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* Posts by Evil Graham

750 posts • joined 8 Jun 2007

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

Evil Graham

I wish

I had a net worth of £8 million.

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SmartTV, dumb vuln: Philips hard-codes Miracast passwords

Evil Graham

Re: Autoplay video with sound? nice.....

And worse, the music sounds very like the sort of cheap and cheesy track that might accompany a porn flick.

Or so I am told.

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Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

Evil Graham

Re: "It's just for fun"

Exactly. I saw some 1960s footage of an avant garde artist being interviewed, and when he was asked to explain his art he said "well if I could explain it I wouldn't have to do the art would I?".

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Improbable: YOU gave model Lily Cole £200k for her Impossible.com whimsy-site

Evil Graham

In a nutshell

I read through her Telegraph article (OK I admit my eyes glazed over and I gave up half way down), but it's fair to say that Lily Cole's political stance can be summed up as "let's all be nice to each other".

That's lovely.

But why is it that we pay any credence at all to the opinions of famous people, outside of their normal area of expertise? Lily Cole is a supermodel, so I am sure she can offer valuable insights into fashion, first class travel and bulimia, but why should I care what she has to say about capitalism?

Similarly Bono. I am sure he's bang up to date on sunglasses you can wear indoors and where to get Cuban heels, but do I give a fuck about his views on the situation in Palestine / Syria / wherever? No I don't.

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Evil Graham

Re: Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

Actually I was hoping someone would answer it, and then I could have trotted out the classic cab driver joke reply:

"Haven't you got anything smaller?"

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Evil Graham

Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

Bit unfair really. How was she going to pay the cab fare?

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They want me to install CCTV to see what YOU did in the TOILET

Evil Graham

Re: Hang on a second

Yes there was a mention of gender. He wrote "blonde".

Erik would have been "blond".

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Twitter turns 8: Five tech kingpins whose first tweets are UNBELIEVABLE

Evil Graham

Re: To the point...

Although celebrities frequently outsource their tweeting to their PR teams - as we found out recently when L'Wren Scott was apparently still posting stuff an hour after being found dead.

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Evil Graham

Bill Gates' bottle opener

I imagine he is commissioning a batch right now.

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Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact

Evil Graham

It just needs re-branding

"in an entire tonne of it, just one lonely atom of caesium from Fukushima is decaying each second"

It's not nuclear waste, it's a homeopathic remedy.

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Microsoft's JavaScript challenger nears 1.0, wins Visual Studio love

Evil Graham

Re: Can't see the point myself.

I can sort of see the point. The reasoning is that yes, you can write nice code in pretty much any language - if you are a smart, responsible and capable kind of programmer. But it's a big and nasty world where not all programmers are like that. Some of them approach the job like a kid with a bag of crayons and a freshly painted wall.

So I suppose the thinking is that by providing a nicer, safer environment, you can limit the mess that the less skilled devs can do. Whether this is true, I don't know, but it can't hurt to have a better language - and the fact that it's a superset makes it easier to adopt.

Having said all that, my main worry is whether Microsoft can be trusted with Internet standards yet - they don't have a great track record.

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Big Beardie's watching: Gaze into the screen... it shall gaze also into you

Evil Graham

Re: Freaked out ...

This technology must have been out for ages. How else do you explain my inbox being full of baldness cures, weight loss pills and impotence remedies?

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Official: British music punter still loves plastic

Evil Graham

Re: The Price of everything, The value of nothing

"Lower the tonearm and listen for that slight crackle as the stylus locates in the groove. That "live" sound of the turntable bearing and then bliss."

- Well to be fair, it was the last music format on which you could skin up.

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Object to #YearOfCode? You're a misogynist and a snob, says the BBC

Evil Graham

Re: Condemnation By Extrapolation

I completely agree. These people aren't going to get kids into technology because they don't have any credibility.

My point was that you can't label all techies as misogynists and snobs on the basis of a few YouTube comments. Nor can you entirely blame these factors for keeping people out.

If you really want to get people into engineering then maybe raising the status of the engineering profession would be a good place to start. Perhaps some of our major corporations would find it easier to hire and retain good engineers if they didn't lay swathes of them off every time the share price drops a few points.

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Evil Graham

Condemnation By Extrapolation

Rory Cellan-Jones says:

"A glance at the comments under a YouTube video of Lottie Dexter's Newsnight interview reveals a murky world of misogyny and coding snobbery"

Well there's a surprise. That's just YouTube for you, what did you expect? Obviously we're not all like that.

