* Posts by Evil Graham

870 posts • joined 8 Jun 2007

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

Evil Graham
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Lost train passengers

The reason you attract hordes of needy travellers at train stations is simple: you can't possibly be less helpful than the people who work there.

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Untangling .NET Core: Open source for Windows, Mac, Linux

Evil Graham
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<whatever> is the future

None of this sounds like a terribly bad idea, but Microsoft have had too many of these epiphanies. Every time they change direction, they leave behind armies of developers who have invested sweat and money in the last-greatest-thing.

People are going to take a lot of convincing this time.

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Tor takes off the gloves after sustained staffer harassment

Evil Graham
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Anyway, back to the point

I read the statement a few times and as far as I can tell, the main thing that they are going to do is "fuck all".

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Sonic BOOM: 10 blast-tastic soundbars

Evil Graham
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Re: £800 for a SOUNDBAR!

That's more than I spent on the telly.

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Europe's top court mulls vandal's right to privacy after bloke catches thug on home CCTV

Evil Graham
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"Well, you probably aren't going home any time soon... ;-)"

Or you might be going to a lovely new home, where the weather is much hotter and everyone wears an orange jumpsuit.

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Put me through to Buffy's room, please. Sony hackers leak stars' numbers, travel aliases

Evil Graham
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Re: Just wondering

I do this in reverse, and travel everywhere under the name of "Sarah Michelle Gellar".

You should see the the looks of disappointment when I turn up.

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Plusnet customers SWAMPED by spam but BT-owned ISP dismisses data breach claims

Evil Graham
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Re: Multiple addresses are a doddle

"NAH, not that easy for most... going to gmail or yahoo is much easier"

FWIW you can do it with Google mail as well. Gmail supports aliases with a + separator, so if you are myname@gmail.com you can also be myname+plusnetarebastards@gmail.com

Not nuclear-hard, but it tells you who's leaking your stuff.

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Adobe appoints former Reg man as open-source chief mobile lead

Evil Graham
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Re: The shame. The shame.

Damn. I needed "synergy" for a line.

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Sky: We're no longer calling ourselves British. Yep. And Broadcasting can do one, too

Evil Graham
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I'm waiting for BBC to follow suit

Wouldn't it be great if they were just called "C"?

"The Corporation". Cool.

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Evil Graham
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Re: The Bible

You can't deny it shifted a load of copies though. With that level of success I'm surprised they didn't do a sequel.

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Redmond aims to outshine Eclipse with FREE Visual Studio

Evil Graham
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It's not really competing with Eclipse though

Eclipse may not be perfect, but its openness takes some beating. I can develop in pretty much any language I want, on any of the major platforms (and some quite minor ones), and target everything from an Arduino upwards.

So not the same thing at all really.

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My HOUSE used to be a PUB: How to save the UK high street

Evil Graham
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Re: Pubs already being converted

Ditto. Many pubs being converted to flats round my way.

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Hacker Hammond's laptop protected by pet password

Evil Graham
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Not much of a deal was it?

"Hammond [...] was sentenced to the maximum 10 years prison under his guilty plea deal"

I'm not all that familiar with the US legal system, but this implies that he did a deal and pleaded guilty, which is usually done in exchange for a lighter sentence.

So how come he got the maximum stretch? What would they have done if he pleaded not guilty, sentence him to more than the maximum?

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Samsung slams door on OLED TVs, makes QUANTUM dot LEAP

Evil Graham
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This argument has been made before

About cinema and television.

Why would people troop off down to the flicks to watch a big screen, when they could all have small personal TVs at home?

Sure, cinema attendances declined for a while and people changed their viewing habits, but the essential big screen experience didn't disappear. It just got augmented by other formats.

You can rinse and repeat for many other "new" technologies.

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Interstellar: An awesome sci-fi spectacle – just cut the hamminess, please

Evil Graham
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Re: Why does humanity deserve to survive?

It must be Lager Loving Lesbians then.

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I am POLICE SERGEANT L. TORVALDS! Stop or I'll SHOOT

Evil Graham
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You have the right to remain silent

But anything you do say may be distributed widely on various forums and used to beat you up until you write some decent code, or die a horrible death. Whichever comes first.

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Virgin 'spaceship' pilot 'UNLOCKED tailbooms' going through SOUND BARRIER

Evil Graham
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Re: "Wealthy customers have signed up in large numbers to see a black sky "

They could just stand on their money...

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

Evil Graham
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Re: Straight vs Gay

"...the experience that is my first prostate exam"

In an amazing coincidence I had one this year on the same day that the vet had to rectally insert a digit into our dog.

Judging by the look on the dog's face, we both felt the same way about it.

On the plus side I feel our shared trauma has bonded us in a way that outsiders wouldn't understand.

