* Posts by MrDamage

605 posts • joined 25 Feb 2011

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US judge lobs antivirus patents back to Hell

MrDamage
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Court Costs

"In a Thursday court filing [PDF], Intellectual Ventures agreed to abandon its legal action against Trend, though the two sides were at odds over how their court costs should be split."

Intellectual Vultures should have to pay Trend's legal fees due to the patent being ruled invalid.

IV can then sue the USPTO for reimbursement rubber stamping the crap patent without actually examining it in the first place.

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Looking for laxatives, miss? Shoppers stalked via smartphone Wi-Fi

MrDamage
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Erm, what?

"and the number of people walking past a storefront without entering."

So let me get this straight. You have to go into a store that you have no intention of visiting, in order to find out they are using privacy snooping tracking system, so you can then spend ages trying to find a way to opt out of it on one of their hidden web pages?

Nuke the twunts from orbit.

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SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir found BUBBLING under Yellowstone

MrDamage
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Re: Time to develop a good exit strategy

"..how about a bunch of virgins waiting for you."

You mean like this?

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LenovOUCH expands bits-blistering bodgy battery boomerang

MrDamage
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Re: Lenoneveragain

> Lithium-ion and Lithium polymer batteries are pretty fucking dangerous, and when they get damaged or otherwise explode, they can spew flames and burning liquid metal everywhere.

And yet the TSA will give us a free colonoscopy over a bottle of water

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Microsoft: Profit DECIMATED because you people aren't buying PCs

MrDamage
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Re: Be patient, it's coming!

> UEFI secureboot = better security

Only if you run NSA approved operating systems. Doesnt like it when you want to dual boot into an OS tat you have complete control over.

> Windows 10 - its great, try out the tech preview

You mean the one that has broken the Start menu? How great is that?

> Windows App store - Easier access to applications

I buy hard copies. I'm not interested in vaporware that can be revoked at any time, for any reason.

> Forced cloud - Umm no, there is nothing forced on the user whatsoever

Except it's enabled by default, and users who arent tech heads wont know where or how to disable it.

> Subscriptions - an option in addition to the traditional perpetual rights, use whatever suits you

Except given Microsoft's history, it weont stay an "option" for long, and will become a requirement.

> nice try but you are clearly talking out your backside

Says the guy who has been reamed so hard and often by MS, he can no longer tell when his own arse is speaking.

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Nobody should have to see their own rear, but that's what Turnbull's NBN will do to Australia

MrDamage
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Re: Title should read

No, too past. The arse is already leading the country, and unfortunately, clad in budgie smugglers.

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Facebook invents Caller ID ... say Hello to today's staggering technology

MrDamage
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Similar Feature

Yep. It's called "Don't give Facebook your bloody phone number".

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'Aaron's Law' back on the table to bring sanity to US hacking laws

MrDamage
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FTFY

Yeah I don't see this passing. Not in "tough on crimes commited by anyone not in government, or their related 3 letter agencies" America.

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VAMPIRE SQUID romps stun scientists: Unique sex lives revealed

MrDamage
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Re: I had to look twice...

You mean Jersey Shore didn't give you enough insight into the sex lives of slow, strange looking creatures who deprived the immediate environment of oxygen lived in a low oxygen environment?

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Ad-blocking is LEGAL: German court says Ja to browser filters

MrDamage
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Coat

Re: legal arguments?

> "Yeah, anyone know a good tech news site?"

Slashdot?*

This advert was brought to you by Dice, also the letters A, G and X, and the number 9.

Drink Slurm. Its addictive, gooey, and full of sugar. It HAS to be good for you.

<- Coat. Flameproof, bulletproof, but not Slurm-proof. That stuff is worse than an Alien's blood.

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Apple will cut down 36,000 acres of forest in 'conservation scheme'

MrDamage
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Re: Woodlands.

If that's true, why does the biggest capitalist country in the world have such a problem with prostitution?

