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* Posts by messele

120 posts • joined 8 Mar 2011

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DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? New leccy BMWs have flimsy password security – researcher

messele

What, you mean the laminated glass that every car on the planet has had for decades?

Keep telling yourself that BMW's are somehow special. They're far from it.

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Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

messele

Built into a beige case with all the beauty of a wet Milton Keynes morning

Both the Apple II and Milton Keynes were somewhat revolutionary in 1977. Compared to lesser objects of desire in the late '70's, like your mum, both were, and still are, things of beauty.

Rain just makes things even better.

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Faster Macbook Air pops out: What, a NEW Apple thing and ZERO fanfare?

messele

Meanwhile in his parent's spare bedroom...

Trashy wanna-be hack plunges slightly deeper to find a negative spin on a story that anybody else responded "more for less, I have no problem with that" to.

Target audience brand him a petty, worthless twat and lazy journalist*.

More for less.

*If sitting around in your underpants regurgitating shit that you found elsewhere on the internet infused with your own brand of spiteful vomit counts as a career these days.

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Apple stuns world with rare SEVEN-way split: What does that mean?

messele

Re: Translation

Bit weird how the entire IT industry readership seems to be a single mass of borderline Aspergers golf-clapping bitter fuckwits though isn't it?

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CEO Tim Cook sweeps Apple's inconvenient truths under a solar panel

messele

Glad to hear you are all posting your scorn from your soy protein bio degradable suparkomputers.

Let's hear about The Registers efforts to improve anything, I'm not looking for a miracle, just anything.

Thought not, what a load of hypocritical pricks.

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UK.gov chucks £28m at F1 tech for buses and diggers plan

messele

Re: Cue the bus fans complaining...

I have and I do so that blows your sweeping generalisation out of the water.

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

messele

Re: Fixed on iPlayer?

Yes same here. BBC have completed the necessary (DRM related?) work, Sky have not.

Anybody still think it's anything to do with iOS?

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Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

messele

Anybody who doesn't like it can always buy an Audi.

No, but seriously everybody around you will quietly think you are an utter bellend.

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Daimler hints at Android-powered telematics in future cars

messele

Re: Daimler, not Daimler-Benz

Try "Daimler AG"

...so as not to get confused with the much longer established "Daimler Company Ltd." of England which was most certainly not founded by Gottleib Daimler.

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Apple fanbois DENIED: Mac Pro deliveries stalled until April

messele

C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-clickbait!

How many click bait posts does it take to 'earn' a fully loaded Darth Vader dustbin?

Answer please on the back of a postcard - and just toss 'em in your dark side receptacle.

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TONGUES OUT if you want to LICK Steve Jobs' BACKSIDE

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Stephen Fry rewrites computer history again: This time it's serious

messele

Re: The Reg...

Yeah, but no, but yeah...

So anyway, that aside you didn't answer the questions. Obviously the first one was too difficult but regarding the second.

"Is this intended to wind Fry up so he says something publicly in a sad bid to garner publicity?"

We all know he's a sensitive chap, so c'mon fellas it's near the end of the month. How are those quotas looking?

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messele

Fry may have got it wrong but so did Orlowski.

Chris Miller posted the correct version - as told by those actually present but you were all too busy having a go at Stephen Fry and tapping at anti-BBC rhetoric to read what he said weren't you?

Gates were NOT in the OS business when they started dealings with IBM. They were pitching their application software to them.

The story involves Gary Kildall, his wife, his lawyers, Tim Paterson of Seattle Computer Products. The suits of IBM and of course Bill Gates. If you do not mention the role of all of these people then you do not know the story. That doesn't really make you any better than Stephen Fry when you preach as you do.

First I've heard of any mental health issues though...

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Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors

messele

Ok who had Apple on the first page on their 'Irrelevant Bingo' card?

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Apple: That 'white screen of death' nightmare? We'll fix it... AT SOME POINT

messele

My beta of 7.1 doesn't do it but then again nor did 7.0.4

Is it a big problem or is the tea kitty running low and it's Hamill's turn to 'put in'?

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Apple coughs up 7 hours of profit to refund kids' $32.5m app spend spree

messele

Re: Ow...

...and the punchline to your joke is?

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Samsung snafu at CES causes Michael Bay meltdown

messele

"So tell me what you think about our new marketing gimmick"...

..."Fucked if I know, the autocue broke and your PR guy only handed me the cheque five minutes ago".

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Samsung whips out 12.2-inch 'Professional' iPad killers

messele

No focus

Yet again no focus, no realisation as to why there was a mass exodus to the tablet for the general use.

I guess we can plainly see which of the turds that Samsung threw stuck to the wall this time round.

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Google and Apple in DRAG RACE: It's fanboi Mercs VS fandroid Audis

messele

Re: for fucks sake

Yeah but it is a BMW to be fair, had to be owned by a wanker, right?

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messele

Be interesting to see how much further Audi can plummet until they officially reach 'junk status'.

http://www.whatcar.com/car-news/full-results/1206903

Right around Citroen. Nice work boys!

