* Posts by JeevesMkII

186 posts • joined 11 Feb 2011

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The fork? Node.js: Code showdown re-opens Open Source wounds

JeevesMkII

Re: Without open source there would be no leftpad

Memset too hard for me. Me need library to do dis.

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

JeevesMkII

Re: This is why everyone thinks students are w*****s

It's the internet, dude. They should thank their lucky stars they don't have to name their boat RRS Hitler Did Nothing Wrong.

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Microsoft's done a terrible job with its Windows 10 nagware

JeevesMkII

Re: Indeed

I don't blame you. Windows update has gone full malware at this point.

It's basically impossible to uninstall compattelrunner and its ilk and keep them uninstalled, Windows update won't take "no" for an answer. I hope it's possible to take them to court for this behaviour, surely installing things on your computer requires some kind of consent?

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Microsoft’s Get Windows 10 nagware shows signs of sentience

JeevesMkII

It won't be long now...

Microsoft seem to have completely given up on the idea that they can produce an operating system that people will pay for, even out of inertia. Now we suffer from this ever evolving MS nagware, but I can only assume the next step is outright malware that drive-by installs Windows on any machine visiting an infected website. I can't wait for MS to develop software to reflash the bios on vulnerable macs rendering them incapable of booting OS X.

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How long is your password? HTTPS Bicycle attack reveals that and more

JeevesMkII

Re: Ok

Or just add an X-Haiku header to every HTTP request with a random haiku in it.

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Hate your broadband ISP? Simply tell your city to build one – that'll get the telcos' attention

JeevesMkII

We all know how this song goes...

Infrastructure is built at tax payer expense, and run profitably for a few years. Then a class of politicians will come along who have been bought by the right companies who'll decide that somehow providing much needed services to the citizenry is not a business the government should be in. Then the infrastructure will be sold off to private interests for a fraction of its worth, the prices will be jacked up unreasonably and the new operators will be seen whining to Whitehall every year about how beleaguered and in need of subsidies they are.

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Flying drug mule crashes in Manchester prison

JeevesMkII

Re: Easy

But if you let its radar lock on to flying objects the size of drones, it'd be raining pigeon corpses in the yard 24/7.

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Google's .bro file format changed to .br after gender bother

JeevesMkII

Re: I despair.

You discovered our evil scheme. All the while we worked on the Symbian installer, we were laughing to ourselves about how our misandrist file extension was destroying the world of men.

Fortunately for our dastardly plot, the patriarchy forced men to pretend to be strong and not injured by this outrage.

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WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA

JeevesMkII

Re: Dark Streaks

Not so much the canals of Mars as the rivulets of Mars.

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Official: North America COMPLETELY OUT of new IPv4 addresses

JeevesMkII

Re: BT

Probably because the world and their dog would complain that everything is broken if they had to view the world through a 6to4 translator shared in common with few thousand other people.

It's all well and good having an IPv6 address, but until all the world's services are IPv6, it's going to break things if your house doesn't have at least one IPv4 address to itself.

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JeevesMkII

As an IPv6 early adopter....

Shame on El Reg for not doing their part:

> Pinging www.theregister.co.uk [104.20.4.226] with 32 bytes of data:

> ..................................SHAME!.<^^^^^^^^^^^^> SHAME!

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1

OFFICIAL: Zuck's BIG in-your-face Facebook Messenger SHOVE finally pays off

JeevesMkII

Re: Use is not compulsary

As of a few months ago, that's no longer true.

Now any clients that want to be compatible have to leach off the Browser version's data, probably breaking the terms of service and getting broken at the whim of facebook. Joy.

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HSBC takes Twitter tongue-lashing over failure to offer Apple Pay

JeevesMkII

Re: Nando's

Or perhaps there just isn't anyone in the entire world tedious enough to tweet about how they bought quinoa at Nando's with their iPhone.

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Pirate Bay founders 'cleared of copyright crimes' in Belgium

JeevesMkII

Re: Typo in sub heading?

Nope, "founder" is exactly the word they were going for. It's a nautical joke, innit.

