* Posts by JK

44 posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

Assange™ says Guardian claims 'completely fabricated'

JK
FAIL

And a dog farts in the woods...

While this is not surprising, I wonder why we should give any weight to what this ego-maniac says anymore. Or care, for the matter.

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1

Double-clicking patent takes on world

JK
Black Helicopters

Can't software vendors...

Just boycott texas? I mean, if they state clearly in their software EULA that their software cannot be used within the jurisdiction of Texas, bla bla bla, then they can't be sued there, no?

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Arab conned into marrying bearded lady

JK
Grenade

Re: En Francais

To be sure though, you should try walking into the bank wearing a balaclava or niqab O:)

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Multitaskers: suckers for irrelevancy, easily distracted

JK
Thumb Up

FINALLY!

AT LAST, I AM VINDICATED! MY INABILITY TO MULTITASK IS FINALLY AN ASSET!!

Ha ha, suck it, multitaskers.

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Texan judge outlaws Word

JK
Grenade

GL to Microsoft

Hopefully this ridiculous decision can be overturned. As others have pointed out, it'll be a blow to anything that uses XML for documents that have text in them.

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Google Voice invites callers

JK
Unhappy

@Rafael

Yes... yes we do. :(

And its somewhat prevalent in Canada too.

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US calls for China to revoke censorware plan

JK
Paris Hilton

Do they really need to...

... do this?

I mean... it's not exactly like their current methods are causing epic fail. So why "fix" something that isn't broken?

Currently, whatever they're doing manages to uh... "quiet" most "inharmonious content" and their creators... while still allowing a negligible amount to seep out. And... it's not like they were the ones whom were on the brink of a popular uprising over their government policies.

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Pirate Bay judge cleared of bias by Swedish appeal court

JK
FAIL

So...

While I don't think I can support the pirate bay...

... if the judicial system is supposed to be taken seriously, then they have to stop pulling stuff like this.

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Microsoft: 18-month Windows 7 downgrade rights

JK
Paris Hilton

So...

... why do we have to upgrade to Windows 7 from Windows XP Professional (which doesn't expire...) -- so that we can downgrade from Windows 7 to Windows XP Professional for 18 months?

It could be that it's late, and I've been out of the loop, but it looks like this is only something of interest for people who buy new machines with Windows 7 on it?

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US lawmakers to de-silence electric cars

JK
Unhappy

@additional hilarity

er... my mistake. Sorry, got Kerry mixed with Gore. So, no, I guess Kerry was never a champion for green.

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JK
Flame

retarded

People aren't supposed to blindly cross the road in the first place (ha ha, pun), they're supposed to wait at cross walks and then cross. And what do the blind do, cross the road until they hear a noise, then decide whether to turn around or keep going? I mean, it sounds like the only reasonable legislation would require people put on those macho-man sports mufflers on every car, so that you could hear a vehicle a few blocks down, thus buying your disabled, hobbling, blind grandmother enough time to cross the road. Instead of getting a fucking guide dog.

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JK
Joke

additional hilarity

... being that this comes from John Kerry. So much for your champion of the environment.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d111:s.00841:

That, and the fact that he's affiliated with a carbon credit corporation. Ha ha ha.

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Indian court urged to 'ban Google Earth'

JK
Stop

Stating the obvious...

... namely, that it's pretty stupid.

And if they were really trained in Pakistan, then they'd just use Pakistani ISPs to access Google Earth.

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Company sues Facebook over somethingorother

JK
Paris Hilton

Can someone enlighten me as to what...

Can someone enlighten me as to what "a common workflow layer that is automated with a scalable, relational database. The tool includes a relational database engine that facilitates many-to-many relationships among data elements, in addition to, one-to-many and many-to-many relationships" actually means?

Because, the way I'm reading it, they should be suing Oracle, PostgreSQL, MySQL, and so on... not Facebook?

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Winning contestant dies during competitive eating event

JK

Darwin award?

Is he eligible?

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Book about D-Notices gets D-Notice slapped on it

JK
Happy

Why not publish the unedited version abroad? :)

I mean, I'm sure that us Reg readers across the pond wouldn't mind reading all about the MoD. I don't think spilling MoD secrets counts as a crime in the states. And arguably the market is bigger too. I'm sure there's a way to put a flag on Amazon so that UK customers would be unable to purchase the book, while everyone else could. :)

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Feds search Palin hack suspect's flat

JK
Alert

RE: Pah. Lotsa morons here lately

They only investigate "important" crimes, e.g., those pertaining to "important" people.

@Paulette Charbonnet:

Please GTFO out of my country.

