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* Posts by MooseMonkey

30 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen

MooseMonkey

I need to buy some glasses

I updated my sat nav, my bike computer, my laptop for bigger screens, then realised it was me.

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It's EE vs Vodafone: 'How good is my signal' study descends into network bunfight

MooseMonkey

Most people buy on price....

.. then wonder why there hasn't been investement in coverage or service.

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Santa brings Dixons £31m profits as ghost of Comet is laid to rest

MooseMonkey

No eye contact, a good plan...

As you'll need to keep your eyes on the till, to make sure they aren't signing you up to a support contract for what you are buying, without telling you!!

Did it to me a few years ago, told me it was a warranty. I should have read it, but as it had taken them 45 mins to get the bloody laptop through the till in the first place, I'd lost the will to live. They lost about £2000 a year of custom for that one...

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Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack in bullet-hard chickpea drama

MooseMonkey
FAIL

you bought bread???

I know it's more difficult in Spain, because my experience is that the UK has much better supermarkets, but buying a loaf of bread for a euro when you are on a restricted budget, madness.

ASDA will sell you 1.5kg of bread flour for 80p, you can make a sour dough starter and have three loaves for the price of one shop bought one. You just need to add a pinch or two of salt, some water and find somewhere to bake it. Again, in Spain, you should be able to build a clay oven and use spare wood lying around :)

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Smart metering will disrupt weather forecasts, warns Met Office

MooseMonkey
FAIL

All the savings will be spent on....

... benefits for the meter readers who have been made redundant.

Actually, probably not, as the metering will become so complex, we'll need 24/7 support and double the number of people in vans to come out to reboot them.

Windows Vista smart meter anyone?

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O2 flogs new GPS mobile-based telecare to sick and elderly

MooseMonkey
Joke

Re: Did you not read the first paragraph of the article?

It was being transmitted by a mobile device, so it just cut out halfw

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Don't get 2e2'd: How to survive when your IT supplier goes titsup

MooseMonkey
FAIL

Expect the unexpected

I'm not going to mention names, I don' t want them to come and get me. I worked for a large utility that had gone to the effort of having two centres, six miles apart, away from known aircraft routes, fault lines, rivers, volcanos, lay lines and crop circles. They then built their billing machines over in the sites, 100% redundancy of everything, right down to power from different grid supply points (we're talking 400,000V network tracing). As a utility, they billed millions a day at sod all margin, so they needed the cash flow to pay suppliers quickly, we used to talk about 10 days without billing means even the banks would stop lending money.

I was a grad given a project to check the business continuity, what was expected to be another pointless exercise they ran every year to keep the useless grads busy for a month. They were in for a shock, a factory that was halfway between our sites and used to process nothing in particular had changed hands, so I wrote to them asking what they did for business contiuity and if we could learn anything, seemed like something to do in my month to write this report.

The start of paragraph two said it all "As a processor of chemicals who have a statutory 10 mile exclusion zone should there be a confirmed leak......"

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Telefonica Germany starts bonking with friends

MooseMonkey
Facepalm

Dumbkoff

Try getting rid of cheques before cash.

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Engineers are cold and dead inside, research shows

MooseMonkey
Mushroom

Die non-engineering scum

The whole reason I did solid state optoelectronics engineering degree is to I could make Laser Glasses to kill off all non engineers. b*stard Google have now ruined my fun.

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Scientists spin carbon nanotube threads on industrial scale

MooseMonkey

Re: replace all those copper cables that the metal thieves nick all the time

They won't be after they've burned them to get the copper out...

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'Leccy-starved Reg hack: 'How I survive on 1.5kW'

MooseMonkey
Megaphone

Re: You say "boletín" I say "Part P Certificate"

Absolutley right. I have and electrical engineering degree, was trained by an electricity company to be a distribution engineer (able to work on 240v to 132,000v) and I still have to pay some half assed monkey to check my work.

That wouldn't be so bad, but when I moved into this house, 19 of the 23 light switches weren't wired correctly, and half of the lights in the place ran from a plug fed from the downstairs sockets ringmain. I know the person who lived here before, he doesn't even own a screwdriver and a hammer, so it wasn't him who did it, it was the original builders electrician and the "qualified idiots" that were hired afterwards.

When Part P was proposed, I looked up in the HSE website how many fatalities had been caused by DIY electrical work in the last 5 years, it was something like 3, more people died in Bagel related accidents than that.

Just paper for papers sake..

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FAVI smacks your dumb TV with £30 Android SmartStick

MooseMonkey

Re: Addressing the digital divide?

I'm sure they did, but most of them have closed down now, those that are left rarely open past 3.30 outside of big cities / towns.

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So you broke our encrypted files? Ha! They were DOUBLY encrypted

MooseMonkey
Happy

Paperwork...

I'm not overly worried about hackers going after my stored personal files, they aren't of any use to the average person. I'm more worried that in the good old US of A, any local sheriff seems to be able to get a court order (or whatever they call them over there) and get all your data on a whim.

My files are hosted in Germany, at least the courts make the security forces turn up before they hand all my files over. The best security of course is the fact my documents are crap, and anyone reading them will implode with boredom.

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Apple unveils iPad mini, upgrades its big brother

MooseMonkey

Prices

Ipad Mini

Wifi Only

16GB £269

32GB £349

64GB £429

Wi-Fi + Cellular

16GB £369

32GB £449

64GB £529

I'm waiting to see how much for a 32 GB Nexus 7 3g please...

