* Posts by John Bailey

639 posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

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UH OH: Windows 10 will share your Wi-Fi key with your friends' friends

John Bailey
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Coffee/keyboard

If you can't be a good example..

And people say Microsoft don't care any more.

Here they are, demonstrating for all the world to see, at no doubt, great expense, exactly why one does not let the marketing people do product design.

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Microsoft releases free Office apps for half of all Android phones

John Bailey
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"... until they change the T&Cs... again"

Which one.. Google or Microsoft?

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Taylor Swift boycotts Apple Music over no-pay-for-plays shocker

John Bailey
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Re: Who is

The person who wrote Gulliver's trousers.

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Apple no-pay-for-plays streaming risks indie boycott

John Bailey
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Re: One of these days

And your list is in reverse chronological order I see.

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Japanese female fish in sperm-producing strangeness

John Bailey
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"I never knew that fish were so clever! I mean, I've got a friend who is a sexologist, and I've never heard her mention fish working in the field..."

Only in rice growing areas.. cos they need the water to breath in.

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'Snowden risked lives' fearfest story prompts sceptical sneers

John Bailey
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Re: Too late was the cry

"There are still people - the majority, by the way - who will tell you that Jean Charles de Menezes (RIP :( ) was

-wearing a heavy coat

-vaulted the barriers

-did not respond when challenged by armed police."

Oh noes.. they don't remember the fine details of the cover story.... THE HORROR!!!!! Why he died in vain then.

Now tell me this..

Do they remember that he was

Innocent of any wrong doing?

A case of mistaken identity?

A LEGAL immigrant?

Shot several times by trigger happy plod/intelligence agents with no ability to inform the officers of his actual identity?

You know.. the important stuff.

The fine details don't matter. If he was wearing a coat or a wedding dress and wellington boots, or if he responded to police challenges with the phrase " I have hard boiled egg up my bottom". Doesn;t matter.

Fact 1) An innocent man was shot dead.

Fact 2) Shooting him had he actually been a suicide bomber, would have potentially set off the bomb. Any fool can wire up a fail deadly switch. Hold it open, and no problem. Let it go, and boom. One NC switch. I got about 3-4 of em when I took apart an old inkjet for parts. Common everyday micro switches. Usually come with a normally closed, and normally open option in each switch.

Fact 3) The police proclaiming him a wrong un immediately after the incident lost them a lot of the little credibility they have left.

The coat does not matter.

Running does not matter.

Vaulting the barrier does not matter.

Someone claiming to have seen wires sticking out of his jacket do not matter.

Because NONE OF THESE THINGS was reason to shoot the guy.

Even not responding to a challenge from someone or other, had it happened, does not matter, because uniform are not very likely to be involved in covert tailing of a suspect are they? And the people who shot him were not the ones who were supposed to have challenged him.

So.. Brazilian electrician hurrying to work was shot dead for no reason.

This is the bit that they should remember.

Do they?

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Apple recalls Beats speakers: Rap chap's crap batt rapped in zap mishap flap

John Bailey
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Re: $325? Blimey!

"You dear sir, owe me another coffee."

Certainly. take it out of the fee to use my phrase.

"That is to be my new phrase and in the tradition of World 2.0, in return, you will receive no credit."

Seems a fair compensation.

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John Bailey
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Re: $325? Blimey!

"£270 here. It has all the functionality of devices less than half its price, seriously who buys Beats stuff?"

People who can only hear the logo.

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We caught Chinese technology spies RED-HANDED, claims US government

John Bailey
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One day they may realise that being on their high horse is not the same as having the high ground.

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Microsoft's Surface 3 is sweet – but I wouldn't tickle my nads with it

John Bailey
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Re: £419 (64GB, 2GB RAM), £499 (128GB, 4GB RAM) RRP

"While a £600 phone (or worse, a smartwatch) is worth the price?"

No sweetie.

Like many, you are unable to distinguish between worth and price.

Price is what the seller attaches to their goods. How much money they hope to get.

This has little or nothing to do with the cost to make the thing. And everything to do with the herds of fools who buy a thing based on brand status alone.

Value is what we, the buyers, attach to the goods. What we are willing to part with, to get the attributes promised.

If value is lower than price, a smart person rejects the goods.

If value is higher than price, the buyer accepts the goods.

An iPhone is not worth £600 to many many people, so they do not buy one.

