* Posts by MrDamage

532 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

MrDamage
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Re: Citation provided.

Yes, I'm Brian. And so is my wife.

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MrDamage
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Joke

Citation provided.

If the phone is on vibrate, goes off and gives your gristle a tingle, just glancing in the general direction of a body-builders girlfriend with the resulting lump in the trouser department, has been known to be hazardous to your health.

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MrDamage
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Re: Shock news!

Don't worry. The lowly paid intern responsible for churning out the canned statements will be summarily defenestrated for their trangression.

Apple will be back to their SOP of ignoring all El Reg requests for comment in no time.

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Botched NBN installs leave folks with no internet, or recourse

MrDamage
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Re: I've dealt with the TIO before.

I've dealt with them to, with a satisfactory outcome.

My complaints about Vodfone's constant network failures, was met by Vodafone telling me my phone at the time (HTC Desire Z) was incompatible with their network. Fair enough, except one slight problem, they sold me the phone, it was branded with their ROM (when I bought it at least, and was flashed back to it during the complaints to ensure they couldn't claim any BS), and still under warranty.

Vodafone offerd to "upgrade" me to all sorts of other phones, none of which had the features I required, which was Android OS and a physical QWERTY keyboard.

Got in contact with the TIO, told them the problem, and what I expected (either another android based qwerty phone, or immediate release from the contract without termination fees), and they basically poked Vodafone with a pointy stick until I got released from my contract.

Consequently took my phone to Telstra, and had no such network issues until they finally started converting the 3G frequencies over to 4G, and finally killed off GSM.

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Optus joins iiNet with free-to-download Netflix offer for Australians

MrDamage
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Telstra/Foxtel

I don't see why Telstra shouldn't, given how Foxtel are touting the idea tat they too will become an ISP, it stands to reason that if they start muscling in on Telstra's territory, then Telstra should have no qualms about offering services which muscle in on Foxtel's.

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Reg exec in deluxe roo-skin pen case beernami trauma

MrDamage
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FTFY

You you take your fav luxury leather case, you fill it with all your most essential tinnies, and thereafter put a laptop, phone and headphones in there with them. What could possibly go wrong?

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Belgium will drag Facebook to court if it has to – privacy minister

MrDamage
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Just because it's optional,

It does not give them the right to break laws wherever or whenever they like.

Say. for example, you decided to sign up to "Damage Inc Social Network", and buried deep within the T&C's of the site, I reserved the right to come around to your house and give you a liberal dose of prison sex while you slept. Now, just because you did a click-through of the T&C's and didn't actually read it, it does not mean I actually have the legal right to break into your house and sodomise you roughly whilst you sleep.

If the region in which you live/login from allows such activities, then all well and good for me, but not so good for you.

If where you live would consider my actions to be breaking and entering (both of your house, and your sphincter), then I deserve to be punished for my transgressions.

Furthermore, any changes to the privacy policies should be made aware to the end user prior to the rollover date, so they have the opportunity to delete all of their content and stop using the service. The fact these things are pushed through without warning, often with the blurb "continued use of this service indicates acceptance of the changes", means people are given no choice but to "agree" if they want to be able to either delete, or backup, the data they have stored.

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Apple Pay a haven for 'rampant' credit card fraud, say experts

MrDamage
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Apple deserves it share of the blame

In the past, they have not been afraid to dictate to both users and companies alike, exactly how they are to do business with Apple.

If Apple release this form of payment method, without demanding a high threshold of identification and verification parameters to be able to use this service, they they are just as much to blame as the banks.

And yes, I would say the exact same thing about google wallet if they allow such lax measures to be used for verification.

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SpaceX lofts two all-electric ion-drive comsats to Clarke orbit

MrDamage
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Curious

The EU (French) mob are deploying theirs over the Americas, and the American (Carribean) based mob are planting theirs over Europe.

<tinfoil hat>Something arranged by the NSA/GHCQ as part of their information sharing regime no doubt. </tinfoil hat>

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Twitter probes terror threat: Medieval murder mob ISIS allegedly puts co-founder in crosshairs

MrDamage
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Don't make a martyr

As that is exactly how his flunkies will view him once he is taken out "by the forces of the great satan".

Kidnap, load up with liberal amounts of Ecstasy, poppers, and have him pictured cavorting with loads of nubile and naked young men. Starve him, and then film him chowing down on plenty of pork produce to satisfy his hunger.

Discredit and destroy. It will be more effective than just killing him.

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Turnbull's model e-gov service is HIPSTER SHAMBLES

MrDamage
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FTFY

Australia's online government services effort will likely repeat some is a stupid and costly mistakes.

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W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time

MrDamage
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Dilemma

Do I buy 2 of these devices, or do I just stop changing hands every 100 strokes?

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

MrDamage
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El Reg unit of measurement

I vote for either the Kirsty, or the Oprah.

Given the widely fluctuating sizes of those 2, and some of the absolute shite that pours out of their mouths, I think they would be ideal for a fluctuating measurement of strangeness.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

MrDamage
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FTFY

But Morris said that the idea of starting with open source didn't last long in Redmond because Microsoft wanted to control its own code didn't want everyone in the OSS world to see just how shoddily MS write code.