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Apple's Swift creeps up dev language survey – but it's bad news for VB

JeevesMkII

Re: Stack Overflow use introduces a big bias

I think the StackOverflow bias is mainly towards languages that clueless newbies think they should know.

I've long since given up with either asking or answering questions there. For most queries you'll find there, the proper answer is "when is your homework due?" and if you ever have a question of your own that's hard enough to give you more than an hour's pause, then you'll never find anyone knowledgeable enough to answer your questions in return.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Cuy Chactado – Deep-fried guinea pig

JeevesMkII

It'd be a lot more appetising if...

they didn't leave the little head on. I don't like to empathise with my dinner, thanks.

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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

JeevesMkII

Re: Blimey!

Our washing machine bleeps ceaselessly once the cycle is finished until you open the door. Believe me when I say awe is not the feeling this feature inspires.

6
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'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely

JeevesMkII

Does this actually work for any reasonable definition of "work"? It would seem like this would be a derivative of youtube's automatic subtitling, which is legendarily awful. Except with the constraint of having to be real time, so it's limited in just how many audio frames it can look ahead to get grammar hints (though it can go back and revise if it has a better idea later, I suppose.)

If it's anything like what I've already seen, I think a lot of tourists are going to be very confused.

2
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High Court: You've made our SH*T list – corked pirate torrent sites double in a day

JeevesMkII

Sounds familiar...

"It carefully targets sites whose sole purpose is to make money off the back of other people's content while paying nothing back into the legitimate economy."

Wait, isn't that Google's business plan?

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Apple's new iPADS have begun the WAR that will OVERTURN the NETWORK WORLD

JeevesMkII
Megaphone

Re: Very worrying!

Mobile operators desperately need the Picard speech at this point. "I will not sacrifice our SIM cards. We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They took our app revenue, and we fall back. They cannibalise entire network services and we fall back. The line must be drawn here. THIS FAR, NO FURTHER."

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Linux systemd dev says open source is 'SICK', kernel community 'awful'

JeevesMkII

I think this article can be neatly summed up as...

Noted opinion haver has opinions. Film at 11.

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Sun of a beach! Java biz founder loses battle to keep his shore private

JeevesMkII

Re: They get beach access, but

Maintaining public rights of way is one of the liabilities you accept when you buy a property. If he's pissed about it, well tough. Caveat emptor.

I did enjoy the idea that it was the members of the public who are greedy, not the billionaire who wanted a private beach though. Keep it up, you'll master satire yet.

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I sold 10 MILLION iPhone 6es at the weekend, says Tim Cook. What did you do?

JeevesMkII

I believe the traditional response is...

"Yer mum, mate."

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Don't bother with Apple's 9 Sept hype-day: Someone's GONE AND BLABBED IT ALL

JeevesMkII

Le Sigh

I really hope they haven't convinced the major card issuers to back their proprietary proximity payment system. The last thing we need is that sort of fragmentation.

The right answer is to tell them to get with the program and implement the open standard everyone else uses.

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Call girl injected Google exec with heroin, drank wine, left him to die – cops claim

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Brit bank Barclays rolls out voice recog for telephone banking

JeevesMkII

Thsi just seems bizarre to me

I mean, barclays hand out time-based password machines to all their customers. Why not just ask telephone banking customers for that, rather than buying an expensive new system that'll probably be about as secure as a glass bank vault.

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iOS 8 screencaps leak: Text editor, dictaphone and 'tips' on the way

JeevesMkII

Re: If there's anything that iOS needs...

Sigh. As if 100% sandboxed or a complete free for all are the only two states of being possible.

You only have to look back as far as Symbian to see how to do it properly. Private data was private to the app, public data was public, and there was even an intermediate state where data could be shared between particular applications but not with the world at large.

Call it what it is: laziness. They can't be bothered with proper security, so they have this half-arsed system that inconveniences everyone.

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Candy Crush King plans IPO valuing it at $7.6 BEEELLION

JeevesMkII

Re: Wow

"I think your bang on there, some stupid mugs are going to be left holding worthless bits of paper in 12 months."

