* Posts by Colin Millar

1241 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Jun 2007

Dashboard Siri! Take me to the airport! NO, NOT the RUNWAY! Argh!

Colin Millar
Stop

Standards? from car makers?

I see you waiting a long time for your hope to materialise.

There may be some convergence as you get more and more low end stuff simply being rebadges but this is the industry that respecs a spark plug at the drop of a hat.

Still - at least red always means stop. Well apart from when it means don't stop.

Pony up: Botnet succesfully targets Bitcoin

Colin Millar
Coat

Anyone want to buy

This bridge in Brooklyn?

As the man said

"There's one born every minute, you just happened to come along at the right time"

Some first-wave big data projects 'written down' says Deloitte

Colin Millar

Oldest reason in the book

Its not the tech.

They fail because the businesses didn't know what they wanted them to do. Most businesses have money making bits that work cos people want to buy what they do. Better data mining is, at best, marginal in terms of customer relations and practically useless at developing new markets (hint - its the big demographic that you're not currently selling to).

EU hunts down online cross-border lawbook bureaucra-snaggles

Colin Millar
Big Brother

Oh noes - not an in depth review!!!!

The EU sets up yet another money sucking black hole of bureaucracy, decades long lawyer fest considered and weighty investigation into a vital and pressing matter.

Of course they could just ask Google what rules they would like and save all that time but that wouldn't keep the poor lawyers in champagne and yachts be accountable to the proletariat through the democratic organs of the state (might be getting my political horseshit a bit mixed here).

Hang on to your wallets taxpayers - this could get expensive.

Big Brother - membership open to lawyers and accountants only.

Silk Road admins: Sorry for the hack, we're sorting out refunds

Colin Millar
Facepalm

Criminals steal money shocker

Defcon may not have any indication but if it looks like a duck it probably is.

Mr Plod: So sir - you deposited all this money at at bank of Ronnie Biggs and now it is gone? Are you a complete moron or were you just having an off-day?

'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

Colin Millar

Analyst = stockbrokers fluffer

Financial consultant = my mate who wants some money

SCRAP the TELLY TAX? Ancient BBC Time Lords mull Beeb's future

Colin Millar
Pirate

Looking out for No 1

See that Grade is doing what he does best - making sure he gets his bit.

Wait for them to utter the magic words "commissioning agency" - aka a government mechanism for shovelling the public sponds to their mates.

Bitcoin value plunges as Mt.Gox halts withdrawals and Russia says 'nyet'

Colin Millar
Coat

Re: Bit confused here

Traditional currencies have an asset base? When did that happen?

An asset base for the dollar - very funny. Alexander Hamilton pretty much defined the asset base for the dollar as "other peoples' stuff" and US policy hasn't changed since then.

Icon - the logo of the US Treasury department - motto - "What''s yours is mine, what's mine is my own"

Barclays Bank probes 'client data sold to rogue City traders' breach

Colin Millar

What makes you all think it was a security breach?

" Barclays Financial Planning" sounds like a legal scam so anyone who fell for it is likely to have signed anything put in front of them (including the "Yes lots of yummy spam for me" box)

Maybe Barclays just flogged the data to some third party - would have got a good rate too for suckers with a pedigree.

NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

Colin Millar

Re: Haha, why not Robocop?

"setting an autonomous killing machine loose on an intended target"

You don't need fictional characters as examples - bounty hunters pretty much fit this description and they are very real.

Apple in bid to turn MORE and MORE humans into iPhone-stroking fanbois

Colin Millar

Re: Half a job...

No fair question

It doesn't have that information in the press release - do you expect the poor hack to do, like, research and stuff?

CCTV warning notices NOT compliant with data protection laws – ICO

Colin Millar
Pirate

Re: So the ICO...

Yep - it's the latest silver bullet phrase

"Low-hanging fruit"

AKA - always go for the soft targets, the captive market and those who can't fight back.

It's just a bit ironic that the ICO - the single most useless piece of government bureacracy since the ministry of silly walks - is now targetting other bits of the machine which actually have some degree of relevance in the real world.