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messele

Re: "...Mercedes-Benz and Daimler..."

Daimler-Benz and Daimler are two different companies.

Obviously that not what he meant but Daimler are actually British.

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messele

That would be a big leg-up for Audi.

In my limited experience of driving one of these dreadful bone-rattlers you can't even navigate by a full UK postcode.

No wonder they are all driven by angry bellends.

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Ho, ho, HOLY CR*P, ebuyer! Etailer rates staff on returns REJECTED

messele

Re: I feel it in the air

Exactly. They cannot legally reject returns so, as usual, this is probably a bunch of shit-stirring crap.

Still, nice baubles.

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'F*** off, Google!' Protest blockades Google staff bus AGAIN – and Apple's

messele

C-C-C-C-CLICK BAIT !

So where are the pictures of the Apple bus alluded to by the clumsy headline?

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Fanbois, prepare to lose your sh*t as BRUSSELS KILLS IPHONE dock

messele

The Apple charger IS universal though. There is nothing stopping you plugging other USB phones in to charge them.

The cable isn't universal though but then consider this:

The USB standard does not support anything more than about 5 watts over a mini connector so how is it that Apple should have to lower their standards and produce shite chargers with inadequate power supply capabilities just because everybody else is happy to stick with a cruddy design. How are you supposed to use and charge an iPad at the same time (and yes, in the context of power supplies phones and tables are the same thing).

Let's not forget why this came about, different designs of chargers and (captive) cables for all the crappy old Nokia guff from the last decade where virtually every phone had a different charger SKU. It's take the EU this long to get their shit together and now they are going to make a ridiculous mandate to correct a problem from the last decade that has already been solved.

Plus Lightning was designed to switch signalling as faster technologies come into play, hence the chip in the connector. But I'm not even starting on that one.

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Macbook webcams CAN spy on you - and you simply CAN'T TELL

messele

Hey here's a new one.

Y'know that camera and speaker on your phone? The only thing between them and the internetwebs in North Korea is a shaky piece of software.

We're all doomed.

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Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

messele

Amusing.

I note that Hamill does not quote his own words to Tim Cook that prompted this terse reply that is being paraded around like a Native American's scalp.

Judging by the thanks in the reply however it must have been THE MOST Bum-licky, two-faced, sycophantic crud yet from the bullshitmeister. Nice that he takes the time to regularly message somebody he has such contempt for though with such praise though.

Please sir can we see your message so I can laugh at your pathetic journalism career some more, please, please?

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Chinese gamer plays on while BMW burns to the ground

messele

Seems to me...

...BMWs are now so boring and ubiquitous nobody takes a second glance even when one is ablaze.

Congratulations on your new euro box toaster.

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Apple sends in the bulldozers as Fruit Loop construction begins

messele

Re: That ol' Devil called Green eyed monster again...

My deepest sympithys.

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messele

That ol' Devil called Green eyed monster again...

Bitchy bitchy, whine, whine...

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messele

Re: Its construction will be revolutionary...

...because competitors use lime and clay to hold theirs together? Noted.

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Ditch your boring iPhone for a hot Android piece, says Google's TOTALLY UNBIASED Eric Schmidt

messele

If die-hard droid heads are struggling to reconcile this consider one thing you can get your head round:

Samsung are nowhere near the top of the Android tree, they are junk in comparison to many yet this guy is gushing over them. Something smells fishy, and I'm not talking the contents of Eric's apple crumble.

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It's the games, STUPID: Sony makes 'about $18' on each PlayStation 4

messele

So retailers are selling the console for the glory and taking no cut at all are they?

Why even bother with these stories when the are clearly fabricated by arsehats trying to justify their utterly pointless bullshit analyst jobs?

A GCSE first year business studies student would be able to pull this utter crap to pieces with no knowledge of tech manufacturing.

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How d'ya make a JPMorgan banker cry? Ask him questions on Twitter

messele

That's weird.

When I took issue with the trolling newsies on here I got censored.

How does that work?

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Apple faces €1bn tax probe in Italy, claim legal eagle insiders

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Apple's new iPad Mini: ALREADY set for Black Friday PRICE SLASH

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Apple kicks iStuff-sniffer out of App Store

messele

That was marginally interesting news...

...when every other site reported it last week.

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KRAKOOM! iPad Air EXPLODES in FIREBALL, terrified fanbois FLEE Apple store

messele

"Your correspondent visited the London iPad Air launch and was unimpressed: Yes, it's an iPad, which weighs a bit less than the old one and is quicker."

This respondent doesn't give a fuck for the opinion of this so called correspondent but is amused that he wasted his time going to the launch of something he clearly was going to hate - just so he could hate it.

By the way, the tablet in the Daily Fail photo isn't an iPad Air. This is the second time this afternoon I've picked up on a 'The Recycler' supposed journo who's simply cut and pasted from some other incompetent fucking idiot journo elsewhere.