Probably the same mugs who are already holding a bunch of worthless Zynga stock. Some people will never learn.

Having had a smash hit in the volatile mobile games market does not qualify you as a sound investment. Past experience indicates success isn't repeatable. Even if King somehow have found the magic formula to creating a stable business out of mobile games, wouldn't you want to see them demonstrate that before the IPO?

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Your 'funny' cat pics are weighing down the web, so here's a better JPEG encoder from Mozilla

JeevesMkII

Re: What about a GIF squasher too?

GIF is a lossless standard like PNG. There's no wiggle room for better compression without discarding data or changing the format, a GIF is a GIF. At this point, it's pretty unlikely that a new animated image format will catch on. Anything you can't do with a GIF, people are probably going to do with a canvas.

People are already doing clever stuff with compressing the motion bit of animated gifs by defining the smallest part of the image that needs to be updated with each frame. Most video clip to GIF software does this.

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China in the grip of a 'NUCLEAR WINTER': Smog threat to crops

JeevesMkII

Re: Economics Chinese Style

Come now. Even at the height of the cold war, when we were quite prepared to obliterate Beijing with atomic fire, we wouldn't stoop so low as to inflict Chairman Thatcher on the poor bastards. I'm pretty sure that's considered a crime against humanity.

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Groupon plans MORE losses next quarter: Will lob wads of cash down marketing's maw

JeevesMkII

Re: groupon is still a thing?

The suckers who invested in a loss-making company at IPO?

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Cops cuff 5 suspects after Silk Road copycat secret drug souk bust

JeevesMkII

At this point...

You've got to strongly suspect every single tor node is compromised. It doesn't seem like the cops have very much trouble busting all these black marketeers.

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China's Jade Rabbit moon rover might have DIED in the NIGHT after 'abnormality'

JeevesMkII

Re: Yutu be or not to be....

Marvin the Martian, surely.

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Is Google building SKYNET? Ad kingpin buys AI firm DeepMind

JeevesMkII
Terminator

Its one weakness: Poor reception on radio 4 long wave.

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Not even 1.4m users can save 4Chan founder Chris Poole's startup

JeevesMkII

I think I see the problem...

"venture-backed opportunity." Jesus wept.

What ever happened to making something people want and charging money for it?

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India's grip on offshoring eases ever so slightly

JeevesMkII

In other news, managers still stupid enough to believe what they lose in productivity they can make up for in volume.

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PGP wiz Phil Zimmermann and pals tout anti-snoop mobe – the Blackphone

JeevesMkII

I wouldn't hold your breath...

Geeksphone can't even ship their own damn phones. My guess is this'll launch some time around the 20th of never.

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Hopefuls rattle tin for customisable snap together 3D printer

JeevesMkII

Re: Wake Me Up

I'm sure the killer application for DIY 3D printing is minature wargames piracy.

If there aren't laser scans of Games Workshop minatures on the pirate bay at this very moment, there really ought to be.

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You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

JeevesMkII

Re: "original intent"

@A.O No, but unless you seriously want a court case to turn on whether a jury of Americans thinks a joke is funny, I'd stop asking awkward questions.

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JeevesMkII

Re: Pretty much my thoughts too

Since almost all parody produced today is ultimately for commercial gain that seems like a pretty silly argument. I never heard anyone complaining when Spitting Image were producing their parody albums doing exactly what the Beastie Boys are complaining about here.

In fact, I think this is far more defensible than actually selling the song itself. It's unarguably transformative, has absolutely zero impact on the commercial value of the original, uses only a small subset of the original work, and considering the opposite intent of the new lyrics it probably qualifies as parody (in this case of the song, rather than the artist.)

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Chinese iPhone thief returns SIM, contact list to rightful owner

JeevesMkII

He doesn't sound like a very smart criminal

After all, what would he have done if the thief decided to send a letter to the police with the man's address and information about "what business he is in"?