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Bad dog! PrivDog chews HTTPS, hurls clear text

MrDamage
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Once a fan...

Of Comodo products, as I found their AV/Security suite to be one of the better free offerings, as well as their tightened versions of Firefox. Never installed PrivDog as I relied more on total ad blocking, with the various AdBlock offerings and forks.

Now, I'm looking at removing all of their products form my systems and going with something else.

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Zeus scumbag infects itself, buddies, with rival Trojan

MrDamage
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Re: OT but ...

Brisbane Lions' Michael Voss.

The particular maneuvoure whereby one catches the ball with their face, is commonly called "a falcon".

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Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

MrDamage
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Re: I applaud this research

What's the difference between pink and purple?

Whether its a natural or bionic hand gripping the tool.

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Amazon tries to patent 3D printers on trucks

MrDamage
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Re: How on Earth is this patentable?

Agreed. Having this patentable, is like having a patent on all those vans driving around dispensing soft-serve ice cream.

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Give us a week to GUT Superfish, begs Lenovo CTO

MrDamage
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Exploring a wide range of options..

That include "working directly with users, privacy/security experts and others to create the right preload strategy quickly"

Operating system, fully patched. Latest device drivers. Nothing else.

Its then up to the owner to put what THEY want on the PC.

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Australian ISPs agree to three-strikes-plus-court-order anti-piracy plan

MrDamage
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Re: Is it possible ...

Better still, how about spoofing the IP addresses of the lawyers representing Dallas Buyers Club LLC.

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Spacewalking NASA 'nauts hook up power and data cables to ISS Harmony module

MrDamage
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You think you 'ad it tough.

Back in my day, we 'ad to run 50 ohm coax ourselves, crawling through the ducts pulling the cabling wit' our teeth, breathin' in the asbestos insulation and positively relishing in the feel of fresh rat droppings squishing under our palms. An' when we completed our run, we 'ad to termite the cabling wit' our testicles.

Cat3 across the floor? Luxury!

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A cookie with a 7,984-year lifespan. Blimey, Roy Batty only got 4!

MrDamage
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MacDonalds Cookies?

Given how long it takes for one of their burgers to decompose, one can only assume these cookies are also made by MacDonalds.

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BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

MrDamage
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Re: I've heard of something like this before...

Perhaps from this song?

Michael Rennie was ill

The Day the Earth Stood Still

But he told us where we stand

And Flash Gordon was there

In silver underwear

Claude Rains was The Invisible Man

Then something went wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong

They got caught in a celluloid jam

Then at a deadly pace

It Came From Outer Space

And this is how the message ran...

Science fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Doctor X (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See androids fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in (ooh ooh ooh) Forbidden Planet

Wo oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night, double feature, picture show

I knew Leo G. Carroll

Was over a barrel

When Tarantula took to the hills

And I really got hot

When I saw Janette Scott

Fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills

Dana Andrews said prunes

Gave him the runes

And passing them used lots of skills

But When Worlds Collide

Said George Pal to his bride

I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills

Like a...

Science fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Doctor X (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See androids fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in (ooh ooh ooh) Forbidden Planet

Wo oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night, double feature, picture show

I wanna go - Oh oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

By R.K.O. - Wo oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

In the back row - Oh oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

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MrDamage
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>>"So where are they????"

>Behind you!

But everyone knows you can't take panto comets seriously.

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Obama turns back on spooks: 'I'm on the side of strong encryption'

MrDamage
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Yeah, he's all for strong encrytion.

Just like he was all for closing Gitmo, and we all know how quickly that place was shut down.

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Google MENACED by Russian probe over 'abuse of dominance' gripe

MrDamage
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Whats next?

Russians complaining that you need to have Windows Updater Service installed in order to use Windows Update?

You need to have iTunes installed to use....erm...iTunes?

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Watch a hot, speeding space alien explode all over Earth's Beaver

MrDamage
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Headmaster

Causeing?

Spell checker on the blink?

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Samsung's spying smart TVs don't encrypt voice recordings sent over the internet – new claim

MrDamage
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Re: If you want to mess with them

Or, just say "Hi TV" before opening up their own Youtube app, and starting one of the many anti-samsung rant clips.

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Australia's PM says data retention laws think of the children

MrDamage
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Re: Germany

Or it could be because the germans prefer their adult entertainment to involve fists, feet, and bodily secretions, instead of children.

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MrDamage
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Re: BS

Funny how that goes, isn't it.

When Labor were in power, not only did the LNP oppose it, but Brandis also had very specific knowledge on what "metadata" contains.

Now that the LNP are in power, not only are they gunning for metadata retention, but Brandis appears to have not only lost his notes, but completely forgotten his interviews with media outlets where he described metadata in detail.

Add to this that Labor are now for it "in principle", but expect the LNP to describe exactly what is required before they agree to it.

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

MrDamage
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Re: Useless

Can't fly? Really?

Scientists have agreed for many yewars, that just because they move through a different medium, it does not mean they do not fly.

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Australian government's 'cyber-security' review delayed

MrDamage
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Re: Fucking Hypocrite

If he seriously wants to get the kids out of detention, maybe he should stop putting them in there as well.