Again, coat. I'm leaving this time. Promise.*

*Until someone else make a comment I can make a smart-arse remark about.

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MrDamage
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Re: Forestry != woodland

> "blame the Japanese for Apple's obsession with tight fitting boxes and the 'opening experience'."

Then perhaps the aforementioned "breathless fanboise" should stop watching all that hentai.

I'll get my coat. It's the one with the manga comics in the pocket with the pages stuck together.

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iPhone vs. Galaxy fight hospitalises two after beer bottle stabbing

MrDamage
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Re: article misses out the most important information...

> *"...who won?..."*

>> I think the Galaxy S6 fan just had the edge.

True. You can't stab anyone with rounded corners.

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'Hackers racked up $$$$s via the Android Play Store, and Google won't pay me back'

MrDamage
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Re: The real story

> But even if a client-side compromise, was it effected via an app from (approved by) Play Store?

Or it could have been one of the cheap-arse landfill phones made on the sly in China, pre-infected with data-stealing software to run on boot, instead of an actual "approved" app.

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BLAM! Valve slams brakes on Steam flimflam with $5 spam scram plan

MrDamage
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Thumb Down

WTF?

"Activating a retail game on Steam or inputting promo keys from hardware or graphic card vendors won't, for example, unlock access to the major functions that the service has to offer its legit users."

So people who actually want a physical copy of the game, instead of vaporware which can be taken off them at a moments notice, are basically shunned from the Steam community, like the lepers of old?

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

MrDamage
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Re: An Empty Box Cost Millions I bet

Here

you

go

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Microsoft set to penetrate Cyanogen, promises app-y ending

MrDamage
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Facepalm

WTF?

People tend to install Cyanogen in order to remove the bloated shite that comes preinstalled on the phones from Telcos/Manufacturers. Now MS want to have their bloated shiteware preinstalled on the option that people go for to get away from this behaviour?

Is it just me, or is 2 tin scan connected by string becoming a very attractive mobile communication option?

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Cram my freebies into Android phones and get a royalty discount, says Microsoft (allegedly)

MrDamage
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Meh

expandable storage Trans Flash

Now why does that sound like something that happens when you finally get the miniskirt off that :girl" you picked up in a Bangkok bar?

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Microsoft cramming free stuff into Galaxy S6es? Not so fast – US telcos

MrDamage
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As long as it can be removed

That's fine. But if it's more bloatware preinstalled on the phone that cannot be removed without rooting the phone and going for a 3rd party ROM, then fuck off.

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National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

MrDamage
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Re: No life?!

Where do you think the B Ark landed?

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Grandmaster FLUSH: Chess champ booted for allegedly cheating with iPod app in the loo

MrDamage
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Re: Apple Watch is next

> "we as humans have to admit that machines have won the AI wars"

Slightly incorrect. Thanks to marketting hype, and laziness, we as humans lost the "I" war.

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Fancy a wristjob from Tim Cook? TOUGH LUCK, you CAN'T HAVE ONE

MrDamage
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Re: $707 eh?

At least with the toilet, one touch of a button (ok, sometimes two, and maybe the use of a wire coathanger to break up the larger chunks), and the shit is gone.

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Rand Paul puts Hillary Clinton's hard drive on sale

MrDamage
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OK, you asked for it....

I would RLLy like to have seen the pic of Hillary in tight jeans and halter, but I fear she would be showing off her MFM top.

Besides, anyone stooping to using sex to sell a political message, would truly be a SCSI individual.

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Pregnant pause: Ancient JUMBO MARINE LIZARD pushed out sprogs in open ocean

MrDamage
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Headmaster

Re: The classic out...

You mean hypothesis.

A scientific theory is one which fits the evidence, has been peer reviewed, and is accepted by the majority of the scieitific peers as being the most plausible, and thus most likely to be true.

A hypothesis, on the other hand, is basically a scientists opinion based upon facts, findings, and musings, but has not yet been subjected to the peer review.