It's just stereotyping, lazy journalism.

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Broker accuses FAST of scaring users off secondhand software

Evil Graham

Re: It can be a grey area ...

"Agreed, support in my mind (if it comes with a product purchase) expires with resale, like a car warranty."

But almost all car warranties nowadays are transferable, even the extended ones.

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HP's hiring: UK jobs for, er, UK workers.... maybe

Evil Graham

Corporate PR - that's a good job

They never seem to offshore that, do they?

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Think British weather is bad? It's nothing to this WOBBLY ALIEN planet

Evil Graham

Re: 2300 light years distance.. just 4 years to change anything from here?

"Of course there is no fixed speed of light thing..but the official science claims such a lie."

That's lucky. You'll be able to pop back in time and not enter that stupid comment.

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El Reg BuzzFelch: 10 Electrical Connectors You CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Evil Graham

Re: Showing my age ..

"Does anyone still remember Data Circuit Equipment and Data Terminal Equiment ?"

Sure do Jimmy. You had to figure out whether it was using DSR / DTR or RTS / CTS handshaking, or software handshake with XON / XOFF, Then match up the baud rate. Then how many bits and stop bits. And then the parity. Signal ground and protective ground.

It's a wonder we ever got anything working at all. Young people with their USB cables, don't know they're born.

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Evil Graham

What about the legend that is IEEE-488 (GPIB)?

That was a man's connector alright. Each one must have weighed 50 or 60 pounds and the connecting cable could have been used to hold up suspension bridges.

You couldn't have one of those on a modern namby-pamby instrument, oh no. You had to build a proper big heavy bastard with transformers and a chunky steel chassis, just to survive the strain from the connections.

All this and you had to measure the data transfer rate with a calendar. Those were the days

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Evil Graham

Re: BS 546

Quite right. And there should be a special award for BS1363 as "The Most Painful Mains Plug To Step On In Your Socks".

No foreign plug comes close.

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Volunteers slam plans to turn Bletchley Park into 'geeky Disneyland'

Evil Graham

Money, as always, is the problem

They desperately needed money, then the lottery cash arrived - and with it came a whole new bunch of people with ideas on how to spend it.

Remember the early lottery ads? "It could be you!" the disembodied voice proclaimed, as a big finger came out of the sky and pointed at random people on the street. I don't really think sacking elderly volunteers was what they had in mind.

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IBM and SAP: Looks like we're STUCK forever on the cloud highway

Evil Graham

Re: its about developers

That's a shame. It sounds like working for IBM is at least as depressing as being one of their customers.

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Microsoft seeks patent for blade server chassis

Evil Graham

"wonderful gadgets filling our lives"

Should be: "wonderful gadgets filling our landfill sites", no?

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Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

Evil Graham

Re: Re:Footage is stored for on the cloud for five hours

Exactly.

Five hours, or forever. Depending on whether you've paid the inevitable hackers their fee.

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Cocky Spotify drops time limits on free listening, skint music-lovers cheer

Evil Graham

Re: Self-advertising

That's a drag. I haven't used it for a while, but last time I was there the only ad was that poxy British Gas one, with some avuncular London geezer droning over Blur's "The Universal".

I was wondering if this new-found advertising revenue might come from having more than just one ad, but apparently not.

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Bloke hews plywood Raspberry Pi tablet

Evil Graham

Re: @Chris W: .... @Danbo

Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one [argument] and then see how it goes.

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Evil Graham

@Chris W: Re: .... @Danbo

I think he's referring to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug8nHaelWtc

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Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

Evil Graham

Never Mind The Bollocks

Here's the Sex Pistol

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Planning to rob a Windows ATM? Ditch the sledgehammer and bring a USB STICK

Evil Graham

Convenience over security

Yet another example of manufacturers leaving a handy little back door in there, just in case they might want to run some diagnostics or do an update.

Just like the other story about wireless routers. And no doubt shedloads of other systems we don't know about yet because hackers haven't got round to them.

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Alicia Keys throws in towel on BlackBerry's creative director job

Evil Graham

Encouraging women into STEM?

"During her time at BlackBerry, Key [sic] organised a scholarship scheme to encourage women to study STEM subjects."

This is a very laudable idea and I for one would be very pleased to see more women getting into these subjects. But I can't help wondering what the fuck Ms Keys has got to do with it, seeing as how she made bazillions of dollars in a completely different career altogether.