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MrDamage
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Fucking Hypocrite

He likes to claim that he's stopped the boats, so if that's the case, there will be no immigrants-turned-terrorists.

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Boffins now one step closer to male birth control pill

MrDamage
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Joke

Nothing new...

I've had a male birth control pill for years. I take it the morning after, and it changes my blood type.

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TITANIC: Nuclear SUBMARINE cruising 'Sea of KRAKENS' may be FOUND ON icy MOON

MrDamage
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Aerodynamic Subs

"The proposed solution is to pack the submarine into a vehicle like the X-37 autonomous space plane which would make a water landing, open its cargo bay and then sink, leaving the submarine to go about its business."

The proposed solution is to pack the submarine into a pod, which is then incorporated into a vehicle like Thunderbird 2 which would hover over the ocean, drop its pod and then return to orbit as relay and monitoring station, leaving Thunderbird 4 to go about its business.

FTFY

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Hacker kicks one bit XP to 10 Windows scroll goal

MrDamage
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WTF?

Backwards compatibility

If only Windows offered the same level of backwards compatibility for programs, as it seems to do with exploits.

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CAR? Check. DRIVER? Nope. OK, let's go, says British govt

MrDamage
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Re: Or those who indicate right at a roundabout and then go straight on.

Unfortunately, thats the actual law in NSW thesedays. Right blinker on even if you are planning to go straight ahead, AND left blinker to then indicate you are taking that exit.

Fucking daft if you ask me.

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Back seat drivers fear lead-footed autonomous cars, say boffins

MrDamage
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Re: cough

And exactly how many bosses would pay the overtime relating to said increased productivity?

They don't pay for your travel time now, and will not be likely to do so in the future.

Lets face it, people will end up using autonomous cars as an excuse to stay up a bit later, so they can have a snooze on the way in to work the next day.

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NASA plots methane-detecting laser in SPAAACE

MrDamage
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Re: Politics

Of course it will be mothballed. Given the amount of bullshit emenating from places of government, do you think they want the peons to know they are one of the biggest contributors to grennhouse gasses?

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Official: Single people need to LOWER their EXPECTATIONS

MrDamage
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Higher standards than me.

Female, 2 legs, pulse optional.

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Calling a friend? Listen to an advert. You lucky, lucky thing

MrDamage
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Off grid

With more and more intrusive snooping powers being demanded by the various "intelligence" organisations, incessant adverts on all forms of media, telemarketers who ignore "Do not call" lists and legislation, and now the potential to suffer through adverts after already paying a company for its services, I cannot think of any reason to remain on the grid.

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They've finally solved it: Schrödinger's cat is both ALIVE AND DEAD

MrDamage
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Re: Bloody furious

Only if aformentioned cat is Greebo.

Although anyone attempting to put Greebo into a box should be clad in nothing less than a Sherman Tank.

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Hey kids! If you vote Facebook will give you EXTRA LIKES*

MrDamage
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Trollface

Teach the bastards a lesson

Now would be the perfect time for a well organised farcebook campaign. Get as many kids as possible to vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party just for shits and giggles.

Lets face it, they couldn't do any worse than the current mob.

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Australia's (current) PM Tony Abbott again calls for metadata trove laws to pass, ASAP

MrDamage
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Critical?

If metadata is so critical to investigations, then they can get a warrant to have the ISP's/Telco's retain said metadata once a person comes under suspicion of a crime. No different to how they require a warrant to search someone's home, or workplace.

You do not hoover up the metadata for everyone.

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DARPA: We KNOW WHO YOU ARE... by the WAY you MOVE your MOUSE

MrDamage
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Coffee

Wouldn't a users caffeine level affect how the mouse moves? Had little sleep? Got an extra shot in your espresso? Sorry, you can't work today due to the jitters.

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Samsung gets KINKY with new Galaxy in 50 SHADES OF GREY

MrDamage
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Pre-bent

To avoid all of the woes that inflicted iTards and LuGheads.

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Tearful boffins confirm grav wave tsunami NOT caused by Big Bang

MrDamage
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Phantom Particle

Does this particle of yours wear purple longjohns, ride a white horse, and have a pet wolf by any chance?

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Microsoft 'showers gold' on anti-Google Cyanogen and its Android alternative

MrDamage
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Re: ow!

May I expand on your comment?

Cyanogen + MS Financial Backing = Good

Cyanogen run by MS = Bad

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Linux chaps want to recycle your mobe as a supercomputer

MrDamage
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Re: What an amazing idea...

If you dont believe that more of something is automatically better, what system, may I ask, did you write that reply on?

Was it a system with a multi-core CPU? Did it have more than 1gb of RAM? More than 1GB of hard drive space? Did it, perchance, have a multi-monitor display?

The stupid analogy is yours, good sir.

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MrDamage
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Re: What an amazing idea...

You mean its pointless like how car manufacturers realised that instead of using a single cylinder, they could cluster them in a V, W, straight, or horizontally opposed configuration, and get far more life and performance out of said cluster, than they could from the single piston?

We need a car analogy icon.

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