* Posts by MrDamage

558 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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Metadata laws pass so it's time to STOP READING LISTICLES

MrDamage
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Additional Legislation required.*

We already have had Turnbal and a few other ministers come out and proclaim their love of apps which create absolutely no meta-data. What we need is for more legislation enacted that bans public officials from using any forms of communications that cannot be traced or tracked, in the name of transperancy.

This will aid in the fight against corruption performed by our officials, as they will not be able to hide their shadey dealings behind these apps. As they like to say to us, if they have nothing to hide, they have nothing to fear.

But we all know this will never happen. We peons aren't meant to be able to hold our officials accountable for anything.

Perhaps it's time to organise a grassroots movement, whereby out of work, or part time workers volunteer their efforts in physically following these people as they move about town. Public officials, in a public space, have absolutely no right to privacy.

*This is not to say I'm in favour of the metadata trawling in the first place. Only if theyre going to do it to us, then they better be prepared to be held to the same standards.

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HUGE Aussie asteroid impact sent TREMORS towards the EARTH'S CORE

MrDamage
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Broke into 2 pieces?

Nah. More likely it bounced off one of our bloody huge spiders and landed a second time.

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IS 'hackers' urge US-based jihadis: 'Wipe yourselves out trying to kill 0.00005 of US forces'

MrDamage
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Clarification Please

> "The bastards are in this for the long game and the sooner we realise that and stop them the better."

Are we still talking about the terrorists here, or the politicians eroding our rights to freedom of thought, speech, association, and movement?

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Taylor Swift snaps up EVEN MORE pr0n domain names

MrDamage
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Coat

Sacking?

Is that some new form of teabagging, where the "victim" willingly opens their mouth?

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MrDamage
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Taylor Swallows

African or European?

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Scientists splice mammoth genes into unsuspecting elephant

MrDamage
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I am Vulgaris Magistralis

Saddle up!

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Apple Watch is like an invasive weed says Gartner

MrDamage
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Enquiring minds want to know....

Is your money crisp, fresh, and smell faintly of lavender when you remove it from a sapient pearwood wallet?

And more to the point, does it eat wannabee muggers like Luggage would?

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Cisco posts kit to empty houses to dodge NSA chop shops

MrDamage
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Trey Parker and Matt Stone had it right

You mean, the only people in the US with any common sense and intelligence are 4th graders?

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PIRATES and THIEVES to get Windows 10 as BOOTY

MrDamage
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"It is free for the _supported_ lifetime of the device"

They better make sure they fully define "supported lifetime" in their EULA, otherwise they'll be in deep shit.

I'm still supporting a 386, and 486, for those fun old games which work better under native DOS/Win9x environments, than they do under DosBox and VM environments.

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Apple's portable power podule patent promises paroxysms of fanboi joy

MrDamage
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5mm Thicker?

We can't have that. All of the dickheads hipsters in their younger sisters skinny jeans would break down in tears at having a visible panty phone line.

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Snowden tells tech bigwigs: It's up to you to thwart mass surveillance

MrDamage
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FTFY

"All of us, you and me here tonight, are more at risk from terrorism and cyber-attack. And why? Mainly because technology companies has [sic] scaled back their previous quiet co-operation with intelligence agencies meddled in the domestic afffairs of foreign powers, supporting insurgents with whom we wished to negotiate favourable trade deals for oil and other resources, who then turn the very weapons and tactics we provided against us when we tried to meddle even more into their domestic affairs."

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Forget viruses: Evil USB drive 'fries laptops with a power surge'

MrDamage
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Re: BOFH Potential?

Not really.

I would think it's adding some more fun into the equation. Nothing quite like lulling the user into a false sense of security, thinking the weilder of the dreaded cattle prod is across the road in the pub, when suddenly.....FZZZZZZZZT!

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MrDamage
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BOFH Potential?

Instead of frying the USB circuitry, perhaps it could be modified to fry the user as they attempt to unplug the device.

Simon and the PFY would have some fun with these no doubt. Introducing a whole new generation of users to the thrilling kiss of the cattleprod, without even having to be in the same room.

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NSW premier pitches 'digital licence' as election stunt

MrDamage
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Wonder how the cops will react

When I hand them 2 tin cans connected by string, with a low quality sketch of what is supposed to be me on the side of it?