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It's official: Apple will reveal 'a little more' on October 23

MooseMonkey
Happy

Hurry up already...

I'm hoping a "cheap" iPad mini will drive the 32G Nexus 7 3g to market, reduce it's price and enable it right into my sweaty hands.

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Natwest freezes debit cards, online banking in fresh cock-up

MooseMonkey
Happy

Re: Not always bad

I don't think £20 notes fit in the £10 note canister, they are sized to fit the note, and £20's are bigger

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O2 outage outrage blamed on new Ericsson database

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Carriers, prepare to bleed: EU pops a cap on data roaming

MooseMonkey

O2 new data tariff

Looks like O2 have announced a data tariff, £1.99 per day for 25MB in europe, that looks like a slightly better rate! No details as yet, but may be a prepay thing

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Future car tech

MooseMonkey

Re: I'm a genius....

you answered it, the chip is gsm enabled. My genius is undiminished :-)

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MooseMonkey
Alert

I'm a genius....

... reading these comments brought something to mind. Keeping uninsured, unlicenced and untaxed drivers off the road, all that information should be on a smart chip, if you don't have one, the car won't start. If you lend yours to someone, you get prosecuted for their crimes. If it was actually encrypted properly, it may even reduce car theft too.

Copyright me, if it does turn out to be genius, or you can have it for free if this post gets ripped to bits by people who have thought it through more than I have in the last 30 seconds.

MK

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O2 quietly cans gratis Cloud Wi-Fi connectivity

MooseMonkey
IT Angle

El Reg....

Did you even check your story on this? I had two texts about the cloud too, and it appears most of your commenters did. This isn't meant to be news of the world, check your facts just a little.

Maybe the next story will be "El Reg quietly removes readers comments". Not that you can prove its me, as you gave my fucking log in details away last year.

I wonder if the fact I'm typing this and the whole page is sponsored by Orange is a coincidence?

Disappointed

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Ryanair ponders in-air mucky movie service

MooseMonkey
Thumb Down

usual publicity seeking rubbish

He only says these things to get free advertising, we should all ignore him, then maybe he will go away

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Stallman: Did I say Jobs was evil? I meant really evil

MooseMonkey

I'm not too stupid

Very arrogant statement itzman.

I'm not too stupid, just can't be bothered to take home work with me. I've worked in the sharp end of It for 20 years, and have built and rolled out over 15,000 desktops in the last 12 months.

When I get home, I've had enough, and want to spend time with my lovely wife and go play on my bike.

You calling me stupid is about the same as me assuming you have a beard and are single, just cos you like to build your own PCs.

I'm sorry if I don't fit into your sterotype, but life sucks like that doesn't it.

(PS, being an engineer, I could build my own fridge too, but I didn't)

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MooseMonkey
Happy

I'm a Mac User (I confess)

I don't care if it has digital handcuffs, it does all I want it to do, and I don't have time to piss around with it to make it do other things anyway.

It is pretty, had to be, so the Wife Acceptance Factor was high enough for me to be able to leave it around the house without getting shouted at.

My fridge is just a fridge, I bought it knowing it just keeps things cold, I'm not going to get annoyed or outraged that I have been prevented turning it into an effing toaster.

Some people just want to use things the way they come out of the box. If that makes me stupid in your eyes, great, I'll live.

Flame away :-)

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El Reg in SHOCK email address BLUNDER

MooseMonkey
FAIL

Did I post this, or was it someone using my details you gave away...

TWATS, that was my favourite alias....

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O2 tries to one-up the Apple store with SMB lounge

MooseMonkey
Happy

I wondered....

.... where my stolen garden furniture was going to end up

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Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo bow to Apple sales edict

MooseMonkey

Solution....

.... don't upgrade your kindle app, mine still has the button in it, so I'm not going to upgrade it.

Better solution - buy a kindle, they are excellent at what they are designed to do..

nuf said

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Apple's MobileMe has a wobble

MooseMonkey
FAIL

Never Mind Mobile Me....

The Apple TV servers have been broken for about 8 days, for most people this means they can't upgrade, for many it means they can't restore their bricked units.

I'm surprised el reg hasn't picked up on this, hundreds of pee'd off people here!

https://discussions.apple.com/message/15510333#15510333

MM

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Ford CEO talks up e-car future

MooseMonkey
Happy

Focus is still a "big car"

I know we need the space for the batteries, but the modern focus is still a fairly big car.

When my first generation focus was ready for the scrap heap, I looked at the new focus, and it had grown in every direction and weight.

In the end, I went for the new Fiesta, which had also grown, and in fact was the same width and height as the old focus, and only 13cm less in length.

Some real efficiencies could be made by cars stopping this growing cycle, so I wonder what the range would be in a Fiesta with the same batteries as the focus.

As someone who tries to keep cars 6 or 7 years, I'm hoping my next car will be electric, juiced up by my local Nuclear Power Station

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Park the Mario Kart, and throw your keys in the bowl

MooseMonkey

Twister is dead

Obviously it is not the done thing to just chuck your keys in a bowl these days, so it saves you having twister in the house to start your party.

That will be why they insist you put the rubber cover on the controller, safe Wii'ing or no Wii'ing

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