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Anonymous hacks Sarah Palin's Yahoo! account

JK
Paris Hilton

@Erik Aamot

What kind of name is 'Erik Aamot' anyways? Are you even American? And we're letting you vote? I bet you're some kind of dirty immigrant.

Paris, because she's smarter than you and Palin. And would probably make a better president than McCain anyways.

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FoxNews commentator Bill O'Reilly's website hacked

JK
Happy

RE: It just couldn't hapen to a nicer guy.

So true.

And, these [happy people] aren't innocent. They're the [happy people] who supported the last [happy person] for the past 8 years, and the incoming next 4. [Happy people].

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Why have Radiohead broken freetards' hearts?

JK
Thumb Up

Re: Right on

Agreed.

NIN was artless with what they were doing and I think it'll pay off in the long run as well. I dished out $5 for their album and I'm not even much of a fan -- but I certainly didn't regret it.

I just hope that they continue on with this method -- I think that more people will use this form of purchase as it becomes more well known, offsetting the 50/50 divide between freefuckers* who refuse to pay anything, and those who are willing to pay a fair fee for their music.

*Yes, I realize many of them probably are kids who do not have credit cards. Still, there is probably a good fraction of them who aren't kids and have the money, but still refuse. Fuckers.

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PETA offers $1m for test tube chicken

JK
Go

Re: People like her

Agreed!

Then natural selection can take over and we won't have PETA anymore! :D

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El Reg celebrates 10th birthday

JK
Thumb Up

More Cheers!

I'll drink to this!

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Pirate Bay offers uncensored, ad-backed blog hole

JK
Flame

Re: Freedom of speech my backside

Freedom of speech is EXACTLY the right to say whatever the fuck you want about anything and everything.

It doesn't mean that you're right, or that people have to like you for what you say.

It's not about being 'fair' or 'polite', it's about being able to say whatever the fuck you want and avoiding prosecution by the Thought Police.

I think this quote sums up my position on it:

"Freedom of speech is not a guideline or a suggestion. It is not the freedom to say things that don’t upset people—there’s no need for a constitutional amendment ensuring that. It is nothing less than the freedom to be arrogant, disrespectful assholes, or it isn’t anything at all."

( http://www.buffalobeast.com/93/LaughRiot.htm )

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Google to launch database service from Campfire

JK
Dead Vulture

Re: Yawn.

My thoughts exactly.

I don't even see a reason to use SimpleDB -- though if I *were* to use a foreign 3rd party db, I'd try Amazon first.

Down to the "Pretty good search engine, though." part :p

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IBM blackballed in US federal ambush

JK
Paris Hilton

Re: WTF

Indeed.

Seriously though, it's not like its just IBM losing -- so is the government, with inferior* products.

*imho, ofc.

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US allows visual inspections of nipple rings

JK
Flame

Bah

Real terrorists won't be caught that way. It's been demonstrated time and time again that this is just security theatre and it won't stop them. Frankly, the whole piercing thing is just retarded. What are they gonna do? Crack it open and check for a micro nerve agent in the tip? You know, something that a russian agent might be using?

Given that the TSA haven't even gone to college, I doubt that.

Why didn't the money just goto the local police, say, to better fund SWAT teams for anti-terrorist threats at airports, train stations, and so on? At least those guys understand the law, and can actually do something about threats.

PS: Fucking wikipedia. I didn't need to see that image. At work, even.

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Telco firm, Coke sponsor Filipino crucifixion festival

JK
Paris Hilton

Re: Promoting Darwinism

Well, see... I suppose it'd be OK if they did the crucifixion via nail to the forehead, or perhaps the crotch -- but they aren't. So it's hardly promoting Darwinism. :p

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JK
Stop

Pretty f'ed up.

Well, as the title says. That's pretty fucked up. The whole thing.

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FBI agents lured suspects using fake child porn hyperlinks

JK
Stop

Re: Brilliant

The travis case (the one with the open wifi) is suspect... and I hope there isn't handwaving done by the FBI to lock a possibly innocent man up for child porno charges, when it infact, could be one of his pervy neighbours who decided that it'd be smarter to dig for child porno on someone else's line.

The guy from Temple University looks absurdly guilty, with the attempt to destroy his harddrive and all that. (Think that clipping was from BBC)

Somehow I suspect the lot will be locked up using fallacious arguments for the wifi case. Whether or not it's true that all three of them were pedophiles is open to debate.

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JK
Thumb Up

Brilliant!

... while I find the defense of those who actually clicked links corresponding to titles like "4 year old girl does anal and oral!!" completely absurd....

I think it's completely brilliant that now we can send such links to our hat-- err loved friends and associates, say, disguised as "Hey, want free <object of interest>? This website is giving it away for the next few days."