And I heard a (nasal, whiney) voice in the midst of the four beasts. And I looked, and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Mr Braithwaite, and forms in triplicate followed with him.

GP surgeries MUST DO BETTER on data handling, says ICO

Colin Millar
Pirate

If you think it is bad now

Wait till all the GP surgeries are being run by G4S, SERCO and Capita

Facebook will LOSE 80% of its users by 2017 – epidemiological study

Colin Millar
Flame

Do they not have entrance exams for Princeton?

There is no reason to believe that epidemiological models apply despite the desperate sounding crap supposed to justify it - the reference to MySpace is so poorly thought out it makes me wonder if you need to do abstract thought to get into Princeton these days - if you think about it for more than a knee-jerk second MySpace cannot be looked at as a precedent for a methodology analysing the future success or otherwise of Facebook.

"The precedent for applying epidemiological models to non-disease applications has previously been set by research focused on modeling the spread of less-tangible applications such as ideas"

That's it - something as massive as the dissemination of ideas has a superficial resemblance to some epidemiological models therefore it applies to FaceBook which is not an idea but an internet service with an actively changing relationship with its clients. Oh - and apparently when no-one is actively espousing an idea it is because they lost interest in it (after all what else could have happened to an idea) which is the equivalent of becoming immune to the idea.

If all that is not enough they then admit that its all based on a Google mashup anyway.

FaceBook may well be getting stale in a digital world moving at a tremendous pace and personally I don't think they would be any great loss. But this paper is just trolling bollocks.

Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

Colin Millar
Coffee/keyboard

Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

So i am going to share it with you

Both partners wearing glass and sharing the view they are getting with each other in real time

Barf

Apple hires medical techies, raises spectre of iStuff slurping data direct from your bloodstream

Colin Millar
Coat

Bragging about your prowess

How about a smart overcoat that measures how much it expands and how long it stays expanded eh? - and then spaffs (sorry) your performance stats in real time.

Target hackers: Woohoo, we're rich! Um. Guys? Anyone know how to break bank encryption?

Colin Millar

Er - too much information?

Why are they sending the PIN to the merchant gateway? Neither the merchant gateway nor the card-issuer needs to know that information - just that a duly validated card has been used. Surely all the PIN needs to do is verify to the card that it can activate - even the POS terminal doesn't need to know what the PIN is.

Coffee a memory enhancing drug, say boffins

Colin Millar

Re: More important drink in the UK - Italian coffee?

@ Michael

Italian? - no wonder you didn't like it - that bland piss is the PG tips of coffee.

Nearly 1 in 5 of UK's Xmas gifts were bought online... not that it helped

Colin Millar

Re: Couriers. - work deliveries

My employer used to allow this till a few years ago when our security office started to resemble argos.

If you had a Land Rover R380 you would get it in easily.

How the NSA hacks PCs, phones, routers, hard disks 'at speed of light': Spy tech catalog leaks

Colin Millar

Re: It's like reading a CDW catalog from evil mirror-world!!

Er - yes it is

Acoustics refers to the sound carrying properties of a wave.

Subsonic means below the speed of sound carrying frequencies.

A subsonic wave by definition has no acoustic properties.

Human hearing ability is not relevant to either term.

Colin Millar

Re: It's like reading a CDW catalog from evil mirror-world!!

Subsonic acoustics is a contradiction in terms.

Apart from that - yep - assume every bit of hardware is compromised unless you beat it out of the metal yourself.

Remember - two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead and the other one wasn't told the secret.

JAILBREAK! US smut spam king Kilbride flees minimum security prison

Colin Millar
Pirate

Re: The good news is

Rukario

You are right - he didn't allude to whether he condoned it- he came straight out and said he condoned it. Hint: try reading the title of his post again - I think it can only be taken one way.

Good news that someone might get raped eh? I suppose he has brought it on himself and after all justice is best delivered by those very people who have nothing but contempt for laws and a vicious inclination to inflict suffering and control over people weaker than themselves.

Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

Colin Millar

Re: @ TrishaD @steve davies

In Tatchell's line of work being ridiculed by straight people is something of a given. And he isn't much of a bandwagon jumper. He is one of those who start wagons rolling in the first place.