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iPad Air 2: Vulture chews on new Apple tablet

Evil Graham
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Yay - death to glossy

I haven't got an iPad but this gave me hope:

"There’s an extra anti-reflective coating on the surface now which goes a long way to answering the age-old criticism of all and every glass screen – the glare from reflected ambient light."

Maybe our laptop screens will get some antireflective love now.

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Kingston's aviation empire: From industry firsts to Airfix heroes

Evil Graham
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Brilliant

And I have to say - "Octave" - that's a *proper* gentleman's middle name.

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Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know

Evil Graham
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There's always a human somewhere

As we saw on wikileaks a few years ago when drone operators happily blew up a minibus containing women, children and assorted wounded casualties.

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Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

Evil Graham
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Re: Hypermiling

"Perhaps I just hate everyone.."

Nothing wrong with that.

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Evil Graham
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What about the fuel injection?

Great article. This car is a prime candidate for junking the ancient ECU and replacing it with a modern hackable unit like a Megasquirt. You could have hours of fun with your laptop, tuning your car for optimum efficiency (or power, or whatever takes your fancy).

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Torvalds CONFESSES: 'I'm pretty good at alienating devs'

Evil Graham
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Frustration

I doubt that Linus stomps round like Malcolm Tucker all the time. From what I've seen, most of his rants are down to terminal frustration, when someone is causing a problem and earlier complaints haven't been addressed.

It's a big project, involving a lot of smart and headstrong people. I bet the same stuff goes on behind the scenes of many tech companies, it's just that you don't see it.

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Martha Lane Fox: YEUCH! The Internet is MADE by MEN?!?

Evil Graham
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Re: NOT MALE

"I know more about electronics / software / computers than anyone I know."

But we don't know who you know.

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Evil Graham
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Re: Utopian drivel

"After all, those people that died in wars to support democracy, also died for our freedom to choose."

Well they died for freedom full stop. In my opinion that should include the freedom to not vote, if that's what you want.

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EE TV: Network snubs 'Auntie's antique' for mobe-happy set-top box

Evil Graham
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Re: Designed their own EPG

"And why does it need two, slightly different, clocks within ten pixels of each other?"

- and a minute apart?

Seriously, I think the top one is built in to the Android tablet's menu bar, so the EPG doesn't know anything about it. No idea why they disagree about the time though.

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HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

Evil Graham
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My solemn promise

If I ever see any suitably-qualified, yet stunningly attractive, candidates for our engineering vacancies - I guarantee not to discriminate against them.

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SLOSH! Cops dethrone suspect - by tipping over portaloo with him inside

Evil Graham
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Re: "Well at least they'll have some manure"

Blimey. That told me.

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Evil Graham
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"All four officers have been put on gardening leave with full pay while an investigation is carried out."

Well at least they'll have some manure.

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Business is back, baby! Hasta la VISTA, Win 8... Oh, yeah, Windows 9

Evil Graham
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It's about time MS gave the corporate market some love

Because I sure as hell wouldn't use their stuff in my own time.

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Indian MOM just LOVES it on Mars, tweets fave holiday snap

Evil Graham
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Re: Do you get what you pay for?

"I wouldn't care if I just had a cellphone duct-taped to the side for pictures."

Knowing my luck, a firmware update would break the camera when it got there...

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Fake tape detectors, 'from the stands' footie and UGH! Internet of Things in my set-top box

Evil Graham
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Law abiding Mongolians

Good for them, they don't seem to be pirating anything.

Cue the massive trade delegation to fly out first class and find out how they do it.

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'Kim Kardashian snaps naked selfies with a BLACKBERRY'. *Twitterati gasps*

Evil Graham
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I think it's a good strategy really

Faced with a decline in public awareness, celebrities have to do get back in the public eye.

Traditionally, this would have involved 3 weeks in the Australian jungle with a bunch of other D-listers, during which you have to eat raw kangaroo bollocks and pretend that Ant and Dec are funny.

So now any sleb with a bit of common sense can bypass all that. Five minutes with a front-facing camera, a carefully orchestrated "leak" and voila - everyone knows your name. And what your arse looks like.

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Evil Graham
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Re: Golf

Have an upvote for not liking golf.

The game is bad enough, but even worse are the fucking people who play it.

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Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM

Evil Graham
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Not quite true

The NSA will know.

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Scotland wins WORLD RECORD as voters head to referendum polls

Evil Graham
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"Plucky"?

Nice story, but you could have avoided the sports reporter cliche.

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Huawei: There'll be BLOOD spilled in the smartphone sector soon

Evil Graham
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Re: "luxury"

Oooh, we dreamed of a coal stove. We 'ad to carve messages into t'rock with our fingernails - and woe betide us if we went over 140 characters or father would strangle us with a charger cable.