Seriously though, I'm curious about the permissions the app will ask for. I'm willing to bet my left nut on it demanding both coarse and fine location services. Betcha they pull some shite out of their arses like "It's so those who go into areas with an accident/police operation can be forwarned of delays".

Liuttle good that does when I'm not even allowed to glance in the general direction of my phone while driving.

Clueless twats.

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RIP Sir Terry Pratchett: Discworld author finally gets to meet DEATH

MrDamage
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I heard rumours

That Rhianna was going to take over the reins of Discworld. She is a fun storyteller in her own right, and anyone who has played Overlord, and Overlord 2, should be more than familiar with her sense of humour being a chip off the old block.

Farewell, Sir Pterry. Your books could lighten the darkest, dreariest day, and brought smiles to millions worldwide. You will be missed greatly.

:(

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Dream job: Sysadmin/F1 pit crew member with Red Bull racing

MrDamage
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Joke

Let's See

Willing to work in a high stress environment setting up and maintaining a huge fleet of kit?

Check.

Willing to work with a horde of devices, and the people who use them known to sometimes be more fragile than the kit itself?

Check

Willing to undergo a grueling fitness regime to be able to cope with the physical exertion of being rear jack operator?

Check.

Willing to work with AT&T to maintain connectivity?

Sorry, that's a deal breaker. My sanity is tenuous enough as it is.

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Mattel urged to scrap Wi-Fi mic Barbie after Register investigation

MrDamage
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Re: Reducing development costs

From a technical standpoint, it does have one advantage over the controlled and guided situations.

That is that voice recognition will get better at recognising particular accents, abbreviations, rambles, and other things we tend to say day-to-day, but would be less likely to say in a lab environment.

It would mean an end to things like;

Me: Siri, where can I buy a roll of linoleum?

Siri: I'm sorry, did you want to buy a roman, and only one?*

*Apologies to Billy Connolly for stealing one of his older gags.

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Ban Minecraft? That's jive, Turkey!

MrDamage
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What part of Turkey did I miss in the title?

What part of world news have you not been watching that has been recounting Turkey's slow slide back into fundamentalist islam, as lead by Erdogan?

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MrDamage
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Huh?

If they are truly worried about something promoting children to be violent towards others, perhaps the regime should back away from its fundamentalist islamic stance.

You know, the same stance that promotes the destruction of Israel, death to jews, christians, unbelievers, apostates, atheists, woman who show their ankles in public etc etc etc.

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Tastier Lollipops for chosen few as Google releases Android 5.1

MrDamage
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WTF?

Device Protection

You need to sign up with the data-slupring candy factory, in order to protect your data from miscreants.

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Teen sex pic swap shop SnapChat seeks Saudi cash to keep selfies flowing

MrDamage
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Re: Love snapchat..

It'll be fine. We all know how sexy burlap sacks are.

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BACK OFF, spooks: UK legal hacking code should be 'resisted at all costs' says lawyer

MrDamage
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Re: The Picture

> I thought it was Agent 66 from Get Smart.

>> Agent 86. Maxwell Smart Excuse me gotta go.

He missed it by -> <- that much.

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

MrDamage
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Re: Unfortunately

I made a typo, and didn't catch it until you mentioned it.

It should be "aren't".

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MrDamage
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Unfortunately

It's the iTards who are basically responsible for creating the anti-apple brigade.

When logical thinkers actually look past the marketing hype (magical?), and then look into the patents (rounded corners, swipe to unlock), and comment on how Apple are as innovative as they claim to be, the iTards come out in force to attack the commentor and try to shout them down for not mindlessly worshipping at the sphincter of Jobs.

So the more you attacked us for daring to think for ourselves, the more we fought back, until it got to the point where we thought "bugger always defending, lets mock and ridicule each new product from the outset". This of course started to hurt your precious iFeelings because you were now being treated with the same level of respect as you showed towards others.

You reap what you iSow. iNow iSod iOff iAnd iStop iWhinging.

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US watchdog: Anthem snubbed our security audits before and after enormous hack attack

MrDamage
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Re: Easy peasy!

Not to mention the govt can also demand a refund for all the payments made from the time that the initial audit was offered, up until they agree to the audit.

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Turnbull says no need to future-proof NBN

MrDamage
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As smart as Turdball is...

I believe the irony of his statements was lost on him.

>> "We must never approach problems in a rigid, ideological way harking back to the past."

Tell me Malcolm, did you hear a "whooshing" sound overhead as you uttered those words?