2
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Guess which major US telco ISN'T cracking down on premium SMS spam?

JeevesMkII

Re: Its been the cancer of the UK mobile business for years

Not really the same thing.

In the UK, it's all about conning people in to sending texts to premium numbers. Same with those silent calls to try to con you in to dialling the premium rate number in the caller ID.

In the US they have this really bizarre practice of charging you for text messages you actually receive. The user doesn't have to do anything other than fail to text STOP back.

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Twitter fires up stronger, anti-snooping encryption for its millions of twits

JeevesMkII

Doing what exactly?

TLS implemented well is more than enough to keep even professional criminals from eavesdropping on your traffic. I'd far sooner trust Twitter to use OpenSSL or GnuTLS according to the instructions than I would them implementing their own cryptosystem. Frankly, they're almost bound to have got it wrong somewhere.

It does nothing to keep the real problem at bay, that being government agents bearing rubber-stampted court orders, and adds a real element of risk that they've fucked it up and made themselves vulnerable to actual, feasible attacks rather than the largely theoretical bullshit attacks against TLS 1.1.

Why not just deploy TLS 1.2 everywhere and wait for browsers to catch up in support?

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Cryptolocker infects cop PC: Massachusetts plod fork out Bitcoin ransom

JeevesMkII

A novel approach to crimefighting...

I'm sure they can solve other crimes by handing the criminals wads of money too. Think of the reduction in burglary if they just paid everyone thinking of doing a B&E job.

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'PATHETIC' Galaxy Gear sales skewer smartwatch HYPE-O-GASM bubble

JeevesMkII

I have to wonder...

If the Apple Smartwatch was a cunning ploy to waste all their competitors time. It'd be genius. Put about a rumour that you're about to release a revolutionary new piece of consumer electronic tat that'll open up a whole new market sector, then point and laugh as all your rivals put out their own competitor to your phantom product that predictably flops on the market.

OK, not very likely, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense than actually developing a watch.

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When three Linux journos go crowdfunding

JeevesMkII

50 percent of profits?

Considering it's a dead tree publication, I can only assume that'll be 50% of nothing.

Having seen what's been happening with other niche publications like New Scientist, I think their days are numbered even before launch.

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'A measly 3 Instagrams? NO!' Sexy selfie Snapchat spurns Facebook's $3bn

JeevesMkII

There ought to be a name for this kind of hubris...

Zero profit startups rejecting massive buyouts because they think they shit gold bricks.... It needs a name... I'm sure there's a Digg pun to be had but it's not coming to me this late at night.

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GoDaddy kicks off gTLD land rush with first domain sales

JeevesMkII

Gettcha fake Fendi and Rolex....

.luxury sounds like the most tacky possible bit of internet real estate. I can only assume it's a honeytrap for spammers. I think I might put in a rule now that moves all emails with a .luxury domain in the header or body to spam.

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EYE-GASMIC: Apple MacBook Pro 15-inch with Retina Display

JeevesMkII

Re: Does it seem to anyone else...

Sure that's true, and that tends to be what I buy. I have a Dell Precision M6500 now. It's getting on towards 3 years old, and my experience is that 4 years is about the point at which I tend to start wanting a new one.

The problem is a) It costs 2000 quid, which I suppose is reasonable if you're conditioned by Apple prices but is a lot of money compared to other laptops, and b) The FirePro and Quadro cards get very little in the way of driver love. I have to run my laptop with the Radeon HD drivers as a generic 5800 series card, because the optimized FirePro drivers were ancient, buggy and never updated.

If I had my choice, I'd like the nice bulky, well ventilated but non-light-up build of the Precision combined with one of the high end gaming chips from, say, the Alienware line.

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JeevesMkII

Does it seem to anyone else...

That it's now almost impossible to buy a laptop with discrete graphics that isn't a gaming laptop? I know the intel graphics chips have been getting better over the past few years, but their 3D performance is still pretty terrible.

I don't want a laptop that lights up seven ways from Sunday, I just want a nice mundane looking laptop that can play a game of Civ 5 on occasion.

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