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India's MOM Mars mission makes final course correction

Evil Graham
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Re: Nail on the head.

Hmm. To paraphrase, the original post said "there's poverty in India, so why spend money on space missions?".

My post said "there was poverty in 1970s America, and people said the same thing at the time".

Failing to see the strawman there. Just pointing out an analogous situation.

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Evil Graham
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Re: Nail on the head.

This argument is nothing new. At the height of the space race in 1970, there was a hit song in America called "Whitey On The Moon" - the point being that poor black people were paying taxes and getting not much share of the pie, while the government spent billions putting (white) men on the moon.

I've got sympathy with anyone in a position of poverty who sees these things as an expensive waste, but I don't believe that cutting research programmes would suddenly mean "yay, no more poor people". In the long term, it probably has the opposite effect.

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5 Nigerian gangs dominate Craigslist buyer scams

Evil Graham
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I don't need to worry about this

I got an email from Mark Carney this week, he's the Governor of the Bank of England in case you didn't know.

Apparently there's TWENTY MILLION SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS waiting for me to collect. So, in a couple of weeks I really don't think I'll be bothered if someone rips me off for the odd laptop.

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Even better than the iThing: Apple's Cook is strictly pro Bono

Evil Graham
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Re: How appropriate

Look on the bright side, every minute he's on stage with Apple is a minute he's not making boring records or preaching about something.

I bet he wears his sunglasses indoors as well.

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Jimbo tells Wikipedians: You CAN'T vote to disable 'key software features'

Evil Graham
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"Consultation" - that's an interesting word

It's the same word, for example, that your employer uses when you are about to lose your job.

When someone says that you'll be consulted on something, you shouldn't ever infer that you are going to get a say in the final decision.

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CNN 'tech analyst' on NAKED CELEBS: WHO IS this mystery '4chan' PERSON?

Evil Graham
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It's difficult to remember all those passwords

So I like to use a handy aide-memoire, such as the name of my dog.

That works very well, but now I am having trouble getting &eT6x_!"%pZ#12 to come back when I call him.

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Weekend reads: Colorless Tsukuru, Kool Korea and strange encounters with IKEA wardrobes

Evil Graham
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Re: Murakami does chic-lit

"This book was more like a Danielle Steel romance".

That doesn't sound promising, but I'm still going to have to read it because I've liked his other books a lot.

What would you say is the best Murakami book to start with? The first one I read was "Wind Up Bird Chronicle" and it would still be my favourite.

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Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Evil Graham
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Re: "Slim headlamps can make a vehicle’s exterior appear more determined and aggressive"

"I have come to the conclusion that if I /can/ move aside I will because I have no idea what someone else's emergency is."

OK maybe I didn't spell it out well enough. I don't drive slowly, but I'm not a nutter. I am really very happy to get out of the way whenever I can, but often it isn't possible. At such times, it's kind of stressful to have some spunkbubble in a mid-range saloon trying to ram me out of the way.

And no, I don't believe they are all taking a sick child to A&E. More likely they are just twats.

And Ford isn't helping by making the front of their cars look like angry sharks.

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Evil Graham
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Re: "Slim headlamps can make a vehicle’s exterior appear more determined and aggressive"

“Slim headlamps can make a vehicle’s exterior appear more determined and aggressive”

Speaking as a car-owning driver, I can't help thinking about the even more determined and aggressive middle managers who will driving 2 inches from my arse at 80mph on the way to a breakfast briefing, or a game of squash, or some other pointless wank that they consider to be life-threateningly important.

And no, before you ask, I don't hog the middle lane on motorways.

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BT customers face broadband and landline price hikes

Evil Graham
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Re: It wouldn't be so bad...

"Oh, it's a re-run of the football cock-up? That nearly killed ITV, as I recall, with the football on digital TV."

I don't think BT is at risk of going under, but its customers are certainly at risk of more price increases. BT spunked £900 million on 3 years of Champions League coverage starting from next year and they have to get the money from somewhere.

If you listen to their adverts for broadband at the moment they are saying that football coverage is "still free" with their service.

I don't know about you, but that strongly implies to me that it soon won't be.

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Hollywood star Robin Williams dies of 'suspected suicide' at 63

Evil Graham
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Re: Mork Calling Orson

"Sad news. When will we take mental health seriously?"

Good point. Depression is a terrible thing. When you think that a man with his success and wealth could get to a point where death is actually the better option, it really makes you think.

There are no quick fixes, but a wider acceptance and understanding of mental health issues would certainly help.

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Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE

Evil Graham
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Re: Builders don't put up with this shit

"I think the people who built the empire drank delicate tea from fine china cups"

You're thinking of the people who *ran* the empire.

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