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

MrDamage
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Re: Citation provided.

Yes, I'm Brian. And so is my wife.

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MrDamage
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Joke

Citation provided.

If the phone is on vibrate, goes off and gives your gristle a tingle, just glancing in the general direction of a body-builders girlfriend with the resulting lump in the trouser department, has been known to be hazardous to your health.

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MrDamage
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Re: Shock news!

Don't worry. The lowly paid intern responsible for churning out the canned statements will be summarily defenestrated for their trangression.

Apple will be back to their SOP of ignoring all El Reg requests for comment in no time.

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Botched NBN installs leave folks with no internet, or recourse

MrDamage
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Re: I've dealt with the TIO before.

I've dealt with them to, with a satisfactory outcome.

My complaints about Vodfone's constant network failures, was met by Vodafone telling me my phone at the time (HTC Desire Z) was incompatible with their network. Fair enough, except one slight problem, they sold me the phone, it was branded with their ROM (when I bought it at least, and was flashed back to it during the complaints to ensure they couldn't claim any BS), and still under warranty.

Vodafone offerd to "upgrade" me to all sorts of other phones, none of which had the features I required, which was Android OS and a physical QWERTY keyboard.

Got in contact with the TIO, told them the problem, and what I expected (either another android based qwerty phone, or immediate release from the contract without termination fees), and they basically poked Vodafone with a pointy stick until I got released from my contract.

Consequently took my phone to Telstra, and had no such network issues until they finally started converting the 3G frequencies over to 4G, and finally killed off GSM.

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Optus joins iiNet with free-to-download Netflix offer for Australians

MrDamage
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Telstra/Foxtel

I don't see why Telstra shouldn't, given how Foxtel are touting the idea tat they too will become an ISP, it stands to reason that if they start muscling in on Telstra's territory, then Telstra should have no qualms about offering services which muscle in on Foxtel's.

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Reg exec in deluxe roo-skin pen case beernami trauma

MrDamage
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FTFY

You you take your fav luxury leather case, you fill it with all your most essential tinnies, and thereafter put a laptop, phone and headphones in there with them. What could possibly go wrong?

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Belgium will drag Facebook to court if it has to – privacy minister

MrDamage
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Just because it's optional,

It does not give them the right to break laws wherever or whenever they like.

Say. for example, you decided to sign up to "Damage Inc Social Network", and buried deep within the T&C's of the site, I reserved the right to come around to your house and give you a liberal dose of prison sex while you slept. Now, just because you did a click-through of the T&C's and didn't actually read it, it does not mean I actually have the legal right to break into your house and sodomise you roughly whilst you sleep.

If the region in which you live/login from allows such activities, then all well and good for me, but not so good for you.

If where you live would consider my actions to be breaking and entering (both of your house, and your sphincter), then I deserve to be punished for my transgressions.

Furthermore, any changes to the privacy policies should be made aware to the end user prior to the rollover date, so they have the opportunity to delete all of their content and stop using the service. The fact these things are pushed through without warning, often with the blurb "continued use of this service indicates acceptance of the changes", means people are given no choice but to "agree" if they want to be able to either delete, or backup, the data they have stored.

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Apple Pay a haven for 'rampant' credit card fraud, say experts

MrDamage
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Apple deserves it share of the blame

In the past, they have not been afraid to dictate to both users and companies alike, exactly how they are to do business with Apple.

If Apple release this form of payment method, without demanding a high threshold of identification and verification parameters to be able to use this service, they they are just as much to blame as the banks.

And yes, I would say the exact same thing about google wallet if they allow such lax measures to be used for verification.

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SpaceX lofts two all-electric ion-drive comsats to Clarke orbit

MrDamage
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Curious

The EU (French) mob are deploying theirs over the Americas, and the American (Carribean) based mob are planting theirs over Europe.

<tinfoil hat>Something arranged by the NSA/GHCQ as part of their information sharing regime no doubt. </tinfoil hat>

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Twitter probes terror threat: Medieval murder mob ISIS allegedly puts co-founder in crosshairs

MrDamage
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Don't make a martyr

As that is exactly how his flunkies will view him once he is taken out "by the forces of the great satan".

Kidnap, load up with liberal amounts of Ecstasy, poppers, and have him pictured cavorting with loads of nubile and naked young men. Starve him, and then film him chowing down on plenty of pork produce to satisfy his hunger.