An iWatch is not worth the £300+ it is being sold for, to many many many more. So they do not buy.

And a Surface 3 is not worth nearly £500 to a great many people, so they will laugh at the idea of spending that much on a crippled laptop,and an inadequate tablet. .

Worth is personal. It is the value we place on the stuff we acquire.

Paying £5 for a solder sucker is worth it if you have a few easy solder joints to remove now and then. And if it does the job.. great. Money well spent.

Paying £70 was worth it to me, to be able to remove more difficult parts safely and without damage. So I got a de-soldering gun. Now multi lead components just fall out. Stripped a whole board of LEDs from an old project in under 5 minutes on Saturday, without damaging the LEDs. Brilliant tool. WORTH every penny to me. Overkill to many, inadequate to many others.

Paying £300+ to do the same job, but faster is worth it to someone who is more time constrained, or not paying for their own tools. And that is fine too. But it is not worth that to me. Time is not important, and I am unlikely to be working on multi layer boards with big copper pours. So my cheap gun is fine.

All these tools do essentially the same thing. But to differing degrees, and with differing competence. Which is chosen depends on it's value to the buyer. Not a take it or leave it price.

Once you understand this concept, you will hopefully stop asking such damn fool questions.

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Jeb Bush: Repeal Obamacare and replace it with APPLE WATCHES

John Bailey
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"So in 5 years an Apple watch will be able to do brain transplants?"

Only the ones marked "For rectal use only".

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Next-gen Freeview telly won't be another disruptive 4Ker

John Bailey
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RE:Sky...

Chris Johns, chief engineer at Sky,...., opined during the day: “You can now buy a 1000 Nit Samsung TV on the high street, we have to come up with a horribly compressed, sub-standard method of delivery which we can sell as UHDTV and still get away with it"

You missed out "at a premium, with new boxes that still only kind of work.

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Amstrad founder Lord Sugar quits 'anti-enterprise' Labour party

John Bailey
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Re: Beam me up Scottie

"On a lighter note "joke" Mr Farage has decided to stay on the bridge of the good ship UKip."

Is that the one with the rather famously NSFW figurehead?

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Mildly successful flying car crashes - in mildly successful test flight

John Bailey
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"I'm sure that the company can rebuild the vehicle given that it is a prototype, but if that was a customer's production vehicle in ordinary use it would be a write off. Since when did a total write off classify as "seemingly limited damage"?"

Make your mind up.

If it's a write off, then it can not be repaired. If it can be repaired, it is not a write off. Pick one.

"One of the biggest problems with the whole idea of flying cars is what will happen to them after impacts on the road, even at parking speed. Anybody who flies light aircraft will tell you that you're not going to take off in a craft with any visible external damage. How do you fancy your flying car being grounded for very expensive investigative and repair work every time some idiot bumps it? You can't just pop the panel out and hope for the best after somebody biffs it at the pertrol pump."

Really?

I would have thought the fact that if you run out of petrol, you can't really push it to the nearest filling station would be a wee bit more of a problem.

But not being able to fly a damaged plane..

Why is that a problem? Seems a sensible safety measure.

Plane with visible or invisible damage must be deemed airworthy by a qualified person.

If a goose crashed into the wing, and bent a control rod, would the plane be airworthy?

Why should a bump from a car be any different if it happens at ground level or in the air?

Because when someone e wishes to fly in it, it stops being a car, and becomes a plane.

"But the attraction of flying cars is limited in reality anyway."

As is the attraction of hovercraft, boats, submarines, dune buggies, formula one racing cars, rally cars, off road vehicles, and stamp collecting.

"You're still going to need an airstrip to take off and land. The authorities aren't going to let you do that on the road you know."

I think pretty much everybody knows that.

"As a friend of mine says. The nearest airstrip to his house is about half an hour's drive away. OTOH he can land his R44 behind his house and right across the road from his office. When he can't land near his destination he gets a taxi. That, he reckons, is much faster and more convenient than driving to somewhere he's allowed to take off and then converting the car into a plane."

Yes.

Question.. Which has the longer range.

Will the R44 make it from London to Paris, for a romantic dinner with the other half, or the mistress, or the secretary or who ever?

Because lets face it. If one can afford a flying car, one is not going to drive to the nearest Nandos.

Because the thing is..

This is NOT A PRACTICAL PURCHASE.