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Strange radio telescope signals came from microwave ovens

MrDamage
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Joke

FRB's

They're the end result of somebody trying to microwave a microwave.

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Videogame publishers to fans: Oi, freetard! STOP RESURRECTING our dead titles online

MrDamage
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Whoosh

The term you are looking for, is "clickbait".

You fell for it, clicked, then clicked again to post a rant about it, and then clicked a third time for submit.

It got you. Hook, line, and sinker.

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ISIS: You bomb us, we’ll interrupt your TV transmissions

MrDamage
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Use the lips, trotters and arseholes....

But what will the yanks use for hotdogs at the baseball games?

You know, those things they eat to get the rancid taste of what they dare call beer out of their mouths.

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Tasmania wants more backbone

MrDamage
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Trollface

Re: You'd think they would already have more backbone

Wow, 2 thumbs down. You would have thought at least one of the heads had a sense of humour.

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MrDamage
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Joke

You'd think they would already have more backbone

After all that inbreeding gave them two heads, they'd have at least some extra spinal column to hold it up.

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Marvell: We don't want to pay this $1.5bn patent bill because, cripes, it's way too much

MrDamage
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Re: Fair result

> 9 years of back licensing should be repaid over a 9 year period starting now.

Of course, that would also require 9 years worth of interest payments as well. So then they would be caught up in the never ending cycle of not getting around to paying off the debt, because they are too busy paying off the interest accrued on said debt.

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MrDamage
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Re: Blasphemy

A "true" christian would have just turned the other cheek, content in the "knowledge" that the author would be subject to buttock prods from Lucifer's putchfork for his blasphemy, and gone along his way.

Instead, you've wailed on about it being blasphemous, and forced others to bow down to your invisible sky daddy. Besides, when has your God, had anything to do with science or tech?

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Netflix fail proves copper NBN leaves Australia utterly 4Ked

MrDamage
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Coat

Re: High Bandwidth for Australia who wants that

> Olympics in Ultra High Definition - which Australian would want that...

That would depend on how many closeups they get of those nubile gymnasts bending over backwards in their tight leotards.

I'll get my coat. It's the stained one with the kleenex in the pockets.

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Longest running April Fools Prank

MrDamage
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Longest running April Fools Prank

Whats the longest running April Fools prank you have ever been involved with/victim of?

Our UK office decided the global cutover to SAP was going to be April 1st.

One week later, we're still being pranked. It didnt work on cutover date. It still doesnt work. Our old system have been set into read only mode, so everyone is just sitting around, twiddling their thumbs.

The highlight of our day is actually getting yelled at by our customers for not actually shipping goods/repairs, or our suppliers for not being able to pay them. At least them it makes us feel like we're doing something, even if that something is just apologising profusely.

I'm surprised Jim Henson's estate hasn't sued us yet, given how this company seems to be a blatent ripoff of the muppet show. I'm even more surprised I still have enough coherence to type this, as I've head-desked enough times over the last week to give myself serious brain damage.

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THOUSANDS of alleged pirates' addresses to be handed to Dallas Buyers Club

MrDamage
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Re: Dallas Buyers Club

I would have framed it another way to point out the delicious irony of the case.

The movie, about a guy who bucks the system, in order to address an inadequacy inherant in the system.

Now, why does the plotline sound so familiar? Maybe it has something to do with home users, bucking the system, to address the inherant inadequacy of the system.

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MrDamage
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Give them a break....

Wasn't watching that movie punishment enough?

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Feds ponder jamming journo comms in Australian Parliament

MrDamage
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Re: Any chance...

I'm assuming you are referring to the politicians, and not the journo's themselves.

Once they do that, we can get the journo's to broadcast a fake gas attack story, hoping the politicians will then seal up parliament house completely, thus saving oxygen for those who truly deserve it.

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Liberal MP threatens journo with metadata probe

MrDamage
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Suprise surprise

A twit, using tw@tter, to act like a twunt.