Nato, UN, NGOs slug it out with namespace biz bods: IMHO... STFU

Colin Millar

Its quite simple

The internet conmen's commerce association wants to protect their rights to mislead customers and the Association of Big Brothers wants to control all of your informations.

California OLDSTER in WILD golf course SKATEBOARDING spree

Colin Millar
Happy

I love that company

They also sell an adjustable club - 34 clubs in one.

$199 or $179 each if you buy two.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Sky rapped over PREMATURE SEXY CONDOM ad

Colin Millar

Whatever happens

Don't let the kids know about sex things - it could lead to us having the highest teenage pregnacy rate in the whole of Europe.

Oh - we already do?

Google Glass pics will BAFFLE admirers: Nudge nudge, WINK WINK

Colin Millar

Re: Cue lots of pictures appearing on the internet

I thought the "question you have to ask" was "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"

HALF of all Bitcoin-investing Winklevoss twins predict $400bn market for the currency

Colin Millar
Coat

Its the new economic model

Make shit up and put big numbers on it.

Sorry - did I say new - I meant the same old con trick that's been around for at least 300 years.

No anon pr0n for you: BT's network-level 'smut' filters will catch proxy servers too

Colin Millar

Sites promoting proxies?

They are going to block themselves?

And every internet security firm?

I think they mean "sites that compete with our overpriced crap"

Excise Xmas prezzie indecision MISERY with El Reg’s gift guide²

Colin Millar

Re: Hard-learned lesson

Its not just giving it to them. Simply mentioning that some firm has a new model shiny coming out can get taken as a recommendation, guarantee and lifetime service support agreement all in one.

Developer CEO 'liable for copyright infringement' over unlawful tool

Colin Millar

Re: Exclusive rights

Yep - you can always tell a total Numpty by the meaningless crap analogy to something totally unconnected.

For the brain free numpties out there it really is simple.

If the state makes up laws and doesn't enforce them its laws are meaningless.

Colin Millar

Exclsive rights

Well - the first wouldn't be any good without the second. If the state is to have the power to grant exclusive rights then it must enforce its own grants or it doesn't have the power to grant rights.

Bit stupid of appworks to allow the infinging version to be presented as its own work.

To fel with you! There's an NSA spook in my World of Warcraft

Colin Millar
Mushroom

Here's the plan

1) Massive campaign to get all fanatics addicted to WoW - distribute copies of the game as "Blowing shit up for dummies"

2) Lots of spooks follow them in - in accordance with CPGB rules from the 60's I think it has to be 20 spooks per nutjob.

3) Open global pizza delivery and adult nappy changing service

4) Triple whammy - Profit, peace and freedom from oppression!!!!

PayPal 13 plead guilty to launching DDoS attacks

Colin Millar
Big Brother

Re: PLF

Yeah - The People - that gaseous construct used to fill (yet another) of the gaping holes in Marxist theory like a bad plot device.

Shouty people need The People to exist in order to justify their desperate need to know what's best for everyone. The problem is if they end up in charge they find that people look nothing like The People and the vast majority of them need re-educating or shooting.

The problem for revolutionaries isn't that people are stupid - it's that they are not stupid enough.

So M anonymous - just remember - you speak only for yourself - just like EU commissioners, philosophers with god complexes and tinpot despots.

Crown Representative: SME biz is huge... but I don't have exact figures

Colin Millar

If SME suppliers are half the price of traditional suppliers

and the contract doesn't go Pete Tong then the SFO should be popping round for a word with those traditional suppliers

Most of Dread Pirate Roberts' treasure still buried, say researchers

Colin Millar

Re: Hype combo points

And that relates to cocoa just how?

Colin Millar

Re: Hype combo points

Cocoa is a narcotic?

Oh Granny - you bad girl.

Reg man inhales the smooth, non-cancerous, taste of USB nicotine

Colin Millar

Re: @dogged (was: One point that is often conveniently forgotten ...)