There is no business case to put forward. There is no rational reason to have one.

This is in aviation terms.. A jet ski.

But the thing that will clinch it for an unknown number of people is that it is FUN!!

This is a rich mans toy. Not a practical mode of transport. So trying to justify it like that is a waste of time.

A Yacht will not get me from England to Spain to pick up a case of Paprika for next week's dinner party quickly and cheaply. But it will get me there in an enjoyable way. And I can pick up a case of wine, and some tapas while I'm at it.

Renting a narrow boat will not get me from A to B as fast as a car, but I can enjoy the scenery as I go, and have a nice holiday.

It isn't always about practicality. Or ostentation.

Sometimes.. it's just fun.

Mine's the one with room for a third nipple.

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Apple Watch fanbois suffer PAINFUL RASH after sweaty wristjob action

John Bailey
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Re: Huh?

"If the technology apes the Timex Datalink, then why were they granted a patent? Or am I missing something?"

Yep..

It's either out of patent, or Timex never bothered patenting it. Cos lots of people have used it.

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SECRET PROTOTYPE iPAD 'stolen from RANDY Apple employee'

John Bailey
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Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

"Only called the cops 5 days later? Me thinks the victim must have also been robbed of something else he didn't want the cops (& Apple) to know about."

Nah.. He was using the GPS on his iPhone, and it took him 5 days to get back to civilisation. After being dumped a mile from his home.

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Apple Watch WRISTJOB SHORTAGE: It's down to BAD VIBES

John Bailey
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Re: So to summarise

"I do love the "you're holding it wrong" jokes which inevitably appear in the comments on every single one of these articles. They're so hilariously original and up-to-date."

Yeah.. Good aren’t they. But.. If you miss a meme, you've blown it.

Not as amusing of course, as the aspiring to be sarcastic, condescending, whiny remarks about how old the joke is that they were engineered to elicit from uptight fanboys.

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

John Bailey
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Re: One card per wallet

"If the exterior of each Faraday cage card wallet were to be given a unique shape, we could use the individual wallet instead of the card if the lock were able to recognise the correct shape. I think the ancient Romans had something like that, called a key. They actually work rather well."

Or.. you could use a little RFID tag to identify each wallet.

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

John Bailey
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Re: Rolex

Neither do Casio.

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

John Bailey
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Re: Really?

"How is this any different from my Macbook asking me if I wanted to upgrade to Yosemite? I don't recall any "tut-tut" article from El Reg for that, so why now?"

1) Mac users are already so far into the brown core of Apple, that any suggestion that every update is not met with street parties and coffee shops full of glee is pretty much met with whines of indignation..

2) Too small a user base to bother reporting on.

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Bonking with Apple is no fun 'cos it's too hard to pay, say punters

John Bailey
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Re: Representative sample?

"But Aldi and Lidl??? They don't seem like the kind of stores favoured by the stereotypical iPhone flasher. Thought you lot were all M&S and Waitrose."

Not stereotypical perhaps, but typical.. Sure.

There is a big gulf between how one sees one's self, and how one actually is.

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QMhOIySiyE

Remember, after paying for the cHav phone and the extra special contract, Aldi and Lidl are all they can afford.

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Streak life: Oz woman flashes boobs at Google Street View car

John Bailey
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Re: Anyone else see the problem with this picture?

Yep.. If that patch of grass is not removed, it could cause the concrete edging of the pavement to move out of place.

Other than that, nothing really jumps out as a problem.

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Anti-gay Indiana starts backtracking on hated law after tech pressure

John Bailey
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Re: A very clever piece of social engineering by these corporations

"If you want to piss all over the democratic process, take direct control of legislative and governmental processes, and turn your democracy into theocracy:"

1. Listen to idiots on forums and in the media, who know nothing, but proclaim their opinion loudly enough to seem like a majority.

2. Be stupid.

3. Let someone else do your thinking for you.

Little historical fact.

The Islamic world was generations ahead of the western world in science, medicine, art, culture, and engineering.

Then they got religion.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

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Apple is like HITLER says Chinese billionaire

John Bailey
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"And China doesn't exercise that kind of control over it's own populace? <rolls eyes> Ok.. sure..."

And Apple is a country? <rolls eyes> Ok.. sure...