What are the qualifications to do this job exactly?

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Star Wars VII set for Xmas release. Ho, ho, ho... not THIS Christmas

messele

Re: Oh noes...

Well if it makes you feel any better Pulp Fiction was technically a Disney film (they bought Miramax the year before the film was released).

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messele

"The news agency also notes the movie will be shot in Blighty, as were the previous six, for studio purposes at least."

Then Reuters is very wrong, as is The Register (The Recycler) which, as usual has failed to double-check it's sources before going into a CTRL+C CTRL+V frenzy.

Star Wars to Jedi - The studio used was Elstree before the more historic part of the lot was turned into a bloody Tescos.

Phantom - The studio used was Leavesden - before Harry Potter took up residency.

Clones and Sith - Studio principles for both films took place at Fox Studios Australia. The pickups were photographed here too.

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Foxconn-rebrander Apple to rebrand hardware from other Taiwanese firms, too

messele

Re: Couldn't agree more.

Seems if you want to send one of Jasp's turgid tales down the crapper all you have to do is spam it with photos of Max Mosley taking it from Eva Braun.

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messele

Re: This is getting a little tired

Yawn, just fucking yawn.

I thought The Register just rebranded news from other websites. After all the entire internet news scene is just a bunch of work experience knuckleheads copying (badly) from each other's news sources.

PS judging by the grim standards of adverts served up on these pages, I doubt it even pays very well.

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'It's a joke!' ... Bill Gates slams Mark Zuckerberg's web-for-the-poor dream

messele

He's got that wrong.

Bill Gates - encouraging the world to overbreed, one ignored johnny at a time.

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Here's what YOU WON'T be able to do with your PlayStation 4

messele

Re: BetaMax comparison hardly fair...

Do you really want to knacker an expensive games console playing legacy formats when there is a CD/DVD/BD player six inches away from the PS4 in your AV stack?

Who listens to music through their TV anyway. Even MTV gave up on that idea.

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messele

Re: Commentards are xBots?

It's almost as if nobody was planning on plugging anything else into their TV and the lack of CD's etc. has dashed their dreams of having a one-size fits all solution therefore the PS4 must be crap.

Hands up who ever used a DVD or BD to play CD's...

I call bullshit. The PS4 could have all of these things and a little articulated arm that tickles your bollocks and NOBODY WOULD HAVE USED IT.

Apart from the little arm that tickles your bollocks but even that would get boring quickly.

Games consoles focused on games, what a novelty. If you want a console with a ton of half-baked ideas that don't work properly I'm sure Samsung will eventually release the Play Galaxy IV shit-flung-at-wall-edition.

If that's what you mean by copying Apple then great, I'm glad somebody is focused on the end-experience.

Until then if you don't like it...well you know.

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iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

messele

Re: A bit harsh

64-bit processors are slower than 32-bit because they have to process more bits for a given calculation? Wut? By that statement 16-bit processors must fly!

You do realise that mantissas are processed in parallel and therefore for 'up to' single precision numbers processing would take exactly the same time (given otherwise identical architecture).

For numbers of 32^1 +1 or larger (it's really not that big of a number, people always focus on 2^64 as being humungous but that's a smokescreen, 32-bit processors struggle just as much at 4.2... billion remember that's where the 32-bit TCP/IP address system crapped out).

In any case the architecture is much improved so there are advantages across the board, the only disadvantage is the memory required to store data, pointers etc. if coding isn't tight for SP numbers.

Ignorance is not an excuse to spread crap regarding the advantages of 64-bit architecture just because you are not onboard yet. Embrace the future.

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messele

Re: queues for laptops...

Yep exactly - they are tablets not laptops. It took way longer than I was expecting for somebody to actually correct my earlier comment, thanks for paying attention.

So what the hell is this quote from the article supposed to mean?

"The tech seems to be maturing," he added. "I remember old laptops, which used to break every year, so you needed to buy a new one. That's not the case anymore and Apple also face competition from Google or Samsung. Apple are still on top of the game, but you cannot expect them to do something different each time."

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messele

I'd missed your Apple bullshit for the last week or so Hamill, I was beginning to get concerned that they would find you face down in a pool of your own bitterness.

Since when were queues for laptops something that was noteworthy? You go for that big promotion, newshound!

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FREEZE, GLASSHOLE! California cops bust Google Glass driver

messele

Re: Glass-wearers involved in accidents

"In a court of law it is the responsibility to the accuser to prove your guilty, not for you to prove your innocent."

I'm going to laminate that and stick it to my front bumper. Then I can drive around like an arrogant, bullying arsehole and the last thing people will see as they disappear under my wheels is that pearl of wisdom.

"Good luck proving THAT in court now that you are raspberry jam on the pavement".

The level of idiocy in these comments is staggering, I thought I'd tuned into the BMW / Audi owners forum for a moment.

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messele

Re: Dear Moran

Know your memes.

"Get a brain Morans". Google it. On your glasses. While driving.

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