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Australian man killed by suicide robot

JK
Black Helicopters

Re: ROTM

Indeed.

He should've opted for at least a .357/9mm -- or larger. I suspect that a double barrel shotgun would do the trick as well, but that depends on whether you want to leave your face intact or not.

I mean, if I were opting for a *painless* and quick way of going, I'd opt for point-blank at my cranium. :p

--

So why did he kill himself anyways? Must've been a damn good reason to go through all that trouble.

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Arthur C. Clarke dead at 90

JK
Unhappy

RIP :(

RIP, and thanks for all the fish. :(

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'Magnet boy' freezes Xbox

JK
Thumb Down

Everyone forgets...

1) The computers never crashed

2) Shouldn't the computers he used before be fried, not 'crashed' ?

3) The only symptoms of his amazing powers were that SHIFT was constantly stuck.

4) Plastic does not conduct electricity. Hence static should not affect the keyboard. Not unless you had enough static charge to say, take down an adult man, or something similar.

5) The computers are using custom software. What prevents someone from just tampering with that so that 'magical' powers are displayed?

Sorry, but this is just stupid. I love you El Reg, I do. But passing this off as anything more than complete BS is bad :(

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Terrorist robots dissected - anatomy of a scare

JK
Flame

@"60 Grand" and @"Poor, very poor"

1) A pistol, shotgun, or -- even better -- a SMG can dispatch any of these blatantly-obvious robotic hellspawns easily.

2) As previously stated, live usage of any of these robotic terror minions will result in a speedy, escorted, visit to Allah courtesy of the SAS.

3) Perhaps more importantly than any of the points ever made: Arming either:

a) A suicide bomber with grenades

b) Just a regular bomber who isn't going to blow themselves up

-- is far cheaper and more likely to work.

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JK
Thumb Up

Thank you.

Maybe now all those headlines about skynet wielding terrorist armies will simply STFU/GTFO.

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Apple sued over iPhone caller ID

JK
Flame

Just another great example...

... of how badly the US patent system is broken. Obvious idea, and apart from producing the actual physical device matching the picture, there would be no reason to patent that idea. Additionally, suing another company for making a completely different product with that same *very obvious* idea is just ridiculous.

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Watchdog sues US Justice Department over Google chatter

JK
Paris Hilton

First* post!

Kickbacks, perhaps? I mean, softening a subpoena and then being offered a high paying cushy job at what might become one of the most important corporations (arguably already...) on the internet... Microgoogle.

*First post, that I know of, that is. Apologies to the true first poster if I'm wrong.

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ICANN to throttle domain tasters

JK
Thumb Up

Lets see if Network Solutions registers these...

Well, in the meanwhile I decided to see if Network Solutions was still doing that game or not.

"Congratulations! The following domains are available:

champ-mitchell-is-a-domain-tasting-fag (.com, .net)

networksolutions-sucks-donkeydick (.com, .net)"

I guess we'll find out in the next few days!

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Megan's Law snafu fingered in rapist's murder

JK

Re: So they want Sarah's law?

"It is well known that innocent people get hurt by publishing untrue information [...]" -- I don't think the guy can be classified as remotely "innocent".

Like another Reg reader wrote, "It's hard to find any moral outrage in the death of a rapist."

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iPhone's visual voicemail ain't so new

JK
Paris Hilton

Skype too.

Skype has it too. What's the big deal? And there's about two top (paid) results from google that do the same thing when you search for "visual voicemail".

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Gutting of Amazon patent was helped by Amazon-owned company

JK
Thumb Up

Re: US patent law forbids ...

Agreed. It needs to be chucked. Along with most patents.

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Google, Yahoo! and Amazon sued over email patent

JK

So, let me get this straight...

So, let me get this straight... basically this is a patent on Artificial Intelligence communicating with anything? So for lone programmers or the casual group that isn't backed by lots of money, we'd be liable to be sued (in the patent-owner friendly, east district of Texas) for creating any sort of AI software, including say, a chat bot for IRC, or even -- Hey! Doesn't Asterisk PBX sometimes violate this patent too?

When will the madness stop? (Rhetorical, of course. It won't.)

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Light sabre on cargo manifest for next Shuttle mission

JK

Re: Let me get this straight

But wait, we're doing both...

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Amazon to buy NetFlix?

JK

Re: Ewwww!

Blockbuster Online isn't too bad, their suggestion system needs some work (i.e. suggesting movies you already have seen, or movies you already rated at rock bottom, aka. "I never want to see this piece of crap again") -- Personally, I uh... I've done worse to them regarding their late movies... but never gotten a phone call? Is it required to give them your #? Because I might've skipped on that or given them an alternative number....

That, and I never plan on using any DRM-laden piece of crap on-demand system.

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