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Apple boots Windows 7 out of Boot Camp

John Bailey
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Re: I'm not worried

<quote>I can't afford an Apple box.</quote>

Have you tried asking the people in the supermarket produce section very nicely? They are usually happy to give away the empty ones for free.

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Lighty and flighty: Six sizzling portable projectors

John Bailey
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Re: Noise

"Well that all sounds (sic) rather scientific. Except you forgot to mention from how far away these measurements were made. 'As loud as a jet engine' is often used by 'the media' but it's not that loud if the jet is 50,000 feet away."

I would imagine, approximately one string length away.

How far away do you think they would be measured from? Normal use distance!

It would be kind of pointless to measure the fan noise form the other end of a runway would it not?

So assume indoors in the same room with soft furnishings present.

And the decibels were probably measured by an app on someone's phone, not a professional grade recently calibrated meter in an anechoic chamber.

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Man hauled before beak for using drone to film Premiership matches

John Bailey
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"Ah yet another idiot who perjurers themself by posting on social media."

Or incriminated even..

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Hackers' delight? New Apple wrist-puter gives securobods the FEAR

John Bailey
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"There is a case for those who want to receive notifications from their phone, but felt that wearing google glass showed you were obviously a twat."

Whereas this makes it less obvious?

But considering Ebay is full of smart watches from China that will do that on pretty much any phone for under £30.. The price premium better allow something waaaay better than just notifications and a glorified fitbit.

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John Bailey
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Re: Productivity

Well.. When the office fanboy is trying to show everybody his new shiny, they can all make the excuse they are up to their neck, and can't possibly stop to chat.

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

John Bailey
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Re: Resale Value - not a lot

"Pretty obvious that you didn't keep your original Apple-II for its resale value nowadays."

Pretty obvious you don't understand the difference between price and value.

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‪Obama criticises China's mandatory backdoor tech import rules

John Bailey
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Re: ha

"Do the backdoors in iPhones have rounded corners ?"

Not sure.. they do slide to unlock though.

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Frontier promises it won't 'dumb down' Elite: Dangerous for Xbox

John Bailey
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Frontier promises..

What could possibly go wrong?

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Amazon tries to patent 3D printers on trucks

John Bailey
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Re: Good things come to those who wait...

"It's a pretty interesting idea actually. 3D printing as a service, essentially - means you can get access to a far more capable printer than you could (sensibly) afford."

Yes.

If only someone would offer the service.. Perhaps an online service, where one sends a model, or picks one submitted by someone else, and they print it along with many others to make it more economical, in a variety of materials..

They could call the company Shapeways..

Oh look.. Somebody did already.

BLOODY YEARS AGO.

http://www.shapeways.com/

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US trade bods: No, your iPhone can't detect CANCER

John Bailey
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But.. But.. But..

Isn't this kind of thing a curated app store is supposed to stop happening?

Do Apple not individually thoroughly check every app for wholesomeness and high moral fibre?

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

John Bailey
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Re: One answer...

Ahh... I see the problem here.

You're looking at the one on the left aren't you.

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How many Watches will Apple flog? 20, er, 18.5, no, five, wait, 50 million!

John Bailey
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Re: iWon't

"Yeah, I'm kind of interested how the 18ct gold version will fair, when the owners go to hand that down to their heirs in 30 or 40 years..."

Umm.. I think you mean months.

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

John Bailey
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"However I do hope vacuous will not be the trait most sought after by voters with at least some boffins and useful folk making the cut."

Of course not..

Bubbly , hunky, slutty, and a willingness to get em out on camera are also highly sought after traits.

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Chinese food safety officials drank so much during working lunch that one of them DIED

John Bailey
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Re: And when you are drinking distilled rice alcohol, the results could be deadly.

"Somebody care to explain the down votes???"

Sinophobia.

"Ideally one of the guilty??"

Not very likely,.

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Windows 10 to give passwords the finger and dangle dongles

John Bailey
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"I have one question about this."

Only one?

"Where is the authenticated image of you fingerprint stored?"

Where ever the system stores it. Probably on the server of the website, account you are trying to get into. Linked to your customer records in plain text.

"Some "secure" database that will never, ever be hacked?"

Yep. And it's powered with Davinci's perpetual motion machine.. And the UPS is a potato with two strips of metal stuck in it.

"What happens if (when) your unique fingerprint is stolen."

Use another one. You usually have ten to start out with.

"How do you then verify your identity?"