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Samsung: Men, our Gear smartwatch will make you a hit with the sexy ladies

Evil Graham

Nothing will ever top

The Windows 7 "host your own launch party" ads:

http://gawker.com/5366070/host-your-own-awful-party-for-windows-7

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

Evil Graham

Re: This company really is..

"the Osama Bin Laden of the tech world"

I was thinking more like the Norman Wisdom.

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Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

Evil Graham

Re: Bit sexist really

That's interesting, Since when did "nest" become the collective name for men?

Or is it the collective name only for the rapey ones?

If it's freely available, I might start to use it in conversation: "Coming down the pub? There'll be a nest of us down there". Or "just popping out with the nest".

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El Reg's contraptions confessional no.3: the Apple G4 Cube

Evil Graham

Not just beautiful, quiet too

Quietness is a lovely thing to have in a computer.

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How the UK's national memory lives in a ROBOT in Kew

Evil Graham

Massive symbols

"And what language do you propose we write it in? Hieroglyphs?"

A big fuck-off barcode, which will require the construction of a big fuck-off barcode reader, which will emit a big fuck-off beep when future generations scan the moon.

And then a really big fuck-off "unexpected item in bagging area".

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Shivering boffins nail Earth's coldest spot

Evil Graham

Re: Pfff. Slightly chilly at best.

"My wife can made our living room much colder than that with a single stare if (ok, when) I forget an anniversary. Then I get to stay there and sleep on the sofa. Brrrrr. Parky"

- And then you discover there's another kind of "air tight box".

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Mexican Cobalt-60 robbers are DEAD MEN, say authorities

Evil Graham

Speaking of criminal

Kipping in a petrol station while your truckload of nuclear waste is parked outside - that's criminally negligent as well. It's all very well saying the thieves deserve what they get, but they could have dumped the stuff anywhere. And the outcome could have been a lot worse.

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When the lights went out: My 'leccy-induced, bog floor crawling HORROR

Evil Graham

Getting old

A tender subject at the moment, having just gone past the half century myself.

One of my co-workers is celebrating his 29th birthday, and while I was pondering this news I realised with some despondency that my guitar is older than he is.

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Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

Evil Graham

Business opportunity for Ryanair?

Undercut everyone else - as long as you are OK with your deliveries always being left with a neighbour.

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FAT PIPE for ALL: Britain’s new tech firms take it from the telcos

Evil Graham

BT has other priorities

It's far too busy throwing money at footballers.

Installing cables and stuff is sooo last-century.

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MILEY CYRUS in JUST HER PANTIES would LOVE a smartwatch: Samsung

Evil Graham

Say what you like about Miley

At least she hasn't unleashed a song quite as bad as her dad's big hit, "Achy Breaky Heart".

Actually, nobody has.

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Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

Evil Graham

Re: @Ledswinger "Friday afternoon journalism" - was Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

Why stop there? I want Friday afternoon all week long.

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Stephen Hawking: 'Boring' Higgs Boson discovery cost me $100

Evil Graham

I did 1,000 hours work at University

And therefore I am also a genius.

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Microsoft bags another glamorous Office 365 customer

Evil Graham

Are they going to change the name in Europe?

Will it be "Euroland"? Or "Pays de Euro"?

And presumably the items will be even smaller, or fewer, or crappier?

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ULTIMATE ELECTRIC driving machine? Yes, it’s the BMW i3 e-car

Evil Graham

That's some battery

An 8 year warranty on a battery - that's impressive. They should go into the laptop business.

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FLIGHTMARE! Inflight cell calling debuts, dealing heavy blow to quality of life

Evil Graham

Re: Meh?

"are you expecting people to just sit in their seat and not say a word for 6, 9, 18 hours or however long they are sat there for?"

Not expecting. Just hoping.

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EYE-GASMIC: Apple MacBook Pro 15-inch with Retina Display

Evil Graham
Joke

I have a non-retina 15" MBP

And crap eyesight.

I get the same experience, but cheaper.

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'Only NUCLEAR power can SAVE HUMANITY', say Global Warming high priests

Evil Graham

Unfortunately

We (the UK) lost yet another technology lead because we've been battered into submission by decades of enviro-loon propaganda.

So now that we've finally decided to build some nuclear reactors as a matter of some urgency, it's likely that much of the tech (and a fair bit of the finance) will have to come from overseas.

It's a shame. We could have been building these for everyone else.

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Coding: 'suitable for exceptionally dull weirdos'

Evil Graham

He's got a point

Let's teach kids to pursue an interesting and worthwhile career in something more productive instead.

Something noble that benefits humanity.

Like journalism, perhaps.

[With apologies to El Reg]

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