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Samsung's bend blame blast: We DEMAND a Galaxy S6 Edge do-over

MrDamage
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Headmaster

Standard Units

Newtons is not the SI we use around here, good sir.

The SI for force, on these pages, is measured in Norris's.

In this instance, it requires 2.942 Norris's of force to bend the S6.

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Sony to PlayStation 4 gamer: 'You got hacked, not our fault. Now give us £50'

MrDamage
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Re: Legality?

Agreed. 2 factor authentication should be required when any transaction involving stored CC details, or changes to the account details. You would have thought that after all of their security blunders and hacks of late, they would have learnt something about basic security.

Instead, they insist on using outdated practices, all the while shouting "We're right, you're wrong!"

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Streak life: Oz woman flashes boobs at Google Street View car

MrDamage
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Facepalm

What do you expect?

South Australia, and Adelaide in particular, was founded by religious nutjobs who were determined to build a city and state without the use of convict labour. Hence why the proportion of churches to pubs is opposite to that of the rest of the country.

Facepalm icon, cos we don't have a motorboating one available.

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Google cracks down on browser ad injectors after shocking study

MrDamage
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Re: Well of course...

According to the Google Dictionary;

Ethical Manner: Ensures all income derived from ads goes into Google's wallet, and not someone elses.

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Nuclear waste spill: How a pro-organic push sparked $240m blunder

MrDamage
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@Peter G

The genre contains 2 words. The first is science. The second is FICTION.

If you cannot understand that, I suggest you go sit at Gene Roddenberry's grave, break out your ouiji board, and explain to him how he was wrong as well.

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Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

MrDamage
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@Mystic Megabyte

I prefer Ly Tin Weedle's approach.

The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can’t have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles - kingons, or possibly queons - that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expounded because, at that point, the bar closed.

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MrDamage
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Coat

Gay Deceiver.

I've heard of The Flying Nun, but I don't think I've heard of a flying catholic priest.

I'll get my coat....

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Bloke faces 25 years in the cooler for upsetting Thai king on Facebook

MrDamage
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Step foot in Thailand

What size stick would you need to scrape it off the bottom of your shoe?

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Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

MrDamage
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Encryption is not the problem.

When we have governments, and their agencies, treating everyone as criminals, then we have a problem with the government.

Do not blame the tech firms for listening to their customers desire to not be treated as criminals.

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UN inflicts 10,000 flat pack IKEA shelters on Iraq - WITHOUT TOOLS

MrDamage
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Joke

And with the leftover pieces

They can make a nice 4 story apartment block.

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Metadata laws pass so it's time to STOP READING LISTICLES

MrDamage
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Additional Legislation required.*

We already have had Turnbal and a few other ministers come out and proclaim their love of apps which create absolutely no meta-data. What we need is for more legislation enacted that bans public officials from using any forms of communications that cannot be traced or tracked, in the name of transperancy.

This will aid in the fight against corruption performed by our officials, as they will not be able to hide their shadey dealings behind these apps. As they like to say to us, if they have nothing to hide, they have nothing to fear.

But we all know this will never happen. We peons aren't meant to be able to hold our officials accountable for anything.

Perhaps it's time to organise a grassroots movement, whereby out of work, or part time workers volunteer their efforts in physically following these people as they move about town. Public officials, in a public space, have absolutely no right to privacy.

*This is not to say I'm in favour of the metadata trawling in the first place. Only if theyre going to do it to us, then they better be prepared to be held to the same standards.

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HUGE Aussie asteroid impact sent TREMORS towards the EARTH'S CORE

MrDamage
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Broke into 2 pieces?

Nah. More likely it bounced off one of our bloody huge spiders and landed a second time.

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IS 'hackers' urge US-based jihadis: 'Wipe yourselves out trying to kill 0.00005 of US forces'

MrDamage
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Clarification Please

> "The bastards are in this for the long game and the sooner we realise that and stop them the better."

Are we still talking about the terrorists here, or the politicians eroding our rights to freedom of thought, speech, association, and movement?

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