Who says you can. You become the nameless one, and wander from town to town fighting crime, dispatching the bad guys with a Samurai sword disguised as a walking stick.

"It's a bit hard to change your fingerprints."

Oh that isn't the half of it.

Pick pineapples. No fingerprints.

Work on a building site. No finger prints.

Lose hands in an accident. No fingerprints.

Burn fingers. No finger prints.

Millions of people have no, faint, obscured or unreadable fingerprints. And that is without even trying to mask their identity.

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Ex-NASA boffin dreams of PREDATOR-ish tech in humble microwaves

John Bailey
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Re: Great Idea but.....

"My parents first microwave had the sensor. I don't know why they went out of fashion, it'd make a micro so much better at cooking/reheating food."

Because after a while, people stop worrying, and estimate the time and power.

If you want, get a kitchen thermometer. I had one. Didn't bother replacing it when it broke.

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KUSHINIKIZA! Google Translate SAVES BABY in Irish roadside birth

John Bailey
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"I can't help thinking that she would still have given birth without the smartphone. Even without the paramedics to help her. Women have been doing it for a least a million years."

Indeed they have. And at one time, I believe it was even the most common cause of death in women.

They don't always just pop out with no fuss.

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Watch: China has made an internet censorship THEME SONG

John Bailey
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Re: That reminds me..

"Wouldn't a tune about their police using battery cables against various parts of dissidents bodies be more Chinesy."

Yeah,, but America called dibs.

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Microsoft eyes slice of Raspberry Pi with free Windows 10 sprinkled on top

John Bailey
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Re: Been nice knowing the RasPi

"Embrace has begun, we all know what stages come next."

Yep.

Exaggerate.. the importance of the product.

Extinguish.. the project when they finally face the fact that the latest big thing, ain't really that big.

10 years ago.. perhaps. When MS was able to command the internet, before it got it's teeth pulled. Microsoft was an entity to be feared.

Now days.. Not so much.

Just about every household name in consumer electronics contributes actively and openly to Linux. Because they benefit.

They stayed away in droves from surface. They offered alternatives to Vista, which is where the rot finally surfaced.. And 8 ha seen many old players bow out of the PC market.

The primary portable os is not Windows based.

Tablets owe little to project Origami.

Even government departments are moving away from MS lockin file formats, despite them buying the ISO certification.

The EEE strategy of yesterday is long long gone.

But never mind sweetie.. I'm sure this will be the year of Windows 8 on the desktop..

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The Interview? Kim Jong-Un, you really shouldn’t have bothered

John Bailey
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Re: It's got Seth Rogen in it

"Hmm... Seth Rogen, Adam Sandler, and Will Ferrell... Put them together and it's movie magic."

Ohh.. Does it turn into a pumpkin then?

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Google mouthpieces: 'Right to be Forgotten' should NOT apply on google.com

John Bailey
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"Why can't we find a reason to deport him?"

Because then we would have nowhere to film Doctor Who.

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Apple CEO: Fandroids are BINNING Android in favour of IPHONES

John Bailey
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Re: Hardly surprising

"Ok. For the last fucking time. MARKET SHARE MEANS DICK YOU FUCKING MORONS."

So..

Apple users = small dicks.

Android users = big dicks.

Crackberry users = castrati.

Yes?

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Fanbois to gamebois: Apple paperwork reveals iOS FUNPAD

John Bailey
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Re: Looks like a POP Station.

Ohh.. that would be too delicious.. Pound shop tat having prior art on the fruitarian new gizmo that nobody wanted until now.

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'If you see a stylus, they BLEW it' – Steve Jobs. REMEMBER, Apple?

John Bailey
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Re: Optical stylus

"So they mean rework an optical mouse into the shape of a pen. Got it."

So did Genius it seems..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2pfkJQ1vgU

And many others are no doubt also copying Apple.

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John Bailey
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Re: Color me surprised

"David Hockney has managed to do some good pictures on the iPad. It's all about the user not the technology."

Yes sweetie..

The operative word being MANAGED..

No doubt he could do something absolutely stunning with some charcoal and a light coloured rock..

Its all about the user after all, not the technology.

Right?

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'It's NOT FAIR!' yell RICH KIDS ... and that's a GOOD THING

John Bailey
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Re: Great article but ...

"you mean cows come from eggs?

Who else knew this?"

Pretty much everybody familiar with the process of reproduction..

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