Yeah - so does alcohol - lets ban that too. Now what shall we call the campaign - oh yeah lets call it Prohibition 2.0 coz it worked out so well first time round.

Can't you nazis get it through your heads - it's my human system and if I want to fuck it up that's my choice.

NO! Radio broadcasters snub 'end of FM' DAB radio changeover

Colin Millar
Mushroom

Re: Things that need to happen

Legislation to mandate radio connections in cars? Are you nuts?

Talk about taking a thermonuclear explosion to crack a peanut

Netflix, YouTube video killed the BitTorrent star? Duo gobble web traffic

Colin Millar

Re: Unfair Comparison

2011 - not too un-recent

Brit PM raps Facebook for allowing GORY beheading vids

Colin Millar

The worst bit of corporate BS ever

"Facebook defended the move by stating it was allowing users to post the vids where it was clearly shared to allow the community to condemn such murders"

So FB has examined this material to the degree where it has clarity about the intention of the user in posting? And it still claims it is NOT publishing the material?

What happens when despite the "intention" of the poster the community refuses to jump on the bandwagon and starts praising the content instead? Do they take it down because the community is not thinking the way it ought to?

Facebook looking really desperate to get that nose all the way up the advertisers' arses. Look at us - we can face whatever direction we are required to on any given issue - and sometimes mulitple directions within the same twad *

* twad = the average length of time of a twitter fad measured over the preceding2r4 hours

'Donkey-tugging' EU data protection law backed by MEPs

Colin Millar
Happy

Re: delete the pointer

Oh - all those suckers potential clients for my new WhitewashYourTeens service. I get loads of indians to spend years building profiles from 0 to whenever - twitter, FB,etc. Then - when your human beingness gets in the way of that job/political role etc hey presto - instant virgin!!!! I can actually see possibilities for losing the indians and getting appzombies(tm) to create such personas and think they are having such cool fun.

There is nothing new under the sun.

Apple slams brakes on orders of (not so cheap) plasticky iPhone 5C

Colin Millar

Re: Shouldn't be hard for apple to break into the lower end of the market

Was your sense of humour surgically removed? or did you just stick your fingers down your throat till you sicked it up?

Colin Millar
Trollface

Shouldn't be hard for apple to break into the lower end of the market

They would have to upspec their products a bit but that wouldn't be very difficult.

US parents proclaim 811 'Messiahs'

Colin Millar

Re: Down here, all the boys are called Bruce

You don't mean "condition #1" by any chance?

Wikileaks FAILS to start Twitter bitchfight with Guardian hack

Colin Millar
WTF?

Another wikileaks exclusive

Professional journalist intends to make money from writing something shocker!!!

Read it all in your super soaraway wikileaks.

Facebook throws servers on their back in HOT TUBS of OIL

Colin Millar
Coat

Re: Viscosity?

Or even better - a brick from a night storage heater.

Should Nominet ban .uk domains that use paedo and crim-friendly words?

Colin Millar
Big Brother

Banning words

Yes - how could that go wrong

Next week - lets go out and burn some books cos they have the banned words in them

Google submits YET ANOTHER offer to fix 'search dominance' in EU

Colin Millar
Alert

This won't end well

Google and an EU commissioner.

Massive corporate monopoly and an unelected, unaccountable crat.

As the great man said

"Son, there's a lot of things in this world that you're gonna have no use for"

And I'm looking at two of em right now

UK gov dials 999 over Serco prison escort fraud claims

Colin Millar
Flame

Grayling has determined the outcome of the investigation already

He says there are "... no indications of "systemic malpractice up to board level" " despite the investigation having only just started and the whole business model of self-certifying performance stats being a giant nod from Ministers to G4 and plainly designed to be abused. The systematic malpractice goes up to Board level alright - and then some way further.

The whole privatisation agenda these days is no longer based on value for money but capture of tax volumes - grab the tax-based income stream and then see how to little you can do in return. Ministers know this and collude with businesses by such mechanisms as self-certifying performance stats.

And now some poor minimum wage monkeys are going to get thrown to the wolves. I expect some credible insider was about to blow the whistle and they decided it was time to start the arse covering phase of the contract.