Discredit and destroy. It will be more effective than just killing him.

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Turnbull's model e-gov service is HIPSTER SHAMBLES

MrDamage
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FTFY

Australia's online government services effort will likely repeat some is a stupid and costly mistakes.

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W*nkers of the world unite to SAVE THE PLANET one jerk-off at a time

MrDamage
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Dilemma

Do I buy 2 of these devices, or do I just stop changing hands every 100 strokes?

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

MrDamage
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El Reg unit of measurement

I vote for either the Kirsty, or the Oprah.

Given the widely fluctuating sizes of those 2, and some of the absolute shite that pours out of their mouths, I think they would be ideal for a fluctuating measurement of strangeness.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

MrDamage
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FTFY

But Morris said that the idea of starting with open source didn't last long in Redmond because Microsoft wanted to control its own code didn't want everyone in the OSS world to see just how shoddily MS write code.

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Bad dog! PrivDog chews HTTPS, hurls clear text

MrDamage
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Once a fan...

Of Comodo products, as I found their AV/Security suite to be one of the better free offerings, as well as their tightened versions of Firefox. Never installed PrivDog as I relied more on total ad blocking, with the various AdBlock offerings and forks.

Now, I'm looking at removing all of their products form my systems and going with something else.

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Zeus scumbag infects itself, buddies, with rival Trojan

MrDamage
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Re: OT but ...

Brisbane Lions' Michael Voss.

The particular maneuvoure whereby one catches the ball with their face, is commonly called "a falcon".

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Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

MrDamage
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Re: I applaud this research

What's the difference between pink and purple?

Whether its a natural or bionic hand gripping the tool.

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Amazon tries to patent 3D printers on trucks

MrDamage
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Re: How on Earth is this patentable?

Agreed. Having this patentable, is like having a patent on all those vans driving around dispensing soft-serve ice cream.

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Give us a week to GUT Superfish, begs Lenovo CTO

MrDamage
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Exploring a wide range of options..

That include "working directly with users, privacy/security experts and others to create the right preload strategy quickly"

Operating system, fully patched. Latest device drivers. Nothing else.

Its then up to the owner to put what THEY want on the PC.

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Australian ISPs agree to three-strikes-plus-court-order anti-piracy plan

MrDamage
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Re: Is it possible ...

Better still, how about spoofing the IP addresses of the lawyers representing Dallas Buyers Club LLC.

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Spacewalking NASA 'nauts hook up power and data cables to ISS Harmony module

MrDamage
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You think you 'ad it tough.

Back in my day, we 'ad to run 50 ohm coax ourselves, crawling through the ducts pulling the cabling wit' our teeth, breathin' in the asbestos insulation and positively relishing in the feel of fresh rat droppings squishing under our palms. An' when we completed our run, we 'ad to termite the cabling wit' our testicles.

Cat3 across the floor? Luxury!

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A cookie with a 7,984-year lifespan. Blimey, Roy Batty only got 4!

MrDamage
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MacDonalds Cookies?

Given how long it takes for one of their burgers to decompose, one can only assume these cookies are also made by MacDonalds.

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BLOOD STAR of the NEANDERTHALS passed close to our Sun

MrDamage
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Re: I've heard of something like this before...

Perhaps from this song?

Michael Rennie was ill

The Day the Earth Stood Still

But he told us where we stand

And Flash Gordon was there

In silver underwear

Claude Rains was The Invisible Man

Then something went wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong

They got caught in a celluloid jam

Then at a deadly pace

It Came From Outer Space

And this is how the message ran...

Science fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Doctor X (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See androids fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in (ooh ooh ooh) Forbidden Planet

Wo oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night, double feature, picture show

I knew Leo G. Carroll

Was over a barrel

When Tarantula took to the hills

And I really got hot

When I saw Janette Scott

Fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills

Dana Andrews said prunes

Gave him the runes

And passing them used lots of skills

But When Worlds Collide

Said George Pal to his bride

I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills

Like a...

Science fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Doctor X (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See androids fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in (ooh ooh ooh) Forbidden Planet

Wo oh oh oh oh oh

At the late night, double feature, picture show

I wanna go - Oh oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

By R.K.O. - Wo oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

In the back row - Oh oh oh oh

To the late night, double feature, picture show

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MrDamage
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>>"So where are they????"

>Behind you!

But everyone knows you can't take panto comets seriously.

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