes, with the mittens on string through the sleeves
we should ask the home office to provide the key
or the plain text of the contents of the disk and if not then they can go to jail!
difficulty with landing on the terrain?
pah, I used to score top marks when playing Lander so if they want me to do it for them I will be more than happy!
the real paradox being...
when are they going to come up with something new instead of rehashing the same things over and over
I am waiting for Hollywood to start looking at childrens tv from the uk circa 1970's I can see it now
"He was a cat on the edge, and only Emily loved him. Bagpuss the Movie!"
or perhaps "Pirates of the Caribbean 4 - Pugwash"
"Squeezing it all down to the size of Summer Glau might be a problem though!"
well i am more than happy to squeeze Summer Glau in order to get the proportions
but wasn't that pretty much the plot to Runaway with Tom Selleck?
heat seeking bullets here we come!
will cars be next?
because they are dangerous in the wrong hands and yet we do not ban people from using them until after they have harmed another, and yet where is the government investigation to decide whether or not to ban everyone from driving just because some people are irresponsible?
everyday I am reminded of how crappy it seems to be in this country. I look forward to my departure
the kind of people that think a lightsabre...
has half the calories!
thank you robot chicken
old style snorkel with my mittens on string
that's what you get...
for asking the waiter if he has dough balls, and when they arrive asking him if he has a knob of butter!
what's the matter Neil, don't you read the guardian?
well thanks to The Dangerous Brothers
we all know that the rudest thing you can say on television is "Bloody Big Jobs" so at least she did not cross that line
with headphones attached? Maybe the lady thought they were built in ear defenders.
children are smart
because I do not know one child with a job and kids.
Government to ban sticks because children with an imagination might pick one up and go "pow pow pow" in mimicry of a gun? ***i know most children do not say pow pow pow but you try typing that eh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh sound they do make and not look like a script for beavis and butt-head***
Perhaps I should dig out my old yo-yo and use it for its invented purpose, will they ban them then? I bit my tongue once when chewing gum, will that be next on the list?
I remember the hoo-hah about video nasties back in the late 70's / 80's and as a youngster back then I was of the opinion that it is not the images that are seen but the person watching them that is the problem and I think the same now with video games (amongst other things)
In an attempt to finish on a lighter note, I think issues like this should be settled with a good old fashioned Counter Strike match, us against the namby-pambies and the winner gets to decide policy
my coat because i wish to leave
it was not on your hard drive
You know experience counts, I know experience counts...
but tell that to the HR departments that solidly believe a piece of paper saying you can do something is more important than years spent actually doing it.
well my advice is do not switch to virgin media!!
just out of curiosity
who do america view as a naval threat these days? Does China have a fleet of subs? North Korea? I thought Russia was an ally now, and their silent catepillar drive was detectable way back in 1984! ;-)
and on an unrelated topic Intergalactic Proton-Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids!
I am not amanfrommars
Intergalactic proton-powered electrical tentacled advertising driods!
yes that seems removed enough from the subject matter (where is he anyway, i've not seen a post for a while?)
by the way I have eaten rat and it is okay
some of us get paid peanuts
why is it the religious types....
that want to remove sex from tv. surely they realise that god created that arse so how can it be wrong. doesn't the bible also say something about being fruitful and multiplying?
Bill Hicks - the antidote to all those silly types
"Send more Chuck Berry!"
there were fifteen of us on thinnest edge of razorblade when I were lad and we thought ourselves lucky!